A competitorView OnlineA Double LifeA competitorThe most important question I ask myself... What does everypony see me? Well, some say I'm amazing. Others say I'm smart, beautiful and have a nice personality to back it up. For example... "Thanks for the notes, Ember." "Can you help us fix this poster, Ember? "It's a nice day out, isn't it Ember?" That type of thing. To add more to the cake, everypony see's me as a model. Then there are some that see me as a admiration and reverence. Even as a filly, everypony saw me this way. It's almost like I have no flaws at all. However, Ever since he transferred to another school, I've been irritated. Everypony has said things like, "He's amazing." "He's a joy to be around." "He can do anything." It all started because he transferred here. It's all I ever hear now. "Oh, Grape is so nice." "Grape is very friendly to be around." "His presence is a joy and never ending fun." Ugh, I'm sick of it. Grape is a unicorn with a black mane and his eyes match the colors as well. He excels in magic while I'm just a simple earth pony. Practically every mare falls for him. Well, every mare expect myself. The way he smiles just get's under my skin. Acting like he's so much better then me. I was here first and now he wants to take my hard work and all the time it took to become well loved only for him to sweep all my hard work under the rug. I need to figure out how to get rid of him and fast. Even if it means getting my hoofs dirty. As I kept thinking of ways to get him, I was walking home. The sun was setting and there wasn't a whole lot of other ponies walking about. After about fifteen minutes of walking, I finally was home. I opened the door and almost immediately , I was tackled down by my two younger sisters. "Welcome home!" They yelled. I fell back and hugged them back. "Hey there." I said, happily. My younger sisters can be a bit rowdy but they are loveable. Their names are Fizzy and Cupid. Fizzy is the youngest of the three (counting myself) and tends to be very quick to act but always loving nevertheless. She's a earth pony like myself but unlike me and Cupid, she doesn't have a cutie mark yet. She strives to get one soon. I hope she does as well but only time will tell. As for Cupid, she's only three years younger then me but older then Fizzy. She's only ten but acts older then that at times. She tends to be very concerned for the both of us at times. Me because of how I am and Fizzy because she tends to be a bit to crazy at times. She's a earth pony as well and despite her calm voice, most of the time she can go a bit far with her being protective. "You look more festive then usual..." Cupid said, concerned. "What's wrong with that? I can't be myself when I'm at home?" I asked slightly irked. There is one secret that no one else except my family. When I'm at school or just in public, I'm the perfect image but that's just for show. The graceful me is only a façade. The 'nice' me is a huge lie. The truth is, I just love to be adored above everypony else. To be loved and seen as Celestia herself is a great feeling. I get all the specialty and have more lee way and be the best at everything is indescribable. I am the definition of Celestia herself. And I won't let anypony steal my spotlight. Not even him. "There she goes again..." Cupid mumbled. As she said that, I smelled something great across the room. "Dinner's ready!" My dad yelled. They ran over but I couldn't think about eating. I had to still think of a plan on how to get rid of him. I went upstairs and sat down at my desk. The amount of work it takes into keeping my posture is draining but if it means being loved, I'll do it. The same goes for a all nighter. I would do it without hesitation. It's as everypony says, In order to become the best, you can't give up, can't slack off and most importantly, never let anypony know what you are. I decided to at least grab something to eat just in case i pull an all nighter again. I walk downstairs and hear them talking. I waited behind the wall before going in there. "She's always lazy at home." She said. "Yea, and she's really spoiled, arrogant, and uncontrollable. It makes you wonder how she far she will go to become perfect." Fizzy said. I came from behind the wall and said, "So what if I am? If I kept this up all the time, I would drain myself." "Then, why keep it up? Why not let everypony see you for what you really are?" Fizzy asked. "I agree. We can hardly tell it's you once you step outside the house." Cupid said. "You've been like this ever since you started kindergarten. What will happen once somepony see's you as a fake? What then?" Fizzy asked, somewhat serious. "I don't see why you wouldn't want to be perfect. Have all the love and grace in Equestria and you want to be a typical pony. I just don't understand how you two can stand it. If only you two could understand." I said, arrogantly. "Your such a weirdo..." Cupid said, coldly. But in order to be the wonderful me, I can't let my guard down for even a moment. Otherwise, it's not a great feeling. "Why would she go so far though? Being prefect can't be that much fun..." Cupid asked, mumbling her voice. "Well, you got yourself a competitor recently. How's that going for you?" Fizzy asked. "Oh, that's right! I was planning on how to take him down so I can't afford to waste any more time!" I said, running back upstairs. After entering my room, I closed the door and went back to my desk. As much as I hate to admit it, they do have a point... In a way, I've been lying to everypony all the way up to now, but for the first time, I have a challenger to deal with. It goes way back to when school first started. I felt a bit discourage about starting. I had planning to be number one the test and become a leader to everypony. Sadly, I was not picked. I didn't understand. I studied for weeks, almost never sleeping and on some occasions, never ate and somepony surpassed me?! I wanted to be the leader and let everypony know what I was! My plans for my start in high school had been messed up. At first, I thought it was just some geek trying to get in my way. He/she must have been more desperate then myself to. May it would pass in a few days but... it didn't. It was as I feared. He had take over my popularity in a matter of seconds. In the thirteen years I've been alive, I had never felt such shame to be beaten by a pretty stallion... "That's why I have to study even harder, even if it kills me!" I yelled. Then and only then will everypony realize that I can't be beat. "So in other words, he is smarter then you." Fizzy said. "Is it really worth your life to have everypony idolize you?" Cupid asked, annoyed. "Of course it is! Being loved and being perfect is the only thing I desire! They are my life sores!" I yelled back. I didn't realize they were at the door but I guess I was pretty load. After that, I pushed them out, locked the door and grabbed every book on my self. I started to write down everything, word for word and repeated it aloud in the process. To make matters worse, he has a nice personality, great at sports, and is great at magic. He really makes my blood boil! I will make sure he never beats me again. He will be sorry if he ever crosses my path. I'll do whatever it takes to insure it. He will soon learn my wrath. I continued to write, speak and read for several more hours.
