Quite the Life, hmm?

by PossessedBrony

First published January 1st, 1970 00:00

My eyes shot open. I was staring through the opening in the trees. The small amount of sunlight peering through was barely enough to suffice for a normal day. Though I was happy that I was at least in a nice spot in the forest. Nonetheless, I was terribly terrified to wake up in the middle of a forest. I have no idea what transpired. A second ago I had drifted into sleep by the amazing endeavors of Commander Shepard as well as the shocking amount of Mug I had poured down my gullet 12 hours prior. I sat up and had time to use my first words in this crazy world

"What the farmhand?"

In reality the last word was a not so pleasant obscenity, but for the sake of all the kids out there I'll tone down on the language because in reality I have a freakin' sailor's mouth.

This didn't make sense, I thought returning tho the story from my own little swear alert, a hipster like me will never make it in the forest. I got to my feet. Now that I, standing 5'7" as per usual, was back on top of things I could begin to sort things out. The Forest, wherever it may be,.felt familiar as if I had seen it before. I decide to move onward through the forest. Something in the air felt… familiar. Considering I'm in a strange forest in the middle of the day alone with no recollection of how I got here. I felt safe and sane. I continued to trek on, seeing what appeared to be bushes in the distance. At about the same time, a familiar howl came from not-to-far away in the forest. I knew it was wolves but my subconscious thought other wise. I began to walk faster as another howl, closer now, sounded. I picked it up and began jogging. Now The very close howls had a gnashing sound behind them. I ran. I could hear gnashing and barking behind me as I dived into the bushes up ahead. The barking and gnashing soon died down. Is this some kind of sick game someone's playing? What's happening! I peered out the bushes and saw a sight that made my jaw practically fall off it's hinges. There was no way. Absolutely no possible way in the world that I'm staring at the bright colors of the town of Ponyville.

Chapters

This is a dream, right?
Edge of the Law

This is a dream, right?
View Online

Quite the Life, hmm?

This is a dream, right?

I sat there amazed. I was literally staring into the heart and soul of my source of closet brony love. The heart and soul of good television. The heart and soul of harmony. I slipped out of the bushes. I made a slow dramatic admiring walk like they do in movies, like in Jurassic Park when they saw the first Triceratops, that kind of walk. I stepped toward the town. Just an innocent pink bridge into my wildest pony dream. I then hesitated. Wait. What would they think of me? I know they're all for love and tolerance but... A Human? I'm probably an old ponytale. God I feel like Javik. A person completely out of touch with the society here. I hid back not sure what to do. I decided to suck it up and go in. But not the front of the town. No. I'll have to sneak in somewhere else. I quickly found the entrance to the Everfree forest from Season 1 Episode 1. I Neared the town outskirts and suddenly heard three familiar voices.

"Maybe we should try helping some animals said a familiar white filly

"Nah. We already tried that with Fluttershy, and ah don't think we we're gonna get our cutie marks like that" said the filly with the accent. I let out a little laugh. Oh yes. The Stare Master. When Fluttershy stared down a Cockatrice. Good times.

My laugh alerted the fillies to my presence.

"What was that?" said the pegasus filly.

"Ah don't know. How 'bout you check it out?"

"What! Why me?"

"Because you ... um... heard it first."

"No way I'm going near there, Applebloom!"

"Why? Are ya, chicken"

I couldn't contain it. I blurted out with laughter. Indeed Scootaloo is a chicken. I failed to see the fillies scared reactions.

"I-I'm not a chicken. It's just... I'm not allowed near the Everfree Forest is all."

"Right. And I'm not allowed near Sugarcube Corner." said Applebloom

"Oh come ON!" Shouted Sweetie Bell "If neither of you are going I'll do it!"

She triumphantly walked towards me. But soon she began to get nervous by the way she walked. She got close to the bush before the absolute terror took over and she began to return.

"Nothing here." she replied to her friend sheeply

I reached for her, I didn't think simply acted. I must've thought that this would be my only chance to touch a pony. I laid my hand on her and instantly felt her peach-fuzz like coat. I was in heaven

She however had the look of death on her face pure shock and terror as she saw my hand, completely alien to her, touch her. She screamed as loud as a pony possibly could and ran towards Ponyville screaming "ALIEN ALIEN ALIEN ALIEN ALIEN!" followed in unison by Applebloom and Sweetie Bell.

"Dammit. What did I do."

Edge of the Law
View Online

Quite the Life, hmm?

Edge of the Law

"Oh damn. Oh damn. Oh damn." I repeated to myself panicked. I had just revealed myself to the CMC, and now I've jeopardized my safety here. Great. Way to make an impression knuncklehead.

"Okay, maybe everyone will think it's just their imaginations." I said trying to reassure myself. My one shred of hope was obliterated when I began to hear the little fillies returning with the mane 6. Give or take. Out of fear I never left the comfort of the bush. but i did hear some distinct voices. Twi wanted to prove that I wasn't real, AJ tried to reassure the fillies, and RD was getting ready to get in a tad bit of a skirmish. Hmm, yes, quite, sophisticated moment for reassurance. What was odd was, I could hear Pinkie's bouncing. Literally hear it. Like her body is made from hacking rubber. Which it more than likely is. So that's four of six. Well, I'm screwed.

"Here! It was right here!" I could Hear Sweetie Bell crying, still full of terror.

"Please, no." I whispered. It was no use. I saw purple hooves move away my protective foliage. Sweet, sweet foliage. Why did you go? The purple pony stared me right in the eye. I did the same. For a full second we stared at each other unable to comprehend what we were seeing.

"H-hi." I muttered sheeply, waving at her.

"AH!" she shrieked before falling back on her plot.

I jumped. I hadn't expected her to react like she did. Not a good sign.

"Dear sweet Celestia!" She shrieked backpedaling almost halfway back to town.

"Come out here so I can show you how we do it in Ponyville!" Rainbow Dash hooves up like the pony Mike Tyson. I did just that. I stepped out of my bush of protection. The ponies reacted quite scared at the sight of me. Rariy fainted, Fluttershy went completely stiff like in Dragonshy, while everyone-- everypony else just looked shocked. Rainbow Dash was purely terrified like Twilight and Sweetie Bell before.