Morning dawned upon Canterlot with its usual brilliant fanfare, the sky lighting up in shining orange and gold as the sun awoke from its slumber.

Meanwhile, in a fairly isolated tower in Canterlot castle, Twilight telekinetically slammed the shutters closed, drew the curtains, and shoved her specially made rolling bookcase in front of her window before groaning and trying futilely to go back to sleep.

The years between her induction as Princess Celestia’s protege and now had been kind to the young teenager, as she had begun blossoming into quite the beauty. Alas, that beauty would have to come later, as teenage gangly awkwardness had hit the thirteen year old Aetherial full force, turning her from childishly adorable to skinny and clumsy.

Twilight groaned again and threw aside her covers, slowly plodding over to the mini-fridge she had bought some year-and-a-half ago and scanning at the contents. As she withdrew her usual morning pick-me-up, she chugged it down as she slowly stumbled into her bathroom.

She turned on the shower and waited for a moment, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and idly noting that she was somehow even paler than she was yesterday. Stripping off her nightwear, she stepped into the near-scalding spray of water and sighed in relief, finally waking up in full.

Her moment of blissful silence and solitude was broken by a head of unruly black hair and red eyes. “Hey boss! Did you know you can shove a guy up a cow’s ass?!”

“GAH! ALUCARD GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SHOWER! I’M KINDA FUCKING NAKED RIGHT NOW, YOU TOTAL ASSHOLE!”

“Oh please, like anyone cares about that flat chest of yours, boss,” Alucard said, looking and sounding offended. “Why would I care about your flat as a board self when I can have that buxom sex goddess of a teacher you’ve got? I think I felt an emotional connection the last time she hit me.”

“JUMP UP YOUR OWN ASS AND DIE!” Twilight screeched, grabbing a scrub brush and whacking at Alucard’s skull.

Alucard laughed and phased out of the shower. “Oh, by the way. I tilted all the paintings along your usual route.” He laughed again as he left the bathroom, taking a moment to steal her clean panties just to be an asshole.

Twilight facepalmed and resumed showering, muttering, “Oh god, walking through that hallway is going to give me such a headache now…”

Twilight glared at Alucard as the pair made their way to Celestia’s study for Twilight’s lesson that day. “You couldn’t have waited five goddamn minutes for me to finish showering?” she asked, running a brush through her hair and fixing her tie.

Alucard looked at her, his hat and sunglasses protecting his handsome features from the sun. “Boss, we’ve been going through this song and dance for what, seven years? Are you really surprised that I barged in on you while you were in the shower to tell you that I perfected the art of shoving people up the asses of cows?”

Twilight glared, not wanting to accept that Alucard had actually made a good point. “Shut up.”

“Did I hit a nerve, boss?” Alucard asked in a mocking tone as they entered Celestia’s study. “Morning, Tia! My you’re looking sexy this morning.” He phased over and sniffed her hair. “And is that a new perfume I’m smelling?”

Celestia’s eyebrow twitched, but she forced a smile nonetheless, “Yes, Alucard, yes it is. Now kindly go jump off a cliff and stay there.” Celestia’s angelic smile never wavered, even as Twilight snickered from behind Alucard.

Alucard grinned and licked Celestia’s neck very slowly and sensually. “You taste so good. I am positively throbbing right now.” His right hand came up and rubbed her thigh. “I know you want me, Tia.” he moved his toothy maw next to her ear. “How about giving the boss her first lesson in sex ed?” he whispered before licking her ear.

Twilight facepalmed again and flopped down into a nearby beanbag chair, sighing in exasperation. Celestia’s smile dropped, even as her golden aura of telekinesis picked Alucard up and impaled him to a specially made set of spikes on the wall, all but crucifying him on the enchanted spikes.

Even as he coughed up blood, Alucard let off a very satisfied groan. “Ah… And there’s the climax. You’re so kinky, Tia.” he grinned at her. “Not gonna finish up with a kiss?” Even if he couldn’t move, he could still talk.

