Kirk was riding home on his dark and edgy skateboard and listening to Linkin Park all the while writing poetry about how unfair his parents. This was very important to the plot because all of the people of Lehauton knew he was the edgiest of them all. It was on this day that he would finally get to meet his one true love Shrek Rarity. [spoiler]Kirk dies at the end but not before being able to touch the butt.[/spoiler]