Hatred growing moreView OnlineA Double LifeHatred growing moreI heard my alarm go off and as usual, it's at the break of dawn. I don't know why but I can never get use to getting up this early despite the fact I've been doing this for years. I let out a deep sigh and realized complaining about it won't solve anything. I got up and combed my mane, rubbed the dirt out of my eyes and grabbed my bag. I'm normally the first one out the house since I get to school early and do some extra work. After about fifteen minutes of walks, I was here. I walk in who's the first pony I see? Grape... He looks at me and smiles. "Morning, Ember." He said, nicely. "Oh, morning." I replied. Of course Mr. Prefect has to be here... "Your always here early." He said. " Well look at you. Your here as well." I said, faking a laugh. Jeez, I just had to run into him first thing. However, my impenetrable mask won't succumb to this. After all, I have to keep my image up. "Well, some of the ponies asked me to come in early to set up a few things so that's why." He said, calmly. "From what I've heard, you do just about every sport here, don't you? It must be difficult." I said, praising him. "Just about. I'm the leader in all of the so I have to be a good example to the rest. We start after school and I don't usually get to relax until close to nightfall." He said. "Whoa. That long?" I asked, "Still, you got to keep up with your studies, so you must continue to work hard. Your incredible" I said, faking a smile. I saw that he was blushing after I said that. Why would he be embarrassed about that? I suppose it won't matter in the end. "Your not bad yourself. Your bright and trustworthy yourself. I've heard that your good with working with everything and then some. I didn't realize that there were more amazing ponies like you here. It shows me how big Equestria and how small I thought everything was." He said. "Aw, I'm not that great..." I said turning away. We both looked at each other and smiled but deep down, I was grinning. Foolish colt. The 'Nice' me in front of you is the same mare who will soon be making your life a living nightmare. As We continued to talk, I heard the bell ring and eerypony started to show up. We went our separate ways and sit down. The teacher handed us a piece of paper that contained math problems. This was filly's play. I got started on it and after about ten minutes, I finished. I looked it over again to make sure it was correct and neat. Seems to be in order. I looked around and saw others didn't have so much luck. "I don't understand this part." Said one mare. She got up and went over to Grape. "Excuse me, Grape. Could you help me with this problem?" She asked. He nodded and within seconds, everypony gathered around him. Whatever happen to me, huh? I was growing more angry by the second and I knew I would soon be replaced if I didn't get rid of him and soon. I turned in my work and went outside to catch my breath. It seems that slowly, he was taking over my life and before I know it, I would sease to exist. I gritted my teeth at the though of it. After about twenty minutes, the bell rand and I head over to my next class. It was gym and I today we were practicing baseball. I was teaching them the basics. "So, if the tip of the bat hits the ball, it will have much more of an impact unlike if it hits anywhere else." I said. They looked at me with aw in their eyes. Suddenly, another mare showed up. "Hey, Grape is playing a match of basketball." She yelled. They all ran out the minute his name was mentioned leaving me by myself. My anger grew more to the point I almost popped the ball I was holding. I threw it at a wall and left. What's so great about him? He's just another want be that happens to do everything I can do. It's frustrating to say the least. So much for having fun. He swoops in and steals my spotlight. Grrr.... Until now, I was the one seen and loved by everypony. They all trusted me, including the teachers. Darn it! If it wasn't for him, I would have no problem being noticed. It's cold... So cold. To be forgotten by an average pony like him... All I ever asked for was to be praised, recognized, and seen by everypony. Is that to much to ask? Ah, your an eyesore to see. Just you wait. I will be the one who shines over you and you will soon regret coming here! I heard the bell ring once more and I would have missed it had I not seen everypony leaving. I was in social studies and I felt really tired. My eyes felt heavy. I held my head up so I wouldn't fall asleep. After all, I did study all night to win against him. All the sounds were slowly fading away as my eyes continued to drop. As I almost dropped my head, I shook it off. I can't fall asleep now. If I do, I will be one-upped by him again and I refuse to succumb to that fool... After a few seconds, I felt my head almost hit the desk. I caught myself just in time though. Ah! That... was to close. I almost ruined my forehead from a stupid mistake. I felt my heart jump a thousand beats as it was to close a call. Oh, this is bad. Nopony saw that, right? I look around frantically and I felt like I got- Ah! I saw Grape look at me with concern. No, I was spotted and by somepony I hate no less... The bell rang and everypony except Grape. He got up and walked over to me. "Ember?" He asked. "Y-Yea?" I asked, worried. "You should be more careful. If you had hit your head on the desk there, you might have hurt yourself. Just be careful, ok?" He asked. I nodded and as I did that, he left. No. No,no,no! Now he has one over me. I cannot let this defeat go unchecked. I ran home immediately after and ran into my room. I will definitely beat him! Even if it kills me. I kept writing the same thing over and over for several hours...
