Chapters The logs of a Radio Co-Host
Is this thing on?
Good, well hello world I am Kiba Kush, proud owner of the Kiba's Kush dispensary and wow am I in luck! I just scored myself a spot on the premier radio show in Equestria known as Radio Molly. The show run by the royal sexiness herself Princess Molestia.....Yeah she's been like that for a long time and I couldn't tell ya why. Anyway so Radio Molly for those who don't know is a radio show on the equestrian airwaves that plays around 8 pm every weekend.
The ponies on the show are as follows:
Princess Molestia, the one the show is named after and the princess of Equestria
Amaretto, a co-host and member of the royal maids who also runs her own coffee shop named the Moulin Hooves, i'd go there but I don't drink coffee
Mindlessgonzo, another co-host and news pony who runs the youtube channel MindlessGonzo(btw check that shit its fun)
Sharpwing, I know almost nothing about this guy but he occasionally appears on the show
Princess Luna, Molestia's sister who occasionally is on the show and is also a princess of Equestria
The formula is Mindless Gonzo with the news, after the news they move on to the topics of the night and after every topic the rest of the crew gives their opinion of said topic. After that they move on to taking phone calls and questions and general madness ensues before the show ends for the night. More often than not they have someone to interview and it's quite funny to see how they handle the madness that happens beyond the radio. Of course they also host the radio show on Twitch so they can receive questions live while doing the show.
I however don't need to imagine the madness because I am officially a new co-host! To think a fan who was only ever watching from afar would become apart of the fun! It's actually a fun yet odd story on how I came into joining said group. I remember it like it was yesterday, cause it was yesterday.
Before I tell the story I should talk a lil bit about myself, I am a unicorn with a pale white coat and bright green mane and tail. Not my true hair color but permanent hair dye is a great replacement for the boring brown it use to be. My eyes are a bright green and my cutie mark is four leaves in a clover pattern with clouds of smoke around them, my occupation is botany or working with plants, mainly weed as I run a weed dispensary cause kush pays the bills!
Anyway story time
So one day I was sitting behind my desk in the back of the dispensary, place is closing in an hour, bag of weed with the words "Order number 69" on the front in the pick up box when I hear the front door buzzer go off. The door opens and I see a very high society lookin dude, his wings were quite odd even for a pegasus, like we're talking multicolored and I swear his wings were all too shiney. His mane and tail were purple while his coat was a shade of black, he wore and overcoat and hat, along with glasses almost covering his bright purple eyes.
"Hello there, welcome to Kiba's Kush. How may I help you today?" I said. He spoke to me in a voice that sounded calm yet stern. "Hello i'm here to pick up an order my good sir."
I said to him"Alrighty that'll be 70 bits for a few buds of sunlight, and the rest of the tax i'm too lazy to add up so let's just call it 70 and imagine the tax was paid"
He laughed a lil as I handed him the bag and for a second there I felt a lil warm, though I'll pass that off as faulty air conditioning. Anyway he handed over a bag of bits and after a tip of his hat he walked out of the building. I picked up the bag and tossed it into the money box as I headed back to my desk. It was quarter after 8 so I was missing a bit of Radio Molly so I quickly grabbed my blunt and landed on my desk chair. I switched on the radio and began listening to the show. I caught the end of the news with Gonzo and was laughing as Amaretto was called Oregano for like the millionth time.
The show was going on as normal, some sex jokes and and harassing of Gonzo later and the show was nearing it's end when one of the mics picked up what sounded like a door opening. I heard a faint voice say "Excuse me your highness your delivery is here" and was followed by "Thank you sexy subject, leave it on the table I plan on using it soon." It was after that Gonzo replied with "Gezz Princess do you really need ganja?"
I damn near dropped out of my seat when I heard that. I was holding my breath and struggling to think, like holy shit. "Is Molly smoking my weed?" I asked myself.
I knew I had to find out so I picked up my phone and dialed up the Radio Molly number. The phone rang until it was eventually picked up. I still remember the convo like it just happened.
"Hello my sexy subject do you have an opinion on the topics of tonight?"
"Ugh....less of an opinion and more of an ask your highness."
"Ooooh~ Hit me up subject"
"A-alrighty um.....Does the bag say order number 69 on it?"
"Why yes it does my subject, how did you know?"
"I set up the order your highness, I was unaware you smoked weed."
"Hmmm maybe we should meet up and smoke some dear subject er what's your name?"
"K-Kiba K-Kush your highness."
"Well Mr Kush we definitely have to meet up soon, See you soon sexy subject~."
I couldn't believe it, hell I even doubted her.....But I if there's anything I learned it's you never doubt the princess. That saturday was the start of something quite amazing. That day I was behind my desk in the back room, waiting for someone to ring the door so I can buzz them in. I wouldn't have to wait long, as mid day rolled around the buzzer went off. I buzzed them in and made my way to the front to greet them. She was a unicorn, light blue coat with streaks of black and a darker shade of blue. Her eyes a bright green, similar to my own.
"Hello there, Welcome to Kiba's Kush. How may I help you?"
"Are you the owner of the dispensary?"
I replied to her with a yes and she waved in someone from the door. In the door stood a tall white figure with a bright pink flowing mane and tail. She wore a golden harness along with golden hoof covers and a crown resting upon her head.
"Hello there sexy subject, I am Princess Molestia the royal seduces with a fiery lust and a burning bust~"
"Uuuuuhhhhhh...."(master of words am I right?)
"You must be Kiba Kush, you're cuter then I was expecting you to be"
"L-l-likewise"
And that was that, we hung out and smoked weed. Just like two normal pot smokin peeps trying to enjoy themselves. I was having so much fun with her that we had forgotten about the time.
"Oh would you look at the time, i'm late to the studio." She said getting up from the counter.
"I'll tune in tonight, hopefully you can make it in time your highness"
"I will Kiba, by the way call me Molly all my friends call me that. But before I go do you have a quill I can use?"
I handed her the quill and she began writing on a note card. Numbers and words written slowly and precise as not not mess up with the ink.
"Here you go Kiba, come to that address tomorrow around 6:30ish at night" She said handing me the note card. I examined the card and in a flash of light the princess disappeared out of sight. I had nothing much to do but close the dispensary early and tune into Radio Molly for the night.
The next day was mostly boring, customers come in, buy weed then leave. As simple as a dealer can get until around 6:10 when I closed up early to head to the place the address was marked to. The streets of Canterlot are always quite as very few ponies are out, I will admit it's calming to walk these streets and seeing the castle in the distance lit up around the main door and inner walls. I got to the address around 6:25 and to my surprise it was a well kept building just outside the castle walls. The exterior was completely white, made of marble I assume with floral patterns around a gold painted door with a slider on the upper half. To say I was curious as to why the princess wanted me to come here was beyond me.
I knocked on the door and immediately was met with bright purple eyes looking at me through the little slide. "Ah it's you." Said the pony beyond the door. The door opened revealing the same black and purple pegasus from friday.
"I don't think I ever introduced myself, I am CycloneDusk, royal advisor of the princess pleased to make your acquaintance Mr. Kush. Now right this way my good sir." Said the black and purple pegasus.
I followed him through the building, the interior was brick with the occasional painting here and there, doors lined the halls with some closed and some open. The ones opened were just empty so I assumed the rest were as well but I haven't checked so i'll keep y'all updated on that.
We made our way to a large room near the back of the building. In the room was a few multicolored couches, a fridge, a coffee table and a door on the far east in which faint voices could be heard.
"Sit on one of the couches Mr.Kush, i'll let them know you're here." Said CycloneDusk.
He walked into the room and left me to myself. I pondered what who he was getting and why I was asked to come here and whether or not I should run because let's get real here, anyone with a sane mind would be thinking the same even if the matriarch of the land told them to go to some weird building off the road.
The door opened and I was called in by CycloneDusk. I got up and made my way into the room, Inside was a table lined with wires and headsets along with microphones hanging from the ceiling. Around the table was a set of 6 chairs with some extras near the door I came in. But more importantly inside the room was the princess, a pink unicorn mare with a brownish mane wearing a bright blue dress, a brown unicorn with a dark brown mane who looked annoyed and a dark blue alicorn wearing a black harness with the moon engraved on it .
"Ah there you are Kiba, welcome to the studio. Allow me to introduce you to my crew, the pink mare is Oregano-"
"That's AMARETTO your highness!" screamed the pink one.
