Chapters Said the Spider to the Horse Flies
Part 1-
FLOP! The loudest sound had made its way out of Cheerilee’s humble schoolhouse at long last. Where ever she lied that dark dusk-hour, there was now just that much more relief in Ms. Cheerilee’s system after a hint of chaos was added to her day, whether she’d actually heard it or not. Almost like a tradition that could be lived on even in the mind even during a day off like that one. With that being said, Cheerilee dozed off after several sleepless hours of that one teeny feeling of forgetting something and that must’ve been it. Magenta-toned eyelids now shut tight; she dozed off into Pony dreamland, satisfied as an Earthworm in a spacesuit, without another worry in the world.
But something was wrong. Cheerilee didn’t realize it in the half conscious state she was in, but the schoolhouse had been broken into earlier that PD Day, and that loud slap against what sounded like Pony-Pavement wasn’t exactly the sound of the Breaking and Entry beginning. It was the sound of filly-flesh hitting a classroom floor, leaving large, visible cracks within the radius of where the filly itself landed. After a moment of kissing cracked flooring, the child finally raised her snout off the ground and did what any knowledgeable filly would do: Curse it on everyone else, of course! Even if they weren’t even there.
“Gaww…” Yelled Diamond Tiara, spitting out the crunched up pieces of flooring from her mouth.
“Stupid teacher, leaving her stapler right in my desk-pacing path. I mean, what teacher in the right mind puts a Stapler right in the middle of her desk anyway? Who is she protecting it from?”
Diamond Tiara began to regain her footing, successfully finding a nice bi-pedal pose while still mumbling out assorted insults to Ponies she hadn’t even seen in several days since the 3 Day weekend had began the previous Friday.
“At least THESE ones are uncensored. Props to Feather Weight for thes-“
Wait, WHAT?
She stopped herself midsentence after she realized what foul words were coming out of her snout. Crumpling up the photos until they combusted at the expense of her frustration, she flopped down into the desk where she’d always sat during school hours. She didn’t know why exactly this spot was the one she chose. Was it because from there she could get a nice view of Applebloom’s test for cheating? Maybe it was because it was close enough to the front so that she could both etch down notes from the old Chalkboard AND get a nice view of Cheerilee so that the threatening drawings of her had just that much more detail? Or maybe it was because it was the best place to pluck Dinky Doo’s feathers without anyone knowing the wiser. Not even she truly knew, but at a moment like that, it didn’t matter much anyway, besides the fact that she knew her best servant: Silver Spoon had a spot right next to her, for all her Fashion and Complimentary needs. But that was just during school hours, and on a night like this one, the only thing that was there to warm Tiara’s hoarse soul was the lone ray of Luna’s light beaming unto one of the classroom’s desks. Feather Weight’s Desk.
That name! That annoying, unfitting, puny excuse for a name was the only thing that was able to flash through Diamond Tiara’s mind that Monday Midnight. As she shifted positions on her desk as the spots she lied on Warmed up, all she could think of was how much him and the rest of this mutiny of a class ruined whatever chance at power she had not even a month before as the Editor in Chief of the School paper. Oh the stories she’d gotten, oh the pain that other Ponies were feeling, and all because of what she, and to a lesser extent her crew, had conjured up. It was even more sweet and juicy than any of the Apples that Tiara had ever dreamed of eating. But after what Applebloom and all her darling little pest friends had done after things were just getting good all but tore out the soul from her body, almost like they were beating a horse before it was even dead. All the work she’d gone to make everyone else does anything and everything against their will, for nothing. Especially all those photos, the best parts that weren’t even published, going to waste inside of the then-aware Ms. Cheerilee’s hidden Shredder from inside her desk. A teacher is always prepared, but still, that was just too much for Diamond to watch get ground up. Just imagining her reaction, Tiara couldn’t even begin to picture how Feather Weight was feeling after the spectacle of watching all his hard earned Pon-aroid Paper go to waste right in front of him
“Dyaghh… Feather Weight, GET OUTTA MY HEAD ALREADY.” Tiara smacked her head against the table as she called out.
But that was just it. Feather Weight’s devastation was nowhere in sight. As dumbfounding as it was to Tiara, the confusing was short lived, after she quickly found out that Feather Weight, himself, had went ahead and joined up with… THEM; the Stupid little “Cutie Mark Crusaders” and their band of Traitors. Just thinking of the trio’s names in a Mock-y voice was insulting to Tiara. Everything she’d let them have in her business: Gabby Gums Articles, Full Printer Privileges, even free Juice from old Berry Punch’s Winery, just to be taken down with them in their time of Media based demise. It had been 4 weeks since then, and now every night Tiara just found herself getting fewer and fewer hours of rest during the night, the memories of that one event playing back and forth in her head to the point of feeling like her head was stuffed with pillows that only needed but one more feather to explode. Aware of the speeding mind sights, Tiara felt as though they weren’t the causes of her insomnia. Carrying the weight of denial on her spa-smooth back, Tiara decided that she’d go to the only other place in Pony Ville that mattered at one point beside her house: The School. The very thought of staying there, however, made a Colgate-cool chill roll up her spine as fast as the Blue Pony her self’s toothpaste rubbed against her bristles.
Uhhuhuhuh… Desperate times call for desperate measures. Especially ones where you DO measure on Math day Mondays.
At least the desks were cooler than her bed, with their smooth, yet easily familiar room temperature surfaces. Almost as though their textures were like a Second bed to every pony who attended the class, including Diamond Tiara; Comfortable, yet escapeable. They ARE wood desks after all. Brown, wood desks. Almost like the colour of a Certain Mane. Feather Weight’s Mane.
Tiara barely noticed this time around. Feather Weight’s presence in her mind was the only thing that seemed to help her relax against the cold desktop’s dimly lit plane. Soon, the intensity of the relaxation began to pile up, and for the first time in what seemed like Celestia’s life time, Tiara was actually beginning to tucker out, at least a little bit. After all, with a Sleepless record like 4 Weeks, she figured she’s at least hold out as long as she could. Laying her head against the desk as carefully as Dinky Doo’s Mom had delivered her Birthday Muffins, Tiara felt as though she was about to doze off. No, not yet. Not without putting up a fight first, like the Real Mare she was hoping to be.