RealizationView OnlineA Double LifeRealizationI woke up and the alarm went off again. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, combed my mane and dashed out of the house. I got to the school in about eight minutes. Just when I thought I was in the clear, he shows up in front of me. He waved to his 'friends' and saw me. I had no choice but to talk to him. Could this get any worse...? We walked around and he was talking about how he just got out of a meeting and he didn't realize how much work there was to it all. I nodded and said, "That's how much trust they got in us to not be on out backs a lot. We always think of it as work worth doing." He smiled and agreed. "That's a mature way to look at it." He said, somewhat dumbfounded. Goodness, what a kissup... "Oh, I almost forgot. Do you have any type of music you like?" He asked. "Well... I realize it might not be something you think I listen to but, I like techno. It makes me feel floaty and at the same time, it sounds nice." I said, truthfully. "Well if you want, I can lean you some to listen to." He said. "Really? Thanks." I said, happily. He must be rich or something to have such music... Whatever, at least it's free music to bring him down. The rest of day was pretty calm for the most part. It was getting close to night so I headed out. Right as I head outside, he appears. "Ember!" He yelled. He ran over to me and asked if I was heading home. I nodded and asked, "What about club? You couldn't be done that early could you?" "They told me that I needed time to focus on the exams so I don't have to do anything for awhile." He replied. Great... Just what I needed. "You mind if I tag alone part of the way?" He asked. I wanted to say no and tell him to beat it but my 'nice nature' won't let me so I nodded and we continued to walk. We didn't exchange words during the entire time and after some time, we parted ways. I got home and my sisters greeted me but I was to focused on getting a perfect score to reply back. I head up to my room and grabbed all my books to insure I won't be beat. I had the who weekend to do this so I need to use it. Just then, they appeared behind me, tugging at me. "Come on, let's play together for once!" Fizzy begged. "All you ever do is look yourself in your room and never pay any attention to us. Just this once, let hang out." Cupid pleaded. "Absolutely not! I must beat that smug, Grape no matter the cost. He's already bested me one to many times and I will not take it anymore!" I yelled. They started to cry. "You used to be a lot of fun before but now, your only focused on being the best..." Fizzy said, crying. "Besides, the one who's acting like a brat is you." Cupid said, annoyed. "So what? I don't like losing. I only want to be seen. That's who I am!" I snapped back. I sighed and went over to them. "I'm sorry. I just want to study so I don't become second place. I didn't mean to hurt you guys." I said. They nodded and smiled. They left the room without complaining. I had to study and not lose. I felt like falling asleep but I knew I couldn't. I had studied so much, it's become second nature. Somehow, rather then wanting to be the best and seen by others, my end goal was changed. Instead of being the best or seen, it was changed to beating him and reclam my title. I wanted to see the look on his face when he loses. I will not have it any other way. I continued to study for what felt like forever and fell asleep in between the days. . . . I woke up and knew I had to rush out the door. I did my usual routine and bolted out the door. I went into the classroom and sat down, waiting for everypony else to show up. After about an hour, everypony showed up and the teacher gave us the exam. I examined each question and made sure to check every answer before filling it in. After about forty-five minutes, I finished and sat back down. I waited for everypony to finish. I grew more inpatient and I was slowly tapping my hoof as the suspense was killing me. After about three more hours, the bell rang and everypony turned in their paper. We were let out early today since the exam took while. They said it would be posted tomorrow but I couldn't wait that long. Unfortunately, it was out of my hoofs so all I could do was go home and wait. I fell asleep almost immediately after I got home. . . . I woke up and once again, did the usual morning routine and rushed out the house. I went though the whole day and after waiting for so long, I rushed over to the result board. It was crowed and when I finally got in front of the line, I looked at the results. I saw that I was number one and Grape was just below me. Everypony cheered for me and was praising me once more. I did it, I finally beat him. I smiled greatly as I finally had something over him. It took, blood, sweat and tears to do it but I'm finally back on top. It had been so long since I've heard this much affection. I almost forgot how it felt that I almost felt like bursting out in laughter. Goodbye miss nopony and hello to everypony paying more attention to me. "Nice job, Ember." Grape said with a smile. Ah... so he showed up. He's no longer the better pony. Starting now, he will envelop a helpless feeling knowing I finally bested him. He will burn in the flames of disgrace, and instead of me, you will see the same torment I had to endure. Then after that, I'll speak with sympathy and pity saying, 'I wish you luck next time'. It will make my victory a lot more sweet. Now, let's see the disappointment I've waited for. "Your really something after all." He said with a smile. What? Wait a second... What's with that attitude? This isn't anything I had imagined... I thought that all I needed to do was beat him at something in order to win but... it's not. What is this? I won, but I don't feel like I've won. Rather, I feel completely different. If I had only thought about it, I would have noticed it sooner. I was only obsessed about being the best and keeping a display of grace and yet, I've never once seen him brag or care about those things to begin with. Everypony