1000 Ways To Die

Date: September 9, 2022
Location: Human World, Another Life Hospital

“Let’s go Wonderbolts!!”

You see that girl cheering. Her name was Golden Hazel. There was a football game tonight, and she loved rooting for her favorite team. Another thing she liked to do during football nights was drinking beer after beer. Many football fanatics have their own way of celebrating a game. Some however, take it too far. Pinkie Pie, who is a party planner and knows how to celebrate many things can tell us all about it.

“Football games are fun and a great place to cheer. There are two kinds of football fanatics out there. We have the classy, respectful, and joyful ones. Then we have the morons. These morons do cheer, but they go over the top. I have been close to becoming the moron. What makes the moron worse is when they are drunk. They can’t think straight, they start ruining the fun for other people, get into fights, and ruin your whole night.”

During the game Golden Hazel was ruining the fun for everyone. Being drunk she began hugging people she didn’t know. She even got touchy with some girls. Finally, security got word of it and kicked her out. Then she did the stupidest thing she could have done. Instead of calling for a ride she decided to drive herself home.

“Oh, a pretty red light!” She shouted while driving.

*Crash!!!*

Golden Hazel was hit while driving. When they got her out of her car, which was a complete wreck. She was officially pronounced dead. They checked her license and one person from the emergency car had something to say.

“We got an organ donor.” He said.

Golden Hazel was an organ donor. They put her in the ambulance and took her to Give a Life Hospital. This hospital was for organ donations.

Once they were at the hospital, they used a beating heart cadaver to keep her heart pumping to keep her organs healthy. This machine keeps the heart going even if the patient is brain dead. The transplant surgeons got to work cutting into Golden Hazel. Everything seemed to be going fine.

“Okay let’s get the kidneys.” A surgeon said while cutting.

Golden Hazel was still like a mannequin with her eyes open. If only she could have shouted and screamed for the surgeon to stop. You see there was one problem with what they were doing. Golden Hazel was still alive. She was one of the handful of accident victims per year who are mistakenly confirmed dead when they aren’t. We got the human nurse Tenderheart who is also a surgeon that does organ surgeries that knows some cases like this.

“When we find someone who’s an organ donor, we check their vital signs to see if we can officially pronounced, they are dead. If it is confirmed, we hurry to get the organs to a place to keep them healthy to give to another patient that needs it. However, there are some cases that are very rare when a patient could still be alive even when they are pronounced dead. This woman had minimal brain activity still in her. The only problem was the only activity she had was to feel and see. She couldn’t move, scream, or do anything to stop them. Since the brain activity was so minimal it probably wasn’t picked up.”

Golden Hazel was in a living hell. She was feeling every cut, slice, and pain. They were killing her slowly.

“Okay last but not least the heart.” One of the surgeons said.

Golden Hazel screamed internally. Felt the pain when they cut her arteries. The last thing she saw was the surgeon taking her heart out.

Golden Hazel was a moron who drank and drived. Like some ads say, choose your ride. The back of a taxi, or the back of a police truck. They should an ambulance to that ad. Golden Hazel loved football she watched it, breathed it, loved it, and it was in her heart…To bad they cut it out of her.

Way To Die #152: Drunk Die-er