"This is my sweet and sexy babu of a stallion MindlessGonzo"
"I'm not anyone's damn babu!" Gonzo said.
"And this is my darling sister Luna"
"Tis a pleasure dear loyal subject" Luna said gracefully
"Now then Kiba I asked for you to come cause I thought it would be fun to interview you for the show tonight"
"I got nothing against it your highness"
And that is what happened, I got interviewed on Radio Molly, made the crew laugh and overall had a good time. And to think the show I had been listening to for months asked me to be on the show. After the show I was asked a question, the single most important question I have ever been asked.
"Would you like to be a co-host of Radio Molly Kiba?"
How could I turn that down, I jumped at the opportunity like a fat pony to a sale at Joe's donuts. And that's where this log ends for now BUT I am not done writing these. I'm going to document as much as I can before I get bored and leave this on my computer for years until I ultimately rediscover them when i'm like 87 or something.
So until then!
The logs of a Radio Co-Host
The second day into the thrid
Alrighty so i'm gonna keep this one kinda short because not much happened today and to save time I think i'm only gonna write normal logs about important events in all this but will make filler logs with shortened mini logs in them for convenience.
Anyway the second day was interesting, I got to hang out with the crew of the show and some others I never even knew were there.
Like we had:
Vlad: A Diamond dog who is so observant it's not even funny, a quote he uses best is "No one in Equestria takes a shit without me knowing"
Lunar Flourish: The unicorn that came with the princess to my dispensary the other day
Button Mash: A fowl-mouthed eight year old kid that is obsessed with video games and using the word "Cuck"
STYDA or "Steve" : A human that is captain of the royal guard.....I have no idea
Lucky Charm: A drunk, Irish pony that's married to Amaretto.....he vomited at my feet when I first met him and Amaretto said "Look at zat, he likes you!"
And a pleasant bunch they are, that is except for Vlad. Now i'm worried he might find these logs considering how he acts.
Yes Kiba I found your logs, get a better password you wimp!-signed Vlad
It's only the second day and I am being invited to different events with everyone, like Amaretto invited me to try her new blend of coffee, Vlad asked me to go to the range with him, Molly asked me to help her set up stuff for the show, Button wanted me to play Smash Bros with him and so on and so forth. It was good to be included but I do have a job to do and getting someone to watch your biz while you're out almost 24/7 is hell in a hoof basket. But at some point I might, who knows.
Nothing too important happened today really, only thing of interest was the second radio show I was on. Molly was whispering sensually into the mic and I trolled the hell out of her.
The set up was this:
"I plan on being sexy for you, doesn't that sound good? Just me and you-"
"And Zaboomafoo!"
"I HATE YOU I WAS TRYING TO BE SEXY!"
Insert the laughter of all the peeps in the studio that night. I guess that's all I can say about tonight. I was told to stay in one of the guest rooms of the castle though so I guess i'll have some bragging rights when I get back to my home in my dispensary.
Update:
It is 4:53 in the morning and I can't get back to sleep, I know this sounds crazy but I had a bad dream. You ever have a nightmare that felt so real but you knew it wasn't? Well this one felt to real for my own tastes, like we're talkin it took me almost three hours of convincing myself that it was all in my head.
What happened was this:
I had just begun falling asleep, everything was quite and still. After a short while I woke up to get a glass of water when I noticed the room was a little cold. I didn't pay much attention to it at first but after a short while it began to become more noticeable. The reason I began to notice was because it was actually getting colder in the room, like I saw my own breath it was that cold.
I was starting to freak out to say the least. Everything in the room seemed different like I didn't quite recognize I was in the same place as I was. The room became pitch black, the only thing I could see was myself and my breath in the cold air around me. I didn't know what was happening or for that matter why. But if i'm gonna be honest I think the worst part of all of this wasn't even the cold or the darkness. Before I woke up I swear I heard a voice in my right ear. It wasn't a whisper but it wasn't that loud either like a faint voice that sounded like it was enjoying what it was doing to me.
"How sweet, fresh meat. I can't wait to play with you!"
I woke up screaming, my throat still hurts from it. I feel as though I am going to be up for the rest of the day so i'm gonna get ready for work. I'll return to this at some other point in time but I need to clear my head and think some things over.
The logs of a Radio Co-Host
Alright sooooooo I just met someone that i'm honestly not sure how to feel about. I've been doing Radio Molly for about a few weeks now and out of nowhere this guy shows up.
A stallion, dark grey with a red and black mane wearing a cape going by the name of Bryce. Bryce is an oddball out of everyone else not only cause of his name but what he is. He is a....."Vampibrus" or a Vampire/Incubus hybrid. Sounds crazy reading about it? Imagine seeing it! It was the weirdest sensation I ever felt and my god was it freaky!
So Bryce was a doctor way back in the 14th century, but he was bit by a vampibrus named Markus, he was a massive prick like he makes Big Mac jealous.
When I first met the guy I was walking with Molly. Molly was taking me shopping for a new bong and mic for my side of the studio table when he walks up to us. He spoke in a strong, sensual voice that would make any mare or even stallion shudder.
"Hello Princess, it's marvelous to see you again my dear."
"Oh Bryce my sweet and sexy subject i've missed you."
"Who is this guy?"
"Kiba Kush this is Bryce, he's one of my main squeezes~"
"Hello there Kiba Kush, it's a pleasure"
Now when I was talking to him I had three things running through my head. One of them more prominent than the others.
Who was he?
What was he?
And why did I want him to bend me over and fuck me?
I'm not kidding, being around him literally made me hot and bothered. I had no idea what was going on and I was kind of scared.
I'm going to explain why that is, vampubri' emit a pheromone from there body that acts like a sort of aphrodisiac thus when you're around one you will continually get the urge to fuck them or get fucked by them until you can't control it. There are however ways to combat this.
You could:
A. Not be an inclosed room with them
B. Carry a pocket fan with you and blow it on them
C. Be in a breeze
D. Wear a gasmask around them
Those are the ways I have managed to cope with being around him, there are other ways but I haven't been able to figure them out. I don't hate him for this, he wasn't given a choice in becoming what he is. Hell I can see him being useful when i'm having urges and I need a dude to bang or get banged by granted I doubt I would want to try.
I will admit he did scare me at first because I had no idea things like him existed in the world but I guess i'm still learning about the world, even at my ripe old age of 19. And if all of them are like that then I wouldn't mind meeting them.
Update:
It's been about a week and I decided against my better judgment I was gonna have sex with the guy or at least try to. If he's one of Molly's mains then I should be in for a good time if he's also into dudes. I found him wandering outside the main room of the castle, I approached him carefully.
I began to feel the pheromones taking effect as I got closer to him. I was gonna try and seduce him, sweet talk him then hopefully move to a closed off location. Buuuuut due to the pheromones the whole conversation went different and I swear it didn't make me look stupid.
"Hello there Kiba what can I do for you?"
"BEND ME OVER AND TAKE ME RIGHT HERE LIKE YOU WOULD MOLLY!"
"Sure thing Kiba~"
His dick was massive, like we're talking HUGE. I was scared to death I have been with guys in the past but none were as big as him. I took a deep breath as I felt him pushing against me. I was not prepared for what I felt, as in I felt nothing at all but a sweet and calming sensation. There was no pain just pleasure. I felt him sliding in and out occasionally gaining speed and ferocity. His speed and force were bliss, the feeling was something of pure wonder as he began to finish. We were both drawing near to releasing so we tried to get the most out of it before letting it out. Laying on the floor out of breath we spoke to each other.
"Wow, I see why Molly keeps you around."
"I get told that a lot. Well it was a fun time indeed but I must elsewhere, good day"
I wasn't done with him yet, oh no. I got up then started mounting him.
"W-w-wait round 2? Shouldn't I be on top?"
"Nope, i'm in control now!"
"Oh dear..."
I can assure you banging him is not as fun as it is getting banged by him, I meant it felt fantastic but lacking in some aspects. He also doesn't last all that long when on top of him, granted his red face was actually kinda adorable. Like he goes from tough to frail the moment you decide you want to own him. Kinda funny in a weird sense.
Well I can conclude he is one of the best lays I ever had, and would not be afraid to do it with him again. I just need to make sure I have at least a pocket fan with me 24/7.
