Friendship Is Cynical

by Lord_Evil

Stop Bugging Me

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Ryan laid flat, his back firmly pressed against the snow covered ground. Admittedly his attempt to sneak out of Pinkie's window could have been much more graceful, but instead it ended as it always did; Slip, tumble, crack, owie.

With his spine feeling as though it had been severed in six different places, he settled with laying outside in the cold for a few moments. His mind prayed to whatever deity could be watching over him to save him without bringing in one of his so-called friends. Once again, luck was not on his side. While things could have gone much worse, this alternative wasn't far from it.

The form of a mare could be seen in the distance. Her fur was the color of human skin and her long mane was a dark orange color. Several freckles decorated her face and chest. A majority of her upper body was covered in a thick brown coat and her legs donned a pair of black snow pants.

Sadly, this was a mare that Ryan knew all too well. Not too long ago she had tracked him down to his house, broken in, and forced upon him one of the most annoying sob stories he had ever heard. He had no sympathy for her, especially after what he was forced to put up with upon their first meeting.

She made her way over to the collapsed human, stopping when her feet were just a few inches from his head. She leaned over to get a better look at him, her emerald green eyes locking onto his bright, but agitated looking, blue eyes.

An irksome smile made its way across her face. "Hey, big guy." She said in a tone that made the human want to punch her repeatedly in the throat. "How's it hanging down there?"

"Loosely," Ryan replied, the pain he was feeling causing him to grunt out his words. "And if I had more than two, I'd tell you to suck all of them."

Ryan's comment earned him a light chuckle from the mare. "Come on," She said, offering her hand to him. "Let's get you home."

Uh, guy. I don't think that's a good-

A loud crack came from Ryan's back as he tried to pull himself up. It was loud enough to make even the mare trying to help him cringe.

...owie...

Ryan fell back to the ground, his expression being nothing short of pure agony. "Okay...I may have actually fucked something up this time..." He said through clenched teeth, his eyes just barely being open. "Do me a favor and find a rock."

The mare cocked her head while shooting him a questioning gaze. "Um, why?"

"I need you to bludgeon me to death." He said, the pain still very present within him. "If there's one good thing you can do in this world, let it be putting me out of my misery."

She rolled her eyes, bending her knees until she was low enough to the ground to slide her hands under Ryan's shoulders. "What are you doing?" He asked, receiving no response as he felt her grip tighten on him. "What's happening!?" The mare pulled up on Ryan's body and shoved him forward, forcing his body into a sitting position. His bones let out a sickening crack with every bit of movement. "Cock juggling, thunder cunt!"

"Would you shut up!" She hissed into his ear. "It may be early, but I don't need you drawing attention."

"Firstly; Fuck you!" He yelled, his face contorting from the pain. "Secondly; It's five in the morning, no one is awake." He continued, "And lastly; Eat. My. Ass! It fucking hurt!!"

The mare shook her head before lifting Ryan's coat. His back looked more like he had fallen off of a rocky mountain than out of a window. Several bones could be seen, clearly in places where they shouldn't be. "You've really done it this time." She said, pressing a now open, glowing green hand against the center of his back. "Let me see what I can do."

"What do you mean-AHHH!!!" Ryan's scream could be heard for miles as he felt his bones being forced out of place and shoved elsewhere like some kind of fucked up jigsaw puzzle. "Jesus Hitler Christ!"

The mare reeled her arm back, tightening her hand into a fist before delivering a hard punch to Ryan's shoulder. There was one final 'Pop' as her fist connected with him.

Ryan slumped over to the side, his body twisting in every direction as he tried to fight the pain, screaming all the while. Slowly, but surely, the pain began to recede and he laid face down in the snow, deciding to never move again so long as he drew breath.

Movement can be a thing when we die and come back as a zombie

Ryan's quote, unquote, friend took a breath, feeling pretty good about her work on her human companion. With a quick shake of her hand the greenish light illuminating from her vanished. She then proceeded to grab the still grounded human and force him up over her shoulder.

The walk to Ryan's house was silent for the most part. The only thing that managed to escape his mouth was the occasional groan and she didn't have much to say at the moment either.

