Chapters Chapter 11: A Survivor's Cry for Help
If I didn't trust Doctor Coal Hammer before, now I can't trust him as far as I could throw him. I'm a below average height little mare and I'm well over a head shorter than him. Not very far. He's got me sitting across from him at a table after hours when most of the hospital staff has gone home for the day and I also have electrodes attached to wires taped on various spots on my forehead. Clutzy watched helplessly as I was treated like a lab rat and began to panic and desperately tried to pick up small items to make his presence known. He must think that doing so could halt the torment.
The first experiment he's making be do is rather simple albeit painful for me and it gets worse with each turn we take. He holds up several cards with different shapes on the backside and asks me...scratch that, tells me to guess the shape on the card before he shows it to me and either tells me I'm correct or...
"Yipe!" I squeaked as I received a small but very unwelcome jolt of electricity upon making a wrong guess.
"Okay sweetie, let's try this again." Doctor Coal Hammer said as he placed down the card with a star on it and picked up another one. "Concentrate now. Think hard, you can do this. What's on this card?"
"Erm...is it...shit, I really don't want you to zap me again...a square?"
"Ooooh...close but not quite."
Coal Hammer then flipped the card over revealing to me that the image was instead a triangle. I gulped nervously as he reached for a button on a small control panel in front of him.
"Yahow!" I yelled as I received another shock. "That hurt even worse!"
"That's correct dear, they just get stronger with each one you get wrong."
"Do they get weaker with each one I get right?"
"No. Here, let's try this one. What's on the card?"
"Umm..."
"Concentrate."
"Okay is it...a figure eight?"
"This just isn't your day."
He chuckled as he flipped over the card to show me that instead it was a circle. I think the few I got right were just plain dumb luck. Just like the last dozen or so times, he tapped the button, giving me a shock even worse than all the others.
"Ahh! How long do we have to do this!?" I asked, getting far more upset than ever before.
"Relax, you've only got seventy five more to go."
"Oh come on!"
"You need to calm down if you want this to work. See, this is why you're getting most of them wrong. Just clear your mind. What's on the card?"
"Fuck it...a couple of wavy lines?"
"Ooooh! So close! Three wavy lines, not a couple."
Once again, he pressed the button, giving me a tear inducing jolt.
"Wahahow!! What the fuck is the point of all this!?"
"We're simply trying to test the effects of negative reinforcement on a pony's psychokinetic abilities."
"I'll tell you the effect! It's pissing me off!"
Evidently, Coal Hammer was unmoved by my protests and eventual pleads for him to stop the experiment and we saw it the whole way through. Using process of elimination, I recalled which shapes he had already pulled and surprisingly began getting many of them right however, I got my fair share of them wrong as well. I wasn't spared any painful zaps and it seemed like it hit a plateau and stopped getting stronger, though Coal Hammer never told me that and I wasn't about to ask in case it reminded him to turn up a dial or something.
At least I can be thankful that we were only doing one experiment today and Coal Hammer brought me back to my little room where I could spend time with my little ghost buddy and maybe watch some tv while we were at it. Needless to say, I was exhausted, frustrated, scared, and really dreading what was to come next. There's got to be some way I can get a hold of Doctor Bleeding Heart and bring this shit to his attention. Aside from Clutzy, he seems to be the only one I can truly trust around here and I know for damn sure, performing experiments on patients isn't within hospital protocol nor is it legal.
I spent a few minutes flipping through channels until something in the form of a news bulletin caught our eyes. I wasn't a stranger to seeing my photo on the news as since that fateful day, my mugshot was a regular sight. This time however, the picture of me that floated up to the top left corner of the screen wasn't my mugshot but instead a photo of myself on my high school graduation day. I was obviously overjoyed having reached such a chapter in my life and I was pleasantly surprised to be shown in a different light from before, going from being shown as a negligent reckless moron to just a regular pony with a regular life. I need to see this.
"More on the story of Creampuff Lime, the young lady whom served a year in jail for her actions leading to the death of a ten year old colt unboarding a school bus last Spring." The News anchor began as Clutzy and I leaned towards the tv. "Oswaggo County's village of Trottski has been dealt another hard blow as Miss Lime is taken by ambulance to a psychiatric facility after neighbors express concern over an alleged suicide attempt. Dozens of residents of Trottski have admitted to harassment and ostracizing of Miss Lime and her family and have made public apologies following a press conference with Trottski's mayor and police chief. The two village officials had the following to say..."
The scene on the tv the switched to the aforementioned press conference that took place at the gazebo in the village park. Easily half or more of the village population was gathered to hear the mayor and police chief throw in their two bits regarding me and my pupils fully dilated as I watched in awe.
"It has been confirmed that Miss Lime did indeed attempt to take her own life sometime early last month, a few weeks after she was released." Police Chief Bluestreak said somberly as he stared down at the podium at which he stood. "Now very understanably we were all very upset with the events that occured last year and we lost a beloved member of our community...but we in turn have made another member of our community who made a mistake that she has to live with for the rest of her life into a victim...and because of that, we nearly lost her as well. This isn't justice. She didn't deserve to be made to feel like she was worth less than anypony else and now all we can do is hope that she can recover from her illness and that we can let her know just how sorry we all are for what we've done to her. Mayor Max will now give his own testimony and then he and I will be taking questions."
Clutzy and I looked at each other with watery eyes and then back to the tv as Trottski's mayor then stepped up to the podium.
"I think I speak for everypony when I say that we completely lost sight of a lot of very important things." Mayor max began as I gently placed a hoof on the tv screen. "Have we all forgotten that Creampuff Lime was born and raised here in Trottski? We watched her grow up from a tiny little filly into the wonderful young mare she is today. Did any of us ever give any thought to how the accident affected her? She didn't just waltz away from it unscathed and without a care in the world. She too is in just as much agony as every last one of us."
The Mayor then paused for a moment to wipe away tears that were rolling down his own cheeks.
"Instead of casting her aside...we should have been there for her at the very start. She is so young and has to live with this for so, so many years. We like to think that we're a tight knit community here but...we instead tore ourselves apart over this and utterly broke...no, destroyed her."
As I wept while watching the live broadcast, Mayor Max then turned to directly face the camera and it felt just as if he were looking me straight in the eye. Clutzy gently patted me on the shoulder to comfort me as we both watched and listened to the mayor continue his speech.
"As her lifelong friends and neighbors...we certainly didn't act like it. As her community that should have been there for her...we failed her..."
Clutzy and I were at a loss for words. With my twitching, glossy eyes I continued to stare at the small television as the broadcast ended and still gawked for still what seemed like five whole minutes. This was one of the best things that has happened since the accident last year. My neighbors had all at long last forgiven me and I will not hesitate to do the same for them. I could sleep easy tonight knowing this and hopefully try not to think about what else Doctor Coal Hammer had in store for me tomorrow...for now.
As I slept, Clutzy spent his time haunting the halls of the facility and just in general scoping the place out and looking for any way he could make his presence known. For some reason, he has had difficulty picking up even the lightest of objects which seems to come and go. We're not sure why, it just doesn't make sense to us. Celestia's sun warmed me up through my window to the city as I slowly faded in and out of my slumber. It's pretty early, I must have slept like rock.
Seeming how I've developed a mild case of cabin fever, I figured it might be good for me to soak up some rays and take a look at what little of this bustling city I can see. The intensely loud music blaring from a passing car suddenly cut out being replaced by the sound of some ponies shouting. I don't mind a little action happening around town but not when ponies get hurt as a result and sure enough, I peaked out my window to see two Saltzicuse police officer beating some other guy's ass as a few others stood around dunking their donuts into their coffee. Typical Saltzicuse. That's probably why they wear black uniforms, to hide the blood stains. I don't want to see this.
Well, so much for that idea. Turns out however, I wouldn't have to wait very much longer as just as I hopped back down from the little table just under the window, the clicking of the lock on my door being undone caught my attention. Much to my bemusement, sure enough, Doctor Coal Hammer opened up the door signaling the start of my day and whatever shit he was about to put me through.
"Hey, we've got a lot going on today, so you can eat breakfast in my office while we talk, okay?" Doctor Coal Hammer began, sounding somewhat friendlier and slightly less cold than usual.
Still not trusting that my day will even be remotely decent, I followed my healthcare provider anyway but was grateful that he didn't feel the need to strap me down to a stretcher. I followed close behind him without either of us uttering a word...that is, until we started trotting past through the sex offender ward again. I heard Coal Hammer express his very understandable distaste for foal molesters but I never expected him to say what I was just about to hear.
"You fucking ponies..." Coal Hammer said quietly to himself as we trotted past locked rooms harboring sex offenders. "...beyond disgust me. Vile scum, nothing more. It's a big waste to keep you all alive. If I didn't have any witnesses, I'd put a forty-five slug through all your skulls..."
"Don't you think..." I began nervously. "...maybe that's just a tad harsh?"
"For the things they've done? Nope. Fuck them all. If it were up to me, they'd be euthanized. If I knew I could get away with it that is."
Little did I know, as Coal Hammer ranted about his intense hatred of pedofoals, he stopped in his tracks as I glanced around at the creepy faces staring at us and came within a fraction of an inch from bumping into him. I wasn't going fast and bumping into somepony to most is no big deal. On the contrary, Doctor Coal Hammer took quite the issue with it as he noticed at the last second and flared his wings as he scooted out of the way with a single powerful flap.
"Watch it!" Coal Hammer snapped, startling me. "You almost touched me! Okay, number one rule here, never touch me for any reason! I can't stand being touched by somepony! Got it?"
"I-I-I'm sorry!" I stuttered as I backed up with my ears folded back. "I didn't mean to, I swear!"
After a minute of listening to Coal Hammer rant and rave about how he hasn't allowed another pony to touch him since he was a teenager, we both finally calmed down after another minute or two and resumed our trot to his office. On our way there, I gave this situation some thought and started putting two and two together. He refuses to work with pedofoals within his profession, hates them to a point where he wouldn't think anything of executing them and has a complete meltdown when somepony gets anywhere near him or brings up his foalhood. Oh my Faust...something must have happened to him...but I don't dare ask him about it.
"Okay, so where is he right now?" A now much more calm Coal Hammer asked me about my little ghost companion.
"Um, he's...right here." I replied as I pointed to directly where Clutzy was hovering while myself and Coal Hammer sat across from each other in a chair of our own.
I mean, I know I'm the only one who can see him but this is just getting weird. Coal Hammer stuck a probe from a digital thermometer and unbeknownst to himself, ended up shoving straight through Clutzy's stomach. The look on Coal Hammer's face when the readings abruptly changed was a mixture of excitement and soon replaced by confusion.
"I knew it!" Coal Hammer squealed with delight. "A substantial temperature change...but...the temperature...increased? Any of my studies have always shown that paranormal entities bring the temperature down, not up? I've never seen anything like it, it went up by nearly eight degrees!"
"Well, he is pretty warm." I replied. "We've hugged a lot and he just makes me feel better, you know?" Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned hugs. Coal Hammer frowns as he straps some goggles to his head.
"I don't get the appeal. Of course I'm sure you know that now. Okay let's see...my Fuast..."
"What, what is it?"
"There's a thermal reading! There's actually a big orange cloud of heat floating right in front of me! Now if only I could actually find a way to make him visible without needing the goggles..."
"You still haven't told me exactly why you spend so much time and effort to finding ghosts."
"In due time, little missy, in due time. Now that I've recorded some thermal images, I'm going to need to scan your actual brain and try to see why you can actually se-"
A sudden knock on door to Coal Hammer's office cut him off and judging by his suddenly furrowing brow, he wasn't happy about it at all. The day was winding down at this point and most of the hospital staff had gone home for the day so it was unlikely that it was somepony who works here. An irritated Doctor Coal Hammer then huffed angrily as he trotted over the the door and gave an annoyed groan before opening the door.
"Oh Faust damn it..." Coal Hammer huffed. "It's that mare Doctor Bleeding Heart set me up on a date with. I really don't have time for this shit right now."
"Hi, Coal!" A pretty mare in her early forties beamed as the doctor opened the door. "You haven't returned my calls so I figured maybe you've just been really busy lately."
"You got that right. Did you need something? I'm with a patient right now."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I mean, if we could just talk out here, I'll only take just a minute."
"Uh huh..."
I've got a bad feeling about this. From what I've gathered, Doctor Bleeding Heart tried to help Coal Hammer get out into the dating world and despite the former's good intentions, the latter is anything but interested. I haven't dated a whole lot but I've had a coltfriend before and dating typically entails occasional displays of affection and this mare doesn't seem to be aware of Coal Hammer's strong dislike for physical contact. I hope she doesn't have to learn the hard way as she seems to really like him.
"So um, now that I've got you here..." The mare began, her voice coming in clear through the closed paper thin door. "I was just wondering if you were busy this weekend and if you're not maybe we could go out again."
"Yes, I'm going to be incredibly busy this weekend." Coal Hammer curtly replied.
"Oh. Okay, how about Tuesday? My schedule is pretty flexible, I can move some days around."
"I don't see any free days in the foreseeable future. Now if you'll excuse me..."
The door slowly creaked open as Coal Hammer began to trot back in and for a moment, it started to appear as if the crisis I perceived a moment ago would be averted. Clutzy and I breathed a sigh of short lived relief before what happened next that caused our pupils to shrink down to pinpricks. My pulse quickened as the scene seemingly transpired in slow motion. There is going to be some serious trouble.
"Coal, please, I really like you and I think we really hit it off before." The hurt mare said as she reached out to place a hoof on Coal Hammer's shoulder. "I just wanted to get to know you bet-"
"Bwaaahhaahaaahhh!!" Coal Hammer screamed as he flared his wings out and swiftly backed away from the startled mare, the latter on the verge of crying. "Don't fucking touch me!! Don't ever touch me!!"
"I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you, I didn't know you had a problem wit-"
"Just get the fuck out of here!! Don't ever talk to me again!!"
The now broken hearted mare then galloped away as she sobbed profusely and Coal Hammer just stood there and stared off into space. Now, I'm no mental health expert but my theory that I developed before just seems to be holding more and more water. I can feel it in my bones, there's an impending meltdown and sure enough, Coal Hammer collapsed to the floor with his face buried in his hooves and his wings covering the top of his head. He's having some sort of a panic attack and I can do nothing but stand over here and watch helplessly as he freaks out. Normally, a comforting hug or a pat on the back is a good way to calm somepony down but that's obviously out of the question. He obviously needs therapy as much if not more than I do.
"Nooohohohooohh!!" Coal Hammer screamed as he lay on his stomach on the floor as he underwent a meltdown. "Daaad, Mooom, Pleeeaaase don't touch me again!! Not again!! Get away from meee!!!"
I didn't know what to do. The only thing I could do was just let him be and allow his panic attack to take its course. It all made sense now, everything was all coming together. He despises pedofoals with a passion unmatched by anything I've ever seen, hates being touched to the point of chasing away potential meaningful relationships and experiencing an episode. His freezing on the spot before freaking out must have been some memories of traumatic events coming back to him and to top it all off, he reveals that it involved his parents. That's when mine and Doctor Bleeding Heart's theory was just proven correct as clear as day. There is no other conclusion that can be drawn from this. My doctor is a sexual abuse survivor.
Author's Note
Here's this to hold you over for now. Things will only go downhill from here and we will get to know Coal Hammer and better understand his goals.
Chapter 12: By the Drill or the Slug
After somewhat gathering his composure, Doctor Coal Hammer retreated into the small restroom within his office and from the splashing I'm hearing coming from the sink, I assume he must be soaking his face. Clutzy and I are speechless right now. I'd gone from thinking this guy was just a cold, soulless asshole to instead find out that he's a broken stallion who experienced a trauma that I could never match. I will never complain about my own woes again, this guy has been through far worse.
I honestly don't know what I could do or say to help but I'd really like to try but it would need to be approached delicately. He's made it clear that his foalhood is a sore subject for him to talk about. The only pony who has the proper education and expertise on this subject and the only one I trust here is Doctor Bleeding Heart. I need to find him so I can tell him what's going on. Not to be mean but Coal Hammer should probably be a patient rather than a doctor.
After a few minutes of just sitting there quietly, the door to the restroom slowly and silently swings open revealing a troubled panting and shivering Doctor Coal Hammer, his face soaking wet just like I'd suspected. Not only had he splashed water over his face but I find it safe to say that sweat and tears were also included. His eyes were bloodshot and the already prevalent dark circles had become even more apparent. On top of that, his wings had drooped and were dragging on the ground which is a telltale symptom of severe depression in a pegasus. The only thing he had to help himself relax was a smoldering cigarette in his clenched teeth.
"Um, Creampuff let's, uhh..." Coal Hammer stuttered as he continued to shiver. "...let's just call it a day. I'm not feeling well."
"O-okay." I replied.
Much like every day for the past week or so I've been here, Coal Hammer escorted me back to my room, let me trot in and shut and locked the door behind me. I was left there with nothing but my own thoughts and Clutzy who was just as flabbergasted as I was. We didn't need to say anything, he and I were close enough friends that we could already tell that we both agreed what our new main priority was from here on out. We need to find Doctor Bleeding Heart and make him aware of the situation with Coal Hammer. He needs the help more than I do.
Over the next several days, it was the same shit, different shovel. Coal Hammer would collect me from my room, I'd look around for Bleeding Heart while with the former while Clutzy did the same. He came through the wall one day while I was getting some wacky ct scan on my head and told me that he had found him on the far end of the hospital and that it would be tricky to get to him. The security guards aren't just going to allow a patient to freely roam the halls of the facility and unfortunately, I'm not invisible.
I will say though, there is a silver lining, as the little experiments that Coal Hammer has been making me do are nowhere near as bad or painful as the first one. Speaking of which, I can't help but think I've seen something like that before. I think it was some movie from the eighties. Ah, I digress. After nearly another week of the same shit, I feel like I have to just wing it and tell somepony, anypony. However, I can't seem to get anypony else alone save for Coal Hammer himself. I don't know what the hell I'm going to do and Clutzy and I are running out of ideas to some up with and rule out because it wouldn't work for whatever reason.
At this point, we haven't the slightest clue what we could do and I paced back and forth in my room really jarring my brain while Clutzy floated about, trying to do the same. I didn't pay it any mind at first but something outside the window caught Cluty's attention and he floated over and stuck his head through the door. After a moment, he floated back and gave an excited gasp. What's going on?
"Creampuff! You've gotta see this!" Clutzy called over, snapping me out of my train of thought. Look who it is!"
Curious as to what Clutzy could be going on about, I trotted over and stood on my back legs as to be able to just barely peak out the window to the hallway. Damn my short stature...anyway, I honestly thought I was hallucinating when sure enough I could see none other than Doctor Coal Hammer slowly trotting down the hall and he was accompanied by the last two ponies I'd ever expect to see. Having traveled all the way from Canterlot to Saltzicuse and now trotting past me in the hall were Princesses Celestia and Luna and they didn't appear to be here on the most pleasant of circumstances.
"What the hell are they doing here!?" I gasped.
"I head some ponies talking about Bleeding Heart making a complaint to them." Clutzy replied. "The royal sisters have been cracking down on corruption and illegal misconduct at prisons, police departments and hospitals. That was quick too, they didn't waste any time coming here!"
"Shit, I can't hear them. What are they saying?"
"I'm on it."
The door to my room is heavily padded and completely soundproof so I won't be able to yell and grab their attention. To top that all off, I can't reach the window to pound on the glass with my hooves and anything I could otherwise use to stand on is bolted to the floor. All I can do now is let Clutzy do his thing as he poked his head through the door to eavesdrop on the conversation and relay the messages to me.
"Jeez, Coal Hammer is assuring them that there's nothing funny going on here and that a false report was made by a disgruntled staff member." Clutzy said before poking his head out again. "Celestia isn't convinced and he's grilling him about...hang on...missing patients?"
"Missing patients!?" I gasped. "How could patients at a high security facility go missing!?"
"Hang on, I'll keep listening...Coal Hammer is making some excuse that there was a glitch in the system and that many patients from the sex offender ward were transferred to another hospital...shit, he didn't even hesitate with that answer. He must have seen them coming...Uhh, Celestia's asking to see the files and...Coal Hammer said no? What gives?"
"Something's going on here and I've got a really made feeling about it."
"Same. Whoa, they're really getting heated out there. Hang on...Luna said to Celestia that he's in his legal right to block their request and that they need more proof and a warrant to go any further. There's not much else they can do until then...Celestia warned Coal Hammer they'll be investigating it and they'll be back as soon as they find anything...and that if they do, she'll never have been so disappointed in all her life...what does she mean by that?"
"Maybe they know each other well."
"Maybe. She keeps calling him Coal, like they go back or something."