Celestia rolled her eyes and levitated over a hunk of raw beef, still dripping with blood, and shoved it into Alucard’s mouth. “No kiss for you, Alucard. Now kindly shut up, I’m trying to teach.”

Alucard muttered something against the beef before sighing contentedly as he sucked the blood from it while chewing it. He still gave Celestia a lecherous wink.

Celestia at this point had turned away, and had already begun instructing Twilight on the finer points of shielding magic. “- and so this theory allows for an Aetherial or an Immortal like me to greatly amplify the strength of a shield by simply running the background mana pattern through an additional thaumaturgical matrix. This means that it isn’t simply an instant cast spell, though it does add magnitudes of power, and the longer the preparation time, the more powerful it becomes, by an exponential amount.”

Twilight nodded and scribbled down the explanation in her notebook, annotating her textbook with minor comments based on Celestia’s version. “Fascinating…” she mumbled, a glow of magenta surrounding her hands as she generated a weak shield, then focused as the shield became steadily thicker and more opaque. Twilight grinned, proud of herself for generating a perfect example of Professor Haywire’s Exponential Shielding Theory.

“Nerds!” Alucard jeered in a mocking tone, having finished the beef. “Hey, Tia. Teach her how to give a good blowjob. I volunteer to be the lucky guy that gets head from a goddess.”

Immediately, twin beams light struck Alucard in the groin, the first being a simple heat ray from Celestia, the second one being a concussive burst from Twilight. Both student and teacher cried out as one, “SHUT UP ALUCARD!”

Twilight huffed as she bit into her sandwich, glaring at Alucard. “Honestly, Alucard, ever since I hit puberty your stupid jokes have only gotten worse. I mean seriously, teaching blowjobs? Remember when you actually had to disguise your lechery back when I was ten? What even happened to you? Jeez, it’s like your brain got replaced by your balls!”

Alucard chuckled after swallowing a piece of the death row inmate he’d been fed. “Boss, I’ll be honest. You’re gonna be a bombshell when you’re older. Why not learn how to take advantage of it early? Besides, I was a statue with blue balls for 1500 years. All of this is centuries of sexual tension getting vented.”

“..... Fair point…” Twilight muttered, blushing and looking away, embarrassed. She continued eating while reviewing her notes, both from Celestia’s lessons and her extracurricular activities. Since she only saw Celestia about once per week, this resulted in quite a very large amount of extra notes.

She sifted through the pages while she ate, scanning the pages and cross-referencing them with the rather ominous tome of magic she had managed to find in the archives.

“So, anything interesting?” Alucard asked as he gnawed on his meal’s skull. He was curious about that ominous book she’d found. Something about black magic or something.

“Well, if my math is all correct, and I’m certain that it is… I think I may have just created a spell that allows me to drain the magic of any incoming attack and funnel it into my own reserves to either be assimilated over time or be redirected back at the opposing caster,” Twilight explained, tapping her pencil against the papers and re-checking the equations over and over again in her mind.

“Sounds interesting,” Alucard said with a shrug before biting open the skull and licking at the brain. “But you could probably use it for other stuff too. Maybe kill someone with it.” He gave her a toothy grin, blood dripping from his lips.

Twilight stared at Alucard in horror, eyes wide, “What!? No! That’s a horrible idea! Why would I ever do that!?”

“Lot’s of reasons,” Alucard shrugged. “Protect someone, protect yourself, take what they’ve got, maybe just ‘cause they pissed you off. Or maybe you just felt like killing someone.”

“I would never kill someone like that! Magic is everything to everyone on Equestria! It’s incredibly disrespectful and horrifying to even think about draining someone’s magic until they die!”

Alucard chuckled darkly, a sliver of his former personality shining through. “What about after they’re dead, master?”

Twilight paused and tapped her chin in thought, “Well… okay, I guess that’s less terrible, but it’s still sorta… disrespectful…”

“No one important gives a fuck about respecting a corpse,” Alucard said, biting into his meal’s brain. “To me, the dead are just food.”

