1000 Ways To Die

Date: July 21, 2008
Location: Manehattan, Orchid Jewel's House

Okay everypony meet Orchid Jewel a simple business pony that never really has a day to relax because she had a stressful job, but it paid well. She was a pony that never really had a minute to spare. She lived in a neighborhood that was middle class. Everything in her life was close to okay. However, her neighbor who lived next to her was an environmentalist. His name is Reuse. She didn't care about the environment and every time she came from work, she would here Reuse tell her something.

"Hey, Jewel, I know your busy, but I saw you in the morning throwing some plastic cups in the trash do you mind throwing them in your recycle bin."

"How about stop stalking me when I’m throwing my trash away and if I ever see you watching me, I'll shove my trash up your tail hole!!" Jewel shouted.

"No need to get all violent." Reuse said while throwing away stuff in his recycle bin.

Once Jewel was in her house, she grabbed a pillow from her bed and screamed in it. She has had a stressful day and tomorrow looked like it was going to be even more stressful. However, she had something that would help her take care of that. Due to her stressful job. Jewel had become a Geophage. That means she's a pony that has a habit of eating clay, mud or dirt. Twilight explain to us more about this habit.

" Geophage is a disorder where a pony is either eating dirt because they are lacking something nutritionally or because they are using it to manage their anxiety and stress."

Jewel had been eating dirt for awhile now but where did she get it. At a park. However, she was worried somepony would see her picking up dirt and question her. Then she realized the closest dirt patch she had was Reuser's garden. She would sneak into his garden and take some dirt put it in a plastic bag and eat it in her house. Good deal. Well not really. If Reuse saw her, he would have told Jewel to stop because what Jewel didn't realize was Reuser's dirt was a homemade mixture of compost of his own waste matter. Nurse Red Heart why is that bad.

"When somepony ingests fecal matter, they're ingesting the waste product of our digestive system. They can contract several diseases. One of those being Escherichia coli also known as E. coli."

Jewel had contracted a deadly strain of E. coli. Her symptoms included nausea and diarrhea but no fever. She thought she had a mild flu.

"Ugh what is wrong with me...Blugh!" Jewel said while vomiting.

She didn't bother to see a doctor and bought medicine. However, that didn't work and after three days the E. coli bacteria inflamed her colon and spread throughout her digestive tract. Eventually her kidneys began to fail. Poisoning the rest of her body. Finally.

*Plop*

Within a week she fell dead near her toilet. Red Heart explain a bit more about E. coli.

"More Virulent strains of E. coli can actually cause what we call bloody diarrhea and this results and not only hemorrhage, but it can actually invade the kidneys. Which could kill somepony."

Jewel ate dirt like there was no tomorrow. Good thing she did because when she ate it her days were numbered. Now there is definitely...No tomorrow for her.

Way To Die #93: Potty Mouth