acknowledged him, even without him being around for a long time. He never had a ulterior M.O to win or outshine me. Is that why everypony sees him over me...? For once in my life, I felt ashamed for being so different compare to what is 'normal'. I've been playing myself like a fool and lying to everypony about who I really am. I'm just a fraud, a hypocrite. I don't remember the last time I was praised for just doing something just because. Without the feeling of being praised or seen. I've always wanted to hear things like, 'Your so good' 'Your really dependable.' rather it was a lie or not. I always pushed myself and never considered how much of a monster I was... Now that I think about it, I'm such a popularity freak. I was only thinking of myself and not what everypony really feels... If I had just raised the real me without lying or placing restraints on myself, I might have been gotten the love and care without having to lie to everypony. Even so, even if I reveal myself now, I would most likely be seen as a freak and a disappoint everypony. How ironic, I got all the attention and love in the world only to realize it's pointless if I continue a lie. How stupid am I...? Stupid! Stupid! I'm such a fool! I walked away without saying a word to anypony. I went into another classroom to avoid everypony. I felt depressed... I didn't want anypony to see me this way or disappoint them. Even then, all I had to do was come to school right before the bell rang. Unfortunately, I've been doing this for years and it has become a habit for me. I always had time to relax, study that type of thing. Wait a minute! Maybe go to the music room and play a calm melody. That should cheer me up. As I was about to head out, I bumped into somepony. "Sorry." I said with a hint of sadness. I started to blushed. I've never been this careless before. Could this day get any worse? I felt like running away. I'm only a fraud after all... Before I could do so, Grape stopped me. "Wait a minute." He said. I was taken back by his quick action. He pulled me in closer and whispered, "I want to tell you something. Ember, I love you." I looked back and our eyes connected. I felt my heart drop as he said that. I didn't reply back and walked away. I walked home and was alone. That's the first time somepony has confessed or even really talked to me outside of public eye. I entered the door and had to put on a brave face. I sat on the downstairs couch and relaxed. "Ah, having somepony confess their feeling to me feels pretty nice." I said, jokily. "Well, you are popular after all. It was only a matter of time." Cupid said, writing. "The best part is, it was my enemy who confessed. Winning or losing is irrelevant now that I have him at the palm of my hoof. It's as one pony says, 'The pony in love, the one who is loved, wins." I said, laughing. "Oh, And what did you say?" She asked. "Well, I refused his offer, of course. I can't have petty feeling about somepony. I could tell he felt defeated and left." I said, lying. "Are you sure that's what happened?" Fizzy asked. They looked at me like I was lying. "What? You don't believe me?" I asked, annoyed. "Do you really hate him?" Cupid asked. "Now that I think about it, I felt like he talked to you because you had a superiority complex towards him." Fizzy added. "Well, I kind of see it. You do have a superiority complex." If you look at it, you should see that you do." Cupid said, mocking me. Well, That is true. He has the brains and good personality that everypony likes... It's that type of image that I've always wanted without having to fake it. I tried to get as close to perfection as I can. Oh no, Now that I take biased option out the equation, he's a great pony. I never looked at it like that. What a horrible way to judgment somepony. "Well, there's no point to it now. I've already said no after all. I'm going to bed. Night." I told them. I went upstairs and went into my room. They had a point. I've been so blind and stupid that I never thought of that possibility of just accepting him. Well, maybe I'll make it up to him on Monday.
Fear,regret and a serventView OnlineA Double LifeFear,regret and a serventI woke up and did the usual morning thing although I took my time and didn't rush. I left the house about fifteen minutes later then usual. I slowly walked to school in fear that he would laugh at me and spill everything. I treed carefully and didn't speak at all during class. I just sat there and did my work without looking around. After my first class, I walked out and decided to just stay as far away from him as possible. As I continued to walk, I spotted him out the corner of my eye. He was reading without a care in the world. I grew angry as I stared at him for a few minutes. He looked back but said nothing. One look was all he needed to let him know how I felt. Some other pony came up to him and they started to talk. He knows what I really am now... The worst mistake of my life. Knowing him, he must have read me like a book and see me as a lazy, ungrateful mare who love to just look like I care. At school, I'm only a bluff. Now my imagine is ruined and he expose me for the fraud I am... That is me, the true me and there's nothing I can do but wait for the invertible. Now the question is will you tell everypony now? Will you look at me with contempt or rather, will you pity the foolish and stupid me, like the nice pony you are? But why? Why out anypony did it have to be him?! I don't want them to laugh at me, feel pity for me or have empathy for me! I felt tears coming down my face in fear of what will happen. I turn away and rub the tears away. I fearfully awaited my moment of reckoning. Right now, everypony loves me, laughs with me and sees me as a useful pony but by tomorrow, they will know the truth and realize I've been carrying a lie. They will begin to question if anything I say is true or just another lie. They look at me with disgust and hate. My heart sank even deeper at just the thought but before I could act, I saw him and a few others walk passed me. I