Clutzy and I watched helplessly as Celestia and Luna trotted down the hall away from a triumphant Coal Hammer before turning down the other hallway. I couldn't grab their attention if I tried. I can't even reach the window well enough to wave my hooves around, though the fact that Bleeding Heart had gone over Coal Hammer's head and reported him means there is still hope. I don't even care if Coal Hammer gets in trouble or not, I just think he should be getting therapy of his own before something really bad happens.
It's true, he can legally deny anypony access to medical files no matter who it is who requests them but that doesn't change the fact that it's suspicious. But what of the missing patients? Coincidentally, they're mostly from the sex offender ward too. Coal Hammer explicitly expressed that he hates them so much that he would shoot them all without so much as batting an eyelash. So much of this stuff makes sense but then none at the same time! What, is he killing them off or something? No. There's no way he could kill several ponies and be able to cover it up...is there?
Now it's more imperative that somepony finds out about this more than ever. Coal Hammer may be a victim as much as he is a perpetrator of...something, but either way, I have a sinking feeling that he's a ticking time bomb and it won't be long before he goes off. Now that we're aware of a possibility that he could be experimenting on other patients and maybe even killing them, I'm all the more worried.
Well, for whatever reason, I was given breakfast, left in my room, given lunch, left in my room, given dinner and...still left in my room. This is the very first day that I wasn't allowed outside my room at some point throughout the day. If something wasn't right before, now I really smell fish. And I'm talking like a big fat rotting carp from Ondamonia Lake. Yeah, that strong. It was when a sudden yet faint click from the lock on my door being undone that the metaphorical stench became unbearable.
"Sorry to keep you waiting, dear, but I had a few things come up." Doctor Coal Hammer said nonchalantly as he stepped in. "We have a fun one today and that'll be all for the tests I want to do. So just come with me and it'll be quick. Promise."
"...No..." I said firmly as I backed up and lowered my head as I pawed at the floor with a forehoof. "I'm not going anywhere with you."
"Making it difficult? Huh, that's not like you. Why the sudden attitude?"
"Because I know what's going on around here!! Patients are going missing and now you come to me and tell me there's one last experiment!? You'll make it quick!? You're planning on killing me!!"
"Can we get security over here? We've got a belligerent patient."
My pupils shrank to pinpricks as two beefy security guards galloped in and one proceeded to place me in a choke hold while the other used his aura to hold my otherwise bucking back legs in place. Try as I might to resist, Coal Hammer and this facility have got me right where they want me. Typical for a disturbed mental patient to resist or attempt to fight against hospital staff and that's exactly what they perceive this to be as far as they are concerned, it's all in my head. From babbling on about missing ponies to accusing a healthcare professional of trying to take my life, to them, I'm just a crazy mare coming up with absurd ideas that aren't true.
"You know, Creampuff, I actually had begun to somewhat tolerate you." Coal Hammer said calmly as he readied a syringe while his goons held me in place. "Until now, you were...mostly cooperative. It's a shame, really."
At that, Coal Hammer plunged the needle into my neck and my body instantly had begun to go limp. Clutzy was livid and was panicking worse than I'd ever seen before but within seconds, I was completely unaware of anything going on around me. Before I knew it, everything went dark. Everything was nothing but a pitch black void.
I don't know how much time had past but some unknown amount of time later, I slowly faded in and out of consciousness. As I gradually came to, the first thing I notice was a familiar voice of a young friend of mine muttering to himself as he floated back and forth before me. As always, my dear pal Clutzy had stayed by my side and followed me to wherever I was brought to. I'd never seen him like this before. I've seen him panic before but he darted around the room in a frenzy and was acting like a schizophrenic. He was talking so fast I couldn't even understand what he was saying.
"Creampuff!!" Clutzy screamed as he noticed me coming to. "Oh my Lauren fucking Faust, what am I gonna do!?"
"Clutzy I ca...whuna fuggis giono-"
"HE'S GONNA LOBOTOMIZE YOU!!!"
No further information whatsoever would be required as that was more than enough to kick my adrenaline into overdrive and nearly instantly expedite the drug wearing off. Within seconds, I was snapped out of my daze and acquainted with my new situation. I was strapped down to a stretcher once again in Coal Hammer's office and according to my close friend who would never bullshit me, I would soon be having part of my brain taken out. I would find out exactly when momentarily as the mad scientist himself trotted in with a befuddled look on his face.
"Huh...odd, the drug should have lasted much longer than that for a pony your size." Coal Hammer said nonchalantly as he began jotting something down on a clipboard in his hoof. "You must have a resistance to it. Not many ponies have that."
"Doctor! Please...let's talk about this!!" I begged as I wriggled around in my confined state. "L-l-look, we can be friends here, right!? We've both been dealt a shitty hoof! Let's talk!"
"No need, dear, I've already gotten all the information out of you that I need and once I have a sample of your brain, you'll be pushing me that much closer to my goal."
My body felt the similar quickened heart rate and rush of adrenaline I experienced when I was just about to jump to my death a couple months ago and this time, my mind was opposed to dying. Clutzy and I both panicked like never before as the psychopathic Doctor Coal Hammer pushed a cart over to the operating table I was strapped to and began preparing various electronic instruments such as drills and circular saws. Today, I'm actually going to fucking die...
"You can't just take a fucking piece of my brain out!!" I screamed, desperate to somehow be able to reason with him at the last moment. "You'll kill me!! I won't survive this!!"
"I'm fully aware of that." Coal Hammer said calmly as if he were having a normal conversation. "And it'll just be a lot more painful and drawn out if you flail around like that. Now hold sti-"
Slam! Slam! Slam!...Crash!
Just before I was to have my skull sawn open, Coal Hammer, Clutzy, and myself were jarred out of our prior focus by sudden commotion at the locked door to the office in which I was about to be murdered. A glimmer of hope and my saving grace in the form of a familiar purple colored hoof smashing through the hazy window and reaching for the door knob could be my ticket to freedom. The one living pony here I can trust, one of my only two friends within this clusterfuck of a facility, Doctor Bleeding Heart nearly busted the door off its hinges as he powered his way in.
Coal Hammer was caught in a brutal act and save for the day I hit Clutzy with my car, I've never seen anypony look so horrified as Bleeding Heart looked right now. He too was in a fight or flight mode as his pupils were just about fully dilated and he looked like he was ready to start swinging at the psycho who was about to split my head open. If Bleeding Heart can overpower Coal Hammer, or if the latter gives himself up then I'm as good as saved.
"Coal Hammer!!" Bleeding Heart screamed in pure unadulterated horror as he witnessed me about to be murdered. "What the fuck are you doing to her!?"
"Heeere we go again." Coal Hammer sighed as he rolled his eyes and switched his death machine off. "You wouldn't understand. You never understood anything I've been trying to accomplish."
"Save it, you sick fuck! I now know what you've been doing behind everypony's backs and the authorities are about to find out too!"
"Oh? How do you figure?"
"Because I've got all the proof Celestia and Luna need to put you away for a very long time! Just take a look at all this!"
Bleeding Heart then whipped a thick folder, a dossier of some sort out of his lab coat and opened it up with his aura as the contents floated around him for all of us to see. All kinds of gruesome photographs, email logs, and a thick wad of all kinds of incriminating paperwork flooded the air within Bleeding Heart's unicorn aura. This is exactly what would be needed to put a stop to whatever sick, twisted operation Coal Hammer is running here and...honestly, I think he needs help more than punishment but that's just my own humble opinion.
"Glad you're here." Coal Hammer said with a bemused frown as he trotted over towards his desk. "I have a bone to pick with you."
"Oh shut up, will you?" Bleeding Heart huffed angrily as he wasted no time undoing the tight straps that held me in place. He then turned his gaze down to me and as such, his expression grew much softer like before. "I'm so sorry. I'll never let him hurt you again."
"Th-thank you so much." I sobbed.
"Now what exactly makes you think I've been doing this behind everypony's back? How do you know the rest of the staff isn't working with me?"
"On second thought, keep on talking, you're just giving digging yourself a deeper hole." Bleeding Heart hissed through his teeth.
"You'd be surprised what ponies are willing to do for the cash we get from selling all these organs to fund our operation."
"You...fucking degenerate!"
Bleeding Heart couldn't seem to focus, he was so angry. For whatever reason, Coal Hammer was singing like a bird and doing nothing but revealing more and more of his and his staff's wrongdoing. Having difficulty fumbling with the straps that confined me, he turned to face his rival to offer his own two bits.
"You monster!!" Bleeding Heart screamed as he lowered his head as if he were about to physically attack Coal Hammer. "These ponies are mentally ill patients who are here because they need our help...and you're experimenting on them like...fucking lab rats!! You've completely spat in the face of the Hippocratic oath!!"
After he had said his piece, Bleeding Heart turned back to me to resume undoing my straps and setting me free. Since Bleeding Heart was standing over me, I couldn't see what Coal Hammer was doing but I could hear him opening a drawer on his desk and a series of metallic clicking and clacking. It sounded like he was filling a stapler or something. What the hell could he be doing that for?
"Uh...Creampuff?" Clutzy said nervously as he floated just behind Bleeding Heart.
"Why'd you have to rat on me, Bleeding Heart?" Coal Hammer asked angrily.
Click! Click! Kaclack!
What the fuck is he doing!? What's that clicking sound!?
"We could have worked together on this, you know." Coal Hammer continued as he slowly trotted over behind Bleeding Heart, the latter paying no mind to the former.
"C-Creee...Creampuff!?" A frightened Clutzy stuttered. "He-he's got a...he-he's g-got a g-g-g..."
"As intelligent as you are, you would have otherwise been an asset to my little...organization." Coal Hammer stood right behind Bleeding Heart as he pressed a strange object that I couldn't see against the back of the good doctor's head. My and Bleeding Heart's pupils shrank to pinpricks as we both suddenly realized what was about to happen. "I'll tell your missus and little ones goodbye for you."
"HIT THE DECK!!! HE'S PACKING!!!" Clutzy shrieked in terror at the top of his lungs.
POW!
Author's Note
Wrote this all on one of the few so called "days off" I get. Day off? What the hell is that? Enjoy for now and expect an interesting plot twist on my next installment. In the meantime, I've got the ingredients for a nice hot reuben sandwich in the fridge and they're calling my name.
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Chapter 13: If you Entrust your Life to a Ten Year Old...
The unbearable ringing in my ears seemingly took an eternity to subside, even my vision was blurred as if a howitzer just went off a mere few feet away from my face. It reminded me of the stories my grandfather shared with me about a war he was wounded in, how he was nearly deafened and blinded but he was lucky enough for that to have only been temporary. After the ringing in my ears and my blurry vision at long last subsided, I could attempt to truly grasp what I had just bore witness to which would be easier said than done.
I can taste the blood that has splattered all over me, the operating table I lay on, the floor and many other spots within the room. Having flopped his now limp body to the floor was the only pony in this facility I can trust, Doctor Bleeding heart was now gushing crimson from a half inch hole in the back of his skull as he involuntarily twitched and foamed at the mouth. Though he moaned and wheezed incoherently as a lead slug had just destroyed his brain, he was completely braindead and within seconds, so too would be his whole body.
Needless to say, Clutzy was going absolutely nuts as he was helpless to stop the atrocity he and I had just witnessed and whatever may become of me. Was I next? Would Coal Hammer just put a bullet through my brain and get his sample that way? At first I thought he was just a cold and grumpy stallion, then I thought he was a little touched in the head. I soon realized that he was a victim of trauma and now, he had just revealed his true colors. He's been through some pretty horrible shit, I get it. Nothing in this world can excuse the act of shooting somepony in the back of the head. They way Coal Hammer acted after the fact however, was just the beginning and it in itself made this all the more disturbing.
"You got blood on my lab coat." Coal Hammer said with an annoyed huff.
I can't wrap my head around this. How can any equine being or any sentient creature commit such a vile, despicable act and shrug it off like he just spilled a glass of wine? Having seen this, I was starting to look at my own mistake in a new light. That's exactly what it was, a mistake. It was unintentional and I felt like shit and even tried to take my own life to atone for it. Coal Hammer just trotted up behind Bleeding Heart and shot him in the back of the head with the large caliber semi-automatic pistol he held in his right wing, the hot, sulfurous smoke still wafting from the barrel. And I thought my mistake was unforgivable, this dirty, cowardly, crooked act truly was. This was no mistake. This was intentional. This was a sneaky, cowardly, low down, atrocious act. This was a murder.
"You killed him, you fucking bastard!!" I screamed hysterically as I flailed about within the few straps that still held me in place.
"Yes, clearly you have functioning eyes." Coal Hammer replied as he used a cloth to wipe Bleeding Heart's blood from off his face. "Congratulations."
"He was the only one here who tried to help ponies you scumbag!! I so badly wanted to give you a chance!! I Know you had it rough but you're a murderer!!"
"Humph. Apparently I let too much information regarding my past slip." Coal Hammer then retreated back to his desk and picked up the phone that sat atop as to dial one of the hospital's extensions. "Yes, this is Coal Hammer, can we get a couple guys from security to remove a...neutralized threat...oh, and a janitor too. It got a bit messy."
The only thing I knew how to do was to try to mentally block this out which of course doesn't help any but in a situation like this, instincts will kick in. As Clutzy hugged me tight while I shut my eyes and bawled at the murder of a good friend and the very likely possibility of being killed soon myself, Coal Hammer trotted out the door that Bleeding Heart broke through. All I had left at this point was my little ghost buddy who I might soon be joining in his limbo. The only solace I had left was the fact that I was finally at peace with my friends and neighbors.
"Well, you're lucky for now since you're contaminated." Coal Hammer said as he trotted out the busted door to presumably go clean himself off. "Can't take your brain out with somepony else's fluids littering the scene now can I?"
Though I was to be spared from the time being, it was only delaying what appeared to be inevitable. I could do nothing but lay there and weep while Clutzy once again stroked my mane and I soaked my face in my tears. I wept for the fact that I would never see my parents and my friends ever again and the fact that such a wonderful pony caught in a cesspool of monsters was so senselessly shot execution style mere inches from me. It was hopeless. I only wish I could tell everypony goodbye.
"What the...what just happened?" A familiar, quivering voice asked a mere few feet from Clutzy and I.
Needless to say, Clutzy and I were immensely confused as we shifted our gaze to my left as I still lie on my back to see something...unexpected to say the least. I felt similar to how I felt when I first saw Clutzy's spirit the night I tried to end my own life. I wasn't sure if I was hallucinating from the wacky shit Coal Hammer injected me with or I truly was going crazy. For whatever reason, Clutzy and I were looking at two Bleeding Hearts, one lying motionless in a puddle of blood that leaked from his skull and the other standing there gawking at the former. My little ghost buddy were flabbergasted and could do nothing but gawk ourselves until the oddly translucent version of Bleeding Heart finally broke the silence.
"Is that...me?" The new Bleeding Heart asked himself as he knelt down to examine the now deceased husk he just arose from. "What...the fuck is going on here!?" He then snapped his gaze up to Clutzy who had begun floating towards him. "Gah! Who the hell are you!? This place is too dangerous for young kids!"
"Um...wow, this is...awkward." Clutzy said as he scratched the back of his head and sunk down to the ground.
"How did you do that!? How did you just float without using your aura!?"
"Long story. Got a minute?"
"Creampuff! Oh my Faust, are you okay!?"
I was rendered totally speechless and I was still questioning whether this was really happening as Bleeding Heart once again attempted to undo the straps that still held me down to no avail. He looked puzzled as to why his hooves kept going through everything he tried to touch. Sinch he's a brand new ghost, he isn't able to touch anything quite yet. Clutzy is a little more able in that regard as he's been floating in limbo for over a year and he has told me that it seems to get even stronger over time.
"I can't seem to...get it!" Bleeding Heart huffed in frustration. "Why isn't my horn working!? And who the hell is that guy on the floor!? Gahh, nothing makes sense anymore!! What's going on here!?"
"D-Doctor?" I asked with a trembling voice. "This is Clutzy, the colt I told you about. You can see him now because...Coal Hammer just shot you..."
After another moment of us gawking at each other in awkward silence, Bleeding Heart plopped down on his haunches and continued to stare at his lifeless body on the floor. Try as he might to deny that we was no longer living within his own body, he finally came to the realization and proceeded to bawling, similar to what Clutzy felt when he realized that he was deceased.
"Nooohohoho!!" Bleeding Heart screamed in pure anguish as he sat on his rump and attempted to weep. "Nooo, this just can't be!! I can't be dead!! Who will...mow am I gonna...My kids!! I can't be there for my wife and kids!! What the fucking fuck!!"
Clutzy and I both agreed that it would be best just to allow Bleeding Heart to let it all out and not disturb him until he was finished or spoke to us first. Bleeding Heart paced back and forth and ranted and raved about his plans in life that he would now never be able to achieve and it wasn't long before he learned that he could no longer physically feel anything much to his further dismay.
"I can't even fucking cry anymore!!" Bleeding Heart bawled as he threw his head back and paused for a moment. "...Coal hammer...how could you?...I always knew he was a prick and had his fair share of demons but...not like this..."
In my still confined state, Clutzy and I continued to give Bleeding Heart his space as he still sat on his butt and sulked in silence, mumbling about how he never took Coal Hammer for a murderer until he found the evidence. His only mistake was turning his back to the psycho, giving him the opening to swoop up behind him and put a bullet in his head. I can't stress enough, I get it, Coal Hammer was somehow abused by ponies who he should have been able to trust. I definitely sympathize with him for that but I can't overlook the act of shooting somepony point blank.
Soon, a few sets of hoofsteps clicked down the hallway and ultimately ended up in the office in which I was still bound to stretcher in the form of two hospital security guards and a janitor toting a mop and a bucket. Upon seeing them, Bleeding Heart went livid and expressed his shock and utter disappointment that they were all in cahoots with Coal Hammer's corruption ring the whole time. The two security guards struggled to life Bleeding Heart's limp body off the floor and onto another gurney they had brought with him as the janitor proceeded to clean up the crime scene, much to mine, Clutzy's, and Bleeding Heart's dismay.
"Hnnggg uh!...Jeez, should have skipped a few desserts, big guy!" A security guard grunted as he and his colleague lifted Bleeding Heart's chubby body up onto the stretcher.
"Yeah, no wonder he was diabetic!" The other said with a sickening chuckle.
I honestly can't wrap my head around how so many slimeballs can end up in the same place. The whole entire time, the rest of the staff has been working along with Coal Hammer's twisted plans and Bleeding Heart was an unfortunate innocent bystander caught up in the clusterfuck and paid for it with his life. After the two stallions wheeled Bleeding Heart's body out of the room and the janitor continued to mop up the blood and small pieces of brain and skull fragments, Coal Hammer finally trotted back in, his mane and tale freshly washed and donning a clean lab coat.
"It's a shame it had to come to this." Coal Hammer said as he trotted in while he used his wings to wipe and polish his pistol with a cloth. "And as a diabetic, his organs won't go for much either." He then glances down at me as I'm still strapped to the stretcher, going out of my way to avoid eye contact. I can't get myself to look at him. "Take her back up to her room. We'll try this again tomorrow."
"Why?..." I sobbed. "Why are you doing this? Why did you kill him?"
"Since you're about to die tomorrow and are in no position to alert the authorities, I may as well tell you." Coal Hammer trotted behind as his two mooks wheeled my away while Clutzy and a still confused Bleeding Heart followed suit. "I'll start with the basics and try to keep it simple enough for you to understand. See, very few ponies have the same ability you have. Anypony that can see one ghost can see all of them. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if you're seeing Bleeding Heart right now..."
An enraged Bleeding Heart made an attempt to pummel Coal Hammer to no avail as we all entered the elevator, the former's hooves just passing right through the latter. Clutzy placed a comforting hoof on the good doctor's shoulder as we rode the elevator upward.
"I'm a pacifist!!" Bleeding Heart cried out as he face hoofed. "I'm so pissed, he made me break my own sworn code of peace! Fuck you, Coal Hammer!"
"...not only that, but if you really look hard, you can probably see some of the restess spirits of deceased patients trotting about." Coal Hammer continued. "Seen any strange ponies wearing gowns around here? They're few and far between but they're around...so that being said, let me explain my goal here. Most ponies don't know this or refuse to admit it but or species is inherently evil. Every single one of us. There exists no truly, genuinely good pony...or any sentient being for that ma-"
"That's not true!!" I cried out in anguish at the horrible things Coal Hammer was saying. "How could you think that!? There are so many good creatures out there!! Why would you think such a horrible thing!?"
"Rude, interrupting me like that. Where was I?...oh yeah, notice how these guys are willing to do this shit that we're doing without batting an eye?"
