1000 Ways To Die

by TheAngryVideoGameColt

Bird Catcher

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Date: September 18, 2008
Location: Train Heading To Canterlot

"Sleep little ones. Sleep." A pony whispering to his bag. Now he isn’t crazy even though everypony else looking at him in the train station is looking at him thinking he is crazy. Say hello to Bird Catcher and earth pony stallion. You could say he is in the import business. His specialty. Exotic birds. He smuggles them and tapes them down in his luggage and sells them to whoever pays up the most. He is a wildlife smuggler. Fluttershy what do you have to say about wildlife smugglers.

"Humph wildlife smugglers are awful! Um sorry about yelling. Wildlife smuggling as an illicit industry which generates twenty billion bits a year worldwide but is awful for the animals. They are sometimes hurt or even die when they are smuggled by these ponies. They sell them for either collectors or to some others that like to eat these animals. It's just awful."

Bird Catcher got on the train and when the ponies checked his bag, they saw nothing. He knew how to hide the birds very well. Bird Catcher was a natural at hiding things it would take a couple of hours for the train to arrive to his destination. So, he decided to take a little nap. He sure had a long day finding those birds, so he deserved it. Four hours later the train had not arrived at its destination. After a four-hour nap Bird Catcher wakes up a very sick pony.

" I don't feel so well."

Someponies began to take notice. He went to the bathroom coughing violently. Finally, he thought he just had a mild sickness and went back to his seat. He began to sweat profusely. Then he began vomiting liquid. Ponies began to scream and the workers on the train came to see what was going on.

"Oh my. Sir are you alright."

"What's happening to m- *Blugh!!*" Bird Catcher couldn't finish his sentence as he vomited again.

Finally, after a minute of everpony yelling and screaming about what's going on. Bird Catcher lands on the ground dead. One of the workers checks Bird Catcher's bag to see if he had something in there that made him sick. He checked it carefully and saw exotic birds in there. Before they could fly away he zips the bag up and calls the bio-hazard ponies to meet them at the next train station to give everypony a vaccine and clean this train. Why you ask. Because Bird Flu has just infected this train. Fluttershy explain this sickness.

"Avian Flu or more commonly known as Bird Flu, mutated and was able to infect ponies and much others. This stallion began to experience typical flu like symptoms. Fever, sore throat, coughing, sneezing, and vomiting. He developed a particularly lethal version of this flu. His lungs filled up with fluid and he died from this sickness. I make sure that every bird I see and take care of is healthy and does not have this disease."

Bird Catcher caught birds for a living to get rich. The birds had enough of what he was doing and decided to make him catch something else. He Caught Bird Flu. In the end his life of crime caught up and his life...Flew off.

Way To Die #95: Tweetment

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