Of all of the ponies you know that hold political power by the balls, you had to choose Tall-Horse...

While riding in the back of a carriage, Ryan was mentally praying that he would go deaf as to no longer hear Celestia's ranting and raving. When she first found him in jail and had him released, on the condition that she would personally handle his punishment, the ranting was non-stop. She droned on for maybe ten whole minutes about how disappointed she was, and how she knew he could do better with his new life, and a whole bunch more that Ryan kinda zoned out on.

Then came the raving; Once her anger with him getting locked up subsided, her mood began to pick up as she came up with multiple ways that she and him could bond. Celestia wanted to get to know Ryan from the beginning, back when they first met, but his distrustful nature kept him at bay, and his attitude kept everyone else from getting too close. Despite living with them for a short while, they hardly saw him at all. He mostly just kept to himself, staying locked up in the room they gave him.

Then one day he managed to get out of the castle and wonder off without anypony being able to find a single trace of him. A few weeks later, he found his way back and made a bargain with the princess. Her choices were quickly narrowed down to either setting him up for life, or Ryan killing himself out of spite.

It's safe to say that Celestia was not on board with the latter and set up a way that it could work out in both of their favors. She would give him a home and take care of him indirectly by keeping his property taxes paid off and even giving him a few bits for food, but he had to go to Ponyville to learn about friendship just like her former student, Twilight. In addition; Ryan was to befriend both Twilight and her group of friends and write to her about what he learned.

As time went on, she decided to stop asking him to send letters to her. You could only laugh at a crudely drawn stallion with a penis that took up the entire page before it stopped being funny. Especially when said drawings revealed themselves to be a flip book when she managed to collect a fair amount.

That aside, she was still eager to see if he's changed at all. For starters, he's dressing nicer than he used to. He also seemed very attentive...and unblinking.

Celestia waved a hand in front of Ryan's face. Her face deadpanned as she received no response. She let out a sigh, palming her forehead as she did so. Why did she even assume, it's not like he's never given her a reason to have high expectations of him, or any at all. Rather than get mad and yell though, she came up with something else. An idea so dark, so twisted, that not even the likes of those corrupted by madness could conjure up such a thought.

The sun goddess raised her hand toward the unsuspecting human, the power she was summoning already causing her fingertips to tingle. Then it happened, she reached out and- "Boop."

Ryan blinked for the first time since entering the carriage before shaking his head. The sensation of having his nose touched made him to feel almost as though he had been violated. He looked over at Celestia, who was wearing a goofy smirk on her face, as he shot a look of confusion.

"You gonna tell me why you did that?" He asked, being genuinely curious. He had grown accustomed to people hitting him for ignoring them, so this was just plain weird.

"No reason." She answered with as innocent a tone as a child.

A child...wait a minute...

Ryan's eyes widened dramatically as the realization hit him like a freight train. "Oh shit! What happened the kids?" He panicked as his hands shot up to grip his scalp. "Applejack is gonna fucking kill me."

Celestia couldn't help but smile at his reaction. It was a nice change of pace to see him so worried about somepony other than himself. "Don't worry, I've taken care of them." She explained calmly, "They are under supervision and they couldn't be safer."

Ryan became noticeably more relaxed as this information was given to him. At least they were safe. AJ might still give him the ass-kicking of a lifetime, but she wouldn't kill him. "Thank Christ..."

The alicorn's head angled to the side ever so slightly. "I've heard of ponies using my name as an expression, but who's this Christ you speak of?"

No...don't you dare! This place has been kind, despite its many downfalls; Don't let it become the same never-ending menstrual cycle that is our world!

His expression suddenly became fearful. "I cannot tell you that."

"Why not?" She asked with an inquisitive look.

"Our world has many unique, diverse, and descriptive beliefs." He began, "It is because of all these many beliefs that people don't get along and even kill each other." His expression only seemed to worsen as he foreshadowed some of the dark events that took place in his world. "If word of other religions were to spread, then the ponies here would lose their shit more than the humans after Trump's election." The alabaster mare could not take her eyes from him. Her curiosity had died quickly, became replaced with dread and confusion. "So, for the sake of the many, let's go ahead and keep religion out of future conversations."