Coal Hammer, his two henchponies, myself, Clutzy and Bleeding Heart finally reached my room and as one of the guards readied a key to unlock the door, the psycho who had me in his clutches pulled a few wads of very large notes from the pockets of his coat. Big, fat wads of Equestrian Hundred Bit Bills were what Coal Hammer held in his hoof to which his cronies helped themselves to one each with a roll of their eyes as they were aware of what remained of his monologue.
"Self interest...greed..." Coal Hammer continued. "It's what ponies are made of, nothing more. Some certainly worse than others but we all are just shit wrapped in skin with some fur slapped on it. Nopony truly cares for one another, most of us are all just brainwashed into thinking we do, and a small hoof full of us are smart enough to realize that it's all just a bunch of horse shit. That's why I have something very special and quite overdue in store for equinity."
"What happened to you, Coal!?" I sobbed as I was wheeled into my room and my straps undone by the guards. "What did your parents do to you!?"
"Ask me that one more time and I'm going to drill your skull very slowly tomorrow. Now get yourself cleaned up so we can just get it over with. Enjoy your last night alive, mkay?"
With that, Coal Hammer then trotted out of the room before his two goons tipped the stretcher over, dumping me off of it and onto the floor. It seemed as if the shock of being a ghost was starting to wear off for Bleeding Heart as he and Clutzy rushed to my side to hug me tight as I cried what would be my very last tears. Mere months ago, I wanted to end my life and took this wonderful gift for granted. Now, I want to live to see my parents and my friends. I want to live to be able to realize my dream and open my own veterinary clinic. I want to someday find my mister right and have foals of my own. It's all about to be thrown away and I can't reason with my soon to be killer no matter what I said.
I wonder if his parents are still around. I wonder if they're aware of the monster they created. Whatever it was that they did to him, it turned him into a self loathing, angry, bitter, hateful, cynical, cold, sociopath of an equine being who thinks nothing of blowing a hole in somepony's head. Who knows how many murders he's committed? He may have killed dozens of ponies to acquire that kind of volume of cash from selling their organs and something tells me he's not doing all this for the money. He said he has something in store for equinity! I'm scared! I'm scared not just for me for of what he might do to so many others if he isn't stopped! But what the fuck can any of us do!?
"We need to alert the royal sisters." Bleeding Heart said as he sprang back up to his ghostly hooves. "And I think I know how we can do it."
"Really? How?" A very hopeful Clutzy asked.
"If one of us can get to canterlot, we can get into the palace library. There is a restricted section that we can get into and find a book on revealing the presence of...well, ghosts. It makes it so everypony can see them. It's a long shot but I think it can work."
"What else can we do?" I asked. "What have we go to lose?"
"Creampuff...I'm so sorry I doubted you. I theorized that your mind was tricking you into seeing Clutzy out of guilt. If I would have known..."
"Doctor, it's okay, you have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one who should be sorry that you had to die to find out."
"You're not the one who pulled the trigger and blew my brains out. We need to act now though, we can't just sit here and panic. I need to get to Canterlot and get into that library to draw attention to ourselves. I guess I can pass through walls now so it shouldn't be hard. I know right where it is."
"Well intended, I don't think that'll work too well." Clutzy interjected.
That's not like Clutzy to have doubts. What do we have to lose by trying. Worst case scenario, we try nothing and I join them in their realm after getting a hole drilled into my skull. If we do try and that still happens...well, at least we can say we tried. Our efforts wouldn't end in vain no matter the outcome. We just have to try something.
"Clutzy, why would you think that?" I asked, immensely confused by his sudden cynicism.
"It won't, trust me." Clutzy curtly replied.
"Well, I'm going to try anyway." Bleeding Heart said firmly as he galloped towards the wall that bordered to the outside. "I'll be back as quick as I can. Do whatever you can to stall Coa-OOF!"
As Bleeding Heart bumped into the wall and bounced off of it causing him to tumble about in the air, I suddenly remembered something Clutzy once told me. Because he died outdoors, he is able to go wherever he wants unimpeded. Any ghost that dies within the walls of a building is confined to said structure until he or she departs to the afterlife or the structure burns or collapses. That's why spirits of those who passed away within the houses they haunt can't leave. In fact, there was an infamous mansion in Japone that collapsed in 1989 and flickering lights that were formerly restless spirits were seen shooting up into the sky. Ah, I digress.
"Whoooaaah, how do I steer myself!?" Bleeding Heart groaned as he tumbled through the air and through the floor and walls that didn't lead to outside.
"Here, I've got you!" Clutzy said as he floated over to help the rookie ghost get his bearings. "Okay, there. Look, try this. When you're standing on the ground, just give yourself a tiny little push upward. When you're off the ground, just lean in whatever direction you want to float. It's easy."
"Like this?"
"Yeah, there you go! Okay, so you go ahead and practice this and I'll take care of the attention grabbing...and maybe grabbing some...other stuff while I'm at it."
"Huh?"
"N-never mind. I'll go ahead and try to get a hold of somepony who can help."
"Time is of the essence. You have to hurry or Creampuff and countless others may die."
"I'm on it. I'll be back as soon as I can."
With that, Clutzy bolted through the wall and out to the city. Bleeding Heart and I watched as he floated his way towards Equestria's capitol city in hopes of finding a way to save me and possibly other lives as well. It was all up to my little ghost buddy at this point and I now entrust my life to him. In the meantime, Bleeding Heart and myself were left to discuss other possible options should this one fail...even after hours of going over it, we couldn't think of any. Clutzy is our only hope.
Chapter 14: A More Transparent Blight
Bleeding Heart and I had decided to pick up where we left off when he was originally assigned to be my therapist before Coal Hammer yanked us apart. Though we had a nice time catching up and better getting to know each other, one fact still remained that was still rather depressing. No, scratch that, two facts. One being that Bleeding Heart is now dead and his physical body is being placed into a refrigerated morgue as we speak and his wife and foals will never see him again. Secondly, come tomorrow morning, one of two things would happen.
The possibility of having my skull drilled open and parts of my brain cut out of me was very real. Clutzy somehow grabbing somepony's attention and ultimately alerting them to the situation I'm in and the horrible atrocities Coal Hammer and his goons were committing was all we could hope for at this point. Needless to say, I can't sleep to save my life, which ironically was in real danger of ending and unlike the reason I was here in the first place, I wanted to live. Clutzy is my only hope right now. Huh, funny. The pony who's life I accidentally ended is trying to save mine. Not like ha ha funny, just ironic I guess.
I've never been so stressed out and anxious in my life. When I was taken to court and sentenced, I knew what was coming to me but right now, it's anypony's guess. I'm either going to die and Coal Hammer will continue to hurt and kill ponies to his heart's content, or his operation will be exposed and he can be stopped. I was going to say that he would get what he deserves but I'm really mixed on what should happen to him. He's doing so many wicked, evil things to ponies, and on the other hoof, he's clearly ailing himself. He's sick and belongs here as a patient, not staff. What has he gone through that makes him despise his own species? I have a general idea but no details...I'm not so sure I even want them.
It took hours that seemed like years for Celestia's sun to start shining through the windows. Not long after, at around seven o'clock in the morning, the telltale clicking of a key being stuck into the lock on my door sounded the alarm in my head for my impending death. Sure enough, as Bleeding Heart held me close as best he could, two security guards stepped in, promptly grabbed me and shoved me on to the gurney they had brought before tightly strapping me down.
I feel like an inmate on death row. Everything was quiet on our way to the elevator and down the hall to the room in which I was to be lobotomized. Nopony said a word. In all honesty, I didn't want to talk to them. In a way, they are killing me too and helping Coal Hammer kill and torment others before me. As the two guards wheeled me through the door, my grim reaper in the form of Coal Hammer himself prepared his instruments as he waited for me. It was at this point that Bleeding Heart and I knew that Clutzy couldn't alert anypony in time. It was all over.
It's okay. We tried. If I'm lucky, Coal Hammer will just give me a sedative and make it quick. It's okay. Everything is going to be okay. I can depart this world with newly cleaned hooves and knowing that I'm at peace with those who I upset. My only regret is that I couldn't say goodbye to my friends and my parents. I just wish they wouldn't have to go through this, losing me and all. Everything has a silver lining through. Maybe some of my organs could be used to help somepony who needs them. It's okay. It's going to be okay.
"Sleep well?" Coal Hammer asked as he sharpened one of his whacky little tools. "I mean, it doesn't really matter now, you're going to sleep permanently in just a moment."
"I have nothing to say to you..." I sobbed quietly with my eyes shut tight. I don't even want to look at him.
"Mkay. Well, I'm just gonna go ahead and give you a little shot here and before you know it, you'll just start to drift off. Just try to relax while I administer the drug and there's a slight chance that it might not hurt like a motherfu-"
"Doc, we've got a problem!" A pony, one of the nurses who usually works at the reception desk said aloud as she burst through the door. "I tried to stop them but, they're on to us! They're not buying any more excuses!"
"Shit! Her parents again!? They've become a real thorn in my side!"
"Wha...Mom!? Dad!?" I cried out in hopes of getting their attention. "I'm in he-mff!"
Knowing that Coal Hammer wasn't going to do it as it would otherwise require him to touch me, the nurse quickly lept over and firmly placed a hoof over my mouth to silence me. Coal Hammer then quickly began rummaging around in a drawer and produced a roll of duct tape before tossing it over to his accomplis.
"Tape her fucking mouth shut and don't hesitate to knock her right out if she tries to scream." Coal Hammer commanded as he made his way to the door of the room in which I was being held. "I'll deal with her parents."
I watched Coal Hammer leap out the door with my mouth taped shut and the nurse standing over me as she quietly threatened me with a rather sizable hammer. If I make any sound, she'll bash my skull in with it. If I don't, my skull will get drilled and cut open. Which fate is worse? What if my parents don't leave and Coal Hammer hurts them? I've already seen what he's capable of and he wouldn't bat an eye at shooting my parents with the big ass pistol of his. Well, those possibilities are pretty damn real at this point because Coal Hammer slid to an abrupt halt as the door swung shut. Somepony is blocking his path and he doesn't appear to much care for it.
"Start talking! Where is she!?" None other than my mother demanded as she and my Dad happened to be right outside the door.
"Ah, Mister and Missus Lime..." Coal Hammer said nervously as he tried to diffuse the situation. "Look, now is just not the time to visit Creampuff, she's undergoing very intense ther-"
"Ohhh no you don't!" My father snapped, cutting him off. "There's something going on here and I don't fucking like it!"
"Look, if you two would just calm down and think logical-"
"For the past three fucking weeks, we've been trying to see our girl! The first time, we were blocked! The week after, blocked! The second time that week, blocked! Last week, blocked! Yesterday...fucking blocked!"
"We smell fish..." My mother hissed as she lowered her voice and probably her head as well. "We are very stressed out, pissed off and desperate parents...and you don't fuck with desperate parents..."
"So you're going to show us where our daughter is..." My dad continued as he took a similar tone as my mother. "Or we'll just shove you aside and find her ourselves. And if you try to get in our way..."
"Then What!?" Coal Hammer yelled as his own temper began to flare. I hate to think of what he's about to do. I don't care if he splits my head open while I'm fully awake, please just find it in your heart to spare my Mom and Dad. "What do you plan on doing, huh!? What if I don't budge!? Then what are you gonna do!?"
"You know what?" My Dad spat. "I'm done with you. Get out of my wa-"
"Don't fucking touch meee!!!"
POW! POW! POW! POW! POW! POW! POW! POW!
I couldn't help it. I went absolutely berserk and begun flailing around on the gurney I was strapped to as Bleeding Heart's spirit dashed through the door without opening it to assess the damage. If I'm not mistaken, that was eight shots which is consistent with the type of pistol that Coal Hammer packs in his lab coat. There's no way my parents could survive that from such a powerful weapon. If my life was ever truly over, it certainly was now. Yeah, on second thought, go right ahead and drill a hole in my head. At least I'll see my parents in the afterlife.
As the nurse tightened the straps in effort to further confine me, I could hear the hooves of several ponies, most likely security guards galloping down the hall towards the comotion. Suddenly, Bleeding Heart came shooting back in and over to me to bear some news. I don't even want to know how bad it is.
"He missed!!" Bleeding Heart beamed. "He missed the shots!! You're parents are okay!!"
Bleeding Heart wouldn't bullshit me. Somehow, Coal Hammer had missed all eight shots at point blank range and my parents were okay. I mean, they weren't full of holes right now but they are surrounded by guards who are only here to do Coal Hammer's bidding for some quick cash. Now that I'm somewhat calmed down though, I can hear the same clicking sound I heard before Bleeding Heart was murdered which could only mean that Coal Hammer was simply reloading his weapon. He might still kill them yet. There's a long pause. I couldn't get myself to scream even if my mouth wasn't taped shut.
"W-what are you..." What sounded like my Dad whimpered. "What are you ponies doing?..."
"Shit...how the hell do you miss eight shots at point blank range, doc?" One of the corrupt security guards asked with a chuckle.
"Shut up!" Coal Hammer snapped. "You try being that stressed out and see how much of a crack shot you are! Alright, you two wanna see your daughter!? Get in there!"
Suddenly, the door swung open but instead of seeing my parents rushing in to place me in their warm embrace, they were shuffling backwards, my Mom behind my Dad followed by Coal Hammer, the cold steel barrel held to the latter's face. My parents stared down the barrel of the mini cannon firmly clutched in Coal Hammer's wing as he and his goons forced them into the room where we could finally see each other after several weeks, albeit not under the most pleasant of circumstances. At least the nurse was doing me the courtesy of ripping the duct tape off my face.
"Mom!! Dad!!" I screamed the second my face was free of the tape, bearing no mind to the sudden pain of it ripping some of my fur off.
"Puffpuff!!" My parents both screamed in unison as they dashed over and hugged me tight as best they could in my immobilized state.
As wonderful as it was to see and be held by my parents again, we certainly weren't out of the woods yet. I'm still worried that Coal Hammer is going to kill them too. Where are you, Clutzy? We can only stall the inevitable for so long. We need a savior right now.
"Put them in straight jackets and bring them all back upstairs!" Coal Hammer commanded as he shivered out of frustration before taking a long drag from a cigarette.
Immediately, what had to have been nearly a dozen of the hospital's staff rushed my parents, easily overpowering them before placing them both in straight jackets as they were told. Unlike Coal Hammer, I genuinely believe that there are more good ponies in the world than bad but these guys certainly aren't among the former as they seem to value the quick cash they're pocketing over anything else.
They wheel me and drag my parents down the hall back to the elevator while they both kick and scream the whole way, desperately trying to free themselves as to ultimately bust me out of here. I genuinely believe that they would both take a bullet for me, quite literally. It looks like not all is lost, as their interference has stalled it to a point where we're being taken back to my room for the time being. Maybe Clutzy can still make it!
"What the fuck were you about to do to our baby!?!?" My Mom shrieked in pure rage as she and my Dad were both tossed into the room.
"I swear, I'm gonna make you regret the day you were born when we get out of here..." My dad hissed through his teeth.
"I already do." Coal Hammer retorted. "Now you all wait here while we try to figure out what we're gonna do with you two. We'll be right back."
With that, Coal Hammer slammed the door shut, leaving my parents and I to wait and hope to Faust that we would be saved somehow. If this isn't something coming down to the wire, I don't know what is. We need Clutzy to alert somepony and we need him to now. Whoever he could find still had to get here and would also need some reinforcements as there are multiple criminals in on all this. After a grueling half hour wait however, we were about to find out as my dear friend Bleeding Heart shot right through the door to bear news.
"Creampuff! I think we've done it!" Bleeding Heart beamed. Good news is very welcome and definitely overdue at this point.
"What!? What's going on!?" I asked, still strapped down to that damn gurney.
"The staff is in a frenzy! I hear some ponies talking about an information leak! They're all running around shredding files and hiding evidence! Clutzy must have found a spell to catch somepony's attention and tipped them off!"
"What...are they...oh my Faust, he's done it!"
"Sweetie, who are you...talking to?" My Mom whimpered, probably thinking that I'm seeing somepony who isn't there.
"Mom, Dad, I...I know you can't see him..." I begin to sob as I turn my head over to look my Mom and Dad square in the eyes. "...but please, just trust me. Coal Hammer murdered the only doctor here who cared about ponies and...I can see him just like Clutzy..."
"Puffpuff, baby, there's no way that..." My Dad whimpered.
"You just have to trust me!! Please!! I swear, I'm really seeing them and we're about to be saved!! You're just gonna have to trust me!!"
My mom and Dad both stared up at me in their incapacitated state with watery eyes before looking at each other for a moment and then up at me again. It looks like it's finally clicking in their heads and they both give me a loving smile before the break the silence.
"We...we trust you, sweetie." My Dad sobbed.
"Creampuff, we believe you...there have been a...small hoofful of ponies in the world with that ability. We just never thought our little girl would be that less than one in a billion."
"Sorry to spoil the moment, you guys but he's coming back and he looks pissed." Bleeding Heart said as he could only be speaking of one certain pony.
Once more, a key was shoved into the lock on my door and quickly turned before the door burst open and none other that Coal Hammer galloped in. He was clearly very nervous about something as he grabbed the handle on the stretcher I was strapped to and began to push me out the door much to my parents' dismay.
"If you lay one hoof on her..." My Dad hissed.
"Oh, you certainly don't need to worry about that." Coal Hammer replied nervously. "I haven't willingly touched a pony before in my life. Now if you'll excuse us, we need to get out of here pronto!"
"Bring her back, you bastard!!" My Dad screamed.
"I'll get you, you fucker!!" My Mom screamed as well.
Well, Bleeding Heart was right, something is indeed happening that might be helpful to us but Coal Hammer never ceases to stand in our way. He's trying to escape the facility and he's not too keen on losing his chance to cut a slice of my brain just yet. Just as Bleeding Heart had told me, hospital staff were busily and frantically, darting about with various folders, file boxes, and the like. As we passed by offices and restrooms within the halls, I could even see ponies dumping bins of shredded papers in the toilets before flushing them. Something's up. Bleeding heart unfortunately couldn't keep up as still being a brand new ghost still hasn't quite gotten movement down just yet so for now, it's just me and this crazy bastard.
"Where are you taking me?" I asked as Coal Hammer pushed my stretcher into the elevator.
"Well, dear, the jig is up and somepony narced on us." Coal Hammer replied. "We're just gonna head to a more secretive place. A laboratory of mine where you aid in the advancement of science in relative peace."
"Has it ever occured to you that maybe you yourself need many, many years of very intense therapy?"
"Of course it has. I may be crazy but I'm not stupid. Oh! I almost forgot! I'm just gonna make a quick little stop through the shitbag ward and try something I've always wanted to do."
Okay, I'm really worried about what he plans on doing in the sex offender ward as he has made it plain as day that he completely loathes pedofoals. I mean, nopony really likes them but his hatred goes so much deeper. Aside for my own life, I'm really scared what he's about to do to many others. We quickly leave the elevator and after a couple quick turns, we approach the double doors to the ward and Coal Hammer fished a ring full of keys and his instrument of destruction out of the pockets of his lab coat. There's about to be a bloodbath.
"Pardon me for a moment." Coal Hammer said as he racked the slide of his pistol and retreated through the double doors.
I couldn't believe it, I really, truly couldn't. I'm in total shock as I can hear plain as day the first lock being undone and the door to a patient's room being swung open, followed by a terrified scream of the stallion inside and then...
POW!
A gunshot. The screaming of the stallion in the room stops and I could hear the faint ping of a spent brass shell bounce across the floor. No. This isn't happening. there's just no way that's what he's doing in there. Another lock is clicked open. A door opens and then another scream.
POW!
My eyes shrink to pinpricks with each shot as I lay on that stretcher and listen to life after life being snuffed out one by one.
"No!! No, please!! I don't wanna d-" A stallion screamed.
POW!
More and more ponies in the rooms are screaming in utter horror as they peak from their little windows and witness other patients being senselessly executed before their eyes and knowing within seconds, they were next.
"W-wait...please don't..." A mare begged and pleaded as I could hear her door being opened. "I swear, I'm so sorry for what I did...I've learned my les-"
POW!
I so badly don't want to listen to any of this but I have no way to cover my ears. After several more shots, I hear the sound of a metal object larger than the empty shells hit the floor followed by the same clicking I heard before Bleeding Heart was murdered and when Coal Hammer fired at my parents. He was far from finished and was loading another magazine into his pistol.
A door unlocks and opens. A pony screams and begs for their own life...
POW!
A shot rings out...A series of six or seven more...The magazine drops out...another one takes its place...The crazed gunpony racks the slide...rinse and repeat. I Lost count on how many ponies Coal Hammer just slaughtered but I think he burnt through about four or five magazine holding seven rounds, save for the extra one tucked away in the chamber before the massacre started. I just listened to what had to have been a few dozen ponies die mere feet from where I lay confined.
