The Spirit Detective

"Spirit gun."

A blue beam of energy shot out of my index finger, and was heading straight towards Celestia's face at high speeds. Everyone in the huge throne room stared at the blue beam of energy with their mouths agape, as it shot itself at their ruler. Just before it hit their ruler though, a box of what appeared to be from some sort of postal company dropped from the ceiling.

My Spirit gun blew up upon hitting said box, and didn't hit its designated target. I looked up to see where the fuck this random box came from, only to be greeted by some derpy looking delivery pony with a grey coat, and a blond mane.

"What The Fuck!"

I was so close to showing that cunt a piece of my mind, only to have it stopped by some stupid ass looking pony. Seriously what the fuck. This dumb bitch must have been so clumsy that she dropped her deliver in the middle of the god damn throne room. What gives man.

I then looked back at Celestia, and she did not look very pleased with the whole breaking in, and trying to shoot her thing.

"Who dares to try to hurt me and my little ponies during such a grand event!" Celestia yelled at me from across the throne room. Damn she had some lungs on her.

"Don't you remember solar bitch, you are the one who turned me to stone. How long ago was it again? Oh yeah, a thousand years!"

She looked at me with an angry glare, but soon relaxed and flew over towards me. I went to charge her and hit her so hard in the mouth that she would never eat the same again, but this strange ass golden energy enveloped me. I couldn't move for some reason, no matter what I tried.

"What gives!" I shouted at that bitch angrily.

She landed next to me only about a foot away from my face, and scrunched her eyes; examining me.

"wait one second, aren't you the one who took on twenty of my guards, and blew up three houses a thousand years ago."

"Hey they attacked me first, I was just as confused as them upon seeing each other, but they thought it would be smart to up and assault me." I responded to her frustrated with her refusing to accept responsibility for encasing me in stone for no reason.

"I never got your name?" she asked me.

"My name is Yusuke Urameshi, and right now I want to shove my foot up your ass."

"Well, its funny Yusuke. From what I heard a little filly was seen being hassled by some strange creature, before my guards even thought of assaulting you." she replied to me with a coy smile.

"Hey she kept calling me weird, and wouldn't answer my question of where am I." I replied to her with a growl.

"And that gives you the right to frighten her?" Solar bitch asked me with a eyebrow raised.

"Your damn right it does!" I shouted back at her.

"Well, it seems you have learned nothing from your time as a statue." Celestia then turned around and looked at six ponies infront of the throne. "I guess you're going to have to spend even more time in stone."

That lavender colored bitch from earlier nodded her head and said.  "Right princess." She then turned and looked at the other ponies next to her. "Girls, lets show this fiend what he deserves."

I saw them glow with so much rainbow energy, it would make a gay guy blush. They levitated into the air, the necklaces--tiara in the lavender ones case-- were connected by a rainbow, which then flew up high into the air, and then headed straight towards me.

Celestia moved out of the way, and released her grip on me. I only had time to flip her off with both my hands, before the rainbow crashed into me. I felt my body from the feet up being encased in stone once again, and saying I fucking hated it was a understatement.

Well this sucks, I'm fucking stone again. Well at least the world knows now that I fucking hate it, because I am now permanently giving it the bird.

I was carried by a few guards back to my spot next to discord again. Why the hell do I have to be next to this fool again, there is plenty of other places in this damn garden.

I see someone did oh so very well in, what was it, oh yeah shoving their foot up Celestia's ass. I heard that damned fool inside my head mocking me.

Shut the hell up! It's not like you fared any better.

I heard him laughing inside my head. Did I ever tell you that I hate his laughter so much, because I do, I really do.

I knew you would royally mess up, yet you didn't listen to me. Seriously you young-lings need to listen to your elders more often. He continued to mock me.

Discord once both of us are out of this stony prison again, I'm going to punch you so hard. You hear me? I threatened him.

It was silent from then on. I guess it's time to enjoy the scenery again, because I'm gonna be here a long time, again.

I saw the Celestia make her way over to me and Discord's statue. She had a grin on her face as she did. she stood in front of us and said.

"It's your lucky day boys. your going to be turned back to normal."

Oh Celestia that is a very bad choice. You are basically asking me to kick your ass now.

"Guards!" She shouted.

"Yes your majesty." four guards come up to her and bowed their heads.

"I need you to take these here statues, and load them into a chariot. We are going to be taking them to Ponyville for a little visit."

Ponyville? that must be the stupidest name for a town I have ever heard.

"Right away your majesty." Replied the guards before giving her a salute. We were then taken by said guards to a chariot, and loaded onto it.

I seriously can't believe that she is going through with this. Well, it's not like I'm complaining.

We landed just outside of Ponyville, and were then loaded off of the chariot, then placed onto the ground nearby. Celestia and a couple of guards were standing just in front of us waiting for something.

It was a couple of minutes later before the six bitches who encased me in stone again were heading towards us. They are going to get it right after Celestia finally gets my shoe up her ass. They talked with their ruler for about a minute, before doing the whole routine they did before they encased me in stone again.

The rainbow hit me and Discord, and we were soon free.

"Oh! Ooh! Ooooh! Well, it's about time somepony got me ou-" I interrupted Discord's awakening speech, by giving him the punch I promised him. I channeled my energy to my fist before hitting him as hard as I could. He was sent flying into a nearby house.

"I told you I was gonna punch your punk ass!"

The group of ponies around me had their mouths agape in shock over me hitting Discord. I was then again in the grasp of Solar bitches energy, and was unable to move.

"Oh for fucks sake, again. What Gives?"

"You need to calm down, and stop attacking people for one second in your life." she told me. "You are probably wondering why you're being released from stone. Well let me tell you why." She pointed over to the group of ponies in front of me with her fore hoof. "You see them over there. Well lets just say that they are going to be teaching you some proper manners, and how to be a good citizen.

I glared at the cunts in front of me.

"There is no way I'm agreeing with this."

"Or you could always return to being stone again." She looked at me with a grin on her face.

Oh come on, with a choice like that I wonder why she is even asking. I just simply replied to her.

"Fuck my life."