The logs of a Radio Co-Host
I saw her. The thing that's been plaguing the dreams of everyone in the crew. The being that has been in my dreams at night, corrupting them into something dark and fowl. I honestly thought her existence was all in my head, like just something that was repressed in the back of my mind from the worst of childhood but no. This being is the one all ponies fear in the night, the one where that was locked away on the moon for a thousand years, the one that should have been defeated by Twilight Sparkle and her friends. Yet here she was, sitting before me and the rest of the crew where princess Luna was sitting. The being of true darkness herself, Nightmare Moon.
She was tall, as tall as Molly with a night sky black coat. Her mane and tail flew around like smoke as she moved and around her were pieces of what I could only assume were armor with a helmet resting on her head. Her wings were much different than a pegasus or a normal alicorn, they looked sharper like they could cut something if it brushed up against them. Her eyes were cat-like and a bright shade of blue but her most prominent feature was her teeth. Her teeth were pointy with a massive set of fangs on each side of her upper jaw, she looked like a damn vampire.
It was frightening really seeing the manifestation of nightmares in the same room as you. Nightmare Moon has been in everyone's mind for weeks, giving everyone bad dreams and true fear in the night. However to be honest i'm not sure which is worse how she acts in our dreams or how she acts in real life.
In the real world she's almost exactly like Molly, hyper sexual but less afraid to pull you in and force herself on you. She loves tormenting people like that especially since her hair can change into tentacles. What's even odder about her is her drastic contrast to her host like Luna is all innocent and pure but here we have Moon who is willing to bend anyone over and fuck them just so she can satisfy herself. I guess when you're trapped on the moon for a thousand years you get an itching for sexual attention and will get it by any means. Hell she even forced some of her "tentacles" on me cause she wanted a reaction out of me.
So here she is sittin in the studio talking on the radio with Molly not giving a shit she's there and me being targeted for her jokes and abuse. She treated me like Molly would treat Gonzo, like I was her own sex bitch. I even mentioned that I wasn't Gonzo when she started and the response bothered me.
"And i'm not Molestia"
She said other things to me as well like:
"Did you know the nightmare gives me infinite stamina Kiba?"
"Wanna hear something that rhymes with tentacles? Rape~"
And that sort of jazz, mostly aimed at me. Why? I have no fuckin clue I guess i'm just the comic relief of a story in someone's head and they love watching me suffer. Something to note was that the people in the Twitch chat absolutely adored her, like at least 5 of the 20 something people in the chat wanted her to keep messing with the people in the show. Glad to see that there are some people in the world that want to see evil have full control of everything, if I ever met them outside the show i'm gonna give them a piece of my hoof.
She bothered Gonzo as well and hell even hit on her own sister, but can I really call Nightmare Moon her sister? I mean even though she is controlling Princess Luna Nightmare Moon seems to be her own entity like a one way parasite. Anyway the point is she showed up, started harassing everyone then left. That's literally all she did and i'm thankful that it's now over. My concern now is if she decides to give us all nightmares tonight. Gee whiz I hope not cause I don't think any sane person would want to have a nightmare.....unless it's a nightmare from the "Nightmare On Elm Street" movies.
I still can't get over the fact that she still has a presence in the castle even after being defeated by the elements of harmony. Not just the fact she can take over Luna at will but the fact she's powerful enough to force dreams to become nightmares. One day I hope to understand why she does this but at this rate I might never know. I also want to know how the fuck Luna stays pure when Nightmare takes over her mind, it's nothing more than a mental and slightly physical change. Unless the physical changes fix up her nether regions when she turns back into Luna but I'm not a doctor or magic researcher so I won't be able to know for sure.
Anyway so that was my experience with Nightmare Moon, hopefully that's the last I see of her. Doubtful but considering the shit i've seen since joining the show it's the best I can hope for.
The logs of a Radio Co-Host
HOLY SHIT I DID SOMETHING CRAZY, LIKE I'M TERRIFIED OF WHAT I DID BECAUSE I HAVE NO WAY TO FIX IT AHHH.
Ok so I took a bit of a breather to try and regain myself and it seems to have worked. Anyway I did something odd not to long ago, something that shouldn't have been possible for me like at all. So I guess I should probably explain what I did and how I did it right? Alrighty!
So I was out in the back of my dispensary installing the new greenhouse I had ordered so I could expand my growing space as I grow my own product so that the customers get the purest form of the stuff. After building the greenhouse I went in to retrieve the plants I was going to start growing in there. I set them up in rows based on height and the amount of leaves produced, I also threw in some seeds for a few new types like Dragon Wish, Eden and Moonbeams which each seed packet claimed a few months to grow.
Funny thing about me is that even though I studied and work with plants i'm not the most patient pony ever so a couple months to sell something is definitely something that bothers me. Now there are spells that allow plants to grow quicker sure but more often than not they have side effects that could affect the way the plant grows. Like a flower bloomed quickly will have a messed up stem or leaves or a tree grown will have severe growths on it. I tried with one of my lesser products and not only did it kill the stuff in it that gives you the high but it turned the plant orange. Yes you heard right ORANGE !
So yeah you can see why I wouldn't want to do that to the new seeds. Anyway I was walking back to my desk when a thought came into my mind.
"Why not ask the princess for the most effective growth spell she has?"
It was a perfect plan! Since the princess is over 1000 years old she must know of a perfect spell that would help me. I turned on the auto sprinklers in the greenhouse, grabbed my saddlebag and a few freelance bones and set off to the castle.
I was halfway through my first bone when I made it to the castle, I walked in and saw Molly in the main foyer. I walked up to her hoping to get the info I needed.
"Hey Molly can I ask you something?"
"Yes Kiba we can fuck later~"
"NOT THAT!"
"Then what?"
"Do you know any plant growing spells?"
"If I tell you can we fuck later?"
"Yeah sure."
"Oooooh~ Check the Library."
"Thanks Princess!"
"Sure thing Kiba, meet me in my bed chambers around 9 and bring chocolates~"
I maneuvered through the castle seeking the library, you'd think since I live here i'd know my way around but sadly that's not the case......I totally didn't accidentally use the map as a paper for my weed.
After a few minutes and a few angry moments I finally found the library. The library was a massive room, white interior with large windows on each wall. The shelves reached to the ceiling and every shelf contained dozens of well kept books. I searched for any book that labeled "Plant growth" on the cover. I couldn't find any book in the basic section so I checked the advanced section. There they had books on advanced magic barriers, teleportation and for some reason advanced cuddling. I knew this section would be where I would find what I was looking for!
I found nothing. I couldn't find any new spells that would help me at all. I would be angrier but I did learn the spells for advanced teleportation and magic barriers, never know when those will come in handy. I got up from the table and begun to make my way to the exit of the library when I noticed a book out of place on one of the shelves.
How strange I thought, why was a book about secret doors doing in the friend magic section? I yanked the book out and as I did that the shelf moved inward revealing a secret passageway. Why has no one ever looked there? I mean it's literally in plain sight!
I walked into the room, inside was more shelves with not so well kept books on each shelf. The place was made of hard stone, candles littered the walls and tables with mostly burnt wicks. I walked through the room looking at all the books, nothing too interesting. I walked until I saw a shelf with a single book on it.
"What is this? The book of Hidden Spells? Written by Starswirl the bearded?"
I looked at the cover, it had gashes and dents with the occasional scratch. The spine was in no better condition as the entire spine was almost completely gone. I was curious about this book, I wanted to know what knowledge it held and if it had the spell I was looking for. I threw it in my saddlebag and teleported my way out of the library.
I was at my dispensary when I started studying the book. All the writing was old and smudged but if you tried you could read what it said. As I broke attention from the book I looked at the clock, 7:45. I needed to get the chocolates and see the princess soon. I decided i'd return the book after I was done with the princess so I lit a blunt and walked to the castle with the opened book in front of me.
Now this is around the time where things get a lil hazy, you see I have many stands of product in my dispensary and one i've been making was called Forbidden Fruit. It has an effect where the user ends up as people say "Tripping balls" and if it's powerful enough it could cause the user to fall unconscious. I accidentally mixed a blunt of Fruit with my normal sunlight bones and smoked it on my way back to the castle.
I woke up a few hours later, head hurting and wondering what happened. As I regained sight I noticed I was in the castle's garden, with the book wide open in front of me. As I began to regain control of my senses completely I felt a cold sensation behind me. I turned to loo and see what it was and I nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw it for the first time.
Behind me was a dark, swirling mass about 5ft around. I had no idea what it was and how it got there......until I grabbed the book. I read the page that was open.