“Enough is enough, DT.” She complained to herself out loud.
“Feather’s just another Random Raghead like the rest of them. Hay, he even went out of his way to join the others in the end, you shouldn’t have jerks like him on your mind at all!” Tiara shifted the position of her head, facing away from the window as if there was someone looking at her.
D’oh... I really couldn’t agree more, but you have to admit there’s something about Jerks like him that just, makes you think a whole lot more than you need to. Hay, you’re thinking about him right now, I can feel it.
Her head darted back to its starting pose, aggravated.
“Pfft… Maybe about punching him, Hoof first. Besides, it’s not worth it to befriend betrayers, DT. If he doesn’t wanna waste his time with me, I’m not gonna waste my time with him.”
I don’t know about THAT. Was he wasting time when he documented EVERYTHING for you? What about all that time he ‘wasted’ by listening to your every word on the job? Were those all wastes of time? Great examples of direction on our end, sure, but not time wasters!
“Hmm… well, maybe there was SOME fun in it...” She recalled back to all the good times in those few days on the job. So many laughs, so many Ponies left in the dust, and all because of team work. But then it all ended.
“…Notice the was! Feather Weight wasn’t even affected by the grating of his papers, as if there were nothing to him. He just went back to taking public- pictures after I was done with him. He didn’t even care… all he cares about is getting pictures of that yellow bellied Spider Mane!”
It was true. The only thing that Diamond Tiara hated more than seeing Ponies use her, and her duties for the Fun of it, was the sight of the newfound Local hero: The Spectacular Spider Mane, whom began appearing shortly after Pony Ville’s clashing with the dreaded Tumblr-verse, only to save the day. The web headed Whiner seemed to be the only thing that Bone-Thin Feather Weight paid attention to ever since, and pay attention he did. Absences from school, just to see the Spider. Absences from Holiday celebrations, just to see the spider. Even times when as soon as somepony began to cry out for help in the distance, he up and left, saying nothing as he plunged himself out of his desk and out the door, just to see the Spider, As if he knew that he’d be there every time. And sure enough, he was, every time. Tiara herself, while dumbfounded, never really understood why or how an affixation with a costumed creep like Spider Mane lead Feather Weight to him every chance there was. For all she knew, Feather Weight WAS Spider Mane.
“Fshh.” Tiara giggled to herself at the very idea.
“That Tan Twig? He could probably even hold his Dinky Camera lenses, let alone that web-stuff.”
Uncontrollably, Tiara’s head shifted, as if her mind was taking over.
You never know, DT. Feather can be a VERY secretive little foal, I mean, just look at his report card- Oh wait, you can’t. He’s never shown anyone, so no one, not even you would be able to judge whether he becomes the next Doctor Whooves, or the next Ditzy Doo.
“First off, it’s DERPY HOOVES, and that’s as canon as Princess Celestia is a perv.... What ever Floats you Brainboat though... Second, your point?”
You know, there might be more to him than you think, other than his slender legs, and his vigorously styled Mane, and his amazing camera skills and his cutey-wootey little buck tooth and plot and his-
Tiara bashed her hoof against the table, blushing angrily at the thoughts of her own mind.
…
MY POINT IS, maybe there’s more to that twig than meets the eye. Who knows? Maybe your seeing things. Maybe your eyes just haven’t been treated right lately. I bet you don’t even remember the last time you treated them to one of Miss Pinkie’s cupcakes, do you?
“PINKIE’S CUPCAKES?!?” Tiara wasn’t exactly over her thoughts from earlier.
“It might just be the after thoughts of Twilight Sparkle’s encounter with the Tumblr-verse, BUT… PINKIE’S CUPCAKES, I MEAN WH- Why… How would you even thin- just… DUGHHHH. This is all just too much. My mind acting like the slab of Pony Jerky she is, flashbacks to the Dark Tumblr Times, and new, weird thoughts about Feather Weight!”
That make your Heart thump. Listen! Buh-buh-Buuh-Buh. BU-BU-BUUH-BUH! Hey Hey Hey! You have a CRUSH.
That last tease. It was it.
Tiara, now silent, lifted herself out of the desk seat in the calmest fashion her boiling blood could carry. A hearty twitch in her eye, Tiara marched her filly body in the direction of the door which she’d already broken into. A wiggle in her step, she turned around just back to the desk as if she’d forgotten something. Something important, even though the same Evil Smile that had emerged on her face moments ago was still intact. She uttered through her teeth as she twistedly stared at the empty table.
“Whoops. Almost forgot…"
Her desk flew through the door with a godly force that would rival that of Jes-orse. As it’s wooden shards flew into the night sky, landing somewhere in the dim spots where Diamond Tiara now marched in the grass, Tiara’s distorted facial expression decided to settle itself in, and Tiara was more than happy to have it with her. Town was only moments away, even at walking distance as Tiara had plainly seen. Someone in Pony Ville could help. Someone had the power to rid the World of Spider Mane once and for all. Feather Weight was going to be all hers. Tiara stood up on her hind legs, and began to inch her way into town as devastating as she could make it look at an after Midnight hour, knowing just who to ask.
“To the Library.” She grinned.
Said the Spider to the Horse Flies
Part 2-
With the close of the last page in Volume 35 of her Encyclo-pony-a set, Twilight Sparkle had finally done it. Every Page of every book in the infamous series was done after 4 years of collecting. Dozens of Bits gotten by working her purple hooves to the bone used to get at least one copy of every installment in the series, even getting duplicates and 1st editions, had been more worth it than Twilight imagined. Of course her Baby Dragon Assistant Spike was in on the whole thing; she couldn’t type up an E-Bay account with Hooves, after all. With Spike’s opposable fingers, and both her Browsing Skills and Connections with Sweet Apple Acres for a job, they were an atomic collecting team, not to be reckoned with by any pony anywhere. As exhilarating as the snooping for the scriptures themselves was, it was nothing in comparison to Twilight’s favourite part: The Reading. All that information that people would have fought over in time, right at the expense of Twilight’s hoof tips. There wasn’t a single night after the faithful one when her collection was complete that her mind wasn’t soaking up any of the 35 volumes, almost as if her Pony-Brain had the absorbency of one of Rarity’s infamous new Sponge-Jewels. Tonight at last, after she’d reached both full Brain Sponge capacity and full exhaustion, she’d read the last words of the last volume. She couldn’t have been gladder to make it through a book in her life.
