Pony in My Panties (and other crackfics featuring Vinyl and Octavia)

Good Vibrations, Part 2

Celestia's sun shined it's light across Equestria, letting everyone know that a beautiful new day was dawning.

As far as Octavia was concerned, that new day could go and shove it.

Groaning, she moved a hand to alert Vinyl that breakfast was coming (it was the only thing that could wake her up, somedays), only to find nothing was there.

'Oh, right, she had a rave last night. It's, what, six or seven-ish right now? She's probably on the couch, then.'

Tiptoeing down the steps, Octavia craned her neck to check the couch.

Empty.

'She's probably coming home any second now, I should get cooking.'

A knock at the door sounded out.

"Who is it?"

"Princess Luna."

"Ha! Nice try Vinyl, did you use a voice change spell?" Octavia replied as she made her way towards the door. "Anyways, I was just about to make breakfast, what do you wa..." Octavia trailed off as she stared at the Princess of the Night.

"I take it Miss Vinyl Scratch lives here?" Luna asked, a smirk on her face.

"Oh! Ah, uh," Octavia stumbled for a moment, then drew upon her 'fanciness reserves', as Vinyl called them. "Yes, Your Highness, this is her residence. May I ask why you require her presence?" Octavia was panicking on the inside. 'Please don't tell me she got arrested for disturbing the peace again!'

"I have a very special request for her, do you know when she'll get back?"

"Well, to be honest, Your Highness, I'm not sure. Would you like anything for breakfast while you wait?" Octavia only just realized what she said after she said it. 'Octavia, you idiot! She probably ate at the castle! And it was probably dinner! Now you look like a complete idiot in front of one of the diarchs of Equestria! You-'

Octaiva's panicking was interrupted by Luna's dulcet voice. "Yes, do you have any tea?"

"Oh, um, yes, let me go put the water on."

Octavia was surprised at how talkative the Princess was, especially about her dealings with her sister. 'Note to self: do not let Vinyl know about royal prank wars.'

"And so, when she woke up, she was three inches tall! It took the guards hours to break the spell! Oh, you should have heard her, she sounded like she inhaled helium! Of course, I-"

Three sharp knocks ended the Princess's recollection. "Ah, that's probably Vinyl. I'll go get it."

"Octy! What's for breakfast?"

"No time, I'm afraid. I need to talk to you about a... project I need done.", Luna spoke up.

"...Okay, shoot."

"Last night I encountered an... unsavory man trying to sell me drugs. After calling out for the guards, I waited, say, five minutes, and yet, they didn't come. When I asked the Captain of the Guard about this, he told me that the spears and splint mail assigned to the guard were too bulky to allow for any kind of fast response. Now, the reason I was out on the town was to get Celestia back into the social life she had before... my absence. I took her to a club where you were DJing, and afterwards noted that she was unable to hear clearly. After som-"

"Princess, if I may. I just got back from pulling an all-nighter, and I feel like I'm going to fall asleep any moment. If you could get to what you want me to do, and maybe save the explanation for when I'm not about to collapse onto you and cause a nationwide incident the tabloids won't ever let you live down? Thanks."

Octavia was shocked. She had to give credit where credit was due, Vinyl had either cast an invisibility spell on her gigantic, solid plutonium balls, or her breasts were actually said balls, and Vinyl was a giant dick on two legs. In any case, she had interrupted the Faust damned Princess of the Night herself, and she would most likely-

"Hmf!", Luna snorted in a most unbecoming manner, "Alright, I should have known that even the Princess of the Pulse still needs her sleep. I'll cut to the chase. I need a light handheld weapon that uses sound to incapacitate people."

"What." Vinyl deadpanned.

"You heard me. I'll send the exact specifications through the mail. Later!" Luna called out as she walked out the door.

Vinyl walked through the massive gate in front of Canterlot Castle, dragging a massive cloth covered cart behind her. As two guards took the cart from her and moved it towards the crossbow range, Princess Celestia came out of the guardhouse, and flashed Vinyl a smirk.

"So, Miss Scratch, I hear you're working on some new equipment for the guards. Care to tell an old lady what this 'W-U-B Cannon' is all about?"

"Begging your pardon, highness-"

"You can drop the formalities, Miss Scratch. Any friend of an Element Bearer is my friend, too."

"Wait, what? I don't know any 'element bearers', Princess."

"So you aren't a friend of Pinkie Pie?"

Vinyl was stunned silent. Pinkie had never told her about any 'element' she was bearing. "Um... with all due respect, Princess, I'm pretty sure Pinkie isn't... whatever you said."

Celestia snorted. "She may not look like it, but she was one of the six that returned my sister to me. If she finds your company acceptable, I'm pretty sure I will too.", she smiled at Vinyl.

Before Vinyl could reply, Luna stepped out of the keep, carrying with her a roll of parchment and a magic quill. "Ah, Vinyl! Sorry I'm late, just had to get some supplies. Shall we begin the testing?"

Vinyl nodded. "This is just a proof of concept, so don't expect to be blown away just yet."

With a quick motion of her fingers, Vinyl cast a simple ear protection spell on all parties present, then removed the cloth covering the cart. "Ladies and gents, I give you... the Weaponized Unidirectional Bass, or 'Wub', Cannon! By using ultra-low frequencies, the cannon will theoretically cause pain in the ears of whoever it's pointed at, thus disabling them until the weapon is deactivated. For your protection, I've cast the spell I use to protect my hearing when I'm DJing. Now, are we ready?"

Vinyl could faintly make out a "What?" coming from the crowd. She facepalmed, then thought 'to Tartarus with it and started counting down with her fingers.

'3'. Everyone covered their ears (except for Vinyl).

'2'. Celestia tensed up, ready to flee if the contraption exploded.

'1'. Vinyl placed her hand over the button.

'0'. Vinyl pressed it.

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBBBBBBBB

Once the ringing in their ears stopped, everyone looked at the cannon, which was fine.

They looked to the target, which was also fine.

Then they looked at the castle wall. It was not fine.

They looked at the house behind the wall. It was surrounded by rubble and broken beams, which may have at one time resembled a block of houses.

They looked at Vinyl, but she wasn't there.

They looked at the princesses, but neither were they.

If the ear protection spell had been dispelled, they would have heard three voices in the distance yelling "WE'RE SO SCREWED!", "WAIT UP LULU! DON'T LEAVE WITHOUT ME!", and "HIDE ME PRINCESSES, BEFORE OCTY COMES!"

And if those three weren't yelling their heads off, they would have noticed Octavia, standing in front of the gate to the castle and looking very, very, unamused.

"So, what have we learned today?", Octavia questioned Vinyl.

"Don't put the cannon on full blast.", Vinyl droned .

Octavia turned her glare towards the princess of the night. "Make sure nothing valuable is in the line of fire of a massive sound based weapon system.", Luna groaned.

Finally, Octavia turned towards the princess of the sun. "New weapons should be tested outside city limits.", Celestia moaned.

"Now, up to your rooms. None of you are getting supper tonight." Octavia ordered.

At this, Luna smiled, and stuck her tongue out at her sister.

"Or breakfast.", Octavia amended.

Luna frowned, and followed Vinyl and Celestia up to the guest rooms Octavia had set up for them.

To Be Continued...

A/N: Sorry about the wait. College stuff got in the way. As always, direct questions, corrections, or suggestions to the comments!