It said the following:
"The void. A dark place where nothing but endless darkness resides. The Nightmare Void was created when light first came to the world. I know very little about this place and why it can be opened, all I know is that studying it may be impossible. I opened the void in my secret chambers with the ancient spell. I entered the void and saw nothing but dark blue and black as far as the eye could see. It took a lot of my magic to open so I might as well see how this thing works and it seemed harmless enough"
"I was dead wrong, this space.....it's where she lived! I had to close the void as soon as possible, didn't help it was getting bigger as each moment passed. I managed to close it with the spell I will write in soon enough. I just hope no one ever opens the void ever again."
I was concerned, why was this written here? If you didn't want people opening it then why the hell did you write how to do it? Either way I needed to get rid of this thing before thing others saw it. I turned to the next page only to see it was ripped out. I couldn't close this thing. I was screwed if this gets out that I opened this thing so I ran back to the dispensary and cried.
Update:
The princess sent guards to look for me, I assumed they were sent to imprison me for opening the Nightmare Void but I was wrong.. They were sent to bring me to her bed chambers cause the princess was sick of waiting for me.
Eventually the void was found, and I got mixed reactions from everyone. Molly and Cyclone were impressed that I managed to pull it off while Vlad and Sharpwing were weary.
"You sure you have no idea on how you opened this thing?"
"If I had known what I was doing I wouldn't have opened it!"
"I'll head back to my complex and study this thing."
I opened a portal of unknown power that even Starswirl the bearded couldn't understand, how did I do it? I'm not that magically adept......am I?
The logs of a Radio Co-Host
Who I am and where I came from
A lot of people seem to be confused with who I am and what I do so i'll give you the rundown.
In short I am Kiba Kush owner of Kiba's Kush Dispensary. In long term it's a bit more complicated than that. I guess I should start with my childhood.
I was born the 21st of November in 1996 under the name Punchin Numbers, I was completely different back then, hell my mane and tail weren't even green. I was raised by my mom Number Chart who was a pegasus and my dad Roman Numeral who was a unicorn. I had a sister as well, Digit was her name. She was 6 years older than me, a pegasus and of course was the family fave.
I spent the first few years of my life in Manehattan, my dad owned the calculator company "Num's Classic Calcs" and my mom was the boss of a perfume company named "Lé Poné". We lived in a massive apartment in the higher part of Manehattan with a balcony looking over the city.
My dad had plans for me even when I was young. He wanted me to become an accountant under the sole idea of not paying one at the time, thus he sent me to different schools to learn how to become one. Both my parents wanted me to be a success by any means necessary. I couldn't mingle with others because I was too busy studying and working. It was a nightmare!
The only thing that brought me solace in my home was a group of potted plants on the balcony. I took care of them whenever I had free time. They were bright red amaryllises and speckled daisies, rather rare in Manehattan but my family was rich so they had there ways of getting things. I guess they were what started my change.
I think what made things worse for me was how they treated me over my sister. They held her in such high regard it's not even funny, like we're talkin they would flaunt her around and show her off as the next big thing in the world. She was a model mom would use to show off her products and she was in a few fashion mags. While I was more often than not face first in a book or writing the number tables over and over again. Granted it was the attention she got that bothered me not the mare herself. My sister and I actually got along rather well. We treated each other well and since we grew up together she was the only one I could truly relate to.
I was seven when my training was complete, I was an accountant and I was helping my mom and dad with their finances. It only took me four months of the same old shit to realize I needed to get out of there. I still remember the day I planned my getaway, my mom was invited to a gathering to show off her new perfume products in the Lé Poné line. I couldn't see another time better than that to get away considering my mom was a massive social butterfly and there was a high chance of her not paying attention to my sister and I. I knew how I was gonna do it, I was gonna wait until we got there then let my mom get distracted. Then while she was distracted I was gonna make a break for it right to the train station, buy a train ticket and get the hell out of Manehattan before my family could notice.
I didn't care if things went south, anything was better than the life I was given.
The day of the gathering was upon us, my mom was aching to go. She gathered the prototype products and rushed us along and forced us into a limo-esq buggy. We drove up to the event and as I suspected, the place was full of people. Just enough for me to run into the crowd and get away. We got out of the buggy and started making our way to the main building. My mom noticed a group of her colleagues and began to socialize. I knew if I didn't break now I would never get another chance. I checked to see if my mom was paying attention to me which of course she wasn't. I got ready to sprint when something yanked on my back left leg. I turned to notice my sister looking at me.
"Where are you going little brother?"
"Away from here Digit, away from this life!"
"B-but bro-"
"Look Digit if I don't do this i'll never have another chance of freedom, I don't want to be an accountant for the rest of my life! I want to make something of myself, something I'm happy with!"
"It hurts to think of a life without you. But I know how things are with you and our parents so i'm not gonna stop you, just please don't forget about us...."
"I won't Digit, if they ask you where I went you can tell them all you want but they'll never catch me. Good bye sis i'll miss you!"
Once she dropped her magic on my leg I bolted into the crowd. I never looked back, didn't want to either because if I did I would see my sister looking at me with tears in her eyes. I ran from street to street occasionally taking a moment to catch my breath before running again. I wouldn't stop until I reached the train station, hopefully whoever was behind the counter was dumb enough to sell a train ticket to a child.
Nothing much happened after that really, I bought the ticket and got on a train to the farthest place I could go. The place in particular was Canterlot. Too pristine for my tastes but anywhere was better than Manehattan. I enrolled in Princess Molestia's School of gifted unicorns to keep myself from being homeless so I guess I did have a small history with the princess.
While there I had my first true experience with plants. I learned how to tend to them and grow them properly. Hell it even got me my cutie mark! However believe it or not I didn't try kush until I was much older.
I tried it when I was twelve, I met with a group of ponies and one of them had the stuff with him. He lit it up and let me take a few puffs and my god it was awful.......at first. The taste became more and more desireable after a few times smoking the stuff. I began studying the stuff. How it's grown, ways to help it grow and how to harvest it. I was not gonna get in trouble because the shit was legal in Canterlot.
Then came the day of the change, when I decided to go full force. I was walking through the main school hallway when I stumbled upon a conversation held by Princess Luna and a stallion in a suit.
"If you hear of a young Punchin Numbers give us a call your highness."
"I will loyal subject, thank you"
As I began to walk away I heard the princess.
"You ran away didn't you?"
I took a moment to realize she was talking about me.
"I know you're there, it is most impolite to ignore a princess. So i'll ask again, you ran away didn't you?"
" Yes.....yes I did, but please princess don't let them know i'm here!/color]"
"You realise that I have to tell them right?"
"Princess please i'll do anything if you don't tell them i'm here! I don't want to be a number cruncher for the rest of my life!"
"Anything?"
"Yes anything!"
"Change some aspects about yourself. Like change your mane and tail color or change your coat color. They won't be able to recognize you if you don't look like how you use to look."
"Princess?"
"Also might want to change your name that also helps. Now it is past curfew so i'll escort you to your bed chambers."
After a few minutes of walking with the princess we stood outside my dorm room.
"Now before you go young Punchin Numbers, I want you to promise me one thing."
"Yes your highness?"
"The conversation we had never happened, agreed?"
"Agreed your highness."
"Good now get to bed young one, have a good night."
I took what she said to heart, next day was the beginning of my new life, the life I was gonna build for myself. I went to the local courthouse to get my name legally changed. I thought long and hard for this and in the end I picked a name I knew I would love.
Kiba Kush
I then went to a mane stylist and got my mane and tail permanently dyed green and had it trimmed thus I was ready to begin my new life!
Funny now I look back on my life and how it went thus far. I went from a weak unicorn being forced into work as an accountant to becoming the pony who not only owns one of the most successful dispensaries in Equestria but became a member of one of the best radio shows in the world!
I think I can say I made a good life for myself.
The logs of a Radio Co-Host
What i'm about to write down is what I could consider the worst time of my life. I had hit the bottom of the barrel and there was no means of going through it. What I can say is the worst three days of my life.
