Lyra and Bon Bon's Odd Jobs

Lyra and Bon Bon cautiously entered Nurse Coldheart's office. Their boss had two vacant seating pillows waiting for them in front of her desk. Behind the head nurse were shelves full of medical books and diplomas. Coldheart did not look happy to see them. To the left of her sat Caramel, who looked distraught.

"I've received a complaint about your unprofessional attitudes towards one of our donors." Coldheart said, sternly, "Caramel said you were hostile and belligerent towards him."

Caramel sat there, staring at the ground. Bon Bon looked at him with compassion. She tried to relate to what the stallion must be going through, but she couldn't.

Bon Bon didn't see herself in a lesbian relationship. She viewed it as having fallen in love with her best friend. They had known each other since they were foals. Her best friend just also happened to be another mare.

Finding a special somepony was never an issue for her. She and Lyra had fallen in love with each other before either of them were old enough to know what romantic love really was.

Being ostracized from certain circles because of her same gender attraction was difficult for Bon Bon, but at least she had Lyra. Bon Bon's marefriend didn't care about what other ponies thought about them. It's only when those thought began to direct policies that there became an issue.

If Caramel was keeping his feelings hidden from everypony, including himself, Bon Bon thought, what must his life be like? Has he resigned himself to a life of loneliness?

"I don't need to put up with this abuse," Caramel said, bitterly, "I'm tempted to just stay at home and stick to online banking."

Lyra stared at Caramel with contempt. The stallion didn't return her gaze. He kept his head down, embarrassed. Lyra wasn't heartless. She would, of course, keep Caramel's secret; she just hated that she had to do it. No pony should ever be compelled to hide who they love from the world. She would never do that to Bon Bon.

Now here Lyra sat, being reprimanded for something she considered to be a non-issue. She might lose her job all because Caramel lacked the balls to be honest with himself. The unicorn wanted to tell that cowardly colt cuddler where he could shove his complaints. Fortunately, for the sake of their jobs, cooler heads prevailed.

"Caramel," Bon Bon said, tenderly. The stallion raised his eyes to look at her.

"We're sorry for how we treated you," Bon Bon said, apologetically, "We had no right to presume anything about your preferences. Please forgive us. It'll never happen again." Caramel snorted through his nose as he tried to compose himself.

"Alright," he said, nodding his head, "I accept your apology."

"I'm glad we were able to sort things out," Coldheart said, cheerfully, "Please do visit us again."

The stallion got up and left the room, exchanging angry looks with Lyra as he did so. The unicorn craned her neck to watch Caramel leave as the door closed behind him.

"I hope you default on your next payment," Lyra muttered quietly to herself, as she stared at the stallion, "You closeted, two-faced..."

Coldheart loudly cleared her throat to get her employees attention. Lyra remembered that she wasn't out of the woods yet. The unicorn snapped her head back around to look at her boss.

"In all my years as director of this cryobank," Coldheart began, "I've never had employees who displayed such brazen callousness towards donors. Such conduct is inexcusable." Lyra and Bon Bon flinched, expecting to be fired on the spot. However, before their new jobs could be cut short, there was a knock at the door. A pegasus mare with a white mane and a dark blue coat poked her head into the office. Her cutie mark was a large, intricate snow flake.

"Yes, Frigid Wind," Coldheart said, in an icy tone, "What is it? I'm in the middle of reprimanding some employees."

"I'm sorry," the pegasus said, urgently, "But we need you right away. There are protestors outside!"

"Damn," Coldheart said, with a heavy sigh. The nurse looked at Bon Bon and Lyra, "You two follow me." As they left Coldheart's office, the three mares followed the pegasus to the front doors.

"I want you two to see this," Coldheart said as they trotted briskly through the corridors, "If you two want to continue working here, then you've got to learn fast that working in a sperm bank isn't all sexual harassment jokes and filthy innuendos. We deal with very serious issues."

"But protestors?" Bon Bon asked, confused, "Who would want to protest a cryobank?"

"Maybe parents had a problem with the bank installing an ATM within 200 feet of a school?" Lyra guessed.

"No. The protestors outside are part of a fundamentalist group known as Equestrian Families United," Frigid Wind said, in a frustrated tone, "They tear down all institutions they view as a threat to quote unquote 'traditional families.'"

"Equestrian Families United," Lyra repeated, "So their acronym is E.F.U. or 'eff you?'"

"Basically," Coldheart said, as they approached the door.

A small crowd of mares and stallions had congregated outside the steps of the cryobank. A few had brought their children with them. Unicorns levitated protest signs. Pegasi wore slogans which hung around their necks on poster board. One stallion was being hassled by the crowd as he tried to get away from the sperm bank.

"Poor Caramel," Bon Bon said sadly as she watched the abuse. The mares stared out the window as the stallion was jostled by the mob. They called Caramel names, saying he was a pervert and a paid clopper. The stallion eventually made it through the crowd and ran down the road, crying.

