My Little PONEY: The parody from hell

Author's notes: Surprise muthafuckas! You are about to read the second chapter of this politically incorrect, racist, sexist, jewish, faggot story! I bet you are all super excited for more of this cheap Encyclopedia Dramatica ripoff.

...

Not.

DISCLAIMER: Be fucking glad I don't own MLP, or the show would have less friendship and more unbirth. Just sayin'.

Deep in the bowels of the ancient Castle of the Royal Sisters situated in the hellish landscape that was the Everfree forest, an evil black Alicorn sat in front of her laptop and stared intensively at the screen, weaving together her next deliciously evil masterplan while leaning in closer to her work, her ass-brown stool with shitty lumbar support creaking loudly. Tissue paper was scattered across the room, along with several bottles of Lubriderm. The alicorn typed frantically, her nostrils breathing in the cocaine haze that hung heavily in the room.

Mary-Sue had an little Alicorn OC, its coat was as black as ebony...

Suddenly, she screamed in frustration at her work and flipped the table, sending her computer and several rolls of paper flying around.

"Damn it!" Mooning Nightmare bellowed and gave a nearby manticore a cardiac arrest. "Why can't I write well anymore? It's like my literary balls have dried up!" She growled in irritation. "How the hell am I supposed to finish my awesome flawless self-insert at this rate?"

An evil light grew in her eye. "Of course. A little story to clear my head. A little... Erotic story."

She put the table and laptop back in position using her magic and laid her front hooves on the keyboard, eager to write. Nothing happened. She groaned and stared at the screen in furor.

"Damn it," she growled, "I'm terrible at sex stuff!" She looked at the screen blankly. "Maybe if I close my eyes and let my hooves do the work... Yeah!" Grinning in satisfaction, Mooning Nightmare closed her eyes and soon felt her hooves move on their own accord.

"I must have some great subconsious erotica in the old noggin," she said to herself. After a while of typing she opened her eyes to see what she had written. When she saw, her eyes went wide as dinner plates and her jaw hung loose.

Twilight Sparkle's immaculate flanks glistened in the sunlight with the water from the sprinkler, her perfectly shaped plot bulging and straining to escape the tiny piece of sexy lingerie underwear she wore.

"Oh mistress Mooning," she moaned. "You are so incredibly attractive and so much more of a mare than Molestia and can do anything she can only better. I'll let you recharge my mana pool any day."

"OH MY GOD!" screamed Mooning Nightmare and quickly deleted the document. "Wow, um... I sure am glad no one was around to see that." She cleared her throat. "That Twilight bitch. Always foiling my plans and... Uh..."

Sighing, she streched her hooves. "Okay, time to try this again. I better censor myself- that was very disturbing."

It was a hot summer's night in Devil's Canyon New Mexico, the latest site of Miley Cyrus's triple abortion celebration. However, this is not a story of teen whore's demonic abortions, but rather one of a most particular pony, princess Molestia, and her disgusting whore of a girlfriend.

And this…is her story.

"Hi Molestia!" said Twilight Sparkle the COW WHORE BITCH.

"HI!" said Molestia.

And then she raped her.

Sadly her miniscule baby penis could barely penetrate Twilight's anus, and soon she became flaccid due to her own gayness and collapsed in a pile of her own urine and feces to cry like the PATHETIC WORM CHILD FILTH POT SHIT that she was.

"Wow," said Twilight the CUM BITCH as she pulled her torn panties back up. "Somehow that was almost disappointing."

"I am a worthless disgrace of a mare compared to my awesome enemy Mooning Nightmare, who will crush all life in this galaxy and lie with the holy virgin herself," said Molestia. "As I breathe, I inhale the breath of fetid death and exhale nothing but swamp gas, burning the eyes, the decaying filth of ages. Fallen am I from the necrotic underbelly of the worst ethnic ghetto, sprung from the dead bodies of vagrant crack whores and the dead eyes of murderers and rapists. I am nothing, I am less than filth. I am the fly that lands on the seed and blood soaked breast of headless Kali as she lies with a retarded nigger."

Then she killed herself.

"I am a toilet slut," said Twilight THAT FILTHY DISGUSTING WHORE.