“I can see that,” Twilight deadpanned at Alucard, casting a pointed look at the disembodied skull currently serving as food, “anyway, on that point, I also found a minor ritual–nothing special, just a chant and a few hand motions– that forces a corpse’s magic out of their soul and into the body, allowing someone to absorb the magic just by consuming the corpse, or by absorbing the magic, though both methods are horribly inefficient.”

“Why not just drink the blood?” Alucard asked as though it were the simplest solution in the world. “I absorb power by drinking blood.” He licked his lips clean. “Blood is the currency of the soul, the vehicle of life. Blood is the medium through which life may be transferred. To drink blood is to take the essence of a soul into one’s self and steal everything that defines them.” he took another bite. “That’s what I heard anyway. Long time ago.”

Twilight’s eyes narrowed as she began scribbling away at a sheet of paper, models and arcane circles springing from her mind to the sheets and sheets of paper she began filling out. “Hmmm… if I change this factor of the matrix, then add another layer to the ritual circle for compression, and then…” she rambled on and on as she worked, sandwich lying to the side and long forgotten. After nearly an hour of scribbling, Twilight finally bolted upright, holding out her hand, glowing with crimson illusory flames.

“So what’s up with the light show?” Alucard asked, polishing off his meal and starting to lick up the stray blood that had fallen while he was eating. “Don’t look all that impressive,” he said as he slipped under the table. “Starting to get a landing strip, by the way. Little kinky, boss.”

Immediately, Twilight slapped Alucard with her glowing hand and drew some of the massive amount of magic contained in his blackened soul to the surface, filling the vampire’s blood with a rather staggering amount of magic, an effect akin to chugging down seven 5-hour Energy’s in approximately half a second. Twilight’s second reaction was to tug down her pleated skirt and shriek in embarrassment. “DAMMIT ALUCARD, STOP LOOKING AT MY CROTCH WHEN YOU KNOW I’M NOT WEARING PANTIES!”

Alucard laughed from his place on the ground. “Imagine if you had screamed that in a diner or something. Boy would that be embarrassing, huh? And it looks like the carpet matches the drapes too.”

Twilight groaned in frustration and summoned forth a robe from the depths of her closet, fastening it around her neck and hiding her normal clothing under its black folds. She huffed and shook her head, once more in her scientific train of thought, “If you must know, that light show was me turning that ‘ritual’ into a decently complex spell that allows me to force a recently dead corpse’s soul into releasing its magic into the blood, then allowing that magic to compress into a saturated clump inside the blood, thus negating the need to consume the entire corpse if one only desires the magic.”

“Planning to use that yourself, boss?” Alucard asked. “And you really should be more daring in how you dress. Try to turn some heads and raise some dicks to attention. Give the boys somethin’ to jack off to!”

Twilight blushed and kicked Alucard in the face, eyes glowing in embarrassed rage. “Shut up, dammit!” She turned away and stormed over to her bed and flopped down, telekinetically turning her ordinarily neat and ordered bookshelves into a massive set of walls around her bed, turning it into a book fort.

Alucard grinned and turned into mist to slip between the books and reformed under her bed, waiting for her start falling asleep. Twilight, however, had only begun reading, a small orb of light hovering around her as the light from the sun began waning. Her brow twitched as a thought came to her, prompting her to scribble out a note to herself. “Note to self: Buy another desk lamp and another extension cord so I can wire it to my bedpost,” she narrated, using her specially modified diction spell to full effect.

As the sun set upon Canterlot, a small gaggle of well dressed youths congregated outside Twilight’s tower/study/laboratory. As the group organized, the tallest and seemingly oldest moved to each person and handed them all identical robes and masks, already dressed in the same outfit. The figure spoke, voice disguised under layers of enchantments, “Alright, ladies and gentlemen, you know why we’re all here tonight, yes?”

A chorus of nods went around as each and every person there equipped their disguises. As one, they spoke, “Kill the Sparkle and her servant, then take her place.”

“Good. Then we all know the plan?”

Another round of nods.

“Let’s move out, then.”