I get it. Pedofoals are sick ponies who have done terrible things to innocent young kids and rightfully so should be kept from reoffending by whatever humane means necessary. Some can be rehabilitated, others can't. Some are truly sorry for what they did and try to make a genuine effort to give back to society once given the chance. Others aren't quite there. In my own humble opinion, neither of them deserve to be shot execution style. They need to learn their lesson, but not like this they don't.
"Okay, now that I got that out of my system..." Coal Hammer said calmly as he trotted out the double doors to retrieve me, his formerly white lab coat now covered in blood spatters. "...off we go."
"You didn't need to do that." I sobbed as I looked up at the madstallion as he pushed my stretcher down the hall to which he responded by rolling his eyes. "You didn't need to kill all those ponies."
"Huh, you know, you're right. I killed them too quickly. Unfortunately, we don't have time to toy around with them while they slowly bleed out so if anything, they're lucky."
"You're a monster..."
"We all are. You, me, everypony in this world is no better than one another. My hatred of the scum back there is just personal, as you're probably already aware. Some of us are just smart enough to actually do something about it. Wiping out all of equinity will be the best thing that's ever happened to this world. You're lucky enough to soon bear witness to my means of achieving that goal soon enough.
"But you said...you...you're talking like you think you're saving the world!! You're going to destroy it!!"
"Now you're starting to get the picture!"
That's when it hit me. We're dealing with an even bigger threat than I could have ever comprehended. Just when I thought his ideas, his goal couldn't be any worse. We're not just dealing with a mad scientist who experiments on ponies, we're not even up against a mass murderer who creates death and destruction with his pistol. I'm being wheeled down the hallways of a psychiatric hospital by a terrorist who wants to exterminate our own kind.
Chapter 1: The Day I Destroyed my Community
There's no place like home, and for me that place was the small village in Northeastern Equestria called Trottski, a quaint little town of about twenty-five hundred ponies. I was away for college for the past few years but every spring break, I'd always be back to my old stomping grounds. While many of my classmates were gambling in Las Pegasus or blowing through a week's pay within a minute in Manehattan, I was more than happy to go back to the town I called home and stay with my parents. It was just where I was meant to be when the hustle and bustle of school was done for the month.
My name is Creampuff Lime, by the way. I'm an earth pony, twenty-two years old with a soft pink coat, lime green mane and tail, hence my name, and matching eyes. My cutie mark is a red heart within a horseshoe pointing upward. It suits me well, I'm such a lucky mare. I've got my whole life ahead of me, the best friends and family I could ever ask for, and I'm about to graduate from college In Rockchester, about three hours Southwest of Trottski where I'm majoring in veterinary care. I've always loved animals and soon, I'll be doing what I love to do as a profession.
I've always liked helping other ponies too. I can picture it now, someday when I've opened my own veterinary clinic, seeing the eyes of ponies light up once I've treated their sick and hurt pets. Been dreaming of it all my life and it's so close, I can see it so vividly. It's uplifting yet so humbling to have a life such as mine that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. I'm not wealthy by any means, especially once I start paying off my student loans, I drive a little old Coltswagen and I'm not living an some condo in Manehattan but I can honestly say, I couldn't possibly be happier.
If that wasn't enough to make me giddy, I was on my way back home where I would be staying with my parents for spring break, and in my own foalhood room to boot. Nothing makes me feel like a foal again, in a good way of course, than sleeping in my old bed, playing my old video games, and dusting off my comic books. It was the same every year, I'd come home, spend time with my parents, see my friends new and old and just relax. Most would call it redundant but I call it the best spring break ever and there's nowhere else I'd rather be and nothing else I'd rather be doing. To top it all off, I even get to show my parents a letter I got from Princess Celestia and Equestria's element of kindness, congratulating me on being valedictorian.
It's been so long since I've been home. I've been so busy during the semester that I haven't had a single chance to visit my parents. Not much makes me as giddy as trotting up the the door and ringing the bell. My mom and dad always tell me that I don't have to ring the bell, I'm always welcome to just trot right in. There's just something about listening to them both galloping to the door before it swings open.
"Hi Mom! Hi Dad!" I beamed as I brought my parents in for hug.
"Sweetie, welcome home!" My mom greeted with a wide smile before proceeding to cover my face with kisses. I never minded, I don't care how old I get.
"We kept your room just the way you left it, hon!" My dad beamed as he messed up my mane with a hoof. Again, I never had a problem with my parents' ways of showing affection. "Come on in, we've got lunch ready!"
It was the same every year and I loved it. Mom and Dad made my favorite lunch to have as a filly. Tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. Such a simple, quick to whip up kinda thing but brought back memories with just the smell of it alone. Sure beats those packaged bricks of ramen that have "broke college student" written all over them. It hasn't been quite as hard to get by this year though as my job at the college as a receptionist has had more hours available but I digress. I'm home for the next couple of months and damn it, I'm gonna enjoy it!
"So, how is school, sweetie?" Mom asked me as we all enjoyed lunch together.
"Coming to and end soon sadly." I replied with a sigh. "Remember, I graduate after this summer. I'm actually gonna miss it."
"Look at it this way, Puffy." Dad began. "You'll be closing this chapter of your life but opening up a new one! Did we mention how proud of you we are?"
"Heeheehee. That makes the twenty-seventh time today."
"Well, get used to it." Mom said as she nudged me with her elbow. "We aren't about to quit it anytime soon."
"Heheheh, okay, okay, I'll let you have that. Hey, I'm gonna go take my stuff up to my room, okay?"
"Already?" Dad asked with a mock pout.
"Don't worry, guys, I'm just going to unpack. I'll be right back down to visit before you ca-"
"That's what you said last time before you got caught up with your old din-jendo whatsitcalled?"
"What can I say, I'm feeling nostalgic."
I adore how my parents still don't get the name of my video games right but for now, I needed to get my stuff out of the way before somepony trips on it. Just a duffel bag of some clothes and toiletries I'd need. Just a quick trot up the stairs to my room to drop it off and I'd be back down to catch up with Mom and Dad. At least that's what I tell myself until I get distracted by my Pintendo64 along with the other stuff in my room. My mom's always right about that. I just can't help but dust off my old stuff and bask in the memories. If I ever wanna feel like a foal again, this is the place to do it.
With all my stuff unpacked and my bed made just the way I like it, I confess I ended flipping through my game cartridges, looking for one to blow the dust out of. In the back of my mind, I knew that my parents wanted to visit with me more but at the same time, I couldn't help but feel that I was forgetting something. As I scrunched up my muzzle in deep thought however, I would get an answer in the form on a ding from my phone.
"Oh, I forgot all about that." I said to myself as I read my newest text.
Last week, some friends and I talked about making plans for today, as to what exactly we would do was still up in the air until now. By the looks of it, they were all planning on going to the Sockeye Run Mall theater in Aquatown, a small city about a half hour drive on the Interstate North of Trottski. I haven't seen them since last year so of course I'm in. Jeez, if anything else gets me excited, I'll have a heart attack.
After texting her back to tell her I'm game to catch a movie with them, we made a plan to meet at the parking lot of the local McHayburger and carpool the rest of the way there later in the afternoon. First things first though, my parents so badly wanted to catch up and I wasn't about to leave them disappointed. Only problem was, there was only about another half hour before my friends were about to head out so that gave me only twenty minutes to catch up with Mom and Dad before I had to go. I felt kinda bad about it but they assured me time after time that they understood and that it'd be good for me to get out and have a fun night with my friends. That, and there'd be plenty of time to visit later, I mean, I am going to be living there for the next month after all.
"Oh! I almost forgot!" I gasped before leaving my parents' place. "Take a look at what I got sent from Canterlot!"
In my hoof, I held a rolled up scroll with none other than the seal of Princess Celestia herself, which I hoofed over to my mother. She and my Dad both hastily unfolded it and read it aloud and I've never seen so many stars in their eyes before.
Dear Creampuff Lime
I, and Equestria's element of kindness and premier authority on Equestrian veterinary care would like to take this opportunity to personally congratulate you on your achievements throughout your studies at Rockchester Institute of Technology! Equestria's animals, both wild and domesticated will be very fortunate to be under your care once you hit the field after graduation! Fluttershy and I have both taken a close look at your excellent performance during your semesters and she and I both agree that Equestria needs more doctors like you! Miss Fluttershy and myself both look forward to meeting you in person at the graduation ceremony this Spring!
Princess Celestia of Equestria
Doctor Fluttershy
After some tears and a whole lot of squealing with glee, mostly from my dad, my parents and I spent some more time catching up to a point where I could have sworn I was forgetting something. Well, I ended up getting caught up so much that I lost track of time and the only reason I actually hopped in my car was a text from my friends asking why I wasn't there yet. They said they'd wait a few minutes for me but could only wait so long as the movie would be starting soon and we needed to get going if we wanted to catch it. No worries, It's just on the other side of this tiny little town with very little traffic. As I pulled out of my parents' driveway however, I would find myself sadly mistaken as it was half past three on a Friday. As such, there was no shortage of the village's bright yellow school buses and it seemed like I was stopping for one every ten feet.
It was frustrating to say the least, just my luck, really. The local high, middle, and elementary schools were letting out for the day and the slow, sluggish, thirty foot twinkies with wheels seemed to be on every street and they sure took their sweet time. Okay, worst case scenario, I'm a little later than I should be and we end up just making it to the movie. Well, another text from my friend saying that they were about to leave would reveal just that. Now, don't worry, I'm not holding onto my phone while I'm driving, I just peeked over at it sitting on my passenger seat while I was stopped for yet another school bus. I guess I'll have to loop around right quick and take a shortcut. I bet that would work.
As soon as the bus in front of me had dropped off two little fillies and on the curbside at that, I whipped over past it the second its stop sign folded back onto its side and took a quick right where I could then hang a left and be back in business. Nope, yet another bus stopped with its lights flashing and that wasn't even the worst part. I'd be here for a while.
"A wheelchair bus!?" I gasped out of frustration as I watched the driver get out and trot over to a door on the side of the bus where a colt strapped to a set of leg wheels waited to be assisted. "There's no way, I'm gonna make it!"
Verly slowly, the mechanical ramp unfolded and the pegasus colt stepped out where he was then lowered to the ground before he trotted over to his awaiting mother. Why he couldn't just fly was beyond me...no, no, I shouldn't think like that, that's not like me to be so insensitive. I'm just frustrated. Still, I should be more compassionate, I admit, I felt bad for allowing that thought to cross my mind.
At last, the driver stepped back onto the bus, strapped herself into her seat, shut the door and deactivated the red lights, meaning that I was clear to go. Finally, I was on the town's main drag where there weren't as many buses and any that were there didn't seem to have any stops to make. Just a little further to go. I was almost there, I could see those golden arches from the McHayburger right off in the ever closing distance! I can even see my friend's car! Oh, she still has that big old boat she kept saying she was getting rid of. Riding in that'll bring back some memories...If I get to ride in it at all.
"Oh, nooo." I groaned as yet another bright yellow bus began slowing down in front of me.
It was flashing its yellow lights which meant that it was preparing to make another stop and drop off a filly or a colt. What? Another text from her? Oh no, she's leaving right now and they're right in front of me! But hold on...the bus still hasn't stopped. The road ahead of us is totally clear and the lines on the road are broken meaning that you can pass...provided that it doesn't flash its red lights. No harm in trying, right? I mean, every single foal I've seen getting dropped off was trotting off to their house on the curbside. Why would this time be different. Oh, but what if the police see me do this? Well, the yellow lights are still on and there aren't any around that I can see so I guess I'm going for it.
The speed limit on the road was forty miles per hour and if I could just speed up a tad to forty-two or so then I can get past just before the stop sign sticks out. By that point, the driver will have his eyes on the foal just about to get off, I could skate by without them even noticing me. It's the perfect plan! Okay, steady now. Left turn signal to change lanes, there we go. Okay, still yellow. No other traffic in the oncoming lane. Yes! It's open! Oh, no, the bus just came to a complete stop! I can still make it though! I can still...oh, shit, my friends are pulling out of the parking lot right in front of me! But if I can just get over there in time, I can flag them down!
What? The lights are flashing red now! Wait, hold on now, not all is lost. Like I said, the driver would be looking to the curb where the door is. Hell, it hasn't even opened yet! I can still do this and not even put a little foal in danger! Oh, Celestia have mercy on me for doing this but at the speed I'm going, I couldn't even stop if I tried. I'm almost there! I'm almost in the clear! Just a few more yards to go and I can get to my friends and...
"STOOOOOOOOP!!!" The driver of the bus screamed at the top of his lungs as he frantically waved a hoof out his window, his other firmly pressed down on the horn.
Shit, he saw me! Oh shit, I'm as good as screwed right now! If I'm lucky, he might not get my plate number but the next few yards I have to go will be on the wheels of shame as a few pedestrians on the sidewalk saw me too! It was at that moment that I realized just why everypony's eyes were like saucers as I turned mine ahead to see a light blue unicorn colt who gave me a similar look. Everypony else seeing me was the least of my worries as the little colt in front of me was directly in my path and I was going over the speed limit as it was. With all the strength my earth pony legs had in them, I slammed both back hooves down on my brake pedal and began to skid.
My adrenaline was already rushing at full bore so it all seemed to happen in slow motion. I clenched my teeth as my car screeched its tires, leaving a trail of nasty, white smoke behind. My brakes smoked too and were probably glowing cherry red. Oh, Celestia that poor colt is frozen to the spot! At the distance I am away from him and the speed I'm going, it looks like I can just...Oh, Celestia, who am I kidding!? If my car so much as bruises this poor little guy's horn, I'll never forgive mysel-
SCREEEEEEEE-THWACK-EEEECH!!!
What have I done?
Chapter 2: Valedictorian to Felon
This has to be a dream, right? A horrible nightmare at that. I'm sitting in a seated position with my eyes shut tight, I at least know that much. I also like to think I'm not stupid enough to pass a stopped school bus as a foal tries to hop off and cross the street. I would never do such a thing, right? Okay, deep breaths, open my eyes and...there's a steering wheel right in front of me. Looking down further, I see that both of my back hooves are firmly holding the brake pedal to the floor. Okay, keep it together, Creampuff, just calm down, gather your bearings and assess the situation.
The first thing I do from there is reach for my shift lever on the steering column and put the car in park. Okay, good, now I'll turn on the hazard lights. Oh, Celestia, my adrenaline is rushing so bad, I feel like I'm high or something, not that I'd really know what that's like. Hold on, now I hear sirens off in the distance. This is a quaint little town, that's really out of place. It sounds like the every emergency responder in the village is on its way here. What's with all the shouting behind me? Better look in the rearview and see what's going on.
The school bus is still stopped in its tracks and just like before, its red lights were flashing and the stops sign lighting up just the same. Looking ahead and to my side, I could see ponies rushing from out of their nearby houses and galloping over to the bus, every one of them sporting the look of horror. I need to get out and get to the bottom of this. Oh, Celestia I'm shaking like crazy, I need to calm down.
"Heeelllp!! Somepony hehehelp!!" The voice of a stallion screamed from behind me as I slowly opened my door and stepped out of my car. "Oh, Celestia, nohohohoho!!"
The driver of the school bus, an older, gray maned stallion, I'd say around his sixties was sitting on his rump in the road was sobbing like a maniac as he gently cradled the little colt whom I had just made eye contact with moments ago. The only thing I could think to do was just stand there and gawk as I watched the asphalt beneath the young foal become covered in blood that dripped from his seemingly lifeless body. The sirens were getting much closer now and a set of skid marks on the road right where the two ponies were caught my eye.
As I still tried my best to calm myself and come down from my adrenaline high, my eyes followed the skid marks on the road and the sudden realization finally hit me when I saw the marks lead right to my car. I just passed a school bus and ran over a colt as a result. As I turned back to the bus driver wailing in anguish as he held the colt who rode his bus, my back legs gave out and I involuntarily plopped my ass on the ground and covered my mouth with my forehooves. I wanted to do something, but what? What could I possibly do to help in a situation that I had just caused?
"Mr. wheels, is Clutzy okay!?" A little filly who had stepped off the bus called over, a few other concerned fillies and colts standing close behind.
"Oh, Celestia, kids, don't look!" The bus driver, apparently named Wheels screamed, trying to keep innocent foals from seeing their friend in such a state as tears flowed down his face. "J-just get...get back on the bus! You don't wanna see this!"
"But, I just wanna know if he-"
"Just get back on the bus!!"
It was all happening so fast, yet painfully slow at the same time. Finally however, the sirens that once played a distant tune closed in and the first emergency response unit to arrive were two Trottski village police cars, one right after the other. The second the two black and whites screeched to a halt, four officers jumped out and rushed over to the main priority of the situation. One officer tried to check on the colt as two of them got to work setting up a parameter in which to direct traffic flow around the scene.
Before I could even think to speak to anypony about what I had just done, more police cars and an ambulance arrived soon followed by fire and rescue squad. It was horrible, such a quiet and quaint little town being turned into such a mess and all because of me. Now that there were paramedics present to attend to the poor little guy I just hit with my car, the police could keep the road under control and it even looked like they were interviewing ponies who saw me do it. Surely I was next.
"There she is! That's her!" The older bus driver shouted as he and the local police chief came galloping towards me, the former pointing his hoof as if branding me with a mark of shame. "She's the one who did it! She ran over Clutzy!"
"I...I-I didn't mean it, I swear." Were the only words I could manage to force out of my mouth as I sat there, shaking.
"Miss, I need you to step over there with me." The police chief said firmly. "I need to get a statement from you. First, pull your car to the side of the road but don't you dare try to go anywhere, you understand?"
"Y-yes sir."
Still a shaking, shivering mess, I trotted back to my car as the town's highest ranking police officer followed right behind and entered the driver's side door before putting the still running car into drive. The chief not only watched me like a hawk but also steered my car to the side for me by enveloping my steering wheel with his unicorn aura as to not allow me to leave the scene. After my car was pulled to the side, he also used his aura to shift it into park, shut the engine off and yank my keys out of the ignition. It was quite clear that he didn't trust me but after the shit that I'd just pulled, I can't say I blame him.
"Alright, step out." The chief said firmly. "Now, follow me over to my patrol car. I'll need your license, registration, and insurance information."
"S-sir, please tell me he's okay." I stuttered as I did as I was told by the officer of the law.
He didn't answer me but I wanted to...no, needed to know if the little guy was going to be alright. I'm not sure if he just didn't hear me or simply wanted to spare all but getting down to business and to the bottom of what happened. Still, I couldn't help but look over at the scene and stare back, hoping that the young foal would start saying something. Finally, the chief and myself were standing face to face next to his black and white car as he flipped through the paperwork I had presented to him. After he was satisfied, he the set the cards down onto the hood of his car, pulled a notepad and pen from his pocket and looked me dead in the eye.
"You mind telling me your side of the story, Miss Lime?" The chief asked me as he prepared to jot down my statement.
"W-well, I...I..." I stuttered.
"You...what?"
"I was...driving and...I saw the bus but it hadn't stopped yet and...I thought I could pass it before-"
I then turned my focus back to the scene where it looked like the paramedics were trying to resuscitate the colt. If I was worried before, I was ready to toss my heart up along with my lunch.
"What gave you that idea?" The chief asked. "What made you think for a second that was okay to do? Hey, look at me, you've gotta tell me what happened, alright?"
"Sir, I swear, I had no idea this would happen." I whimpered as tears started running down my cheek. "P-please, I just wanna know if that colt is oka-"
"For your own sake, you'd better damn well hope he is! So then what?"
"I...I saw him in front of me...he came out of nowhere and-"
"Came out of nowhere. And I suppose you're trying to put the blame on that little colt you just plowed over with your car, is that it?"
"N-no!! I know that this is my fault!! I feel horrible!!"
"You'll be feeling a lot worse if that foal doesn't make it. Alright, I think I've got enough of a statement, just sign the bottom, go have a seat in your car, and wait for me. I'll be holding onto your keys."
Again, I did as I was told and trotted over to my car where I then took a seat and watched the scene unfold via my rearview mirror. As I watched the medical responders work tirelessly to help save the colt I just hurt, the realization, the true severity of the situation slowly sank in. I watched as the police chief trotted back over to render his own aid while the rest of his officers interviewed witnesses and directed traffic. Ponies that drove by could plainly see what was going on and it didn't take a genius to know that the tire marks on the road that lead from the foal lying in the road to where my car was parked were mine.
"Keep moving, everypony!" An officer hollered between blows of his whistle. "No rubbernecking, keep it moving!"