It started out smoothly, Princess Luna and Princess Molestia had decided to change places for the night and act as each other. It was cute seeing Luna try to be the sex fiend that Molly is and watching Molly try to play innocent was just plain funny. Gonzo, Lunar Flourish, Steve, Sharpwing, Lesbee, Amaretto and I were watching and adding our witty commentary as usual. Gonzo was struggling to read the news as everyone would be louder than the poor guy. I was smokin and eating my pizza rolls and Amaretto was being well Amaretto. Sharpwing I couldn't tell ya what he was doin mainly because a lot of the stuff he does confuses me but hey he's cool so I let it slide. Steve and Lesbee were tending to Lesbees pet Boo Boo Keys and Flourish was reading.
Things were fine, like legit fine....until the 40 minute mark of the stream rolled around. Ana anonymous question asked about eclipses and Luna mentions that there was an eclipse occurring, we all look out the window to see a beautiful sight, the moon moving in front of the sun. Afterwards Luna starts convulsing, moaning and squirming in her seat. The sound of Luna's suffering quickly changed to darkened and malicious laughter. In her seat was not Luna......but Nightmare Moon.
I was stunned, Nightmare called for the bumpers to play and muted the show. She called in guards to take Molly to the dungeon and had us all shackled to the table. She then drew a whip out from under the table and began the show again by whipping us. Constant whipping and pain to those that would defy her. However the only ones that didn't give in where Sharpwing and I, not sure what that says about the work staff but I digress. Nearing the end of the stream I spit in Nightmare Moons face.....she didn't take it lightly. She began violently and quickly whipping me as hard as she could before Sharpwing got in the way of her.
As the stream closed Sharp and I were moved to the dungeon, we were moved to different rooms as to keep communication with each other to a minimum and I assume she wanted us to hear our screams of pain. The room I was in was dark, cobblestone walls with hooks and chains stuck to them. The only thing that was different was a massive barred window with the eclipse in plain view, a sort of insult to anyone that went against Moon I assume. In the distance I could hear the faint sounds of Molly's moans(Pain or pleasure you could never tell with her), animal growls and Sharpwing cursing at the top of his lungs.
My mind raced, thinking about everything and everyone. I was worried about everyone sure but I was more concerned about Vlad and Lucker, they weren't at the studio and no one has seen them since. Hell Nightmare showed a bit of fear knowing Vlad wasn't around so she sent her best hunters after him. But that left Lucker, the simple human with lil to no means of defending himself from Nightmare Moon's forces. I hope they're both ok.....
Throughout the hours of my imprisonment I would be visited by Nightmare Moon looking to make me squeal and call her my queen. I was too proud to actually call her that because if it meant drawing the attention of the demon and keeping her from hurting my friends then it was worth every hit I took.
Whipping, beating and stabbing, that was most of my torture while Nightmare did things to Sharp eve I couldn't explain. She dubbed us her "Toys" and tried to find new ways to break us. If we suffered too much pain to the point where we'd grow numb to it she would heal us then proceed to do it again.
After some time Sharp and I were moved from the dungeon back to the recording room so we could do "Nightmare Radio" along with some of the peeps that chose to side with her. Mademe Velvet a gypsy that claims to be neutral was there because Amaretto had to check on Lucky Charm because he drove into a pole and was badly injured. I doubted her neutrality because she gave Nightmare cat o' nine tails and knives to aid in torturing Sharp and I on the radio, hell she even rubbed salt in my wounds. Yeah we were on live so anyone listening would know what happens to ponies that defy her rule.
Granted we had ponies in the chat demanding Nightmare let everyone go but that was kinda sad.
The stream ended and once again moved to the dungeon. Things went a lil different this time however, Sharpwing attacked Nightmare Moon. While there epic battle raged on I saw that my cage was made of cardboard.....yeah you heard right, turns out Button was making a weird kink cage and the guards thought it was a real cage. So easily I managed to break out.
I snuck through the castle while Nightmare and the guards were distracted by Sharp and made my way ponyville. My sore body made it difficult to move around but I made it to my destination, the ponyville hospital. My plan was to hide in Lucky Charms room until I could figure out a plan on how to defeat Nightmare Moon.
Since Molly gave me access to the stream channel I was able to start streaming in my phone in hopes the ponies in the chat could help me come up with the plan.
I opened the door to Lucky's room and found myself staring down the barrel of a revolver.
"Freeze! Or you'll get one right between the eyes"
"Don't shoot I am to- Vlad?"
"Kiba?"
"Wait Kiba's here?"
"Lucker! Vlad! You guys are ok!"
"Eh what's goin on?"
It was amazing to see them again, this meant there was a chance that we could take Moon on. My attention was however drawn to the floating man near Lucky Charm, giving him a bottle of whisky.
"Well ain't this a happy lil reunion you got here."
"Who the hell is this guy? And why does he look like a leprechaun?"
"I'm a Luckerpine you weed faced git. If i'm caught I can grant any wish in the world however my wishes cannot be undone unless you catch another wish granting diety."
"Riiiiiiight."
Introductions out of the way we still needed to worry about a plan. None of us were good at strategy so we needed some time to think, time which we didn't actually have.
As it turns out Lucker went into the Everfree and got lost, he found the Luckerpines shrine and caught the bastard. Then Vlad came in to rescue Lucker and also caught the Luckerpine. But sadly they had to come home to the hell that was Nightmares reign.
Time went on as we tried to come up with a plan, we tried to convince Vlad to use the wish to free Luna from Nightmare Moon and stop the bitch but his affection for the demon was too strong so we couldn't. We eventually came up with a plan to head to Complex 9 and hope to any being that Vlads butler/teacher Mastiff was still there. But sadly....plans don't always work out.
"Alright it's time to head to the complex, grab what you need and-"
"Where oh where are my toys?"
In the room came Nightmare Moon with Steve holding Lunar FLourish on a leash. They had found us.
"Oh fuck!"
"Vlad use the wish! Do it!"
"I-I can't...."
"Wow Vlady boy, you're willing to let the whole world and your friends suffer cause of a crush eh? That's pretty sad."
"Take them outside, I want Lucker and Vlad to see what happens when you defy me."
We were pushed outside into the main plaza of Ponyville. Lucker decided to be "Smart" and attack Nightmare Moon, which had him stabbed in the leg. She forced me infront of everyone and began walking towards me.
"Kiba Kush~"
"LEAVE HIM ALONE!"
"Get away from him!"
"Nononononononononononono"
"Say it, say i'm your queen."
"Never!"
"Alright then, you see these pliers Kiba? Open up."
She used her magic to force my mouth open and used the pliers to violently rip two of my teeth out of my mouth. And then tossed me aside like a used toy. That's what we were to her.....just toys for her amusement.
"Kiba you alright?"
"Noooo...."
"You'll pay for that Nightmare!"
"Will I? And what are you going to do Vlad? Fight the one you love oh so much? I doubt it. The luckerpine was right you're pathetic."
We were teleported to the castle, Vlad was forced unto the ground. Nightmare began attacking him furiously never letting up and never slowing down. By the time she was done he had already died, got him in the heart. She began to turn to Lucker when a blast of light came from the window colliding to the side of Nightmare. In through the window entered Sharpwing proud then sad only to find out his attack missed and thus was immediately re-captured by Nightmare.
"Well that ended terribly."
"Atleast you tired, unlike Vlad."
"You know he's dead right?"
"Oh yeah I know, he just oh you know let her live!"
"Wait so Vlad could have ended this whole thing?"
"Oh yes he could, in fact I could have been the one to do it. By the way Sharpwing i'm a Luckerpine, I grant wishes to those who catch me and boy can I-""
The luckerpine froze as he noticed something was holding onto his leg. He turned to see Nightmare holding on to him.
"Well it seems I have caught you Mr. Luckerpine."
"Sadly it seems you did there Moon. What's your wish?"
"Wish for you to fade out of existence?"
"I like that idea."
"I second that."
"Oh no no no my dear toys I have a better wish, now Luckerpine I wish to be immortal."
"Done!"
A magic light surrounded Nightmare Moon, then out of nowhere it just dropped to the ground.
"What is happening? I demand answers!"
"I give ponies what they ask for, not what they wanted. You were already immortal and boom you just wasted the one wish you get from me! Congratulations you moon butted twit!"
"You've got to be fucking kidding me....."
Lucker, Sharpwing and I began laughing hysterically. Of all the things she could wish for, she didn't realise that immortality and invulnerability were two different things. Which to this day still makes me laugh my ass off.
After a good minute of laughing a wave of blue magic struck all of us.
"You think this is funny? I'm going to make all three of your lives a living hell and when you inevitably die due to my brutal torture methods i'm going to resurrect you and proceed to do it again!"
