Lyra and Bon Bon's Odd Jobs

As Lyra marched out to confront Radiant Hope and the rest of the protesters, she reflected on her earlier conflict with Caramel. She wasn't really angry with the stallion. Lyra didn't hate closeted ponies. Caramel's cowardice was just a byproduct of the overall intolerance that was plaguing their society. Her anger towards the stallion stemmed from living in a world where a large percentage of the population still considered same gender attraction to be a mental sickness. Lyra was determined to give this holier-than-thou hellcat a Clydesdale-sized piece of her mind.

Lyra and Bon Bon stood between Atomic Faith's family and Nurse Coldheart. Radiant Hope shielded her daughter from the mares as though she feared their lesbianism was a communicable disease. Numerous murmurs and boos rose from the crowd as Lyra stared down Radiant Hope.

Atomic Faith managed to keep a stern exterior, but on the inside he was doubled up with giddy excitement. He had managed to use Ruby Pinch as an example of a foal raised by an unfit single mother. The added bonus of getting a lesbian couple on stage during the climax of their speech was more than Atomic Faith could have hoped for. The news cameras kept rolling as the father approached the two mares.

"It's not surprising that a pair of lesbians would want to work at a sperm bank," Atomic Faith said loudly, as he put a hoof around his wife's shoulder, "It enables the filly foolers to keep in close contact with the only part of a stallion they'll begrudgingly admit they need. His seed."

With that line, a lot of the stallions in the crowd began to laugh and jeer at the mares. Some gave each other hoof bumps or exchanged winking nods.

"Actually," Lyra said, shouting above the noise, "I just work here for all the free porn I can read."

The laughter from the stallions died quickly. They may have been closed-minded bigots, but they weren't complete prudes. Even if if they didn't agree with the mare's lifestyle choices, the stallions in the audience still had to respect somepony who took a job to get unlimited free porn.

Atomic Faith was visibly shaken that Lyra had managed to silence the crowd. It unnerved him that another pony here possessed such a commanding presence. Glowing Charity cowered behind her father, shaking like a leaf.

"Daddy!" the filly said, "Protect me from the gayness!"

Leaving the other members of her family behind her, Radiant Hope approached the mares, eager to start a fight.

"So be honest," the mother said, as she sauntered up to the unicorn, "Did you two start working here for the employee discount? Do they have a special deal for lesbian couples who want to get knocked up together? Buy one turkey baster and get the second one free?" The crowd laughed uproariously as the mother gave the mares a smug smile.

Lyra raised her right arm with the underside of her hoof facing upwards and extended it out towards Radiant Hope.

"What? Do you want to shake hooves?" the mother asked, "Forget it. Between your personal life and your work environment, there's no telling where your filthy hooves have been."

"I don't want to shake your hoof," Lyra said, straining. Tears of frustration formed in Lyra's eyes as she continued to hold her hoof out, "It's just that at times like these I really wish I had fingers. I'd only need one for this..."

Bon Bon was one of the few ponies in attendance who knew what Lyra was talking about. As part of Lyra's hand obsession, she had studied with a group of griffons to learn the different uses for fingers. She was one of the only ponies alive who could fluently read sign language. At her insistence, the griffons also showed Lyra several obscene hand gestures; one of which she was currently attempting to recreate, without much success. In spite of the improper presentation, the sentiments behind the gesture resonated through every fiber of Lyra's being.

"You want fingers?" the mother laughed at the unicorn's peculiar quirks, "You poor thing. I guess you're just doomed to spend your life longing after things you were never designed by nature to have."

As Bon Bon stood listening to this abuse, she knew she couldn't let Lyra wage this battle alone. This fight for love and tolerance was as much hers as it was Lyra's. Bon Bon stepped forward, standing in lockstep with her marefriend. The earth pony was determined that they would weather this storm of hatred together.

"Now there's a riddle for the sphinxes," Radiant Hope mused to her fellow protesters, "Who makes a worse mother? A pair of sober lesbians or a single drunken mare?" Chuckles and murmurings rumbled throughout the crowd that sounded like thunder. To Ruby Pinch, who was trapped in the midst of it all, the sound was scarier than any natural storm.