I couldn't bear to make eye contact with any of these ponies, they all know what I just did. A sudden commotion in the form of a frustrated medical worker pounding his hoof against the side of an ambulance shifted my attention back to the scene that I just caused. This doesn't look good. Not in the slightest. They had the colt placed on a stretcher and everypony had suddenly started removing their hats. It was when one of the medics slowly and gently placed a blanket over the colt, covering his entire body that my heart sank to a new low I've never experienced before.
This just can't be happening. The only reason they would cover his whole body would be if he had died. I could never live with myself if I'd killed somepony. No, he can't be dead! He's got to get through this! I'm not a murderer, that's not who I am!...right?
Well, the police chief apparently wouldn't agree with that as I could see him power trotting towards me in my rearview mirror, the fire in his eyes burning into my very soul as ours locked. I clenched my teeth and started squeezing out more tears as I watched the medics, all hanging their heads in sorrow, roll the stretcher into the back of the ambulance. It was now finally sinking in, the horrible, despicable thing that I had just done. The atrocious crime that I had just committed and would soon begin to pay for. I can not and will not sugarcoat it or call it what it's not. I just killed that poor little colt right in front of his friends.
"Miss Lime, get out of the car." The police chief commanded as he opened my door.
Knowing fully what to expect, I did as I was instructed and pulled my sorry ass out of my seat and stood on all fours before the angry police stallion who looked down at me like I was the biggest piece of shit he'd ever laid eyes on. I'd find it hard to argue with it if he told me I was. There I stood, shaking and trembling with my head hung low and I started to hyperventilate as he levitated a set of hoof cuffs from his belt.
"Now sit on your rump and present your forehooves." He commanded.
Again, I did as I was told and plopped my ass on the ground and slowly rose my forehooves, my head still hung low in shame as I began to bite my lower lip. First, he affixed a cuff onto my right hoof, then my left. At this point, I'm sobbing profusely, not because of what I got myself into but because I just singlehoofedly snuffed out the life of a precious little foal who couldn't have been any more than ten years old. Now, I have to live with myself.
"Creampuff Lime, I am placing you under arrest..." The chief continued. "...for reckless and negligent equinicide in the death of Clutzy Luvvie. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of Equestrian law. You have the right to be represented by an attorney. If you can't afford an attorney, a public defender will be appointed to you at no cost. Do you understand what I just read to you?"
"Y-y*sniff* yes I...I *hic* I do." I sobbed, still not able to look the officer in the eye.
After leading me back to his patrol car, the chief opened the rear, passenger side door, put his hoof upon the top of my head and pushed me into the back seat like the disgusting criminal I had become. With the door slammed shut and my arresting officer in the driver's seat, I turned around and took one last look at the now wrapping up scene as the medical responders shut the door of the ambulance carrying the body of my innocent victim. Once again, I hung my head in shame as I was whisked away to begin the process of paying for what I had done.
"Okay, now turn to your right." An officer at the local police station instructed me after snapping a photo of me against a wall marked by inches and feet to show my height.
In my hoof, I held a placard with the date, time, my name, and the name of the department of which processed me after my arrest. Like a common dirty criminal, I was being made to pose for a mugshot before having my hooves firmly pressed onto an ink pad where they were then pressed down onto a paper which would be the symbol of a criminal record for the rest of my life. Never in my life had I ever been so embarrassed and humiliated but when it all boils down to it, I'm not the one who just got killed by a negligent driver and for that, I may never forgive myself.
My parents still don't know about what happened. Oh, Celestia, how am I gonna tell them? The daughter that they have always been so proud of every day of my entire life has been reduced to a murderer. Sure, they aren't actually charging me with murder but like I said about sugarcoating things, I'm a grown mare, and I'm going to take my punishment, whatever that may be. It seems that things are going to do nothing but get worse from here as not only have I taken a life, I let my parents down, destroyed my community, ruined the lives of those who loved that colt and became the most hated mare in this town. Now, I have to call my parents and tell them what I did.
"Hello? " My mom said on the other line as I called home.
"M-Mom? It's me." I stuttered, immediately indicating to my mother that something was wrong.
"Sweetie? What happened? You sound terrible. "
"Mom...you know I love you and Dad with every fiber of my being..."
"Creampuff, you're scaring us...here, I've got you on speaker so your father can hear. Just tell us what happened, and give it to us straight, okay? You know we love you too. "
"Mom...Dad...I just killed a foal..."
There was a pause on the other end of the line and the only thing I could hear was my parents' breathing becoming heavier and heavier by the second. Finally, my dad spoke up to try to really grasp what I had just told them.
"Puff puff? " My dad whimpered. "What do you mean you...killed...a foal? "
"I drove past a school bus and *sniff* I ra-*hic* I ran over a little colt, Dad! The poor little guy died because of me!!"
"Creampuff? " My mom asked, sounding short of breath. "Where are you right now!? "
"I-I-I'm at the village police station."
"We're coming right now! "
My parents immediately hired a lawyer for me as soon as they got off the phone and now they're wasting their hard earned money for somepony to represent and defend me in court. I almost wish I hadn't called them, it's not like I'm not guilty of an atrocious act, what's the point. I sat in a jail cell in the village police station waiting for my parents and their lawyer to show up. Oh, Celestia, I hope they don't waste their money bailing me out. I committed an equinicide, they'd have to remortgage their house for that.
Never in my life have I felt like such a lowlife. Just because I was in a hurry, I killed a young foal and now, I waited for the process of my paying for it to begin. We all make mistakes but not like this. Just when it finally seemed like I could at least get a moment of peace and quiet to think about what wound me up here and probably soon the Equestrian penitentiary however, a commotion seemed to erupt outside my cell. Much to my confusion, several police officers darted and dashed about all over the building in what seemed a panicked frenzy.
"Get out there and block the entrance!" The police chief who arrested me ordered his subordinates. Don't let any of them in the building, they're about to start a riot out there!"
"Sir! They're starting to throw things at the windows!" Another officer hollered.
"Then don't hesitate to arrest anypony who causes any trouble! We don't tolerate vigilantes in this town!"
I just didn't know what to make of it. A riot? Unrest in the streets of this quiet little town? This day possibly couldn't get any worse. Well, that's where I was wrong. I could vividly hear the shouting and swearing of furious ponies outside the barred window that connected my holding cell to the outside. Out of curiosity, I stood on my hind legs on the cot in my cell and peaked out the small window and sure enough, there were dozens, maybe even hundreds of angry ponies throwing whatever they could get their hooves on at the building.
The fire and fury in their eyes was even scarier than the look the police chief gave me. Other ponies were sobbing as they embraced each other but judging by what happened today involving me and that colt, they all had one thing in common. The sudden realization literally made my heart physically ache, I truly felt like I was having a heart attack. The ponies trying to push past police officers and throwing things at a government building could only mean one thing that just crushed me down to my very soul. My whole town wanted to lynch me.
I couldn't look at the eyes of these ponies for a second longer and dropped myself down onto the cot in the fetal position and began sobbing myself soaking wet. Not only have I taken a precious life, I turned my community, my home town into riot zone. Never before has there been nearly this much unrest in the streets and I only had myself to blame. Oh, and now my parents are on their way here as I speak. What if they get attacked by the angry mob? Everypony knows each other in Trottski, they're bound to know who my parents are. They could hoof me right over to them to tear me limb from limb for all I care, I just want them to leave my parents out of this.
No matter what I did, no matter how hard I covered my ears, I couldn't tune out the shouting and chanting of the crowd of ponies who sought after my blood. All I wanted to do was just drift off to sleep and preferably never wake up again but the mob of pissed off ponies wasn't about to grant me any serenity. Another agonizing hour ticked by as slowly as time could allow until finally, my parents showed up with the lawyer they hired. For the first time today, I breathed a sigh of relief that the angry townsponies didn't attack my parents as there wasn't so much as a scratch no torn item of clothing on them.
My Mom and Dad were absolutely speechless when they entered the room with the holding cells to see me locked in one of them like the scum I felt that I had become. All my life, my parents have openly expressed how proud that are of me and everything I have done and just like that, I had been reduced to a total lowlife. My Dad was always very emotional and more quick to tears than my Mom but to see me locked up in that cell was just too hard for them to see and I could add them to the growing list of ponies I had hurt.
"Young lady, I think I have an idea just crazy enough to get you out of this!" The lawyer, a unicorn stallion beamed as an officer escorting the trio unlocked my cell.
Typical lawyer. I don't like this guy already. I know what I did and now he's going to try to help me get away with it? Well, he and the officer who unlocked my cell who I think must be the department's sargeant lead me and my parents to one of those rooms with the one-way mirror in it where we all took a seat at a table. Myself, my parents, and our lawyer sat on the opposite side of the police officer while our law expert here opened up a briefcase and pulled out some papers, hell if I know what they even were.
"I've got more than enough proof here that your chief coerced my client into telling him what he wanted to hear!" The lawyer began as he flipped through the papers. "You call this a statement?!"
"Have you completely forgotten that a young foal just died today?!" The officer retorted.
"Not only that, but he even illegally detained my client by taking her keys and forcing her car to the curb with his aura!"
"If she'd left the scene, she'd be a hell of a lot more sorry than she is now!"
The officer is right though. I'd be committing a whole new crime altogether if I left. Of course he's going to ignore the fact that a young life got snuffed out because of me. Oh, Celestia, why the fuck did my parents hire this guy?
"And I even reviewed video footage from one of the cameras on that school bus!" The lawyer continued. "The driver clearly didn't allow nearly enough time for other traffic to clear and didn't even bother checking to make sure all other cars were stopped!"
"I'll have you know, that poor stallion couldn't get himself behind the wheel of that bus after what happened and now he's retiring earlier than he planned because of this!"
"That's no concern of ours! Look, this is an open and shut case! Next week, when she goes before the judge, she'll be back home and out with her friend before you can say-"
"I'm going to plead guilty!" I said, cutting the lawyer off.
The lawyer, my parents, even the cop in the room looked at my like I had just sprouted a second head. I love my parents more than anything in the world and I know they just want to protect me but it had to be done. If I trotted, the whole town would never rest until they had my head and if I simply get away with it, it would be nothing but an insult to the colt who lost his life and those who loved him. I'm a grown mare and I am going to face the music for what I did. I am going to step up, shut up, and pay my debt to my community.
"Creampuff! Sweetie, you don't have to do this!" My mom gasped.
"Puff puff, you can't go to jail! You just can't!" My dad sobbed. "You'll get chewed up and spat out!"
"Miss Lime, you could completely avoid any jail time!" The lawyer said. "Worst case scenario, you could trot out with probation or a fi-"
"I just killed somepony!!" I shouted, leaving the room so quiet, I could only hear the breathing of everypony here. "Mom...Dad...I love you two so much, don't ever forget that...but I won't be able to sleep at night ever again if I don't do something. Did you see those ponies out there? Didn't you take a second to look at them and think about what they're going through? Those ponies just had their hearts torn out and smashed to bits. Those are ponies who are in agony over what I've done. I didn't just hurt a few ponies, I destroyed my home town."
"Humph. Well, there goes my case." The lawyer huffed as he began stuffing papers back into his briefcase. "Whatever, I'm still getting paid for showing up. Your court hearing is next Wednesday. If you plead guilty, the judge will simply decide your sentence. Good luck, you'll need it."
After pretty much telling me to go fuck myself, the lawyer finished packing up his papers, slammed his case shut and trotted out the door, leaving me, my parents, and the police sergeant to discuss the situation.
"I'll be honest with you, young lady." The sergeant said. "When we first brought you in earlier, I thought you were just another scumbag but now, I take it back. You're one brave girl for owning up to it like this."
"Thanks but I don't think I'll have a single positive thought about myself for a long time to come." I replied, tears still flowing down my face."
"You're remorseful." My Dad said. "That's okay. It means you have a soul."
"Sweetie, you're the strongest, bravest pony I know." My mom said as she patted me on the back. "I mean it."
"Be that as it may..." The sergeant began again. "...I'm not gonna sugarcoat this. She could end up going away for a very long time if she isn't so lucky. Though she has no prior record, equnicides aren't taken into account like that. If the judge has it in for her, she could do the same time as somepony with a long rap sheet."
"Well, surely Judge Sweetenjust will understand." My Dad added. "I mean, of course she didn't do it on purpose."
"Oh, it's not going to be the village judge doing the hearing. Unless she's bailed out, later tonight we'll be transporting her to the county lock up where she'll then go to court over in Oswaggo. The local system doesn't deal with equinicides, that's for the county and Judge Ironclad to handle."
Knowing that Ironclad is very well known to be a tough judge, my Dad, with a nervous look on his face, pulled his checkbook from his pocket followed by a pen. Don't even think about it, Dad.
"How much is her bail?" My Dad asked.
"Dad, I'm not letting you do this!" I snapped.
"Puff Puff, we're not leaving you locked up here for a minute longer than we have to. How much is her bail, sir?"
"One hundred thousand bits." The officer replied, earning a river of tears from my Dad.
It's not that it was just more than what my parents were willing to pay, they simply couldn't afford it. I'm both glad that it was out of their budget but at the same time crushed that it hurt them to see me locked up like this. I live up to my name, I am a total creampuff. I will either endure jail or die in the process. With nothing else we could do and visiting time brought to an end, my Mom and Dad gave me one last hug before they left for home. Still, the crowd of enraged townsponies stood outside the police station but again spared my parents from any physical harm though I was told by another officer that they had some verbal harassment thrown their way.
With the last of any necessary paperwork and other formalities taken care of, I was once again fitted with hoof cuffs and lead to the front entrance to the precinct where the mob seemed to be waiting for me. Dozens of officers from other departments must have been called in to assist as they formed a line on both side of the paved trotway to keep the angry citizens at bay while they bring me to a waiting county squad car. It was sickening to see what I had caused. All these ponies were out for my blood and the police had to protect me, the criminal from them. If it weren't for my parents who would have been hurt, I would just let them tear me apart until they were satisfied.
"On three." An officer who flanked me on my right said. "One...two...three!"
The second the officer to my right shouted "three", he and another officer on my left pushed the door open, grabbed me by the forelegs and rushed out towards the waiting car driven by the county sheriff and a deputy. As soon as us three exited the building, the crowd pushed against the officers forming the barrier even harder, causing several of them to skid backwards as their hooves dug into the ground. Many of them had drawn their batons at this point and started taking swings at ponies to keep them back.
None of my hooves were even touching the ground, the two cops who escorted me out were literally carrying me. I hung my head low both because I didn't want anypony to look at me and because I was afraid of getting hit by a vengeful hoof or a flying object, it was that bad. Finally, we reached the car and the two officers shoved me into the back seat, slammed the door and took off to deal with the crowd who was now giving chase as we pulled away. Finally, we were on the highway and on our way to Oswaggo, a city of about eighteen thousand in the center of the county it was aptly named after. From there, I would be spending the next few days in a holding cell until my court hearing.
The following Wednesday...
The courtroom at the county courthouse was jam packed with ponies both staff and otherwise. I sat at a table next my my asshole of a lawyer, my parents at a bench just behind us and a crowd of pissed off ponies behind them. Several uniformed bailiffs stood between me and them to ensure order. I couldn't help but notice that not a single one of my friends showed up but I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Our waiting finally ended as a door on the opposite side of the courtroom opened.
"Order! All rise!" The bailiff nearest to the door called out.
As myself and everypony else in the courtroom arose to our hooves, an older, gray pegasus mare with a silver mane tied in a bun entered the room. I had never seen her before but since this mare donned a traditional black robe, I knew right away she must have been Her Honour, the notoriously tough Judge Ironclad herself.
"Please be seated!" The same bailiff called out as the judge took her seat. "The court in the case of the ponies of Equestria versus Creampuff Lime is now in session!"
After shuffling a few papers about on her desk before her, the judge turned her attention to me, giving me a stone cold look of utter distaste.
"Miss Lime, you're being brought up on the following charges..." Judge Ironclad began. "Unlawful passing of a school bus, one count...reckless driving, one count...endangering the welfare of foals, one count...and criminally negligent vehicular equinicide, one count. How do you plead to these charges?"
As per proper etiquette for addressing a judge, I stood up on my hooves to answer her.
"G-guilty to each ch-charge, your honour." I stuttered as I struggled to stifle tears.
I could hear my parents quietly sobbing behind me as the crowd started murmuring, I could even hear various comments from several of them. Some of them took me aback and most I would expect.
"Really? She's owning up to it?" Said a mare in the crowd.
"I thought for sure she'd try to weasel her way out of this." Said a stallion.
"I was hoping she'd plead not guilty so they'd fry her worthless ass." Said another mare.
"Order!" The judge shouted as she smacked her galvel down on her desk. "We're all adults here, I shouldn't have to remind you that we're in a courtroom! Now act like it!"
To say she was intimidating would be a grave understatement. Just like that, every single pony in the room shut right up. After a brief pause, she turned her glare back to me.
"A plea of guilty..." The judge said as she cocked an eyebrow at me. "Alright, you're making it a little easier on everypony then. I'll be in my chambers deciding your sentence for the time being."
This session would make the record books for the quickest one in history, I'll bet. After excusing herself to her chambers, Judge Ironclad stood up and trotted out the door of which a bailiff held open for her. There I sat waiting for my entire future to be decided, next to the lawyer my parents wasted their money on. I would soon pay my debt for the crime I committed and hopefully bring some closure to the family and friends of the colt I killed. Oh my Celestia, that poor little colt. His poor parents who sat in the back of the room, and his little sister who would now grow up without her brother. That's when it hit me. There was still time! Clutzy Luvvie's funeral was earlier today and I was told that he hasn't been buried yet! There's something I have to do before I get locked away, my conscience will never rest until I do! I just hope the judge has an ounce of mercy of me just so I can do it.
"M-Mister Mako?" I said quietly to my lawyer.
"Hm?" Mako asked.
"I need your help. Please, I...there's something I need to do...it's on a personal level."
"What's that?"
Without making eye contact, Mako tilted his head to lend me an ear. I had one last request before I would take my punishment and I would be forever damned if I couldn't carry out my little plan. As I whispered my idea into my lawyer's ear, it drooped at what I had just said to him. He then turned to me with an expression of both surprise and what I think was...touched I guess is the word I'm looking for.
"I...Okay...I'll ask her." Mako stuttered as he began to stifle tears of his own.
After a few more minutes of waiting, the judge returned to the room, myself and everypony arose, sat back down and awaited the news of my fate. After seating herself, Judge Ironclad took a pen in her mouth to jot a few things down, dropped the pen back down onto her desk and turned back to me.
"Miss Lime, stand up and approach the bench." The judge ordered me.
I didn't hesitate for a moment and slowly, quietly trotted over and stood shaking before the judge, my head hung low and my ears folded back. This was it. Starting tonight, I would be a prisoner of Equestria. I would no longer have a name but a series of numbers embroidered upon an orange shirt I would have no choice but to wear. I just hope my lawyer speaks up before it's too late. I don't want to try to escape justice, All I want is to save my soul and calm my conscience.
"Miss Lime, I have decided your sentence." The judge said to me in an ice cold tone. "First however, I'd like to throw in my two bits...You took a life, Creampuff. Really, seriously think about that. Not only is a young foal dead, but your entire town is in utter agony of the loss of not just one but two lives. In a way, you're dead too...dead to the ponies in your community. I pity you, miss. Even after you get out of prison, you're going to have a long, difficult life ahead of you. And for what? Because you were in too much of a hurry. It's a shame, because now, I hereby sentence you to ten yea-"
"Objection!!" My lawyer shouted as he burst from his chair
"Mister Mako, have you finally lost your mind!? You can't just toss in a last second objection before I sentence somepony!"
"Your honour, if you would just hear me out, please! My client has but one final request before she receives her sentence."
Again, the crowd began murmuring amongst themselves as they must have been surprised that I, the convicted killer of all ponies would have the nerve to make a request. I thought for sure she was gonna up and chuck her galvel at me to save her desk another blow from the look she was giving me. The crowd even began getting louder and a few ponies even booed at the idea.
"Order!!" The judge shouted as she gave her desk several good smacks. "I will have order in this courtroom or I'll have everypony cleared out!!"
Again, everypony in the room shut right up and the judged turned back to Mako.
"A request huh?" she asked with a cocked eyebrow. "Ohhohoh, this oughtta be good. Get over here and make it quick, I don't wanna be in the same room with her for a minute longer than I have to."
Without a moment's hesitation, the lawyer trotted over to Judge Ironclad whom had her head tilted and an ear open much like he had before. As he whispered in her ear, she gave a few interested nods as she listened intently. Very slowly, her expression changed from bemused to that of shock, again much like Mister Mako had after listening to me. I thought for sure she would simply scoff and get on with the sentencing but to my surprise, she turned to me with quivering lips and drooping ears.
"Y-you want to..." Judge Ironclad stuttered before covering her mouth. "I uhh...erm, excuse me, everypony, I need to go to my chambers again."
