Chapters Twisted Metal: The easy road
"Was it a dream or was all real? If so what do I do?" Those are the questions I had as I sat on the floor of the motel surrounded with nothing but darkness of nothingness, thinking of the outcome scenario I need to do once I wake up and see the truth, and in complete honesty some of them although they are annoying and not easy but rather pain to my neck seeing how I prefer to take easy options, but when you go through the same road I went you would understand.
So what if it was all dream and I woke up back in my house? Well, I had two choices: one of them is pure and simple, the other is annoying but maybe necessary like I stated before.
The easy way is simply not taking it fully seriously and tell the story to my friends when we hang out later on at the end of the weekend like we always do, or I just go to my parents and ask them if it's okay to visit a therapist.
So… what if it is real? Well, this is where things got tricky for me.
Seeing I am not much of fan of the show I knew I had two choices:
1) Finding the main characters, trying to ignore their annoying personality and hoping they didn't change and ask them to get me back home.
2) Join into this suicidal tournament and hope I don't die or get mugged… yeah, I felt from the deepest of my heart that will happen but I had no choice seeing the circumstances I was in.
But till I wake up and see the truth I shall wait.
So some of you may be asking "what did discord do to me?" well that's what I wanted to know as well, for the moment I woke up from my deep slumber. Looking all around my body from any sort of mutation, from left to right, and up to down.
Thankfully as far my eye sight told me, there were no changes on me… or so I thought, for when I finished the full inspection on my whole body I realized that I was standing with my four hooves. I Walked! I jumped! I had no trouble with my new body at all, and to make it even more interesting! I knew how to drive a car as a horse.
Clever, Discord didn't want me to use "you are unfair" card on him, but that still didn't fix the problem of finding myself a car. Looking back at the papers which were scattered around the floor thanks to Discord's special gift. I carried all of the paper and put them in the plastic bag which it used to carry the noodles Discord gave to me, till I find myself pants I will have no choice but to carry my belongings with my mouth.
So I had one week to find car, clothes, learn how to drive crazy person style, and then go to the place known as ponyville, how hard could it be?
The answer is kind of in between!?
When I got out of the motel I realized I didn't have any money or anything worth to trade including the noodles… Discord chose a really good kind of sweet noodles, thankfully I didn't need to find myself a job or something like that.
Turns out the driver license not only allowed me to drive a car and announced as a contestant but also it is an open Buffet of everything I want… kind of.
As I look around all kind of stores I learned that, it wasn't joke when I saw there are rules in this twisted game- pun not intended- and this license is one of them.
So pretty much there is two kind of them:
The first which I called it 'premium' is given by the winners from the previous tournament, people with high ranks and royalty, and survivors who got lucky. Where they are allowed all sort of fancy healthy approved meals, solid strong parts for the car they drive for more improvements and good clothes protecting them from any sort of danger.
The second aka 'free' which is the one I have is half the deal the winners get, I am not allowed to go to five stars places so I am only allowed to wear normal clothes with zero protection, eat from restaurants which may result in food poisoning… unless I get sponsored by some car company.
Yeah! Apparently, not only the rules are focused on the contest but also for the business horses who want to use it for their own profit reasons, as long they follow the rules obviously. I didn't expect Discord to do something economical... I guess even the god of chaos need to pay his bills and support his loved subjects.
So the tricky part is here: in order to get a car, I need to find car company where they have to accept and sponsor me.
Pretty much each side get benefit from it: The contestant get car armed with all sort of firepower and best kind of armor and good performance, fix any damages after battle, and fill them with every info they need on the enemy they are fighting against along with the location they are fighting in, in exchange they get customers from all around the world who witnessed their manufactured car's actions, creating more armed cars for the incoming demands comes from it. The business whoever is narrow, since the cars are only allowed for the death race unless Discord gives permission for another usage.
Finding clothes was easy, although they weren't as safe as the ones on the ads around the streets or like some of the other challengers whom I witnessed along the way, they still covered me which it's still a win for me. I walked around the streets with sports clothes: gray stretch comfy pants which it had pockets, thankfully some place for my papers to be placed and relax my hurt almost got numb jaw, and blue hoodie for the cool looks.
The restaurants in Manehattan were surprisingly pretty good, the horses knew how to make delicious cheese burger, except it was hay instead of meat. I had to train myself to survive with this new diet.
Now that I was done with the good easy quests which only took me few hours to finish, I went to the difficult annoying part… finding car company to save my sorry ass.
It was as difficult as I assumed it to be, for after five days of hard search, pain, and agony I turned with empty han- hooves!
Turns out the companies existence wasn't only based solely on business and profit, but also a plan CEO made for the sake of winning the competition, yes some of them are part of this fight, but unlike the other contestants they can sit on the seat of the company and jump in whenever they want… as long there is one of their sponsored fighters still there, of course, they still need to fight them if they want to proceed, but according to some policy, if the CEO lost, the person who defeated him owns the company.
Although the loss is huge the reward is as big as the risk for they got more than one wish, for they show the fans all over Equestria how reliable their products are and how strong and fast their vehicle and how it is better than their competitors.
So what companies I stumbled on? Why they refused me?
Fancypants for your wild fancy wishes: A very respectful company which is respected by many according to the waitress who served me lunch. it's CEO, Mister Fancypants who didn't wear pants at all. He is a unicorn with white fur, blue hair with a small fancy mustache, protruding chest, and an exceptionally large horn, and his tattoos known as cutie mark -but I will call it mark since it sounds girly- were three crowns. He lives in a place called Canterlot, a city built next to a beautiful castle lost its shine, a place where princess Celestia used to live in before Discord's jump in.
I visited one of his company, where I was completely rejected before I could fully be introduced myself to them. Apparently, they only allowed professional people, people who have past experiment with cars. I assumed they saw I had no experience at all is when they saw me walked all the way to the company's long road which I passed an endless line of cars whose drivers looked at me in a provoked way.
Prince Blueblood's royal palace: Funny enough I knew who this horse is, sadly after many attempts to enter other respectful companies this one was the last high ranked company I wanted to go to.
So the CEO of this company who's ads took an entire page in newspapers and some propaganda paper on the walls stating how being in his company is for the better good
… blueblood.
What do I even say about this horse? I mean, when heard this character's name nothing good comes from him and for good reason.
For this unicorn with white fur, blonde hair, and his compass rose mark lies a really hungry for power and an attention whorse.
After the fall of the alicorns, Discords wanted to make sure that anyone related to Celestia won't try anything smart so he jailed every horse he sees in the family tree or something like that.
So What about Blueblood? Apparently, there have been rumors around the streets, some of them are bad, some of them are horrible.
The first rumors I heard is that Blueblood along with some nobles worked with Discord to take down his aunt and get to take her place in exchange for Discord takes over the rest of the lands… only to be backstabbed by Discord.
The other rumor is that Blueblood escaped Discord's grasps, and created this company so he can defeat Discord and bring Equestria back to its glory days.
This is the part I didn't buy, for I met Blueblood personally.
Unlike Fancypants who manage his business in Canterlot the place of royalty and high-class horses, he was here in Manehattan.
So the introduction didn't go well, let's just say I lost it when he spoke. When a fucking horse starts to make fun of you, your fashion, your attempt to become part of 'glorious company,' and making fun of your family… things go personally in extreme level.
I couldn’t lay a fing-hoof on him for the security was there prepared for any attacks, and by the looks of it I wasn't the first, but at least I gave him more original insults for him to hear. The face he made gave me hope to keep going more and more, although I got punched by one of the security guards who were ordered by Blue balls… it was all worth it.
Flim Flam's for your survival needs: From the top high mountain I went to the lowest pit I end, and boy this is one hell of a pit those twins made.
So the Flim Flam brothers, the two unicorns with confusing mark: One who took a small piece of the apple, and the other took the rest and got a fancy mustache.
In complete honesty, I didn't like these two, and it began when I took a tour in that place with them escorting me. They kept talking and talking endlessly in fast paced speech and liked to stop mid-sentence for the other to finish which made me confused and it didn't help the case the place is crap.
Once the tour was over they gave me the option to join their cause... I refused!
I was desperate, but not that desperate!
Those were the most memorial moments in my journey for finding anyone to make me a car, although there were others I could mention something tells me those folks for you boys and girls to know about.
Two days remain for the twisted metal to start and I still didn't get any results from this journey.
I face planted on the table of the restaurant I started to get fond of waiting for my dinner as I cried in rage as the hope flew away from me, none of the companies who were either good or decent accepted me, and my moments with the Flim Flam's showed me not to bother with any company with below decent.
As I ate my meal with dried tears a small hope dropped on the table.
The waitress, Pancake meal a kind chubby married earth horse, orange fur, and brown hair, and pancake with butter and maple syrup on top as her mark is kind mare whom I became friendly with on the third day with my ninth visit every breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
came to me and told me an information which raised my morale a little bit.
Her family, although they didn't have big fancy restaurants they still had connection all over the place and according to her, she knew someone who could help me… someone who could bring me a car.
She told me the story about him, how he used to have company of himself, how this company is aimed to help those in need and create cars at the same time for the sake of blending in with the rest to avoid Discord's wrath, and by the looks of where she told me where he lived I could say he lost everything.
His name is Hay seed truck, a very talented earth pony with unfortunate luck and wasted potential.
Pancake told me that now he lives in the junkyard, the only place where discord threw him along with other as a proper punishment to those who thought it is wise to throw all the generosity the god of chaos gave to them.
The good news the place wasn't pretty far, as soon I finished my meal and thank Pancake I ran toward the place she pointed to.
The junkyard!
I excepted a place where I simply see workers and hay seed among them, another wrong prediction by me.
The place didn't have any machines to destroy the cars, apparently, ponies from different race each fulfilled the certain job.
The Pegasus job was to collect every scrap worth collecting and throw it to the Unicorns, where they start to dismantle the pieces throwing the useless ones to the recycle machine while for the good thrown to the wagon where it's pushed by the earth pony where it's headed to the company they are signed to go to.
Finding Hay seed wasn't that hard for the details gave to me by pancake: beige-colored coat, a two-tone brown mane and tail, brown eyes, and a mark of three turnips.
I used my new name to hide my identity in fear that Discord would appear on me and make me suffer, I told him everything about my journey, how I was rejected by so many of these companies, how almost lost hope and my desire for him to help me win.
I gave him promise that my wish wasn't evil or chaotic of some sort, I just couldn’t tell him for safety reasons.
Long story short he rejected me, he told me how he stopped doing this business anymore, how he used to have beautiful family supporting him to the point he built a company of his own.
I explained to him I knew the story: how his company had more than one job, how he saved lives by building the homes of the innocents who were victims of this insane competition, and how Discord discovered his little charity acts…only to be received a shook his head.
I was right at the beginning and middle, but the end is where I mistook the small truth, Discord wasn't the one who shut his company… it was him.
He didn't deny that what he did was wrong: how he created these cars for some desperate souls to jumps on and drive all the way to the cliff, how he always sent group of workers to go to the destruction where the fight has ended to save those who couldn't escape, how he done the same over and over realizing slowly what his company doing… what he was doing simply repeat itself over and over.
This is where he decided to shut down his company completely, making sure none of his apple family think of taking over his place. He wanted to stop the guilt… he simply wanted to impress her. to show her how he became a man, not a monster!
When he mentioned the apple family I asked him what happened to them? What happened to elements?
He told me the apple family was fine… most of them! The apple family who used to live in Ponyville, the place turned into a battlefield where every year the contest starts in this place. The place Discord fought the mane six and defeated them, the reason why they were defeated is that Discord managed to slip free twice, where he attacked the mane six in a state where they gave up their element to the Everfree forest.
The surprising fact is that the mane six didn't get killed, Discord spared them giving them chance to fight back... in his own game and rules.
After all these years only one of the elements died … a mare by the name of Rarity.
Apparently, she, along with her friends excluding mare by the name of Fluttershy planned to play Discord's game as a team. Everything was going smoothly for them till they reached the level where she lost her life.
The place she fought was a place known as the Crystal kingdom or known as the northern kingdom, a very dangerous place filled all sort of traps place filled with crystals.
The main five were fighting very deadly fighters who weren't ready to give up easily, Rarity drove her car with efficiency and elegance which filled the place with cheers.
Everything was sweet and dandy til a car called lightning strike shot Rarity's left back tire... the fact the place floor she was in was slippy didn't help her situation one bit.
Rarity swung and swung all over the place till she rammed to a wall of destroyed a house… made of crystals. Yeah! the scene wasn't pretty when the sharp side of the crystals pierced through her flesh pulling one of her eyeballs outside her head and the fact this detail was told by hay seed himself made me feel sorry for him, and it's coming from a man who hates ponies.
And what made hay seed's story, even more, sadder is that the car responsible for Rarity's death was built by his company.
He killed his loved one, he killed Rarity!
He broke in tears, kept repeating how it was his fault, and how it should've been him and not her!
It was a sad story, and I wanted to leave him be… but my desire to go back home made me wipe my tears away and tried to use his destroyed state he was in my advantage.
I told him that it wasn't his fault and that he didn't know it was gonna happen.
The speech made him listen but he wasn't convinced… so I played the ace card, I gave him a cause. Vengeance! It was a low blow of me when I used that excuse, but he was my only way to get a car and compete to this fight.
I asked him about the driver, how chaotic he was- where he told me it's a mare aka girl- and if she showed any sign of remorse… turns out she wasn't which made my manipulation even easier.
Speech wasn't my best skills but fortunately for me, hay was too down to the point I played it well if I say so myself… although it kind of took a lot of hours.
Hay seed accepted my deal. Vengeance on the one who killed his loved one in exchange of car and service.
He took me to a faraway garage which it was far enough from any witnesses, Hay seed whispered to me that no one in the junkyard is allowed to make a car so if anyone sees us pull a car out of thin air we will get reported which is something I didn't want it to happen.
We reached our destination, Hay seed told me to wait for him as he went inside to prepare it for me.
After fifteen minutes of walk around in a circle the garage door opened, Hay seed came out with the car where he drove it outside.
It was… rusty piece of scrap, literally it was the car looked like it took from pieces of other cars as sign of desperate attempt to call itself a car. And to make it more ironic it's called Road kill would be my fate if I didn't get improved one .
Hay seed gave me the bad news: this was the only car he had at his disposal, it was gathered and assembled with heart and passion. It may be looked it's about to fall it in its first attempt, but in reality, this car is as deadly as the rest… it just needs some small improvement which can only happen once I win my first round of the fight.
So here I was, I had a car, and I had a mechanic who gave me every info I need.
Now I needed to train myself with to drive like a mad horse and hear everything I needed from hayseed while I drove to Ponyville since it was pretty far from Manehattan, I had to train myself along the road.
Everything was set, I felt ready and prepared to win this fight… till hayseed asked me if I had a partner to navigate and prepare the guns.
I drove toward a battlefield with no navigator gunner, and I didn't have any time to stop to ask for someone to join me in a suicide mission to fulfill my selfish goal.