“Done!” Twilight Sparkle exclaimed to the Library surrounding her. Spike was the first to hear the yelling, storming down the stairs and stopping in front of Twilight as if he was about to file one of his trade mark Beauty Sleep complaints.
“Twilight! You-…” He stopped mid-sentence, realizing that this time it was actually Good news by the way Twilight was creepily grinning to him. He sighed, as he tried to resist having his soul stared into by the eyes of a Pony who hadn’t slept in over 20 hours.
“You finally finished the books, huh Twilight?”
Twilight’s tiredness was no longer able to hold back the excitement. She began to shake in place, until finally the Pinkie Pie inside her blew out at full force.
“YESSSSSSSS-ow!” Twilight leaped as hard and high as her Unicorn hooves could, and apparently physics wanted her horn to hit itself into the ceiling.
“How does Pinkie do it…?” She tried to pull her horn out of the soft, dust paneling without making even more holes.
“It figures, the one thing Encyclopedia’s AREN’T able to explain.”
As she continued to maneuver her horn’s way out of the roof, Spike quickly flashed his way into the closet.
“Don’t worry Twilight! Spike is here to save you!” The little Purple-Green Dragon called to his mentor, holding out a Butterfly net in Triumph, awaiting Twilight’s fall. He clenched the Butterfly net with both hands, hoping that at least his grip would help save the hopeless effort. He waited, standing in his tracks, for the Pony-sized weight to fall into the net, but, nothing way coming. He looked up.
“Huh?” No sign of Twilight besides the crumbling Horn-hole. There was no way she could’ve fallen; the only thump heard that night was from Cheerilee’s School House a few doors down, but that was probably just drunk old Berry Punch again and her hangover hullabaloos like every Monday night. As Spike just began to figure it out, a Twinkling sensation began to shine from his crested head. Twilight, slowly descending her way down from the ceiling was using her powerful Unicorn Magic from the same horn that poked its way up there in the first place, landing on the wooden library floor in front of the still net wielding reptile. Smiling sheepishly, Twilight knew that right then if Spike had a hoof, it wouldn’t be anywhere besides his face, but instead, he put the net over his head with a forgiving shrug. It was a very subtle gesture. Frustrated and a sign of repressing anger, yes, but subtle; a lot like the kinds of reactions Twilight read through in the chapters of Encyclo-pony-a’s 29th volume that she’d read through several nights before. Twilights legs began to wobble as she dramatically stood up on her hind legs, swooning at the very thought of the Book-Set. Quickly, Spike untangled the strings of the net from his head crests and held the net’s material out in an extended fashion, even readier than before to catch the Purple Pony. Twilight fell backwards, letting gravity play its course like she had in experiments before that day, but this time a notch or two less for the purpose of Science. Landing safely in Spike’s net catch, Twilight let her limbs and head rest as she sighed, still thinking about the juicy information that was barely still able to meet her mind’s capacity.
“Thank you, Spike!” She said cheerfully to her Dragon Assistant as she patted his scaly forehead. Unable to resist holding a Pony Sized Weight like Twilight happened to be and the head pat being the final straw, Spike collapsed, bringing the Colourful unicorn down with him.
“You’re welcome… Twilight.” He grunted out from underneath Twilights back as she rose up to see the damage done on the poor Dragon Baby, or at least what was left of him. Standing up on her hind legs again, she examined Spike’s newly flattened back, and began to scoop him out of being a Pancake. Grabbing his tail, she blew him back up as if his spine had gone through some kind of Balloonification. Spike slowly began to reflate with Twilights Pony Air, returning to his normal size like the Dragon-tot every pony knew and loved. For a moment, he stood in place, checking to see if every piece of him was back to being bulgy again, until he finally looked at Twilight with a confused feeling, beginning a question that swept him.
“How did you-“
“Volume 12, Chapters 45 and 46: All about Anatomy. Probably one of my favourite chapters in the entire book. Maybe in the entire 2-Book miniseries!” She Grinned at the very thought, interrupting Spike for what felt like the 400th time that night alone. Rubbing her chin with her left hoof, she gave a thought towards that sentence as she continued talking.
“Definitely not my favorite ones in the whole series, though, no Siree-smiles, that has the absolute honor of going to Volume 4’s awesome Chapters 12 and 45, not that they’re related to each other very much other than how many times they both they the word: Hole, which is 4 by the way, but one actually tells how to Dig proper holes in topsoil which was actually REALLY interesting, and I’ll tell you Spike, that no hole I ever dig from now on will ever be the same as before, no more messiness and no more crooked edges, D’OH, the perfection of those holes just makes me want to dance! Nanana- NOW moving on to chapter 45’s Bluff stuff, it… uh-Uhhhhhh…” Twilight felt her knees go weak again, and was about to fall over into Spike’s then clenched hands, but before she could act, Spike made quick-sure that the act wouldn’t go on any further.
“Ah, ah ah! Dragon hands weren’t made to catch, Twilight!” He called out as he propped her back up onto her hind hooves, cooperating with her stiff limbs as well as Rigor Mortis would have.
“Sorry…” The Mystic Pony apologized innocently hoping Spike’s forgiveness level hadn’t dropped after two consecutive half-faints into his Dragon Claws.
“It’s fine, Twilight, it’s fine. What else are assistants for?” He reassured Twilight in as great a graceful tone as his Four Thirty AM voice could sound.
“Right, Spike! And rest assured, there will be no more Pinkie-Rarity hybrid behavior from this night on. I’m sure the neighbors lost just as much sleep as you did from our Dusk Dilemmas, anyway.” Twilight stated in a worried tone as she opened the library blinds to peer outside, only to see someone eyeing her from across the way in one of the local houses. Who else but Pinkie Pie, complete with her own Four Thirty AM death-stare. The Pink Pony, not moving a single muscle, slowly began to retract behind the window pan below until the outside-night was once again pink free. Twilight, creeped out as any pony would be after seeing THAT, backed away from the window.
“Okay… Uhm… Spike!” She called for her dragon assistant. Like a Barney Coloured flash, Spike rushed away from re stacking Twilight’s multiple volumes, giving a sincere Royal Guard solute as he screeched to a halt in front of her.