"Ha ha!" Mooning Nightmare laughed. "Take that Molestia, and your incredibly ugly whore of a girlfriend too!" She took a look around the room.

Then she went on Facebook and looked up Twilight's spring break album.

I have a jar of dirt

presents

the continuation no one wanted but the author still wrote to flip the bird at everything innocent and holy

MY LITTLE PONEY: THE PARODY FROM HELL

Chapter 2

...

Fukken dramatic.

"Twilight babe?"

"Hm?"

Rainbow Dash flew closer to the lavender mare as she and the others trotted through the Everfree forest and landed beside her, fully intent on seducing her even after the little Tellytubby incident (which Rainbow was willing to forgive; after all, she knew first hand what hormones did to total bookworm cuties like Twi).

"So," the cyan mare began, "I've been thinking lately..."

"Oh really?" Twilight said with a sarcasm-laden voice. "I thought it was beyond your mental capacity."

Rainbow ignored that comment and shuffled closer to the subject to her desires. "I was thinking, it must be awfully stressful, knowing that the fate of Equestria is in your hands..."

"Yes, I'm leading a bunch of mismatched rejects belonging to a bad comedy show or an italian political party through what looks like the nine layers of hell to stop a supervillain with an anal fetish, all in the name of a futa bitch with the power of moving a nuclear furnace across the sky on a daily basis. I don't know where my life got so fucked up along the way."

"After this whole ordeal is over, how about you and I... Get to know each other?" She leant in closer to Twilight's ear and whispered: "Working out some stress?"

The unicorn turned towards Rainbow. "You know, you could just ask me up front if I want to fuck you instead of being cliché-ass suggestive," she deadpanned.

The pegasus became hopeful. "So you'll accept?"

"No."

"Aw c'mon," the cyan mare licked her lips and wiggled herself even closer to Twilight. "What do you like to do?"

The unicorn sighed in frustration but quickly developed a devious smile. Perhaps by playing her cards right, she could avoid the lesbian mare for at least a while. "Alright, I'll play your little game. What do you want?"

Rainbow adopted a sultry tone of voice and ran a hoof across Twilight's face. "I was thinking about bringing you back home with me babe, have a nice make out session in the sofa, with a movie of your choice... You'd like a movie?"

"Yes," Twilight stated matter-of-factly, "I do enjoy watching male asian gay cock porn."

Rainbow shivered at the thought but carried on anyway. She's a mare on a mission, after all. "After that, we'd continue on into bed, where we'd consummate ourselves to our passions..."

"I like that imagery," Twilight continued unabated. "Kind of like I enjoy pornographic My Little Pony related fan art. Especially if it involves Braeburn and Soarin."

Rainbow became even more disturbed. "An- and we'd have some romantic music-"

"Indeed. Good for sucking stallion dick."

"Uh... And- and... Ah, fuck it," Rainbow fumed and flew towards the back of the group. "This isn't over, babe." Twilight merely chuckled in a very evil fashion.

A bit further back, Rarity and Pinkie Pie were briskly following the group, keeping their eyes peeled for any threats to spring out of the forest unexpectedly and drag them into the tree line to rape the shit out of them. A bit too concentrated, in fact: Pinkie Pie walked straight into Rarity's flank and bowled her over. The unicorn brushed some dirt off and gazed upon Pinkie sourly.

"Watch where you're walking nigga."

Pinkie perked up at the insult and turned around. "Hey, watchu say, nigga?"

Watch closely. You are about to experience a nigga moment. Whatever defines the nigga moment is sudden outburst of aggresive behavior towards another negro man, making them behave like an irrational, self-destructive individual. I.E., like a nigga.

The mares both pulled out Glocks and stared at each other with hate-filled eyes, aiming their guns onto each other's faces. Rarity squinted.

"What didja say, bitch nigga?"

"Ya squeeze it, nigga!"

Nigga moments are unpredictable, but they all end up bad. If they had a rating, nigga moments would be the third leading killers of black men behind pork chops and FEMA. That's a fact.

The mares continued insulting each other until the nigga moment hit the climax. The guns fired, spraying lead and death all over the area; trees shattered, unfortunate animals caught in the crossfire were turned to swiss cheese in seconds and debris was thrown around everywhere. Finally, the Glocks clicked empty.

