Chapters Proving Quantum Mechanics With Ponies
I Sit Up and Lose My Cool
I Sit Up and Lose My Cool
My name is Theodore Dedrick, I am a sixteen-year-old high school student and my story begins with me sitting up. It's a fitting way to start a story, raising yourself I mean. It starts your day, so why not a story? I was bruised and scraped up, but alive. Perspiration covered my body; every last inch of skin was smothered in sweat. My clothes looked like they had been worn by a very enthusiastic cat's scratching post. I was also missing my left shoe and my big toe peaked out from that familiar hole in my sock.
I couldn't help but chuckle at it (the whole situation really, not just the sock). It was just the day I had been having. Little things had been going wrong all over the place.
***A List of Things That Went Wrong Today***
· I missed the bus (it seems trivial but it was a foreshadowing as to what the day would be like).
· I received a 'B-' on a math quiz (I was still beating myself up for that one)
· No one laughed at my jokes
· And the lunch was horrible (it's bad usually but today it was exceptionally disgusting).
As I scanned my surroundings it dawned on me how serious this predicament was. I could ignore the other issues, but the current one was big. "Where the..." I mumbled to myself. There were many purple mountain majesties, rolling grassy hills and everything seemed to be a little more...brighter. But there was nothing I recognized. This wasn't a 'drip some ketchup on your shirt' problem; it was a 'where in the universe am I' problem.
Out of my peripherals I saw a shadow dash across the sky. I whipped my head around trying to catch the owner but it had already disappeared. The funny thing was, the shadow seemed to polychromic. The full spectrum of the rainbow. Being the hopeless Brony I was, it got me thinking. “That’s stupid Theo,” I told myself, “There is no way the machine worked that well.” But the more I looked around the more it became apparent. “Where is the machine?” I asked myself. Clumps of the dirt below me at the time of the machine’s misfiring had been transferred as well. I couldn't help but think how lucky it was that I moved the device out of my room when I did. Otherwise half my room would have come along for the ride and explaining that to my mom would be hell. That is if you ever see her again a voice in the back of my head seemed to say.
That’s when the true severity of the moment hit me, would I ever be able to get back home? The only means of transportation from this strange land to home was probably still sitting in my backyard or it blew itself to smithereens. Either way, very inaccessible from my current position. As I gathered my composure, the shadow made a reappearance, but I was still unable to turn fast enough to catch sight of the owner. “Is anyone there?” I ask to no one in particular. “I’m warning you, I know Kung Fu!” I said a little louder. I was lying, but hopefully my assailant didn't know that. I heard a rustling noise coming from one of the trees and turned to it. That was when my world would forever be changed. The figure that emerged from the tree leaves was exactly who I had scolded myself for thinking it was. She glided softly to the ground with here muscular wings. Her cerulean coat and multicolored mane rippled as she touched down. I swear my jaw hit the floor as I stared, wide-eyed at the television show character, Rainbow Dash .
Five minutes. That’s how long we, me and Rainbow Dash, spent sizing each other up. No one spoke. In fact, I was unsure if she spoke English. A mixture of wonder, curiosity and fear played across her face as the minutes wore on. Finally I overcame my hesitation and decided to make the first move. “Um…Can you speak?” I asked. Under normal circumstances, trying to communicate with a horse would be the last thing I would be caught doing. But the possibility that I could be living one of my favorite T.V. shows was too rich to pass up.
The pony cocked her head sideways and wore a puzzled look. Then she took off. She rocketed away at highway speeds. “Wait! No! Come back!” I screamed after her, but she was already gone. Figuring I had nothing to lose, I ran after her. It wasn't long before I was at the top of the hill she had disappeared behind, and that’s when I saw it. Ponyville . The quaint town was bustling with action. I saw the end of Rainbow’s trail just before it vanished. It was leading to the center of town. The actual city was still at least a ten minute jog away but at that moment I knew I had done it, the machine had done it. I was in Equestria.
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Proving Quantum Mechanics With Ponies
A Trans-dimensional Tourist's Guide to Ponyville
A Trans-dimensional Tourist’s Guide to Ponyville
Overflowing with joy at the revelation, I sprinted down the dirt path leading to the town. In my excitement what would have taken ten minutes took only three. I was completely out of breath by the end. I supported myself with my hands on my knees as I struggled for oxygen. The town was everything I dreamed of (literally, I often daydreamed of Ponyville when the class lecture got particularly boring).
The only thing that was different from the series was the ponies themselves. Not physically of course, I could even recognize some of the background characters from the show, but the way they acted. They weren't going about their daily business, in fact, it was stone cold silent. They were all staring, flabbergasted and open-mouthed. Everyone’s (or should I say every pony’s) attention was on me. I did the comic “look behind yourself not realizing that they are looking at you” routine to liven the mood but there were no takers. Their stares felt like they were burning a hole straight through my forehead and it was getting uncomfortable. I couldn't stand the silence anymore. I opened my mouth to speak. Bad idea.
I guess they saw this as a threat and started running for cover. Some made it to their respective homes and some to a shop and quickly closed the doors. And still others decided behind a fruit stand was the best way to go. “Wait! Stop! I’m not going to hurt you!” I yelled trying to get their attention back. But it was no use. That was the second time today someone (some pony?) ran from me and I was helpless to stop them. I turned this busy city into a ghost town in ten seconds flat I thought to myself. I would have chuckled at my own joke if it weren't for the hate crime I had just experienced. They had treated me like a stranger, an outsider, a monster. Given that two of those were true, I felt that treating me like the third was uncalled for. Just then, there was a voice.
“Um…hello?” it was all too familiar. I turned around slowly as to not scare the voices owner away. When I completed my one hundred and eighty degree rotation, I was face to face with my idol. Twilight Sparkle, . As I stared into her big purple eyes it hit me, she is the only one here that could have any possible chance of helping me home. And there was no way I was going to mess up that chance.
***My reflection on this Realization***
Time: around one third of a second.
Content: I decided to not do anything to scare her away. And I considered telling her that I knew almost everything of her life up until now without ever meeting her before a viable way to freak her out. Lying to Twilight Sparkle would be the only way to ensure my safe return.
I wasn't proud of this and I knew if Applejack ever found out I would get a scolding, but it was the only way I could keep her from running.
“Hello there, my name is Theo,” I said cheerily sticking out my hand for a shake. “Oh, whoops, I guess you don’t do that here,” I said putting my hand away in its respective pocket.
“No, we do shake hooves when meeting new people," she replied confused.
"Oh, I wouldn't know. I'm not from around here, if you couldn't tell." I said with a wink to seal the deal. Twilight did a cute chuckle before she was ripped back to the present situation.
"Oh...yes...well, perhaps we should continue this conversation at my residence so as not to...uh...frighten anypony else" she said motioning to all the ponies peeking out from their hiding places.
"Oh yeah, that's a good idea," I replied rather plainly.
"Well, fallow me then," she said as she turned and began to walk. Hook, line, and sinker , I thought to myself as I fist pumped for emphasis. I then composed myself and caught up to Twilight, fallowing in her wake.
I wouldn't be one for bestiality, but to be honest, I was enjoying the view as I trailed behind her through the town. Her tail teased me, swaying from side to side. I decided to distract myself before she turned around and saw me staring. As I looked around I saw some of the buildings from the show: Carousel Boutique, Town Hall, and Sugar Cube Corner. Twilight was calling them out as we went by, but having watched all fifty-four episodes several times over, I did not need to be familiarized with the town's architecture. Also I saw the effect I was having on the town's ponies. They scrambled out of the way in front of me with fear on their faces. They then reformed behind me with curiosity replacing the fear. I guess if we really didn't want to make a scene, this wasn't the way.
Then suddenly, we stopped.
"This is it," she said fumbling with the keys. Not how we do it though, her horn lit up as the keys sorted themselves out. When the door was finally opened a smell of disinfectant and old paper hit me. She walked inside while I stood there. "Well, are you coming?" she asked standing in the doorway. I looked at her. I still couldn't believe that I was here, in Equestria and at Twilight's house-tree. Judging by her face, mine must have look quite stupid.
"Yeah, this is all just so...new to me," I lied.
Proving Quantum Mechanics With Ponies
Enter the Multiverse
I had to duck in order to cross the threshold. I guess the house-tree architect didn't expect extra-dimensional beings taller then the average pony to be visiting. Typical. Once I was in, Twilight shut the door with her magic. Her house was a mess to say the least. Books of all different sizes and colors littered the floor. The desk also was smothered in broken quills, empty ink bottles, and half written scrolls.
"Please excuse the clutter, I haven't gotten around to cleaning in a while," she said leading me to a table much too small for a human. "Err..." she said realizing the problem.
"I'd rather stand anyway," I replied to her questioning look. She seemed relieved that there was something in this house that wouldn't need her tending to. She then flopped down in the chair opposite where I was standing. She stared at me and for the first time I saw how beat she really was. Her mane was uncoiffed, she had dark circles around her eyes and her coat seemed as if hadn't been truly washed for a couple days.
"So where shall we begin?" she asked using her magic to pour a cup of coffee from a non-electric brewer sitting on her desk. I eyed it from where I was standing. I hadn't had anything to drink in about two hours and that sprint to town hadn't helped the situation. I saw the light come on as she realized what I wanted.
"Oh, I'm sorry, what a terrible host I am. Would you like some coffee too? Do you drink coffee where you come from?" she said adding that last part as an after thought.
"Yes we do and I would love some, thank you," I answered in my best gentlemen voice.
"Sorry," she repeated, pouring me a glass with her magic. "It's just I've had a lot of studying to do lately and Princess Celestia has been assigning projects left and right..." She trailed off looking at her beverage as if it had some mystical answer to her problems. I grabbed my cup out of the air as it was offered and took a sip. I cringed when the fluid contacted my tongue. It was slightly colder than room temperature and had an unappetizing after taste. What was that? Plant matter?
***How I Knew What Plant Matter Tasted Like***
Don’t ask.
I then realized that plants were a regular part of a pony's diet and it would only make sense that they were in their coffee too. I decided to be polite and stomach at least half of it.
"Princess Celestia?" I questioned with my best raised-eyebrow face.
"Oh yeah, you're new here. She rules the land of Equestria with her sister, Princess Luna," she replied rather sleepily, sipping her coffee.
"And I would assume that this land is Equestria," I said acting stupid.