Celestia tried to speak, but was finding it difficult. "O-okay..." The carriage started to shake as it began its descent. Thank everything that is holy, this topic could finally change. "Good, we're here!"

The landing could have been more graceful, but then again, so could Ryan's existence.

Celestia was the first to exit, being greeted by a small line of guards, ready to protect her with their lives. Once Ryan made his way out though, the expressions of the armored ponies grew sour and spiteful. Despite only being here for under a year, he had grown quite the reputation; Especially in Canterlot's most famed castle.

He stayed for a total of six days when he first arrived in Equestria. The fact that he was surrounded by talking horse-people was brushed off by his intoxicated mind then, and continued to be seen as nothing more than a minor inconvenience when he sobered up. He could tolerate it with a grain of salt and a shot of whisky. However, his assholish nature did little to help the ponies tolerate him.

During his short stay in the castle, he managed to break several stained glass windows, countless amounts of furniture, set a minimum of four rooms on fire (As others couldn't be proven to have started by his hand), and played with the heart-strings of both princesses. One would wonder why they would bother to associate themselves with him, what with all the chaos he was causing, but those all happened within the first nine hours of his stay. Luckily for him, they blamed it on his ever-growing risk of alcohol poisoning at the time.

So after getting into an all-out brawl with the guards as they tried to stop him from causing any more damage, Celestia hit him with a quick detox spell to clean his system of anything that could be influencing him. Once he truly realized his situation, his sanity jumped to the only thing it could use to keep him from having a complete meltdown; The two smoking hot horse-women.

He turned into a complete sweetheart to them as he tried to work his way up their metaphorical skirts. Once they found out he was just trying to sleep with them though, things got ugly. Primarily, on Luna's side. Celestia was hurt, but she was strong and could handle it. Luna took it hard though, and not in the fun way.

Arguments between the human and the night princess ensued for hours at a time before Ryan got fed up enough to leave the castle. It wasn't until fifteen days later that he returned, looking as though he had gotten into a fight with a timberwolf. That was when Celestia offered to give him a home in Ponyville, where he could live the small-town life he preferred and have trustful eyes on him. The rest was history.

Now he finds himself back in the middle of what started it all.

The castle itself had barely changed an ounce since he'd been gone. Aside from some new windows with the so-called friends he had back in Ponyville stained onto them, everything was pretty much the same.

As Celestia led the way through the castle, she couldn't help but to glance back at the human and notice the way he was analyzing his surroundings. If she didn't know any better, she'd think that he was looking for something.

She became curious. What could he possibly be looking for? "Trying to find something back there?"

Ryan's eyes continued to scan the area, being somewhat cautious about his movements. "Not something..." He said, a certain level of dread being detected in his voice. "More like, someone." He froze, feeling as though the world itself had stopped as well. The sound of heavy breathing could be heard beside him as each hot breath brushed against his face in a small fury. His face contorted, as if it were saying 'Shit, I am so fucked.' He turned his head, but barely managed to see who was beside him before a blur of dark blue flew into the side of his face, knocking him to the ground with nothing but sheer force. "Ow..."

"Luna!" Celestia yelled in a reprimanding tone as she gave her sister a stern look.

Princess Luna, ruler of the night and anything that has to do with it, stood in place. Her gaze remained glued to her deserving victim as he slowly started to pick himself back up.

To say that a right hook from one of the co-rulers of Equestria fucking hurt would be an understatement. To say that he didn't deserve it though, would be lying to the gods themselves. "No! No...I had it coming." He confessed, eventually finding the strength to get back on his feet. After a quick rub around his eyes, he deduced that there was definitely going to be one nasty bruise there soon. "Fuckin' hell..."

