With nopony leaving the table for any urgent business, I began the next round without wasting any time. I reached for the stack of black cards and grabbed the one that was sitting on top. "I put _____ in the oven," I began, "And out came _____."

"Ugh..." Trixie grunted, "Puh-lease tell me we're not going on one of those streaks again..."

"Who knows..." Maud replied, emotionlessly.

"Mine's probably not gonna work," Sunset said as she slid her cards over to me, "But I still think you'll find it worthwile."

"Well, we're about to find out," I said, noticing that the others had given me their cards, as well, "I put a mouthful of potato salad in the oven and out came an overwhelming variety of cheeses. Hmmm... Interesting. I put all these decorative pillows in the oven and out came hip-hop jewels. I mean... That's not that much better than the last one. I put cock in the oven and out came wet dreams." As several ponies giggled, I tried to wrap my head around the many possibilities that combo was attempting to imply. "I put my vagina in the oven and out came a disappointing salad. Ha! That's pretty funny! I put the rhythms of Zebrica in the oven and out came pussy. Uhhh... No. And finally, I put a mopey zoo lion in the oven and out came dem crotchtitties."

"Hahaha!" Shining laughed, "What?!?"

"I'll agree, Shining," I replied, "That was rather amusing, but I'm going with my vagina and the salad."

"Great. That's mine..." Maud said, holding her hoof out towards me.

"Wait, really??" I asked.

"What about it?" the gray pony replied, giving me that blank, yet awkward, stare that I had seen her use so many times before.

"Nothing, sorry," I continued, "I just didn't expect you to come up with something like that. I assumed you and your sisters lived a rather sheltered life out on the rock farm."

"Actually, we did," Maud continued, "But once I started getting out and going to rock school, I decided that I needed to understand some of that kind of humor in order to fit in better with my classmates, because they were all mentioning it a lot."

"Oh. I just...well...never mind," I replied, using my hand to figuratively brush the subject away, "Go ahead, Sunset."

"Alright," the unicorn replied, taking the next card in her magic, "Puberty is a time of change. You might notice hair growing in new places. You might develop an interest in _____. This is normal."

"This one again?" I asked, remembering how I had drawn that card late in the game last time around.

I then heard Shining quietly let out an evil laugh, and Pinkie did something similar not too long after. This card was notorious for producing some rather repulsive results, but they usually possessed a generous amount of humor.

"You guys ready?" Sunset soon asked, to which she received six nods, "Okay, puberty is a time of change. You might notice hair growing in new places. You might develop an interest in the Milkmare of Trottingham. This is normal."

"Ha!" I exclaimed, "That's so true!"

"You might develop an interest in doing the right stuff to her nipples. This is normal." This only served to make me laugh even harder, along with Pinkie, Shining, and Starlight. I was amazed at how both this card and the previous one had come up in the perfect order, given the black card. "You might develop an interest in the moist, demanding chasm of his mouth," Sunset continued, "This is normal. Maybe. You might develop an interest in slowly easing down onto a cucumber. This is normal."

"Ouch!" Starlight said.

"You might develop an interest in Daring Do erotica. This is normal. Ha! That's probably right! You might develop an interest in...the...oh no..." she finished while giggling madly.

"What?" I asked.

It took Sunset a few more seconds to let out all her laughs before continuing. "You might develop an interest in the primal, ball-slapping sex your parents are having right now!"

"Ewww! Really??" Pinkie asked in moderate disgust.

"Hey, it's funny! That's all that matters!" Sunset replied, "Who had this one?"

"I did..." Maud replied.

As much as I wanted to mention how hilarious it felt to realize that Maud of all ponies had played that card, I decided to let it slide this time around. After all, I was happy she was finally getting in the game.

"Okay, let's see what's next," Starlight said as she took possession of the next card, "What's the new fad diet?"

"Not this," I replied, tossing Starlight my throwaway.

"This probably isn't it, either," Sunset said as she mimicked my actions.

"Neither is mine..." Maud said.

"Well, then," Starlight continued, "This should be interesting... What's the new fad diet? Immortality cream. No. Carnies. Again, no. Filling every orifice with butterscotch pudding."

"Mmmm!!!!" Pinkie mumbled, licking her lips at what I assumed was the prospect of lots of the aforementioned sweet delight.

"Doing the right thing. I guess. Dying alone and in pain. Wow, I sure hoped we'd have something better. A zesty breakfast burrito."

"I didn't realize vegetables were that zesty," I said.

Starlight then sighed. "You know, I'm sorry, I have to go with the burrito. Nothing else is all that much better."

"Yes!" Shining exclaimed, "I thought that would be too simple to work!"

As the stallion received his card, Trixie took the next one in her blue aura. "_____," she began, "It's a trap!"

I was happy that Twilight and I had kept this as a card in this version of the game. I had never seen the movie it originated in, but I knew the scene all too well. Unfortunately, I considered my choice of a white card this time around to be rather sub-par, but it was the best I had.

"Okay, let's see what we've got here," Trixie said after receiving the sixth card, "Hormone injections. It's a trap!"

"Ha!" Sunset laughed, "You got that right!"

"A squadron of moles wearing flight goggles. It's a trap. I think not. Power. It's a trap!"

"Ooooooo..." came the voices of Pinkie, Starlight, and I.