"Well then you would be correct. Alright, my turn to ask a question. Who rules over your land?" she said adding the last part with some genuine interest but still rather tired.
"Um, we don't have a supreme ruler, humans tried that several time and too often did it end in a lot of people dying," I said trying to use the lightest tone I could muster up. I knew that those types of things didn't happen here and if I wanted Twilight, and the rest of pony-kind, to accept me I would have to keep the dark side of humans quiet. Just another thing Twilight doesn't know wouldn't hurt her, right? "There are many different countries with different government structures but where I come from we have a new leader elected every four years."
"Wow, that's so...weird. I don't know if I could live like that, I'm so used to having an immortal ruler," she said now forgetting her fatigue and becoming enthralled in the conversation.
"My turn again," I said. This is why I loved ponies. If some alternate dimensional being were to end up on earth they would be put in a small metal room, chained and demanded answers of. Here, we've turned the interrogation into a game over a cup of coffee. "Has your society found laws for magic like the laws of physics?" I asked.
"Well yeah, we have Starswirl's Laws of Magic. Has your world not discovered these yet? I would love to share them with you if you have the time," she said excited by the change to her favorite topic.
"Well, no, we don't have laws for magic because where I come from we don't have magic," I said reminded of one of the reasons I watched the show back home.
"You don't have magic?!" she exclaimed, frightened by the idea, "Just where are you from?"
"Well I'm not exactly from this, um, world..." I said using the voice I use when trying to explain something to a younger child.
"You don't have to talk down to me, um," she said motioning for my name.
"Theo."
"Right, Theo, I'm the Princesse's number one student and I can handle anything you throw at me." she finished sternly.
"Okay, so I'm from a different universe," I bluntly stated. Twilight seemed to be taken a back by this.
"A different universe? Wow, I knew their existence was possible, but not transportation between them. How did you manage that?"
"Wait, so you know of quantum mechanics' multiple world theorem?" I questioned.
***A Crash Course in the Multiple World Theorem***
Quantum Theory allows for the existence of different universes where in, at every choice decided in a universe a new universe splits off for every possible outcome of said choice. This yields infinitely many universes each with a different outcome of events for every choice ever decided. This is called Multiple World Theorem or the multiverse.
"Yeah," she said eagerly, "I'm familiar with it."
"Right, so I come from a universe where my species is the apex species on this planet and magic doesn't exist in our fundamental laws of the universe. And so a couple of days ago I discovered a foreign piece of technology. Upon trying to fix the device, I somehow activated it and it brought me here," I said forcing out the words. It reminded of how normal my life was and how messed up it was.
"Well where is the device now?" she asked plainly.
"I really have no idea, it could be back at my house or it could still be travelling sideways thought universes. It could be in a billion little pieces scattered about the multiverse for all I know," I said, my frustration leaking into my voice a little more than I wanted. I took a deep breath trying to compose myself again.
"Well I can see this is stressful for you, being in a completely new reality and all, so whatever you need, we'll have it here. The people of Ponyville never turn down a friend," she said resting a hoof on my hand that was around my cup.
"Thanks Twilight, I knew I could count on you," I said noticing the sensation of her fur on my hand.
"How could you know to count on me, you've only known me for an hour." Shit. How could I let myself slip like that? I thought, come on, think! Control the situation before it controls you. That was something my parents had told me too often.
"Well...um...you just have that...um...aura about you." Yeah, real smooth Theo, but it will have to do. She gave me a little awkward smile and before she could ask anything else I said, "So, tell me, who else is as awesome as you here in Ponyville?" She gave a little giggle at my failed flattery.
"Well why would I tell you, If I could show you?" she said answering my question with a question. Alright, still in the game.
Proving Quantum Mechanics With Ponies
I Meet the Mares
Twilight was already up and in the kitchen washing her cup.
"Just let me finish these dishes and then we'll go, okay?" she said trying to project her voice over the now running tap. As tired as she was she seemed to jump at the chance to procrastinate on her work for the princess. I had never heard of homework Twilight didn't want to complete so whatever it was, it was bad. Curiosity got the best of me.
"Don't you have work to do? You could have me meet your friends another time," I suggested walking through the half-ellipse door way into the kitchen. She turned to face me.
"I think a life form from another dimension showing up in your town is on the list of 'Things your homework can be late for', and for me that's a very short list."
"Well I would think that was ultimately decided by the homework itself. So, uh, what kind of homework are we talking about here? And where does this go?" I asked showing her my half full cup.
"I'll take it, thanks," she said lifting it with a magenta glow and turning back to the sink. She dumped it out and started washing it, "Oh, nothing much."
"Just nothing much?"
"Yes, nothing much. Why do you care about my homework anyway?" she asked.
"I don't, I was just wondering if this is in fact a good excuse for your homework."
"Well I can assure you it is," she said turning back to me, "Do you not want to meet my friends?" she inquired.
"No, I ju-"
"So you would rather do something here?"
"No, I tho-"
"Then what's the problem?" she said staring right at my face only a few inches away. I paused.
"Nothing, everything is fine," I said finally.
"Then let's go," she said just before bursting into a shower of purple and white sparks with a loud 'pop', "We don't have all day," she finished, her voice coming from the next room. I met her by the door which swung open with a little magic and we headed out into the afternoon light.
Once my eyes adjusted to the change in lux level, I could see the busy ponies walking and running from residences to businesses and back again. When we stepped outside everypony seemed to remember that a trans-dimensional creature was among them and turned their attention to it. Unfortunately, that was me. Some awkward moments of stopping and staring fallowed. It felt like a millennia before Twilight spoke up.
"Don't worry everypony! He checks out!" Some of the ponies weren't convinced though.
"So he's not going to eat us?" one I know to be Bonbon.
"No, he doesn't eat ponies. You don't eat ponies, right?" she said whispering the question sideways to me.
"No we usually eat cows, pigs and chicken. I've actually never had horse meat before," I said looking her up and down. She gave me a horrified glance which immediately melted into a playful grin.
"Does he have...hands!?" came a voice from the crowd. It was none other than Lyra, the hand freak from what my internet searches had told me.
"Ugh," the crowd said dispersing at the mention of Lyra's obsession. I guess that's the down side of living in a small town. Everyone knows you, your interests, your dreams, your obsessions.
"Alright, let's go." said Bonbon pulling Lyra away by the ear, "Can you not ruin a social outing with your freaky hand fetish."
As the crowd dissolved back to their normal schedule, five mares moved opposite the crowd towards us. My breath caught in my throat. I knew who they were, and I know you know who they are. But for the sake of the story I'll introduce them anyways. The Mane 6 .
"Oh and here come my - what's wrong with your face?" she said staring at me. I tore myself away from the sight of the mares to look at Twilight and said something along the lines of 'Huhgwa?'.
"What's wrong? You look terrible."
I shook my head to clear the surprise from my face. They were even better in person, I thought. I wiped the drool from the corner of my mouth and finally replied.
"Nothing, everything's fine, perfect actually. “I said was staring at the group of mares making their way towards us. My ogling didn't go unnoticed by Twilight. She was looking were I was looking trying to find what had me mesmerized.
"I don't -"
"Twilight, we came as soon as Rainbow told us," came a shout from the group moving as fast as the opposing crowd would let them.
"Hey girls, we were actually just coming to look for you," Twilight said, "This is Theo, Theo these are my friends: Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy." She pointed to each mare respectfully as she stated their name. And each responded with a unique greeting.
***A List of Each Mare's Acknowledgments***
•Pinkie Pie: "Hiya!"
•Applejack: "Howdy!"
•Rainbow Dash: "Was up?"
•Rarity: "Hello there darling."
•Fluttershy: "Um...hi..."
"Well hello to all of you," I said after their introductions, "I-"
"Are you some kind of monster?" Rainbow Dash interrupted.
"No, I'm-"
"Do you eat Ponies?" Pinkie asked.
"No I d-"
"Where'd ya’ come from?" Applejack questioned.
"And what are you wearing? I haven’t seen plaid in two years ago," Rarity fallowed up. Soon every one of the mares was asking me questions ranging from who I was to my favorite flavor of ice cream. But in the efficient of meeting something so unlike them they forgot to give me adequate time to answer. That being one of my pet peeves, to say the least, I was annoyed.
"Would everypony please SHUT UP!”
Silence.
“I'm a human being from a different universe! I found a device that could move me sideways through these other dimensions and brought me here! And where I come from plaid is still an acceptable form of attire!" I finished glaring at Rarity.
"Well!" Rarity responded while sticking her nose straight up in the air and turning away from me.
"Geez, somepony woke up on the wrong side of the cloud this morning," Rainbow said crossing her forelegs and copying Rarity's gestures.
"What's gotten into you? I knew something was up earlier. C’mon, you can tell us, we're not the enemies here," Twilight said from behind me.
"I know, it's just I guess I'm a little sore about getting thrown from my universe and into this one without any means of getting back. And talking about home just makes it worse," I said giving away more of my inner workings than I would have liked to. Got to maintain a macho profile and all.
"Ah, don't worry 'bout it sugar cube, we know that yer goin' through a rough spot," Applejack said in a cheery tone.
"Yes, and we're here to help," Twilight added. And everypony strengthened the statement with an affirmative "Uh-huh".
"Wait," the uncharacteristically quiet Pinkie Pie said (I think the whole 'other universe' thing had thrown her for a loop and she was still trying to wrap her mind around it), do you know what this calls for?" I had been waiting for that. "A Paaaaartyy!" she screamed running off in a direction I could only assume was towards the town's party store.
"You girls can go help with the party supplies; I still have to find a sleeping arraignment for Theo. We'll meet back at five o'clock for the party at the library, ok?" Twilight said. I could see her type-A brain already organizing the next four hours.
***A List of the Four Mare's Responses***
•Rainbow Dash: "Cool with me."
•Rarity: "Splendid idea."
•Applejack: "Sounds good ta’ me."
•Fluttershy: "Um...okay...”
They trotted off together down the road the pink mare had taken. I think I liked to watch them walk away as much as watching them draw nearer. So I'm not just attracted to Twilight's swaying derrière, it's just mares in general. Great, this is going to be a weird forever.
"Now let's find you a place to spend the night," came Twilight's voice pulling me out of my day dream.
“Actually I think I want to check out a book or two," I said thoughtfully.