The judge then suddenly flared her wings and darted towards the door and if not for the bailiff's quick action, she would have flown right into it. The only thing for us to do was wait. I had no idea she would react that way. Had my request struck a chord with her somehow? It sounded like she was about to give me ten years behind bars. Well deserved if anypony were to ask me but all I could ever ask for is this one little chance to try and make things right or at least take another baby step towards it.
The courtroom was entirely silent save for the ticking of the clock upon the wall. At this point, more than an hour had passed since we all last saw the judge and we were all getting antsy. I just wanted to know if I could die a somewhat happy and fulfilled pony when my own time comes. At long last, our wait was over as the judge appeared again and once more, everypony arose and sat back down. Her mane appeared somewhat disheveled and her eyes red and sort of puffy, like she had been crying. How could it be? She's the toughest judge in the Northeast of Equestria.
"Everypony who isn't courthouse staff, except the defendant and her parents, leave the room immediately." The judge said quietly.
I was surprised as everypony else and the crowd expressed it as they again chatted amongst themselves while the group of bailiffs escorted everypony as per the judge's orders. For a few minutes, she just sat there up at her desk and rubbed her temples as if she had a horrible migraine. With everypony now outside the courtroom, save for me, my lawyer, my parents and the bailiffs, the judge turned to me with a much softer expression than before.
"Miss Lime, stand up and approach me, please." Judge Ironclad said.
I did as I was told and stood before her again, my head hung low and tears creating a puddle underneath me.
"Your request is..." She began again. "...reasonable. It, um...it's...moving actually. It just...it made me look at you in a bit of a different way. You're not like a lot of the countless other mooks I've put away, you're actually quite brave. I've seen so many ponies cry fake tears and feign remorse but you...you really are aching over this, not simply because you're being punished but because you truly have deep regret for your actions. I felt morally obligated to take another look and reconsider your sentence, Miss Lime. At seven O'clock tonight, I will have officers escort you to a florist where they will then bring you to Faustin Max Funeral Home..."
Before she gave me her last choice words, Judge Ironclad picked her her galvel.
"...From there, you will be taken to the Northeast Equestrian Penitentiary where you will serve twelve months. May your time at the funeral home bring peace to you."
Hours later...
Celestia bless that judge for allowing me to do this, but a year? One lousy year for killing a young foal with my car? I feel like it's a big insult to Clutzy Luvvie and his loved ones but it can't be helped. From here on out, it's up to me to take the steps towards making things right. My first step would be taken once I climbed the steps into the funeral home with a bouquet of flowers in my hoof and two officers waiting for me at the door. The sun was setting on a beautiful Spring evening and the funeral home was completely empty, save for myself and sompony I would hopefully make peace with.
Very slowly, I trotted towards the end of the dimly lit room where a lone open casket sat atop a stand. As I trotted closer, my teeth began to clench followed by the inevitable waterworks. My breaths quickened and shortened as I trotted closer still. I had to do this, even if it killed me. I was given fifteen minutes and I had to make every one of them count. Finally, I reached the casket on the end of the room, and there he was.
There I stood before him, the precious, innocent little colt I senselessly, needlessly took from this world, from those who knew and loved him. The little guy was dressed in a nice little suit and his forehooves were folded around his chest with a red rose tucked between them. His mane was neatly combed and a sweet little smile adorned his face as he lay on his soft bed of light blue velvet that matched his coat. He was so beautiful.
With a shaky hoof, I gently placed the bouquet of flowers in the casket next to the other various items such as toys, comic books and pictures of family members. I wasn't finished yet, I had to say something, anything. Every time I tried to open my mouth though, my teeth clenched up tight and again my breaths grew short. I could only think of one thing as I stood there sobbing. This precious little ten year old foal is laying in that casket because of me. Because of me, everypony who knew and loved him had him ripped away. Because of me, he would never grow up and become the wonderful young stallion he otherwise would have been. Because of me, he's gone.
"I...I *hic* I'm s-so *sniff* so sorry!" Were the only words I could force from my mouth. "I'm so *hic* sor-sorry, little guy! I'm so sorry f-for what I *sniff* did to y-you!"
I couldn't help it, I just collapsed onto the floor and began bawling like a maniac. It was just hitting me so hard, I just couldn't stand up anymore while I shed my guilty tears and shivered on the floor before my innocent victim. I honestly highly doubt I'll ever forgive myself for what I have done. I couldn't get myself to do or say anything else at this point and after a few minutes, my bawling finally gave way to quiet sobbing for him. It seemed like my tear ducts were tapped out dry and the faint tapping of a couple sets of hooves behind me signaled that my time was up but I could go pay my debt knowing that I at least did what I could.
"Miss Lime..." One of the officers behind me said. "...It's time to go."
Chapter 4: One Year Later...
Starting tonight, for the next year, I am a convicted felon and am property of the Equestrian government. As such, according to them, my name is no longer Creampuff Lime. Until my release, my name is now 42924-06 and I will be wearing an orange shirt with that embroidered on it the entire time, save for showering.
First, myself and a group of other new arrivals had orientation with the warden accompanied by her head guard who was honestly more intimidating than the judge I just went before. She was a huge unicorn mare and even if I was a hardened tough gal of a convict, I wouldn't wanna tangle with her. Most of the other mares I was chained to seemed to feel the same way. Even with those sunglasses, I could feel her eyes burning into me as she stared us all down, one by one.
After orientation, we were told to shower, put on our bright orange shirts where from there, we will be taken to our cells for "lights out" at ten o'clock. I'd better enjoy this shower while I get it because from here on out, I'll only be allowed to take one once a week and if I need to piss, I better ask for permission first. For what brought me here however, I have no right whatsoever to whine and bitch about it. I'm paying for my crime and I'm gonna take it like a grown mare.
It felt really weird showering with a bunch of other mares, mostly because I was easily the smallest one there. I started to wonder If I should just accept that I would die here, these girls all keep smirking at me and whispering to each other. All these big, tough mares with all kinds of tattoos, scars, and spiked up manes look like they'd beat my ass as soon as look at me. And I though Rainbow Dash the wonderbolt was tough, but not like this.
The shower seemed to go well enough, I just kept to myself and avoided eye contact. Not hard to do as I would have to look straight up if I wanted to engage with somepony. After taking a few minutes to dry myself off, I then put on my assigned shirt with my number on it as I stood in front of a mirror in the washroom. This would prove to be my first mistake in prison and a big one at that.
This was the first time since that fateful day last week that I looked at a mirror, I just couldn't get myself to do it before. Now, to see myself standing here donning an orange shirt with my new numerical name embroidered on the front was just...ugh, it was sickening. Not only was it sickening to see me, a former star pupil and valedictorian reduced to a convicted felon, it irked me to so much as look myself in the eyes. I was looking into the eyes of somepony who took the life of an innocent ten year old colt and the sight of my own self started to piss me off to a point where I lost any and all ability to think straight.
"Creampuff, you fucking piece of shit!" I yelled as I raised a hoof and bashed the mirror with all my earth pony strength.
"Whoa! Check out the little chick!" One of the other convicts said, sounding impressed.
"Niiice! Don't mess with her! I bet she's gonna make a shank out of the busted pieces!" Said another.
"What's going on in here!?" Said a third voice as the washroom door burst open. "Everypony up against the wall!!"
I was shaking and hyperventilating so bad that I wasn't even aware of what was going on around me. With my hoof still raised and shivering like mad, I couldn't even find it in myself to pay any mind to the sound of giant hoofsteps stomping up behind me. My eyes were shut tight as I desperately tried to calm down but that didn't help anyway as firm "ahem" from behind me broke me out of my trance just to throw me into a new one. When I opened my eyes, I saw that the room had gone dark all of a sudden but I turned around to find that I was merely standing within somepony's shadow.
There I stood before the biggest mare I had ever seen in my entire life, the unicorn head corrections officer who gave me the creeps since the moment I arrived. Accompanying her were two slightly shorter but just as intimidating uniformed mares, one a pegasus and another an earth pony. All three had their collapsable batons out and ready to bludgeon anypony who so much as moved a muscle without them saying so. Never in my life have I ever experienced a moment where I honestly thought I was going to die.
"Damaging prison property..." The giant mare said, her head slowly shaking in disapproval. "Hon, didn't you just get here like, what, an hour ago?"
I could do nothing but let my mouth quiver as I stood there wide eyed, staring up at the pissed off, snorting mare as her two subordinates stood by her side and smirked at me. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, the behemoth of a prison guard placed the end of her baton on the bridge of my muzzle, right between my eyes as she lifted her sunglasses with her aura and stared down at me.
"Baby, you're about to learn why we don't do that shit around here." The head guard said before turning around, taking a few steps and stopping in her tracks. "Take her to solitary!" She commanded.
I couldn't even get myself to gasp. I couldn't do anything as the two smaller guards who were still at least twice my size each grabbed me by my front legs and began dragging my sorry ass out of the room as their boss lead the way. To see a bunch or hardened convicts watch me being dragged out with the look of genuine pity on their faces was what really indicated to me that there was a chance that I may not survive here. This place is going to chew me up and spit me out. Whether I was alive or not after it was done with me would be all up to chance.
After the guards dragged me down a few hallways, they stopped in front of a door at the end of one of the halls where I would be spending as much time isolated from everypony else as these guards wanted me to. I belonged to them and I was completely at their mercy, not that they were about to grant me any, I would soon find out. Before shoving me into the tiny room, the two lower ranking guards turned me to face their boss who was standing there cracking her neck. My pupils shrank to pin pricks as I suddenly realized what she was about to do to me while her goons held me in place.
"Honey, lemme tell you a little somethin." The head guard said as she cocked back one of her gargantuan hooves and shoved it into my gut as hard as she could. "I don't like ponies..." Thwack! "...who run over foals..." Thwack! "...with their car..."
She then turned her attention from my stomach to my face.
"You may only be here for only one lousy fuckin' year..." Thwack! "...but Imma make this..." Thwack! "...the hardest..." Thwack! "...year..." Thwack! "...of your life!" Thwack!
Once the guards were done beating me senseless, they tossed my limp body into the tiny room and shut the door, leaving me to soak in my own blood. This was far from the end but just the very beginning of the Tartarus that would now be my life. Though I was supposedly here to pay my debt to society for what I've done, these mares just reminded me that will only happen the day I die. As I lie sobbing on the floor, in a puddle of my own blood and tears, the words echoed through my mind as I slowly passed out and let darkness take me over.
"I deserve this... I deserve this...I deserve this..."
One year later...
A full year has gone by and my sentence is finally up. Never in my life have I been so homesick and now, I was slowly trotting out the front gate of the prison a free mare. My parents were there for me every step of the way and had just arrived to take me home where I could pick up the pieces of what remained of my life and salvage as much of it as I can.
I'll never get over the mere fact that I even survived prison in the first place. Over the past twelve months, I have been beaten by guards and inmates alike, I don't even know how many times. I've had bones broken, chunks of my mane torn out, teeth knocked out, eyes blackened and more. I have been stuck with what was once a toothbrush, sharpened into a shank, hell I've even been raped a couple times. Not exactly how I planned on losing my virginity but it's all finally over and I can go home and pick up where I left off.
I can never tell my parents the things I went through, I have already hurt them more than enough. I greeted them with the widest smile I could muster as the front gate opened, giving me access to the outside world for the first time in a full agonizing year. I just wish the guard hadn't put her hoof on my butt and shoved me out the way she did right in front of them. Though they were happy to see me, I could see it in both of their eyes that they took offense to the head corrections officer who used me as her punching bag the whole time shoving me out of the gate like that. If that was enough to irk them, they must never know about the rest.
"I missed you both so much!" I sobbed my parents and I hugged each other tight. The visited me every single weekend while I was locked up but I still missed them more than when college kept us apart.
"We missed you too, baby!" Mom sobbed. My Dad obviously felt the same way but he was sobbing to profusely to be able to tell me verbally. "Come on, let's go home! Your room is ready for you to move right in! We know you'll need time to get back on your hooves so you can stay with us as long as you need!"
Home sounded pretty good right about now. What I wouldn't give to just go home and spend time with Mom and Dad, it was the happiest I've been since that fateful day. I was no longer in the clutches of the justice system and I could finally move on with my life. If there was anything prison did to me, it made me feel like a filly again but not in a good way. Bed no later than ten, only an hour to spend at the library and I had to ask permission every time I had to piss. But it's over, now I get to focus on being home and now debt free...or so I thought.
"Aw, son of a bitch!" My Dad cursed as we pulled into our driveway.
"Damn it! Those vandals again!" My Mom huffed out of frustration.
I peaked in between my parents from the back seat and sure enough, somepony had spray painted graffiti all over the garage door. The second my Dad stopped the car, he shut it off, hopped out and quickly opened the garage door as if wanting to hide it. It was too late for me anyway, I already saw that it said "Killpuff Lime lives here". I could understand if ponies hate me but why do they have to drag my parents into this? They've done nothing wrong.
"How often does this happen?" I ask as I step out of the car behind my folks.
"Oh, don't worry, sweetie, this is the first time it's happened and I bet it's the last." My Mom replied, clearly lying to keep me calm and spare my feelings.
"But you said it was those vandals 'again'".
"Oh...well I, uh...don't worry about it hon. All they're doing is showing the world that they're just a bunch of punks. Now, who's up for lunch? We need to catch up and I know one of your favorite movies is on tonight!"
"Why's the mailbox busted?"
"The snowplow must have hit it." My Dad replied with a dismissive wave of his hoof, like it was no big deal.
"But it's late Spring..."
"Our new mailmare has some anger issues." My Dad lied. "Don't worry about it though, she'll get them sorted out...heheh, sorted . You know...because that's what a...mailmare...does."
My Dad was never good at jokes but that one was just an awful attempt to shed some light on the dark fact that not much has blown over and that ponies have been targeting my parents who have done nothing wrong. Now that I'm out of the joint, I'm afraid that things might get even worse. I thought that once I got out of prison, my life would have some sort of normalcy to it but instead I find that I'm going to be nothing but a burden on my parents.
I know for a fact that I am but of course they'd never tell me that, but be that as it may, I have the ability to change that. I'm twenty-three years old now, I'm not going to sit around and mooch off my parents. I have the means to put my life back together and damn it, I'm gonna do it! Though the county yanked my driver's license before I went to jail and I have to start over if I want to drive again...after a two year probation period is up. I'd be hard pressed to find anypony who'd want to give me a job around here. I've gotta do what I can with what I have to work with.
Ahh, I can think about all that later on. Right now, I need to spend time with my Mom and Dad and catch up with them. They're all I've got and without them, I'd soon be a babbling lunatic on the streets somewhere. I've got to cherish every moment I have with them. The depressing stuff aside, I have the two ponies who mean the most to me by my side and my foalhood bedroom waiting for me after a night of watching movies together.
My first night on the outside turned out to be the best night I've had in an entire year. Laughs were shared, ice cream was eaten and hugs were plentiful but all good things come to an end as the year I spent behind bars wrecked my sleep cycle. We could all repeat this tomorrow but I could sleep tonight knowing that I could finally begin to enjoy life once again. The bed alone was enough to draw tears of joy from me as it soothed my sore back so after having to sleep on a rock hard cot in a cell. To top that all off, I knew I'd never have to worry about somepony coming in to rip the mattress open in search of contraband. Everything was going to be fine.
I've got nothing to complain about right now. The sun's shining and beginning to set on this gorgeous Spring late afternoon, the temperature is a perfect seventy degrees, and friends and neighbors smile and wave as I drive by in my Coltswagen. All four windows are down and and I'm just enjoying the breeze though my mane as I cruise down the main drag of my home town at a slow and steady thirty miles per hour. I don't have anywhere to go but I'm enjoying every second of this leisurely Sunday drive.
Life is good and it's the simple things in life like this that just make me giddy. I'm a simple girl and it doesn't take much to make me happy. My car's a fourteen year old model, the air conditioner doesn't work, and with over two hundred thousand miles on it, it burns a little bit of motor oil but that's just plain okay with me. She gets me from A to B and that's all I need. As happy I was with this car that I paid fifteen hundred bits for three years ago though, I was about to find another issue as the steering suddenly began pulling to the right.
Alright, no big deal. The brakes on the front, right wheel are probably seized or maybe the tire is losing some air. It happens sometimes, it's to be expected with an older car. Wait...I can't...I can't move the steering wheel! What the fuck is wrong with this car!? No! Now the wheel is pulling to the right even further! It's like it has a mind of its own! I've gotta stop this car! I'll just have to press the brake pedal down and call for a tow once it...sinks to the floor! Shit! I don't have much of a choice! With no other option, I reach down with my right hoof and pull the emergency brake lever to the right of my seat as far up as it will go and...nothing!
Oh no, this is bad! This is really bad! Shit, shit, shit! What else can I do!? Oh, I know! I'll just shift the transmission into neutral and I'll just glide to a stop. The road ahead of me is clear so I should be stopped and on the phone with a wrecker in no time!
"Here goes everything!" I said aloud as I grabbed the shift lever on the steering column and slammed it down to Neutral.
KERKLUNK!
Oh shit, that didn't sound good. It didn't even work! My car is still going and...picking up speed!? Sweet Celestia, I'm gonna die! Oh fuck, what am I gonna do!? What the...no...
My heart sank to the pit of my stomach as a school bus directly in front of me by about a hundred yards slowly putted to a stop and began to flash its red lights. The sun is setting, why are the buses still even out!? There's a colt hopping off!! I've gotta warn them! The only way I can catch their attention is to press my hoof down on the center of my steering wheel and blow my horn. If only my horn worked! What's happening!? It worked just fine just a minute ago when I was honking to greet neighbors as I drove by!
I can't stop nor steer this runaway car and now I'm zooming down the sidewalk at fifty miles per hour with a little colt right in my path!! I was helpless to stop it and the only thing I could do was to shut my eyes and wait for the inevitable thump of the little foal on my front bumper and another two thumps from my tires going over his little body.
SCREEEEECH!
Oh NOW my car decides to stop!? Once it screeched to a halt, I waste no time jumping out and galloping towards the back to see what became of the little blue unicorn colt. There sat my car parked on the sidewalk with skid marks behind it leading to where the yellow bus is still parked but...where did the little guy go? Did he jump out of the way? Had the driver of the bus seen me coming and pulled him back into the bus in the nick of time?
" Whyyyy..." A weedy little voice sobbed from directly behind my car making my stomach turn and my blood run cold.
Fearing the worst, I rushed to the rear of my car and looked down to see staring up at me with tears flowing down his face and blood from underneath him a tiny little unicorn colt with a mane of dark blue and a coat of lighter blue. He was lying on his stomach, his horn busted in half, one of his forelegs dislocated and his left eye hanging out of his socket as he stared up at me and continued to sob.
"W-w-why did you do this to meee?" The colt sobbed as he tried to pull himself out from under my car. "I didn't...*sniff* I never did anything to you...this *hic* it hurts so bad...why did you hurt me?"
I could do absolutely nothing but gawk in horror as the little colt used all his strength to try to pull himself from under my bumper from where he seemed to be stuck. As he struggled and grunted while he began to budge, my mouth went dry and every hair on my body stood on end. What I saw when he finally started to crawl out from under the car will haunt me every waking moment for the rest of my life.
I began to hyperventilate when the sudden realization that the lower half of this colt's body was completely missing with nothing but intestines and an ever growing puddle of blood forming in its place. Still sobbing profusely, the little colt continued to crawl away, dragging his guts behind him with every inch he went. I couldn't mentally handle this. I just couldn't do it. With my own waterworks flowing at full bore, from my eyes and probably soon my bladder, I let out a scream of pure anguish.
"GAAAAAAAAAHAHAAAAAH!" I shrieked as I flailed about under the now soaking wet covers in my bed.
It was just a dream? It was just a dream! Oh, praise be to Faust, it was just a dream!! Maybe I'll be grateful for that later on but now, I'm having trouble breathing and every moment I lay her, I'm pissing myself with no way to stop it. Okay, okay, just calm down, Creampuff. I can hear a couple sets of hooves frantically galloping down the hallway towards my room before my door flung open revealing the two ponies I'd be nothing without rushing to my side. I think I'm going to be okay.
"Puff Puff!!" My parents screamed in unison as they dashed into my room and held me tight.
"It's okay, sweetie, we're here for you." My Dad said as he and my Mom both embraced me while I sobbed into their chests.
"Baby, here, you're...you're soaking wet. Let's get you in a nice hot shower, okay? We're going to be by your side every step of the way, don't ever forget that."
As my Dad started to gather my piss soaked sheets and blankets and collect them in a laundry basket, my Mom helped my pull my shaking and shivering self out of the bed. I just didn't have the strength to do it on my own. Slowly but surely, I limped out of my room with my Mom by my side, relieved that the bloody, gory situation was just a dream but now giving way to a new problem.