"Worth it!"
"Totally!"
"Couldn't agree more!"
"Well Miss Moon you're gonna have four to play with cause Vlady boy it's time to get up."
The Luckerpine waved his hand over Vlads corpse, soon after Vlad sprung back to life. So we were back to four on the chopping block and Nightmare wanted something else.
"I need relief after this, Lucky Charm your mine!"
"Wait, no! I don't want this! I want my french vixen!"
"Too bad you're pleasing the queen now bitch~"
She carried him away into another room of the castle, leaving the four of us shackled to the ground and waiting on her return. We could hear Lucky Charms cries in the distance.
"Now what? We're gonna get tortured for the rest of our existence and then some."
"We have a plan, Kiba use your magic to grab the phone on the counter there and give it to Vlad."
"No idea what you could possibly be planning but alright."
With a wave of my horn and the green aura surrounding it I grabbed the phone and handed it to Vlad. Vlad proceeded to flip through the contacts and hit the call button. Was around this time that the sounds of Nightmare and Lucky were getting louder. The phone rung until a voice could be heard.
"Hello? Zis is ze Moulin Hooves may I help you?"
"Hey Amaretto listen to what Nightmare moonbutt is doing."
Vlad tossed the phone closest to where the sound of Nightmare and Lucky nearly finishing what they were doing.
"OH HELL NO, ZAT BITCH IS GOING DOWN!"
"Go to my complex Amaretto, it's unlocked and I got stuff you can use there."
"Zis bitch is toast!"
The phone went quiet.
"That's your plan? A pissed Amaretto? The hell can she do?"
"Buy us time until we can figure out a way to escape perhaps."
"Poor Oregano."
"But we need to hold out until she gets here so everyone be strong."
"Alright."
"Got it."
"Like I have a choice."
After I said that crying could be heard in the distance as the sound of metallic hooves drew closer. In the room came Nightmare Moon with an axe, knife, saw and bladed whip.
"Alright so with relief I can handle this situation better, now then who laughed? Be honest with me."
"I did."
"Same here."
"Laughing at you is fun, just as much as spitting in your-"
As I said that Nightmare lashed the whip at me, hitting my left flank. I screamed the second loudest I ever screamed in my life.
"If I was alive at the time I would have laughed too."
"Oh yes that reminds me, time to put this bad dog to sleep, permanently!"
Nightmare drove the knife right into Vlads chest near where his heart would be and began cutting. His screams of pain echoed throughout the room bringing a haunting feeling of despair and and anguish. She began tearing at his body until his heart was visible and vary slowly started cutting the veins holding it in place.
"So Vlad did you know that if you lose your heart the brain still has four minutes of oxygen and blood running through it? That means we still have 3 minutes to play little doggy."
"Oh we'll play alright!"
Vlad bursted from the floor breaking his chains.
"What's going on here? I demand to know!"
"Remember when when I was possessed and we fought my grandfather? I got his ability to live without my heart! And removing the heart nulls emotion too so that means i'm not against ending your reign right here, right NOW"
Vlad ran at Moon and a brawl begun yet sad to say it didn't last long. After a few minutes Vlad was down again yet Nightmare Moon still stood.
"A feeble attempt indeed, I think a punishment is in order. Oh Kiba Kush~"
She called to me as she picked up the axe she brought, she began walking towards me.
"Wait no! Get away from me you monster!"
"Leave him alone! I'm the one you want not him!"
"Tell me Kiba, tell me i'm your queen and i'll leave you alone."
"You know that will never happen!"
"Alright then instead of telling me that, tell me how it feels to lose a limb!"
Nightmare Moon brought the axe down on my left hind leg and lobbed it off.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
She picked up the leg and tossed it across the room with me crying on the floor.Everyone was in shock, no remarks, no jokes just pure silence as Moon began cleaning the axe. Vlads ears perked up then he began to speak.
"Hey Moon you think you've won?"
"Why yes I do Vlad, I rule everything!"
"Well you made a grave mistake Nightmare, one Molly made and by god was she lucky she was friends with her."
I then realized what he was talking about, he heard her coming.
"What do you mean?"
"Kiba you think you're ok enough to explain to her?"
"I got this-ah- tell me Nightmare what happens when you have sex? You enjoy it right?"
"Yes, what are you getting at?"
"What happens when-ah- you have sex with a married stallion? You wind up pissing off the spouse. Oh and might-ow- I mention that since you-aaahhhh- raped poor Lucky Charm you pissed off the mare with the hottest temper in all the kingdom!"
The door bursted open revealing a heavily armed Amaretto. Literally armed to the teeth and out for nightmare blood.
"YOU STEPPED IN IT NOW NIGHTMARE! YOU MESSED WITH ZE WRONG MARRIED MARE, I'M ZE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY NOW BITCH!"
"Get away from me you-AH"
Amaretto jumped at Nightmare and began viciously beating her down, with Moon weakened by her fight with Vlad so Amaretto had less of a challenge. As Amaretto was doing this the Luckerpine appeared and begun freeing us from the shackles that held us down. Sharpwing ran to the barracks and Vlad tended to my wounds.
The dust settled and the castle was damn near demolished. Entire chunks of the castle were missing and the stained windows were shattered. On the floor near a hyperventilating Amaretto laid a cowering Princess Luna, I to the best of my ability ran to her. Vlad and I lifted her up as she was crying, saying "No more" over and over.
"Princess please it's us Kiba Kush and Vlad."
"Kiba Kush! Vlad!"
She began hugging us closely, crying as she did. Her tears landing on the ground where Nightmare Moon's helmet stood motionless and fragile. I took my right fore hoof and brought it down on the helmet, breaking it and causing it to shatter. Luna released us from the hug and got up. She began freaking out when she saw that my left back leg was missing and as she was freaking out I fell over. A hand reached out to lift me up.
"Here ya go lad, no need to be on the ground after a victory like that!"
I was listed off the ground and was about to free my hoof until the Luckerpine stopped me.
"Well my boy it seems ya caught me, what be your wish? I assume to get your leg back so here ya go!"
My rear left leg began re-attaching itself to my body and shortly after I had my leg back good as new! Luna walked up to the Luckerpine and grabbed his arm.
"Mr. Luckerpine, I have you in my hooves so does this mean I get a wish?"
"Why indeed it does your highness, what can I do for you my dear?"
"Bring Nightmare Moon in front of me, I wish to speak with her."
"Excuse me? I don't usually question wishes but may I ask why?"
"I want to understand her, I want to know why she exists."
"Alrighty then, everyone be on your guard cause anything could happen."
With a wave of the Luckerpines hand Nightmare Moon wrapped in ethereal chains appeared in front of everyone. She was growling violently spewing threats and hateful words. That is until Luna walked up to her.
"So you're the one that was living in my mind for all this time."
"And you're the sad little girl that created me."
"I don't understand you, what you are and why I created you. I was hoping you could help me understand you."
"What's there to understand? I'm your anger and jealousy personified. You're wasting your time Luna."
As soon as she said that her body went staticy for a second.
"What was that? What's happening?"
"I can explain, your current body can't exist in this world so you're going to fade out of existence. So I guess it's time we can finally say that this is the end of a nightmare."
"NO I DON'T WANT TO FADE!"
Nightmare was freaking out as the static happened more and more often. To be honest I kinda felt bad for her, only ever having hate and jealousy in her life limited the possibility she had if she were alive and now she's going to cease to exist. I can tell Luna was upset about the idea too cause she started tearing up.
"No I won't let you fade! You were my hate and now i'm going to change that!"
"what can we do? We can't do anything about it."
"There's got to be something. Luckerpine what are the possibilities?"
"Well there are a few things, 1. You can allow her to keep existing in your mind but she will be no different then she's been, 2. Make her physical but there is a great chance she could kill all of you if that happens or 3. Put her in another pony. Either way things won't really be different."
Then Amaretto bursted to the scene and ran right up to the Luckerpine.
"I have an idea. why not turn her into a filly?"
"WHAT?"
"Then not only will she be physical but she will also not have any of her powerful magic."
"Oooooh that idea is perfect!"
"And we can teach her how to be a normal pony! Oh joyous day!"
With a wave of the Luckerpines hands Nightmare Moon shrunk to the size of a filly, the static ended ceased and she was normal child alicorn. To say she hated the change is like saying that grass is green and the sky is blue. But it was the best thing we could come up with. Soon after the sun begun to rise with Molly walking up to us.