Once inside, Ryan's body was planted ass-first onto a wooden chair inside of his kitchen. His head lazily rose up to the mare as his focus started coming back. Most of the pain had subsided, but he still felt sore.

The mare decided to get comfortable, slipping off her coat and snow pants to reveal a rather casual outfit beneath; A pair of blue jeans and a white V-neck T-shirt, both of which belonged to Ryan at one point. Her body then became engulfed in an ominous green glow, causing her entire form to change in size, color, and shape.

Her once long, orange mane was now a light bluish color, her fur had simply disappeared from her body and left a very dark grey skin in its wake. She became slightly taller than she once was, her chest nearly doubled in size, and finally a set of bug-like wings and a long jagged horn grew from her body.

She let out a content sigh as a smile worked its way across her lips. "Mmm, much better." Her snake-like eyes wandered over to Ryan as he sat in silence, watching her with a less-than-amused look. "See something you like?"

Her joking did little to change Ryan's mood. He was in pain and wasn't feeling up to dealing with anyone else's shit today. "Yeah, a block of cheese would be nice right about now." He replied, "Can you get out of my house now?"

Chrysalis placed a hand to her chest, doing a false impression of being insulted. "You would throw me out?" She said, walking over to Ryan and sitting down on his lap with her legs hanging off to the side. "And after I helped you?"

Ryan shot her a deadpan expression. "Yeah, you are still barely climbing up the ladder of what I feel you owe me."

"What I owe you!" The once Queen of the changelings exclaimed, now actually appearing to feel genuinely offended. "I welcomed you into my hive-"

"Kidnapped me into your hive..." Ryan corrected, his expression not budging an inch.

She blinked, trying to come up with something to say. "I gave you a comfortable place to stay-"

"You tied me to the very chair we are sitting in..."

She blinked twice, "I satisfied you every night-"

"Raped me every hour on the hour..."

She blinked thrice, looking fairly uncertain about herself at the moment. "You had three full meals a day-"

"A slice of bread and a glass of water is hardly a meal..."

Chrysalis opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't seem to find the words. A throaty growl worked its way out of her as she crossed her arms. "Okay, so things started off rough."

Now it was Ryan's turn to blink. Only he didn't blink, instead his left eye twitched multiple times as he stared down the rather attractive bug sitting on him. "You stole me, raped me, and had me locked up for nearly two weeks until your hive came crumbling down. And on top of that; You sought me out and bombarded me with all of your feelings of distress and sadness while also holding me down against my own floor so I wouldn't stab you."

Why aren't you stabbing her now; Is my question.

Chrysalis rolled her eyes at him. "Would you let it go already. That was a long time ago, so you can stop pissing and moaning already."

"It was wasn't even a month ago."

"Exactly," She began, placing a hand on either side of his head and staring into his eyes. "That's more than long enough." She added, fluttering her lashes at him as her head inched closer to his. "So how about you and I-"

Ryan pointed the tip of a pocket knife at her neck, causing her to stop in her tracks and even pull back some. "Do not play with me, lady. I will tear your world a-fucking-sunder..."

Chrysalis reluctantly submitted, climbing off of Ryan's lap and walking to the other side of the kitchen. "Fine, be that way." She said as she pressed her back against a wall directly in front of him. "And here I was going to-" She paused as she caught sight of him pulling out another knife and flipping it open, striking them menacingly against each other.

The overgrown changeling swallowed nervously. While she would normally be able to take down anything that went against her, Ryan seemed to be some kind of exception; Especially when she was low on power. One of the most uncomfortable things was that he had been able to break out of any restraining spells she had put on him, even when her magic was at a decent level. Another would have to be how easily he could overlook her attempts to mate with him. Her pheromones were always enough to lure any stallion into bed, one of the many perks of being a changeling, but it had almost zero effect on Ryan.

Chrysalis sighed, defeated once again.

"I need a place to stay." She finally admitted, her head hanging as she spoke.

Ryan's eyes didn't leave her. He remained in his spot, the knives still clenched tightly in his hands. "Go on..."

