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Big Trouble for Eddie-san!! The Sinister Sorceress Trixie/The Trouble with Trixie
Day 2 of Eddie's Modern Life .
While Eddie was quietly meditating on the porch of Sweet Apple Acres, when he was interrupted by a tapping on his shoulder.
"Sorry, I'm a little bit busy right now, so--" Eddie started before he saw the mare in front of him.
She was wearing a white shirt, pink socks and had light blue hair, periwinkle fur, and purple eyes.
Eddie began to gape in shock, but suddenly he stopped himself. "Then again, whatever I'm doing can't be as important as your problem. " he replied.
" I think there might be a Timberwolf attack in the Everfree forest." She explained, panicked.
Quickly, Eddie leaped from the porch and ran off towards the forest, as the unicorn smirked to herself.
Meanwhile in the forest, Eddie realized something:
"Wait a minute...of course there would be a Timberwolf attack here--THEY LIVE HERE!!"
"...why do I feel like I've been tricked?"
In an instant, a beam of energy shot through the trees and pierced Eddie clear through the stomach, knocking him to the ground.
The mare from earlier, a unicorn, stepped out from the underbrush, smirking.
"At last, the great and powerful Sorceress Trixie has claimed her prize. Such a shame that I had to kill him, though." The mare replied.
But at that point, a green energy flashed around Eddie's body and engulfed him in a blinding light. When the dust cleared, Eddie was now standing up as though nothing had happened.
But now, he looked like a black and green coyote.
"HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?! I SHOT YOU STRAIGHT THROUGH; YOU SHOULD BE DEAD!!" Trixie screamed.
"Well, you missed the vital parts, so I was able to regenerate my body. In fact, I don't think that you know what you're getting yourself into by fighting me. In fact, I think a little song will explain everything."
"Oh, and the name is Slick E. Coyote." Slick then cleared his throat, and began to sing.
After the song was over, Slick had to pay all of the backup singers.
When that was all said and done, Slick ran up to Trixie and punted her clean away. She sailed a good 22 yards before skidding to the ground.
"This isn't over; not by a long shot." Trixie vowed as she climbed into her shower.
Location: Lyra Residence; Guest bedroom
Still, nothing big has happened.
Then again, that pony called ‘Lyra’ did allow me to reside at her dwelling. But I’m not certain that counts as ‘big’.
I think, Maybe I’ll go see if there’s a bar in this (dare I say it)...’one-horse’ town.
Fuck...that joke was just way too obvious.
Anyway, I climb quickly and quietly out the window and hop down to the ground. As soon as that’s taken care of, I race around, trying to find a bar. So far, NO good. That’s a first.
Then, I spot this barn at least several miles from my location; I’ll admit--it’s pretty far away, but I can see lights from inside. That must mean a party.
And where there’s a party, there’s a KEG!! And where there’s a keg, there’s BEER!!...or SODA, which might actually be better, considering that if I wanna be a hero, I can’t be drunk off my ass.
With a resolvent ‘TO THE BARN!!’, I race off in a cobalt-blue streak.
When I arrive inside the barn, I see multiple townsfolk; some are dancing, some are drinking from frothy mugs, which I KNOW for a fact aren’t filled with water, no matter WHAT 4Kids’ edits say.
Then, I spot a couple of stools in front of the counter. I stalk over to the counter and order an orange soda.
“Eh, we’ll see what’s in stock,” replies the bartender, the orange blonde pony from two months ago.
“Who loves orange soda?”
I swivel my stool around. “Rev loves orange soda. Who wants to know?”
“Iras Cadmus wants to know. I thought I was the only pony who actually wasn’t goofy about cider in this town. And you are…?”
“Well, it’s pretty killer to meet you, Rev Runner.” she replies with a small smile. “So what’s a boss dude like you doin’ in a mundane little hamlet like this?”
She’s using euphemisms from the ‘80s and the ‘90s!! I’m starting to like this girl even more.
“A few years ago, I ran away from home because my old man was a drunk and my mom was his main target other than me.” I reply. “What’s your story?”
“Same as yours, mister speed-demon.” she countered. “Speaking of speed, I saw how you snagged that baby from its stroller 2 months ago. Pretty cool.”