I began to heave and immediately, my mother and I quickened our pace to the bathroom as we both knew very well what was coming next. My cheeks then began to swell up with everything that I ate before until I just couldn't hold it anymore and released it into the toilet that I had reached just in time. As I continued to yak up everything I had eaten, all the while still sobbing like a maniac at the pain, the embarrassment, and the horrors of what I just saw, my Mom held my mane out of the way and my dad gently rubbed my back.
Though it was something of pure, unadulterated terror of a nightmare that I just had, to have my parents both putting in such a team effort to help me in itself was enough to at least get me to begin to calm down. Still, aside from being in prison, to have pissed all over myself for my parents to clean up made me feel more pathetic than I had ever felt in my twenty-three years of existence.
Author's Note
Edit: Okay, I just saw the chapter title mistake and fixed it. I really should quit drinking so much...
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Chapter 5: A Different Way to Paint the Town Red
I still can't believe I pissed myself last night. I'm also still shaken up by that nightmare I had that caused me to wet my bed. Just when I thought I could put my mistake in the past, my subconscious thoughts decided to come back and throw it right in my face. When I was in prison, not a day went by without me feeling deep regret for what I did to end up there but I never had dreams as horrifying as the one I had last night.
I'll never take my Mom and Dad for granted. Who knows where I'd be without them and I hate to even think about it. After I was done throwing up, they washed my piss soaked sheets and stayed by my side all night until I could finally get exhaustion to take its toll on me. I don't recall having any dreams after that but I couldn't stop thinking about it after I woke up. I can't believe I slept in so late, I didn't get out of bed until ten o'clock. Then again, I didn't get back to sleep again until about five in the morning.
Both my parents are at work now and I bet they're going to spend their entire day worried sick about me. I really need to pay them back for all the shit I put them through. The least I can do is make myself useful while I'm here. At twenty three, my parents took me back in after I got out of prison and they're not charging me any rent, not that I have a single bit to my name anyway.
I trotted around the house in search of something to do, any messes to clean up, dishes to wash and the like. My parents were always neat freaks so of course the place was spotless. Not even the windows had a single smudge on them nor the floors a single speck of dust. I need to do something for them while they're at work. Oh! The garage looked kinda messy when I got back yesterday and Dad is always tinkering with stuff out there! I know what I'll do! First things first though.
I wasted no time getting the things I would need for the task ready and with a bucket full of strong paint removing solvent and a brush with stiff bristles, I went outside, pulled the garage door back down and went to work. It was because of me that somepony came by and started spray painting this on my parents' property, the least I can do is scrub it off. Forget that it was meant to insult me, this isn't my house.
It was really hard to look at but still I scrubbed on. To think that ponies who were once my neighbors and even friends from around town now refer to me as "Killpuff Lime" hurt more than any beating I had gotten from the biggest and toughest of prison guards and inmates. I guess that was enough motivation for me to wipe it away that much faster. Okay, that wasn't such a chore, now was it? Now, I'll just lift the overhead door back up and start cleaning the inside of the garage.
It was a single car garage detached from the house with enough room to park another car next to the one already in there if there was another door to pull it into. Perfect for any neat little projects for my Dad to work on but not with that mess taking up space. Not for much longer, because I'm going to take care of it. My old Coltswagen is still parked in here too. It's going to be a long time before I'm going to be allowed a driver's license again so I insisted that my parents try to sell it just to be rid of the thing. They couldn't even pay somepony to take it off their hooves after word spread around what it was involved in so they just parked it in the garage, out of sight and out of mind.
I made so many memories with that old car. It was my very first one of course and I'd gone on so many fun road trips with friends and even had my first kiss after a date when I was eighteen. As I trotted around the car that was pulled in front bumper first, the sweet memories just kept coming back. Every little dent and paint chip, the big scrape on the passenger side where I got a little too close to the little yellow post next to a gas pump...heh, that was the day I my friends and I went to see that Spectrebusters movie. All those fun times went re-playing through my mind up until I trotted around the front end of the car. What I saw when I reached up to pull a string that switched the light on would ruin my day once again.
"Gaaahh!!" I screamed as I jumped back and fell on on my rump.
Just when I had a moment to reminisce about some of the good times I've had, I was greeted by the sight of a big dent in the front bumper of the car with a hideous splash of crimson covering it. My heart began to race much like it did the other night as I sat there gasping at the splatters of blood creating a puddle on the garage floor as it dripped. I began to panic and shuffle on the floor to scoot away from the stain until my back was against the wall. I started to hyperventilate and in a desperate attempt to drown out what I was seeing, I tightly shut my eyes and violently shook my head around. To my sanity, when I opened my eyes again and took a second look, the blood that coated the whole front end of the car was gone.
It wasn't really there! I was just seeing things! Though I could slow down my breathing and calm myself down now that I knew that I was just seeing something that wasn't there there was still the issue of...well, seeing something that wasn't there. There is something seriously wrong with me. After sitting there, crying for a few minutes, I picked my sorry flank back up and very slowly trotted back into the house where I took to the bathroom to splash some cold water over my face.
"Okay, pull it together." I said to myself as I stood with my forehooves on the edge of the bathroom sink. "That wasn't really there...it's all in my head...I'm just gonna take a breather, and go down there and clean the garage for Mom and Dad."
After taking a moment to gather myself and down a glass of water, I went back down to the garage with no crimson puddle in sight went to work. It wasn't totally trashed so cleaning the garage didn't take much longer than about a half hour. After rearranging my Dad's tools, dusting the shelves and neatly organizing everything else, I took a step back to give my work a once over. Not bad. I'm just glad I can at least make myself useful around here while my parents are at work. Come to think of it, I think it's garbage day, so I should go back inside and bring the cans to the curb.
While I dragged the steel can to the end of the driveway, I got a new idea of something I could do. I trotted back into the garage and after sorting through the stuff I'd need for my next project, I trotted out sporting my Dad's tool belt and a couple small planks of wood on my back. It was a snap. I nailed the two planks in place to fix the post that the mailbox sat upon and a rubber mallet to tap out the dents. After that, I gave it a nice new coat of teal paint from a can I found in the garage. Good as new!
That little "illusion incident" aside, I was feeling pretty good. For the first time in a whole year, I could actually give back to somepony besides just weeks and months of my life. It was a small start but it was progress nonetheless. Just because I have no way to get around doesn't mean that I'm completely useless. I have so much to give! I bet if I just take a trot around town I can find someway to help ponies. Again, it's the least I can do but alas, it'd have to be another day as my parents would be home soon and I wanted to have dinner ready by then.
Admittedly, I learned a lot of things I could do with ramen while I was locked up, not that I'm proud if it or anything. Still, I'm just glad I could make use of some of the dozens of packs of it my parents had stored in the pantry. I threw that together along with some spinach, tomatoes, a poached egg on top along with some other stuff and sure enough, the family sedan pulled into the driveway not two minutes after I finished cooking. To see their tired eyes light up at the now clean garage door and repaired mailbox made me feel the best I have in a very long time. I can't wait until they come in and see that they don't have to make dinner.
"Creampuff, sweetie, you didn't have to do all this!" My Dad beamed as he and Mom trotted through the front door. "Ooh, that smells good!"
"Mom, Dad, I'm not about to start mooching off you two and not making myself useful around here." I said with giggle.
"Puff Puff, You're not mooching off us!" My mom gasped. "What, you think we're just going to let our own daughter wander the streets and starve?"
"We're helping you get back up on your hooves because we love you!" My Dad added.
The way I was feeling before, it did nothing but help me feel so much better to hear them say that. Still, I refuse to sit around the house and do nothing all day while my parents work hard to support my grown ass. My Mom, my Dad, and I all enjoyed our dinner together and shared a few laughs like we did last night. I'm really glad they didn't ask me how or where I learned to make ramen look like a five star meal, that would have been awkward to say the least. I mean, I did eat a lot of it when I was going to college, so I guess I didn't have just prison to thank.
It took me a while to fall asleep later that night because obviously, I was still thinking about the dream I had last night and the bloody illusion I saw earlier today. Once again, I tossed around the dilemma of whether or not I should tell my parents that I started seeing things but ultimately decided not to, again because more worrying about me was the last thing they needed. After a little while of playing some late night video games though, fatigue was finally winning the battle and I could quietly drift off to sleep. Today was a better and I could go to sleep, confident that from here on out, things could only get better still.
Gasp!
Or not. Once again, I sprang awake in the middle of the night after a nightmare, this time about standing in front of the grave of that colt before the ground burst open and his rotting body crawled out and chased me around. I woke up right at the moment where he caught up to me and began gnawing at my skull. The only positive thing about this is that I didn't scream and wake my parents. I just couldn't get myself to fall asleep again, not after another nightmare about that little colt.
Weeks went by and night after night, I had some form of dream about Clutzy, that little colt I killed last year. I never had dreams this bad when I was locked up but now that my punishment in prison was over, a new torment was beginning and constantly reminding me that I got off easy and deserved to suffer much more. The sad part is that it's probably true.
From being cast down to burn forever in Tartarus to looking into the eyes of that innocent little colt as his life fizzled out, you name it, I dreamt it. Save for the occasional crawling out of my room to eat, shower and make a pathetic attempt to help around the house, I spent most of my time holed up in my room and my parents were starting to really worry. Before heading out to work for the day, they both decided to have a talk with me about it in hopes that I would take a different approach and ultimately have a better day.
"Puff Puff, sweetie?" My Dad said to me, my Mom standing next to him, ready to offer her own advice. "Your mother and I both agree that it might be good for you to get out and enjoy the weather today."
"Try taking a trot around town and maybe to the park." My Mom added. "The local fire department is having one of its barbeques and your friends usually go, don't they? I bet they'd love to see you again."
"It's...worth a shot." I said, very unsure about the idea.
I had a good reason to have my doubts. Just a few weeks ago, somepony vandalized my parents' garage door and broke their mailbox so who knows what ponies might do if they see me trotting around town. No matter which way I look at it though, it's a risk I have to take. I need to get some fresh air and sunlight before I go even crazier so as I stood at the end of our driveway, staring in the direction of the busier side of town, I took a deep breath and began trotting down the sidewalk into my hometown for the first time in a year. I had no idea what could happen and honestly didn't want to even think about it. Luckily, the beautiful weather did help distract me.
I was going at a slug's pace just to really enjoy the sights of the flowers blooming and the smells of my neighbors' gardens and admittedly, going slow always helped keep me calm. I had a few bits that I had saved in my room with me in case I wanted to buy a drink or something. Hey, what do I have to lose? Well, regardless, I was nervous and almost shivering as I trotted down the sidewalk towards another pony from town who was trotting towards me in the opposite direction. This will be the first time I've interacted with anypony who wasn't my parents or an inmate in a long time.
I couldn't show how nervous I really was if I wanted to stop and make small talk with a neighbor but it was easier said than done. As I trotted up to this mare in her early thirties, I gave as normal of a smile as I could, not too big and not too toothy as to creep somepony out. We were closing in on each other and I knew this mare from around town too, then again, everypony knows each other in Trottski. Only a few feet away now, I'm just going to make it a short and sweet greeting.
"Good morning." I said with a smile and a little wave as I stopped on the sidewalk.
She just kept on trotting and didn't even so much as make eye contact with me. Okay, I can't say I didn't see that coming. It could have been a lot worse, at least she didn't wind up and smack me upside the face. Maybe it's not even me, maybe she's just having a rough day or just doesn't have time to chit chat. No problem, the day is young, there is plenty to do out there and I have a little bit of spending money. I just shrugged it off as nothing and went on my merry way.
A few blocks later, I came across another pony, a stallion about my Dad's age. Like I mentioned before, everypony knows each other in this town and this one I think is the father of one of my classmates from high school. He's got his eyes straight ahead as he's trotting my way and a small smile as he seems to be enjoying the nice weather. What could it hurt to say hello?
"Hi!" I greeted with a smile. "Jury Rigg's dad, right? How are you?"
"Don't...even...talk to me." The stallion said without so much as looking at me, his smile taking its quick leave.
I'll be honest, that really hurt. If he hadn't said anything at all, then I could give him the excuse that maybe he just didn't hear me or something but he made it obvious that he didn't want to be anywhere near me. Though I barely knew the guy, he was still a neighbor and a fellow member of the community I still love so much so I couldn't help but sniffle as I trotted away with my head hung.
I can't let this set the tone for the rest of my day, I just can't. There has to be somepony around I can talk to, and I haven't seen my home town in a whole year. As Faust as my witness, I am going to go trot around town and start making friends again if it kills me! I just hope it actually doesn't.
As I neared the busier side of town, I noticed more and more ponies trotting the streets, all these familiar faces that I missed so dearly just waiting for me to talk to. Ponies where all over the place chatting with one another and as I looked to the other side of the street, I saw two of my friends trotting along side by side who were the ones I was supposed to see a movie with that fateful day. I haven't seen them since before that whole mess and we were always so close! There's no way they'll snub me after all we've been through!
"Hey! Crystal! Gem!" I beamed as I trotted across the street to talk to my friends. "It's been way too long! How are you!?"
I stopped about ten feet from them as the surprised yet slightly worried looks on their faces was very discouraging. For an awkward half minute, they just stood there staring at me and my genuine smile began to turn into a look of pathetic desperation. All I wanted was for somepony to and these two who were longtime friends of mine were making quite clear that I wasn't welcome around them. It's what they said next that ripped off the old stitches, tore my heart out and smashed it on the ground harder than anything ever before.
"Uh, Creampuff..." Gem began as she scratched the back of her head, completely avoiding eye contact. "We, um...we really can't be seen talking to you."
"Come on, Gem." Crystal said as she proceeded to trot past me, never once looking me in the eye. "Let's get out of here before somepony sees us."
I was speechless, I didn't know what to say. I couldn't do anything but stand there, shaking as tears flowed down my face. The wounds were raw and as fresh as the day my life was destroyed and steadily getting worse. Two of my closest friends just trotted past me and left me there with nothing but the puddle of tears I was forming underneath me. I could actually feel physical pain in my chest as I stood there and quietly sobbed. I would soon find out though, that there actually was somepony who wanted to talk to me but whether it would be a pleasant exchange like I so badly wanted, I couldn't be sure.
BWAAAAAAAAMF!
The sound of a loud air horn that probably belonged on a semi rig blasted through the air and shook me so hard that my tear ducts shut right off. Startled, I whipped around to see a black and white police car stopped at the curb with two officers sitting in the front seat as they laughed hysterically at my reaction to the sudden din. After calming down, the officer driving the car began to roll down his window. Even though they nearly made me pee myself again, I wasn't about to be picky if there was anypony who wanted to talk to me.
"Eheheheheh. Good one, officers!" I said with a grin slapped onto my still tear soaked face. "You really got me!"
"Welcome home, Creampuff!" The officer in the driver's seat said with a smile. Whether it was genuine or not, I wasn't sure. "Glad to be back?"
"Oh! You bet I am! I've missed everypony so much!"
"I'm sure others in town missed you too." The officer in the passenger seat said, his tone being too fake to ignore. "It just hasn't...pfft, hasn't been the same without you here."
I could tell that they weren't being genuine at all but at this point, I didn't care. I just wanted somepony to talk to and these two mean cops would suffice. Just to have somepony's voice directed towards me was making me feel better.
"Well, here I am." I said. "I'm just trotting around town to...shoot the breeze with friends and neighbors, you know?"
"Hey, there you go!" The passenger said. "Not letting what happened get you down, right?"
"I'm just...trying to move on is all. I paid for my mistake and now, I'm looking for ways I can give back to my community. I think I'll find it if I just keep looking."
"That's the spirit! So look, we've gotta get going but keep your chin up, alright?"
"I plan on it! Thank you, sir!"
I turned around to keep on trotting but before driving off, the two officers of the Trottski Police Department called over and offered their last two bits of advice. It would end up ripping away whatever positive feelings I had gained from the conversation.
"Oh, and Creampuff?" The officer in the driver's seat called over, causing me to turn back around to face them. "Try not to kill any more innocent foals. Please?"
"Parents sure started getting worried after you got back, kid." The officer in the passenger seat added before the two of them laid rubber on the road, laughing their flanks off the entire way.
Another kick to the chest but I just couldn't give up! There are over two thousand ponies in this town, there's got to be somepony who will talk to me without treating me like garbage! At this point, I'm getting desperate. Just a couple words of genuine dialog is all I ask for and my day will be complete. I know! I'm getting a little thirsty so I'll just trot into this store to buy a soda and make small talk with the clerk!
"Get the hell out of here, Lime!" The clerk behind the counter shouted the second I stepped through the door.
Okay, that didn't work. It's getting even more and more painful as I go on, but still, I just keep going in search of somepony to have a nice, civil conversation with.
"Geez, they sure let you out pretty quick." A mare said with utter disgust as we trotted past one another.
"I can't even stand to look at you!" Another said a few yards later. "You better get away from me right now, I don't even know what I'll do!"
"How can you even live with yourself?" A stallion snapped at me.
"You do know that nopony wants you around here, right?" A mare who was once my old foalsitter spat.
"You're dead to this town, you hear me!?" A stallion shouted at me from the other side of the street.
It was what another mare said to me a few minutes later that just made something in my brain snap. Of all the horrible things, all the nasty venom ponies could spray out of their mouths at me, what was said to me next spoke to me in the worst possible way and drilled ideas into my head that I never otherwise would have even conceived in all my days.
"Why don't you just kill yourself?" A pegasus mare spat as she swooped over my head and gave me a rude hoof gesture. "Seriously, nopony wants anything to do with you, you'd be better off dead."
I had to really stop and seriously ponder what was just said to me. I honestly had so much to give but not a single soul around to let me prove it. I had lost every single one of my friends and was doing nothing but dragging my Mom and Dad down with me. The almost four weeks I've been out of prison, the weeks that should have been my absolute best in all my life were turning out to be even worse. In prison, I at least had others to talk to and occasionally, I would have a bigger, stronger mare standing up for me when I was pushed around.
As I trotted back home, all kinds of things rushed through my mind, all the things I could do if I were to actually off myself. I could get something that looks like and gun and point it at a cop or maybe just rip his out of his holster and blow my brains out. I could jump into the Smelt River with a big, heavy weight around my neck. I think there's a jug of antifreeze in the garage.
No! I can't do this to my parents! If I killed myself, it would destroy them! What was I thinking!? No, I've gotta get this idea out of my head! I could never commit suicide. Could I? As I trotted on with my head hung low, I couldn't help but notice something that drove the horrible thoughts into my head even further. Soon before I was locked up, there was construction on a new apartment complex on a street a few blocks away from my parents' place and it looks like it has since been finished.
There aren't many buildings taller than two or three stories in this little town but this one was a solid ten and had to be a hundred...no, more like a hundred and twenty feet from the rooftop to the asphalt parking lot below. I was stuck in a trance of sorts as I stared up at this gleaming tower that could be my saving grace and I could think of just one thing and one thing only...would a fall from that height be enough to kill me?
I shook my head violently and began galloping back home. I had to get these thoughts out of my head and fast! I need to be around the only ponies in the world who care about me, I've never been so depressed in my life! Everywhere I turned, everywhere I looked, somepony was giving me a look of complete and total disgust and made it even all the more clear that I simply wasn't wanted around anymore. That did nothing but drive the point in even deeper and I was genuinely terrified that I would soon snap and do something foolish.
Finally, I was home and locked back in my bedroom where I could cry in as much peace as I could while I waited for my parents to return home, all the while not being able to get the image of that building out of my head. I needed my Mom and Dad so badly, just to be around them could very well save my life! But, that begs the question. Did I actually want my life saved? Since the day I made the biggest mistake in my life, I have endured nothing but torment and misery, not that I didn't deserve every bit of it. I'm just not strong enough and that's all there is to it.
I can't shake these thoughts no matter what I do. Finally, it was six o'clock and I could hear my parents trotting through the door so I wiped the tears from my face and quickly put a couple drops of eye moisturizer in my eyes to get rid of the redness and trotted downstairs to greet my Mom and Dad. After dinner, we enjoyed a night on the sofa watching movies together side by side and enjoyed many tight group hugs together. I went out of my way to tell them both how much I loved them more frequently than usual and I made sure to hug them every second I was given a chance whether they liked it or not, though I knew they did. I was going to make this the best, most love filled night with my parents as I had made the decision that it would be my last.
It was now three o'clock in the morning and I had just finished making the last changes to my long goodbye note and left it on my bed before trotting down the hallway and stopped as I reached my parents' room, the door open just a crack. I needed to take a good long look at my Mom and Dad who I loved to no end as they slept soundly as it would be the last time I ever saw them. Within the hour, I would be lying in a pool of my own blood on a freshly paved parking lot.