Her head angled every which way but his as she continued. "My new hive isn't starting off as well as I had hoped. I believe I have become..." She stopped for a moment, finding this next part difficult to say. Her body started to tremble and she appeared to be doing whatever she could to keep him from seeing her face. "I fear I may be infertile."

Despite not being able to see her face, Ryan could clearly tell how she was feeling. The last sentence that came from her carried a certain tone to it, one that sang a symphony of sorrow.

As far as he knew, the only reason for a bug queen to exist was to bark orders and give birth until babies started materializing out of her like a fucking stargate. Her original hive turned its back on her and now she may not be able to make a new one.

Ryan was pulled out of his thoughts as the soft pattern of Chrysalis crying started to echo through the house. "I just...I just don't know what to do anymore." She said between sobs, her long hair now hanging in front of her face and keeping her out of sight. "Every time I try...They just fall apart in my hands...I have nothing now." Her hand rose to her face, pushing past her hair before pressing against her eyes. "If I can't have children then there's nothing left for me...I have no purpose."

...She just had to start crying, didn't she...

Ryan craned his neck and growled, being stuck between wanting to set her on fire and wanting to help her any way he could.

We could put her put of her misery! His mind suggested, We could kill her now and all would be happy!

Chrysalis fell to her knees, her crying becoming louder as she stopped caring about trying to hide her emotions.

Fffuck!

"Shit!" Ryan got out of his chair and stomped his way over to the bug-horse.

Chrysalis looked up just in time to see him angrily make his way over before grabbing her by the arm and yanking her back to her feet. She did little to fight against him, especially when she noticed that he was taking her into his room.

Ryan opened the door to his room, leading her in before tossing her onto the bed, where she stared at him in confusion. "Get comfortable." He said, his voice still sounding more irate than anything else. "I'll...sleep on the fucking couch."

With that he stormed out of the bedroom, slamming the door behind him as he left her alone.

Chrysalis stared at the door with a mixture of shock and confusion. Given her inbred abilities, she could tell that he was angry, but his anger wasn't directed at her. His emotions were all over the place, like he wasn't sure how to feel and was just settling with what he was familiar with while the rest thrashed around chaotically.

He truly was an interesting creature. She couldn't help but wonder if his entire species worked the same way he did, or if he was an anomaly among them as well.

Settling to push those thoughts aside for the time being, she let her eyes scan the area around her. She had been in his room a few times before, but never took the time to really analyze everything. It was clean and all, but looked like it had seen some rough times. She found this a bit odd as it looked relatively new on the outside.

Another thought hit her; outside. She looked out of a nearby window to see that the sun was still rising. Her eyes went over the room again until she spotted a clock.

"It's only seven in the morning." She said to no one in particular, feeling as though Ryan had announced that he was going to sleep. The way he said he was going to 'Sleep on the couch' made it seem that way.

Chrysalis pulled herself off of the bed and over to the door, opening it slowly. She then started flapping her wings at an incredible speed to lift herself off of the floor. This would allow her to move about in relative silence. She flew out into the living room, quickly spotting the blanketed human laying upon it with its eyes held shut.

Ryan looked peaceful while he was sleeping. Like everything in the world was right and he could finally be at peace.

Chrysalis gently lowered herself to the ground, her weight causing the wooden floors to creak slightly, but not enough to stir him from his slumber. A smile worked its way across her face; This time it was real though. No teasing, no games, no deceit. She was thankful that he was letting her stay with him, that he was going to allow her a second chance and possibly help her start a new life.

Maybe, just maybe, this could be the start of her having a friend.

"Thank you, Ryan." Chrysalis whispered as a single tear worked its way down her cheek. She lowered her head down toward his, placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Leave me alone, you fucking cicada."


Author's Note

Okay, I know this chapter is a little weird and...weird. But, I plan to use this new arrangement to my advantage.
ALSO, I have decided to follow through with the Christmas chapter I brought up on my page that no one read.
So expect an update on Christmas day and as always, if you enjoy this story, feel free to slap that LIKE button like a bitch! Share this story with your friends and leave a comment below, coments make me feel special :P

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