"Hmmm..." Trixie mumbled while sporting a slightly saddened expression, "I suppose that works in this scenario. Anyway, peeing a little bit. It's a trap. No. A...Hahaha!" the magician laughed, "A stray pube! It's a trap!"

"HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" Shining laughed hysterically.

"Yeah, that'd make for a twist worth talking about!" I mentioned.

"A kiss on the lips. It's a trap. That works, but a stray pube works the best, in my opinion. Who had that?"

"I did..." Maud replied.

"Wow, Maud, you're on a roll!" Pinkie said to her sister, "You have the same amount of points as I do!"

"Uh oh, this 'oughta be interesting..." Shining began after he took the next card in his magic, "What are my parents hiding from me?"

"I could think of plenty of things..." I mischievously said as I slid my card in.

"I think this is the first time I'm gonna say that my card has the best chance of winning..." Maud said. I was happy that she seemed confident in her decisions.

"Trixie hopes you're ready for this, Shining Armor..." the blue unicorn said with a half-lidded gaze as she slid her card to the stallion to her left.

"I sure hope I am, too," Shining replied, his cheeks going red with embarrassment as he got ready to read the six cards, "What are my parents hiding from me? Important news about Sapphire Shores. I think if I was a music-obsessed Twiley, that would work. Anyway, a cat so cute that your eyes roll back and your spine slides out of your anus."

"Awww...Why would they do that?" Pinkie asked.

"A sweaty, panting leather daddy."

"Hahaha!" Sunset laughed.

"Anal beads."

"Ewww!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"A ma-...pffft...Hahaha! A mating display!" This was funny enough to make Maud crack a smile while the rest of us laughed at the sheer accuracy of that card. "Okay, the last one is...Whoa...Dungeon porn."

"That's...definitely a good thing to hide from your kids..." Starlight said with a nervous expression on her face.

"Okay, who had a mating display? That was way too funny."

"Meeeeeee!!!" Pinkie cheered as she regained the lead. The party pony's competitive side made this game much more exciting.

Once Pinkie was given her card, Maud took the next one and read it. "One does not simply indulge in _____," she said in her all-too-familiar tone.

Just like with Trixie's card, this was another movie reference in which I had not seen the movie of origin. In fact, I had not seen any of the movies in the series I was referring to with that card, much to the chagrin of at least 80% of all the people I've ever met.

I gave a silent, but noticeably mischievous, laugh as I slid my card over to Maud. Once she received it and the other five, she began to read them off. "One does not simply indulge in Discord's sexual appetites," she said. This got the rest of us laughing, and I was more than tempted to say something along the lines of, 'Unless you're Fluttershy,' but since we were already in a giggling fit, I figured it was too late.

"One does not simply indulge in rising from the grave," Maud continued, "You're right. One does not simply indulge in shutting the fuck up. Maybe. There's plenty of talkative ponies out there. One does not simply indulge in a time travel paradox."

Pinkie and I then glanced at Starlight. Aside from Twilight, she was the only pony we both personally knew who had experimented with time travel.

Starlight gave us a confused look back. "What?" she asked. We didn't respond.

"One does not simply indulge in incest." This got everyone who wasn't named Pinkie or Maud giggling lightly. "One does not simply indulge in filling a stallion's anus with concrete." All of us, except the current Card Czar, cringed heavily. "A lot of these either made a lot of sense or were simply funny, but I'm gonna go with rising from the grave."

"Sweet!" Shining said, taking his Awesome Point in his magic.

"Really?" I asked Maud, "That one?"

"Read it to yourself in your head..." the mare replied. I didn't need to, though. I already knew what she was getting at.

"Awww..." Pinkie said as she looked at the next black card, "I learned the hard was that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with _____."

"Mine's gonna make too much sense," I said as I slid my card to the pony to my right.

"Same here," Sunset said.

"You two aren't the only ones," Shining said as he slid his card in.

"Okay, everyone ready?" the pink pony soon asked.

"Go ahead, Pinkie," I replied.

"Okay!" she chirped in reply, "I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with deez nuts."

"HAHAHA!!! Seriously?!?!?" I asked.

"Wow!" Shining exclaimed while chuckling.

"I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with a salty surprise. Yeah, sex ain't gonna cut it. I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with hoof painting."

"Well said," Trixie spoke.

"I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with a dollop of sour cream."

"As if the world's best baked potato wasn't enough..." Starlight said.

"I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with a dance move that's just sex. Like I said, sex ain't gonna cut it. I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with stallion scalps. Wow. Some of these were just awful. Plus, I think we all knew the winner from the start. Who had deez nuts?"

"That was me!" Starlight happily replied.

As Twilight's student placed her Awesome Point in her personal stack, I stretched my arms upward. "Hey, guys," I began, "I'm gonna take five. I need to just walk around for a bit."

"Me, too..." Maud said.

"Sounds good," Sunset said as we all ventured to random areas and did random things in preparation for another round of hilarity.

Author's Note

Here are the scores after the first 3 rounds:

Me: 1
Sunset: 4
SG: 2
Trixie: 2
Shining: 3
Maud: 4
Pinkie: 5

Also, it's true. I have not seen any Lord of the Rings movies and have only seen one Star Wars movie, Attack of the Clones, which happened 14 years ago, hence the fact that I don't know which movie the "It's a trap!" scene came from.

Go ahead, let me have it...