It was this moment I realized...I was so screwed in that incoming fight
Author's Note
To those who don't know or remember Hay seed truck, don't worry I got you covered
And next chapter shall appear once I finish dealing with life
Twisted Metal: The easy road
Chapter 2: Finding the way out
As I drove road kill -the most ironic name I can think of- toward the car scrap battlefield, I spent the road asking hay seed about what can he tell me about that place by the name of 'ponyville,' what sort of weapons my car can store and how does transfer it to my car before I turn into a beautiful Firefly and how many foes will I deal?
Answering the first question, I could sense a hint of disgust hay seed gave through the car's ham radio, that place I was sent to is a known loved place by many.
Ponyvile, the village where the heroes of Equestria met, the place where they gave away their ultimate over powered secret weapon for some selfish forest, and the place where they got defeated by the creature of chaos, Discord.
Also it was the opening reminder to all how much grateful Discord was to that place on how it gave him the chance to win this fight, to him it is a great 'thank you' to the place to be part of his master plan game of his, but to many who used to live in that place it's a horrible act which resulted on ponies leave their home.
Very sad, but I had to keep move on while stopped at the gas stop for some refill for both my car, adrenaline, and hunger.
Continue on Hey seed explained to me that road kill along with the other vehicles have magical artifacts manufactured by Discord himself installed in them which gave them the following:
1– The ability to transfer weapons, ammo, and health for my car, which can be found somewhere in the battlefield floating somewhere close to the ground with faint glow so it cannot be hard to see the car magically without the need to transfer it manually… thank god.
2– Enhancing the vehicle's defense and turbo for fast escape which can be re-charged the same way as ammo.
3– contains four stored spells in the car, Hay seed guided me to the buttons of these spells which are: temporary shield, freeze spell, and a mine, like before it can be recharged like ammo once it is used once.
4– and the silliest thing I ever heard is the ability to mini-jump, pretty useful for little extra height when near a cliff.
As for foes… I had to deal with seven at this round.
Still, more for me to go in this long endless road, I scrolled around the weapon choices and see what can each of these do in the fight exactly:
Machine Gun
The machine gun is your default, built-in weapon. There is no limit to its ammo thankfully - so I will never run out of machine gun bullets. whoever the guns do overheat, so I should pay attention to the Machine Gun Light which informs how close it is to overheat. Pretty useful for harassment… when I have the guts to be the hunter.
Homing
A great tracking weapon, but only useful in bunches obviously. To effectively use the homing weapon, which is the best tracking weapon of all I have to either target a weak target or give a threat shot to scare them off.
Power
Incredibly powerful, a deadly one, but without any tracking abilities, Power is a straight to the point kind of weapon, lethal shot. A very useful friend, a very deadly foe. I have to be careful if I ever encounter this one … along with the rest.
Fire
An average missile with an average power, the fire weapon doesn't track as well as the Homing, but it's slightly stronger, and it's not as powerful as the Power, but it strikes an excellent balance in between. A good weapon for I doesn't need to reconsider twice before shooting it.
Gas Can
As silly it sounds this one isn't silly in the fight for it's as deadly as power, a superb weapon that can be shot out in front of the car or dropped behind. What's so threatening about the Gas Can is its pure scary power, and the horrible collateral damage it causes. A group harassing weapon with simple use: Throw a Gas Can into a crowded foes and everybody takes it up the rump. To use this weapon most effectively according to my apple friend, deploy it and then when it's directly over the enemy's head press the same button I used to fire it and the Gas Can comes zooming down directly over the enemy's head. Like power, I need to watch this homing missile if I ever stumble on it… yet another deadly weapon to put my priority into.
Rico
Short for ricochet. Rico is a required skill-based weapon, rather than a basic one because in order for it to achieve maximum damage it must bounce off at least one wall to work correctly. Rico does a good amount of damage as a straightforward weapon - it shoots straight forward with no tracking abilities too. But it works much better as a rebound weapon. The more times it rebounds before hitting an opponent, the more damage it does. Pretty useful for some Deus ex-machine moment or something.
Special
This one as it says, 'special,' For each vehicle has a very powerful unique weapon that it's different from other foes based on the driver's taste. For an instance, Road kill shoots a single, or when used correctly, multiple missile launches… the same as homing but with fewer numbers due to the condition it is in plus the extra damage, it also can be recharged so I can choose on whether take a fast way or getting it or wait.
Reticle
The most and one of the strongest weapons that I ever saw and heard by Hay seed, the Reticule works by performing two relatively simple tasks. First, find an opponent –duh-, and then keep him or her in the Reticule sights for as long as possible, locking on to him. At the same time, press down the button and hold it. Keep holding it until I see the green outline start changing colors. When it switches from green to yellow to red it's time to let go. The longer I hold the button down the more powerful the Reticule attack. Same as the machine gun I can see how many missiles will be fired in the light next to the button, and for reason for if I hold it too long, I will lose both the weapon and my life altogether.
SAT
A barrage of missiles springs forth from the skies with this barrage attack. With SAT, a target appears in front of your vehicle. It's green and stays the same distance from your car at all times. The same as a reticle, place the target on an enemy and then wait for more carnage. The longer the missiles are in the sky the more powerful they become. Each passing second they are in the air, the target turns color, from green to yellow to red delivering an extensive damage.
AND FINALLY
Zoomy
With Zoomy, you will have 10 missiles and can be fired at any enemy. The trick with Zoomy is that they don't track enemies. They fire straight ahead, and enemies will try to avoid them with all of their skills. So, find an enemy that's traveling in a relatively straight pattern and let him have it… simple
After long days of learning and random shots at an abandoned area which was assured by my mechanic that it's fine, seeing how I needed all the training if I ever get a chance to win, from the depth of my guts I knew I had none.
But all that trip of regrets and sadness had to be halted… for the time being, for I arrived at Ponyvile
Hay seed did tell me how horrible the place is now, using his southern way, but I didn't expect it to be this destroyed.
Although some of the houses were amazingly still standing… barely, along with one giant clock building half destroyed and welcome those who were curious and crazy enough to look around, and others destroyed ones to pieces with signs of tires marks, oil splatters, and car pieces everywhere.
As I entered the field a blue bubble shield formed behind me, shutting us from the outside world while making sure that no one will think of dropping out of the contest.
The moment the shield has completely closed a voice of Discord could be heard above through Speakerphone, opening the window and look to the source, I saw the source of my rage giving his usual smile while sitting on some weird flying adorable creatures.
Discord announced that the match will start in five minutes and hope that everyone should go to their designated area giving to them through the map, the moment he finished this statement a sound of 'beeb' and a white dot appeared on the map with signs of where each weapon will respawn.
Taking my sweet time browse the place, location of weapons, and the enemies I saw prepare for the fight.
I only managed to see two cars: one with long sharp objects covered all side, 'A' for creativity and a four wheeled bike drove by a gray earth pony with red hair, assuming his hair color thanks to his tail since his head was covered with a biker helmet and wore biker's vest who use a four wheeled bike… at least I know I am not the only fucked in this fight.
Parked at the location I was given which was near some apple farm which had the same fate as the town, with two minutes remaining for the madness to start. I looked around town, think of a way to survive this madness, anxiety kicked in and increased higher and higher and ask myself if I can pull the trigger when the match starts.
The wait filled me more and more fear, trying to ignore it I decided to ask my only friend of crime of any tips that I could use, the only things he told me was that the clock tower stores the 'special' weapon in there, along with Heal station which heals you fully. It's a trap with a luring bait, A very good way to die, while at the same time it's good way to finish those who think of going in.
As good tip it was I only had 30 seconds remaining till the madness starts, as the clocks start to ticks louder and louder I heard a whisper, a familiar whisper… came from the ham radio. I didn't need to take a wild guess to know who was speak to me, but the words are what started my adrenaline.
Good luck, you will need it
The timer reached zero, two sounds came after it.
The sounds of weapons loaded into my gun: Machine gun, three Fire, and one special, and the sound madness in the center of the town.
As everyone started shooting one another without any sign of hesitating, I kept looking down between my legs, breathing heavily.
I knew it was gonna happen, but no matter how prepared, and well trained I was, I couldn’t press buttons… even though it was a fucking ponies. All I could do is move my tail left and right try to snap out of it with this weird way to comfort myself.
The sounds were blurry from how nervous I was, I could barely hear hay seed's sound of urgent, I guess he wanted me to move.
I took a small peek around, try my best to build the courage to move… anywhere away from this.
I saw cars ram and shoot one another, the sharp objects car I saw previously rammed the four wheeled bike pony who, by the looks of his bike's condition he was screwed, I wanted to close my eyes, but I kept watching the scene as it took a weird slow motion moment, the story Hay seed's told me on how Rarity died came back to me, the biker pony who got impaled on every part of his or her body suddenly transformed suddenly into Rarity, the way she always looked back in the damn show minus her guts spread all over the sharp pipes like some disgusting decoration with her lifeless eyes as the blood drips on the dirt, a weird small whistle start to echo through my ear, as I look closer and closer to Rarity's mouth where I saw sign of moment, getting closer and closer I tried to read her lips movement ignoring the blood splatter coming from it…getting closer and closer I noticed the color of her lips were going brown, I looked back to her face… only to see mine, and this time I heard who stood in front of me was saying, for he looks back to my face and said:
WAKE UP
Came back from insanity trip I witnessed that I was awoken by both Hay seed's loud voice demanding to move, and a power missile coming my way which was shot by some school bus. Following my fear instinct, I pressed the first button my hoof reached, shooting the three fire missiles in fear while hit the Handbrake going anywhere but here.
Both rockets of the bus driver and mine rammed toward each other, making a huge black smoke screen blinding my view on where to go, I couldn’t see where the other two rockets of mine landed but I knew that the bus driver was in front of me and I had to turn now unless I wanted to turn into pony pasta.
Since I pressed the handbrake too hard and I was in fear mode, I took a hard left turn from the area I assume the driver was heading, the sound of the engine get louder with the smell of gasoline enter my nostril filled made my eyes open wide like drinking two black coffee in the morning.
Entering the smoke a huge wind passed on my right with the bus driver remove the smoke with his speed he made from the turbo he released, Road kill rotated on the left due on how I took small bump from him which was enough to make me risen a little bit, and with the small bump on the dirt which was enough to send me high enough to look at the face of the bus driver.
Who I assumed to be fat sweaty man turns out to be a light green mare, purple eyes, and a dreadlocks red, with a little weird mix of orange colored hair… who was waving peacefully at me?
And was she… was she driving without wearing a seatbelt?
As much I wanted to go back to conform myself back then I couldn’t do that for my car went barrel roll all the way to some huge tree, shake my head a lot, resulting in huge desire to release my breakfast, opening the door leaving the engine open, I went outside my car releasing my pain all out.
After horrible pain to my stomach, I looked back to the place I rolled in, only to see two other cars which I wasn't in good condition to see their details after the stunt I made. Running back to the car I drove rotate to the forest and hope to lose them there, looking back the rear mirror I witnessed that both cars stopped chasing after me and went back to killing each other.
I guessed the risk of ramming a tree for them was not worth the chase so they decided to finish each other off.
I didn't really care for the reason why they retreated, all I cared now is some time to collect myself together…eat and drink something
Hidden somewhere deep in the forest, blending the car with tree branches and turn the engine off, I spent inside the car eating as many hay burger –still annoyed isn't meat- as I can while drinking lots of water bottles, then take a huge breath.
Although I barely did anything in the battle, I was scared shitless to go outside the forest to fight those ponies, I needed time, I wanted to calm down.
Bending the driver seat to lie down, close my eyes to think of way to win this, the only good news I had within myself is that one pony died –not by me but still good news- and possibly more lowering the competition, but if it does happens the lone survivor will go after me, gun loaded, and fully healed, what if it was more the one and they both decided to work together to finish me as some sort camper?
To shorten this pity story I was in, I was making endless theories of my death, one of them is joining with that impaled pony, but the thought was cut by a weird sound which came from the forest. Standing up straight, closing the window, lock the door, and turn the engine I looked around, prepare to hit engine, sane part of me –small percentage but still there- tried to calm me assuring me it could be a silly rabbit.
Still looking left and right I didn't spot any sign of any car, I calmed down.
Realizing that the ham radio was shut off when I turned off the engine, turn it on I was welcomed with a fear scream of hay seed, who went full Southern on me, I had a hard time understanding what he said which really made me happy hear someone friendly.
After he calmed down I assured him that I was fine, telling him what happened, and hiding away from their rockets. After I explained to him what I did, I asked him what happened in the town?
Apparently, my little break wasn't as little as I made it be, for I missed a lot.
Three ponies died in the fight, the clock tower building still standing somehow, and if I don't get a kill I will be disqualified…. What?
Yup, turns out, Discord won't give me a break even if I tried to take one. In order to win this fight and not consider as a loser, I need to finish one pony… fuuuuuuuuuuuun
Checking the car condition, which was 70%, threw the leftovers through the window with the napkin I wiped my mouth with and prepared myself. I need to move, make a kill… and try not to puke my break meal too.
Before I moved on I heard the same noise yet again, this time I prepared my weapon… Although I have kind of hesitated for this kill idea.
Hay seed time of question was perfect for my paranoia got me back there, he wanted to know where I hid.
I told him I went to the forest.
He went silent on me for a couple of seconds, for a moment I thought the ham radio jammed on me, I got my ear closer to see if there's a static –cause I am smart boy- and welcomed with the soothing of voice of my scared friend who said "Get the hay outa here" except it was ear deafening and sent me back to the chair with horrible pain.
I hit the handbrake but the car didn't move anywhere, the car hold by some evil black vines who came out of nowhere, crushing my car slowly.
Shooting machine gun, Hay seed though it is perfect timing to explain to me that this forest is both cursed and alive and it doesn't appreciate any uninvited guests, He informed me to get out… no shit?
My long break of calm down wasted by evil vines, all I could do inside the car was looking for my choices of weapon:
The machine gun was useless toward the vines for no matter how many bullets I shot the vines shrugged it off
I used all of my fire rockets back on the farm, and I as much I wanted to use special I got paranoid that it won't work since I thought it seeks after heat itself.
The more I thought of a way out the more the forest chews on a chunk of my car's health, and by the looks of the car's condition and how I see some spikes managed to penetrate the armor, I had no time.
Looking and looking I knew that my options of weapons were limited –I only had a machine gun for god's sake- none of the spells were gonna help me minus the shield which gave me small extra time.
25% remained till Road Kill is done, and just like one of those cliché moments in movies an answer was given to me at the last moment.
I hit The turbot.
It started with a small push as I hold dearly for both the button and the wheel, hope that it works, and by the sound the forest made from how strong the turbo was, it seems it worked.
The vines hold to my car was loosened enough for me to fly freely, and I mean it when I say 'fly' for I flew away to the away from the eldritch horror.
My entire pony body had a hard time on how fast I went with this light car, the focus was required on how very narrow the road is, and the chance of losing conscious was high didn't help –yet another training I have to after this if I make it.-
Looking back to the rear mirror I saw that the forest wasn't keen on the idea of me leaving it alone, If ramming a tree at the speed of light wasn't enough to kill me, then a spiky vine entering my flesh and tearing me a part will.