This, of course, happened a month ago. Now it's Spring, which means the...(sigh)...Grand Galloping Gala.
I don't understand why I have to go anyway. It's just gonna be a bunch of hoity-toity stuck-up snobs gawking at me, a simple 'commoner'.
I hate people who act like they're better than everyone else.
Author's Note
Fun Fact: Iras Cadmus. Spell it backwards and see what you get.
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He's He~ere!! Enter the Transmorphing Stranger/ A New Hero in Town
My name is Eddie Fairchild; I’m 16 years old and I originally lived in Brooklyn, NY. That other voice you heard was my best friend, Aryanne. She’s a little dim sometimes, but she means well. She'll come up in the story later.
Oh, and that last line at the end? That would be my cousin Travis. He always tries to help me out, even if he knows that he can’t.
I don’t like to think much about my home life; mostly because my parents were pretty negligent…I’m surprised that they hadn’t been arrested.
Due to my parents’ negligent nature, the only comfort I found at home was in comic books and cartoons—(not your basic, namby-pamby nonsense, stuff that you’d think was bad at first glance, but after watching, you’d see that it was actually pretty good)—shows like Rocko’s Modern Life, Rugrats, Steven Spielberg Presents Tiny Toon Adventures, Steven Spielberg Presents Animaniacs, and Loonatics Unleashed.
Truth be told, Loonatics Unleashed was my first exposure to the Looney Tunes franchise, and it was pretty interesting, or as my cousin Travis would put it, ‘totally bonzo’! (‘Bonzo’ is his word for ‘awesome’. ) The characters I really liked were ‘Ace’, ‘Tech E.’ , and ‘Rev Runner’, though I was particularly fond of their original names: ‘Buzz Bunny’, ‘Slick E. Coyote’, and ‘Roadster’.
After losing 2 ½ minutes of sleep due to my father’s drunken, angry ramblings and my mother’s tearful shock, I quietly begged to myself for someone to take me and my only friends away from this harsh, cruel place; to be somewhere better.
When that was done, I proceeded to quietly cry myself to sleep.
Look, I know I shouldn’t be crying at my age (especially considering how dad could get if he saw somebody crying when he was sober; imagine if he came in, drunk as a mule, and saw or heard me crying!), but I’m living through a harsh existence here—cut me some slack, people.
Eventually, I was woken up—but not by my alarm clock or the angry hung-over grunts and groans of my old man.
I was woken by a sound that seemed so… foreign to me. Travis told me about it in a letter he wrote to me once: it was…the sound of birds, chirping.
It was beautiful.
Of course, my attention had now been diverted to the strange, glowing auras surrounding my body: the auras flashed goldenrod, then green, and then a cool cobalt blue.
Weird.
Of course, as I turned around, there were seven funny-looking creatures staring back at me. The thing is, they all look human, and yet they don’t. One was purple with lavender eyes, had a horn coming out of her forehead (oddly enough, I could tell it was a female due to the, um…mammary glands), and wore a red, knee-length skirt, black shoes, white socks that went up her legs, a long-sleeved white button-down shirt, a black sweater-vest, and a dark purple tie. She also had long indigo hair with a single pink streak.
Another wore a blank t-shirt under a brown jacket. She had orange skin, blond hair, and wore a cowboy hat (I think it’s called a ‘Stetson’; not really too sure.—Ed.) with two muddy brown boots. The third wore a blue headband, white fingerless gloves, blue-and-white striped overalls, had poufy pink hair and baby-blue eyes. Luckily, I am an expert in resisting cute things, because if cartoons have taught me anything, it’s that nothing is that cute without some sort of ulterior motives behind its actions.
The fourth had light-pink hair, yellow fur and two wings from her back, emerald eyes and wore a green sweater with khaki pants. As I glanced towards her, she quickly turned away and I honestly swore I could see her blushing. The fifth also had a horn; she was completely powder-white except for her curled & coifed mane, which was a dark purple. She also had
The sixth was sky blue, had 2 wings on her back that stuck out of her vest which was blue on the back with a shiny ‘lightning-bolt’ emblem and white on the front, though the most distinguishing features about her were her multicolored mane and her magenta eyes.
