The Diary of John, the Least Interesting Stallion in Equestria.

Sunday, September 15, 2012

Dear Diary,

Well, this morning I woke up to find quite a shock. Young Mr. Spike, bless him, attempted to make me breakfast. Apparently, however, he was not used to making oatmeal or tea, and there was quite a large mess in the kitchen. I had to refrain from screaming at the absolutely terrifying sight of all that oatmeal burnt everywhere.

In order to relieve any fears that young Mr. Spike had, however, I managed to force myself to smile and I promptly told him that on my way home from work today, I would purchase some more oatmeal and, possibly, whatever food it is that young Mr. Spike was used to eating. He seemed rather happy with that.

Then he told me what it was he usually eats, apart from jewels.

He enjoys apples, eggs, and sometimes bacon. Goodness me. Apparently, I was dreadfully mistaken about the diets of dragons. My goodness. Would tofu have poisoned young Mr. Spike? I shudder to think of it. What a horrible thought.

Well, it is almost time for me to head to work. I shall try to remember what it is that young Mr. Spike wants from the store. I simply must be off now.

Spike's Journal

September 15th, 2012

Well, John's finally left, so I guess now I have the chance to write, huh? It's kinda odd, though. I thought I put my journal somewhere else last. Oh well. Anyway, John's gone now so I finally have a chance to write my entry for the day.

Twilight told me to practice my writing every day, and even though I would rather be sleeping or eating right now, I should probably do just that. Oh well.

Nothing much has happened yet. Oh my gosh, it's so boring here! John's a nice dude, but really? Oatmeal and crackers? And that's not all! I didn't get a chance to write it yesterday (my picture of me and Rarity took up the whole page), but the wallpaper in the guest room is pink and purple. You heard me right. PINK. AND. PURPLE. Ugh. It's so girly!

And on the door it says that it belongs to some "BlueMoon Crystal Shine-Shine Sparkle" or whatever. I think she was that annoying mare who blew into town. You remember her, right? She was pretty much the worst jerk to ever enter Ponyville. Next to Discord.

And Nightmare Moon.

And that Iron Will guy.

Okay, fine. But still! She was real mean. I dunno why she decided to treat what's-her-name (Derpy? Yeah! Derpy) like that. And I heard that she re-built John's house. Guess that would explain the awful room.

Poor John. I feel kinda bad for the pony. I mean, really. That BlueMoon chick was AWFUL. Why she went after John like that confused everyone in town, I think.

Anyway, I guess that's enough writing for today. I oughtta...

...wait...

...

OH MY GOSH!!! IS THIS JOHN'S DIARY?!!?!

Dear John,

I'm really really really really really really sorry! I accidentally wrote in your diary thinking it was my journal! They both look the same, you know? I mean, I saw the blank page and just assumed I'd put my journal in the kitchen instead of the guest room. Please forgive me, dude! I'm really sorry! PLEASE don't read what I wrote in here! PLEASE!

-Spike

Well, Diary, that was very scary. It would appear that young Mr. Spike accidentally wrote in here, mistaking this book for his own journal. Of course, I do forgive him, he clearly did not know any better, but I was rather taken aback by all the exclamation points he put in his note to me. Oh well. At least he thought to cross out his accidental entry. I would not have taken so much as a peek as is, mind you, but the thought of accidentally reading someone else's private thoughts is quite unnerving.

Oh, and the reason I preferred him crossing out his thoughts here and the reason that I did not cross out the entry in Miss BlueMoon's section was simply because his thoughts were more private (and true) than that other pony's.

Well, it is getting late and it is time for me to get to bed.

Goodnight, Diary.

Sincerely,

John