Twilight remained unaware of the plotting outside her tower even as she continued to study long into the night. Finally, at about three in the morning, she decided to clear off her bed and go to sleep, slapping Alucard with a cage spell as she settled in for the night. “Yes, I knew you were down there, Alucard. You’ve only been doing that trick for the last three years.” With that, she snuggled into her pillow and quickly fell asleep, sighing in contentment.

Alucard snorted and settled in for the night too. He knew damn well that he wasn’t going anywhere. “Take all the fun out of it. Fun Nazi…” His ears perked up about ten minutes later as he heard footsteps downstairs. “What the?” Straining his ears, he listened closer.

Downstairs, the shady group of youths crept around Twilight’s foyer, placing around magical traps and sabotaging various minor projects she had lying around. A few times, malicious snickers broke out but were instantly silenced as the murderous group of students continued their work.

Eyes narrowing, Alucard turned into a mist and slipped between the floorboards, reforming in the shadows downstairs. Deciding not to take chances, he began shifting his form as the sigils on his gloves glowed. “Releasing Control Art Restriction System Levels Three… Two… One…”

Immediately, the lookout of the group fell to the ground, clutching their heart as it seized up in terror. The rest of them whirled around, searching wildly for the source of the terrifying aura.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Twilight smiled in her sleep and rolled over.

A few more of the belligerents passed out from sheer terror while the rest of them charged up offensive and detection spells.

Alucard allowed himself to be seen. “Approval of Situation A recognized. Commencing the Cromwell Invocation.” He moved his hands so that he seemed to be peering through a window from darkness. “Ability restrictions lifted for limited use until the enemy has been rendered silent.” Multiple red eyes appeared from the shadows under his coat as he grinned wickedly at the intruders.

The leader of the group immediately screeched out, “KILL THE FREAK!” and let loose with a volley of piercing and incendiary spells, screaming all the while. The rest of them took this as a cue to let loose as well, flashes of multicolored light ripping across the foyer to slam directly into Alucard’s grinning form.

Alucard allowed himself to be perforated by the spells and fell to the floor in a bloody mess, only to quickly start chuckling darkly. “Dogs…” He slowly stood as he regenerated. “I cannot be killed by dogs. Good try though.” Opening wide, he lunged forward and sank his teeth into the nearest one’s throat and threw the figure over himself, tearing the head off in the process.

The rest of the group screamed in terror and began heading for the door, firing spells wildly in the process. Upstairs, Twilight’s clenched her eyes in annoyance, futilely trying to sleep through the noise.

Alucard’s speed was leagues above that of his prey, and he flitted about the tower a blur of motion, tearing apart the intruders with his bare hands, the noise enough to possibly bring his master down to investigate.

Twilight finally bolted upright and screamed in frustration, teleporting downstairs and belting out, “ALUCARD WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU… doing… down… heeeeereeWHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WHY IS THERE SO MUCH BLOOD!?”

“Intruders, master!” Alucard snapped as he tore another in half before noticing the last going for Twilight. Twilight screeched in panic before blindly firing out a spell, a lance of magic whipping out, only to be batted away and a beam spell returned.

Twilight instinctively ducked and whipped her hand out at the spell, absorbing the magic and redirecting it back at her aggressor, who barely dodged, her mask and hood shredding off from the sheer force of the redirected spell.

“F-Fortuna!?” Twilight stammered, staring at the face of one of her former classmates back in Magic Kindergarten.

“Sparkle…” The other aetherial hissed, glaring at Twilight with all the hate she could muster.

Twilight narrowed her eyes in confusion, “W-what are you even doing here? I thought you were back in the Academy!”

Fortuna snorted in disdain and directed a haughty look at Twilight, “That’s why I should have been Celestia’s student instead of you. You’re just so clueless and you never had any kind of head for court politics. Really, if I kill you now, I’d just be saving you from being taken advantage of by some asshole noble.” The aetherial pointed a glowing fist at Twilight, “So prepare to die, Twilight Sparkle!”

Before she could unleash her spell, Fortuna’s chest exploded outward in a spray of blood that covered Twilight’s front and face as Alucard’s left hand came through, clenching her heart. “You attacked a vampire in the middle of the night, head on, and threatened my master on top of that. Did you really think I would let you live?! Foolish little girl!” Gripping her shoulder with his right hand, he leaned down and opened his mouth to bite into her neck.