"Tartarus will be the last of your concerns when I'm through with you." Luna all but snapped, fist raised for another strike. Before she cold even begin to swing forward, her arm was jerked back, causing her to nearly fall over.

Celestia held a firm grip on her sister's arm, keeping her from continuing her assault on their guest. "What do you think you're doing!?"

Luna struggled against her older sister's grasp, pulling against her without trying to hurt her. "I am defending our honor, both as mares of good virtue and princesses." She explained with some amount of self-righteousness. "Now unhand me!"

"Luna, we talked about this." Celestia hissed, pulling her sister closer to her. "How do you expect him to coöperate if you are beating him every step of the way?"

I'm sorry; Did she just say 'Cooperate'?

The light bulb in Ryan's head began to flicker; If two plus two is fish, and the probability of solving world hunger is 1/1,000,653, then... "I'm sensing the presence of an alternative motive to me being here."

The sister's stopped what they were doing to glance over at the human. He wasn't supposed to know the true intentions of them bringing him back to Canterlot quite yet, but it would seem they let it slip. "Tia..." Ryan began, "This trip was supposed to be for you to punish me for going to jail. That's what this is, right?"

Celestia wore a guilty look as she contemplated what to say. "Yes, but...It may not be quite what you expected."

Ryan crossed his arms, nodding his head as he did so. "Okay..." His attention moved to Luna, who was still stuck in her sister's hold. "You hate me; Go ahead and fill me in, cause I know you won't be nice about it." His theory was correct. Luna was still pretty pissed about how things went down with all of them, so she wouldn't sugarcoat anything.

Luna finally broke out of Celestia's grip, crossing her arms in the same fashion Ryan had. "During your trip here, Tia and I have been communicating telepathically about your punishment." She began, quickly capturing his undivided attention. "We decided that, a proper punishment, would be to make amends for past mistakes." Ryan's eyes widened as he caught on to what she was saying. This caused Luna to smirk evilly at him. "That's right, my little human. You are not to leave this castle until we believe you are worth forgiving for what you put us through."

*Crack*

There was a deep growling that came from the pit of Ryan's stomach, one loud enough for even the princesses to hear it. He placed a fist to his mouth as he did his best to contain the beast within him. His mind was in an absolute rampage, but what sanity was left knew that, if he were to retaliate, the situation would only get worse. Celestia and Luna visibly cringed as another growl let itself be heard.

Very little was holding back his rage, but it managed to be just enough. However, this was actually starting to become painful both mentally and physically. "Alright..." He said in a strained tone, his eyes looking frantic and crazed; Like meeting someone who had just murdered their family and couldn't stop laughing. "And how the ffffucking hell!...Do you expect me to do that?"

Luna's empowered demeanor returned tenfold as she smiled and placed a hand on Ryan's trembling face. "I guess you better figure that out." She moved her hand a few inches from his face before landing a 'playful' slap on his face and walking away. "I'll be starting night court in a few minutes sister. You and our guest should get some rest."

The lunar princess departed on that note, leaving Ryan to sit in his bubbling pot of anger and Celestia to make sure he wouldn't go after her. "I'm gonna kill her..."

Once the tension and almost blinding rage had subsided, Celestia led Ryan through the many corridors within the castle. He was in the Day Wing, which was pretty much the half of the castle owned and dictated by tall, white, and rainbow over here. Before long they came upon a room that seemed fit for a...princess......

Oh, dear baby Jesus!

Ryan's gaze left the room itself and moved to the now undressing princess. He had never gotten the chance to see her naked, nor would he now. Rather than striping down in the nude, she just removed the bracelets, the rings, and the crown before walking into what he assumed was a walk-in closet.

It took him a moment to pull his mind out of the gutter and focus on to the issue at hand. Ryan walked over to the closet, not daring to look inside. He would prefer to keep his eyes in his sockets, thank you. "You gonna tell me why I'm in your room? I thought we were going to bed. Shouldn't I have my own room?"