"You can say what you like about me and Lyra," Bon Bon said, her face growing red with anger, "but I won't stand silently while you slander a mother who isn't even here to defend herself!"

"Of course she isn't here!" a stallion shouted from the crowd, "We weren't giving out free booze!" The rest of the protesters laughed. Ruby Pinch, realizing there was no escape for her, curled up on the ground and silently cried.

"I don't know Ruby Pinch's mother personally, but I'm sure she's a better parent than you'll ever be." Bon Bon said. She came to this conclusion after she heard Ruby Pinch speak. For all of the mother's flaws, she had still managed to raise a filly who was kind.

"I see you're as poor a judge of parenting skills as you are at picking life partners," Radiant Hope said, dryly, "Her mother, Berry Punch, is a raging alcoholic who's one step closer to having her filly taken away from her for good."

"She's still done less harm to Ruby Pinch than you've done to Glowing Charity." Bon Bon said, "Berry Punch only poisons her body with wine, while you've poisoned your filly's mind with the same hate and intolerance that has corrupted you and your husband. You've taught your daughter to fear those who are different from her."

"Not having a foal of your own, you can't comprehend the full lengths a mother will go through to protect her filly from evil influences," Radiant Hope said icily to Bon Bon, "Do you hope to be a mother someday?"

"Leave her alone!" Lyra said, stepping in front of her marefriend to protect her, "You should all just get the buck out and mind your own damned business!" Lyra's horn began to glow. The white mare took a hesitant step back, fearing for her safety.

"Lyra stop," Bon Bon said softly. Resisting the urge to start melting faces, Lyra listened to her marefriend and stopped.

Bon Bon had often thought about becoming a mother someday, but she wanted to have a commitment ceremony with Lyra first. They didn't need it to prove their love to each other, she just wanted to make sure everything was nice and legal if foals were to enter the picture.

"I think it would be wonderful to raise a foal," Bon Bon said, blushing. Lyra gulped. The two mares had never seriously talked with each other about the prospects of starting a family before.

Lyra considered herself to be an immature little filly trapped inside a mare's body. Bon Bon had a hard enough time cleaning up after the two of them. The unicorn didn't know how her marefriend would be able to clean up both their messes and keep up with a foal, too. Putting her own childish tendencies aside, Lyra felt compelled to support Bon Bon at this crucial juncture.

"You bet your ass we want foals," Lyra said to Radiant Hope, with masked apprehension. Bon Bon gasped as her marefriend reciprocated her feelings. Unable to contain her joy, Bon Bon hugged Lyra around the neck and kissed her check.

The mares in the audience looked at Lyra and Bon Bon with disgust, viewing their love as something abhorrent. Some of the more salacious stallions who had just seen a peck on the cheek were secretly hoping to see things escalate into a full-fledged filly fooler make out session.

"Your desire for children is your natural motherly instincts taking hold," Radiant Hope said, optimistically, "It's a shame you're both suppressing some of your other natural instincts."

"Oh no," Coldheart said. She knew where this was going. Radiant Hope had used this tactic before on several lesbian couples who had come to the cryobank. It never ended well.

"You both long for a foal of your own," the mother said to Lyra and Bon Bon, "The fact that you both want something you can't possibly give each other should make you realize that what you're doing is wrong. Two mares weren't meant to be together; it goes against nature. Filly foolers can't raise a foal together any better than they can create a foal together."

These words sunk into Bon Bon's heart like an icy dagger. She knew they weren't true, but at the same time it was still difficult to hear. Her heart beat fast as she felt hundreds of judgmental eyes staring into her soul. Overcome with grief, Bon Bon broke down and started to cry. The lamentations of her marefriend sent Lyra into a rage.

"You self righteous bitch!" Lyra shouted at the mother. Her horn and eyes glowed with magical energy as she slowly started walking towards Radiant Hope.

Hard Peace and Tough Love watched anxiously for a sign to move in and tackle the unicorn. Atomic Faith never gave any signal, so the two stallions stayed put and kept Ruby Pinch from leaving.

"How dare you!" Atomic Faith growled at Lyra as he stepped forward to stand beside Radiant Hope, "Nopony talks to my wife that way, you filthy, foulmouthed mare muncher!"

