The Diary of John, the Least Interesting Stallion in Equestria.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Dear Diary,

This is it. Today I am going to begin my attempt at getting rid of Miss BlueMoon. Royalty or not, she simply must go. She is rude, greedy, selfish, and very annoying. I do not enjoy calling another pony such things, but that is simply the way it is. I have to do something about it. Well, there is no use talking about it so I might as well get to work.

Hi Diary! This is John! Yep! It's not anyone else! It's definately not BlueMoon SparkleCrystal Shine-Shine, the most cutest and sexiest and beautiful most awesome mare ever! She is so HAWT!!1!1!!! I am gonna marry her because I think shes' so hawt!! (Isnt' that just so kawaii?!?! ^^) The reason I used to think she was annoying was because I had a spell put on me by an evil enchanter person, who was jealous! But BlueMoon SparkleCrystal Shine-Shine with her rainbow-colored cutie mark (idk what it meenz, k? I dont speek japanese ^_^; ) defeeted the bad guy and his army of ninja changelings and set me free!!! YAY!!1!1!1!!!!

Uh-Oh. Sounds like John- I MEAN SOMEONE, since I'm John and not anypony else XD- is coming home from his  work at that ugly appliance store. I have to go now.

Good heavens. Oh no. Diary. What happened to you? It looks like Miss BlueMoon SparkleCrystal Shine-Shine has written in you and impersonated me...

!!

That is correct, Diary. I am angry enough to use two exclamation points this time. That is just unbelievable. I would strike through the offensive text, but I fear that would look most irregular and only draw attention to it more.

Well, apart from you having been written in (Make that three exclamation points!), there is nothing bad that has happened today. In fact, it went rather well. Miss BlueMoon SparkleCrystal Shine-Shine was arrested. You see, as I told her to, Miss Twilight Sparkle had written a letter to Princess Celestia, informing her that Miss BlueMoon was impersonating royalty. Just as I came home from work (to find that irritating mare swooning right and left over a fake injury), I heard knocking at the door. Before I could do anything, Miss BlueMoon had rushed to the door and opened it, yelling very awful things at whoever was "interrupting" her.

I will not repeat what she said.

When she looked at who was at the door, I could have sworn that she lost some color. Princess Celestia herself was standing there, along with many royal guards, and Miss BlueMoon was promptly arrested on the spot.

All in all, Diary. It was a good day...

...in spite of you having been written in.

Well, it is getting rather late. I am looking foreward to a return to the way things should be. Good night, Diary.

Sincerely,

John

P.S. I think I have to do something about that extra room.

P.P.S. I know I do not usually use "P.S." at the end of my entries, Diary, but I do need to remind myself of that.

P.P.P.S. Sorry for talking to you. You are, in fact, an inanimate object and I have been through this before.

P.P.P.P.S...

...oh, forget it.

Goodnight, Diary.

Sincerely,

John