“Yessir. Ma’am- pony… sir!”
“You’re free to sleep anytime now, best lieutenant Spike! Atten-hut!” Twilight played along, calling back to her Encyclopedia studies once again. This time the chapter discussing Top Secret, Leaked commands given to Celestia’s royal guards by the princess herself. Spike Marched up the stairs, chest puffed out at its fullest as though all this imitation army drilling was getting to him.
“Oh, and Spike.”
“Yes… Twilight…?” Spike could hardly hold in his chubby gut much longer.
“At ease.”
Spike deflated back into his rounded self. Twilight, amused by the whole little charade switched reality back in against the Army talk.
“And don’t worry, Spike! We’ll get right to the Princess’s letter in the morning.”
“Time to get down to the REAL business.” She sighed to herself as she realized that tonight would yet again be a sleepless night. That being said, the night was still a long ways from ending, and the sooner all these volumes of Twilight’s precious Pony-pedias were organized, the more quality sleep next to her quality helper there would be. Humming a familiar tune, she began stacking up the books number by number under her left shoulder.
“Spidermane, Spidermane. Does whatever a Spider can. Twilight picks, up a book. Tomorrow Spike will take a look, at theeeeeem, nothing will topple them.” Twilight placed the last book atop the enourmous stack of every volume that was before lying on the ground, now in a pile that would be able to rival the height of Pinkie’s infamous Mmm cake, marzipan and all, and Twilight hadn’t even broken a sweat.
“That only took a few minutes! Way better than last night’s record! I guess it’s true what every pony says after all! A good song and hearty hooves get the job done THAT better! I guess all there is to do now is go upstairs and hope nothing else happens as I place my hoove onto the library’s first-“
“?”
No more anger from the young Pony. Only tears, rolling down her Pink Cheek. Beating Twilight to the task, Diamond Tiara collapsed onto the Library’s wooden panel flooring, limply. There was something more Wrong here than Twilight imagined.
“Ms. Sparkle?” Tiara asked Twilight in a barely audible snivel as she uncoiled her mouth from the Ball she’d rolled herself up into.
“I kn-n-now you and the other ponies don’t like me… but-” Tiara’s tears burst out as she made one last attempt at speech before one last attempt at even opening her mouth was an impossible task.
“You’re the only one who can help me.”
This wasn’t going anywhere good.
Said the Spider to the Horse Flies
Part 3-
Even though Featherweight would never, ever bring it up for the simple sake of it, he and pretty much everyone in the Equestrian Land knew that his skills with a thread were amazing, even spectacular. Weaving through Pony Ville skies with ease as his Needle body contorted into proper shapes to cover more ground is a lesser time was the twiggy Colt’s specialty, after all. These skills were what built the boy into what he had become in recent days as they were. Sure, the messes he more or less made himself were all cleaned up after the dreaded invasion by the Tumblr Verse, but Pony Ville wasn’t exactly the safest haven in Equestria either; it was a perfect place for Underground Criminals, regardless of skills of course, to make their moves because no maned nor coated pony around was aware, sometimes even the Princess and her legion in Canter Lot. That was, everyone except for one Brave Blue-Red bearing Pony.
The Spectacular Spider Mane did his best to live up to name, every day he could including this Early Pony Ville morn. The hour seemed right to make a quick inspection of the mini-city, as yes, Ponies were only beginning to wake up around him, but in a place like Equestria there was never a time where something wasn’t going down. Aside from Crazy Ms. Pinkie Pie, Featherweight knew that waking up in the morning wasn’t the most pleasurable experience for Ponies around. Morning Stress was bound to happen anywhere, causing Wagon Crashes, Random Acts of Road Rage and sometimes straight up insults to injury right in front of the young Pony’s white eyes across Pony Ville rooftops. Speaking of Rooftops, it seemed like a good time to switch things up before anyone began to suspect the Super Hero’s activities at the moment. With the flick of a wrist, the Spider-Pony Fusion shot a stream out to the tall clock tower across from the Candy Shop he was currently hunching over like an armed security Camera, and began to maneuver his way across. As he crawled from one end of his Webbing to another, Featherweight began to think, as the motion would actually take longer than he thought; Town Hall’s Clock Tower was a ways away. The whole situation he had just begun to encounter seemed off. Sure, he’d made his way across rooftops like this all the time, as the Pony Ville roofs were usually too low to Swing across which was a motion that Featherweight longed to make ever since he’d try to on the first day of his Power Endeavour, but still, crawling across roofs was usually a sight from his point of view, and carried a cooling breeze with it. Was it the Sun Rise? Maybe… The Spectacular Spiderman was often distracted by Celestia’s morning lighting anyway though, because it reminded him a lot of what his life used to be; Peaceful, Serene and as Worry free as Celestia was every morning when she made the Sphere of light rise from the depths of Equestria’s Sky.
Up until the one, Tiny Spider from the Tumblr-verse’s murky depths had to come along and change everything that is. Lives were lost, Wills were lost, and Ponies were struck as even ones who had never seen a Royal Guard’s sword before were armed for whatever battle Celestia’s Forces were ready to rid of. Everyone and their mother was engaged in battle with the strange alternate Ponies, and despite the Real Equestria’s Brass Will to survive, the Tumblr verse’s mindless desires, whether they be for Destruction or Simple Apples, were often impossible to fulfill. All seemed lost until someone brought up the Sacred Elements of Harmony, to which the Princess agreed without a moment of thought. As quick as a Stallion, Celestia went to Pony Ville to gather up the 6 Saviours who had saved Equestria now at least 3 Significant times, so naturally with an apocalyptic force like this, they were more than Willing to give a helping Hoof. Lined up outside the Anomaly of a Dimensional Hole, the 6 Ponies readied themselves and their respective Elements to destroy whatever it was, and whoever it was causing so much Havoc.
“Alright Girls! Role call!” Twilight called out to the other Members of the Mane 6 over the wind blowing in through the Rip. Each of them stood tall as they prepared to call their names.
“Twilight Sparkle! The Element of Magic!”
“Pinkie Pie! The Element of Laughter! Ha HA!
“Applejack! The Element of Honesty!”
