1000 Ways To Die

Date: September 24, 2017
Location: Human World, Camp Everfree

Welcome to Camp Everfree, the nicest camp to go to when you visit the Human World. It's a nice camp filled with activities for everyone. It's also surrounded by beautiful nature. However, nature also has predators of every size. Out for a hike near Camp Everfree you could see many creatures. One girl that's out for a hike didn't know that she looked like a walking T-bone slathered in butter. That's because the most notorious predator of them all was stalking her.

"Grrrrrr!!!!"

It wasn't a bear it was something else. The legend himself. Bigfoot.

"Rargh!!!!" Bigfoot jumps out from the bushes.

"Ahhhh!!!!" The girl runs away screaming.

We have a human known as Wild Catch who knows about hunting and Bigfoot. "Each year was have approximately two hundred to five hundred Bigfoot sightings that are reported throughout the world. Many believe that only twenty percent of these sightings are actual Bigfoot sightings. Some are possibly a bear on two feet. In reality if someone saw it. They're not going to mistake it for something else.

The girl went up to Timber Spruce. He usually kept everyone safe at Camp Everfree.

"Excuse me, something is out there moving in the woods. It's huge and I think it's hungry."

That's all Timber Spruce had to here. He grabbed his dart gun to put the animal to sleep. Another thing you have to know about Timber Spruce he was a BFB. Bigfoot Believer. If he can catch him, he would have all the evidence he would need. He went out and looked around to find his target.

"Grrrrr!!"

He heard growling and saw his target a few feet away. Bigfoot was big. He put in a big tranquillizer in his gun. He took aim and...

*Bang!!!!*

Fired. He hit his mark.

*Plop*

Bigfoot fell to the ground. Timber Spruce was happy. Until he saw a zipper on Bigfoot's back, he realized that this was a person. He took of the mask and saw it was person he knew.

"Filthy Rich!! Oh my god!!" Timber Spruce shouted.

Filthy Rich wanted Camp Everfree. However, he could never get it. He tried many ways to buy it and even Timber Spruce wouldn't take his offer. Filthy Rich decided if he couldn't get it with money, he would scare everyone away. It was a long shot. It was also stupid. He dressed as Bigfoot and began to scare everyone. Sadly, it didn't go as he planned.

The tranquillizer Timber Spruce shot Filthy Rich with was filled with Carfentanil. A powerful drug used for large animal like elephants. Enough to stun them. For a human it is highly toxic.

Sci-Twi tell us what happened to Filthy Rich.

"When the mass of amount of Carfentanil entered his body, complete humanistic collapse followed. His blood pressure went down dramatically. His urge to breathe shut down. He subsequently died because of complete breakdown of the bodies functions."

Bigfoot if your reading this. Sit back and relax. With idiots like Filthy Rich here...you got nothing to worry about.

Way To Die #111: Myth Busted