"Huh, really? What did you have in mind?" she asked trying to cover her excitement for the topic.
"Something on the history of Equestria," I said as we turned to walk back to the library. But this time I purposely let her walk before me. Theo, there are more pressing matters than checking out the purple ponies behind, I told myself. But I didn't want to hear it.
Proving Quantum Mechanics With Ponies
Ain't No Party Like a Pinkie Pie Party...
Ain't No Party Like A Pinkie Pie Party...
Back at Twilight's house tree, I sat on the couch with my feet curled beneath me enjoying another grass-coffee (it was starting to grow on me.) as well as a book.
***The Book That Kept My Attention for Two and a Half Hours.***
An All-Encompassing Introduction to the History of Equestria and Her Colonies
Just a fascinating read. Once I was done with all the important chapters, I got up to shake my limbs where my blood had pooled from disuse. Just then Twilight walked in. She giggled at the sight of me dance around trying to get feeling back in my left leg. Once the tingling stopped I turned toward her.
"So what's the news?" I asked her while folding the page corner and closing the book.
"Well Ponyville Inn is completely booked. Apparently there is some Sci-Fi convention being hosted here this week. You know what that's like–or, do you?" she inquired.
"Yes, we have those on Earth too. Our societies aren't that different." Except for the fact that humans have certain war-like tendencies that can't be found anywhere in the creature standing before me, I thought. I'm not kidding. There had been disagreements in their past, but the worst of which was a three year long snowball fight. There were countless scraped knees and elbows, but no deaths were reported. Actually, the populations of all three species increased during this time. There just wasn't a bad atom in their beings. It was, in fact, a utopia.
"So tell me about Earth," she said sitting on the couch pulling me from my comparison of our cultures. "What's it like? Are there other humans like you there?" Great, I thought, I can't corrupt her with the destruction of human endeavors. No, this place is what philosophers and political figures have wondered of for millenia. I can't ruin this.
"Oh, you know, pretty much the same as here but we're all bipeds that wear clothes." I say rather quickly, taking a seat next to her and drinking my grass-coffee while looking away.
"Pretty much the same?" she asks with a raised eyebrow, "How so?"
"Well I already told you that our governments are different and that on my planet there are many, but that's about the extent of the dissimilarities."
"And the people dying from totalitarian governments?" she asked recalling or conversation from earlier.
"Oh that? That only happened, like, once," I said, again looking away while sipping my beverage.
"Really?" she looked unconvinced.
"Yes, really, so what about my sleeping arrangements?" I said desperately trying to change the subject.
"Oh, right! Well, Ponyville Inn is full and there aren't any other hotel's in town, so I guess you're staying with me," she said, her voice's pitch increasing on the last part. This is perfect! I thought, Not only am I in my favorite imaginary place, I’ll be staying with my favorite imaginary mare! No one will ever believe this back…home. Oh yeah, home. My excitement turned to utter hopelessness. There was no conceivable way for me to get home without breaking some of the irrefutable laws of physics. Well, I did manage to get here so it wasn't impossible, but it was going to be a quintillion times harder without a piece of alien technology. If at all possible. I guess my face gave away my depression because Twilight asked, "What's the matter? Don't you want to stay with me?"
"No, no, I'm fine with that. I love the idea! I was just thinking how I'm never going to see anyone I care about again," I said, my voice cracking at the last part.
"Well, you care about me, don't you? And my friends? You don't seem to hate us at least." she said leaning in and opening her forelegs for a hug. It was kind of awkward; a human and a pony hugging. It felt bizarre, but at the same time it was soothing. She smelled like old scrolls and books and disinfectant. She smelt good.
"Yeah, I guess I do" Maybe more than you know.
*****
Around three hours later Pinkie’s expertly planed party was well underway. I was standing near the door in a room of what seemed like a hundred ponies. I was holding a cup half full of fruit punch and tapped a finger to the rhythm. The thunderous beats were provided by none other than the white mare with the fan given name of Vinyl Scratch. She played music by some vaguely familiar artists: Foster the Ponies, One Monarchy and, the one Rainbow Dash considered to be the best, Green Hay. It was quite interesting to hear the pony interpretation of the songs I had grown so accustomed to.
From across the way I saw Pinkie Pie dancing over to the vegetable platters behind me. Granted all of the steps weren't devoted to the direction she was inevitably traveling so it took some time for her to close the distance, but the nearer she drew to me I could tell she was singing along to the lyrics of the current track.
“…some pony… that I used to know, some pony…” After one final turn, she was right in front of me and greeted me with a smile, “Hey, Theo! How you likin' your welcome party so far?” she said talking above the all-around din.
“I think you did a very good job, thank you very much Pinkie.” I said with the same volume.
“Oh don’t thank me yet, it only just started, once the young fillies and colts go home that’s when the real fun begins.” She said and then looked around. Once she was satisfied with what she saw, or rather, what she didn't see, she turned back to me. “Actually, Apple Bloom was the last one and Applejack is tucking her in as we speak so the fun can begin right now.”
Before I could ask any questions Pinkie had disappeared in a blur of pink and reappeared at the turntable, bumping Vinyl out of the way. The music stopped. Pinkie’s enthusiastic voice came through the speakers, amplifying her usually loud and sharp vocals to and earsplitting level. “Heeey Every Pony! Are we having a good time!?!” Her inquiry incited an outburst of approving noises from the crowd. “I can’t hear YOU!!” This time a full-fledged roar erupted from the forty to fifty ponies contained in Twilight’s living room. “Well, all the little foals are brushing their teeth and hitting the hay right about now so you know what that means!”
Apparently they did know what it meant because the crowed collectively made the windows vibrate. Pinkie Pie stepped back from the turntable and the music resumed as a couple of ponies came out of the kitchen carrying a big silver keg that produced a sloshing sound all the way to the punch table. Even before it began to pour from the uncapped nozzle into the punch bowl, even before the unmistakable smell reached my nasal passages, I knew what it was. Alcohol.
She sure does know how to throw a party. The entire room flocked to the punch bowl to fill their cups, the pegasi literally flew to the table, effectively creating a tree dimensional blockade of ponies around the punch bowl. The ponies greedily drank the fluid until the bowl had to be refilled from the keg.
As the freshly spirited crowd dissipated, I thought about the parties I had been to back on earth. Nothing real serious, a couple of birthday parties here and there and some Christmas and other seasonal parties four or five times, but never anything where alcoholic beverages were served so freely. I definitely wasn't a hard core party-er like a high school character from an ‘80’s movie.
“Are you going to have some?” came a voice from beside me. I jumped but managed to not spill more than a drop or two from the cup in my hand. It was Rainbow Dash who had spooked me. “Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. It’s just, you were staring at the punch and I didn't know if you wanted some and didn't know how to use the ladle or something,” she said trailing off a bit at the end.
“Oh, no, I know how to use a ladle, we have those too. I was just…thinking,” I said.
“About what?” she asked looking me straight in the eye. She seemed genuinely interested.
“Well, it’s just… I've never really had alcohol before.” I answered scratching the back of my neck with my free hand.
“Why? Don’t you guys have it where you come from?”
“We do but I—uh—am not the correct age, by law, to be partaking in the consumption of it.” I said a little ashamed. I don’t really know why I was embarrassed, maybe because I didn't fit the average high school-er stereotype, or maybe because of the one that I did fit, which was a nerd. But Rainbow didn't seem to pick up on this and just looked at me puzzled.
“In English?”
“I’m not old enough to back on earth.”
“Oh…That makes loads more sense!” She said, “Well, if you hadn't noticed, were not on earth right now.” She said alluringly.
“I did notice, thank you for the observation anyways though, but there’s still—”
“C'mon, lighten up big boy, have some fun.” She said getting closer to me. I could smell just a hint of liquor on her breath. Something about those magenta eyes… She is right, I thought, We aren't on earth. And being a student of my stature, I could afford to lose a few brain cells. Not like the ones that drink on a regular basis. I looked back at the punch bowl. Rainbow took it as a sign to scoop some out for me. So that’s how they use ladles. She let it pour, filling up the rest of the space in my cup. She then replaced the ladle and picked up her own cup.
“Bottoms up!” She said.
We drank.
****
Hours went by. Exactly how many I really can’t tell you. All I can say is, two and a half cups later, Twilight was looking mighty fine. Not that she didn't look nice before, I do so love the plain and simple style she sported, but the beer goggles were on and the effects were clear.
***Where I Stood***
Among a crowd of ponies near the door, of which, I had no idea who they were. They talked amongst themselves and, on occasion, to me. At which point I would nod and return a “yeah” or a “uh-huh”.
I stared at her from across the room. She looked distracted; idly poking her cup with a fore hoof almost to the tipping point and watching it fall back to the table. It was kind of cute, the way her face was screwed up in a frown, thinking of something...
“Hey Theo!” Applejack’s voice tore me from my ogling and back to the party. “Great party, huh?” she said getting closer than comfortable. My inebriation was only enough to make the stupid seem feasible, not make me unreceptive to social queues. And even through my own, I could see that she was flat out drunk. She started spouting something about the farm and how lonely it is, I wasn't really paying any attention because Twilight was on the move. She had picked up her cup in a hoof and started towards the stairs.
“Hey, can I take a rain check on this conversation? Thanks AJ, I owe you one.” I said while leaving.
“Oh—uh—sure thing partner!” she called after me.
Twilight disappeared at the top of the stair case, obviously going to her room for some quite thinking time. This is my chance , I thought , I'll just tell her how I feel, and maybe she feels the same way. That’s all I can hope for, that’s all anyone can hope for. I climbed the stairs. As I walked down the hall the music and chatting became quieter, although not by much. I came to a door that was cracked just a bit. Assuming it was Twilight’s room, I pushed it open. The door glided open soundlessly. Recently oiled. She runs a tight ship.
The moment I stepped in I knew it was indeed Twilight’s room. There were three bookshelves carved into the tree’s wood, each containing a plethora of books. A desk with an extinguished candle and four or five roles of scrolls with feather pens skewed about. Her waist-paper basket was overfilling with crumpled-up pieces of parchment. And her bed was south of her northeast facing window. A natural alarm clock, genius!
I stepped lightly through the mess of school supplies that littered the floor to the ajar balcony door. Peeking through the opening, I saw her, gazing out at the stars. I pushed open the door hoping to make an entrance; it, too, didn't make a sound. I spoke to make myself known.
