1000 Ways To Die

Date: October 5, 2016
Location: Canterlot, Doodles Playground

Sunrises on Equestria at six o' clock. Thanks to Princess Celestia it's going to be a beautiful day. Oh, Except for Bet Hard. You see Bet Hard is in a little swing for foals. Why is he there so early and motionless. Well...He's dead. It all happened a couple hours earlier last night.

*Seven Hours Earlier*

Bet Hard and his three friends went out to drink at a bar. Dizzy's Bar. This bar was famous for one thing. Lots of ponies made bets in this bar. Bet Hard always bet on anything and pretty much-won anything. On this night one stallion bet him to see if he can fit in a little foal swing. One thing you need to know about Bet Hard. He was fat. He never worked out and he didn't have a job and he drank almost every night. He usually got his money from bets. He had a special somepony that he scared off and now he decided if he couldn't find anypony he would just enjoy his days. When Bet Hard heard that bet he told the stallion he would be right back as Bet Hard left the bar.

Bet Hard went back to his home and grabbed some butter. He came back to the bar and looked for the stallion.

"Hey. I got some butter and I'm ready for your bet. So where is the foal swing?" Bet Hard asked.

With his three friends and the stallion taking him to a park for this bet to start they began to wonder if Bet Hard is going too far. They didn't think Bet Hard could fit in a foal's swing. Not to mention 800 bits was on the line. They went to a playground owned by a pony named Doodles. Guess what. That was Bet Hard's old special somepony. Stil Bet Hard didn't give a shit.

"Alright, guys butter me up." He said to his friends.

"You sure about this. I don't think you can fit in that swing." One of his friends said.

"Just butter me up." Bet Hard said.

His three friends started buttering his hooves and thighs. Finally after a couple of minutes, Bet Hard squeezed his blubber into the swing and-

*Plop*

He was in. His friends cheered for him and the stallion put the bag full of bits on the ground. The Stallion left while his friends pretended Bet Hard was a foal.

"You okay there little guy." One of his friends said.

"I want my mommy! Hahaha!!!" Bet Hard said laughing.

However, for a joke, his three friends decided to leave him there until morning when Doodle came.

"See ya later man and say hello to Doodle for me."

"See ya."

"Bye."

"Hey, where are you all going!!! Get me out of this thing!!!"

Bet Hard was stuck in the swing. He struggled and tried to get out for hours. Finally after hours a struggling he screamed for help.

"HELP!!! ANYPONY!!! *Sniff* PLEASE!!" Bet Hard who was a bet master became a crying foal in the swing.

Finally after six hours, Bet Hard was feeling excruciating pain on his appendix.

"ARGHH!!! FUCK!!!

He didn't know but he had the early stages of appendicitis. He stuck his blubber in that swing real good. Hey, Nurse Redheart has anypony else tried to stuff themselves into something small.

"I've seen cases where ponies get stuck in sewer holes, a chimney, a traffic cone on their head, and a swing for a foal I've seen before but never seen a stallion this big fit in it. This stallion's appendix got blocked and when that happens. It could burst and all these toxins are released into your blood system. The toxins would travel very rapidly and this stallion ended up dying a very quick death."

Finally in the morning at six Doodle came and saw Bet Hard and saw he was dead with a bag full of bits on the floor.

"Told you those bets would get you killed one day. You stupid loser." Doodle said grabbing the bits and called someponies to get this ponies body out of here.

Bet Hard stuck his blubber into a foal swing. He won the bet. But in the end...He actually lost the bet.

Way To Die #68: Odds Are You're Dead