Celestia stepped out of the closet, donning a simple crème colored nightgown. "You could have your own room, but I would prefer to keep you here. I fear what Luna may do to you otherwise." At the mention of what her sister could do, the alicorn took a quick look at the human's eye. "She really hit you hard, didn't she?"

"Yeah, no shit; honey." He replied with a deadpan expression on his face. Out of nowhere, Celestia grabbed his head, holding it in place as she inspected the bruise. Ryan tried to pull away from her at first, but he knew his strength was no match for hers.

God damn, OP, fucking horses...

Celestia started leaning her head toward him, making Ryan slightly uncomfortable. "What are you doing?" He asked, receiving no response as she continued to move her face closer to his. "Fuck off!" Much to his surprise, she wasn't moving in on him. Well, she was, but not in that way. Instead, she placed a kiss on his bruised face. There was a strange warmth that enveloped the area and any pain he felt from being hit earlier was gone. When she pulled away his hand almost instinctively went up to touch the once tender spot. "What?"

She smiled down at him, "Magic."

"Uh-huh..." Now he felt just plain stupid for not assuming that in the first place.

"Ryan," Celestia began, "would you mind sharing the bed with me?" Instantly his mind went right back to the gutter, only for little miss princess to kick those thoughts right out of his head. "Not like that..." She went on, as if knowing exactly what he was thinking.

Celestia walked over to the bed, "Remember when you first stayed in here with me?" Ryan nodded, confirming that he did indeed remember. "We spent most of the night just talking and then you held me until morning." She added, recollecting the night with fondness. "I really enjoyed it. It was nice to feel as though someone was there for me, to protect me, rather than it being the other way around. Could you do that again?"

'Uh..." Ryan found this request weird for some reason. It made sense that she would enjoy being the one to receive comfort, given how she was usually the one that was doing the comforting, but still. "I-Yeah, sure."

Ryan pulled off his shirt and tossed aside anything he didn't need as Celestia climbed under the covers. Once he was stripped of everything but his pants, Ryan climbed into the bed, getting comfortable before lazily placing an arm around the literal goddess beside him.

Celestia used her magic to kill off any light in the room before adjusting herself, placing her back against the human's bare chest. If he was going to get roped into cuddling, he might as well enjoy it. And with that he responded by tightening his grip around her and nuzzling his head into the back of her neck.

The princess let out a happy sigh as her body relaxed in his arms. It's been a while since he actually just cuddled with someone. Normally he would fuck them senseless then let them nuzzle him however they pleased, but this was nice. Its a huge step up from the pillow he'd usually wake up hugging when he slept alone.

For a brief moment, he actually felt bad for how he treated them. They welcomed him into their castles, their lives, and their world. And what did he do; He tried to sleep with them, both of them, behind the others back no less. In that short revelation, he started to feel regret, he came to realize just how shitty he's been to them; Celestia, Luna...his friends in Ponyville.

What really upset him though was that he knew, a few minutes from now, he wouldn't care anymore. He would eventually force himself to forget about these thoughts and go back to the way he was. Part of him was content with being a near-heartless bastard. It made his life easy and simple. But then there was that small part that hated him entirely for letting himself turn into this. He wanted to change, he wanted to be different. But, the thought of that itself terrified him. He-

"Ryan?" Celestia spoke, sounding concerned. As if she knew something was troubling him. "Are you alright?"

Ryan pulled himself out of his thoughts and turned his attention to something more important. Shutting her up and getting to bed. "I'm fine, sun butt. Let's just go to sleep, I'm fuckin' exhausted from today."

Celestia knew he was lying, but didn't want to force him into anything. All she could really do was assure him that he could trust her. "Okay; but you know, if you ever need somepony to talk to, I'm h-"

"Shhh...Sleeeeeep..."

Author's Note

Yeah, late. Way late. Just like everything on this page nowadays. Fuck me!
Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed regardless of how stupid and far behind I am. If you did, slap that LIKE button like a bitch. As always, feel free to leave a comment below, comments make me feel special :P