“Miss Rarity! The most fabulous-“
The White Unicorn called her name, but was met with a few unamused stares. Twilight called her out before it was too late to move on.
“Now is really not the time for that!” Twilight called out, wanting to waste no time before anything else got out of the Rip.
“Uh- I mean, Rarity! The Element of Generosity!”
“Uhm… Fluttershy. The Element of Kindness.”
“And last, but not least, Rainbow Dash! The Hard Gut, Kick Butt Bearer of the Element of Loyalty! Friends over foes any day of the week, you stupid space hole!” The final pony gave her name aloud as Twilight shook her head in satisfaction by the Rainbow Pegasus’s speech.
“Well put Rainbow, but now there’s no more time to lose! The ‘Space Hole’ is about ready to strike again, so it’s time for the power of Equestria to Strike it back. Anytime you gals ar-”
Twilight froze in place as suddenly as an Egg timer, and the others stood in front of the gape with gapes of their own. Even though each and every one of the 6 were ready to fire their Great elemental energy and seal the whole thing up then and there, something came up right in front of their faces. In awe, they stood as the Hole’s bright light began to dim before their eyes as if something was making an effort to cover it themselves. After a few seconds of watching it almost seal up on itself, someone in the Mane 6 had to speak up and shatter the barrier of silence as if it was getting in the way of their elemental Bond. Pinkie Pie opened her muzzle first, as always.
“What WAS that? Not even the Sparkly Elements are able to build walls out of nowhere! Only Special ponies can do that, and that Hole was not a Special Pony. It wasn’t even Pony shaped except for maybe the bottom that looked a bit like Rainbow Dash’s wing, but even then it doesn’t explain Random White Walls that pop up all Crazy WAZY!”
“Oh my… I hope we didn’t do something wrong. Is everyone still okay, cause I don’t know if I’d like if the Elements backfired on some pony…?” Fluttershy averted her gaze for a second as she looked into the Jewel of her Element, and asked out a little reassurance for herself.
“Yeah, don’t worry Fluttershy we’re all cool. Not as Cool as me, but still. This wall is giving my coolness a run for its money!”
The other Ponies peered up at Rainbow Dash for a second or two. Stating something was as cool as she was? This must have been REALLY cool.
“Now we don’t have to worry about draining the Elements’ power an extra time thanks to this thing.” Rainbow Dash flew up and gave the Beige wall a check pat, but to her surprise it felt different than she thought it would, colliding with her Hoof unlike any wall she’d ever pat before, and with all the check taps her and Fluttershy often had to fly up and do, this one was way different. There wasn’t any echoing from its inside, nor was there and kind of rebound that would normally make her hooves hurt after the fact, far from it. It was spongy and sticky, almost like ones out of Pinkie Pie’s infamous Cupcake recipes, but this gunk wasn’t Cupcakes. It didn’t even smell like Dessert. Rainbow flashed her face away from the gunk as fast as possible before the odor burned the rest of her nose’s insides out.
“What is this?”
The fishiness was getting to every pony in the mane 6 circle. No Ramblings from Twilight were even ready to spill out, no assorted leaks from Pinkie, no comments on fluidity and cleanliness of the situation from top to tap, nothing out of Applejack’s mouth to be found other than maybe the moisture from having her jaw gape open for so long at what just happened, and of course Fluttershy, who probably wouldn’t have pressures into talking anyway, but this time even her silence was as ominous as a Faucet in the middle of the Forest. As for Rainbow Dash, there wasn’t really much of a chance to let anything leak out into this ocean of stares at the Web like wall anyway.
Web like…
Twilight forgot about the astonishment for a second as a weird little thought came up, almost like a bite, which was a coincidence on its own, but Bug jokes could wait for that same emotion forgetting second. Making good use of her magic, Twilight sprouted a little chunk of the substance off the wall, trying her best to not leave a hole, but looking at the wall’s thickness, there probably wasn’t much to worry about. Maybe just a little breeze, but anything else would never be able to withstand its way through the Grey Goop Barrier’s rough, tough build.
“This is impossible. It’s the most unlikely thing to ever happen even in Equestria!” Twilight began to examine the piece of material in its dull coloured, grey coated glory until it finally began to strike her like an Icing glob.
“It’s… it’s… fascinating!” Twilight shifted around back to the other five now completely free of the wall’s discoloured hypnotism.
“Girls. I don’t know how it happened or where something like this would even spray from-“
“Spray?” Rarity gawked out cutting Twilight’s sentence into hay bits.
“That can’t be right Twilight! I mean, sure this wall might be Ew-y and gooey from Pony touch to handle, but there isn’t anything in the entire Universe that can SPRAY out something like this.”
“Hoho, Rarity…” Twilight came back. “You’re leaning against it.”
The marshmallow coated unicorn pulled away, pulling some of her hair out in the process before she let out a high pitched scream, but that was a normal Rarity freak out if Twilight ever saw one. She continued.
“I don’t quite know how to explain this girls, in fact as of right now there’s no way, but calling back to some of my late night studies, this goop came to mind as none other than one thing. Spider web.”
But now was not the time to be gazing into the sunrise. Feather Weight had gotten so relaxed into his memories that the Web line wasn’t even half crossed since he began thinking. Then again, what did it matter anyway? Besides the 6 Equestrian heroes there wasn’t a single foal or filly in the world that enjoyed the Spider’s company; even then his actions weren’t exactly noticed by them as much as they were then. In Ponyville’s eyes an insect like him was only good for the most intense like sealing the portal anyway. Not many a Pony ever took much of a second glance at the things around town he did to just make ponies smile; Sure Rainbow Dash had seen his Silky clouds made from scratch to be a temporary replacement if the Pegasus had missed a few on Weather Duty, and maybe Fluttershy liked the little houses he ‘Helped’ build during the night, but besides the Web Wall to the Tumblr-verse, that was about it. Pinkie never seemed to care too much for his Web Cakes, but then again, neither did he, but that was beside the point. Sometimes Feather Weight knew it would just be better to hang the suit up, and make sure Celestia’s Armed guards drop both the suspicions and the felonies, and those were only after 2 weeks on the job.