Somehow, with fear and desire to live, I witnessed a beautiful light in front of me which led me to the exit, it would've been an awesome moment if it weren't for the fact that the light was too strong that I had to close my eyes on how strong it was. I turned the wheel left and right for some scared reason making me do, yet another, barrel rolls toward the town.
I knew that I was in the forest cause I saw the bus lady waving back at me yet again, and unlike before I didn't puke my guts out, but instead, I went to a little nap.
Another retreat, another nothing major I did there.
I have no idea how long I slept from this horrible experience, but one thing I knew was the following:
My car's engine was on fire, but it didn't explode for some reason.
I rammed a house and destroyed it, some of the building's pricks managed to slip inside the car.
And there was lots of red liquid on my clothes, some of it not mine, looking at the wind shield I saw a corpse of a mare, did I do this? What is she doing on a battlefield?
Holding my breath, I used my leg to poke the mare to fall away from the car, for both her stench –which was the smell that woke me up to begin with- and the fact I wasn't in a good state to puke again.
Dizzy and with no clue what happened I pushed the concrete from my door and climbed my way up to the top to see what happened. A bad move I know, but when you get rammed too hard to build, see dead mare, and have blood on your forehead, your brain would go numb.
Reaching the top I witnessed I missed a lot of things, for the entire everything is a mess.
Last time I checked from my pal Hay seed, a three ponies died as I was in the forest, but what I saw was more than that.
The two cars who chased me back then, along with an unknown car were ripped to pieces, ripped by the vines of the Everfree forest.
By the looks of the scene, the forest had the ability to leave its comfort zone and kill anyone near it.
Scan the area I saw one of the survivors, a three wheeled blue car driving its way out of the grasps of the forest and the crazy bus who kept chasing the poor driver down. The forest tries to grab the bus but the both the size and it's armor makes sure it won't have a chance.
As much I wanted to see the fight, I had to use this detraction to my advantage, I crawled my way down to my destroyed car, checking in its condition.
90% CRITICAL
Not sure how lucky I was back then, but by god I was thankful for this beautiful feat.
I took one more peek on the fight, whoever was riding that three wheeled car he looks like he had a history of being harassed or something, I had to use his skill to my advantage.
Move the car to safety, slowly but surely I pressed the handbrake as light as I can and hope no one hears the engine noise it makes…. Or see the smoke of the fire.
I had to go to the clock tower, an opportunity only comes once in a lifetime, and seeing the state of both me and Road Kill, we needed to take it.
As I moved with extreme caution, I noticed that the radio was jammed thanks to some brick fall on it. Fixing the radio wasn't that efficient for all I did is rotate waves hope for a small spark to hear Hay seed's voice.
Nothing, I had to move on without him, and seeing how I was in the town center I knew I am getting closer to the goal, I checked both the mirror and the radar for any signs.
At this point, I assume you spotted the hint that something bad will happen, and you would be right.
For the moment my car climbed its way to the safe zone, the three wheeled car flew its way down the town center, crashing upside down. The distraction reached its limit and I had to book it.
Hitting the handbrake as far my hoof can reach I went straight to the healing station with a yellow dot following behind me, and the fact fire missiles were flying randomly for both bury and hope to hit me with the sound of a machine gun.
That smiling mare was after my ass.
Although the building was too narrow for the fire missiles to enter, the machine guns were small and were damaging me in a horrible way.
I saw the healing station, and it looked too weird to be called one. It looked like something from Frankenstein's operating table with its electricity sparkles around the blank.
Screw it.
Hitting the last turbo I had in, for the last moment for the last bullets shot toward me to almost reach its target.
The healing machine, the magical machine which amazingly not only turned my car back in time back in the garage but also fully healed me, all the blood I had on me was gone along with a headache.
It wasn't over, driving the shiny scrap of a car, I drove my way out of the building with the use of my special weapon to shoot as many as I can on the building, and seeing how many Special I had from not using it one bit. I had enough.
First shot: the place crumbles.
Second shot: I saw movement on the walls.
Third shot: Breaking the last leg I got out of the building with style, drifting around to watch the bus driver mare fall on her own trap seeing how many fire rockets she wasted on the place.
Before I lose my view to her as the building's exit became too small and too tough for her to exit I saw her looks at me… waving at me with a sad smile.
And she was gone.
…..Anyway
Turning on the radio, Hay seed, welcomed me with a shocked voice who didn't know what to say besides: "How did I do it?"
That was the ultimate question indeed.
I saw ponies die in front of me in a horrible way, I almost got squashed by an evil vine, and most of all I accidentally killed an innocent mare who I still have no clue why was she there?
I guess after that shock of the healing station, My head got clean from the pain, I remembered that I joined this madness.
I remembered that I need to win if I want to go back home.
I need to bear this madness, I have to win, that's what I told myself.
Stopping the motivating talk I Spoke confusingly when I remembered: what happened to the Everfree forest angry vines?
My radar didn't sense any signs of the vines or anything around town, Hay seed informed me that Discord decided that the 'environment' damage lasted longer than it should so he got rid of it.
I had the feeling he made it 'longer than it should' for me specifically.
But none of it matters for I won this darn match.
Taking a deep breath I waited for the income announcement
AND THE WINNER IS: COUCH POTATO
Still hated that name.
The bubble shield went away as the announcement and the voices of the crowd booing at me were over, it didn't really matter to me.
I won
And I really need to both upgrade Road Kill and take shower
Author's Note
I don't really think I need to put tag of her since she only showed once
Twisted Metal: The easy road
Chapter 3: Finding Navigator gunner
I won the fight, yet I didn't feel that accomplished.
How can I be fully happy when my victory was complete luck?
I was happy I survived sure, I was glad I made another day to get closer to my goal as well, but how can I survive the next fight if I will keep driving like this?
I had to strengthen my guts and the will to fight if I ever want to see my family again and ignore the horrible thing I saw.
But this training had to be delayed for I needed a break from this madness I went through.
I was back at the abandoned motel, the only place I felt home, for the whole city didn't share the same way!
Oh, what am I talking about? Well as it turns out, driver's performance affects the city's fame and view to the entire world who they truly are or somethin. Because of my cowards act the whole ponies kept insulting me in being a wuss and asking me if my daddy is home. It was annoying in the whole level, and I wasn't in the mode to counter them back.
I had to park Road Kill back in the garage, hidden in fear that someone would dare to steal it and claims it as theirs. Hay seed promised me that the moment Discord announces the next contest the car will be fully ready for the fight with a small upgrade.
All I could do at the moment is hide in the room, the one where my journey began, all I could do at was cleaning and get rid of all the rat and roaches, cause if I wanted a place to plan my way to victory then I need a perfect place to set.
I had a free week to relax, a whole free week of preparation before Discord announce my next fight.
Each three days is scheduled for each seven cars to fight each other, my fight was oddly first, and by 'oddly' I mean suspicious.
What about my schedule? Well, the first day is meant as a recovery, the rest of my recovery didn't take another day I will search for navigator shooter for Road Kill.
When I started driving my first car with my dad, the first thing he told me along with mom and my uncles was: "always put your eye to the road" what they forgot to add besides "to avoid accidents" is "and to avoid bullets and missiles."
The previous fight was a mess, the only weapons I could reach and use was the fire missiles and the special weapon, all cause of the stress, madness, and since I didn't bother to grab any other ones.
So back to the motel.
I was lying on the couch Discord used, wait for the order I asked Mrs. Pancake meal to bring. Among this madness comes a nice person –or rather pony- who comes to calm my day down, she was the only one as far as I know in this forsaken city who didn't care about this damn game or what I did. At first, I thought she was planning to poison me, but after looking at the markets… let's just say she was the only one I trusted ever since then.
So everything was set, the base was clean, the food was stacked on the table for me to finish, and the radio was open to hearing the news while waiting for hay seed news on finding a navigator for me… yeah, the benefit of being an apple family and an EX-CEO of a respectful company is that you have loads of connection willing to help ya. Of course, he had to hide the identity of the driver he is trying to help on hope no one knows it’s me and increase the difficulty of search even more.
Waiting was never my thing unless I was in surviving moments, and the fact I was lying on the couch with French fries in my mouth was not one of these moments. I was tempted on leaving the room and see if this motel has anything interesting worth to see, but before I did something caught my attention on the radio.
Giving music of all genres, telling the weather, and most importantly it tells me the news of the fight, and review some contestants who are willing to do so.
Due to the fact I am living in an abandoned motel with no electricity, water in the place for me to offer a TV for me to see a thing for more details, and leaving the window opened didn't the weather much due to how crowded the place was so horrible smell passed inside the place. Getting a radio and some 'magical batteries' wasn't an easy feat on the ponies treated me, but I had to bear it in order to keep on what's going on outside Manehatten.
Back to the radio.
Before I left outside the room, a name caught my interest which was announced by The commentator named DJ P0N3.
At first, it was her explaining how intense the fight is along with her friend Octavia –who wasn't fond of this violent but the payment was too good to let by- your typical fight with vehicles who is ridden by some ponies I am not familiar with, till the name of 'Fluttershy' mentioned. DJ P0N3 kept mentioning how she was one of the winners of this game and is considered to be the deadliest fighters ever.
My worst case scenario which I forgot a little came back to me, of the main five to be participants to this day, if one of them was there then the rest is there too.
That was bad, really bad.
Another reason to rush my search for Navigator was added along with me not able to focus and road without getting welcomed by a missile.
Opening the door with haste, and prepared for research and beg for an insane pony to join to be navigator with me… a low chance but not backing out anytime soon.
Since I gave away Road Kill to Hay seed for an upgrade, I had to browse the city bare hoofed –I got the term right this time- which meant a longer hour search around the city with furious ponies planning to harass me and more, but this won't stop me. I will find a navigator.
I didn't find a navigator.
This whole day was spent with either decline to the offer, or something get thrown at me, some of it is me get thrown outside the place I went in.
With epic fail comes a defeated return to the bed, AKA the couch since I had none.
After climbing up to the 4th level to my room, I was welcomed by a paper under my door.
Reading it on my couch I noticed that someone wishes my presence, and hopes that the next time they arrive they would see me here instead of an opened door to and see the place filled with leftovers… and they gave me a p.s. to install a lock.
Ignoring the sassiness, I looked at the time this pony will arrive, and according to the clock of the city –something apparently every city and town needs- they will come back within one hour.
Well, this time I was forced to stay in here and wait, with the radio on the table I turned it on in hope for any news about the main six, yeah I was too late and the only thing I managed to catch is that Fluttershy won the fight with ease or something… I really hoped she is the only one participating this damn fight.
More music, some review on the incoming fight will occur on the next three days location –the names are not given for surprise factor, the participants are informed on the day of battle and location five days before it starts,- and finally a…. review with Fluttershy.
I guess this hour won't be as boring as I expected it to be.
The review began with the introduction of the mare of the hour.
Fluttershy, one of the member of the main six, an animal caretaker, and a contestant who want to end Discord's horrible reign.
The first question given to her was about her experience in this game, and how did she do well without getting scared, an important one if I may add seeing how she didn't join the first time this game began.
Fluttershy –with very low voice which required me to increase the volume- explained how she isn't fond of what she is doing, she explained that she isn't pleased on taking the life of ponies who simply want to fulfill the wish of their life, she explained that how beautiful or how dire the wish is, none of it will matter. What she was trying to say is that Discord is a trickster chaotic god who doesn't play the rules as straight as everyone thinks.
This statement was important that I wanted to hear, but sadly DJ P0N3 decided to move on.
The second question was: "what does she think of the new year participants?"
In this one, Fluttershy answered the question thinking that they are very tough competitors who she wishes if they could quit the fight. To her, this fight between one another to her is unnecessary since the enemy everyone needs to put the focus on is Discord. If no one will listen, Fluttershy will have no choice but to put everyone into rest.... this part was too off for me.
And like one of those annoying horror movies, DJ P0N3 decided the third question be: "what do you think of the winner of the last match, Potato couch?"
A sound of movement could be heard, Fluttershy must be thinking about fitting word of 'wimp.'
Few seconds she answered it with: "The same answer as before, which focuses mostly on him seeing how he performed, he reminds me of myself on my first time I compete. He won't go far if he thinks he will win the next match on his own. Umm, it's not that I want him to continue, but I can see he is jumpy around every small movement around him… Potato couch, if you hear this review, please give up. This is for the greater good, and I don't want to harm anyone who doesn't want to be in this fight."
Like an open book, she read my emotions without any slip-up, she summed my problem way better than I did. I had Hay seed, but his friendship is from a far, I needed someone to sit next to me in the vehicle and assist me through thick and thin.
And the final Question of the day was: "How come you and your friends are not allowed to fight each other?"
As if the horror of getting talked to by some hotshot wasn't enough, there is the fact that her other friends are there as well.
Flutter didn't slip any small detail and gave it in the most simple way: "It's a small deal Discord agreed to give in exchange that we join this game."
And it was over, the review was done, so was my hope of winning, three allied cars against me and whoever pass their way, each drove by an element along with a gunner friend.
"If this hour doesn't pass and then a knocking comes up to this door then I swear to god-"
Ask and you shall receive, for the moment I thought about it out loud, a knock was given from the door.
The guest was here, and unlike before, I put a lock. Not 'installed,' 'put,' for I didn't feel like going outside so instead I put the kitchen's fridge at the door.
Moving the fridge wasn't that hard, I guess being an earth pony had a slight advantage in the end.
Moving the fridge back to the kitchen, threw the garbage out the window for all I care and opened the door.
Who stood in front of me is a Purple mare, green eyes, pale purple with pink streak hair, and her mark is three smiling flowers.
Part of me hoped her face would share the same expression as her mark, but by the looks of how long I made her wait, she wasn't pleased one bit.
Welcomed her to my humble home of mine, which I bet she already saw before without my knowing. I started off with asking anything she wants… not like I had anything, but I tried to redeem myself a little. She declined, thinking that it would be to discuss the business.
Taking a deep breath I started the business with the introduction of my fake pony self, claiming I am unlucky resident who simply wants to wish something about himself that won't harm anyone, just in case I am dealing with someone who doesn't cooperate with baddies or simply didn't want competition for selfish gain… yeah, I was desperate for an assistant.
The very judging mare of my dorm name is Cheerilee, a teacher mare who used to teach in school house from a place known as ponyville… this got more awkward than I thought would get.
Cheerilee assured me that she doesn't hold any grudge toward what I did back there, she is fully know that the whole blame falls on Discord… Part of me thought she kinda did hold a grudge but decided to not say it.
The second thing was a wonder on our wish. My wish was to come back home, something confused my guest, which made me not to go any deeper. Her wish is the contest don't take any innocents life, children life included, a noble wish.
Part of me was suspicions about this whole deal, her visiting my home without my knowing mind you, Wishing to join my team –I am happy and all but still- and her wish is so selfless… it was too clean for me to believe that was the whole deal.
Being the curious kid I always was I decided to ask now rather than later about the reason why now, and why me?
