Chapters Paul McGann's Horse Friends
1) Dr Who and the invasion of horse privacy
The Doctor sat calmly indulging on proper British 'cupa' and listing to "Eye of the spider" on repeat over his vinyl player. Frobisher a alien, shape-shifting penguin with a cockney accent ( He used to speck like he was in a film noir but after the doctor brutally murdered him believing him to be a drone sent by the Girls and Boys clubs of North Korea. The Doctor realized he was wrong and reset the universe leading to Frobisher replacing Molly on the TARDIS crew and America losing the revolutionary war.) sat up and said...
"Doctor where are we?"
"The time vortex." The Doctor responded.
"But the TARDIS monitor says we in a child's bedroom"
"BLOODY HELL FROBISHER!" Out-cried the Doctor "One, HOW ARE WE HERE! And two HOW THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THE MONITOR THAT SPECIFIC!?"
In his mad rage caused by some sort of disorder and confusion The Doctor hadn't realized Frobisher stepping out the time machine doors.
"FROBISHER! REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME YOU AND I WERE IN A CHILD'S BEDROOM!" The Doctor screamed.
The Doctor slammed open the door of his 'magic' blue box only to find his alien companion staring down a small orange horse with wings.
"F**king hell Frobisher, where in the name of Smosh Games are we now?!"
Frobisher and the foal continued to lock eyes the only movement was the young horse urinating over it's self. Frobisher looked down at the now moist coat of the strangely colored horse and the puddle belief its feet. The young pony started to cry.
"Damn," Frobisher mumbled, staring into the eyes of his gorgeous master who didn't look a day of 35. "Something about eight or nine year old looking foals releasing bodily functions on themselves is turning me on!"
"Christ Frobisher since when did ten year old kids pissing themselves turn you one?!" The Doctor asked puzzled. "I swear one of these planets is gonna remember you as Frobisher the 'pervert penguin'."
"Y'know what I might release a bodily function of my own." Frobisher openly stated.
"You dare fucking piss on me!" The Doctor snapped.
Frobisher shape shifted to grow a massive penis which he soon began to wipe his moist flippers over at 100 miles an hour. The newly sprouted penis extended further and further and began to thicken like a hose that was being steeped on.
"OH ITS CUMING BOYS!" Screamed the sweaty and satisfied penguin.
Frobisher's Cum was think and slimy and began to stick to the walls of the foals bedroom before dripping down the wall like phlegm. The penguin continued to squirt his special sauce over the room and into the eyes of young Pegasus.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Screamed the child blinded by alien seaman.
The Doctor Violently tore off Frobisher's massive cock splashing a mix of cock juice and cock flesh over the already sticky walls.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Screamed Frobisher before regrowing his crouch now without a reproductive organ attached.
The Doctor picked up his Alien ally tossing him into the TARDIS before attempting to calm the child covered in blood and spunk.
"Hi." Greeted The Doctor.
"Wh... Who are you?" The young moist horse quietly questioned.
"Will I... I am The Doctor, I am... A lot of years old, I am a Time Lord from the planet Galifray and I am gonna do a thing!" The Doctor Spoke proud and heroically. "And who may you be my darling?"
"I'm Scootaloo... I'm 10 years old, I'm a Pegasus from the town Ponyvile and I'm gonna probably not gonna achieve all my life goals." Scootaloo replied softly and nervously.
"Well Scootaloo, I'm sorry for what my friend did... But can you help me and tell me where i am." The Doctor asked
"That's fine, we see a lot a bizarre stuff around here and it's no worse than what my dad does to me..." Scootaloo mumbled.
"You greedy Bitch! I don't even have a fucking dad!" The doctor screamed into the ponies face spitting rapidly as he did so.
"Well anyway... What do you mean ;where am I'?" Scootaloo responded calmly dispirit the doctors outburst.
"I have no fucking clue where I am, so just answer my question... Where the fuck am I? The Doctor put it bluntly.
"Well your in Ponyvile, Equestria" Scootaloo responded.
"I'm going to infer I am in a in a village full of colorful horses, in a country full of colorful horses." Scootaloo nodded. "Well f**k me I guess, I ain't staying here. Hopefully i'l never see you again you greedy, gay, pussy who isn't toilet trained at 10."
The doctor stormed into the TARDIS and straight to the console where he immediately attempted to take off. The TARDIS didn't seem to be budging taking the doctor smashing his blood stained fists into the consoles keypad to kick start the 'mad mans box'.
"Well that's that then. "the doctor slapping his red hand together. Instantly the TARDIS began to crash slamming his head into the 'dirty' human magazine rack knocking him out cold and throwing Frobisher against the the TARDIS doors where he braced for impact. As the TARDIS crashed Frobisher waddled over to the monitor to check their destination.
"Shit!" Frobisher moaned staring at the monitor smashed on the floor. There was only way to check the crash site... Frobisher slowly opened the TARDIS door peeking out to find a grey horse with an expression of extreme shock and jolted cross-eye's.
"Fucking hell!" Frobisher Moaned "The horse planet has retards too!"
The penguin stumbled out off the TARDIS to see the crushed body of a stallion under the time machine blood oozing from the body streaming through Frobisher's flippers.
