1000 Ways To Die

Date: November 4, 2022
Location: Human World, Outside Blueberry’s House

Blueberry Cake was a simple human finally glad that the calendar finally flipped to November. Right now, she was hanging as much lights and decorations as she could all over her house. She was already ready for the most wonderful time of the year. Maybe a bit early.

“It’s not even close to December Miss.” One person said passing by.

“Oh please. Where’s your holiday spirit?” Blueberry said back.

Blueberry was a Christmas fanatic, and many neighbors were starting to hate the lights she was putting up. There were so many that it was hard for her neighbors to sleep.

One neighbor decided to confront her. “Listen miss your lights are too bright! Me and my family can’t sleep!”

“It’s only half set up. I’m just spreading holiday cheer.” Blueberry said while throwing fake snow out of a sack she was holding.

She may have thought she was spreading holiday cheer. To her neighbors she was a complete nuisance. Complaints during Christmas isn’t anything new. We have the human chief of police Shining Armor here that has heard this problem many times before.

“We get many complaints with neighbors during the Christmas time that may go a bit overboard with their decorations. It could be too bright, loud, or even going on someone else’s property. One crazy complaint I saw was one person who hated Christmas and made this Nightmare before Christmas decoration. He had a headless Santa, dead angels, and even bright lights pointing it right at his neighbor’s windows. First, we give them a warning. If they don’t stop it becomes a fine.”

Blueberry didn’t care. The cops had been called and every fine she got she had paid off. Nothing would stop her this Christmas.

“Now just one more thing.” She said. She went to her garage grabbed a ladder, and a sound system. She was going to set up a sound system on her roof that would play Christmas music all day. Once she was on the roof, she plugged in the sound system to an extension cord, and it began to play.

“Deck the halls with boughs of holly!!!” The sound system played loudly.

Blueberry began to try to come down her roof to see her all her hard work. However, her left foot got stuck on another extension cord on her roof and wrapped around her left leg.

“Woah!”

*Bang*

“Ow!” Blueberry Cake was lucky. If it wasn’t for that extension cord wrapping around her leg, she would have fallen all the way down. Instead, she just banged her head on the side of her house. She tried to free herself but to no avail. She was upside down and she tried to free herself. After twenty minutes she began to panic.

“Help!” She shouted.

Sadly no one could hear her due to her sound system. She was becoming a Human Ornament.

Being upside down for a long period of time can lead to fatal consequences. Human Red Heart what could happen.

“When inverted, the lungs can become compressed by heavier organs, making it challenging to absorb sufficient oxygen, especially when the head is positioned directly beneath the feet. Prolonged inversion can result in blood pooling in the brain, potentially causing ruptured blood vessels and brain hemorrhages, and heart failure due to the heart's inability to manage the increased blood flow and maintain blood pressure. After about one hour you’re heading to the danger zone. In about two you would hopefully lose consciousness, so you don’t feel much pain. In about three you would feel extreme pain. In four hours, you would die.

After four hours trying to scream for help. Feeling excruciating pain, Blueberry Cake was hanging upside down lifeless at the side of her house. She became a human ornament.

Merry Christmas Blueberry Cake. Don’t worry, Christmas is only 51 days away. From now on your troubles will be out of sight…Forever.

Way To Die #153: Death The Halls