Cheerilee explained that she isn't fanning about this contest when the game started for the first time, ponies got scared and ran away to the hills. Everyone put their faith on the princesses and the elements who lived in ponyville with her. Her along with the children she escorted them all to safety which was Manehatten seeing how Discord not to touch this place for some unknown reason. Long story short some children from different places weren't as lucky as the one she escorted and the princesses along the main six failed to save them or stop this madness for some days to prepare themselves. Many ponies died for the sake of this forsaken wish, many foals and Colts lose their loved one's cause of it. She got sick frustrated of how every time she do a role call the child she calls is either absent forever or cries endlessly and wishes not to come tomorrow.
She didn't know anything about the game rules and how to navigate and use guns, but she was willing to learn if it means a chance for children to live with some hope.
As for why me… None of the companies accepted her for the fact she didn't have any history of the game or something, the other competitors were already full and didn't accept it her for not being well practiced, and they weren't willing to waste time on her.
As she was browsing around the city to prepare her dinner, she saw the ' magical displayer' –in which I asked her to call it TV, which she was okay with it a little- where she witnessed my little battle of mine, although the ponies who were booing at me for being a coward, Cheerilee saw me as survivor and someone who didn't want to do this, yet somehow I kept going. The way I kept going motivated her to move her search more than ever, and her search will start with me, seeing how DJ P0N3 kept going on and on how weird I was driving without a navigator gunner.
Well Being desperate I was, I accepted her wish to join, but I explained to her I had to talk with my manager –Hay seed- and I will come to the place she lives and announce if she is welcome or not.
Giving me the location, thanking me for the hospitality and reconsider. Cheerilee left the building with a small hopeful smile.
On the next day, I visited Hay seed and announced him about the school mare who wanted to join us in the hopeless team.
Hay seed apparently knew Cheerilee, a very kind mare who he keeps passing by her school when he goes buying some gears pieces.
Hay seed didn't like the fact that a very kind teacher would join a fight of life or death, a fight that would either kill her or damage her greatly. –happy that he cared about my health-
Trying my way to convince him, seeing I didn't want this search to take any longer, I reminded Hay seed that her joining us not only is the safest bet for her seeing how insane the ones we dealt in the first fight –and by 'We' I meant 'I'- but also will also add one more kind wish that would help the pony kind once we win. –if we win, thought my depressed self-
Hayseed didn't like this, but after deep thinking and me telling him she doesn’t know anything about navigating which may result on her do something that will kill her or something, accepted it.
So there I was heading my way, to the school she was teaching to inform her the good news.
Two days had passed and I already got my navigator shooter.
Five days of training.
BETTER PREPARE MY TRAINING FACE
Author's Note
At first, I was: Let's make an OC
but then: Nah too much work
So I tried taking some side character that no one care much or used... same deal
Soooooo we ended up with her
View Online
Twisted Metal: The easy road
Chapter 4: Finding reason to fight part (1/2)
Two days of training outside Manehattan where no one would see us.
Three days of journey to the next battle: Apple Loosa… I think there is a hidden message in that place's name that I need to put my eyes on, but I let it slide since I had to explain to Cheerilee everything she needs to know about Road Kill and how to keep us alive from any crazy fanatics who want to tear us to shreds.
Bumpy road with spilled soda on the counter and an angry mare nagging me the road was annoying as heck… yeah, I had to say that but moving on.
Hayseed started to fill us about Apple Loosa, the town of apple pies, friendly smiles and lots of apple trees… and also where he was born and raised before he moved to Manehatten and started his new life.
Like Ponyville –and any place twisted metal takes place- that place where used to be smile and apples is now buildings destroyed to many pieces and the smell of burned tires could be smelled from miles away, but unlike it the town of Apple Loosa is an open with no place to hide which is no wonder seeing how the place located in desert, unless you consider to hide in an orchard of apple trees which you can only get grant to go within if your vehicle is either as narrow as a bike to pass through it or bulky as a monster truck to crush through it -which is a useless move since you will leave a huge lead to your location-.
So as far as I understood from his explanation, Road Kill would've been destroyed if it weren't for the upgrade he installed within the car.
Speaking of upgrade, Road Kill got a small features thanks to my 'peak performance' from my previous match, Hay Seed collected the rewards, split some for me to buy something the TW card can't access and brought every piece he can maintain to make the car less shaky and more firm toward the incoming challenges.
When a contestant wins a fight and survive another day they get two rewards, your typical cash reward and the loot from the defeated… also known as dead contestants destroyed cars.
Yes, I was riding Road Kill with pieces from the ponies who died from my previous battle… one of whom I killed which made me feel uncomfortable.
Cheerilee, being a good student she was –Which is silly and ironic to me- learned all the things needed to be the decent navigator gunner she needs to be, mostly thanks to Hay seed's instructions –I helped- she claimed to be ready, but deep within I knew she won't be the moment the fight starts.
The long road of awkward silence and interesting sceneries gave me and my new companion the chance to plan ourselves for the incoming battles.
Thanks to my cowardice act –thank you for reminding us once again miss Cheerilee- it was assured the contestants will try to take us down first to secure an assured victory and either go into hiding or continue hunting down the unfortunate, so the plan was to find a crowded endless rain of bullets and rockets battlefield, it was risky but she thinks with us in the middle of the madness the chances of the enemies having the time to be very aware who is easy enough to target are lower…as long everyone has a vehicle as rusty as ours.
The second is the benefit and the things need to be aware of the place, Hayseed took his sweet moments to think of few but the only things he thinks of is there is undamaged building –Surprised- and it contains lots of apple pies.
I had thoughts on why an apple pie storage wasn't damaged, and I may pass by to confirm it.
As for the downside there was one as well but it was deadlier than an apple pie, thanks to Discord little desire to "Spice things up" he thought it would be nice enough a race of enraged buffalos a small base filled with all form of arsenals prepared to destroy any trespassers who cross in their sight, their HQ lies between Apple Loosa and a place known as Dodge city who are lucky not to see the bloodshed thanks to how high the fort the buffalos have.
Based on their location to ours we were heading toward their fort, Thankfully Hayseed assured me they will attack us once the fight starts so we are safe for now… How convenient.
Unlike ponies of Apple Loosa who left the place in hurry, the Buffalos took the whole destroying land thing with salt and rage and decide to destroy every car they see, discord could've finished them off with a motion of his claw –or paw- but he saw potential in them and decided to trick them, disguised as a soldier of princess Celestia he gave them arsenals and fooled them into thinking they are doing service to the pony and buffalo kind… little did they know they were servicing Discord the mischievous.
What's stopping them from attacking us the moment they see us? A few days later since the whole arsenal deal, Discord showed up another day as himself and threaten them not to do anything rash and wait till the massacre starts.
Looking back at the cars I dealt with I felt there is no way they can stand against a moving target armed with all form of rockets and bombs meanwhile they are sitting ducks so I called on Hayseed that they could be dead from previous year match… and Hayseed decided to give the full painful version.
It's true that the buffalos can't stand a chance regardless how prepared they are, which is why Discord added two things to make things fair for them and make my stomach have a hard time finishing the French fries I try to eat while ignoring Cheerilee's glare.
Once again every battlefield Discord sets for us have a risky yet rewarding location, Ponyville have the unstable clock tower which contains the healing station waiting for the lucky ones who reach it, but the risk is once the clock falls you are done with no point of return regardless of your car defense... and the buffalos are the risk and the reward lies within the fort of theirs which contains a magical weapon capable of annihilating any enemy from any distance… known as the 'sniper.'
Due to how high the buffalo's location is along with their fort, they basically cover the entire area and see any enemy all around the town, and with the sniper weapon, no enemy will survive.
The sniper: A self-explanatory yet rare weapon which confuses me on how Cheerilee will use it, Hayseed explained it's a team group effort like using a regular rocket, meanwhile in rockets and bombs my job is to aim the car in front or behind the enemy so Cheerilee can press the button and release the pain, the sniper is different, in this one the gunner is the one who aims and try to find the most damaging area as possible (the driver's head) meanwhile the driver wait for the command to press the button located next to the wheel easy to see and press… the longer the wait the easier and deadlier the gunner can find the soft spot.
That was the first curse, the curse of giving the contestants a reason to attack the buffalos who both got fooled and want to defend their loved home.
The second one is that the Buffalos do die from this, but two scenarios happen: If the Buffalos survived or some of them Discord appears as the soldier and once again give them a sense of hope to avenge the dead…. If all of them get killed by some bloodthirsty contestant, the all generous one revive them from the dead and give them the blessing of forgetting what happened that day, and no one is allowed to tell or mentioned it to them unless they want to be disqualified or join them with whole defending the fort.
It was horrible, and I knew it wasn't the end of Discord's list of madness.
So my second battlefield was an open field with a very narrow orchard we can't enter and an armed fort ready to reward whoever crazy and emotionless enough to enter and obtain an instant win weapon.
Joy
We were close enough to our destination but Cheerilee insisted me to end the day in Dodge city seeing how we arrived early thanks to my 'Splendid driving skill' which I am glad she liked… yes, I am aware it was sarcasm.
Dodge city, another landmarked by Discord to be a safe area from his blood shed contest of his. Meanwhile, Manehatten was a city of any kind of opportunities and is the place for car companies to welcome it's desired customers, Dodge city is the place for contestants to both relax and prepare themselves mentally if they arrived early enough, which once again… we did one day before the fight begins.
I drove slowly around the city looking around, a desert city with folks wearing an old west attire to blend in with their old-fashioned environment of theirs, one thing ruined it is the four-armed cars parked next to a small hotel.
The ponies of dodge city, although their city is meant to welcome tourists with all form of cozy service… the ponies didn't show the same beauty.
Every turn I took, every building I went in I took a glimpse of multiple emotions, some were hostile, others were scared and more.
I very much understood why they were this angry, but they could've kept it within themselves till they are inside their home where they can release their emotions somewhere I won't feel bad, but then again they were doing this whole façade a long time that their mask of fake smiles got more and more smelly that they want to smell fresh air… I hope they do it when I leave this place.
One more building for me to browse around before I come back to Cheerilee and see whether we will sleep under a ceiling and four walls or the car with her sleeping behind taking the best seat.
'Sewing kit and family cloth shop' was the lucky last building, I admit I was about to groan but the clothes I witnessed in the display glass made me shut my mouth and hope they have what I seek.
They had safety clothes for crazy drivers –they wrote 'for crazy drivers under it- the thing I wished for ever since my eyes lied on that add in Manehatten, although it wasn’t as appealing or promising as the add it still looks like it a lot of time is perfect.
The shop was as small as a retail store used to be next to my home, it only showed one set of clothes for each corner, Pajama, western, poor, and finally, the twisted metal and bones clothe.
The owner of the shop, a grumpy short old stallion with sewing kit mark, light blue fur and black hair with few white streak showing his age if the long beard reaching the floor wasn't an enough proof, who thought waiting for me to finish drooling on the display won't end anytime soon screamed at me and asked me if I will buy or not.
After discussing the price, color and measure the clothes I am wearing he informed me my size makes it easier to finish it tomorrow –Which I was flattered-
Before I left the place the doorbell rang show a little blue filly with a needle attached with gold string mark crying with red eyes, she ran to the old man who lost his grumpiness suddenly.
She was the old man's granddaughter and she was harassed by one of the contestants of the fight, telling her how she should tell the old man to lower the price of his finest set of clothes unless she wants bad things to happen to him along with everyone she holds dear… it was terrible.
The old man, Sewing kit –Yes, this is his name in case the shop mislead you like I did- assured her nothing will happen to this shop, not with the contract he signed protecting everyone he holds dear.
Being the curious guy I was –and still am- I decided to ask the filly with the most gentle way I can master "who were the ponies who said that?"
Sewing kit went back to his grumpy mode and told me to 'go away or else I will sew you to your monster wagon of yours, you drivers love so much' but I ignored him and shown the most peaceful look I can master to little filly.
She wasn't comfortable at first but after few seconds she decided to let the pain off her chest and tell us.
"They were Three mean ponies 'Mistah', they wore weird dead pony bandanas and had weird saw hair like, it is like they decided to go to mister hammer head's carpenter shop instead of a regular barber shop, one of them is a unicorn while the other two are earth ponies."
This gave me small chuckle to her innocence and I assured her these mean ponies won't dare to harm any of your family for the match starting tomorrow, and I knew these kinds of cocky folks are destined to… 'go back home and try to be better ponies.'
The little filly was confused at first but after few second of me comforting her she thanked me and informed her granddad she is going back to work.
I may be a pony hater, but hating small children? Now, this is childish.
Good news
Cheerilee found room for us to sleep in.
Bad news
It had one bed so I had to use my motel couch sleeping experience and let her sleep in a very comfy bed.
But before I end my day I took a small peek at both the competitor's cars and the buffalo's fort.
Cars with all form of shapes, big and small, with its breathtaking colors –Sarcasm.-
Among these intimidating cars lies one that raises my suspicion on who bullied the poor filly.
Pickup truck colored black, with a painting of pony skull facing front and flaming bones insides, barbed wires and spikes attached all around it to give warning to anyone thinking of ramming them, and what sold me the most is a grenade launcher in the box with a padlock attached for any thievery attempt.
Mark the car in my mind I put my focus on the Buffalo fort who didn't give enough justice to its name for I see the title 'the castle of the buffalos' is more fitting.
Due it's a night I only saw how big the risk is, it was pretty obvious only destroying the place is the only way win, that's all I could see.
Cheerilee and I spent the last minute's exchange our discovery before we hit the hay.
After I explained mine, Cheerilee started to lay the things she thought was worth mentioning.
When we split our path and headed to the hotel she encountered few of the contestants, only five she met and thankfully none of them were as aggressive as the masked skull ones, but still secretive to their plan and not in mood to say hi to the ones they will fight against, but to her luck she met a mare she used to know who isn't part of the contest, her name is Drepy hooves, a friendly Pegasus mare who used to live in ponyvile –How many ponies lived in that place?- she works as a mail mare who delivers mail and shipments of all kind no matter where you live as long it's not dangerous, the price gets high based on how big and how far the place you live away from Clouds Dale.
Finish delivering mails for the people of Dodge city, Derpy had some time for some old chat with her old friend, they spent in talking about their life, how things working out and why they are here and all that.
It was no surprise to me that mailing mare friend of her wasn't happy when she discovered one of her friends from old home was part of this nut job game, and for the sake of lighting the mood for me she told her shocked friend who she was driving with… lots of gasps came from both Derpy and the staff members who were doing their job before they heard the name of the infamous Couch Potato… I see I made a name for myself.
Apparently, my cowardice act not only turned me into the most hated pony in Manehatten but also in the whole horsy world… what am I am talking about? When I won the last match, Discord was supposed to mention my car name for the sake of anonymity since there are ponies who… play unfair, and guess what? He mentioned my name.
Another reason why I need to install defenses to my department when I win this… if I win this.
Shrug Cheerilee off and remind her that we have a rough day I slammed my face on the couch and tried to think of every food I can think of, for I knew I won't sleep with the sound of death wheezing on my head.
Tomorrow will be a beautiful day
Author's Note
I am sorry for the long wait, but you know how life works, attacks you the moment you let your guard down
View Online
Twisted Metal: The easy road
Chapter 4: Finding reason to fight part (2/2)
Rooster Cock-A-Doodle-Do
Sun rose to shine to the unfortunate souls
And Cheerilee was screaming at my eardrums, some were mean word and some about how late we are.