Aw well, after pulling off a stunt like sealing the Tumblr-Portal-thing anyway, Featherweight knew there was a responsibility on his costumed back now, and all hanging up the costume now would do is get him back into being plain old Feather Weight. Young, meek, thin, bucktoothed Feather Weight, catering to that Crab-apple of a Filly that would make a Discorded Caterpillar proud: Diamond Tiara. Being a red and blue Spider wasn’t so bad anyway. At least no one would be able to know who broke their entrances; Feather Weight hardly even knew that Window personally. And the Town Hall Double doors, well, it’s probably better off saying that their fate was worse than the wood chipper.
The Spider took a few peaks around the town as he sat atop Town hall with all of what there was in Equestria in view. It really was amazing to see at such a height, and for one split second, Featherweight finally knew the definition of Beauty to Pony Villars. It was just the right moment to see the oranges of the sun be reflected over all that there was to see from the Cloudy Town above to the Green Grass below that lead into the endless Everfree forest. Even the Trees from Sweet Apple acres seemed to glow. For the first time in his life, Featherweight knew what it was like to fly like the Pegasi he’d seen every single day. That feeling of Freshness was one of the best things the young Pony had felt in a while, and if there was ever any time that he needed a splash like that, it was then. But then again, maybe then wasn’t the time after all. Besides if he were a Pegasi, what use would there be in being Spider Mane? With wings it would be something more like: Silk Fly Guy, in all his pointless glory. As funny as a Black and Grey web spraying, high flying pony would look, even in the mind, it’s not like any pony would be laughing once he made their bottom jaws his Fist’s Bag. No Pony was there to hear the thoughts anyway, but after a thought like that, it was fine. As a matter of fact, there was no pony around then.
Anywhere.
Not a single thing was flying it way around Pony Ville’s neither streets nor skies. Or in the distant Appleloosa which is from what Featherweight heard was genuinely crowded at that time of year. There wasn’t even a single thing flying around Cloudsdale’s seemingly white Orbit. No Ponies in sight.
They must’ve seen Featherweight stalking around the streets and warned the rest of Equestria in the process. As cool as it was to have some respect from the Townsfolk like this, Featherweight didn’t really want them to be afraid the Spider’s power either. Sure, some skulls were cracked every now and then, but violence like that was only for the finest piles of scum drifting its way past the clean dirt roads. With a long sigh, not even questioning where every pony was hiding or what they were up to, Featherweight crawled back down the building with a lump in his throat. The Guilt and Grief had weird way of getting to him. Even as he let gravity take its course as he inched his way down from the Hall’s Various Columns there were voices in his head reminding him of the ways he’d driven the town he’d once saved into cowering in front of him.
“You insignificant Insect. The only Damsel in Distress you’d be able to save is yourself.” A bit Sarcastic for Head Voices, but okay…
“That’s right Mr. Red and Blue pants Panzy, I’m mocking Yo- *FSSHHHHHH*- YOU!”
That was no Head Voice. Unknowing of what kind of abomination was standing behind his Pony Butt, Featherweight spun around to see what it was making that Electronic, yet somehow familiar speech at him. Not that he was expecting much, but what it was that stood before him was unlike any enemy he’d ever been around. It wasn’t any normal crook; it wasn’t even a Pony. Standing Twice as Tall as Featherweight on his hind legs, and carrying a mane twice as shiny, almost metallic, a monster with a girth twice the size of his as well stood before the Amazing Spider Mane as if it weren’t even alive at all. Arms limp to its sides, Legs in a fixed position that not even Thin Feather’s buffed out of proportion father: Roid Rage couldn’t bend, among other bits made the creature, whatever it was, have a kind of toughness to it, but lifelessness at the same time. It was creepy, and the sooner it was out of not only the Spider’s white eyes, but all of Pony Ville’s as well, the better. An image began to fade itself up onto the horrible thing’s face. Again, reminding Featherweight of something so familiar it was like he saw it every day.
“Stupid Machine! I thought she said it would be lag free…” The person in the screen’s image must have been controlling this beast. A robot? That WAS a new one. The controller was having a hard time, too. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. Featherweight felt a bit relieved as the thing kept speaking, clearing its throat.
“Ahem. I’m sorry Spider Mane… well not really, but still. You’re gonna have to go before any more of what I have left does. I know plenty about you, but you see, you know nothing of me.”
“Uhm… Ms. Diamond Tiara? Is that you piloting this thing?” Spider Mane asked as if he didn’t know. The Blurry screen could not hide the perpetrator’s shock. Both they and Featherweight stood looking at each other for what felt like a full few seconds in silence before the image tore its mask off in rage.
“D’OGHHHHH! How in the sweet mother of Celestia COULD YOU TELL?” Tiara was enraged. Still her Stingy self, but heated up more notches that Featherweight would ever be able to count.
“It was just a lucky guess.” The Spider thought about it for a minute, and even through the answer could be anything, even something as simple as ‘Her Dad Bought it in Canterlot’, he had a question.
“Where DID you get this thing? It’s not really you’re style to drive Robots around Pony Ville, especially Grey ones likes this. Ever thought about Pink? That would be Fabulous!” He said with sarcasm in the last part. Some humour had to get in somewhere despite how enraged she looked. The Angrier she might get, the faster she might leave, maybe, but he was a Spider Mane, not a Psychic Mane; that was Pinkie Pie’s job. As the Spider sat and readied his ears and muscles to take in Diamond Tiara’s revenge for such a comment, it was pretty obvious that Pinkie Pie wouldn’t be there to save him, or any of the other Mane 6. Sure enough, the candy coloured Filly began to Growl in front of the Arachnid Coated Colt.
“HMPHRRRRR! You think you’re SO important, huh Spider Mane? Taking my friends and family’s attention away like that. I swear… If there was anything in the entire Freakin’ land of Equestria that I’d like to take out, it’d be you.” She slowly moved closer to the lese of the Camera used to record the screen image. Even through its murkiness, Featherweight could see the steaming Filly formerly known as Diamond Tiara’s Shining new Fang in her grin.
--
Hopefully not out to Dinner.
Almost snapping her own neck with no Hooves, Tiara flashed her neck to the side.
“That’s strange… I thought I told you to shut up 3 Hours ago!”
You’re quite right. But the thing is, ‘One does not simply shut up a Brain’. Those Internet Memes are beginning to get to us now, huh?