“Clear night.” She turned around to look at me. I gave her a half smile then looked out at the stars.
“Yes, clearer than usual,” she said turning back to them. I approached the portion of railing next to her, studding those astronomical balls of gas that have plagued the interests of so many men (and probably ponies) for thousands of years before me. I always feel the same thing when I look up, a certain smallness, but at the same time, hope.
This being the first time I had seen the stars from Equestria, I noticed the stars and constellations here were identical to the ones seen from earth. I’m still on earth, just in another universe. A cold rock formed in my stomach; I felt even more home sick. Something about knowing that you’re on your home world but at the same time…not, makes you queasy.
“Recognize any of them?” Twilight spoke up from beside me.
“Yes, I’m quite familiar with them,” I replied, “They’re the same as back home. I guess the swapping of apex species can’t change the stars.”
“They are immovable, aren't they?” she said in a matter-of-fact tone.
“Let’s see…Cyprus, the seven sisters, Orion, Cassiopeia, and the Pegasus.” I said pointing to each as it was named. I finished with my finger hovering over the big quadrilateral that was supposed to be a pegasus. I never did really get that one.
“Wait, pegasus?” she looked at me quizzically, “Humans knew of pegasi?”
“Oh yeah, I guess we did. They are our myths and legends. It only became strange a couple of hours ago when I found out they were real,” I said scratching the back of my neck. Twilight giggled. It was a weird, slurred type of giggle. She had been drinking too.
“Our worlds must have had some kind of contact in the past,” she said thoughtfully. We stood there thinking, forgetting we were still looking at each other. I came back to reality when she did and we both looked back to the stars. We sat there for a while, just staring.
“Twilight?” I said, pulling her attention back to me.
“Yeah, Theo?” she looked me in the eye. Then I realized something. If I wanted to get anywhere with this pony, if I share my life with her, I would have of share all of it. I would have to break my oath upon entering this strangely familiar world. It wasn't really an oath any way. It was more of a short sighted decision, I rationalized.
“I have to tell you something,” I began.
“What?”
“I…It’s…Well you see…”
“What is it? C’mon, you can tell me.” She encouraged through mouth and action by stepping closer. I could smell the alcohol on her breath. It was sweet smelling. Here goes.
“Well, I—uh—haven’t been completely—uh—honest with you guys.”
Subtle.
I could see her defenses kick in, her mind raising the alert. She took a slight step back.
“What do you mean?”
“Well—uh—I mean...you didn't only show up in our mythology.”
Again, she asked, “What do you mean?”
“Well—uh—there is a TV show—uh—about you guys.”
A blank stare. This went way more smoothly in my head.
“A what?” she asked finally.
“A TV show. Oh, right—you don’t have those. Well there are these electronic boxes that take radio waves or other types of signals and convert them to pictures, that’s called a TV. Every week there are these showings on the TV of episodes that are like little plays that contribute to an over aching plot of the series. Make sense?” I said finishing with a smile.
“Kind of. So people watch shows about ponies?” she inquired.
“Not just any ponies, you and your friends specifically.”
Another blank stare. Damn, this is awkward.
“So humans watch us, me and my friends, go on all our adventures?” she asked closing her eyes and rubbing her head with a fore hoof.
“Yes. I've seen all the episodes by the way.” I said proudly.
“Oh, you've seen all the episodes,” she said harshly. My smile disappeared. “And you didn't think it was in mine and my friend’s best interests to know that you've been invading our private lives for some time now?”
“It’s not really invading—”
“It’s not, is it?” her voice raising to a yell. “Would you like to have your life broadcasted to the entire populous of Equestria?”
“Well, no b—”
“Then why is it different for us. Why do we have to suffer for your entertainment?” she asked while slowly stepping forward. My natural reaction was to avoid her rage by stepping back. It didn't help much.
“It’s—”
“And to think you’re just telling me this now! I opened my house and home to you, exposed my friends to you.” My back hit the rough bark of the tree. No more space left to retreat. “And to what?! A liar? A thief?”
“Hey, I’m no—”
“I trusted you! I guess that was a bad idea!” she yelled, turning around and laying her head down on the balcony beam, poking at it angrily with her hoof. “Just get out of my sight, Theo.”
Speechless. For the first time in my life, I was at a loss for words. My idol had turned on me. And all I could do was sit there, looking stupid with my mouth slightly agape. With nothing else to do, I complied. I left the balcony, shutting the door behind me. I heard small sobs on the other side. Why was she crying? I’m the one who was wrong, I messed up. I didn't go back though, I wouldn't have known what to say.
Downstairs the party had almost stopped, just a few stragglers remained. The music was no longer playing because the white mare with the ruffled electric blue mane was lying unconscious on her turntable. Everypony else was either too drunk to find their home, or already asleep.
It didn't seem right to stay, not after what had just happened. Plus my designated sleeping spot, aka, the couch, was presently occupied by a passed out Pinkie Pie on one side, and a young couple voraciously making out on the other.
Yes, it was clear I couldn't stay here. So I didn't. I simply walked out the door. No one tried to stop me, no one seemed to care. The large wooden door closed behind me with a thud. The cold night air sent a chill throughout my body. I wish I brought a jacket. But how could I really have prepared for this kind of thing? How could I have known? With nothing else to do, nowhere else to go, I stuck my hands in my pockets, shrugged my shoulders trying to minimize my heat loss, and headed out into the night.
Proving Quantum Mechanics With Ponies
Sometimes, Good Things Happen After 2AM
Sometimes, Good Things Happen After 2AM
A walk, a walk to clear my head. So many emotions mixed and mingled up there. I reflected on the events I experienced a half hour before. The dead of night was a good time for thinking, there wasn't much else to do. I strolled out of the forest onto a lake front. The trees were the only other things doing cellular respiration in a mile radius. I figured this was the Whitetail lake, right in the midst of the forest correspondingly named. The full moon's reflection shifted very slightly as the calm, black waters slowly flowed about.
I walked for a little while longer, until I came up on a small dock jutting out three or four meters over the relatively still waters.
As good a place as any to contemplate ones inner-self I suppose, I walked to the edge and sat down gazing out at the two heavens, one real and one fabricated. I had mindlessly picked up rocks during the forty minute walk and had stored them in my pockets. Seeing no better use for them at the dock, I began throwing them into the lake and watching the effect they had on the celestial bodies.
Plop. The rocks were hard to grip, given my hands were frozen solid. The first one slipped and landed only a meter or two out from the dock into the water. Back home it was never this cold, and there wasn't a lake either. This was the first time I was doing this sort of thing. Probably won't be the last either, accepting the irrefutable truth that there's no way home.
Plop. This one had gone farther, I had slightly adjusted for the delay in muscle reaction and the decreased static friction between a cold hand verses one of body temperature. Maybe I'm not supposed to return, maybe this is some kind of punishment by the universe. Forced to live here and screw everything up.
Plop. This one farther still.
"Screw everything up is right," I said speaking aloud, "Now I can't even talk to the one girl who has the potential to understand me. Screwed that up too, Theo. Stupid." I was about to throw another rock, my third to last, when I heard something.
It was easy to pick out because it was the only noise around besides cricket chirps and other insect sounds. A faint wooden creak. Like a stair underweight. My mind went on the alert, pulling me from my self-induced negative reflection. I turned slowly, half of me wanted to know what was out here with me, and the other half didn't, and still, a tiny piece of me wished it to be Twilight.
In the shadow of a nearby tree stood a darker figure. I slowly raised myself and turned towards the shape, in part to make myself look more intimidating and in part to give me the chance to run whenever I pleased. The whole situation was eerie and unnerving, but the figure soon took one step forward, bring it's forehoof, then face, into the silver light of the moon.
Luna.
The Princess of The Night stared at me for a while, sizing me up before bringing the rest of her body out of the shadows. Her beautiful starry-night mane flowed freely, even in the still night air. She stopped her strides about two meters before me, but kept starring, almost a puzzled look. Before I could open my mouth, she started the conversation.
"So what they say is true, we have a human among us," I didn't know what she meant by this. "News travels fast, here in Equestria. The speed of a pegasus in flight to be exact. Much faster than thine…I mean, ‘your’…silly running messengers," she said with an air of superiority. Now I was really lost.
"How do you know about humans?" I asked.
"I guess thou, ‘you’, couldn't know, what with the human's mortal qualities. Our worlds were linked once, a long, long time ago. Although it doesn't seem too long for me, I was in a sort of...stasis, locked up."
"We were...linked? And what’s with the medieval speak?"
"After being imprisoned for so long, it seems We-‘I’ have fallen behind in my colloquialisms and am trying to correct my speech. As to your first question, yes, and it appears as if that link has reopened."
It was beginning to make sense. An Einstein-Rosen bridge, or bridges, in the past, had connected this time and space to my earth's time and space. That was the machine's purpose. Well, it worked. I was about to start lamenting my old life when something Luna had said finally registered in my mind.
"News travels faster in our world now," I said with a small sneer.
"What? No, it cannot be," she said stomping her hoof and with an honest scowl, "We have always been faster. How is it that humans beat pegasi?" It was funny how serious she was taking this trivial fact. I guess there had been a dispute thousands of years ago that the ponies proudly won.
"It may take you days to deliver a message to the other side of Equestria where humans can do the job in mere seconds." I said with a smile.
"Impossible! I do not believe thou. Even the thousand years our civilizations were separate would not give thou the time to beat us." She looked genuinely pissed now, like she would strike me with some unpleasant spell if I said one more word about it. Not wanting to die in a universe other than my own, I took it as a sign to stop teasing her.
"Well, whatever, Luna. All I wan-"
"How do you know my name? Did Twilight and her friends explain everything about our world to you?" She asked rather quickly and accusingly.
"Actually, I already knew that, before I came here." I grinned sheepishly. For the second time today I explained the My Little Pony story to a pony of the show. It was quite strange.
"And this... TV show, it's made for little girls?"
"Yes," I said rolling my eyes.
"But you, a young man, and many other older men, watch it?" She asked with a confused look as she rubbed her chin with a forehoof.
"Yes, yes, we're all very strange, but that's not the point," I said hurriedly, "The point is: this link, the connection between our worlds, has been reinstated for some time now, but I'm the first thing to show up in Equestria from my world."
"As far as we know." The way she said it sent chills down my spine. Or maybe that was the cold air finally getting to me.