continue the day as normal but with a discouraged heart in the process. I went home, studied, fell asleep and the cycle continued for about a week and it dawned on me that he hasn't said anything to me. Nopony has said anything about me. Not even a bad look steered my way. Is it possible... he let it go? That's right! He's to nice for that type of thing. He doesn't play cheap tactics or make fun of others. Maybe that's it! Yes, I got really lucky. He let me off easy! At that point, I was relieved. I went though each class not worried at all. After the last bell rang, I remembered that I needed to get another book to complete my work. I walk along the hallway without a care in the world. "You seem more relaxed then usual." A voice said. It was then I realized it was Grape. I felt my heart rip apart. I jumped back like I had seen a ghost. "What am I, Nightmare Night?" He asked, concerned. He walked closer and had a smile on his face. "Did I surprise you?" He asked, "Something tells me I saw something that was meant to be unseen. I was taken back by your actions as well. To think that the flawless Ember had another side. I'm sure everyone will be surprised by this. I wonder if they will laugh, or better yet, be surpised themselves." He whispered. As he walked away, I stopped him. "Hmm? What is it, Ember?" He asked, calmly. I was shaking by what he said. I knew I wanted to change but I wanted to do it on my terms. Not his... "Don't... Don't tell anypony..." I said, struggling to speak. He looked at me and said, "Please don't tell anypony." He said, smiling. The nerve... I should kick his flank but... I had to swallow my pride and said, "P-Please don't tell anypony..." "Alright. No problem." He said with a slight laugh. I was about to thank him when he dropped some papers on me. "If you can, do these for me, ok? By the end of the day would help.'ve got to take care of a few things so I'll catch you later" He said, walking away. With each step, all I could hear was my own heart beat realizing what he did. I was speechless about what just happened. I looked at the papers he gave me and they didn't look like something I was similar with. What the heck is this? I put the papers in my bag and walked home. Just when you though you know somepony who is nice, he backstabs me and using me as a worker... I went instantly into my room to work on his stuff... After about two hours of that, I put it back into the bag and fell asleep. . . . I woke up and did the same rotation as usual and went directly to school. I didn't see him here like usual but I guess that's a good thing. I sat down and studied some more before more ponies showed up. After about an hour, the bell rang and everypony showed up. They sat down and the teacher started to talk but I was to tired to focus on what he was saying. I don't like having somepony knowing my secret and abusing my weakness to further his/her gain. Then again... I've done the same thing by lying to everypony about who I am. Suddenly, I felt a tap on my back. "Ember, you ok?" The teacher asked. "...Huh? Yea, I'm fine. Guess I just zoned out." I replied. "You sure?" The teacher asked. I nodded and went back to talking. I let out a quiet sigh as I realized everypony may be admiring and praise me now, but they don't know that I'm a servant to Grape every will... I open one eye and see him looking back at me smiling. Ugh, I hate him for knowing my true self! Just like earlier this morning when he showed up at class. "Nice job. It's prefect. This would normally take me forever with all the activates I'm in but you make it seem easy." He said, nicely. "You know full well that isn't true! What's the meaning of treating me like a fool?! Why must I do everything for you now?!" I asked, snapping back. He didn't even flinch at what I said nor fazed by my uproar. "That's because... I've got ahold you something to use against you, so as long as that's the case, I may as well use it to get things done quickly." He replied, calmly. I started to blush out of anger as he said that. "I-I-I know that! You don't have to say it so carelessly!" I yelled, "It's blackmail. Don't you feel at least some shame?" I asked. He nodded and I was baffled. I took two steps back as he said that. "But, what else am I suppose to do? I'm always busy and your better then me. So why not use this to get the job done quickly?" He asked, looking at me. Grr.... I wish I had got rid of him sooner... "You're going to be really helpful to me. But, I won't force you to do it. If you wish to decline, just say so. That is... if you can." He said, coldly. You scheming jerk! What a oversight on my part. To think he was the nice pony and wouldn't poke fun at other ponies weakness... I put on a show and was proud of it for thirteen years, Priding myself will confidence only for it to come back and bite me in the flack. I never felt such shame in my life! Ah, I wish he had never come here! If only I could get rid of him, my life will be back to normal! I heard the bell ring and I went straight home and into my room. Just then, Cupid came in and noticed I wasn't in a good mood. "It's about Grape again, isn't it?" Cupid asked. I didn't reply. "You should be grateful. He's teaching you not only that image is an illusion, but how cruel the real world really is. There's always somepony else who will either do better then you or have an edge in life." She said. "He's not doing this to teach me a lesson! He's doing this to get back at me!" I yelled. "How do you know that?" She asked. I was about to say something but I was to angry to get my words out. Instead, I pushed her out of my room and locked the door behind me. I went back on the bed and covered my face with a pillow to prevent my screams being heard. Right now, I have no means of an escape from this. The only thing I could do now is curse my own fate...Unfortunately, it was to late for that as well. The workload keep piling up everyday with no end to it. I would sometimes cry while doing it... Maybe if I play innocent, he will feel guilty. Tommorow, I'll do that.
