Serious Sam - My Little Encounter

Luna and Twilight burst into the throne room. Luna’s miniguns were smoking, while Twilight took off a gnaar’s eyeball that was stuck to her horn. The throne room was empty, except for Celestia. She was huddled up in front of her throne, inside a magical sphere, not unlike the one discord was trapped inside. She was writhing in pain, as her mane switched between her usual coloured mane and blazing fire.

“Sister!” Luna shouted and ran towards Celestia.

“Don’t come any closer!” She yelled at her.

“I can’t let you become Mental’s slave too!” Luna said and looked at the pylons casting the sphere around Celestia. She tried to destroy them with her guns, but it was fruitless.

“It’s all over!” Celestia exclaimed as tears were running down her face.

“No it’s not!” Luna shouted. “I was just saved from Mental’s clutches, we can save you too!”

“Equestria is doomed!” Celestia just cried.

“No,” said Twilight, “I’m here, Luna’s here and we’ve got help from the time-lock. We saved Ponyville and we also have Discord and the Yaks on our side. We only need you to tip the scales in our favour.”

“Please Celestia!” Luna pleaded. “You’ve got to fight against Mental’s influence!”

Celestia firmly planted her hooves on the ground and pushed herself up. She trembled from the pylons’ magic, she grinded her teeth in pain and opened her eyes slightly. She saw Luna and Twilight counting on her. She saw the monsters pouring in from the door, the Alcor Class Warships gathering outside, she heard Tirek too.

“Equestria needs all of us,” said Luna, “now more than ever!”

Celestia charged her horn up. A single tear rolled on the side of her cheek, as her expression turned from desperate pain, to determined anger. Suddenly, the sphere around her exploded into a bright light, the pylons dissolved, the attacking monsters turned to red mist. Celestia stood straight.

Meanwhile Sam was running away from the fiery beams of Tirek.

“I’ll crush you like an insect!” Gloated Tirek.

Sam laughed. “I eat fuckers like you for breakfast!” Then he shot a few rockets at him.

Tirek swatted the rockets out of the air. “You are nothing! What can a piece of dirt do against someone like me?”

“Just the usual,” Sam responded, “kick his fucking ass!”

Their battle raged on. Sam ran circles around Tirek, while Tirek blew parts of Canterlot into smithereens, with each fiery beam. Then, at the right moment, an enormous laser beam hit Tirek straight in the face.

“I’ll send you back to the burning pits of Tartarus, you monster!” It was Celestia, followed by Twilight and Luna.

“And take your ugly army with you!” Luna screamed out and attacked with both of her miniguns.

Twilight flew next to Sam. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m having a blast!” Sam answered.

“What do you say?” Twilight grinned. “Wanna take a ride?”

“With pleasure!” Sam hopped onto Twilight’s back. She flew up and they both began assaulting Tirek.

Tirek flailed at them, but he was no longer in control of the fight.

“You fools!” He roared, then laughed. “You can’t defeat me!”

He then pulled out a gatling gun with his right hand, then a rocket launcher with his left hand. The princesses flew circles around him, while Tirek tried to shoot them down. He fired lasers from between his horns, rockets and showers of bullets from his guns. Celestia shot continuous beams at him, Luna brought down a hail of bullets from her miniguns, Twilight blasted him multiple times and Sam wailed on him, with all the weapons he had.

But Tirek got the upper hand. He shot down Celestia with a rocket, blasted Luna with a fiery beam and smashed Sam and Twilight into the ground. They fell into the rubble that used to be Canterlot. Their bodies filled with pain. Tirek just laughed.

“Can’t you see?” He roared. “You’re nothing against me! This whole pathetic world will crumble under lord Mental’s might!” After that gloat, he charged up a beam, preparing to destroy the princesses and Sam.

Suddenly a tiny laser beam shot into his face.

“What is this?” He said in confusion.

It was Fancy Pants. He was standing on top of the ruins of Canterlot, his suit completely ruined.

“If I must die, then I won’t die hiding under the rubble!” He shouted proudly.

Then another beam of laser shot up at Tirek. This time it was Moon Dancer

“I didn’t learn all of these offensive spells, to never use them!”

Soon, more lasers began to burn away at him, as all unicorns of Canterlot stood up from the ruins. Pegasi gathered around him and showered him with the storm clouds they brought.

Then suddenly Discord appeared next to him.

“Missed me?”

He pulled out his tommygun, followed by all the ponies of Ponyville, bringing a deluge of bullets and rockets. Then came the Yaks, with a loud unified “Yaks Smash!” Then the choir of flugelhorns could be heard. The army of the Crystal Empire emerged. Their soldiers decorated with the corpses of Mental’s monsters, with Cadence and Shining Armour leading the army. The Griffons came in from the distance, even Princess Ember was there, with her own army of dragons.

“Face it Tirek,” said Celestia, “you’re done for!”

Tirek tried to swat them away, shoot them down, but he was greatly outnumbered. He was quickly overwhelmed by lasers, storm clouds, dragon fire, yaks, spears and everything else the ponies could use as weapons. The Apple family and all the ponies of Appleloosa caught him with their ropes and tried to bring him down to the ground. He stood his ground, but then the yaks saw the ponies’ effort and coordinated a synchronised attack to tip him over. He quickly fell to the ground and couldn’t get up, as all of Equestria was now holding him down. They bashed everything they had at him, pulled off his skin, cut up his flesh, broke his horns, he was bleeding profusely from all of his body. They pulled his head into the ground and allowed Sam to deal the finishing blow. He stepped on Tirek’s neck and showed his cannon right to the roof of his mouth.

“The insect stomps back, bitch!” And with a charged up cannonball, Sam blew Tirek’s brain into pieces.

With Tirek obliterated, Mental’s army was retreating. His warships were beaming up all the monsters they could, but the armies of Equestria decimated most of the fleet and wiped out all alien monsters, that were still left on the land.

A moment of silence lingered as the final warship fled away and broke the clouds. Soon the sky became clear. Both the Sun and Moon were still up. Celestia raised the Sun up to the top of the sky, while Luna lowered the Moon to its rightful place. The sunlight shone on the bloody battlefield and as the light reached the army standing atop Tirek’s mangled corpse, they cheered.

All of Equestria was cheering.

The war has been won.