Wake up from the bed, eating breakfast and being the last who start up the car engine right after I took the safety clothes from Mister Sewing kit, we headed to Apple Loosa.
I suppose I have to admit these 'safety clothes' were meant for bikers, but like my mom always say 'safe better than sorry' for knee and elbow pads and a black biker jacket with bottom black brown biker boots and gloves and to end it off with dark blue bike helmet was the perfect way to protect me if the seatbelt failed me and sent away to the harsh boiling heat sands… yeah, my sense of fashion and common sense isn't the best.
We drove to Apple Loosa and got a closer look at the Buffalo fort and this time we saw the arsenal they carried.
Gatling guns covering each side, and Flamethrower aiming below if you go down thinking it's blind spot.
The Buffalos were hard to see but I managed to see one wearing an American Indian chief's hat who was looking down at us with a death glare.
Reaching the town passing through the bubble shield and sightsee the entire place to memorize every angle we can put to our advantage.
The remaining three cars we didn't see in Dodge city arrived before us with more decoration for me to admire.
This time, Discord didn't show up to announce the rules or welcome us to my relief, but the rest of setup was still the same for the map updated our designated area.
We parked at south-west of the town, we had limited view to left side cause of the apple orchard, but we still could see the train track, a destroyed building and an RV car facing us the other side.. of all the ones we stumble it had to be tank armored every corner than the pickup truck which I marked it for caution.
The clock ticked slowly, Cheerilee checked every device and recheck if she memorized everything, I looked at my wheel, breathing heavily.
So did I move on to the whole 'killing' thing? Did I secure a kill and hidden among the bushes? Was the training successful?
45% you could say yes.
My driving skill improved a lot since last time, I learned moves which qualify me to enter Nascar, Cheerilee was a very good student –sorry, I can't help it… it's just the irony is too much for me- managed to bring the weapon we needed for every situation we encounter along the fight, but among all the success lied the ultimate problem… we still didn't have the guts to kill.
Sure we shot, rammed, and destroyed buildings, but still not capable of taking life.
We were getting pursued by some red wagon turned to a car, it may look ridiculous but the driver packed a punch with him using his navigator body as a 'Special' moving rocket running towards us.
I managed to dodge the attack while Cheerilee used 'Zoomy' trying to take down every chunk of health she can throw to either to scare the enemy off or kill them… before her morale get to her.
The former occurred and the red wagon retreated inside the pie building which I discovered in my drive through around the town, it contains a health pack capable of healing a decent amount of health.
We hid under a wreckage of a destroyed caboose destroyed from a previous battle, or some unfortunate accident.
The match took long ten minutes, two fighters are out of the fray, the Buffalo fort still standing with the rockets and bombs thrown at it from three opponents teaming up for a while, I guess they got sick from the barrage of bullets thrown at them minimizing their chance of survival.
We spent in the hidden arguing on how we didn't kill anyone –something I didn't expect to say in my lifetime excluding video game- and it didn't help the noise of the wagon rusty wheels could be heard somewhere for me to detect, that driver was stubborn to leave us be.
Continue on the chase, I drove around the buildings to both restock as many rockets I could take and demand Cheerilee to do it without thinking, whatever happens, will be on both our hooves, so no regrets here –I am not good with speech-
Same as before, the wagon retreated but headed toward the Buffalo fort in hope he may find the fort opened to the heal station –at least that’s what I thought since I had no idea why he was planning there- but none of it matters cause Cheerilee released 'Gas can' above the unfortunate driver, the gas can fly with incredible speed that we both knew the wagon had no chance to outspeed it, and with the way the driver drove, it was guaranteed we had the perfect shot.
The gas can reach the target, I screamed to do it, she did….
We secured a kill.
The wood wagon filled with weapons had no chance, splinters flew everywhere, the splash of flame was stronger than I expected for I witnessed the metal of the machine gun of the left side melt like a chocolate under the heat of the sun.
And it didn't feel us satisfied for the screams of the driver and navigator were loud and horrible as they got out of their wagon with their flesh get eaten by the flame, they rolled and screamed to end the pain… and the navigator, the Special runner earth pony stallion looked at is, he had the most injuries than the driver who only got fire.
The earth pony: orange fur and hair, spiky hair, and light blue eyes, I couldn’t see his mark due to how the flame ate his flank for me to see.
He had scars from his reckless action of acting as a weapon, a small piece of wood impaled one of his legs, and what he said to me made my blood run cold.
"Kill me, please"
I looked at Cheerilee who looked back at me with the same reaction.
"What did he just say?"
The stallion screamed at us to do it, to end the pain… he begged.
Cheerilee looked at me on what to do… I drove away from him.
He called me a coward, and he was right.
I did what I just did to survive, and me stomping a defeated enemy was out of strength to do so.
But before I could explain to Cheerilee why I did it, she screamed at me to watch out, pointing in front of me where I should watch, looking in front I saw I was gonna get rammed by the RV.
I almost dodge it, but the giant family car managed to ram me in the back, giving us a bad amount of damage but wasn't fatal.
The car wasn't in a good state for another fight, I had to run away from the RV and head to the pie shop in a hope the health magic respawn, and with how slow that car is, we had a chance.
It still managed to give us a departing gift of 'Rectile' rocker and a homing missile, we got hit by the homing missiles, we were close to meeting the same fate as the wagon.
The moment The rectile shot away to us and Cheerilee cried put her hooves on her head, I hit the shield spell at the last seconds.
We slipped into the pie shop and rammed the wall in which contained the healing spell in the corner, we survived a close call.
We took a deep breath, but it didn't last for the RV crushed the ceiling with it shooting the machine gun at us.
So much for the only none destroyed building.
I took a 90 degree rotate I drove toward the RV shooting back at it with me shaking Cheerilee to snap out of it.
I managed to pass by the RV with me leaving a mine as a gift of mine for I knew it will take a while for it to reverse back.
Doing another rotate I started shooting with everything I had with me pressing the button since the sassy teacher is out taking a smoke break, and unlike the wagon driver, I made sure not to shoot behind the RV to shoot back with rockets.
Fire missiles
Homing missiles
Special
ALL OF THEM… and that freaking RV still standing and managed to get out of the building.
Hitting the turbo for fast escape I went around the building in hope to lose it, still trying to shake Cheerilee off from her position.
Unfortunately, the escape failed for the RV surprised us with something I didn't expect an RV would do, it came to us with crazy speed, whoever owned that RV installed lots of power in that one… we got rammed.
We flew into a building and lots of bricks fell on us… De Ja Vu, but unlike it, I didn't lose conscious.
Cheerilee was sleeping, I had a hard time seeing around me, the car was stuck and it may take a while to get out, and the sound of the horn could be heard in my right side.
The RV wanted us to pay attention to what will happen to us next, the window of the driver scrolled open with the driver squeezing out to show his face to me.
Very fat stallion, puke green with white hair, bald father haircut, and light green eyes.
The fat stallion looked at me with amusement.
"Hey, you! Ain'tcha that coward pony who spent the entire match running away and cheat his way from Ponyville? What was the name again… oh yeah!! Couch potato was it?
I tried to start the engine on and drive away… the engine was with Cheerilee in a smoke break.
"Well son, your action caused your city a bad lash from other communities, companies from different regions refuse to work with it, cities and towns make fun of your land where you born and raise… you know what makes me peeved more than my cousin broken screw, boy?"
I rotated the key, I kicked the car…nothing happened.
"It is a coward playing a grown up game and gives his city a bad name!!"
The fat stallion hit the handbrake, hitting the horn, he drove with rage toward us.
I closed my eyes in vain… it was over.
…
…
…
…
A thunder roared through the town
I was dead… I decided to open my eyes to see the afterlife
I was in some box with two chairs one of them I sat, next to me sat a sleeping purple mare….wait a second
I wasn't dead.
I looked at the RV which rammed in front of us, moving some of the wreckage giving us more space.
Open the door and look at the RV I saw the fat stallion dead body hanging in the window, his fat body made certain not to fall off the car, his head was gone.
Shocked I looked around the town to see who did it… I didn't spot any car around the place.
It was pretty obvious, someone obtained the sniper rifle.
The sound of bullet barrage of the Gatling guns was gone, I still hear the sound of car drifting around left and right with the rifle voice roared every ten seconds.
Communicating with Hayseed while shoving pies to my mouth I asked him how come the RV navigator didn't take the driver's place? The car wasn't destroyed yet and he could continue… and how many left.
Hayseed explained that if either the car and/or driver went down then they are considered eliminated from the match, as for how many left… three were left.. make it two.
Cheerilee was awake eating pie, the car was in 80% and if I don't go to the fort and kick whoever is up there before the distractor dies we will be sit duck.
The plan was simple and the not killing part may still exist within us but unlike before the motivation are high.
Whoever up there killed the Buffalos, whoever up there killed everyone with ease, whoever up there will kill us if I don't act.
Heal magic spawned, Roadkill was fully healed, We drove to the fort with haste.
Due to the paranoia of getting caught we avoided any magical weapons require simple or sharp turns which results in getting caught, it wasn't long till we reached what it used to be a fort.
The fort was in complete rubble, two cars near the entrance could be seen destroyed too many pieces with their drivers within sharing the same fate, we had no time to feel bad, we were the 3rd last team alive in this place and whoever is outside distracting the sniper won't last as long as the three-wheeled driver from ponyville.
The place was filled with dead Buffalos, shot, crushed, burned, and run over by who I assumed is on top of the hill, we drove slowly near Indian American huts, it wasn't as big as Road Kill but still blend into something is better than being in the open.
Within the Fort lies a huge temple which gives whoever climbs to it a full access to both Apple Loosa and Dodge city, we got close to the temple but Cheerileee demanded me to stop the car.
She saw movement among the wreckage of one of the huts, but unlike the one we are driving in between this one was bigger than the others slightly with bricks added among it, the reason I knew that due to how big the destruction left from it… It looked like a boss battle occurred in that place for the big hut located near the center of the fort protecting the temple.
Stopping the car and gathering some hay and blend it with other huts I asked if she saw an enemy, she didn't replay to my question for she left Road Kill heading for the big hut running like her life depends on it, turning the engine off I chased her while hissing her name to stop, the longer we messed around the shorter our chance of survivor.
The big hut was in flames, and it was pretty obvious it will crumble down completely very soon crushing whoever unfortunate or stupid enough to be below it, and seeing where Cheerilee and I were heading… it was the latter.
Cheerilee began digging on the opposite side of the temple which is good enough to avoid the sniper sight, demanding, even more, the hard working mare -asked me nicely- to dig along with her, with no clue why and not wish to be in the fall finale I dug along with her with no question, soon I spotted a big brown hide after removing the last brick… We founded a big injured unconscious Buffalo… it was the Buffalo chief who glared at me in the beginning of the fight.
I knew I was gonna have pain in the back carrying him away from harm.
Thankfully whoever architecture this giant hut knew this would happen so they made sure to stand as long as possible, for we reached Road Kill and hid within one of the huts and it still didn't fall… till I mentioned it to Cheerilee the moment we entered the hut… jinx?!
The Buffalo was in bad condition and I admit I felt bad for him, but my feelings of remorse went away when Cheerilee asked me to bring the emergency first aid kit in the car… which is meant if one of us is badly injured and avoid getting the other one dying… call me selfish and heartless but my life was in the line, I refused and tried to tell her it's useless but she glared at me telling me "how he will die if we don’t save him."
I explained to her that saving this Buffalo is useless since his fate is the same as yesterday, it will either continue the cycle or recycle from the very beginning, Hayseed said so and telling him the truth would harm us more than helping… We had to go.
Cheerilee glare softened and looked down at the injured Buffalo with sorrow, it was wrong but nothing can be done, I was about to grab her shoulder in support… something I didn't expect to do, but then all of a sudden she stormed off the hut yet again, but this time toward Road Kill, at first I thought she understood the situation we were in and it was no time to save who can't be saved… buuut she came back with the first aid kit.
Continue on with the couple argue theme –something we seem to master- she shut down the fight with a statement which hit me like a truck.
"I will not leave him here bleed to death, this Buffalo wanted to defend his people and land from harm, he went through a lot giving them the hope they need to live in peace and harmony, look around you what is used to be a home of many buffalos, I want him to know that there are ponies who are living the same surviving life as they are… I know you don't like taking innocent life and reach the goal you strive for… but leave an innocent life like this?... I expected your weakness of confronting a death threat scares you, but leave someone to his doom is something I didn't expect."
…
I heard that fear can blind person's action, I knew the word had lots of truth in it but the amount I gave to it doesn't give enough justice to what I realized in that moment.
I want to win, I want to come back home to my parents who I felt in my guts they were looking around for me, I want someone to defeat Discord right after I get my wish, but as I was going after my dream or winning I forgot the ones around me who called my help.
The RV stallion told me how much I damaged the city of Manehatten from my act, although some of the ponies don't deserve sympathy from their horrible acts to me and how they want me to be aggressive, they were others who helped me and stuck with me although I didn't pay them back for their hospitality.
Hayseed gave me a car and I gave him a promise of vengeance... I had to give him another way of payback.
Mrs. Pancake meal always was there for me whenever I asked for a meal, she didn't care what did I do in the fight as long it's not something horrible which I appreciate.
Cheerilee could have found a better driver… but she went with me.
Another reason on why I need to fight, and for some reason was as motivating as going back home.
I had to repay what those nice ponies did to me… even though I don't like the show of theirs.
"You have a pure heart, purple one."
The Buffalo managed to wake up from his slumber, with bandages strapped everywhere in his injured body, all thanks to the teacher with experience of healing in the wounded seeing how she teach kids.
Taking a moment to sit in a better comfortable position he looked at me and Cheerilee, then he looked back at me.
"I remember you, you are that pony who drive that junk of a monster… excuse my rudeness for I expected you to die first in this horrible fight."
Giving a small chuckle before he winced in pain, the buffalo welcomed the teacher with kind words and stallion who tried to leave him to die with a nice joke… okay.
While Cheerilee checked on him for any wounds she didn't heal, the Buffalo decided to introduce himself to us, his name is thunderhooves, the chief of the Buffalo tribe and the one who was meant to protect his people from this crazy contest, we introduced ourselves as well.
As much I wanted to stay and hear his sad side I asked him if he can move away to safety till this fight is over in which he nods, I explained to him that we did our part but we need to finish this fight so no more innocent life is taken… beside whoever is on top of the temple.
Pulling Cheerilee gently to the car we were gonna go back fighting, but thunderhooves grabbed my leg… he asked me a favor… I still remember what he asked us to this day.
"Please, I know what I am about to ask is much but… please take my daughter with you once this battle is over."
It was a shock how another soul put his trust in me, did Discord add some spell on me to be this trustworthy?
I asked him why her… why not the rest, and Cheerilee finished the question with "Does Discord forbid you from leaving?"
Thunderhooves waited a second till the sound of rockets shot from the second driver -who is away from us- fortunately, disappear, and then he answered.
