Salt, Anger, And Booze

Salt, Anger, and Booze
Part 3: Critical Flaw

By: Major Frostwing

Pain... That's all I felt as I slowly cracked my eyes open. Something seems to be covering my face. I slowly moved my hand up taking hold of the breathing mask on my face. What the fuck happened to me?

I looked around the room I was in. It was dark so that must mean it is night I tried to sit up only to feel a pain in my chest rocket across it. I let out a hiss as I leaned back resting my head on the pillows.

-beep- -beep- -beep-

I glanced over seeing I was hooked up to a heart monitor. I must be in a hospital then. I reached out with my arm hitting the call nurse button on the machine. I let out a small beep as I lowered my arm. Why did I feel so weak?

A few minutes later a nurse entered the room trying to be as quiet as possible. I looked at her seeing she had dark red hair and a soft pink coat of fur. "Is something wrong sir?" She asked walking up to me.

"What happened to me?" I asked in a raspy voice my throat felt so dry.

"You suffered a minor heart attack induced by an extreme fit of anxiety. We were hoping you would fill us in on how the fit was incurred." She said as I looked away from her looking at the ceiling.

"I had a heart attack... How does my heart look?" I asked as she looked over a clip board.

"No real scaring though your heart right now is really weak. You will have to remain on bed rest until your heart can recover more. If you have another panic attack it could induce another heart attack which could kill you. So right now we are using Buspirone to calm your mind and hopefully prevent another attack." She said as I nodded my head letting out a sigh.

"Thank you." I said as she smiled to me. I smiled back to her feeling how calm I actually was for once in my life. It felt good. "What's your name?" I asked her as she continued to smile at me.

"My name is Nurse Red Line. I am the nurse that helped get your heart back up and running." She said as I let out a chuckle.

"Jon." I said holding my hand out to her. She looked at it before taking hold shaking it gently.

"A pleasure to meet you Jon. Now please get some sleep you need it." I nodded leaning my head back letting sleep take me.

A few days later Twilight came to visit me along with all of her friends. Turns out they were all at least a little worried about me. Twilight was able to fill me in more about my panic attack and what had caused it. She originally thought it was due to me being in a new world but I gave her the real reason.

"So wait a darn second." Applejack interrupted as I looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "You mean to tell us that you are one of them crazies that talks to the air and spend most of their time in the loony bin?" I rolled my eyes at that little description.

"I prefer the term insane. I know there is something wrong with my head but I deal with it. Crazies as you call them think something is wrong with everyone else." I explained as I leaned back on my pillows. "And the reason I had my panic/heart attack was because they were suddenly not in my head anymore. They are the last of my friends and now they are all gone. That is what made me lose my proverbial mind." I said with a roll of my wrist..

"Darling if you had a heart attack because of figuring out that fact then what is stopping you from having another one just talking about it?" Rarity asked as I pointed at the IV bag.

"This little bag is pumping an anti anxiety drug into me that is keeping me calm and collected. It's also the reason I am not absolutely furious right now. Even though I have a damn good reason to be angry right now." I said as I looked at the heart monitor which was showing my heart rate was elevated right now but not in the danger zone just yet.

"What is making you angry now?" Rainbow asked as I clenched my hands into fists as my heart monitor picked up in pace.

"The mother fucker that took my friends away from me." I growled out as I looked down at my right hand. "I want to rip her out of my mind and put her in a body so I can cave her fucking head in. NO ONE FUCKS WITH ME AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!" I yelled as I felt pain rocket in my chest as I gripped my heart. The heart monitor was going crazy as Nurse Red Line rushed into the room.

"MAKE A HOLE!" She yelled as she ran up to my side pulling a syringe off of the heart monitor injecting it into my IV I felt my mind haze over as my heart slowed down back to a regular beat. I leaned back into my pillows feeling my body go slack. "Girls I will have to ask you to refrain from making his heart rate spike. His body can't take another heart attack in his condition." She scolded as they all nodded. Nurse Red Line looked me over still very much concerned for my safety. I smiled up to her as I closed my eyes drifting off to sleep. I just felt at peace in the whole situation... I hated it.

I woke up later that night looking at the heart monitor just listening to it beep. Fucking hate the sound it was making and then I noticed my heart rate increase. I realized that if my heart rate went to high then I would have another heart attack. The sound slowed back down as I continued to watch it. This was scary as fuck.

If I got angry I died... But I was just so angry and I have to throw it away. What was I supposed to be? What am I going to do with my life now? Just throw away all of my anger and just be a calm individual that helps society?

I let out a loud sigh as I looked away from the machine staring at the ceiling. "My whole life is... gone." I whispered out as I felt my eyes begin to burn. I heart the heart monitor spike again as I looked to it to see it only pick up the pace. I was feeling the panic set in before I reached over turning the sound off of the heart monitor. I looked away from the damned machine taking a few deep breaths as my heart finally began to slow down. I let out a sigh of relief at finally being calm once again.

"Jon are you doing ok?" A female voice asked as I jerked up feeling a minor pain in my chest. "Oh I'm sorry please calm down it is just me." I looked over seeing Nurse Red Line setting her hand on my shoulder. "The alarm for your heart monitor was beginning to go off so I came to see how you are doing."

"I-I see... Sorry just having a bit of an identity crisis." I said with a shrug as I looked up to her. There it was again... That fucking worried expression. Why did that look of pity fill my chest with warmth... Must be heart failure.

"Jon I am gonna ask you as not your nurse but as a friend. Are you OK?" Red Line asked me as I looked at her before looking down at my hands. I felt tears stream down my face as I took a shuddering breath.

"No... I'm not fucking ok..." I wrapped my arms around her as I just let my tears loose. "I've lost everything. I have nothing left." I sobbed onto her coat as she held me tight.

"It's ok Jon. It's ok." She cooed as I just cried into this woman's arms. She rubbed my back as she softly shushed.

After a few minutes of me being pathetic I finally got myself back up and running. "I'm ok now..." I whispered as I rubbed my eyes.

"Jon I did talk with Twilight... She said that you are a very angry person and I have a suggestion. I don't want you to be angry but I think you will feel better if you do it. I have to recommend you do Anger Management." I looked to her before a spike of anger hit me but I quickly took a deep breath knowing it will make my heart hurt.

"Yea... I was thinking that too." I said looking at her. I knew I needed it to help me live now but the problem is I was scared. "But I don't know how."

Nurse Red Line smiled to me. "I can help you. We have a program at the hospital that you can go to help you once you get a little better." I nodded looking back down at my hands as she watched me setting her hands on my shoulder. "I do have good news for you. You can start walking about tomorrow and maybe we can get you signed up tomorrow as well." I nodded as she patted my shoulder. "You focus on being happy and let me focus on keeping that sweet little heart of your's running." I nodded smiling to as she helped me lean back and rest.

"Thank you Nurse Red Line." She nodded smiling. She left closing the door with a quiet click. I leaned back looking up at the ceiling just staring up at the white tiles... I just couldn't sleep now. Fuckin' hell.