Learning what he doesView OnlineA Double LifeLearning what he doesI woke up and did my usual morning routine and rushed out the door. I knew if I just get the waterworks, I could get out of this mess. I didn't spot anypony in sight and the sun was barely up as I got to the school. I opened the door and he wasn't here. Good, now I can get myself ready. This will be a piece of cake since I'm a great actor. I tried to start crying but it wasn't working. I tried to hit my head on the desk but I still wasn't crying. It seems I'll have to take on desperate measures to get myself to cry. I saw the iron table and kicked it and... Ow, that hurt but tears were starting to poor down my face. Moments later, he came into the room. I handed him the work from yesterday and I knew he saw my tears. "Your a terrible pony, making a lovely mare such as myself do all this work." I said, crying. I knew that would do that trick. I waited a few seconds but his demeanor didn't change. He smiled and said, "Nice try, but I know you inflicted self-injury to cry." Darn it... "Your pretty strong to still be able to stand up after that." He said, smiling. "Ugh, just shut it, why don't you?!" I said, snapping back. After I said that, The bell rang and everypony came it including the teacher. He went back to his seat and just went though the day slightly annoyed. I went to gym and played some baseball by myself while everypony was outside watching Grape running. After that, I went to my last class and jolted down notes. Then the final bell rang and I went outside and sat down. He appeared behind me and handed me more papers. "What's this for?" I asked. "Making trips to the Crystal Empire. That and some extra prep work on top on of that." He replied. "What? Your even doing stuff like that?!" I asked, stunned. He nodded as I asked that. Jeez, having been made to assist, I can see what he needs the help. He truly has a lot of responsibilities. He's in every sport, every club and he's a leader in all of them. That's not even adding the fact he's still got homework and dealing with everypony asking him questions. Even I don't do all that much. Not because I don't want to, but because I would get next to no sleep at all. "I'm surprised your not exasperated from all that..." I said, baffled. He grabbed something from his bag. It looked to be food and he handed it to me. He sat down as he did. "Oh... thanks." I said, surprised. He smiled and we started to talk some more. "It seems I stand out somehow." He said. "Well, that's the hard part. With your brains and personality, you could easily lead a better life." I said. "Oh? I see. Do you really believe that?" He asked with a slight chuckle, "Well, it's all because of your help that it makes my life much easier." He said, patting my head. "I'm not a dog you know." I said, moving away. The sun started to come up but nopony had showed up yet. "Grape, did you do this in your last school as well?" I asked. "Yep. What about you?" He asked. I nodded. "Then you must've done a lot of work as well." He said. I shook my head and said, "Na, Not this much." "Oh? How come?" He asked, surprised. I smirked as he asked that. "I would say something like, 'What will I do? I can't maintain all this work'. That's all it took and everypony would chip in and help me." I said, laughing. He looked at me with concern. "So you just con everypony into doing all the hard work. And this is the real you..." He said, slightly worried. "What? Your doing the exact same thing to me!" I said, snapping back. "Hmm? No I'm not. I'm normally like this. My actions haven't changed once. I'm only doing this because I'm following your lead." He said with a smile. "So your saying it's my fault?" I asked, slightly mad, "That can't be true." I told him. "But it's the undeniable truth." He said. As he said that, I noticed it was completely dark out. We got up and started to walk home. We continued to talk for what felt like hours and went our spate ways. I hate to admit it but... in he end, he's prefect, somehow. I didn't care about surpassing him anymore. My emotions kept sweeping me around. I hate him but... at the same time, I understand what he does. I hate him because he's blackmailing me. He's aware that's its wrong but don't show any regret in doing it. I don't understand it myself but... I guess it's something I will never understand... I got home and everypony was in the living room. I went upstairs and into my room. For some reason, I want to explode but, I just can't. Despite what he's done, I can't truly fault him for it... I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep...
A strange feelingView OnlineA Double LifeA strange feelingI woke up feeling slightly sluggish as a strange thought came into my mind... Why do I feel like this? Up until yesterday, I felt like getting rid of him. Up until just recently, I've been hearing rumors about us somehow being... a couple or something like that. I've just ignored it at first but it seems everypony has looked at me strangely anything me and Grape are together. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. After all, we have been together for some time albeit, sort of against my will. I had barely gotten any sleep from all the work he's given me. I knew I had to get up and rush over before he shows up. With my bag and all his work in it, I ran out of the house in a hurry. I didn't think much of theses rumors since anypony can start one but it continued to gain more attention and I grew worried that they would get the wrong impression if they didn't know the truth. I continued to run and saw the school ahead. I ran inside and not a pony in sight. I felt really tired since I had little to no sleep so maybe I should close...my...eyes for a... min... . . . I woke up and it was still dark out. I rubbed my eyes and suddenly, I heard a voice. "Awake now?" Grape asked. I jumped up in surprise. I looked at him and his face was gleaming in the light. This was the first time I really looked at him and saw his face. He smiled and looked at the moon. "I just got here after setting up the tables." He said with a smile. He looked back at me with a nice smile and his eyes looking directly at me. "You shouldn't fall asleep here." He said, smiling. I felt my heart skip several beats and for the first time, he seemed special to me. I had never felt like this before. I didn't understand it myself but I knew it had something to do with him finding out the real me. "I've got to set up some more stuff so I'll see you in class." He said, walking away. He closed the door behind himself and I was by myself once more. I was so confused as to what I was feeling. All of my angry had been replaced with admiration. This was the first time somepony else saw me as a fake and yet he didn't treat me any differently. I smiled and closed my eyes once more... . . . After I heard the first bell ring, everypony showed up and began class. Sometime would pass until the next bell would ring but I wondered what he really felt. I didn't understand this sensation I was going though. I don't understand it at all and it made me feel confused and sick to my stomach. The only thing I could understand was that it was a hazy and restless feeling... It's the first time experiencing this and... Is it possible...? C-Could it be "love" everypony talks about?! It couldn't be! Not me! How dumb... I refuse to believe it. I felt like I was lacking a sense of the real world... But still... What do I do? What can I do? I've already ignored his conversion but he still hangs out with me. I just don't understand... As I heard the bell ring, I slowly got up and continued though the day without talk to anypony or Grape. I went straight home and went upstairs. I heard somepony open my door and it was my sisters. "What do you want...?" I asked, coldly. "Your home pretty late." Fizzy said, concerned. "Come to think of it, you've been coming pretty late for the past few days." Cupid said, also concerned. "I've just had extra work lately so I stay at school and finish it up before coming home." I replied. "Ah, I see. Is there more?" Cupid asked. I nodded but didn't tell them what it was. "What else is there?" Fizzy asked. "...It's nothing worth noting." I replied. "That can't be. No matter how we think it, you've never been coming home this late. That's strange even for you. And on top of that, you use to brag about what you did during the day but you always go to your room and say nothing to us." Cupid said. "Is somepony bothering you?" Fizzy asked. "Or rather, do you have a crush on somepony?" Cupid asked. "Wha-what are you two talking about? I'm just tired it all..." I replied. "So you do have a crush." She said, leaning closer. "I said, I'm tired." I told her. They looked at me like they didn't believe me. I got up and pushed them out of the room. All I wanted to do is figure this out by myself... I mean really, they wouldn't understand it even if I told them. If only I had just meet him under normal conditions and not like this... I might be able to understand this feeling. Then, I wouldn't have any problems. I admit it, I'm troubled... I don't want anypony to know because I don't want to disappoint them... Why did I have to be little miss perfect...? I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep...