Lyra wanted to make the pain and anger in her heart go away; but if she couldn't do that, she'd settle for frying the husband and wife's faces off with magic. She charged up her beam as a humming sound emitted from her horn.

"You don't scare me," Atomic Faith sneered, "You're not going to try something so stupid as to assault me in front of a news camera." What Atomic Faith failed to realize was, when Lyra got angry, her foresight was the first thing to go. She was seriously prepared to fry them both and damn the consequences. As she had to do was wait a few more seconds until she was fully charged.

"No delusional pearl polisher will ever be able to destroy the nuclear family!" Atomic Faith gloated, "My wife and I have a pure love that can only be felt between a mare and a stallion, and nothing will ever come between that love!"

At that moment there was a loud rumbling sound heard from overhead. Lyra stopped charging her beam and looked up. Everypony else in attendance also looked up. The rest of the cryobank employees stood atop the bank. Frigid Wind held a small grey storm cloud in her hooves out over the edge of the roof. A string tied around the cloud connected it to a large balloon filled with a specific viscous liquid. The balloon was floating above Atomic Faith's head.

One of the cooling rooms had broken yesterday, rendering all the samples inside unusable. Instead of disposing of them in the conventional manner, the cryobank staff had 'pooled their resources' to create a makeshift liquid protester deterrent.

"We hope you enjoy this free sample, courtesy of Ponyville Cryobank," Frigid Wind said, "If I were you, I'd start running, before an errant lightning strike pops the balloon and you have a really bad day."

In the back of her mind, Nurse Coldheart knew this act would not endear their cryobank to the community. She decided not to worry about it for now, as the sight of the husband and wife paralyzed in fear was just too good to ignore. Atomic Faith and Radiant Hope couldn't move a muscle. They stood stone still and stared at the liquid as it sloshed around inside the balloon.

The crowd's respect for the family did not transcend cheap, sexual humor. Several of the protesters didn't care who it was, they just wanted to see somepony get humiliated. The thunder cloud gave another rumble and a flash of lightning crashed, missing the balloon. Radiant Hope and Atomic Faith both screamed at the top of their lungs. Without another word, they ran down the steps screaming. Frigid Wind gave the cloud a little push and it began following the couple from the air. Glowing Charity followed close behind her parents, trying to stay ahead of the balloon's range.

The crowd backed up as the family approached them. The rest of the protesters were sure to give their organizers and the cloud a wide berth as they moved quickly past. Unsure of what else to do, Hard Peace and Tough Love hoisted the emotionally-exhausted Ruby Pinch and followed behind the balloon as its shadow cut a path through the crowd. The husband and wife ran as fast as they could over the hill, with the cloud in hot pursuit.

"Now I guess that's what you call a cum-uppance," Erin Bro-nett reported, winking at the camera.

Once Atomic Faith had ran over the hill with his family and friends, the rest of the protesters turned back to look up the steps. Lyra was standing next to Bon Bon, with Nurse Coldheart to their left.

"How are we going to get the rest of them to leave? Bon Bon whispered to Lyra, "We don't have nearly enough semen or balloons."

"Leave that to me," Lyra said, as she put her arm around Bon Bon.

"Hey out there," Lyra called out, waving to the crowd, "Who wants to watch me make out with my lesbian marefriend?"

Instinctively, all the stallions in the audience raised a hoof. Their wives were shocked and insulted by their husband's vulgarity. All the mares turned to leave for home, taking their foals with them. Realizing the boneheaded mistake they had all made, the stallions followed cautiously behind their wives, apologizing profusely.

As she watched the protesters leave, dragging their signs behind them, the full weight of the day's events finally hit Lyra, and she hated it.

"That's right!" Lyra said, crying, "That's right, run! Run, you hypocritical bastards! You only accept filly foolers when we make you horny! It's not fair. You don't treat ponies this way! Eff you, Equestrian Families United! EFF YOU!!!"

Lyra slumped down and cried. Bon Bon wrapped her arms around her marefriend and cried as well. Nurse Coldheart watched the protesters leave, before turning her head back to look at Lyra and Bon Bon. It had been a hard first day of work for the two mares.