"You think there could be more humans here?" I asked, but already knew the answer.
"Equestria is a big place, and we don't have the liberty of your fake instantaneous news networks," she said with a twinkle in her eye, "No, we're stuck with the old, reliable system of pegasi. If anything were to happen on the other side of the kingdom, we wouldn't know about it for at least three days." This revelation induced two distinct, and rather conflicting, feelings. On one hand, another human might be good company, we'd share more things in common than me and some ponies; but on the other hand, I would never wish someone to be dragged from their home and family just so I could have someone to talk to. I mauled this over for some time before Luna spoke up:
"You seem troubled, care to say why?"
"Well..." I began, but it was kind of weird to talk about my life before yesterday to somepony I just met in the Forrest, in the middle of the night. Maybe that's exactly what I need right now, I though, a little vent session. So, I continued. "...I've never really been gone from my home like this before. Sure I've slept over at people’s houses, but that was in the same city as my parents’ house. I've rarely been out of town, not once out of state. This was such a big change in so little time and I'm having a hard time coming to terms with it." Once finished with my little sob story, I turned and sat on the dock with my legs hanging over the side, feet just centimeters from the smooth black glass below. I stared at the reflection of the stars and thought.
"From what I remember of humans, they weren't so different from ponies," She said moving closer. She sat down next to me and dangled a foreleg over the mirrored night sky, "No one would expect you to be able to give up your home in the mere second it took you to arrive here. It will take time to reconcile your thoughts and accept this as your new home. But it is an acceptance that must be made, if you are ever to be happy," she said staring at the other end of the lake, I followed her gaze. Even though I couldn't see the opposite shore, I knew it had to be there. She then turned to me with a smile and said, "Of all ponies, I should know a lot about captivity and a change of scenery."
She said it with a smile but her eyes were sad, mixed with regret or anger, I couldn't tell. I turned back to watch the moon and its twin grow closer to each other, ever so slowly. My eye lids felt heavy. It had been a rough day, sleep might be good. But there was one thing I still had to ask the nightly princess before catching some Z's.
"Luna, what could I do to...to...uh?"
"...help thyself survive?" she suggested.
"Yes, thank you, survive."
She moved her head slightly to the side so she could just see me out of the corner of her eye.
"I would suggest finding a friend."
"Is that what you did?"
"Me, no, there were no friends were I was, but every day I wished for somepony, anypony to talk to, even if I had nothing to talk about." This felt like a good answer, so I accepted it. "You must be tired, go to sleep now, and I will make sure your dreams are pleasant ones." she said dropping her voice to a whisper. I didn't need to be told twice, a simply slouched against her and she spread a wing to place over me. It was warm and cozy. The last thing I could say before sinking into my dreaming was, "Thank you, Luna." She mumbled something, I assume a 'you're welcome', but I don't know for sure.
******
I don’t remember the dream. Time has washed my memory of it. I only remember shattered parts: the stars, little sparks of light. As well as the feeling I felt when I woke up: a warm, snugness, despite lying under a tree in the cool morning air. I stood up to stretch. Luna was long gone; the sun peaked over the easterly mountains. It looked like it was going to be a great day in Equestria, funny how that works.
The recollection of our talk the night before reminded me of a task I had assigned myself the moment the words were spoken. And now I was prepared to do whatever it took to accomplish it. Collecting and psyching myself, I headed off at a brisk pace in the direction I hopped was Ponyville. I stopped only a moment to pick a violet flower, I had a plan for it. It will be a great day today.
Proving Quantum Mechanics With Ponies
The Walk of Shame
The town seemed dead after the night before. Only half the amount of ponies roamed the streets that day than the previous. And more than a handful did so begrudgingly, with their heads hanging low. The walk of shame. I recalled the idea proposed in my favorite show back in my old life. I kept walking; I couldn't afford to dwell in my previous life if I wished to begin this one. I exited the forest from my observing post in the woods and made my way across the town to the tallest tree there. While walking through the main square, most of the small amount of ponies who were out shot disapproving looks my way. I guess the news of Twilight's and my fight spread quickly during this post-party stupor (actually it's more probable that the information exchanged hooves during the party, but why does it matter when everypony decide I was a jerk?) With each passing death stare I became more and more disgruntled. These ponies meant as much to me as any stranger but there disapproval was still damaging to me. I wasn't quite sure why, why should I care? Despite the many eyes that were watching me with hate, burning holes in my head, and with my limited knowledge of the developmental plan of Ponyville, I still managed to make it to the library in one piece. But there was a stark difference between this library and the library of the night before: there was a sad air about the leaves of the branches and somepony had cast a magical force field to, undoubtedly, keep me out. Of course I didn't know about the force field until I was lying on my back with the taste of metal in my mouth. (Metal, why do they taste like metal?)
Now I was trapped. Funny how you can be trapped on the outside of a force field, but with that on one side and an endless parade of stink-eyes from passer-bys, I truly was caged.
I put one hand against the magical barricade and eased my way down. I sat on the ground and looking at the roaming ponies, they're jagged looks pierced to my heart like a cool knife. Avoiding as many of them as I could, I looked out past the city limits to the countryside. The farther and farther you went, the more and more you could see beyond straw houses and dirt roads.
It seemed like miles and miles the untamed country side would weave its way through the land, shaping the rivers and turning into forests at the bases of distant mountains. You could get lost looking out there. It was plain land, nothing special. But therein lies the sacredness. Back on earth there was no more plain land. It's all been built on or farmed or desecrated. The majesties are only what stand now.
It took me a second to realize but some on was calling my name, not soothingly like when someone’s trying to wake you from a pleasant dream. It was a harsh, stern tone, like the kind your mother uses.
I turned to see who it was, but it could only be one pony seeing as it came from behind me, from insider’s force field.
And there was Twilight. She was standing on her balcony with a mussed-up mane and a scowl to complete the does-it-look-like-I-care? look. I stood up.
"I'm sorry Twilight, I'm really, really sorry," I started into my soliloquy with, "I know I should have told you everything from the beginning, and especially you because...you're my best chance at getting back home."
She stayed staring at me for a bit, not saying a word. "Look, I'm okay with the balcony cliché but can we just talk inside? I'd...we'd both be more comfortable," I said trying to make the words sound as appealing as possible.
She looked out at the passing ponies that wanted me dead then back at me. She gave one word of recognition before spinning around, sticking her nose in the air and leaving the balcony back to her room: "fine."
That was it, my second chance. The magical barrier glowed deep purple then disintegrated in front of my eyes. There was a noise from the door like a key in a lock, or more specifically, the lock itself turning. I took it as my invitation inside and slipped in finally out of sight of the judgmental street ponies.
Once inside I heard the sound of wood creaking, and saw Twilight entering the main room from the steps. Now that I could see her closer she looked worse. Not only was her mane in disarray, but her eyes were bloodshot and her coat was matted. It looked like she hadn't attempted to appear presentable today, but worse; it looked like she didn't care.
She stopped at the bottom of the steps still glaring at me with the same scowl. Then she did something unexpected: she started to tear up.
"What's--" She was on me before I could finish my thought. She had run over and was now resting her forelegs on my shoulders in a pony sort of hug. She sat there soaking the shoulder of my dirty tee-shirt for almost a minute while I awkwardly tried to wrap my mind around what exactly was occurring. She pulled away and dropped back to the floor and whipped each eye with its respective hoof in turn. After this she stared at me and her expression told me my face must have looked really stupid.
I cleared my throat and threw out the extremely intelligent remark of: "whagh?" She looked at me a little longer. Then began to explain.
"After some consideration, eight hours to be exact," she said referring to the fact that her thinking kept her up last night, "I came to the conclusion that I may have over reacted a little when you told me the truth--"
"A little?!" I blurted, "Sorry...continue..."
She did, "And I figured it was a little rude of me kick you out for such a small thing."
"Well I really should have told you from the start; it wasn't in my right to withhold crucial information like that."
"And then the rest of the night I had nightmares about what could happen to you out there, so I stayed up and waited for you to return," she finished looking up at me with her eyes as deep and as dark as the lake I was throwing pebbles into the night before, but so bright too.
"Yes, well, sorry to give you a scare, but I'm alright now," I lifted my arms to show her that I wasn't damaged, "but I could use a shower if that's not a problem."
"Oh sure, that's fine! I was just about to make some coffee, would you like some?" she asked.
"Yeah sure, thank you." I said and slipped away up the stairs as she trotted towards the kitchen.
See , I thought as I closed the bathroom door, piece of cake!
Proving Quantum Mechanics With Ponies
The Irregularity of Time
After getting out of the shower, I brushed off my clothes and redressed in them. After all, they were all I had to wear. I timidly drank the coffee twilight gave me, taking small amounts in every swallow. She talked ferociously as I stared at her from the other end of the couch, nodding and replying with a short "yeah" when needed. She went on for an hour or so, even with my small sips the drink didn't even last halfway through.
Venturing on, she touched on topics like how late the party went to, statistical data on the refilling of the punch bold, psychoanalysis of the general atmosphere of the party and its change overtime. These topics were trivial to me, but I listened because I wanted to. And it was polite. And it got interesting when we got around to Applejack's sleep cycles. By the end of it Twilight looked even more tired than when I first saw her up close.
"Well that's all of the essential information about the party after you left," she said with a yawn to accentuate the point that she was done.
"Well that was interesting to know," I said strictly out of politeness.
"And you already know what I was doing all night."
"Yes, I have a fair idea." We stared at each other for a minute, almost smiling.
"Welp, I'll be catching up on some much needed rest now, I'll see you in a little bit," she said finally getting up from her seat on the couch.
"I'll be here when you get back," I said in a joyful tone. She then proceeded to smile as she walked upstairs with that familiar sway in her hips. I heard the door close and stretched myself out on the couch. The sun was shining in the ground-floor windows, heating and providing a lovely natural lighting. It smelled of old books and disinfectant still, a home-like smell. It wasn't the smell of my home, but it was a fantastic substitute.
The light from the most westerly facing window made a bright patch directly beneath it. It must have been a little after noon. I placed my hands behind my head and tried to think about what was really going on here, about a way out. But the more I thought, the more tired I became. My eyelids became heavy and I decided a nap would do me a lot of good. So that's exactly what I did.