"I know this request is selfish, but I can't help it for us the Buffalos carry a curse we can't get rid of no matter what … we are very stubborn to our own good, the moment we set our eyes on something we don't leave it till it's sorted… just like the Apple Loosa apple orchard case, I know I can't convince my people to leave, but my daughter is a different case for she has something unique that makes her special… she has knowledge of you the ponies, she is less stubborn and more open-minded than the rest of us buffalos combine, I know she won't trust you so tell her this if she doesn't trust you… 'It's time for the little bird to fly from her nest'… once you tell her this I want you to take her away from this place, anywhere that save her from this bloodshed, and don't tell her I am alive for I want her to leave without persistent… and no Discord has nothing to do of us stuck in this fort, it's stubbornness what makes us stuck in this place forever and as the chief of my tribe it is my duty to carry the heavy responsibility… something I don't want my daughter to live this life... Please take Little Strongheart with you!"
We didn't like this, but he had a point as much we wanted an alternative solution doesn't involve taking a daughter away from her family and loved ones… which we didn't find any.
Giving us her location which was a well-placed cave where the young and the old hide inside, putting this in mind we headed up to the temple with high speed to finish this fight and win.
Little two info's before we go to the fight cutscene:
1- The second contestant died a long time, but we ignored it due to how important thunderhooves request was.
2- We headed into a fight with one homing missile, and a special.
I hit the turbo as hard as my hoof can press, my foot pressed the handbrake as far as possible, Cheerilee locked down with special on whoever was aiming at my car which we can't see clearly due to the sun lower on its level, and I knew they were aiming at us for we saw the laser sight climbing it's way to me.
We are close to each other, both sides shot their attack, the rifle hit the hood making a below average damage, the barrage rockets hit it lot of time and filled it with smoke screen making sure there would be no second shot.
We rammed them and send each other falling from the temple, as we fell I managed to see the ones who are responsible for the Buffalo massacre… it was the pickup truck dudes.
…I think the foreshadowing was pretty obvious
Balance the car to the enemy height and distance, Cheerilee shot a homing missile at it and hit it, we landed a rough land.
We landed in the back of the fort, a very narrow one since the back wasn't meant to deal with contestants falling in this area, but it still had a small gift of 'Power rocket' which we landed… lucky us.
None of the sides made move for some interesting reason, both of us check one another health and surrounding… and calm our hearts from the fall.
We had better health than them, they had more weapons than us, and we both are stuck in a very narrow road, they pulled their special move the same time as we did… but theirs didn't take a long time as ours.
Do you remember the grenade launcher on the box and the unicorn third member purpose? Well turns out one of them shoots missiles and the other shoots grenade launcher like madman… multitask at its finest.
Both sides shot their shot and seeing how their special involve six shots of a grenade launcher and rockets of many kinds they dealt damage to our car faster than we can deal to them.
Our damage had power and we could've finished them if we had a better road so we can dodge them… It was that moment a crazy idea hit me in the head.
I hit the turbo and drove toward them, Cheerilee yet again demanding me to explain what I am doing, I simply told her to release everything we had when I call her, but till then she keeps hitting them with a machine gun.
The pickup truck hit the horn and I could see the driver scream to his pals to finish us off now, I kept my focus on the wheel trying not to sidetrack to the temple and lose my focus.
Their horn got loud
Cheerilee got louder
Everyone screamed "Oooh Pony feathers!!"
I admit I whispered "Oh shit" along with them
It was time!!
Pressing the spells on my wheel I hit them with the freeze spell, stopping them from adding any more damage to my 35% Road Kill, I hit the button I didn't expect to press in my lifetime, I pressed the mini jump…. We were above them, we rammed the unfortunate frozen third member in the torso sending his upper side away with us, before landing I made a none-realistic I will never question 90 degree rotate to the opponent.... which was successful
"NOW!!"
Cheerilee, with no question or knowledge, released everything we stored among them is three 'Power rocket' which I asked her to store.
They didn't stand a chance, they exploded with sparks of ice and fire flying around, they couldn't scream for long for we released too many rockets... an overkill from the adrenaline rush.
….
….
AND THIS WINNER OF THE CONTEST IS TEAM: ROAD KILL
I got out of the car to release my meal yet again while Cheerilee breathed heavily to the points of tears inside.
It was an improvised close call I didn't expect to work… but it did.
Right after we finish collecting ourselves we agreed to fulfill thunderhooves wish… as we agreed the moment we left him in the hut.
I would've felt accomplished if it weren't for the fact there is a grey Pegasus filming us in camera… That was Cheerilee's friend, Derpy Hooves, and she just showed the entire world in the state I am in right now.
I knew I shouldn't have eaten that double cheese hay burger large sized
Author's Note
Fun fact: Both part one and two were meant to be together
Now back to my slumber
Twisted Metal: The easy road
Chapter 5: Finding the right place to go
Back when I was little kid, I made a code where I would avoid every humiliating event as possible, when you are in school your name would change into a nickname which gets stuck till you go to college or change school… Imagine my reaction when I got caught spilling the pies all over the ground right after the fight where I finished it in an epic way.
After I washed off my face off and cleaned my mouth for Cheerilee's sake we drove to the hidden cave chief Thunderhooves asked us to go to for the sake of fulfilling a 'dead buffalo's wish.'
We drove slowly while hearing the radio, mostly due to how tired we were we didn't have the power to say anything but look at the road, DJ PON3 kept laughing at the change of event and how surprised she was when she realized I won the fight, Her friend of chat enthusiastic miss Octavia kept replying to her with 'aha' and 'of course' she sounds like a party animal in parties… and as I feared the news reporter lady decided to mention the puking part with every detail to my luck, I could see a hint of chuckle slightly slipping for the miss nappy nap partner of mine which I didn't mind seeing how I needed every light mood as I can when we reach the cave which located in the south of the fort.
Getting sick of the news I was going to shut it down and maybe later change the wave in hope to hear a soothing voice drawing something nice, but my hoof stopped for we took notice we reached our location.
The only thing Thunderhooves didn't tell us about the cave that it's an underground mine like cave, except it's built for the aim of safety of Buffalo kind, I honked the horn in hope someone would reply back, I honked again and again till I opened the window and yelled "We don't mean harm, the fight is over and we need to talk with Buffalo by the name of Strongheart."
I lower the volume of the radio and waited, Cheerilee asked if it's okay if I stay in the car while she talks with her explaining her father's wish, seeing how I am 'not in a perfect charismatic state to speak' aka I smell bad and my eyes are bloodshot as hell… I agreed since I don't like to be the one to break the news of her father's demise.
The night stroke and we still didn't get any buffalo to show their brown hide of theirs, and if I didn't mention this before I will say it here: Patience wasn't my strongest unless I was in life or death situation… which I wasn't, so I honked the hell out horn and activated the car's light since part of me knew there was some of them are hidden near the cave entrance, Cheerilee couldn’t stop me since she wasn't in state to fight a very tired humiliated stallion who waited what if felt like a 4 hours, she simply looked forward and prepare to extinguish a very raging buffalos demand to stop the noise.
Turn on the car's lights, I confirmed my suspicion on them hiding among the rocks, it was four Buffalos each blending in with a rock while adding some grass on their heads, I stopped the horn and screamed again "We are tired and hungry, you either show us the buffalo lady or we will leave with her father's last wish!"
It worked and the ones in hiding raised from their hiding place, exit the cave each two of them stood between the entrance where the daughter of the chief came out of her hiding along with elders and youngers buffalos walk slowly behind her with fear.
When Thunderhooves called her "little Strongheart," I thought he was being all father cuddling, but as it turns out the nickname was literal for she was the size of a pony, unlike her grown-up brothers and sisters.
She looked like a deer than a buffalo, yellow hair tied with a feathered headband wrapped around it but I could see an eye of a fighter.
Nudge Cheerilee to fulfill her part she gets out of the car and trotted slowly to the brave little buffalo, and while she did that I raised the radio a little and hoped DJ PON3 would say something interesting instead of making fun of me, in which she kinda did… she asked if it was okay to review me in her podcast along with her all smile and cheer miss Octavia which I need to state she is my favorite.
Before she explained the benefit and what is awaiting me in Canterlot I closed the radio and looked at how well the representative of the pony kind miss Cheerilee doing with the Buffalos peace treaty, it was dark… and by that I mean I can't see anything for the windows and windshield got darker and darker… did I press something Hayseed added in Roadkill?
I checked left and right, there was nothing new added, I tried to open the window and door, both of them are locked… I was stuck.
I tried to barge open the door, someone tapped on my shoulder and passed me a crowbar, glad to be not the only one suffering in this pro- WAIT WHAT?
I looked who passed it to me, and it's no other but the annoying little shit, Discord.
Sitting on Cheerilee's chair and bend it as bed he lied down asking me "what up" to which I replied back with an attempt to commit murder on him and get on with it… only for the crowbar to explode like a balloon.
Snap his paw with his annoying smug face of his he strapped me with safety belts wrap all around me, forbid me from doing anything but swearing and demand to return me back home, in which he replied it with "Nope, and I am here for an offer."
I tried to scream for the buffalos to save me, anything for the sake of not seeing this monster not until he announces he will return me back home, something I knew it won't happen.
"It's no use, we are strapped in a safe private room of mine where no one will hear us, which it happen to be like Roadkill… by the way, you need to change the name of this car, it sounds like someone desperate to get killed or something, once you are done screaming please stay silent for a while so I can give you the offer which may save you."
Help me? Help me! That animal accident took me away from my home and sit next to me like some old roommate offer me a deal or something, as tempting it is to release loads of insults which will result to get grounded for an entire year if my dad hears it I think I need to hear his deal… not that I have anything else to do besides watching him playing castle card on his chest, I decided to listen.
"I see the two matches changed your behavior, for a moment I thought you will insult me too hard that your daddy would ground you for an entire year if he hears you-"
Does he read minds?
"-So here is the thing, You are reaching the expert's area, they will be more powerful than the RV and smarter than you if you didn't stay silent to hear the deal… so my deal is: If you go to this DJ PON3's podcast and answered every answer she gives to you… and yes you are allowed to lie as long it involves your 'real life you' questions if you go to Canterlot and do it your reward will be a fun 'map' where you the chance of your survival is higher compared to you not fulfilling the deal." He finished explaining the deal with him showing a projection on my chance of survival with crayon drawings of what I assume is me smiling happily up in the top, while there is drawing of dead me lying on a puddle of blood in the bottom of the projection.
So my choices are either I go to someplace known as Canterlot and humiliate myself even more in the interview… or refuse and go to some battle in which Discord will make sure it will be as hard as he can imagine… it was pretty obvious I was desperate.
I stated I will accept the offer if he answers some of the questions, it was a long shot but I wanted to know- he accepted and told to hurry up with it while juggling a bunch of hamsters around… I won't question him.
My first question is: why he wants me to get interview, he answered me with "I want everyone to know you even more, if you will make a name of yourself may as well go in there and dance showing them the real you." snap his finger yet again making me wear a ballet dancer clothes, I didn't care… and moved on.
Few nags on remove the damn attire –I couldn’t move on- I moved on to the second question: "Will I encounter the main six? And is there a way to move on without taking their life?" My goal is to come back home, killing what I assume 'the heroes of the story' was a simple guilt trip on my way home… I knew the chance of winning is slim by each fight but I need to be optimistic, Discord kept playing his goat beard of his for a while, then shook his head "As much I hate to see one of my two favorite contestants die when… or rather 'if' they encounter each other I am afraid that these are the rules… unless they die before you meet them, cheat, or give up, dealing with the main six is guaranteed if both sides kept going." As expected and feared, but still the 'give up' part caught my attention… I had a stupid plan and I may execute it when the time comes.
My final question –Discord got tired of the wait and demand my answer to this last question- was this: "I know that you are aware of us taking a Buffalo with us… are you gonna stop us?" There were other questions I could ask which could help me in the future, but the safety of that little one hit my skull yet again –yet another theme in which will be pain to my head- Discord gave an innocent smile which I knew lies a demonic laugh "I will neither harm this little one nor punish the buffalos from this little smuggle attempt… only if you accept." …That mother-
…
Gave my sigh of defeat I agreed to Discord's deal: Doing an interview with DJ PON3 in exchange of giving me an easy road to drive through and keep his dirty paw –or claw- away from Strongheart and her family… at least not making their life any more miserable.
We shacked our ha- hoof, and paw while we looked at one another, with me giving him a gaze of 'you better stick to your promise' and he replies with a smug smile of 'Stick to your promise I will stick to mine,' and just like that he snapped his claw… and disappeared with a giggle echoing through the car… and the darkened windows feature turned off.
I lied off and stared at the ceiling, thinking what to do before heading to Canterlot… but before my schedule of the week get written the doors of the car got opened, with Cheerilee sit on the shotgun seat with a sincere comfort smile in which made me look back only to see the one open in the back none other but Strongheart… and by the looks of it introduce myself to her had to be delayed till they are far enough for a small speech.
So we drove under the light of the moon
It my took a while but we managed to get her full name which was 'little Strongheart' -Little is actually is part of her name…so when she grows up she will be called big Strongheart or something?- The start wasn't that nice for she went through the five stages of grief and loss:
Stage one: she didn't believe it back in the cave when Cheerilee announced her father's death and tried best not press any nerve in her.
Stage two: then along the way she started to blame us for everything we did and how she should finish us right here right now in which Cheerilee comfort her and explained to her how we managed to save her father long enough to hear his wish
Stage Three: She asked us if we could go back to AppleLoosa explaining to us how she knew a buffalo capable of healing all sort of wounds and he may save her father… in which Cheerilee explained to her once again resulting in her to reach the fourth stage and spent the entire journey with a complete silence.
Before we entered the city, we covered our smuggled depressed buffalo fried with wrappers and pies –and she said my mess won't help us- we drove our way to my motel where it is safe to hide Little Strongheart till we find a decent place she can live in peace till this contest finishes.
Unlike my previous match the way the ponies treated me was different from before, they went from 'We don't accept your kind around here' to 'Eh, you are cool to our book for now' for no one attacked or threw any rotten tomatoes at us, and I could see hint of proud in one of the taxi drivers as he passed by us.
Parked the car in front of the motel I contacted Hayseed to the car's location and the need of him to hook Roadkill with his tow truck of his and put some touches with it while we settle our guest in my welcoming dusty warm home of mine.
Open a room next to mine –with force which I think it's a benefit of being a normal horse- and wear a clean gear I dust the room from any form of germs and pests while Cheerilee hosts our gust on my couch, the room Little Strongheart shared the same details as mine, the only complaint I had the room had a bed unlike mine.
In the next day I woke up earlier than I usually do for the rare occasion, wash my face off with a water bottle -due to how I have no clue how to explain a plumber to fix an entire motel for two rooms- I walked outside my room, take peek on how my neighbor doing I saw that Cheerilee decided to buy herself a bed sheet and tuck in with Little Strongheart whom I could see she spent the entire night in tears for I could see the tears river it's way to the pillow.
Leaving them be I got outside of the motel where I saw that Hayseed took RoadKill to his garage which gave me an excuse for a leg day, my next destination:
Barbershop: When you live an entire week in a horse world fighting them off with rockets and bullets it would be no surprise your head ignores your hygiene state, thanks to the TW card, all doors of fixing myself was open with no financial problems, remove my 'you are hobo- itchy beard and moustache and turned my shaggy hair into spikey cool style.
