Author's Note

Author: Lord Celtic Stoner

Triggers: Gophers, dicks.

Gopher Holes

Lately, Shining and Cadence have been getting numerous compliments from both the royal guard as well as the citizens of the Crystal Empire about small little rodents running around, digging holes and tunnels everywhere, causing trouble and mayhem for any pony unfortunate enough to happen a hoof or two into these holes.

“Shining! We got another complaint about those gopher holes, that’s the 10th one this week! Some pony is going to end up getting seriously injured if we don’t do something soon; I think it’d be best if we just brought Twilight’s friend Fluttershy in, she has a certain way with animals.” Cadence said as she waltzing into the throne room and started paced around.

Shining knew that Cadence was going to suggest bringing in Twilight or one of her friends to take care of the issue, she always did. But in typical stubborn husband fashion, Shining told his wife not to bother and that he’d take care of the issue himself.

Cadence didn’t buy it, but figured that even if she did call in Fluttershy, her husband would find time in between to get himself into some sort of trouble but decided to see what exactly it was he had in mind before having the letter sent off.

Meanwhile outside, Shining Armor was wandering around inspecting the hundreds of holes dotting the ground around the castle and neighboring buildings, trying to figure out ways of getting the gophers to come out of the holes. He continued surveying the area when he spotted one of the gophers popping up to steal a loaf of bread out of a nearby basket when Shining tried to blast it with his magic, missing horribly and instead causing a bigger hole to form in place of the much smaller one. Cadence watched on, silently judging from high above on the edge of the balcony. “Sometimes I question why I married that stallion…” she said to herself.

Shining quickly filled up the hole and thought about just flooding the holes with water but figured that would probably just piss his wife off more. “Oh! Maybe I can lure them out, with something they’re bound to pounce on! Now, what do I have on hand that never fails to attract cute little creatures…” He said to himself as an idea finally clicked in his head.

He wandered to another part of the castle grounds, watching for gophers till he spotted one next to a building. He quickly made a running leap towards it, causing the gopher to duck back inside. But this did not deter Shining, he positioned himself squarely over the hole and rammed his dick down into it “C-Come on you little bastards, come get some of this nice juicy dick!” He said as he tried pushing it further in, grunting as he felt the sand and pebbles grind against his dick.

The gophers, on the other hand, were simply huddled in a corner in one of the many twists and bends, watching on as the snake-like penis bobbed up and down. They chirped and squeaked to one another as they nodded and ran back deeper into their tunnel. Shining, realizing he probably fucked up, tried to pull his dick out of the hole only to find it had become stuck in the hole.

By now, Cadence had begun to wonder what was taking Shining so long and where he was when she heard a knock at the door. She opened it to reveal one of the guards with the local elementary school teacher who did not look happy at all. “Oh, this ought to be good…” She said as the teacher cleared her throat “Yes… Well, how do I put this, your majesty, um Prince Shining Armor is… stuck.” She said as a faint blush adorned the school mare’s cheeks.

“What do you mean… stuck?”

“W-Well I can only imagine it had to do with gopher problem but how it came to this I can’t say… it’s best if you just see for yourself.”

The teacher pointed to the direction of the schoolyard as Cadence quickly trotted over to the nearby window and glanced out it and down to the schoolyard below where she came face to face with Shining, desperately trying to free his dick as the school fillies and colts were being rushed inside before they caught a glimpse of their ruler’s...ruler.

Cadence’s jaw dropped like a lead weight and she facehoofed incredibly hard and shook her head “I… I don’t even know anymore, can one of the guards please go retrieve my idiot husband and bring him to me, I have a lot to do today and this is not helping…” She ordered as the guard and teacher took their leave and left Cadence to herself. She wandered to her nightstand and levitated out a tumbler glass and bottle of amber liquid. “Curse these ponies, they drive me to drink…”