The last strawView OnlineA Double LifeThe last strawI woke up and while I felt sluggish once more, I did feel more rested then before. I got up and combed my mane, brushed my teeth, and left the house. I left a little later then usual but it wasn't late so I wasn't to worried. I got to school fifteen minutes later and sat down along with the rest of the class. After the bell rang, some mare sitting next to looked at me. "Hey Ember, I've wanted to ask this question for some time but... are you and Grape... dating?" She asked. I blushed almost immediately but manage to obtain my usual clam self. My head felt dizzy as she said that. She continued to talk as it tailed my mind. "I ask because you two have been together for quite a while and everypony's been talking about it. I don't mean it a weird way but you both suit each other really well and everypony adores the idea. It's ok if your not but I just wanted to ask out of curiosity." She said. Well it is true he confessed his feelings to be, but... "I also heard another mare asked him out but he just laughed and didn't reply to her." She added. I just smiled but bitterly. I knew it. I be lying if I didn't say I've been thinking about it for some time. Where has that confession gone? He's never brought it up again and never hinted on it. I knew, but... I thought it, but... He liked me even before he knew about the real me was. My heart has been feeling strange ever since then and I can't explain it but maybe... just maybe, I like him as well. I walked out and didn't reply to her. I asked my teachers if I could take the rest of the day off since I wasn't feeling well. They were fine with it and I went into the nurse's room to collect my thoughts. I wanted to figure out how to solve this but every time I thought of an answer, it would make me feel even worse. I knew I was a lie. I knew I couldn't amount to nothing without feeling praised, loved and known. All those times I've put on a nice face, it was just one more lie to add, one more disappointment I had to carry on me... I heard the door open and it was Grape. "Sorry but could you stay behind today as well?" He asked, "It's not to much so you won't have to stay behind as long." He said with a smile. I nodded and he left the room. It was at this point I had already completely been removed from his mind as a couple... I worked on the paper and as I was doing that, I started to notice tears coming from my face. This time, they were real. My selfish actions have lead me to this and I'm paying the price for it... From the lies, acting completely different at home, everything. I'm such an idiot and it took me thirteen years to realize it. After about an hour, I finished the work but I didn't feel like going home right now... I went into my first classroom and just sat down, looking directly at the ground. I was in the dark with only light and nopony in sight... I didn't deserve it after all. After about an half an hour, somepony opened the door and it was Grape. ""So your still here?" He asked, nicely. He begin to walk closer. I noticed the lights were on so I came up here so see who was still here. Did it take that long?" He asked. I didn't reply. "Oh, it's done. Nice job." He said, calmly. I got up and threw the paper work at him. I looked directly in his eyes and said, "I'm going to quit doing your work. I won't do it. I decided to not help you anymore." He looked at me surprised but didn't change his body language. "But, won't you have more problems?" He asked. "I don't care anymore... You can tell everypony in Equestria if you want." I said, emotionless. He looked at me with shock in his eyes but didn't say anything. I begin to walk past without batting an eye when he grabbed me. "Wait a second." He said, "What are you mad about?" He asked, seriously. "I'm not mad. Leave me alone." I said, coldly. "No, something's wrong. This isn't like you to get mad for no reason. If something's wrong, just tell me. I won't be able to help otherwise." He said. "it won't matter anyways..." I said, trying to leave. He pulled me back and seem to be serious. "It does matter. I don't want to see you this way." He said. "Let go! I said, let go! " I yelled. I pulled away and accidently hoof smacked him. I noticed the bruise on his cheek and we looked at each other for a few seconds. I slowly started to back up as I realized what I did... I lower my head in defeat. I was so angry and hurt. At myself and at him. "I'm just sick of feeling used! I hate you! Just go away!" I yelled. I ran out the classroom and heard him call my name. I continued to run for some time and didn't look back. I've forgotten, because I've been talking to him like I was friends. Because of my 'nice' personality, but in reality, he's just been using my weakness as a means to further his own gain... It's awful! When he found out what I really was, his actions completely changed and was using me without even asking me how I felt! I can't believe I've been so blind to his lies! I'm going to put an end to it all and...and... I heard somepony behind me and I realized it was Grape. "What the? Why are you chasing after me?!" I asked surprised. "Because you're running away!" He replied back. "I told you to leave alone! Stop following me!" I yelled back. "No way!" He yelled. As I keep running, I noticed an open window nearby. I jumped out of it just barely sticking the landing. "Why are you running with everything you got?!" He asked, baffled. I didn't reply and continue to run. "I said wait! Ember, Wait a minute!" He yelled. All of a sudden, I fell down and I ended up hitting the sport equipment. I felt scraps everywhere and could barely more but I needed to get away so I slowly crawled away from him. "You still trying to run away?! Even you must be hurt after that! Let me see your face..." He said grabbing me. Tears were still going down my face and I could tell he saw my tears as well. "So I'm