Spa: A location I didn't expect for me to ever go, but when you have a card allowing you to many places and one of them a five stars bath… an abuse of this card will occur, my spikey may get slightly ruined but a small sacrifice had to be done for the sake of a better smell.
Fancy clothes: I didn't like it, but if I was gonna go to a place where I will mark my name to the entire world and clean the vomit I made, I had to be as fancy as fancy pants himself, wear a fancy black suit and blue tie, I was ready… till I remembered Hayseed will take two days or three to finish with RoadKill… and I wanted knew the road is very long for me to wait a couple days, the free I get the more training I will get.
I bought myself a ticket to Canterlot and waste some of my reward bits, that and I felt a weird sensation when Cheerilee discover where I am going she may question me endlessly and I am not in a mood to explain to her that Satan visited me and I had a deal with him… and Hayseed was too busy for me to announce for him, that and I highly doubt will be whiny as my partner.
I felt uncomfortable as I walked in the caboose, many gazes roamed around me and I knew it wasn't curiosity who will travel with them.
The room I was given to was two comfy seats facing one another, a small window of your heart and hours of fun with whoever will set with me.
As the train moved away from Manehatten I felt odd about how left a Manehatten using another transport instead of Roadkill, the feel was… comforting and weird at the same time, I felt at peace, no gun attached to me, no buttons to blow anything… just me and a train filled with ponies I don't know or care about.
As I admire the beauty of the mountains, the voice of door slide opened could be heard behind me, my roommate took his sweet time to arrive in the room we already got close to Canterlot, He gave me an apology for the late arrival for he spent the entire journey talking with an old friend who stumbled to him along the way to the room.
The moment I saw my late roommate I knew that Discord must put some spell on me cause it always attracted people to me, for he is Fancypants the CEO of Fancypants for your wild fancy wishes carCompany, and the way he looked at me I wasn't the only one familiar with him, both of us kept staring at each other not certain what to say.. at least I am the one not certain cause his shocked state went away and replaced back to his sunny smile.
Put his suit case below his seat he began the roommates introduction chat by giving away his name and occupation, I did the same but before I finished my name he apologized to me and explained that he is aware who I am and wished to know why I was heading to Canterlot, I replied back and told him I had an interview with a mare by the name of DJ P0N3 and I wish to finish as fast as possible so I can prepare myself for my next match next week, I asked him the same question in which he explained he came to Manehatten to check on his company performance and check if every'pony' was doing their job correctly, he admitted he was meant to visit it next week but he thought to catch the manager of this branch off guard would be a better way to see how they truly act.
He asked me how come I didn't join in which a explained I did but his company kicked me due to how it's my first time join in the contest and lack of driving experience, his cheerful mode went away for a minute then it came back after few serious stares on the floor… Someone is gonna gets fired, and it was my fault… but this time I felt good due to how they made me walk all the way to them only to be kicked instantly.
The rest of the journey was actually nice, FancyPants was generous enough that he asked the staff to bring the best meal they store in their kitchen, our conversation was a questions on how life, what is my wish if I win, and how disappointed FancyPants is on how the staff of his company kicked a passionate skilled driver aka me since his company was meant to train all form drivers who seek to work under their company name in exchange of experience and lots of benefits, I asked him if this is a code in the company to hire all form of ponies regardless of their skills in which he answered to me that it is but he can't control the ponies working from another city.
"I fully understand they to improve the company skills by hiring the best form of ponies… but due to how dangerous the job is it is pretty obvious that they will wait forever which is why I keep informing them in the company introduction that instead of waiting for an excellent skilled worker they should create on from scratch… something it seems they can't wait for either on how long it takes, how much it costs, and how it doesn’t guarantee to bring the 'final product' they asked for." Did I say happy conversation? I meant to say a business speech between a CEO and a very hungry stallion munching on carrots –desperate to eat anything- and it didn't help he passed his business card at me offering me a chance to work for him.
His offers were simple, he will give me a brand new car with all form new technology his company ever obtained, a training with a pro driver and a room in a five stars hotel in exchange of sponsoring his company… the offer was too good to be true, I asked him if he will jump in the fray and make my life harder, and how he gave a playful smile and a 'maybe' I didn't like it.
We entered Canterlot's train station, FancyPants carried his suitcase and was ready to leave off but before we did so both of us asked something at the same time which we both apologized, FancyPants insisted that I would ask first.
"How many contestants who are sponsoring your contest are still alive?"
FancyPants looked grim when I finished the question.
"Zero, they all died.. the last contestant was an RV driver who we gave him the best form of defense and installed the car with the strongest turbo in the company… defeated by the driver's stupidity and unfortunate luck."
…
RV? The same RV I almost died to? The RV who crushed my soul figuratively and literally? Screw his smile, this guy wanted to join cause I won the fight his best red neck fighter joined in, My happy mood changed and I was going to leave the place but unfortunately, I had to hear his question.
"I wanted to ask you if you are in interested to join us… by the looks of how my honesty went and how I read your facial expression I don't, you will agree, know that there is nothing personal, I am not just running business… I guess my question would be: How far are you willing to go to get the wish?"
How far?... this is a question was as stupid as asking Cheerilee if she is a teacher while teaching in front of a bunch of kids.
"As far as my lungs can carry me, open the radio, for when the interview begins you will understand everything."
"I will look forward to it."
We got out of the train station and took our marry roads, in a place I have weak knowledge about.
Walking under the light of the moon I took notice that Manehatten was more confusing than Canterlot, a city filled with high buildings and streets each lead somewhere vs. city built under a castle, the homes are made by the finest form of materials… the beauty of this place fooled me for a second made me believe that there is no blood massacre outside this place.
Talk to the citizens I asked around the place about its history, any restaurants nearby, and can they tell me where DJ P0N3 podcast works.
From what I gathered: Two princesses used to live in that castle, Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna… the Princesses of The Sun and Moon were the leaders of Equestria and the guardians after the main six if they failed, according to the butler who served me a tasty tea, they fought Discord using all of their spell and magic… they were meant to win but Discord slipped away from their strongest spell result in capture them in a very weak state, nobody knows what did Discord do to them, some think he holds them hostages somewhere in Equestria, and some assume he killed them and harnessed their power and control the sun and moon.
The restaurants were too fancy to my taste, the prices were too high, and the meal doesn't feed a mouse… thankfully there were none fancy ones which had more meal to feed a village.
As for where DJ P0N3 was… she was in the castle, should've figured seeing how the castle was surrounded with Christmas lights surrounding the entire area, neon lights light on entrance labeled "We party all night", and to add the mix up there is news roam around that the driver of RoadKill was coming to Canterlot for the review… they knew I was coming, what they didn't know is that I came by train since they prepared cameras and journals staring at the street which leads to Manehatten.
Walk my way to the entrance I was welcomed by loud noises of the Dub, ponies with weird fashion danced in very odd way, drinks passed all around and with the knowledge of parties I declined politely, the place was crowded and had to push my way to the snacks and refreshment table and ask where is DJ P0N3.
Talking with these ponies was useless… maybe due to the brownie, they hold while lying under table explain how the light is shiny and floating, hold my breath I went back to dancing crowd.
Follow the music's source which got louder and louder for my ears to handle –the flaw of being pony not able to walk with two hooves- a very bright lights of many colors could be soon on the stage where I saw a unicorn whom I knew it was DJ P0N3… mostly being the one doing the whole DJ-ing the party.
White coat, Hair which was strip of light and dark blue, and the mark of some music note –I didn't study music so I had no idea what kind of note it is- she wore purple-colored sunglasses so I couldn’t see the color of her eyes.
Gotta admit, that mare had skills, meanwhile a normal DJ use hands she used both her front and back hoof for more music spiciness.
I managed to Pass through the guard who covered the stage thanks to the drunks who fully charged on him, only for him to hold them all with ease, that guy must've gone through the army to hold this many of drunks.
I climbed my way to the very excited mare who smoked the shit out of the machine to the point I think it will burn, I nudged to her shoulder couple of times… the mare said something which I barely heard due to how the loud the music is but I think she said "not now" which I screamed to her that I came for the interview, she said what and I repeated it once again and she said what for the third time… In one of the cliché awkward moments, I gathered all of my strength in my vocal cords to repeat it once again, the music suddenly stopped and it was too late to stop me.
"SHUT THE GODDAMN MUSIC SO I CAN TELL YOU I AM HERE FOR THE INTERVIEW YA DEAF!!"
Taking a deep breath to collect myself I took an awkward realization to see that everyone was staring at me… along with DJ P0N3.
.
..
…
Her eyes are magenta
Twisted Metal: The easy road
Chapter 6: Finding the right words to say
Don't embarrass yourself I said.
I have to make a good impression and show them I am pro I said.
It was that embarrassing moment I knew one hundred percent that discord cursed me and laughing his ass off, for all of my years I never had this kind of luck... until he took me away.
No matter how many time I blamed him, the mistake was made and my face dug deeper and deeper into my hooves as I waited for my review.
Where was I? I was sitting on a bench beat the shit out of myself in an empty room which had two doors facing one another, the first door I came from leads to a long hallway filled with infinite of doors -it was a castle after all- each led to rooms where some celebrities and hungover ponies who partied too hard, and the other door led to the record room.
If there is something I learned from DJP0N3 reaction is that she was laughing her ass off in the room explaining the fans how I barged in into the party and humiliated myself, at least Octavia -the happy all smiles and my fav- wasn't there in the party for she showed a new dialogue of "how rude" and "you don't say" it was a moment to be proud of who I was.... sarcasm if no one caught it.
If that wasn't painful enough I remembered that I didn't write a message to Cheerilee about my whereabouts... I knew the moment I return back home I will get lectured infinitely from her.
As I waited for the laughs to die down, the hallway door opened and welcomed a very interesting person I didn't expect to see in my lifetime.
It was a griffin, a bald one -was it an eagle?- with signs of someone who went through shit for he carried scars all over his body, he wore what it felt like a mix of cowboy and post-apocalyptic attire, brown dust jacket with a cowboy hat, and to add edgy to his looks his right eye had a huge scar with a faint glow comes from it.
Behind him walked red maned black fur earth horsie who had a mark of a red sun rising, and he was naked... how uncouth.
My humiliation slightly washed off for I had a bad feeling about them, for they looked at me with a grim look and the way that horsie saw me didn't bode well.
Being a naive kid I was I decided the proper way to finish this awkward silence staring contest by saying "Hello, do you have a review like me?" in which the Griffin shook his head in an emotionless way with his pal looking at me up and down... I needed an adult.
The Griffin sat to my left where it led to the hallway, the creepy horse sat to my right where the podcast was.... red alert, RED ALERT!!
I was getting sweaty and motionless from this act, looking left and right hope there is a prank, or they simply waited for their turn or anything, I hoped that DJ would finish her news and call for me.
The Griffin, humoring my silly side decided to introduce himself.
His name is Ethan Eagle -Called it!?- a contestant on the Twisted Metal contest and the driver of a car by the name of "Dreadnaught" and his gunner old pal, Red Dawn who replied back with a friendly grunt.
He explained how he was shocked at how a scary cat such as me would go this far... makes him 'worried' how much he pain will put me when we encounter in the next fight.... next fight?
Well apparently there was another thing passed from the bald eagle's head, he forgot to mention he was paid extra from a stallion by the name of BlueBlood... that Blue balls wanka.
In case anyone forgot -or didn't pay attention- I encountered Blue Balls back before I obtained Road Kill, I had to look in every company under the hope they would allow me in, Blue Balls was one of the ones who refused me in the most disrespectful way which resulted in me say 'mean words' which by the looks of how I sat in between two mercs I knew he didn't forget.
They explained how BlueBlood got pissed on how far I survived, at first he wanted to record my death and watch it everytime he wants to sleep -dark!- and make me an example to anyone who crosses his way, but thanks to me moving up to the important part of the turnoment BlueBlood gave a strict order to every driver works under him to go after me, there was a certen pickup truck who was supposed to snipe my head off but decided to make me last, but failed miserbly -that round was filled with poeple who wanted me dead I see- and because of it BlueBlood set up a bounty on my head... did I mention I was sweaty?
The Griffin explained that the next round will be my last, for the majority of the contestants were sponsored by BlueBlood and he will do anything to make sure you won't make far, his pony friend was giving me silent stare expect me to do something rash... I was expecting it myself too.
I asked him why is he telling me all this? was it a strategy to make me screw up, or to give up?
It was the latter, but his reason is not what I expected to hear.
"Listen, kid, I am many things, but killing a pony who survived purely in luck and a shitty car is a low blow even for me. I don't want you to continue, cause the ones who will fight the next battle will either target the weakest or let the strongest do this to use his ultimates, Give up while you still can, for if you give up not only you will live and fight another day, but also you will avoid BlueBlood's trap."
I had doubts that he indeed wanted me to screw up badly when he finished, for he looked at me as weak. I appreciated how he cared about my safety but my reply will be always the same to anyone who wants me to back up from this contest... I can't for I have no choice.
I couldn't give them my answer to their offer for they woke up and decided to exit themselves, but before they left the Griffin gave me a glance of 'word from the wise."
"You don't need to give me an answer here, do it in the podcast and let everyone in Equestria know what you truly will do and want...pick your words wisely" and just like that, with his friend's growl they were gone, and I was alone... and like the cliche stories DJP0N3 decided to call me now.
It's show time.
I will be honest, I think I did well on the review despite the threats.
DJP0N3 kept asking me questions about my name, my favorite color and such while trying to piss me off, apparently, she wanted the rage me to do the talking instead of the gentleman good old me, at least Miss Octavia liked my speech for I spotted a smirk and a raise of impress brow from her.
I didn't let DJ press my nerve even though she recollects every mistake I made in the previous contests, thankfully I stored a soda can and drink it everytime an annoying question comes up.
"You must've been scared for the last contest you released a load of pies all over the dirt for us to see."
first sip
"It was my second time fighting, the first I was scared endlessly. Nothing wrong with that right?"
"Do you have a relationship with the gunner, a couple maybe?"
Another sip
"No, our relationship is that I am a driver and she is a shooter. Business partner in short."
After many attempts which rare ones managed to pass up, DJP0N3 showed signs of disappointment for she wanted to begins this podcast with a laugh. I agreed to Discord to do the review, but I never agreed to be a joke in this review, let them see me as a boring horse for it may let the contestants who hear my review would turn it off and continue with their life.
Seeing the conclusion of this rodeo between her friend and me, Octavia, an earth pony with dark gray mane and tail, a light gray coat and light purple eyes, -and she rests a purple shade on the microphone assuming she isn't fond of it- decided to ask me a question which risen eyebrow from her partner.
"We will go straight to the point mister Couch Potato, what is your wish if you win and are you aware of the rivels you have risen?"
Straight to the point, she was meant to be the host.
"My wish is to go back home, and yes... I am aware seeing the difficulty I encountered in Apple loosa."
"Going home? could you elaborate?"