Three earth ponies stood on the steps of the cryobank, facing the mob. There was a stallion with a sea-blue coat. His thick mane was the color of seaweed and his cutie mark depicted three ovals that formed six points around a small dot. It looked like the symbol for an atom.

The mare had a white coat with a neon-yellow mane. Her cutie mark consisted of three yellow hearts forming a 'Y' shape. The tips of the hearts were facing each other, with a yellow dot in the center. All the images of her cutie mark had a black outline around them. It looked vaguely like the symbol for nuclear energy.

The other earth pony was a little filly who didn't have her cutie mark yet. She had a light-blue coat, with a curly golden-yellow mane.

"Who are these firebrands?" Lyra asked, gesturing towards the ponies on the steps.

"Those would be EFU's protest organizers," Coldheart said, dispassionately, "Atomic Faith and his wife, Radiant Hope. Now that Glowing Charity is older, the family has started including their daughter in their protests as well."

"Lovely," Lyra said, sarcastically.

The other dozen members of the cryobank staff had stopped working to look out through the large glass windows at the crowd below. As Lyra and Bon Bon read the messages on the protest signs, their stomachs started to churn. They had dealt with bigotry before. It was never right; no matter who it was against.

The protest signs of the crowd spouted inciting vitriol, with slogans such as: CRYOBANKS MOCK THE GIFT OF LIFE and CLOP IS MURDER.

The mother and daughter also wore poster board around their necks. Radiant Hope's sign said in big letters: PROTECT THE NUCLEAR FAMILY. Below the words was an illustration of a stallion and a mare, with a foal standing between them.

Her daughter, Glowing Charity, had a sign written in thick crayon that read: I KNOW WHO MY DADDY IS. DO YOU?

Nurse Coldheart had seen enough. Lyra and Bon Bon watched as their boss stepped outside to confront the protestors. The crowd booed the nurse as she approached Atomic Faith. The blue stallion smiled as he listened to the sounds of his tumultuous mob.

"You'd better have a permit to protest here," Coldheart said, trying to sound calm, "I don't appreciate ponies harassing my donors."

"Oh we have the proper permits," Atomic Faith said, as he pulled some papers out from behind his wife's poster board. The stallion handed them over to Coldheart, who read them thoroughly.

"This is a troubled world we live in!" the stallion shouted, loud enough for the crowd to hear, "It's a sad state of affairs when you need a permit to protect the sanctity of traditional families!" That statement got a huge murmur of support from the crowd. Lyra and Bon Bon looked over at their fellow coworkers. They shook their heads sadly.

After examining the permit and finding no flaws, Coldheart handed the notarized legal document back to the stallion.

"Oh nurse," Atomic Faith said, in a patronizing tone, "As long as you're out here, perhaps you'd be willing to answer a few concerns these good ponies have about your business?" Coldheart stood there and nodded that she would hear their questions.

"I know your PR department has done a brilliant snow job on the public," Atomic Faith said, patronizingly. He approached Coldheart in the same manner a hungry griffon approaches its dinner. When Atomic Faith got closer, he continued speaking, "Your ads focus on a happy husband and wife, who have a foal through your services. You paint your business as one that allows a mare and a stallion to get pregnant when they can't do it through conventional means."

Coldheart looked out into the crowd. All eyes were on her and the blue stallion. News vans had begun arriving to cover the protest. Erin Bro-nett from the Canterlot News Network and her crew were filming the whole thing. The nurse swallowed her fear, put on her most professional face and turned her head to stare Atomic Faith in the eyes. The stallion made a cocky smile.

"It's a rosy business plan to be sure," Atomic Faith said, "but it's not honest, is it?"

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," the nurse said, coldly.

"Isn't it true that a majority of your clients are single mares not fit to raise a child on their own?" Atomic Faith asked accusingly, "You'll get any mare pregnant, provided she has the money. This sounds less like a reputable business and more like a Las Pegasus gigolo grotto."

"We do a thorough background check on all potential parents to make sure the child will be raised in a loving, stable environment."

"We're ponies," Atomic Faith said, dismissively, "Every home is a 'stable' environment." The crowd laughed as Coldheart started to sweat.

"I know at least one filly who might disagree with the effectiveness of your screening process," Atomic Faith said, smugly. The stallion's wife leaned next to Glowing Charity to remind the filly of her cue.

"Dear, go get your friend from school," Radiant Hope whispered to her daughter.

Lyra and Bon Bon watched as Glowing Charity took off her sign and ran down the steps to a pink unicorn filly standing in the front row. The pink pony was standing by two burly white stallions.

"Who is she bringing up?" one of the workers asked.

"I don't know," Frigid Wind said, "I don't recognize the filly, but the two build stallions guarding her are Atomic Faith's muscle. Hard Peace and Tough Love are their names, and they provide security during the protest."

As the two fillies ran up the stairs, Erin Bro-nett whispered to her cameramare, "Get somepony with a microphone up there. We can't miss this."