Author's Note

I regret everything.

Triggers: Ceiling fans, dick.

Ceiling Fan

Shining was about to answer the age-old question: can you really get your dick stuck into a ceiling fan? He kept hearing his soldiers joking about how they “accidentally got their dicks stuck in ceiling fans from unclear instructions”, and decided to test it for himself.

If he could stick his dick into a monstrosity, he could stick it into an inanimate object.

He enters their personal kitchen, up and out of the way from anywhere else in the castle beside his and his wife’s bedroom. The ceiling fan slowly spun, giving the room a slight chill, but Shining flicked the switch off. Better not make it too complex.

He steps up onto the kitchen table and looks at the ceiling fan a bit closer. He wondered: where would he stick his dick in? And how would he get his dick that high? He wasn’t the best at hoof stands, but he decided he could at least try.

Seeing that his nether regions successfully reached that high, he poked his erect cock against the machine. The crystal felt cool against his skin. He shifted around a bit, and quickly found that his dick could fit in between the mechanisms that turned the blades and the base that held the fan to the ceiling. Excited on his findings, he hopped off the table and went to turn on the fan. It resumed its slow spin, the slight breeze in the room returning. Excited, he hops back up onto the kitchen table and quickly sticks his dick into the gap.

“SHIIIIIINIIIIIIIIIIING!”

Cadance called his name again through the crystal halls, and still failed to get a response. A small pout appeared on her face. “Shining! Where are you? Today’s court was really tiring and I REALLY need a good dicking right now!”

Still no response.

She sighed. Maybe he was sleeping in their bedroom. Or he was waiting for her, dick full mast, really for her inviting lips…

Oh, that was hot.

She quickens her pace towards their bedroom, but paused when she heard a soft groaning from the kitchen. It sounded like Shining. She wondered why he was in the kitchen, he knew fucking nothing about cooking.

She steps into the kitchen and sees Shining having a DIY flight on the ceiling fan. With his dick in it.

“SHINING WHAT THE FUCK?!”

The unicorn looks up at his wife and gives her a sheepish grin. “Uh...the instructions were unclear, got my dick stuck in the ceiling fan.”

“What instructions?!”

“...on how to get your dick stuck in a ceiling fan.”

Cadance pulled Shining out of the fan, who in turn gave a short whimper of pain as his sore dick felt the change in pressure. She pulled him to her face and gazed into her eyes. “Shining. It looks like your dick is a bit sore. Maybe you should give it a little rest tonight?” He gave her a small nod, and she giggled in response.

“Tough luck, fuckcolt. I’m going to make it a lot worse.”