"Hey wait man, wait!" Pinkie raised her smoking pistol in defeat. "This is stupid!"

"Yeah," Rarity lowered her gun. "Let's just walk away and go on with our business."

And so they did.

The group arrived at the banks of a rushing river. The waters were raging across the current, the thundering sound of waves crashing against each other drowning out the tortured screams of the nearby unfortunate souls. The river was made of blood by the way.

"What the fuck is this," Twilight grumbled. "There's no way we can cross this."

"Fluttershy and me could carry you over," Rainbow suggested. The lavender mare shook her head.

"No, the river is protected by a plot device. We can't fly over." She scratched her chin with a hoof. "We must obviously find and trigger the proper quicktime event to cross it."

The red river started to boil. The ponies gasped as a massive sea serpent (penis) suddenly shot out of the water: the creature (penis) was at least ten times their size, glistening purple scales rippling across his toned body. The serpent (penis) looked somewhat alike Freddie Mercury, except with blonde hair. His fingers were long and adorned with sharp claws, which he carefully retracted so as to not scratch his massively pulsating, erect cock he held in his hand. I mean seriously, it was huge. Snooki would have a hard time sucking it.

Considering all the wierd shit everypony had seen today, they simply shrugged off the fact that a sea serpent (penis) greeted them.

"Who are you?" The strangely submissive creature (penis) whimpered and cowered, cradling his cock closer to his body in a futile attempt to shield it. Because it was to big. "Go away! I already confessed I'm gay! I can't handle any more hate!"

"Whoa easy there sugarcube," Applejack comforted the wailing homosexual. "What happened?"

The serpent (penis) sighed. "Well here I was, chillaxing in the river, minding my own fucking business, when this alicorn bitch threatens to violate me in the anus if I didn't let her pass!" He straightened his hair. "Naturally my homosexual side took over and I told her that didn't sound too bad, so instead she told me that she would spread asinine lies about me having both cancer and AIDS to my past aquaintances!" As he narrated, he made dramatic gestures with his arms and body, his ginormous penis gyrating in tact with his storytelling. Big dick playa. Big dick baby.

"So I let her past," the sobbing serpent (pe- oh, you get the point) continued, "but the ungrateful slut merely laughed at me and called me such terrible things... She said I was the lovechild of mexican ghetto whores and secretely bi jewish skinheads with baby wangs, before ripping of half my moustache!" He pointed towards the hairy stub on his face. "And now I just lay here by the river, masturbating alone in my despair!" The serpent started sobbing, his salty tears dripping into the river and poisoning the various species of sweet water fish living there, since they are not supposed to ingest salt in such quantities. It was tragic.

Rarity straightened her DC cap and stared dramatically at the poor moustache remains. "Ain't leaving no nigga in the shit foo. Time for Pimp my 'Stache. Nigga."

Applejack raised an eyebrow and threw in an obligatory racist remark. "Don't seem like ya negros to share or give willingly. More like stealin'."

"Only bikes, muthafucka."

Pinkie offered her a pair of scissors she had pulled out of her vagina. The unicorn approached the poor serpent and prompty cut off a piece of her tail, which she stitched onto his face. The serpent's face immediately brightened.

"Oh thank you! I cannot possibly repay you-"

"Oh Steeeven!" A rough voice called out.

Everyone gasped as another serpent emerged from the water. This one had green scales but no hair, having shaved it off a while ago. His body was much more muscular than Steven's and covered with ugly scars and the occasional lewd sexual tattoos. His eyes glowed a malevolent dark blue, an obvious sign that he had been possesed by Mooning Nightmare. Also his penis was the size of a very sharpened pencil.

"How ya doing, you fucking prune!" The newly arrived serpent shouted in a very white and obnoxious voice, a wide grin covering his face. "Found any more faggoty friends?"

"B- Bernie?!"

"Sup, fag," Bernie turned towards the ponies. "Oh look, gay boy found himself some butt budies. Except they're not, cause they're female! HA!" Everyone facepalmed at Bernie's retarded comment because he's retarded.

Twilight eyed him suspiciously. "Steven, who's this dickhead?"

"That's Dr. Dickhead to you young lady," retorted the skinhead serpent.