The last was somewhat shorter than the others; he had green plates sticking out of his head and trailing down his back; he wore a pair of sunglasses, black fingerless gloves, and a purple jacket with a white letter ‘S’ on the bottom right.
This was truly an odd-looking bunch.
Regular P.O.V.
Eddie couldn’t help but stare at the strange creatures standing before him. He had no knowledge of whether or not they were friendly.
Before Eddie could further assess his situation, he suddenly heard panicked cries for help in the distance.
“I guess it’s, um…’time to rev and roll’?” Eddie said, halfheartedly. Suddenly, the blue aura began to flash around him and engulf him in a blazing blue energy.
Eventually, the energy died down, and in Eddie’s place stood a black roadrunner with blue feet, blue tail feathers, blue fists, a blue beak, and a blue plume on top of his head.
“OH-HO, YEAH, BABY!! LET’S CRANK IT TO EE-LEVENNNNN!!!!” yelled the bird-like creature, giving an enthusiastic fist pump.
Then he turned back to his stupefied audience. “In case you’re wondering, the name’s Roadster, Rev Roadster.”
As he turned towards the direction of the terrified screams, his legs began to spin like the wheels of a Formula-1 racecar—maybe even faster!
Then, he reared back, and was gone in the blink of an eye.
The seven creatures were stunned. But the blue Pegasus was the most shocked out of them all.
“D-did you just see that?!” asked the dragon, Spike. “I mean, he was just like, ‘ZOOM!’ and then, he was gone!!!”
“There’s no way he could be faster than me!!” Rainbow Dash snapped, inciting a round of confused looks.
“What? That’s usually how things go in these kinds of stories.” she replied.
As the pony-folk carried Rev Roadster on their shoulders, he knew that he’d finally found a home for himself.
Elsewhere, from the attic window of an empty house, three truly strange creatures were looking down at this new hero.
The first one was a lavender unicorn with a purple-and-green mane; the second was a human girl with puffy orange hair; the third was a humanoid creature with fiery hair that stood straight up, wearing a strapless dress that looked like fire, and green eyes with black scleras. Compared to the other two, she looked like something out of the fiery pits of Hell.
“This creature is...impressive,” said the demonic-looking creature.
“Indeed...if we can somehow get him under our control, we could be unstoppable!!” said the human, inciting a glare from the ‘she-demon’.
“I told you already; Chrysalis will be the one to become unstoppable!! So don’t even contemplate trying to double-cross me, because I will make you regret it.” she replied.
The unicorn and the human both nodded, terrified.
Lyra was sitting with Minuette, Moondancer, and Twilight.
"So, Lyra; how are things with Rev?" asked Twilight.
"Oh, they're all right," Lyra replied. "He's a little difficult, but..."
"...he's like a little foal in the body of a grownup. It's adorable!!" Minuette added.
"Are you sure he'd want to come with you?" Moondancer asked. "He seemed pretty reluctant to come to the Gala."
"Oh, quit worrying; I'm sure he's found a way to entertain himself." Lyra retorted.
Lyra couldn't have said it better herself, because at that moment Rev was beating the mucus out of Prince Blueblood, and he was enjoying himself immensely.
"LOWLIFE SCUM!! I'M GOING TO HAVE YOU EXECUTED FOR THIS BY TOMORROW!!" Blueblood yelled.
"Yeah, well, see, I'm more of a "in-the-now" kinda guy," replied Rev. "Like for example what am I gonna eat now? What am I gonna KILL now? And in this regard, you're probably gonna be both."
"You... you won't get away with this," Blueblood choked, as Rev clutched him by the throat.
"Oh, yeah? Well, tell me something: what looks like shit, FEELS like shit, and probably ain't gonna wake up in the morning?" asked Rev.
Blueblood gulped, knowing the answer to the question.
"Is... is it me?" he asked.
"And there's the punchline. DING, DING." smirked Rev as he dealt the uptight prince into a head-on collision with the wall.
Eventually, Lyra had to go back to Ponyville, and when she did take Rev back onto the train, he was talking nonstop about what a fun time he had beating up Blueblood.
"And you were worried this would be boring!!" Lyra smiled.
Author's Note
Special thanks:
Team FourStar's"DBZ Abridged".