“NO. I had NO Idea that the Internet Memes were beginning to get to us-… I mean me. What did you expect after spending so much time on the stupid sites anyway, besides getting Twilight to build us Androids like this, clopping off?”
--
Twilight…? Build Tiara a ROBOT..?
--
I dunno… you’re right I suppose. This time. This Spider Slayer is pretty awesome after all.
The Mental Filly sighed to herself as she tried to get back to get back to threatening big bugs like the Spider Jerk in front of her. Now that she was actually looking at him, there was something familiar about him, too, even with the peculiar mask. His size, his Hair, his ears. Everything that stuck out on the costumed hero also seemed to stick out in her mind. Just not before her mind could stick out first.
You know, because you just seem to crush on EVERY twig you see.
“THAT. IS. IT. Brain… you will shut up now, or I will end us both.” She yelled, eyes looking up at her Forehead with the most absolute death inducing stare that any pony would ever see, the Spider in front of her included. Diamond Tiara had never been so angry in her short life.
“In Fact…”
The Filly Grabbed the back of her Mane, pulling her head back in anticipation as a newer, even more disturbing face that was barely passable as a smile grew across her lips. Comparable with the Grinch’s, except approximately 20% more deadly.
W-wait… what are you doing…? It was a Joke, Tiara! A JOKE!
It was not enough. Will Power now all gone, Tiara whacked her head against the Dashboard of the control room she was in, making an enormous dent stretch across from it from one end to the other. It was the most powerful, raw, focused sock to the head that any pony had ever heard, and just like the flops and crashes from the previous night, the ringing of the noise flew all over Pony Ville, alleys roads and all.
Tiara wasn’t moving as her mind gave one final utter before giving out for good.
I’m Sorry, Tiara
--
It really was unlike anything Featherweight had ever seen. Uncovering his ears from the Filly’s Head Blasting, the Spectacular Spider Mane stood in awe like the Mane 6 had once before in front of him. The whole morning town inspection was something bigger than he’d ever imagined now with an Unconscious Filly’s form standing in a Bionic Screen on the front of a lifeless Robot in front of him, a betrayal by one of the Mane 6 themselves, let alone the one that seemed the most trust worthy (which would’ve explained the ‘Spark Industries’ Tag on the Robot’s Rump, but that was only the kicker). Never did the Spider think that such a thing would ever come from one of the heroes of Equestria in a Million Years. Miss Twilight Sparkle was such a nice Mare, even on Miss Cheerilee’s level. Heck she was up there with Pinkie Pie too, but now it was beginning to come into question.
Whose Idea WAS it, Tiara or Twilight?
Who wanted to be rid of him in all of Equestria, Tiara or Twilight?
Who was in favour of a Mutant-Free, Spider less World, Tiara or Twilight? As if Tiara’s outbursts from earlier weren’t enough, but even then, it was a sticky situation.
Tiara was Nuts that much was obvious now, but Twilight was always Bat-Bonkers. Corrupting the entire town over a Stuffed doll was only the start, too. Next thing anypony would know, tomorrow there could be a Crazy Pony Gliding through the air Calling herself ‘Iron Mare’, revealing her name to the world in an attempt for Super Hero level attention. Abusively impossible. Plus now his ears were ringing from the Bang of Tiara’s Dashboard. All this was enough to just make Feather Weight topple over in confusion and unload every tear he hadn’t cried. After all the days of being a Red and Blue suited lunatic, the Amazing Spider Mane’s weakness was now finally obvious. His Mind and Soul.
“That Noise…. If only it would give me just 1 second to think.”
He remembered.
“That noise.” Feather Weight stood up and began to focus his Spider Sense.
“That Beautiful Noise!” It worked. Featherweight knew exactly where the noise was coming from. He let the noise wash over his suit, letting its vibrations travel to his Radar Quality Listeners. The racket of a sound wave was now the world over Equestria itself to him. Tiara could be saved, maybe even put in a hospital if she behaved, and Twilight would be able to give some much needed answers. The whole morning might have just turned out better than he’s assumed only seconds earlier. That in mind, there was no time to lose. Tiara’s condition wasn’t getting any better in that hot, secluded cockpit, and the Spider Mane wasn’t getting any more serious in attitude. Who knows, maybe this time there would be a dash or two of Praise thrown in for saving such a young Filly. A Parade in his honor, covered in Camera Photo-Floats, and Decked with Layers upon layers of Apple Icing shaped like both Spider Webs and an Apology to him from all the new fans, JUST for the occasion.
“No…”
That last thought didn’t Feel as right as Feather Weight planned. Wanting Praise from the Smorgasbord of Ponies that lived in and around town… what was he thinking? That whole morning’s backtracking was beginning to get to his very inside thoughts, even his reasoning. He wasn’t a Crusader just to get stuff from people, especially if it had to be done by force. He was doing it to better the world for all those Ponies, and to make their lives better in ways they were never able before. Other than Pegasus, no Pony else was really able to get down balls from trees for the Local Fillies and Colts. They weren’t able to Travel to new heights without some kind of assistance like Magic or Wings, sometimes even a helping hand from other Ponies. A lot of the time they weren’t quite even able to feel the freedom of travel to and fro the Equestrian Skies against the Princess’s own will. All that and even more were enough to keep the Paper Thin Pony’s spirits afloat in the first place, and up until watching one of his ‘Closest’ Friends take a skull bash like no other inside of a far off Cockpit, incidentally coming from the back room of Twilight Sparkle’s library as if it wasn’t obvious. Besides, at the end of the day, being able to fit into as Cool, webbed, white eyed duds like the Spectacular Spider Manes was reward enough. But then wasn’t the time for much further thought. It was time to save the World for some pony besides himself for a change in those last couple hours, and the time itself was beginning to run out.
With the speed of a Scorpion, the Spectacular Spider Mane spewed one or two of his signature web lines capable of even Equestrian News in order to make this day a better one for any pony Possible. As he left, Ponies once again began to poor out of the Buildings around the site of the Robot Incident, questioning what exactly it was. Before any pony could answer, a lone note was read in front of whatever was left of the Limp Robot.
“One more robot to add to the Daily Tin Can Tower Miss Pinkie Pie has been building.