a weird mare! I'm spoiled, a fraud, a liar, a hypocrite and just show I'm good when I'm really not! I abuse my appearance and lazy! I'm quite sure I'm a failure in your eyes, huh?! I'm not everything you imagine but... Why did your actions change?! Am I such a worthless mare if I don't act perfect and do everything!? I hate you! I hate everything about you! Your eyes, the way you look at me! I can't beat you, ok?! Is that what you want to hear!? I'm a loser who fakes everything for attention!" I yelled crying my eyes out. He extended his hoof out but I rejected it. "Don't pity me!" I snapped. He looked at me with sorrow in his eyes. "I'm sorry I made you feel like this." He said sincerely. I didn't look back at him and continued to cry. "Am I really that much of a freak...? Do I really not have any worth if I don't lead by example?" I asked, still crying. "No, of course not. I like the normal you. Your fun, energetic, loving and I wouldn't trade anything in the world to change it." He replied. I slowly looked up and saw that he was smiling. I was stunned by how he can say that with a straight face. "F-Fun...? Loving?" I asked, confused. "Not in a weird way but in a way that everypony should be. Caring, compassionate and put others before their own. Even if it's fake, I feel as you really mean it. To tell you the truth, I never had any intention of telling anypony to begin with. I never wanted to use you and make you feel forced to do anything. I just used it as an excuse to get to know you more. To talk to the real you and see what you really are. I thought it would it would let me get to know you better but not at the expense of your happiness and making you feel worthless. Your the first mare I've talk to that's special and worth being with. I never knew that I was hurting you in the process and for that, I truly apologize for my heartless actions. I won't ask you to help me anymore if you want." He said, with a loving passion. I see... It wasn't that he didn't care about me. I'm glad but... now I'm the fool once more for not just asking him. I smiled and said, "Looks like I cried. I'm such a fool aren't I?" He shook his head and wiped my tears away. From this point on, We became friends that shared a secret. He helped me up and took me inside. It hurt to walk but I felt better knowing that he never had any mean intent to hurt me or tell anyone. We went to the nurses room and he tended to my wounds. Maybe, I can finally drop my anger against him and talk to him normally. I felt a sting as he was healing me but I didn't say anything. He bandaged my scraps and bruises and helped me up. "I'll walk you home." He said, smiling. I nodded and it was a slow but enjoyable walk not just for me, but for him as well. "Hey... I'm sorry for the things I said to you. I-" He placed his hoof on my lips. "It's alright. It was my fault for making you feel that way." He said, interrupting me. I smiled and we didn't exchange any more words after that. We continued to walk for about an hour before reaching my home. It was pretty late and nopony seem to be up witch would save me the time to explain what happened. I opened the door and he helped me upstairs. I opened the door to my room and he laid me down. "Thanks." I told him. He nodded and said, "I'll let everypony know your be out tomorrow so just rest up." I nodded and he left. I tried to move but it was pretty difficult without feeling some type of pain. I closed my eyes and went right to sleep...
A fatal mistakeView OnlineA Double LifeA fatal mistakeI woke up and realize that I didn't have anything to do today. I went downstairs and relaxed on the couch. Suddenly, I heard Cupid and Fizzy panicking although I couldn't tell what. I shrugged it off and relaxed. I just remembered it might rain later so I got up and said, "You better take an umbrella with you just in case it starts to rain." "You sure you don't want to tag along?" Cupid asked. "Na, I'm fine. I'm tried and practically exhausted myself from the exam." I reply, yawning. Fizzy was pulling her and they finally left. I slouched over the couch and finally able to relax at ease. I haven't felt this relaxed in years. Still, what they said yesterday clouded my mind. Should I give him a chance and cast aside this rivalry I have? I have been selfish after all. As I thought that, I heard a knock at the door. I assume it Cupid who forgot to take their umbrella. This is my chance to get her. I jumped up and went into the entrance, grabbed the umbrella and yelled, "Come in!" As the door opened, I jumped at her with the umbrella on hoof. It was at this moment when I realize that it wasn't her at all. It was the one thing I feared the most. The mistake that I had never made before... It was Grape. I stood there in shock as he finally saw me for the first time. What could I say? What can I say that will explain this? I slowly backed up and he looked at me with concern in his eyes. "I-I-I brought you a CD. I was just around the neighborhood and t-thought I drop it off..." He said, trying to hide his shock. It was to easy to tell her was trying to be polite. He has a lot of self-constraint I'll say that much. Seriously, he's one heck of a stallion. In that one instance, I'm probably the first mare to scare him. It was then I decided things could only get better from here. A side of me is happy but the other side of me is sacred of how he will react to it. He handed me the CD and walked away without saying anything else. I head back inside and went upstairs. I was careless... On to of that, he had confessed his love only a short time ago. How will I look now that not only he knows I'm a fake but I rejected him without a slimmer of a thought. I really am doomed... I started to fall into a deep depression after that. I stayed in my room all day after that not even touching the CD he brought over. I can't imagine what will happen when I get to school tomorrow...