“Alucard, wait!” Twilight cried out, holding up a hand shrouded in red flames. She grinned maliciously, “This is a perfect opportunity to test out my new spell!”

Alucard looked at her and closed his mouth in a grin as he chuckled. “As you wish, my master.”

Twilight walked up to Fortuna’s still cooling corpse and pressed her glowing hand to the other woman’s chest, chanting a few arcane words and drawing out a shimmering orb of crimson blood, practically steaming with mana. As the orb coalesced in her hand, she brought the golf ball sized wad to her mouth and slipped it between her lips, grimacing at the coppery taste and swallowing fitfully.

“Blech! Eugh! Blood tastes terrible!” Twilight spat, even as her body took on a cerulean glow similar to Fortuna’s own magic color. As she hacked and spat, a spot of magenta formed on her back and swiftly overtook the cerulean, dissipating away and leaving Twilight feeling as if she had just taken a triple shot of espresso laced with adrenaline.

Alucard smirked. “How do you feel, master? More powerful?” He bit into Fortuna’s neck and drank up the rest of her blood.

Twilight shuddered and wiped her lips off on her pajamas, “Well, other than a little sick to my stomach, yes, I do feel more powerful. The spell worked, I think. I still need to test if there’ll be any unwanted side effects, though…”

Alucard chuckled. “There are nine more bodies to test it on, master. Their power is yours for the taking.”

Twilight paused and looked around, contemplating the merits. “W-well… I suppose it couldn’t hurt…” Her hand lit up again as she walked from body to body, taking a tiny orb of blood from each corpse until she had nine orbs of blood surrounding her. Finally, she stopped and brought each one to her lips, swallowing them whole, one by one, until she finished the ninth one and all but ran to her kitchen to slam down a glass of water. “Euuuugh! Disgusting!”

Alucard chuckled as he walked into the kitchen. “I bet it’ll grow on you, that coppery tang. Feel stronger?” He lifted his hand and lowered his pinkie and ring fingers as his glove sigil glowed, the blood flowing from the remaining bodies into his own.

“A lot more, but these guys weren’t as powerful as Fortuna was… still a good power boost though…” Twilight murmured, staring at the corpses. “I suppose I’ll need to call the police in the morning…”

“Just let me handle the bodies,” Alucard said. “No one else knows they’re here. So let’s allow them to be written off as missing persons. Besides. I’m feeling hungry after using all that power.”

“....” Twilight shifted uncomfortably, warring opinions causing her an undue amount of stress. “W-well…. I… guess?” She dropped her face into her palms, “Whatever, do what you want. I just don’t want to see it so I have some plausible deniability.”

Grinning, Alucard set to work devouring the now bloodless corpses. After about 30 minutes, he finished up Fortuna’s body and stood. “Well that was interesting. Master?”

Twilight merely groaned from her spot on the ground, the ache of ten other souls’ worth of mana making itself known as her magical conduits expanded uncomfortably. “Get me painkiller, Alucard. I can’t move. At all.”

Going into the bathroom, Alucard got some painkillers and some water from the kitchen before going to his ailing master and helping her sit up to take the medicine. “Tell me, master. Did you enjoy it? Did you enjoy the thrill of stealing your rivals’ power for your own?”

Twilight mumbled, “I shouldn’t have… but I did… I really did…” Sighing, she mewled plaintively and reached up to Alucard, “Carry me back to bed?”

Alucard grinned and picked his tired master up carefully, carrying her up to her bedroom and tucking her in. “You should feel better with some rest, master. I’ll clean up the rest of the mess downstairs and get everything back in place.”

“Thanks…” Twilight mumbled sleepily, “Y’know, you’re not such a bad guy after all…” With that, she fell asleep, dreaming of crushing her enemies, seeing them driven before her, and hearing the lamentations of their women.

Author's Note

Aetherial: the humanized version of unicorns. They have pointed ears, and their eyes glow when they use magic.