Said the Spider to the Horse Flies
Conclusion-
Tiara’s slowly began to open. Even she had to admit, that entire morning was a sketchy as what the Tumblr-Verse had done to Celestia’s Mind and Mane during the invasion from a few weeks back. At least, that was the amount of time she had remembered since… whatever it was that happened in the morning did. Was it even THAT morning anymore? Diamond Tiara’s sense of time wasn’t exactly all there yet along with the rest of her mind. What Tiara did know was a time like this was never exactly the time for thinking about time. Time here and time there, time in sentences everywhere, Tiara’s slim Patience instinct was beginning to kick back is as she squirmed on the soft, plush surface she happened to be on. A Bed with a sheet or two over her hooves. It was a well-kept one too; where ever she was, the service really knew how to make a Pony at least feel ‘Commoner Cozy’.
“What is this…?” She began to ask herself aloud. Not in Confusion, and not in annoyance either like usual. If anything her Tone was a stitch or two above Curiosity.
Not knowing how she’d gotten in a bed, or who got her there was a bit of a mind Buck, save for the warmth of her cute hoof ends. Despite all the comforts, the space she was in wasn’t exactly furnished to her Fancy. White, Porcelain Tiles making charming patterns across the bases of what were probably Walls to the left of her bed spread, and a Drawn, Green curtain covering both the Window leaching itself to the dull wall, as well as the Hangars that sat above and to the left of the set up. It was such a fishy place, but very familiar. Right as it was on the tip of her Tiara, Diamond looked down at her Front arms to see if anything was different than it was from memory. Hooves. Hey, at least she wasn’t a Black Widow Spider with a hairy just about everything-
“Spiders…” That word left a worse taste in Tiara’s mouth than Pinkamena’s Meat Cupcakes during, yet again, from the time of the Tumblr-Verse invasion, and those were Red and Salty like Feather Weight’s tears after lesson time.
“Feather Weight…” That word didn’t stick well with the Filly either. It was almost as though Eight Legged Pests and Four Hooved Freaks came Front in Front with each other like they’d spun a thread overhead. The very thought of Photo boys and Bugs was making Diamond Tiara’s mind begin to act up and hurt a tad. It couldn’t have been what she’d thought. Not in a Million Celestian Decades. The fusion of thoughts was beginning to make Tiara think of something she never had before, even during discussion and gossip with her ‘Friends’ at Cheerilee’s school like old reliable Silver Spoon. But that was it. It had to have been the concept of an Idea. She giggled to herself in Denial.
“Pfft! Nah, that can’t be true. Rich Ponies NEVER gets Ideas. Not even Bad ones. Thinking is for the people that don’t have enough dough to pay poor ponies to do it for them. Just look at ignorant… old… Twilight…”
“As long as they’re little.” She made a mockery of Fluttershy’s words in an equally atrocious voice.
“Those two Scoundrel Colts love each other more than they’d love Fillies if they had the chance. Colt Cuddlers is what they are, plain and simple.” She sighed to herself at the name knowing she hadn’t invented it.
“That Tumblr-Verse getting to me again… stopped by the Spectacular Spider Mane in all his STUPID, sweaty, costumed, thin legged, brown haired, expert maneuver ways. He’s a way better Pony than me and I even know it… but I could never show it. Not to any Pony anyway.
Just then the Candy Palette Girl noticed something on the dresser next to the Bed. A Dresser. Not too special, sure, but it was what was on top. A Note, along with a couple of Flowers sitting inside a vase, and even a stuffed animal that looked like Discord. Or at least it was supposed to be Discord. It was a quick stitch, but it looked like him at least. The sewer must have worked with what they had to make Discord so… Green.
Tiara picked up the note as a throb pulsed into her head with a shock. The whole lying in Bed thing was just getting weirder and weirder. Spiders, Skinny Colt Wannabies and Bad Discord colours aside, maybe this note would be able to answer all the questions the Filly had. That they did.
“For Diamond Tiara
As long as this isn’t your ghost reading this from beyond the Pony Grave, there are a few things I personally would like Love to get out while I still have a chance. After all, you might wake up and kick my flank anytime if you catch me of all people writing next to your bed. I am Spider Mane. I’m sure you and your mind know all about me by now like every pony else does. That’s kind of where I come in believe it or not. There a lot of Ponies around not only home here in Pony Ville, but the entire world, saying my duties besides the obvious buying of time for the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony to close the Tumblr-Verse portal are less than beneficial. To a web length’s extent, they’re all right. As of recently, I’ve been a selfish shrimp, only wanting the rewards rather than the Journeys themselves. Ponies like you deserve far more saving than I ever will, even as I put my life at risk against stupid odds on a too-often basis. For all this, I am truly sorry to not only you, but all of Pony Ville. Even the Princess herself, despite the fact she hasn’t been quite right in the head as of recently. Hay, she’s giving Screwball a run for her money… but enough about them. The noise your head mincing made that morning was enough for me to be able to find where you were. I went straight to Twilight Sparkle’s library and heard everything. She made the Robot, this is true, but you gave her all the elements needed to do it. The Money I mean. Normally, I’d be a steamed Spider, but at a time like this, like I said before, It’s hard to blame you. I’m a fool Foal, and at the rate I’m going, always will be as long as Feather Weight and I hang out all the time like this. I brought you to the Pony Ville Hospital, no charge, so that that head smash of yours didn’t leave you in TOO long of a coma. Just to clarify though, there’s nothing like what you think between me and Feather Weight. He snaps photos, and that all he snaps. There’s no UN-snapping in there at any point… but don’t get me wrong. We’re close. Anyway, I just thought I’d leave you this in case this whole thing is a blur. Anytime you need, just holler for Spidey… or call the hotline. Either way.
-Spider Mane
P.S. Speaking of Feather Weight… he’s a cool guy, actually. And I think he has something to ask you Tomorrow Morning. All these flowers are for something. See ya, Tiara!”
Tiara put the note down on the table, as well as her head against the Pillow propped up to her back board. A warmth stronger than her pillow’s very purpose was growing inside her as her face began to dust up a slight red tone at everything she’d read. She knew the feeling, and it was one she’d missed for a while. Since before the Head Conk. Since before the sleepless nights sneaking into the school. It missed her too. Her Will power was speaking once again.
I think we did it.