*****
The next couple of weeks went by rapidly. Twilight and I became close roommates and Spike was alright with having me around too. We did fun things around Ponyville such as apple picking, going to see plays by the Ponyville Preforming Arts Group and average everyday things (as average as they come in a town full of miniature equines). There wasn't a dull day in the entire month and a half that followed the night of the party. Even on the days when it rained we made the best of it inside by reading books and discussing their literary merit. The others of the mane six were always visiting and always brought a good time with them. Altogether, those weeks were quite possibly the best time of my entire life.
Then it all ended, but were not quite there yet, there is still more filler before we get to that action sequence, so might as well enjoy it for the time being.
These weeks were not just me running around, doing what I pleased, there was a mission to be accomplished that I had fixed myself upon after waking up from that nap: to recover or recreate the mystery machine that dropped me here in the first place. (Hopefully just recover because recreating was just downright impossible.)
I didn't want the machine so I could go back home, well, in the beginning I did, but after the first month I wasn't so sure. My home was becoming of less and less significance to me, but it seemed like there were too many loose ends back home that needed to be tied, or cut away. And if it was in my power to do so, I felt obligated to try, but nothing beyond that.
For a specific amount of the day I would go around and ask ponies about the object. It wasn't exactly an efficient plan, but it was really all I had, and for the first couple of weeks there were no developments. Not until after the 17th day of looking did I finally find something.
One of the town's ponies, Bon Bon, had seen a strange shooting star traveling north-west during the same day I appeared. I thanked her and immediately attempted to find it, but without luck. It took another six days of searching before my next stroke of luck. That’s when I finally found the first piece of the puzzle: a portion of the mystery machine. Twilight and I discussed the function and design of it as the half disintegrate hunk of metal sat on her counter top.
"So it takes matter from a specific region of space and interchanges it with another region? That's an amazing discovery!" Twilight said in her usual enthusiastic scientific voice.
"It is quite a find but the really challenge will be decoding how it works and then repairing it," I said unamused, "Quite literally, we understand absolutely nothing about the physical sciences behind the functions of the machine and it could be like trying to imagine the fourth-dimension, which is strictly incomprehensible."
"Oh, come on, Theo. It'll be difficult but not impossible; nothing’s impossible," she said attempting to cheer me up and trying to look into my eyes which I kept fixed on the scrap of unknown metal resting on the table. "Any devout follower of quantum mechanics knows that nothing is impossible!" She smiled having proven a point, and she had proven a big one.
I spent the next week or so finding any other pieces hidden in the grassy meadows just beyond Ponyville. Altogether I came into possession of four of them; four twisted, burnt, banged up pieces of a machine that was almost beyond repair and I hadn't the blue-prints to fix it. This is going to be a fun little challenge , I thought.
Now came the long nights of work. Twilight and I painstakingly took apart the machine, keeping an accurate catalog of everything’s position. The purple pony’s magic was quite useful for taking things out and placing them in their correct pile. We found all kinds of electrical components: wires, capacitors, inductors, resisters, PNP-semiconductors and a single generator near the center of the housing that didn't appear to have a power source. Although all of these parts were identifiable, they didn't obey classical laws of electrical circuits. But after much data gathering, we were able to define new time and velocity dependent functions that accurately predicted the reactance of the components. Although we were able to define these functions, we couldn't for our lives tell anyone what they meant. And once we were finished assembling all of the pieces, we discovered that whatever was at the center, was still missing. It accounted for one sixth of the volume of the machine and it wasn't more electrical circuitry that had just fallen out, the generator was connected to a spherical housing that encased the free space at the center and looked like it would have drawn the power from whatever belonged inside.
These developments took about two weeks. Nonstop work until sleep overpowered us, which usually occurred around three or four in the morning. But by the end of these two weeks we still had no idea what could have belonged at the center.
"It has to be some kind of energy source, and judging the gravity of what the machine actually does, it should be quite a large energy source," I said pacing and not caring enough to laugh at my unintentional pun. (We had determined that the machine manipulates gravity fields in order to transport the matter around it across space and time)
"Such amounts of energy should not even be possible," Twilight interjected. And she was correct, the task we were trying to accomplish was comparable to traveling faster than the speed of light, which requires an infinite amount of energy and then infinite more if you want to go faster. If you listen to the equations, they’ll tell you the same story.
"But the creator of this machine was able to bypass that somehow, somehow he cheated," I said still pacing, felling like I was so close to cracking it. In fact, Twilight was a little bit closer than I.
"Well," she said jokingly, "the only way to get that much energy would be to collect it from all of the points in a battery’s time line."
"Yeah, wouldn't that be an easy save," I said with a little chuckle. I stopped mid-stride and turned on my back foot. "Wait," I said quizzically, "that could work!" She looked at me like I was joking. "Think about it, were talking about trans-dimensional travel here, what’s a little temporal shift compared to that?" She looked at me more seriously now.
"So you want to take all of the energy from a battery at all of the points in time it has ever existed?" she asked unsure.
"Yes! Well, no, not a battery, there’s no way the machine can facilitate a significant time event like that. Whatever energy source we use it has to be inherently interactive with its own timeline." I said excitedly. This was it! The only solution! I thought. But then it hit me, "Great, another impossible substance to obtain." That ruined everything; it was the only solution but we don’t even if that substance exists.
"Well," Twilight cut through my thoughts, "it’s possible that…I may own something similar to that." I looked at her to see if she was kidding. She looked more serious than ever. "Just…wait here," She said a little uneasy.
I waited on the couch until she came back. I checked the clock, 2:30 AM. The stars shown bright through Twilight’s windows and I could see the moon in the western sky, still far from the horizon. It was almost full, just a sliver remained unlit. When I had left home the moon had been full, so if this and my moon were in sync, it should have been two months exactly the next day. I couldn't even imagine what had happened in the two months I was gone. But it didn’t really matter, because this world is so much more interesting than my old one, and after having two months to think, I decided that I would go back only to inform people of my leaving, and then I would be back in Equestria to live my life with the ponies I had grown to love, and one special pony I planned on spending the rest of my life with. You, the reader, are probably thinking I’m crazy for believing that after two months of spending time with someone (or somepony) I could be sure I wanted to spend the rest of my life with them. In reality, it was probably a mixture of teenage hormones, the shock of waking up in a strange new world and meeting someone I could finally identify with that lead me to this conclusion, but to this day I don’t regret it. Even if it caused a life of heartbreak.
Twilight came back into the room as I was deep in thought. She moved quietly so as to make a dramatic entrance. She levitated what she had brought back with her and placed it directly in the space in front of my head with amazing speed and accuracy. As it stopped just before slamming into me she said in a loud voice, “Here it is!” Needless to say this startled me, which is exactly what Twilight had wanted. She giggled as I composed myself and grabbed the box from her magic.
I tried to grab it and asked, "What is-" before she quickly pulled it away from me.
"We can’t open it, not now!" she said forcefully. I looked at here with a raised eyebrow.
"What is it? A Christmas present?" I asked jokingly. She stared back seriously.
"No, inside this box is a Firmagus crystal."
"What’s a-"
"I was getting there if you let me finish."
"Okay, continue."
She took a deep breath and did, "The Firmagus crystal is an extremely rare magical object. It’s magical because that’s what it’s actually composed of, it’s literally solid magic. They form when a unicorn dies and is buried underground. As the body decays, residual magic is expelled from the flesh and pressurized, forming the crystal. The, uh, intentional production of these crystals for monetary gain was declared illegal under Princess Celestia’s rule. But the one in here was created from one of my ancestors and has been in my family since before Celestia’s rule. Now the reason it must remain in the case is because the crystal releases energy in the form of electromagnetic radiation. If it’s placed in an open area, the crystal converts it’s mass into energy and eventually completely becomes light. If left in a small enclosed space, the energy has nowhere to go and condenses back onto the crystal. There is one more effect of the crystal, because it is such a high concentration in one region of space it has been known to have weird effects on time. People have reported missing whole years because they held on for too long. This one was a possession of my great-great-grandmare, she had it made to commemorate her mother. A great way to preserve her, I think, it’s what I prefer anyway."
Once Twilight had finished her informative anecdote, I sat back on the couch and absorbed this new development.
"Wow, Twilight, this is exactly what we needed, what I needed. But I can’t take it. It’s obviously very important to you, being in your family for so long."
"No, it’s okay; I want you to have it. I couldn't use it for anything anyways."
"Are you sure Twilight, this is a big deal."
She sighed, "Yes, I’m sure." I stared at her for a second. Then I lunged at her from across the couch and held her in a hug. It was so selfless of her to do this for me just so I could tell my parents goodbye. We stayed like that for a little bit, just sitting there and hugging. Then I thought of an idea.
"May I perform an experiment on the Firmagus? How long does it take to fully convert to energy?"
"Yeah, it’ll take about 30 minutes to fully decay into energy. What will you be testing?"
"I’ll show you what I’ll be testing." I grabbed a pen from my pocket and uncapped it. Then I set the Firmagus case on the table and held the cap about a meter above the case.
"Can you open the case? It’ll only be for a couple of seconds?" She did so and just as she did a purple glow filled the room. The Firmagus was the most beautiful think I had seen in my life, it glowed a soft pink-violet. Just as the case was opened, an identical looking pen cap to the one I was holding shot out of the case and landed on the rug a couple of meters away. Twilight and I looked at it, then at each other as I dropped the pen cap I was holding. It accelerated towards the opening in the case and just before it entered, it disappeared into the past. Twilight shut the case and stood on all fours. She used her magic to levitate the cap to my open hand and I fitted it onto the pen, it was the same. The test was a success. I hugged Twilight one last time before she headed upstairs to her bed. I thanked her another three times before she disappeared onto the second floor. Then I lay down on the couch, where I had been crashing for the past two months. Tomorrow’s going to be quite a big day, I thought before drifting off to sleep.
Proving Quantum Mechanics With Ponies
I Fall to My Death
The next morning, I got up early, excited for the day's events. The air in the house-tree was quite cool at six so I decided to get dressed to stay warm. Funny, after sleeping on the couch for the past two months, not once did Twilight see me in my sleeping wear, or rather the lack thereof.
I pondered this as I poured a cup of grass-coffee. Maybe she has some spell that tells her when there's an impending awkward situation she should avoid. Just then Twilight walked in, rubbing her right eye with the respective hoof. Thinking about my clothes then quickly turned to thinking about her clothes, or again the lack thereof.