In a moment of loathing towards his master he mumbled "Arr Fuck... I cant believe you've done this."
Paul McGann's Horse Friends
Frobisher stared at the crushed corpse in front him still puzzled on how this happened. "So" he sated looking into the cross eyes of the incidents witness "Who was guy?"
"The Doctor" The Grey mare said proudly.
"Doctor... Who?" Frobisher questioned... "Shit!" Frobisher had realized what the time trading two had done.
After a few minutes of conversation between Frobisher and the mare he would now know as "Derpy" The Doctor stumbled out of the the TARDIS hair wet with blood and Play Boy down pants. "Arr Shit There's dead horse all over my hands!" The Doctor shouted.
"Well done!" Frobisher screamed "You fucking killed your self!"
"Frobisher... If I where to kill myself It would be a mass suicide with my cult that would end in me regenerating." The Doctor pointed out.
"I don't mean it like that!" Frobisher moaned, "This 'tard' just told me you crushed a guy called The Doctor who has a blue box which is bigger on the inside!"
"Yeah but there's one key fact your missing out..." The Doctor said.
"WHAT?!" Frobisher screamed.
"That bitch is a horse."
"Where in a fucking parallel dimension you cunt! Everyone's a fucking horse! For all I know I'm that cross-eyed cunt over there!" Frobisher yelled. "Now come on this Derpy bitch said something was up with the horse doctors TARDIS and that could be what's keeping us locked in this dimension."
"It's not nice to call people derpy Frobisher." The Doctor expressed his hatred of that word.
"That's her name you bitch brain." Frobisher explained.
The trio headed towards the location of the "horse Doctors" TARDIS lead by Derpy. Once the three entered the scaled down TARDIS exterior Derpy recalled the conversation her and the "horse Doctor" had about the broken state of the TARDIS.
"The Doc said it must've been Nigerian hacked," She remembered. "He said after he caused all poverty in Africa all African nations were after him... He assumed he was under an African attack anyway his main reason being his twitch account was recently hacked by notorious Nigerian activist 'RobloxGamer2007'
"Seems a pretty legit theory" the doctor said nodding "in our universe 'roblox gamer' has purposely converted North Korea's party pillars into weapons of mass destruction."
It was then spooky voice came out of the TARDIS speakers "N'yes it was me The Master all along!"
"Arr shit" The Doctor and Frobisher said in unison.
"What the fuck do you want?" Frobisher questioned
"I just wanted to say what's up my dudes?! N'yes!" The Master said in a sincere yet sinister tone.
"We all know you've done something CUNT!" The Doctor responded angrily.
"Well... N'yes. I need... A favor n'yes." The master continued in his sincere tone "Since the the time lords banished me to some random basement n'yes I have been unable to indulge in my fetishes so I payed a Nigerian prince to bring desert your TARDIS on this horse world where if you want to escape you will have to indulge in sex that involves all my fetishes each with a different horse n'yes.
"Fuck no you creepy bitch brain!" The Doctor responded with disgust and discomfort.
"Then you will never return from horse world n'yes." The master responded with sympathy.
Derpy screeched like a social person about to be next in line to order a meal from the chipo man before screaming "FUCKING HELL MASTER JUST GIVING HIM THE FUNKING LIST YOU RETARDED PIECE OF SHIT CUNT!"
The Doctor and Frobisher were frozen in disbelief at they're companions outburst.
The master responded to Derpys attack by simply saying "n'yes here it is n'yes the instructions are on the back n'yes." The master left the conversation and with that a tablet engraved with Galifryan markings came out of the TARDIS.
Neglecting to comment on Derpys outburst The Doctor took the device examining it, the device read...
Diapers.
WaterSports.
Pregnancy.
FoalCon. (Sex with a underage horse.)
Incest.
Rape.
Scat.
After reading each fetish The Doctor became more, and more, disturbed shown in his wincing expression
"What's up Doc?" Frobisher asked.
"Don't send me things about incest! I don't like incest! Cunt!" The Doctor stated to seemingly no one."
"Wait how in the name of the Blue Meanie are you going to do incest?" Derpy asked.
"I have no fucking clue." The Doctor responded. "All I know are the instructions on the reverse side have told me...
Once you The Doctor have completed a sexual act involving one of the seven fetishes of sin it will be removed from the list. Once the list is blank the TARDIS will be able to travel.
"Where do we start?!" Frobisher asked in annoyance of the task the partnership were set.
"Well... Diapers, piss and so called FoalCon I may know a certain pantie pissing, underage, orange horse who can help us out!" The Doctor said with confidence and a smile on his face.
"Where do you have diapers Doc'?" Derpy asked tilting her head to Side as her eyes began to cross further.
"Do you have horse 7/11's?" The Doctor responded with another question.
"Yeah?" Derpy responded unsure of why The Doctor asked.
"Well let's get some 'slushies' and training panties boys!" The Doctor shouted with glee attempting to boost morale on his tedious task.
"Wait Depy..." Frobisher asked "Why are you doing this with us?"
"It's either this or the special center..." Depy responded "Plus you guys are pretty awesome!"
