1000 Ways To Die

Date: June 14, 2020
Location: Eastern Seas, Shrimp Island

Welcome to Shrimp Island. If you never heard of it, then consider yourself lucky. This island is not well known. Celestia herself does know about it but decides to keep it a secret. A tribe of ponies that have been cut off from the rest of Equestria live there. They also have their own native language. Celestia tried to make peace with them and show them the rest of Equestria. The only problem is that they were not used to the diseases that the rest of Equestria had developed immune to. When the tribe died after their first contact with foreigners, they considered any foreigner an enemy.

Right now, the tribe was going through troubled times. A typhoon hit their island, and they were short on supplies including food.

“Can we get any food! I’m sick of eating nothing but pineapple! I want meat!” The chief of the tribe shouted.

You heard that right. Meat. This tribe were omnivores. They were not herbivores like other ponies. Even though they could eat fruit they were getting tired of eating nothing but fruit for weeks.

Near the island a speedboat was passing by with two ponies. These two ponies were Jet Set and Upper Crust. These two ponies were rich and decided to hit the waters for a nice little vacation. The only problem was Jet Set sucked at reading a map. They had somepony that helped them drive the speed boat and help with directions. However, they fired him because even though they were rich. They didn’t like paying other ponies. They were jerks to everypony. Always thinking they were the top and everypony else was below them. They thought they were hot property and everypony adored them. Now they were alone.

“Do you have any idea where we are? In fact, I don’t even think this island is even mentioned on this map.” Upper Crust said.

“I’m trying all right. If this island isn’t mentioned, then it’s probably abandoned, and no one lives there. It’s probably inhabited by wild animals.”

Just when things turned from bad to worse. They were lost and their speedboat was having malfunctions. Reluctantly they decided to land on the island and used a radio they had to call for help. However, they had no such luck getting signal. Just before they began to panic a pony from the tribe saw them.

“Hello. Can you help us? We are stuck here. We didn’t even know this island was inhabited.” Upper Crust said to the pony from the tribe.

The pony looked at both of them not knowing what they were saying. He knew foreigners were enemies and must be killed. However, this pony had an idea and motioned them to follow him.

Jet Set and Upper Crust followed the pony. He led them to the chief who was angry about what he did. Then the pony whispered something into the chief’s ear and then he smiled. The chief shouted something in his foreign language, and before Jet Set and Upper Crust knew. They were knocked out from behind.

When they woke up their day turned from bad to worse. They woke up in a big caldron filled with hot water, carrots, and some celery. They were burning and realized they were in a cauldron of soup. The tribe danced around them. Jet Set and Upper Crust screamed.

“Ahhh!!! Let us out!!!” Jet Set screamed trying to get out of the caldron.

A tribe pony pushed him back in.

Upper Crust skin began to burn. “Ahh!!! You all are psychopaths!!!”

The tribe pony that found them had the idea that since the rest of the tribe wanted meat. These two would be on the menu.

After two hours of their skin began to blister. Another hour the tribe began to cut them open. What made it worse was they were still alive feeling all the pain. Then the last hour they finally scummed to the heat and cuts. Jet Set and Upper Crust died a slow and painful death.

The tribe had a great feast that night. They ate these two until nothing, but bone and their heads were left on the table. Their heads were the best part. The tribe ponies broke their skulls and ate the meat inside including their brains.

Jet Set and Upper Crust thought that everpony was below them. They were jerks. They thought they were hot property. They sure were. They were so hot…when they were being burned alive.

Way To Die #151: Brain Stew