"I can't tell you the full story, let's just say 'someone' kidnapped me away from home, he used me in a horrible way and I had to run and hope I could find help, I looked everywhere and no one had the way of home I wanted to get... till the contest came."
"Is your home that far that you had to join the fight?"
"I can't tell you fully, but my home is... special, and only Discord can return it back to me."
"I see... to my next question: Did you hear the review between my friend Vinyl and miss Fluttershy?"
"I am afraid so."
"Then you know what I am about to ask you, what is your reply to her statement on how you should give up and let their attempt at capturing Discord be easier?"
It was now or never.
"Dear miss Fluttershy: I appreciate your concern for my health and safety, but I am afraid to decline your offer for my only way to return back home is through this contest, pretty much I put all of my bits on the table and have two doors, I either win and get my wish or die here and now-"
It was dark and my hosts looked at me with shock and worry, but hopefully, this supports me for my next speech.
"-instead I wish this tip implies to you and your friends, but for a different reason."
This is getting heavy by the second.
"I fully understand you want to save the pony kind, to avenge the princesses, and defeat Discord once and for all... but know that a lot of creatures from all over Equestria joined this contest and want to grant the wish they worked day and night to get it, you coming in putting you in a bad light. Stop here and fight another day, both my partner and I have peaceful intention with no harm will cue, you can threaten me, you can harm me... but no matter what happens I will not yield, you either do everyone in this contest a huge favor or get marked for death from everyone."
I sat heavily on the chair and breathed heavily in pain, the message was sent and the messenger took rest, now I wait for the reply.
"O-okay that was an interesting message, well I guess this is all we can ask for the time review is nearly over do you have anything to say mister CouchPotato before we end the podcast?"
"I just hope the main six listen to my request and ease everyone life."
I wonder if this gentleman act I made is enough to be marked away from few of the contestants.
"Well, that was quite intriguing, I guess this is it for now... I would like to thank everyone for listening and apologize to my partner Vinyl from taking the seat from her but until then we will-"
Before she could end the podcast she got stopped by her friend who interrupted her in an abrupted way, a sign of urgency could be seen on her face.
"Hold it there Octy, it seems there is an announcement from the host of the contest Discord himself."
I was as shocked as everyone in this podcast but for a different reason, I didn't expect him to fulfill his promise this instance.
"The message goes like this: Dear fighters of the great contest Twisted Metal, its quite seems that I overlooked some mistakes in the papers... mostly due there were some hot chocolate stains on it-"
right... whatever
"-and after some discussion with the council we agreed to do the following: Cause of the how one of the matches majority drivers are sponsored by a company by the name of Prince Blueblood's royal palace which could be used as an unfair plan to work together, the council decided to shuffle the names again in the lucky lady wheel and see where each will be sent to."
....Is this what he meant when he said "your life will be hell if I don't do the review?" was he planning to let entire bounty hunters go after my head? that animal accident had me in his strings the whole time.... well no reason to be in a rage for I already fulfilled my deal.
"and a message will be sent to everyone in where they will go next so no need to visit TW headquarters every day to see if the paper is out, so no need for anyone to get scared of missing the day of the announcement... and that is all."
The deal has been sealed and BlueBalls goons won't go after me for now... at least the majority of them I hoped.
After the podcast ended I was thanked by the hosts for my arrival, I headed to the door plan to get myself a ticket to Manehatten and get myself an armor for whatever waiting for me.
Miss Octavia decided to help me to go to the train for the racket I made back in the party she knew there will be paparazzi waiting for me outside and she knew a shortcut to the train station."
Being to her word she took us to the alleyway where the sounds of ponies screaming on who will review me and taxi drivers screaming at them to go elsewhere instead of the damn streets, made me thankful on how I didn't go edgy and decline her offer.
As we trotted under the moon, Octavia apologized to me for her friend Vinyl's rude behavior, for she was doing her job as an entertainer and a host of a famous podcast. She hoped that her friend didn't press any of my nerve in the review.
I accepted the apology for there was no major damage occurred from it, and thought to ask her some questions about how they ended the way they are in.
"Oh! well, I suppose I should tell, hopefully, will help me ignore the stench of this place: Vinyl and I used to live in a village by the name of ponyville, and yes I am aware of its state in which I don't need to be reminded of thank you-"
A sign of disturbance slipped off her noble side, I assume she got accused a lot from her peers to the point of losing patience.
"O-oh! My apology, it just these ponies don't understand what happened back there to understand what we did to save the ponykind, I understand some of them misunderstood thanks to my friend's choice of words and how most of the news involves this damned contest."
"What did you do to save the ponykind?"
"Vinyl and I weren't in ponyvile when Discord released his wrath on the ponies of ponyvile, being a celebrity has its annoying side of moving around a lot and we bearly go back home without the door rings for another demand from our manager. When the news got out Vinyl shut her DJ tools and ran to the nearest train to help the ones who appreciated her music, I tried to stop her which resulted in me jumping on the train without knowing, we headed to our home against my will... and in complete honesty I am glad I did."
"I assume you arrived late?"
"Kinda, the elements couldn't stop Discord, but my friend jumped in to stop him from doing his finish blow, we didn't know how to stop him but tried to help, Vinyl used her music in hope to wake up the mane six and distract Discord while I try to sneak ponies away to the train to go anywhere but here, Vinyl's music was effective somewhat for something clicked in Discord's head.... literally."
We walked passed in an alleyway where was another road led to noble restaurants where I saw Bold Eagle bargaining with the cashier over the price of the meal, thankfully his attention didn't convert to mine making my day less awkward, I could have sworn his partner sensed my existence and was planning to turn to me... thankfully he didn't.
"He stopped the battle with a snap of his finger, he was missing around the entire time with Vinyl and everypony who joined in the fight, he pulled me from the crowd along with her, he congratulated us in the attempt of saving the ponies, he liked the enthusiasm we bought in this battle, our yell of battle cries and promise of safety, how we are quite charismatic... he gave us a deal."
A whistle of the train signed to me that we got close.
"The deal was: He will let the ponies of ponyvile who survived the fight leave at peace... if we promise to work under him as a news reporter podcast entertainer telling the news of everything, including the TW contest without any disrespectful remarks to him... I don't know if you noticed but Vinyl to this day is too still pissed how in that day the mane six didn't defeat Discord, but still... I think the we did the right thing...
"What about those with selfish... or despicable wish?"
"It's a double edge hope... but a hope none the less... and we are here."
and she was right, we arrived the train station, back in Manehatten I asked for a go and return ticket so I already secured my seat, I could have wait till the actual date of train arrives but with the power of this VIP ticket and the TW card, I was already secured a good... That and I didn't want to have another encounter with them mercs so the sooner I leave the better.
I entered the train and took the last glance to Miss Octavia who was waving a goodbye, I waved her back and say this:
"I guess I myself made a decision I am glad I did, doing this review and meet a cheerful person who brightens my day. Tell your friend I am sorry for the cold shoulder, and the puke part pissed me off."
She gave one last smile before she disappeared among the crowd, it almost made me feel like she was a retired assassin of some sort
and just like that, I headed back to Manehatten with a pain lifted off my chest.
...
...
At least until I come back home and get welcomed by my friendly partner of mine.
Author's Note
Although the chapter is short it had some storytelling I guess?
Oh! and Ethan Eagle along with Red Dawn are an OC's of a pal of mine Damien Martino So here ya go old pal
so back to bed now
Twisted Metal: The easy road
Prologue: Finding contestants
I hate my little pony.
That damn girly show that consumed most of the YouTube media, every time I open a certain website or try to watch some art work of some of my favorite shows they are always there to torment me every way as possible … I simply wish it to stop.
Unfortunately, in the real world, one small voice like myself doesn't matter and it will be there to remind me.
And one of the damn examples is that day I went to this world … except it wasn't the same world those bronies wished to go to.
I remember how it all started.
It was late at night when my parents went to visit a relative, I wasn't allowed to go for an incoming test I had for the next two days. They gave me everything: a phone so they check on me, money to call in a pizza or any meal I want and a kiss on the forehead. I really didn't mind and understand why they are worried, but geez I am 19 years old and I know how to drive I could just go anywhere I want … but I don't like to hurt my family especially my mother.
So there I was boring myself to death, read the notebook doing checks and take breaks after ten minutes … till I decided to call for some cheese burger and a large soda.
It didn't take more than half an hour till my door bell rung, I ran to the door like hungry dog sprinting like it's the best thing in its entire life … seeing what I was doing I guess it was.
I opened the door only to realize it wasn't the usual delivery man who delivers my dinner, instead who stood in front of my door wasn't human … literally; The creature had the head of a goat I think, I couldn’t see much details on the rest of his body seeing how it was dark outside and both me and my parents forgot to turn on the light of the outside door but I knew goats don't have paw as some sort of hoof.
Before I could close the door and run for my life, the creature of the darkness grabbed me by the torso with his paw! Yeah, it gets even weirder when he revealed himself to me.
It was him! That fucking animal accident known as Discord from that little girls show, smiling at me innocently as he held me like some doll expecting me to smile back.
I demanded him to put me down as I tried to kick him but each time I tried to do that his arm extended away from my legs reach to hit him. I told him I am not one of those little fanboys I am not interested in going to that world. And yes! I saw that as a dream, a dream I don't want it to show me that rainbow horse world.
Apparently, my guess wasn't the in his flying mind to take me there in learning moral trip … literally! there was flying horse skull flying around his head as he chuckled at my statement.
with his free claw hand, he cut the wind like scissor which it opened multi-colored form of black hole of purple green and pretty many colors matching his looks portal sucking everything around it taking away anything with light weight like the wrappers, the French fries, and tissues on the table other heavy furniture slowly pulled to it .
Kicking harder and harder I screamed telling him 'I don't want any bullshit of love and tolerance shit' but like before the result was the same, he looked at me and threw me into the hole where he told me as I sucked away to the unknown 'there is no school kid, just a little game I wish you to be part of.' Last thing I heard from him in my house before I lost consciousness in that portal.
This is the part where I told myself I would wake up either on the couch with meal wrappers spread around the table, turned on TV and disproved parents, or sleeping peacefully on my bed till the clock ruins it … sadly I was wrong for I woke up on a floor I am not familiar with.
The place I was in was some abandoned small motel room, the reason I say it was abandoned because of the dust and spider webs surrounded that place, there were only three doors. Inspected it I knew the three doors were bathroom, kitchen, and finally the exit from this horrible place. I attempted to open the exit door and run away only to realize I could feel neither my hands nor my foots.
I know some of you assholes bronies know where I was going, Yes! I became a horse.
Delaying my escape a little bit I crawled my way to the bathroom to see if it was true, hoping I was drugged and seeing things, unfortunately once again my hopes dashed away as the moments I climbed my way to the bathroom's mirror.
I was really a horse! a brown looking horse with black hair and white marking on his nose, and what made it more interesting is that I had tattoos on both of my ass cheeks they had the same drawing, which was couch with Burger's wrappers and potato fries on it… I didn't get it.
As I crawled my way out of the bathroom I was welcomed by him… discord.
By the looks of how long I spent crying to my new form, he waited for me for so long that he found a comfy position on the old couch while eating … Chinese food!
Kindly of him he offered me one for free, and enrage of me I refused and demanded to explain the meaning of this, where was I, why me, and what did he mean by a game?
Being the little disfigured dick he is; he kept me wait for him to finish his noodles and it didn't help the fact he made annoying slurps which spread the noodles all over the couch, as I waited for him I decided to look what kind of noodles he was eating, turns out he was eating gummy worm with gummy bears instead of the usual noodles.
After he finished his meals which it took ten minutes it was answers time, except some of the answers he gave weren't the questions I asked.
He introduced himself to me as Discord the god of chaos and destruction and the owner of the most thrilled known loved and hated competition of all time… 'Twisted metal'
He told me I was selected to be part of this as not only the representative of my world but also to test out some new program he made for shit and giggles, apparently he had been watching my kind for so long admiring the destruction my kind made in all these years, he liked how we all lied, cheat and most importantly seek blood and destruction which I find it weird how he mainly focused mostly on action thrilled games seeing how he explained how 'humans love to act as soldiers and kill as many baddies as possible' and how he spent mostly telling this part.
The fact he explained it in full detail crept the shit out of me, I knew he was out of his mind mad hatter style when the fan base announced and explained who he is but I didn't expect him to be this … twisted!
And to make this better he told me that he knew my wish would be, so unlike the other competitors who they need to say their wish, mine is already sitting on destination… which in complete honesty wasn't quite reassuring seeing how I am talking with some freak with the title "God Of Chaos."
I asked him: why me? There are other people who are more qualified in this kind of stuff he could summon some brony who knew to this place far more than I do, sure I knew the main characters, villains and the faces of some backgrounds horses thanks to some of my old annoying brony friend but I didn't know their names or who they were and the same goes for the location and how this horse culture acts… which discord replied to me saying 'that's what makes it even better!
Before I could ask him what he meant he snapped his finger then he disappeared with sparkle and glitter. Took his place was a bunch of papers… I crawled on the couch and read each one of them:
The first was driving license with a mark of 'TW' on the top left with my picture, age, gender, new name, and location.
Apparently Discord doesn't want me to reveal myself as human which I wasn't planning to do so seeing I am not quite keen on the idea to be treated like experiment or something like that, but instead he decided to hide it with fake name which was 'couch potato' which if he thinks I will laugh at this joke he is kinda right, and of course I was from place called 'Manehattan."
Ignoring the horrible pun aside I went to the second one which is the map of 'Equestria' the land of horses and piss.
The third was a map of Manehattan which showed me the layout of this place, at least I knew where to eat and get myself clothes cause I am not planning to walk around naked even if I was a creature with fur all over the damn place with long tail covering the back.
And finally the last paper was introduction of the contest with the rules, the requirement (which was car armed with all sorts of arsenal which will be problem since Discord didn't provide me with any of that along with no knowledge of how to drive car mad-max style while as a fucking horse), and where and when it will start.
So pretty much I have a week to both get myself a car, learn how to walk and drive, and go to the location known as ponyville which I know you damn bronies love so much… I knew in that moment I was screwed up in extreme level.
As I looked at the paper with hopelessness and sadness another poof came, looking up Discord came back grabbing me once again but this time in the face which is where the first experience of pain started.
I didn't know how long it was but it I knew it is one of the worst pain I've ever experienced so far, for when his claw hand CLAWED its way into my head, I felt like someone was forcing spoon up my ear, nose, and eyes.
I screamed in pain and begged him to stop, why was he doing this? I shivered in fear and pain as he looked at me with a bored expression like it's not the first time he raped someone's brain.
As soon his claw got out of my head I fell on the floor like rag doll, breathing heavily, sweating, tears streaming like river, my brain pumped along with my heart beat as fast as a rabbit, my brain reached the limit where it had no choice but to go shut down on me AKA go to sleep till the pain is kinda fully gone… but before I was fully closed my eyes I heard him talk.
"Huh and there I almost forgot, but hey better late than never right?" as he was about to snap his fingers he looked at me and said his farewell which I still remember to this day.
I am discord and I welcome you to the game twisted metal
Author's Note
Well this is a start ... let's see how long it takes to make another chapter and get some idea what I am doing