"Well come on then!" The Doctors said with the taste of adventure all be it a wired one in his tone. "We gotta fuck horse while its pissing it's pants! It sounds wired... But you never know til you try."
And with the that the squad headed towards 7/11.
Paul McGann's Horse Friends
3) How to abuse your chicken
The trio of The Doctor, Frobisher and Derpy sat on the sidewalk leading to 7/11 slurping there recently purchased slurpies. The Doctor only had one thing on his mind other than the delicious frozen beverage melting in his mouth... He had to shag a small horse if he and Frobisher were ever to have a time travelling adventure again, and only that he had to make said horse forcibly piss it's self and then fuck it.He continued to day dream for the next five minutes as Depy and Frobisher talked about their travels with their respective Doctors. Eventually after their drinks were finished The Doctor asked Depy if she knew where Scootaloo lived she grabbed the 7/11 bag that contained a pack of "nighttime underwear" for fillies 8-12 and lead the way without a word spoken.
After about half a miles walk the trio came to the doorstep of Scootaloo where both screaming and slamming could be heard
"Fuck a duck! What 10 year old has sex this early in the afternoon!?" Frobisher asked in a disturbed tone.
Derpy tapped her hoof against the door of home that looked like one you would find on any Welsh council estate. Suddenly the slamming stopped and the screaming turned to crying when a strange sounding voice could be heated through the thin walls of the home. "You fur' kin stay there ya bitch! I'l be back to gerve yur watcha der'serve!" A large thud noise could be heard as someone appeared to walk down the states.
"We'rt der fur'k der yer want?!" An obese looking horse with a yellow in color with a red, untidy mane dressed in what looked to be a Scottish rugby shirt asked.
"Watch your mouth fagot!" The Doctor responded with anger. "And to answer your question I'm hear to see Scotaloo.
The strange looking horse responded getting noticeably angrier in his tone. "We'rl sh'ers ger'tin der belt at der mer'ment."
"Oh I thought she was lying about an abusive father but seems not." The Doctor said throwing a punch towards Scootaloo's dads face.
The horse stumbled back yet he would not give up grabbing a bottle in him moth and violently smashing it on the doctors head. The Doctor slapped the bottle out of the stallions mouth as the two men began to exchange blows each looking more brutal than the last with each another insult was exchanged such as "cuck cock" and "Faggot face." This continued for about a minute until Derpy tripped up Scootaloo's farther allow the doctor to mount him and repeatedly punch his face until it became dis formed and started to ooze blood.
The Doctor stood up and wiped the blood off his coat and face after thanking Derpy for her assistance. The Doctor walked back over to the orange horse uncontrollably coughing up blood uttering "Fucking normie" The Doctor grabbed the ponies head and twisted it until a loud crack could be heard.
"Well down to business!" The Doctor said entering the small house from which cries could be heard.
"What are we gonna do with the body?" Frobisher asked.
"Arr good point" The Doctor responded "Put it in the fucking fridge for now we can deal with it later."
"Are we gonna eat it?!" Frobiser replied with glee as The Doctors face turned to an expression of confusion.
"Of course not you actual gimp!" Derpy replied.
Frobisher nodded with disappointment , he and Derpy made their way into the house and began to clear out the fridge remover items such as seven tubs of extra creamy, sour cream now 42.0% sour cream, and about 69 bottles of beer in order to make room for the corpse.
Once the body was disposed of the newly named "so-called extra cream dream team" made their way up the stairs of the council house where faint cries could be heard. The team searched around upstairs until Derpy found the door to the room in which the cries could be heard.
"This door says a thing!" Derpy shouted.
"What dose it say!?" The Doctor shouted in reply from the bathroom (where he and Frobisher were "expatriating")
"I Can't read!" Derpy shouted in frustration.
The Doctor and Frobisher emerged from the incredibly small bathroom to see what the door says...
"The bitch who killed Ma bitch" The Doctor read... "Scotaloo's room?" The Doctor asked.
"Scotaloo's room." Frobisher answered.
The Doctor kicked down the door to the room shouting "DICKS OUT FOR HARAMBE!" Prior to unzipping his zipper. "Shit!" The Doctor said in an empathetic tone, staring at the mess below his feet.
Scotaloo was curled into a ball her rear half was completely shaved of hair, her bare ass clearly displayed the bruise's and marks given to her by both hoof and belt. She was in a puddle of tears, blood and urine where her only signs of movement were her sobbing head and twitching wing.
The Doctor looked around the room, it had no bed, no closet, no toys or decorations or anything you would expect in a ten year old girls bedroom... just a pile of old news paper sheets and a small pile of clothes.
"Too bad I gotta rape her..." The Doctor uttered.
Derpy insistently sucker hoofed The Doctor in the face throwing him to the hard floor. The Doctor only heard the words "You sick fuck-dick!" Before blacking out.
Frobisher walked over check on The Doctor while Derpy did the same for Scotaloo. Comforting the young horse before going to tend to the girls wounds. As Depy was leaving the room, orange foal on back she whisperer something into the penguin ear.
Left alone in the small room Frobisher grinned widely and began to set to work with his orders.