"PRINCESS!" Everyone screamed as she made her way to us. We looked around to see that most of the castle was in fact destroyed and that bits were still coming down. I was crushed by the tub and a falling pillar, why me? No idea. Vlad offered us rooms at the complex and the Luckerpine rebuilds the castle with the agreement that the Luckerpine can put his shrine in the castle.
After we made it to the complex we began streaming Radio Molly once again and things seemed fine.
Update:
So it's been a few weeks since then and everyone has made a full recovery. Molly is still walking funny but her bruising healed, Lucker has opened his own library with Lunar FLourish, Vlad and Sharp have been working on ways of dealing with nightmares incase something similar happened and I have completely healed. I haven't had decent sleep in a while but everything should be fine, oh and my dispensary is rebuilt to! Made of fire marble so it's burn resistant.
I'm just glad that hell is over and it's a brand new day.
The logs of a Radio Co-Host
I woke up from this.....I can't even think right at the moment.
I should mention that after the Nightmare Radio incident i've been having issues sleeping at night. My dreams start happy but end with Nightmare Moon trying to harm me. My friends kept telling me "Kiba you have ptsd you really need to get it checked." And I would tell them that it's not true but after tonight I am writing an appointment with the castles psychiatrist.
I was in my bed, I was finishing my final blunt of the night and Lucker was settling in his bunk. Rain tapping the window turned into a thunderstorm and lightning flashed. As Lucker was about to nod off the sleep the sound of breaking glass rang through the halls.
"Kiba did you hear that?"
"Yes I did, sounded like it came from the main throne room."
"Should we investigate?"
"Yeah, grab a blunt object."
Lucker grabbed a plank of wood that was left over after building out bunk beds and I grabbed a knife I keep in my dresser drawer. We made our way to the throne room as lightning flashed and thunder roared. The darkened castle was quite the haunting sight with all the dark blues you see from the windows.
As we approached the throne room we heard more glass shatter, meaning there was someone in there and we had to face them. We made it to the door leading into the room and we prepared to run in.
"Alright on the count of three we run in."
"Alright then, one."
"Two."
"THREE!"
We rush into the throne room with weapons in hand and hoof and as we did a massive flash of lightning shines from the window, blinding Lucker and I for a bit. We looked around till our eyes adjust to the darkness in the room. As sight returned to our eyes we saw in the middle of the room Princess Molestia lying on the ground with Princess Luna crying next to her. We ran to the princesses sides.
"What happened?"
"My dear sister was attacked by something in the darkness.....She's dead...."
Lucker and I backed away in shock. How could Molly have died? Why did she have to die? Who could have done this? I couldn't believe it, one of the greatest ponies in my life and she's gone.
"We gotta find who did this, they can't be far!"
"You're right,they aren't."
Luna's voice suddenly got deeper and more aggressive. A flash of dark blue light from her horn and I was sent flying into one of the marble columns in the room. As I started to get up I heard Lucker scream, I looked in the direction of the scream. I saw Luna using her magic to hold Lucker by his neck.
"You know Lucker, i'm kind of sad I never got to torture you like I did the others a while back. Oh well atleast I can take your life~"
In an instant I heard the sounds of bones cracking and Lucker screaming, a flash of lightning revealed the whole scene in my eyes as the final snap echoed through the castle and Luckers screams ceased. His body was dropped to the ground with a violent thud and soon after the sound of Luna laughing. I ran to Lucker, with tears in my eyes I held his arm hoping to some high being that this wasn't happening and that Lucker wasn't actually dead.
"You cry for that hairless ape? Wow you're an unfortunate fool."
"Luna.....Why are you doing this? What's wrong with you?"
"There's plenty wrong with me Kiba Kush~ Glad you noticed."
I looked at her, I looked into her eyes and saw they were cat-like and bright blue. Her wings changing into sharper and longer versions of themselves. She began to grow taller to around Molly's height with her horn elongating to a sharp and fine point. I realised what was happening and a frigid cold chill filled the room.
"Oh my god...."
"Did you miss me Kiba Kush? The look on your face says yes~"
I bolted from the room. I didn't care where I was going as long as I was away from her. I began to turn a corner only to see her walking up the hall.
"What's wrong Kiba Kush? My whip is ready~"
I ran the other way, I had to get away from her. As I ran I looked ahead and saw the door that leads to the main garden. There was my plan, if I could get outside i'd have a better chance of getting away from her and finding help. A flash of lighting came from the windows and as the flash faded I stopped. I looked and saw her standing in front of the door. She began laughing at me.
"Do you really think you can escape me Kiba Kush? You don't have a prayer!"
I could only run the other way. I ran from hallway to hallway until I ended up in a big room. The room was massive with a staircase leading down to a giant door. I realised I was on the second floor of the foyer. Knowing I was almost home free I ran to the stairs. As I got there a dark flash of blue light sent me flying to the bottom floor. I was laying on my back in pain but I tried to get up as the door wasn't too far from me. I then felt a metal plate forced down on my chest from above me. A flash of lighting from the sky light and Nightmare was holding me down with her hoof. I was at her complete control.
"You always were my favorite toy Kiba Kush~ That way you screamed as I whipped and beat you was pure bliss. I think when I take over the kingdom again I might make you my own personal torture pet. And I see now as a great time to get that ball rolling so get ready my toy because it's about to get fun!"
I began screaming, pleading for help from someone. My vision blurred in and out.
"Wake up..."
I thought I heard something under Nightmare Moon's laughter.
"Wake up kiba..."
As I heard that, Nightmare reared up the whip and was about to strike me. I closed my eyes in anticipation
"KIBA WAKE UP DAMMIT."
I opened my eyes, I jumped up and started hyperventilating. Looking around I saw I was in my bed with Lucker, Molly and Vlad next to me.
"Oh thank goodness you finally woke up."
"We were worried, Lucker came to us when he said you were screaming in your sleep."
"He had a nightmare, and judging by how Kiba is right now, it was a bad one."
"You feeling ok there Kiba?"
I jumped out of my bed and began hugging them. I wanted them near me after what had happened. After a couple hours they left the room to prepare for the day and I just sat in my bed. I never want to sleep again if I am going to see something like that again. I don't even know why i'm writing it down in my logs to be honest. But this is easily one of the worst experiences of my life. If going to the therapist doesn't work then I might just smoke dragon wish before I go to bed every night.
I just hope I can beat these nightmares before they get any worse than this......
The logs of a Radio Co-Host
I don't know how to start this page so i'll give myself the benefit of the doubt and try........I met a mare....
Shocking right? Kiba Kush the guy that hangs out with Princess Molestia daily, the guy that use to take frequent trips to the "fun place" when he earned an extra amount at work and wanted to relax, the guy that claimed he was a loner is now falling head over hooves for this mare. I can't describe why or how I feel other then happy.
Now as someone that is associated with the Princess I often times have to accompany her to events and such when her higher ups are incapacitated from the night prior due to Molly's uncontrollable libido. Molly took me to a modeling agency along with Lucker and Amaretto, she was asked to pose for some pics along with other models of comparison. We arrived to the agency at 2:30ish in the afternoon and we were escorted in. We walked down beige and brown glazed hallways until we reached one of the many studios in the building. Inside the room were racks of different clothes and lingerie meant for mares of above average size and height along with cameras and lights. Soon after we entered the room a blue mare with a white mane and tail wearing a black, white and pink dress along with massive sunglasses covering her eyes completely.
"It's time to make ze FASHION! Molly my dear it's been way too long."
"Oh Photo Finish you doll it has, how have the rest of the mares been?"
"They've been asking about you, anyhow we must get ready also who are they?"
"Photo this is Kiba Kush and Lucker, they're members of my sexy crew~ You already know Amaretto."
"Tis nice to see you again Photo Finish."
"Hello there, it's nice to meet you."
"Sup."
"Alright zen, bring in the mares it's camera time!"
A mass amount of mares came flooding into the room way too many to count. Molly got ready and was joined by other mares infront of the camera. As a stallion with fuck all care for fashion seeing both Lucker and Amaretto conversing with others I decided I was gonna wonder off and check the place out. It was boring thats all you need to know, the only things to look at in this place are the models and even then thats kind of a federal offense.