"Good morning, Theo!" she said delightfully, "sleep well?"
I shook my head to clear my thoughts, "Yeah, it was sound. No dreams though. You?"
"Yep, sound without dreams. Same here. Just like always." she poured herself a cup of grass-coffee using her magic and then jumped up on the counter and sat on her haunches with her back legs dangling off the edge. She held her coffee cup with the bottom of her hoof. She took sips every half-minute or so, tilting it slightly to get just the amount she wanted. To this day I still had not seen anything so weird. What she did was just so...human. I stared at her with my eyebrow raised, then decided to join her. I walked over to the counter and sat next to her. (No need for a jump, the counter was already lower than my waist.) We sat there and sipped at our coffee while staring at the other kitchen wall.
I tried to distract myself with things on the other side of the room: the cupboards that didn’t quite close all of the way, the slightly uneven counter tops, the faucet that dripped about every half-minute. These were the tell-tale signs of the earth pony heritage behind Ponyville. If unicorns had crafted the furniture, the surfaces would have been flat on an atomic scale and fit perfectly together. Although this was an amusing tangent, my mind came quickly back to the unicorn sitting beside me. I stole a glance from the corner of my eye: she looked straight ahead at nothing in particular, deep in thought. I guess I attracted more attention than I had hoped because her eyes darted to me and then her head followed suit. Her face now gave a quizzical impression as she looked at me.
“Yeah, I know my mane looks bad, I’ll brush it before we leave, I promise,” she said, assuming that was why I staring at her.
“Oh, no, it looks fine,” I replied weakly, “And where would we be going?”
“The test site of course,” she said trying to be excited but I guess the coffee hadn't woken her up yet.
“Why do we have to go out for that? What’s wrong with the basement?” I asked. My plan so far was to run an extensive test on the machine and the Firmagus examining its Einstein-Rosen Bridge capabilities and then extrapolate a way to sustain the portal for long periods of time. It seemed, despite keeping this plan to myself, Twilight had formulated a similar scientific test independently but had imagined it occurring in a different place than I had.
“Well, I figured if we are going to be tests with large amounts of energy and temporal disturbances, we should probably do it far away from civilization,” Twilight replied with another small sip from her cup.
I thought back into human history and replayed the footage of the first detonation of the atomic bomb. I recalled Oppenheimer’s famous allusion, giving new meaning to the old Vedic texts. They built a city in the middle of nowhere, then traveled three hundred miles away from that city in order to detonate the result of their hard work.
And our test is a lot more dangerous than the atomic bomb, I thought offhandedly. Then it hit me, Twilight did have a point about the severity of this experiment. She didn't just have a point, she was more right than she knew, than I knew. If done incorrectly or let out of control, it could have drastic repercussions for the entire world of Equestria as well as every other world out there. We were messing with the fabric of space-time here, the stuff beyond our comprehension. Literally, it’s impossible to comprehend the four dimensions of space-time (or eleven purposed by “M Theory”). This was way beyond us, beyond anyone. The only chance I had to return to my home was also capable of destroying it forever…
Twilight pulled me back to the present when she screamed my name. I returned with a start. The world appeared before me again and I was back in Twilight’s kitchen but I wasn't holding my cup anymore. That was the strongest zone out I had ever had. The purple mare looked at me with wide eyes and a very concerned look. That was the first time I had seen Twilight scared. It’s a damn shame it wasn't the last.
“What happened to you?” she asked getting closer, “Are you okay? Can you hear me now? What were you thinking about?”
“I…uh…I don’t know. I guess the floodgates broke and it call came crashing down on me,” I said, “You are so right. This is an almost impossible task we have to do, the margin for error is almost non-existent and there is a huge risk factor involved. How can we pull it off?” I asked the question as I turned to her.
“I don’t know, but we just have to take every precaution and give it our best shot.”
I couldn't believe this. I knew she had been with me on this every step so far, but now that I understood exactly what it would take, what both I and her had to risk in order to pacify a home-sick individual, a single, worthless ant in the grand scheme of things, it seemed impossible that she would want to continue.
“It can’t be done. Twilight, it isn't worth trying, putting everyone and everypony at risk. And I mean everyone. Our entire reality could be destroyed, gone in a second. No! A microsecond! Bam! Everything!” I was shouting now, “It’s madness! It’s selfish,” I finished sitting down in a chair that was just a little bit too small for me.
Twilight just stared at me for a little. She wasn't so easy to capitulate. “Well, we know it’s possible. That should be at least a little reassuring.”
“How do we even know that?”
“Well you’re here, aren't you?”
I lifted my head to look at twilight. A calm look had replaced her previously fearful one. My eyes darted back and for between her solid, unwavering ones. “But why is it important that I get home. The needs of the many out way the needs of the one. You’re risking everything too. There’s nothing I could do for you, Why do you even what to help me?” She stared at me for just a little bit longer before giving her answer.
“Because, if I were all alone in a world so far and so distant form my own, I would want someone to risk everything to get me back home too.”
She was really committed. More than I was. I didn't understand.
“Now come on, we've got a long trip to the test site.” She set down a cup on the counter and left the room to get ready for where ever it was we were going. I hadn't even noticed she was levitating a cup when we were talking. I stood up and walked closer to it. It was mine. I must have dropped it when I zoned out and she caught it with her magic. I picked it up and dumped it out in the sink before exiting the kitchen to gather the essential materials for the test.
*****
We took the Friendship Express Railroad as far north as it would take us: to the doorstep of the Crystal Empire. Twilight made me stop off at Rarity’s boutique in order to purchase some clothes appropriate for the weather up there. I was now decked out it freshly sewn ski attire and had a tightly woven, extremely warm wool blanket to boot. Until we arrived, I had no idea where we were going; just that it would be cold. Once the train stopped for the last time I was a little confused.
“The Crystal Empire? More ponies live here than in Ponyville and Canterlot combined. Why would it be safer to experiment here?” I asked.
“It’s not. We’re not staying in the Crystal Empire,” she replied coolly. From there, we took a hot air balloon (yes, the one from the title sequence) as far west as we could get in a day. We traveled a total of twenty-four hours, the sun set thirteen hours into the trip. The stars were so beautiful when their only competition was the small, steady glow from the hot air balloon’s burner. The night air was extremely cold and Twilight’s coat wasn't long or thick enough to stand it alone. We shared the wool blanket on the floor of the balloon as we drifted with the wind. She held the blanket close to her body, tolling me the origin myths that went along with the constellations. I would respond with the human interpretation. It was the best night of my life.
The next day at noon we decided to land. We had discovered the perfect glacial valley that was miles wide in every direction. The canyon floor was almost flat and would be an ideal surface for the experiment. It was a miracle we found the valley of ice when we did because we had spent more than half of the fuel already and the cold air was getting harder and harder to combat with our small flame.
This was where we set up our makeshift machine near the center. The sun had reached its apex, about forty-five degrees south of directly overhead. It gave off a warmth you wouldn't expect to feel in such an ice covered landscape. It took about an hour to set up and test individual parts of the machine for an accurate response.
On the piece we discovered was responsible for power, we fixed a box made out of solar cells that would serve as the extractor of energy from the Firmagus crystal. Our plan was this: teleport the crystal into the power cell and wait for something to happen. If something went wrong, there wasn't much we could do to fix it with our limited knowledge. That is why we had come all this way. Maybe it would tear apart reality, maybe it wouldn't work at all. But Twilight was right (as she usually was) that I had to try.
The moment came when we had finished the preliminary testing and had assembled the machine. We stepped back a couple of meters. I held out the heirloom that had been in Twilight’s family for so many years. I still couldn’t believe she was willing to give it up for me. She looked at the box and gave a nod. Her horn lit up with a dazzling purple fire that leapt up and around the projection from her head. The light grew in intensity until I needed to shield my eyes. Then, it suddenly burst, and in a flash everything was back to normal but I box I held now weighed less. Twilight looked weary; transporting such a magically dense object must have taken a lot of energy. We both stared at each other for a second before turning in unison to observe the machine.
A low, constant growling was now being erupted form the metallic canister. The fissures that were left from our repairs began to glow a pink-violet. The machine was now visibly shaking at a quicker and quicker pace every second; the growling rose in pitch and intensity as well. The ice below the machine reflected the pink-violet light as the source became brighter than the sun. Twilight and I covered our ears and crouched facing the other way in order to dampen the sound and protect our eyes. Then, right when I thought I would lose it, go blind, burst my eardrums, there was an explosion. I was thrown twenty meters across the ice. I rolled for the last eight or so and sustained only minor injuries. My elbow had a two inch gash that became red and dripped quickly. I pushed myself to my feet with my mildly scraped palms.
Twilight had landed about twenty-five meters from me and was having more trouble getting up. I ran to help her. She had also sustained minor injuries but the initial energy drain didn't leave her much to stand up with. She slowly came to her feet. I was looking at her face, but she was transfixed by something else. Following her gaze, I looked over at the machine. I expected to see nothing. I thought the explosion was the catastrophic failure of the machine. I was wrong.
The machine was still there, but the stand we had erected for it no longer existed. The machine gave off a dull violet glow as it floated above the ground…well, I guess it wasn't really the ground anymore. Directly below the machine, there was a violet circle about a meter in diameter that swirled with the turbulence of a raging sea. The loose snow and ice around it was drawn close and fell in.
“That’s…that’s impossible…” I whispered.
“We did it. We did it, we actually did it!” Twilight sprang up and began laughing; she was full of excitement, forgetting about the scrapes and her tiredness. She looked at me and did something I never expected. She ran at me, full speed, and kissed me on the cheek.
When she pulled away, she was blushing. I gave a noise similar to a whale song. We stared at each other for a little longer; it would be the last time I got to look at her so intently. She looked cold in just her scarf and boots. They did go well with her eyes though, it was the first time I noticed her pay putting thought behind what she was wearing. Every time she breathed out I watched the cloud formed form the rapid condensation of the water molecules she exhaled. I felt her heart beat through my arms that I held around her back. I saw her mane spread in the wind with its pink and violet streaks in a perfect contrast with the rest of her black hair.
“Wind?” I said puzzled, “There wasn't wind before.” Then we heard it: the low growl had returned. We broke the embrace to look at the machine. It was shaking again and the snow was being pulled into the portal at almost twice the rate as before. Not only that, the portal had grown to more than one and a half meters in diameter and was visibly increasing at a greater and greater rate. We looked back at each other, and in our glance we made the decision together. We ran.
