The Diary of John, the Least Interesting Stallion in Equestria.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Dear Diary,

Today was rather out-of-the-ordinary. I mean, of course, apart from the fact that I am still living in my store, which is rather unnerving still. I'd much rather be in my comfortable home, thank you kindly.

But dear me, I'm getting very off topic. The point of me writing was to point out that there is a new pony in town. She is very... ...interesting. Too interesting, in my opinion.

I actually met her as she walked into my store today. I know that a pony cannot help how she looks, but I must say, simply between you and me, diary, that she looked positively... ...um...

...

...I cannot think of a kind word, so I will just say what is on my mind. You'll have to pardon the crude language, Diary, but she looked obnoxious and irritating.

I know it is not like me to be so blunt, but like I said, I cannot think of another word to describe such a pony. She had... ...well, she was an alicorn, firstly. Which confused me. Why in Equestria is an alicorn in Ponyville? More importantly, why would I not have heared about such a pony? Alicorns are all royalty. So it stands to reason that she would be in the reference books in Miss Twilight Sparkle's library, but just a few minutes ago I got through looking through the reference books, fearing that I may offend a royal pony by not knowing what role they play (despite the fact that such matters are way too big and exciting for a simple stallion such as myself).

I could not find a single mention of Miss "BlueMoon SparkleCrystal Shine-Shine" anywhere. It was most confounding.

I am getting ahead of myself. I apologize again. Anyway, Miss BlueMoon SparkleCrystal Shine-Shine barged (rather rudely) into my store. Words cannot describe how shocked I was when I saw her sparkling black-and-purple mane, green eyes, golden shoes, and...

...sorry, I had to get a drink of water. Where was I? Oh yes. She had a cutie mark that was very detailed. I cannot even begin to describe it. She told me that it meant something in Japanese, but I personally believe she was greatly exaggerating the truth.

She walked into my store and teleported a whole variety of packages into their proper places on my shelves - you name it, it was there. My store was re-stocked. But I wasn't too happy. I daresay I was terrified.

After she "helped" me, I got up the wits to ask her what her name was. Miss BlueMoon SparkleCrystal Shine-Shine quickly told me and immediately launched me into a long, complicated (and probably fabricated) story of her life which, despite how rude it sounds, I would much rather not listen to.

She told me all sorts of terribly unreal things which I could not care less to hear. She was saying things about wars and romances and nobility and the like. Apparently, she is even the third sister to Luna and Celestia. I know for a fact she was lying about that.

I thanked her for giving me the packages (somewhere in her endless babble of speech she had told me that she was the new pony in town and also had a job for the postal service) and promptly (but not rudely) asked her to leave.

Then she stared at me in a very uncomfortable fashion... ...I think she was trying to woo me or something of that nature. Whatever it was, it had no effect but to make me more uncomfortable and annoyed.

Eventually she left me. I daresay I was very confused and began research immediately. So far I have found absolutely nothing about her. Hopefully I will be able to find out quite what she is up to in a few days...

...or maybe I will not.

Either way, I am terribly disturbed by the events of today. Nonetheless, I must not judge another pony so harshly. I will see if I can get to know Miss Blue Moon CrystalSparkle Shine-Shine better over the next few days. Maybe I have her all wrong.

Well, all this worrying can get me no-where fast. I must simply go to bed and forget the incident for now. Good night, Diary.

Sincerely,

John