I wondered around and to my eyes I saw a glass door leading outside with a plaque in the center that read "Botanical Garden". I didn't hesitate to check it out. I walked through the door and was hit with many shades of white and red. Dahlias and Cannas, Lily of the vallys and plumerias. Seemed to just have a red and white motif which was just plain boring, like seriously you need more then just red and white!
"Wow even the garden is boring! There is place needs more! Maybe a sunflower or a few hydrangeas would be nice but fuck me thats too good for this place!"
"I think the flowers here are nice, lacking but nice."
I jumped at the sound of a mares voice behind me, I turned around to see......Her.....
A tall unicorn mare, her coat a pale white, her main and tail two different shades of pink along with pink eyes and light purple eye shadow.
"I uh, well it certainly is l-lacking indeed miss uh erm-"
"Fluer De Lis, but you can call me Fluer. Comment vous appelezvous?"
"I'm Kiba K-Kush, I own the dispensary in lower Canterlot."
"The one that burned down recently? I'm so sorry that happened to you."
"It's fine, it's since been rebuilt."
"Merveilleux, hey since you work with plants and judging by your funny little rant i'd assume you know your plants can you help me with something?"
"S-s-s-s-ssure, what's up?"
She lead me to an area of the garden I had not seen, an area where a single plant was growing. A red flower drooping down with white flowing from the bottom in the shape of a heart.
"I've been curious about this flower for a while and I really want to know what it is, can you help me?"
"That plant is a bleeding heart Fluer, easily a beauty in the garden.....but not quite as beautiful as you."
I covered my mouth with my hooves the moment I finished saying that. I didn't know what came over me, only thing on my mind was her. The beautiful mare that was standing in front of me.
"Merci, you're not to bad yourself. Well I must go for now Kiba, it was nice meeting you."
"L-l-l-likewise."
Before she left she handed me a card with a number on it. My heart was racing, my mind going blank and I almost lost control of my body. She was one of the most beautiful mares I ever met in my life.
I hope I get to see more of her, she's so beautiful.........
Update:
She and I started hanging out more. I applied for a job at the agency as a gardener and thus she and I met up at a cafe near the place to hang out while i'm in break. She has quite a speaker.....oh her voice is so elegant......
She even likes weed, doesn't like smoking it but she agrees it has healing properties and is not dangerous to ponies or anyone really. Next time I see her i'm gonna ask her out.....I hope she says yes.....
The logs of a Radio Co-Host
The day I ask her out with a date to go!
I ASKED HER OUT AND SHE AGREED TO IT!
At first I was just content with knowing her but something drew me to her, she had an aura of attraction to her that pulled me in and I didn't mind. She and I had been talking for a while after my first trip to the agency and got a job there as a gardener.
I should mention that most of the ponies their see me as a "street punk" due to my lack of bits and elegant housing(granted living in the castle should be MORE then what they got but hey they can live in their fantasy world of high class and rot for all I care) and often times refuse to even speak to me.
So I made my way to the agency with heart in one hoof and a my pride in the other, oh and a home grown rose that I made sure was well taken care of, after all roses can be painful due to the thorns and lets just say my hooves have seen better days. Granted using magic is an option but when working with plants it's best to be as precise as possible and magic isn't always as precise as hooves can be.
As I stood outside the agency I pulled my phone out of my bag and began moving through my contacts until I saw the name Fluer De Lis appear on the screen. I hit the call button and the phone began to ring.
"Hello?"
"Hey Fluer it's Kiba Kush!"
"Kiba! How are you today?"
"I'm doing good, tell me can you meet me in the lobby? I need to tell you something face to face."
"Certainly Kiba, i'll be there in in about 10 min I just need to finish this shoot. See you then Kiba."
"Alright take care."
I hung up the phone and made my way into the building. I sat down in one of the chairs waiting for Fluer to arrive. Ten minutes passed and no sign of her, twenty more and still no show. I got so bored of waiting that I fell asleep in the chair I was sitting in.
After god knows how long I began to wake up again....however I would get quite the wake up. I opened my eyes to see bright pink eyes with light purple eye shadow right in my face.
"OH FU-" I yelled as I fell backwards in my chair.
"Morning sleepy Kush. We saw you asleep and I thought it would be funny to freak you out and judging by the fact you are on the ground it means it worked! Oh magnifiuqe!"
"Yeah yeah...wait we?"
"Yes we you andouille~ Meet Sassy Saddles, she's a good friend of mine."
"So you're the Kiba Kush Fluer here talks a lot about, it's a pleasure to meet you."
"Likewise."
"Anyway Sassy Kiba and I are gonna head off to the garden, I will talk to you later. Au Revoir."
"Later Fluer, Kiba Kush. You two have fun."
As Sassy Saddles walked out of the room Fluer and I made our way to the botanical garden. My pulse was rising with each moment we got closer to the garden. I had to tell her, I had to let her know or i'll hate myself forever. Thousands of thoughts were running around my head all at once. Thoughts of what if she says no or what if this ruins the friendship you already built with her? It was absolutely painful to think about.
We reached the garden, my hooves were shacking as I opened the door leading to the now sunset lit garden. We walked over to the center and I began to speak to her.
"Fluer....theirs something I wanted to tell you and i'm not sure how to put it."
"Is something troubling you? You're shaking Kiba."
"I-i-i-i-i-i'm f-f-f-fine."
"You sure? I'm starting to get worried."
"-Gulp-Fluer.....This is for you...."
I pulled out the rose and handed it over to her. She looked accepted it.
"Oh Kiba C'est si beau~"
"I grew it myself."
I took a few deep breaths and looked her in the eyes.
"Fluer De Lis.....Will you go out with me?"
Her face turned a bright red, she looked around everywhere until finally meeting my gaze again. She walked up to me and wrapped one of her hooves around my neck. She brought her head close to mine, her head fit just right between my head and body. She lifted her head slightly so that her mouth was close to my ear. She only said one thing to me.
"Yes~"
I peeled away from the hug and began running around like I was a child that just got his first piece of candy. I was so happy I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and walked head first into a wall.
"Ow, son of a"
"Oh you are such a goof~"
So yeah, I asked her out and now she and I are scheduled for a date.....I've never been happier.
Update:
The date went AMAZING. She and I went to a fancy restaurant and then for a walk around the castle. She and I had a lot to discuss and we both of us had a great time.......God I love the feelings I get when shes with me.
The logs of a Radio Co-Host
Ok so this one will be short but it needs to be written. There's another human in Equestria.
His name is Jay Lucker and he was literally brought here cause Molly was curious about human sexual attraction. Why she didn't use STYDA was beyond me but hey I don't know her motives.
Lucker is a tall human with blue hair, blue eyes and loves wearing dark colors.......he is so edgy. But he seems to be harmless enough even though he stole a guardsman's helmet and played monkey in the middle with Vlad.
I honestly look forward to hanging out with him, he seems like a really cool friend.
Update 1:
He and I are bunk mates. Molly told him to bunk with me cause I was the only one that had there own room so yeah. He's also on the show and what makes it even weirder is that he and I play off each other really well, like we argue as if we were an old married couple. And people want us to bang but i'm just like no. Unless my bro needs help, bros gotta help each other out.
Update 2:
He literally just built bunk beds out of the beds in the room and he has the top bunk......What the hell anymore.
The logs of a Radio Co-Host
Joke page(For shiz and gigs)
Oh hey Kushy you smoking zat good kush?
Hello i'm Kiba Kush and I like dick, so much dick that it makes Molly the best princess ever jealous
Why are we hacking poor Kiba Kush's logs? This is most unfunny!
Cause it's fun
Hey i'm kiba and I think Gonzo is cooler than me!
This little bitch needs to close his computer when he's done using it, by the way he's at the whore house
Kiba is a true scrublord
I agree with you there Miss Flourish
I love invading personal space~ He wrote a log about me
The fact that he's left it open shows how much of an idiot he is
This is way too much fun
Dear sister please can we leave his logs alone?
But hes a scruuuuuub
Hey let's check his porn folder, it's probably got some hot shit
YES
DO IT
Wait that's not porn, it's group pictures?
This one is of him and I!
Zat is the one I took with him months ago.
That's one we took when we first hung out
That one he took when we went to the water park Lulu
Wait what's this? "My best friends"?
Is that?
Us?
I didn't know he kept that picture
Zis was unexpected
I feel kinda bad now, only a lil bit though
I'm gonna leave this alone, hope he doesn't hate us for this"
I hate all of you right now....