The hot air balloon was tied down a good seventy-five meters back to ensure its safety if anything were to happen. looks like we had the right idea, I thought. As fast as we could, we tore across the frozen earth towards the deflated balloon. Twilight hopped in and began to warm the burner up. It would take a while for the balloon to fill with enough hot air to get off the ground. I set myself upon the tethers that secured it to the ice. My frozen fingers fumbled with the knots. I chanced a glance at the augmenting portal. It now covered a fourth of the distance to the balloon. I tried to work faster but the large ropes were hard to untie when they were caked in frost and moving faster impeded the process. Eventually I got the three tethers undone and threw them into the basket. The portal was now two thirds of the way to us which means it was about a hundred meters in diameter and increasing every second. I jumped into the basket; the burner was on full but the balloon still had a little ways to go. Twilight looked nervously back and forth between the expanding portal, the fuel gage and the inflating balloon.
“Is there any way to use your magic to speed this up?” I shouted above the now roaring wind.
“I could try!” she yelled back. Firmly planting her hooves on the ground, her horn lit again with its dazzling flame. An intense beam of pink light shot at the burner and the flame increased three times its height as well as became the color of Twilight’s magic. The balloon inflated fully in no time and we left the ground seconds after. The wind being generated by the huge interstellar hole began spiraling around it and took us along for the ride, moving us around the outside the portal in a wide arc.
“If we get enough height, we can use the wind to sling shot us over the ridge and out of the Einstein-Rosen Bridge’s range!” I screamed over the wind.
“Perfect idea!” Twilight hollered back. She gave the burner all she had, the flame now as high as it would go, lifted us a little higher, but our ascent slowed, then began to reverse.
“What’s happening?” I asked holding onto the basket, bracing myself.
“I don’t know! We should be rising still!” she said, sweating form the strain on her mind and body. I thought to myself for a couple seconds.
“Crap!” I said.
“What?!” she asked looking at me concerned.
“It’s the portal, it has so much energy. It’s generating its own gravity field. And the bigger it gets, the more force it takes to get away from it.” I explained. The one time when I wish Einstein was wrong.
“So what do we do now?!” She asked, “The canyon wall is coming up fast!” She was right, the wind was pushing us faster and faster towards one of the glacier ridges that guarded the valley.
“We’ll have to go around again!” I told her, “The wind should swing us back.”
“Then what? We can’t get any higher, and the portal will just keep pulling us down!” Her voice was laced with fear.
“I don’t know…” I trailed off into thought. The glacier ahead of us slowed its approach as the circular wind converted our forward momentum to a sideways one. We came within centimeters of hitting the icy cliff. Just then we heard a bone rattling crack, like a thunder clap, that almost shook our balloon from the sky. Both Twilight and I jumped; I was shaken from my thoughts. It was a large slab of ice that had broken off of the canyon wall and fell into the portal. We watched it disappear into the swirling pink void, gone as soon as it passed through the event horizon. This gave me an idea.
“I've got” We were leaning over the basket to observe the ice fall in. She raised her head to look at me. Confusion was all I could see in her eyes.
“Got what?”
“A solution.” she looked even more confused, and just a bit scared.
“What is it?” she asked.
“Well, the machine opens a wormhole from one universe to another, but this wormhole can only be sustained from the universe it’s opened from; remove the machine form that universe and the wormhole closes.”
“Yeah, but how are we supposed to take the machine out of this universe?” All I did was look at her and point down. “Oh.” She replied, “Then how do we get close enough to push it in?” For my response I made a face. I don’t know exactly what it looked like, but from how Twilight appeared after she saw it, I guess it was a very sad expression. She reworded her question out of fear, “Theo, what are you thinking of doing?”
I looked down, at her hooves, “I’m going to jump and grab it on the way down. It’s the only way to ensure the machine makes it through.”
When I lifted up my head, for the second and last time, I saw her genuinely scared look. It was so full of uncertainty, fear and concern it was unbearable to look at. I lowered my head again.
“You can’t do-”
“I have to,” I interrupted.
“No, no, nononono, there has to be something else, some other way.”
“This is the only way to save your world,” I said sternly looking at her face. She turned away.
“It can’t be. There has-”
“There is no other way!” I raised my voice just a little. She looked back at me with misty eyes. The winds had carried us in a spiral towards the center. In just a few minutes, we’d be directly over the still levitating machine, the optimal time to ensure I take it with me. The portal was still growing and we were still descending slowly due to the growing gravity field. Twilight and I looked at each other for a couple of more seconds as the glacier walls began to crumble under the gravitational strain. Her mane was swept to one side by the wind. Her coat was a medium of turbulent waves, like the kind you see in fields of grain. Tears began to stream from her eyes, creating dark purple lines in the short fur on her snout. Only another minute now.
“I bet you've never had to say good bye like this before,” I said in a light tone, trying to make her tears stop. She just got closer and hugged me. I fought back the waterworks myself. She pulled away; I placed my hands on her cheeks and tried to wipe away the deep purple lines. She rested a hoof on my arm, closed her eyes and leaned her head into my left hand. I massaged her cheek. Half a minute.
“Here, you’ll need these more than I will,” I said pulling off my ski jacket and pants. Underneath, I wore the same clothes I had been for two months, “For the return trip.” I tried to smile as I handed them to her. I draped the jacket over her shoulders. It complimented her purple scarf and boots. I turned around to see where the machine was. Just about fifteen seconds.
“Theo?”
I turned back.
Twilight was standing on her rear legs. She was almost as tall as me when she did this. Resting her fore hooves on my shoulders, she surprised me one last time. She came close and kissed me. A full on kiss. I never thought I would ever want a kiss from a horse so badly. She pulled away blushing. “Thank you.”
“No,” I said looking her in her dinner plate sized eyes, those amaranthine treasures, “Thank you.”
And with that, I turned, lifted myself to the brim of the basket, and jumped.
The whole way down I was smiling. I had left at the ideal time. My hands connected on the solar cell box Twilight and I had built and just to the left of the blunt tip at the top of the machine. My palms stung a little from the impact, but I didn't give it any thought. The machine and I passed through the portal microseconds later.
And my life ended.
Proving Quantum Mechanics With Ponies
Full Circle
“Mr. Dedrick, do you have the answer?”
I had the sensation of falling, but that cut away to sitting in a chair in my high school calculus class. It was like waking up from a dream you had been falling in right before hitting the ground. But I was falling. I was somewhere else, I thought. My mind pulled the parts together. Twilight. How could I have forgotten? Moving from one universe to another had been more disorienting the second time around.
“We’re waiting Mr. Dedrick.”
I finally considered where I was. My mind quickly switched to the task at hand. I looked passed my incipit calculus teacher to see the problem: a simple derivative.
“Negative X divided by Y,” I answered coolly.
“Correct Mr. Dedrick, it seems you were with us after all.”
My teacher bantered on about the problem as I sat interpreting the situation in my seat. Apparently nobody saw me suddenly join drop in to join class, or maybe everyone was asleep. I looked around to entertain the idea but it too far-fetched. I thought for the remainder of the day on this. No one acted that I had left for two months, everyone was the same. The dates printed on whiteboards told me it was the day after I left. All of the signs told me it was impossible for me to have left. The memories I had of the past two months began to grow hazy in my mind, like a dream you forget soon after waking up. Was that it? Was it a dream? All of the evidence pointed toward that conclusion. I was missing the thing that would have told me otherwise: the machine. I had passed through the portal holding it out in front of me. It should have been transported with me, but it was nowhere to be found. I have never seen or heard of it since.
I walked home thinking I had imagined it all, that it was all made up. I stopped before my door and reached for the handle. Entranced in my thoughts, I forgot the most important thing when dealing with my front door. Beware sun baked knobs. When I had been rethinking my life that day at school, my doorknob sat in the sun and absorbed its heat like metal tends to do. You can imagine what happened next. I touched the handle, and my nerve endings went crazy. I immediately pulled back and began shaking my hand furiously trying to cool it off. After a few short seconds of calming down, I checked for damage. I was not burned, but there was something more interesting on the palm of my hand. Scrapes and scratches. Healed over, but still there. It clicked in my mind. I checked my elbow: a half-scabbed gash, about an inch or two long.
The rest of what I saw that day would solidify in my mind what had really happened to me. News stories about miraculous pieces of ice that had floated to the tropics from the poles without melting. This happened three days ago. A meteor shower that will occur in a week given a chunk of space ice’s trajectory, and, to everyone’s confusion, had been overlooked by scientists. It was proof enough for me.
So in the end maybe it was a boredom induced fantasy or maybe for once something great and fantastical happened in life. I don’t care which actually occurred, but I know which one I will still believe on my deathbed. And who’s to say what’s possible? That’s the great thing about life: it’s not a microwaveable macaroni and cheese meal. Sometimes, when you open the cover, you get something a little bit different.
Proving Quantum Mechanics With Ponies
Epilogue: A Letter to the Princess
Epilogue: A Letter to the Princess
Dear Princess Celestia,
When I received your last letter I was confused beyond anything you had sent me before. I had no idea it would be, or even could be, completed. But now, even as I write this letter tonight, I see the pain losing somepony can bring one, but also the immense joy one feels when loving somepony. And, if I wanted to or not, over the course of three months, I completed the two part assignment you had given me.
In response to part A:
About four months ago a strange being appeared in town by means of some alien technology neither he nor I knew how to control. So, in the absence of knowledge, we filled each other with our own. We became good friends during the three months I knew him, learning about one another and sharing information about our separate worlds. I truly grew to love him, but I will never know if he reciprocated the feeling.
In response to part B:
You said the parts did not have to be done together but, as luck would have it, they were. We worked at reassembling the machine that brought him here. Eventually, we completed it, but upon testing the stability of the “Einstein-Rosen bridge”—that was his name for it—a malfunction in the system created a total event collapse. In order to save our world and his, he sacrificed himself. That machine was both blessed and cursed. I feel the hole in my chest, my lungs, my heart that can’t be mended but with time. It’s a pervasive pain. But I can, and will stand it as long as I still have the memory of him.
I refuse to believe that he is dead; I just know he is never coming back.
—Your faithful student
T.S.
