The Diary of John, the Least Interesting Stallion in Equestria.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Dear Diary,

Words alone cannot describe how simply angered I am by recent events. Under normal circumstances, I would be most delighted by my house having been repaired, but these circumstances are anything but normal. Of course, being normal is exactly what I need my days to become again. Dear me, you are possibly wondering still, Diary. How un-thoughtful of me, to keep putting off the topic. That is only the sort of thing that young hooligans do moments before doing very exciting things. I shudder to think of what I am becoming. Nonetheless, I will make things bland and normal once again, even if I have to do something interesting trying.

Oh goodness, why do I not just get on with what happened today?

Well, Diary, (Oh my goodness. How long have I been talking to you in my diary entries? Why, these events must really have shaken me up. Under normal circumstances I would have noticed such deviant behavior.) today my house was repaired completely. I suppose that is, in and of itself, very good news.

You see, I woke up this morning and had only just finished my morning routine when I noticed that somepony was entering the store. I walked up to the front desk and made sure that nothing was sitting on it (decorations are most overrated, after all) and then paused in fear. Or, well, almost fear.

Miss BlueMoon SparkleCrystal Shine-Shine was standing there, limping towards me. I daresay that, though I may not be very fond of this particular alicorn or her selfish ways, she did look quite injured. Naturally, of course, I asked what was the matter.

"Oh, John!" she said rather loudly. Forgive me for the exclamation point. I am merely retelling the story with accuracy. "I was just finishing up your house, when I was attacked!"

"Attacked?" I asked. Goodness. It sounded terrifying.

"Yes, my love! Attacked!" I shall stop here and let you know that I began feeling most uncomfortable with the way she called me her love. It was... ...rather unsettling. "I was just finishing the final touches on your house, when three ninja changelings..." and then I stopped listening. Obviously, this pony was lying once again. I may be bland, but I am not stupid. I assumed she was injured, however (better safe than sorry), and that she must be lying to cover up an embarrassing fact about the way she was injured.

She seemed a tad bit disappointed when I called the hospital.

"What are you doing, John?" she asked, adding a very fake-sounding cough to the end of her sentence.

"I am calling the hospital. You obviously need to be treated immediately."

"But can't you treat me?!" She said as she swooned and fainted in my direction. I quickly caught her and quickly set her on the ground. I would like to avoid all contact with such a liar, if it is at all possible.

"Me?" I asked "But I am no doctor. I would probably cause more damage than good. Besides, there is a carriage on its way right now. You are going to be fine."

When the hospital carriage finally arrived, several stallions loaded her up and took her away. I think I may have caught a glimpse of her glaring at me as they left. I ignored it.

After the store closed for the day, I immediately walked over to my house to see what it looked like. Not to look a gift-horse in the mouth, of course, but I had this nagging suspicion that Miss BlueMoon SparkleCrystal Shine-Shine had taken some "creative" liberties with the reconstruction of my home. I was correct.

It's not that anything had changed since my previous home's look (In fact, that is a little scary. How did she know what my house used to look like?). It's that there was a new door and a new room in my house. My heart jumped a little bit when I saw it and the sign on it. The sign which read "BlueMoon SparkleCrystal Shine-Shine's Room".

Oh Diary, what am I going to do? I have to think of something. I just have to.

Wait...

...

...I have it. I will not tell you yet, Diary. I have a feeling that Miss BlueMoon will be snooping around here after she returns from the hospital. I will wait until morning, when that alicorn will undoubtedly be back.

Well, it is getting late. I shall see how this plan turns out tomorrow.

Goodnight, Diary.

Sincerely,

John