"What the fuck-" began Twilight, but Steven interrupted her.

"Bernie? But, you should be in prison!"

"Oh yeah," the retard laughed. "But I clawed my way out of hell just for you, and to evade the homo assfuckers in the showers. You are my opposite, my negative, my nemesis, and I shall not rest until a thousand worms devour your flesh."

Everyone gasped. "For serious!"

"I am the anti Christ."

"Oh give me a break," groaned Twilight. "And I'm Barack fucking Hussein fucking Obama."

"You would invoke the black Jesus's name here! How dare you!"

Everyone gaped as Bernie's inhaled a huge breath of air. Evil satanic light began to glow around him, motes of blood red evil floating in ever increasingly fast circles around him. The ground shook as Bernie's jaw unhinged. Something dark, amorphous and evil spewed out of it!

"SHIT FUCK JEW WAR DICK HOLE CHEESESQUINTY EYED YAM BAG CHINAMAN WART NIGGER NOSTRIL RAPING NAIL SHITTING TERRORIST SAND NIGGER PIT LICKING GAY AIDS CUNT WAXER!"

The ponies' ears almost exploded. "AaAAGHgGH!" Their heads rang and their vision spun. Their brains felt like they was going to blow up. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy projectile vomited.

"What the fuck just happened?" Asked Twilight.

Shivering, Rainbow Dash wiped away some vomit from her mouth. "Ah... The race hate... So strong... So offensive."

Only two mares seemed unaffected by Bernie's verbal assault; Pinkie seemed completely oblivious to what had just happened and Rarity...

Rarity was furious.

The negro mare approached the skinhead serpent with slow, deliberate steps. Her entire body was quivering with anger, making the ground around them starting to shake again under the ponies' hooves. Bernie nervously moved back from Rarity when he saw her face; it was bright red like a baboon's ass, steam leaking out of her ears and nostrils like a pressure cooker.

"What did ya say... Nigga?"

"Uh..."

"WHAT DIDJA SAY, NIGGA?!"

Rarity dragged Bernie down to face her. His eyes widened in terror as the mare inhaled deeply.

She unleashed the power.

"FUCK YOU BITCH ASS PUSSY ASS NIGGA! I'LL BEAT THE MOTHERFUCKING CRAP OUT OF YOU NIGGA! FUCKING WHITE ASS PUSSY GET HIS ASS HANDLED TO HIM IN DA HOOD NIGGA! MOTHERFUCKING RACIST SHIT MOTHERFUCKER BITCH ASS NIGGA!"

Blood poured out of Bernie's ears and eyes, his pitiful screams for mercy piercing the night as he flailed around wildly; not even the most hardcore redneck can survive a full-on verbal assault from an angry black person.

Rarity jumped in the air and brough her hoof up to the skies. An enormous ball of energy shaped like a black fist materialized around it. It was AIDS, it was Ebola. It was whiplash and SID, it was broken bones and shattered dreams, 50 Cent and gunshots; it was religious intolerance and ethnic purity. It was despair and black holes and the nightmares of small children ages one through five. Everyone covered their eyes.

Rarity cannonballed through the air straight for Bernie, trailing racial sensitivity behind her. She brought her hoof to bear in a straight trajectory for Bernie's face, who uselessly tried to cover his face. Time seemed to slow down as the air parted beneath her.

"NYUKKA PAAAAUUUUUWNCH!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The world exploded in a blast of energy and Kool-Aid. Rarity's hoof hit Bernie's face with the force of a thousand suns and pulverised it, the only remains being a thick red mist exploding across the forest. Everything in an area of two miles was annihilated; trees snapped and fell, animals were blown away by the gale-force winds and the other ponies including Steven had to dig their appendages into the ground, trying desperately to hold on against the Nigga Punch blast.

After several agonizing, world-shattering seconds, the blast finally died down.

Holy crap, I managed to write something!

Don't worry (maybe). I have more chapters coming up soon.

What will happen next? Will Rarity use her newfound nigga powers for good? Will the Mane Six catch Mooning Nightmare? Will the evil alicorn manage to stop them? Is Molestia raping someone?

All that, and more, in the next chapter of MY LITTLE PONEY: THE PARODY FROM HELL!