"I love you two...so much." I whispered as I trotted away from my parents' room, down the stairs and out the door where I would put my plan into action.
The crickets were chirping and the moon was full on this beautiful, cool late spring night and the glow of the street lamps burned brightly as I trotted to the street where I saw that tall building. It felt so bittersweet to take one last look at the surroundings before it would all come to and end soon. It felt so weird to think that these moments of taking it all in were the last moments of my very life as I knew it. But it had to be done. I was nothing but a burden on my parents and the rest of society and there was nothing that I could do to give back what I took from my community. The words "I am a waste of space" echoed through my mind as the apartment complex came into view.
It was the perfect plan, really. The building wasn't open yet so there'd be no chance of getting caught sneaking around the hallways plus at this hour, should I somehow survive the fall, nopony would be around to help me, if anypony would actually do that, that is. That way, I could ensure that I would die from this. Luck would have it that the front double door was unlocked too, so I took one final look back at my beloved hometown that I had let down so badly before I retreated into the building and began to climb the stairs to the top.
Finally, I reached the top of the building and slowly trotted out the door that lead down to the tenth floor. Very slowly, I trotted towards the side where the hard parking lot was and my heart started to pound like never before. Was I actually going to do this? I'm actually going to do this! A cold sweat began to pour down my face along with the tears and when I reached the edge and stared down at the pavement below, the words from earlier echoed through my mind as one final reminder of exactly why I was doing what I was about to do.
How can you even live with yourself yourselfyourself?...You do know that nopony wants you around here, right rightright?...You're dead to this town, you hear me hear mehear me!?...Why don't you just kill yourself? Seriously, nopony wants anything to do with you, you'd be better off dead deaddead...
I took a final couple of minutes to reminisce about the good times I had in the past as my whole life flashed before me. From the day I was born, to my first kiss, my graduating high school and the wonderful times with the friends I once had. Now, it was all gone along with the innocent colt I took from this world. This was it. I was actually about to do this. As I sobbed and cried the last of my guilty tears, I closed my eyes, tilted my head up and took a deep breath as I raised a hoof to step over the side and fall to my death.
"No! Please don't!" A sad sounding, weedy little voice said from behind me. "I never wanted this to happen! Please don't jump!"
Chapter 6: Clutzy's Return
Oh no! Somepony followed me here and now they're trying to stop me from doing what I have to do! Oh no, what am I gonna...wait. Sompony actually wants to stop me from offing myself? After what I've done? How could it be? I thought this entire town hated my guts! I never thought I'd ever experience such kindness from one of my neighbors ever again. I need to see who's behind me, maybe for once, I could actually make a friend. Well, here it goes. I slowly took a couple steps away from the edge and turned around to see the kind soul who wished to save me from my own self.
"Okay, I have officially lost my damn mind." I said aloud as I turned around to once again see an illusion of that light blue colt I took from this world.
My own mind wanted to play a sick trick on me one last time before I jumped to my death and it wasn't pulling any punches. Standing on the rooftop, about ten feet in front of me, was Clutzy Luvvie himself and holy shit, did he look like he was actually there, save for the fact that I could see everything right through him. I've seen plenty of photographs of him before the accident and I know for a fact, it was one last "fuck you" from my own mind just to add insult to injury.
Usually, shaking my head gets the image out of my mind but I knew I'd gone off the deep end when I saw that he was still there, just staring up at me, his at first sad look, turning into one of curiosity. After staring at me with a cocked eyebrow and his head tilted, he suddenly rose up three feet from the roof and floated through the air over to me where he stopped about a foot in front of my face. As his eyes stared into mine, he floated to the left, my head almost involuntarily turning and my eyes following him the whole way. He then floated to my right with much of the same results.
Why does my own brain have to torment me right before I die? After a few more times of floating to my left and to my right, the seemingly real illusion tried a new approach and waved his hoof right in front of my face, causing me to blink and scrunch up my muzzle. He still gave me a very quizzical look as he then floated circles around me, almost as if he were testing me somehow. It seemed to freak him out that my gaze was following him about as much as it was freaking me out that my mind was tricking me into seeing him. Suddenly, he tried yet another approach.
"Boo!" The illusion said suddenly, getting a gasp from me as I took a few steps back.
Upon seeing my reaction, the illusion then floated backwards with his hooves over his mouth out of shock. I don't get it, why is he acting so freaked out? After another few seconds of us staring at each other, he finally broke the awkward silence again and it was enough to push me over the edge...literally.
"YOU CAN SEE ME!?" The transparent figment of my imagination shrieked, startling me to the point where I took a few steps back...right over the edge of the building.
"Gaah!" I screamed as I began to fall.
"No! I've got you! Just hang on!"
Out of what seemed to be some sort of reflex, the transparent, floating colt grabbed my forehooves with his own and began pulling me back up. Okay, this is weird. I must have overdosed on something and completely forgotten, because it actually seems pretty real. My heart raced to a point where it felt like it was humming as somepony who I must be seeing as this colt strained and pulled me back up to the rooftop. I wish nopony saw me try to do this and I wish they would just let go. Everypony in this town knows what I did, why are they trying to save me?
Once I was pulled back up to safety, I lay there on my back sobbing, wishing so badly that they hadn't done that and debating whether I should just get back up and try it again. Though I have nothing left to give this world, I at least owe it to this kind soul who went out of his way to save me from my own self. After a moment of laying there whimpering, I slowly got back up to my hooves to see sure enough that this whacky illusion was still there and he was sitting on the rooftop, staring at his own hooves with a shocked look on his face.
"I can...I can touch you..." The colt gasped. "You can see me and I can actually touch you! Oh man, this is great! I haven't had anypony I could talk to in a whole year! I can't believe you can...where are you going!?"
I didn't know what was going on. I have never been so scared and confused in my whole life and I just had to get out of there and go anywhere but here. I don't know what I was on and I really, truly didn't remember taking anything but I just wanted it to stop and wear off. The big clusterfuck that was my mind was not about to grant me any mercy and as I frantically descended the stairs of the building, I could see that colt, that...spectre or whatever the hell it was hot on my trail.
"Wait!" The colt cried out as he gave chase.
I had to keep repeating to myself that it was all in my head and just gallop faster. Every time I turned around though, he was still there, still floating through the air behind me. Finally, I reached the bottom floor and paused to catch my breath. Even my earth pony stamina couldn't help me with the shit that I just went through and I had to stop before my heart exploded. Much to my relief though, I turned and looked in every direction and the strange figure was nowhere to be seen. For the first time in way too long, I was actually relieved about something.
"Hey, there you are!" The colt said aloud as he just came right through the ceiling and stopped right in front of my face.
"No! This isn't real!" I sobbed as I again, started to gallop away. "You're not really there!"
"But I am! Please, just hear me out!"
I couldn't let my mind get the better of me like this. I galloped out the front doors and out to the street where I continued down the sidewalk. After another hundred or so yards, I just couldn't go any further and I just had to stop and breath. I turned around again and sure enough, he was still there just staring at me and holding his hooves in front of him, almost as if trying to calm me or something. At this point, I have no other choice.
"Wh-wha...what do you want from me?" I sobbed.
"Look, I...I know who you are..." The colt began. "...and I just saw you try to kill yourself."
"I...I just can't take it anymore! The guilt is killing me, okay!? Who the...what are you anyway!?"
"Who do you think I am?"
"You look like that colt I ran over last year, but-"
"Well, I am! Look, there's gotta be a reason this is happening!"
"But this isn't happening! You're not really there!"
"Yes I am!"
At this point, a car is coming down the road and slowing down to a stop on the curb next to me and this...illusion. If somepony sees me yelling at somepony who isn't there, it's going to make things a lot worse.
"Look, I don't even know why I'm talking to you!" I snapped back. "I'm sure I just got high on something and any minute now you'll-"
"Creampuff!?" A voice from the car at the curb called over as a bright spotlight shined on me. "What are you doing out at this hour?"
"Oh! Uh, I just couldn't sleep so I'm just going for an early morning jog, officer! Heheheh, it's a beautiful night, am I right?"
"Who are you talking to? Asked the other, both of whom were the police officers who hassled me yesterday.
"I uh...I was just...singing?"
"Uhhh...okay...are you...feeling alright?" The first officer asked, sounding genuinely concerned.
"Yeah! Never better!"
They weren't buying it but as a filly, I was a terrible liar which is why I quit lying as a grown mare. Some things never change. The two cops then turned to each other and began whispering amongst themselves. What they were talking about, I don't know but I might be about to find out.
"Uh, hey, Creampuff?" The officer in the driver's seat called over. "We thought we should tell you that...we're sorry about what we said yesterday."
"And we're sorry we scared you with the air horn too." Said the other.
I couldn't believe what I was seeing or hearing and at this point, I was just begging for something, anything to make sense. First, I start seeing a fucking ghost or something and now, the two police officers who harassed me just hours ago are apologizing for it. I just wish I could wrap my mind around even one of the pieces of this clusterfuck puzzle and actually be able to come up with a coherent response to what was just said to me. After a moment of babbling and struggling to put words together, I finally managed to relearn how to speak.
"Uh, hey! No worries!" I said as I slapped a stupid grin on my face. "That...that's very nice of you guys to say! Th-thanks!"
I then took a quick glance to my left to see that sure enough, Clutzy was indeed still there and he proceeded to make a rude hoof gesture at the officers before turning back to me and shrugging. It seemed that he was trying to tell me something.
"O-okay then." The officer in the passenger seat replied. "Do you uh...need a ride home?"
"Oh, no thanks, gentlecolts!" I replied politely. "It's just a couple blocks away. I'll just trot over and go to sleep now that I've used up some energy."
"Alright. Well we...hope you feel better...a-and we actually mean it this time."
With that big, stupid grin still slapped onto my face, I gave the two local officers a wave as they turned off their spotlight and drove off into the night on this dark, empty street. Once their tail lights faded away in the distance, I turned back to where I last saw Clutzy and of course he was still there. The only thing I could do at this point was to trot home, go to sleep and once I woke up, this would all be over. I knew I wasn't shaking this guy off me until I did, so the best thing I can do is ignore him and not look like a crazy pony who talks to herself.
I slowly trotted down the lamp lit sidewalk and the little ghostly figure floated right next to me as I went along, I could see him in the corner of my eye and it looked like he was trying to come up with something to say. I just wanted so badly to out trot him but the exhaustion was too great for me to go any faster than I was. After looking around a bit as if to ensure that the coast was clear, he finally initiated conversation again.
"Okay, now that nopony else is around..." He began. "...and now that I know that you can actually see me...I feel morally obligated to tell you that I never wanted any of that to happen."
I continued trotting, hoping that he would just fade away.
"Look, I think once you get back home and get some sleep, you might start thinking a little more clearly." He continued. "I just saw you try to kill yourself so...I don't feel like it's a good idea to let you out of my sight. And now that I know that my hooves don't just go right through you, I can stop you if you try aga-."
"WHY!?" I screamed as I turned back to face him. "Why would you do that!? I'm the one who killed you!"
"Keep it down! Look, a light just turned on in that house over there! Just...calm down, okay? We can talk about this."
"Wh-why...why are you being so nice to me?"
"Well, it was an accident wasn't it?"
"Of course! I would never do something so atrocious on purpose!"
"Shh! Seriously, you're gonna wake the whole town! Let's just get you home and into bed, okay? You need to sleep."
"Damn right I...I'm in need of some serious help."
I trotted the rest of the way home with this little dude floating beside me the whole way which made for a silent and awkward trot. Through the front door and up the stairs I went, very quietly and ultimately into my bedroom where I took the note I left on my bed and tossed it to the side before flopping down onto the bed. Still, this figment of my imagination floated around my room, poking at various objects that seemed to catch his interest. He seemed to be capable of making some of the smaller, lighter objects move but the larger ones, not so much. Either way, I desperately needed to sleep so I shut my eyes and cried myself into my miserable slumber as fatigue finally won the battle.
For the first time in I don't even know how long, I felt an almost unfamiliar feeling as I lay in my bed during the late morning as Celestia's sun shining through my window gently coaxed me awake; comfort. I was actually comfortable and feeling well rested as I arched my back to crack and pop it into place and looked at the clock to see that it was...ten o'clock!? I feel like such a bum for sleeping in this late! I should be downstairs helping around the house and...why do I hear my tv on and the sound of my video games playing?
"Hey, this old school stuff you got here is pretty cool!" A voice that sounded like it belonged to a young colt beamed behind me.
"Bwaa!" I yelped, startled to see that my strange dream was still not over.
I sat there on my butt, my pillow in my hooves and my back against the wall as I stared at this colt who was still there. No matter what I did, I just couldn't shake him. Very calmly, he then proceeded to push my game controller aside, switch my tv off and turn back to face me as he floated about two feet above the floor.
"Can we talk?" The colt asked, genuine concern evident in his tone.
After pausing for a moment, I simply gave a nod.
"Okay. Now, I know who you are, and you know who I am. I assume we've established at least that much, right?"
Again, I nodded.
"Good. Now, I get that you feel pretty shitty about what happened. That's all well and good but I don't feel right about somepony killing themselves in my name."
"I don't understand." I whimpered. "I'm the reason you're dead. Why are do being so kind to me?"
"We established that it was an accident, was it not?"
"R-right."
"And yes, that probably doesn't make you feel a whole lot better about it, I get it. But you should know one thing."
"W-what? What's that?"
"I don't hate you."
"But why!? You were so young! You had your entire life ahead of you and I just came and plowed you over with my car!"
"I just don't. Hate isn't something I like to let consume me so I just don't hate others. But you know, I think we should talk about why we're actually here right now."
Clutzy then proceeded to float around my room as he tapped his chin, appearing to be stuck in deep thought. At this point, I was starting to calm down and I continued watching him as he floated around and finally turned back to me to offer more of his ghostly wisdom.
"There has to be a reason that only you can see and hear me." Clutzy said. "And weather you like it or not, I'm going to use that to both our advantages here and stick around until I know you're not gonna off yourself...that and...well, you're the only one I can actually talk to...and I've kinda been floating around town like that for a year sooo...I guess I'm crashing here!"
"Look, little buddy..." I began. "Okay, I promise I won't try to kill myself."
"Nuh-uh, I'm not buying it. I wish I would've known you can see me before, because then I would have come to you sooner. You need my help and I'm going to give it to you."
I couldn't do it. I just couldn't come up with any rational response to it and I completely broke down. This little saint wants to help me even though I'm fully responsible for his untimely demise last year? My mind can't even fathom such kindness! I could do nothing but clench my teeth and sob as I clutched onto my pillow with a deathgrip. After a few seconds of crying into the pillow, I suddenly felt an odd but welcome warmth envelope my body and this time, I knew I wasn't pissing myself.
"Wow, it's been a while since I could do this !" Clutzy said as I opened my eyes and saw that he was hugging me. "You're the only one I can touch, so if you feel like you owe me, then I'll gladly oblige."
I've never seen anything like it. I thought ghosts were cold and brought chills up the spines of those who were near them but he was so warm. Maybe it has something to do with the heart of the deceased, I don't know. I'm still having a hard time believing that this is even happening but it just seems to real to brush off as something that's only confined to my own mind. As I sat on my bed, sobbing, Clutzy then suddenly flew through the closed door and out of my room. A minute or so later, he returned with a small thump on the other side of the door.
"Oof! Dammit!" Clutzy cursed before opening the door and appearing with box of tissues in his hooves. He himself can go through things but obviously if he's holding something, it's not quite as easy. "Hey, hey, it's alright. Just let it out, okay? Always made me feel better."
A half hour of nonstop sobbing went by and my tear ducts were at long last tapped dry. I'll admit, sometimes a good, long cry does help me feel better but now I've got itchy eyes and a nasty headache. Ugh, and now my jaw hurts from clenching my teeth so much. At least I do feel a little better emotionally so at this point, I'll trade physical comfort for a moment of serenity any day. With the crying out of the way, now I needed to talk with this little dude and get some things figured out. I've got loads of questions and I bet he does too. I'll admit, it's nice to have somepony to talk to, even if he's a restless spirit.
"Thank you." I whimpered.
"Don't mention it." Clutzy replied. "So hey, I've seen how ponies around town have been treating you. I don't care who you are or what you've done, nopony in the world deserves that shit."
"I...I..."
"Like I said, if I would have known that you could see me, I would have said something sooner. So look, why don't we start over and just talk, okay? Hi, I'm Clutzy Luvvie! Nice to meet you!"
"I'm...Creampuff Lime...n-nice to meet you too. You know, I gotta ask though."
"Hm?"
"How much have you seen? Like, since the day all that happened, how much about me do you know?"
"I'll be honest, I was pretty pissed at first but I saw you go into the local funeral home last year and pay your respects. That's when I stepped back and took a good look at you and realized that you're actually a really good pony. So, anything else you wanna know? I'm not going anywhere."
I had to think about that one. I just couldn't put my hoof on what to ask next save for a really stupid and unimportant question. Like he said though, he's sticking around, so I'm sure any other questions will come to me.
"What's it like?" I asked.
"What's what like?" He replied with a cocked eyebrow and a tilted head.
"Being a ghost. I've always known that they were real but now that I'm actually talking to one..."
"Oh, it's great! I mean, it's got its pros and cons, but I can listen to grown ups talk and learn all kinds of swear words, I can fly everywhere, go through stuff...Oh, and I can do this!"
Without any forewarning whatsoever, Clutzy turned around and dashed through one of the closed drawers of my dresser where I keep my sleeping panties and began rustling around in there much to my confusion. After a moment of making the dresser shake around, the drawer burst open revealing the little ghost holding one of my panties in his hooves with an ear to ear grin on his face.
"Ohohohoho, jackpot!" Clutzy beamed as he held up his prize. "You, my dear have a fine taste in feminine sleepwear!"
"You little perv!" I snapped as I at the same time tried to stifle laughter and a blush. "Get out of there!"
"Make me!"
Like a typical young colt, he then proceeded to stick his tongue out at me as he taunted me by putting another one of my panties over his head.
"Weren't you like ten or something?" I asked, immensely confused. "That's the way I'd expect a thirteen year old to act."
"Hahaha! I was an early bloomer!" Clutzy said with a laugh. "All my buddies in school were still stuck in that whole 'oooh, fillies have cooties' crap and I'm like 'hell yeah, more fillies for me'!"
I couldn't help but snicker at how this crazy kid was acting and what he was saying. I will admit, I'm grateful that ghosts can't bleed because if he were actual flesh, he'd get a bloody nose and make a mess in my room. Though he's borderline creepy with how he's sniffing my panties the way he is, I gotta give him that, he was the first pony other than my parents to make me laugh since everything happened.
"Hey, if you think this is creepy, you should hear about all these times I sneaked into mares locker rooms and showers!" Clutzy beamed.
"Pfft, okay, okay, why don't we change the subject." I said with a snicker. I gotta give him that, he's a funny little guy. It may be creepier if he were older but at his age, it's more just plain cute and harmless. "I really need to know. How's your family doing? I haven't seen them since the accident and I'm afraid to go and talk to them."
"Oh, they're doing okay now. I don't think you'd have to worry as much as you'd think. They don't hate you either but they just aren't ready. If you wanna talk to them, wait for them to come to you."
"They don't?"
"Nope, they know that's not what I would have wanted. Now, come on, it's getting close to noon and it's a beautiful day out there. Whenever I was depressed, getting some sunshine always helped me."
"I dunno, dude. You've seen how ponies around town feel about me."
"Well, you can't just sit in here all day. I'll be behind you the whole way, don't worry."
"Aw hell, you talked me into it."
Author's Note
The Image of Clutzy being...well, Clutzy, was done by my friend mix-up. From here on out, you're going to learn a lot more about the silly, panty loving ghost colt. Feel free to leave a like as to help me make that red disappear
Chapter 7: Is it Madness?
"So earlier, you said there were pros and cons to being a ghost." I pointed out as I trotted down the sidewalk, the spirit of the young colt floating by my side. "You mentioned a bunch of pros, so what are the cons?"
"Aw, I used to love all kinds of food and I can't eat." Clutzy replied with drooping ears. "My family and friends can't see or hear me so that kinda sucks...I had a girlfriend I really liked...umm, I just discovered this cool thing I liked doing."
"What's that?"
"Oh. Uhh, never mind that."
"Oookay, I'll just take your word for it."
"Just leave it as it is, trust me. So, things must have gotten pretty bad for you to wanna jump off a building. Talk to me. What happened after they put you away?"
To think about my time in jail was the last thing I ever wanted to do again but I owed it to him to at least tell him what he wanted to know. My ears drooped and my lips began to quiver as the horrible memories came pouring back. It's not his fault, he had no idea what went down when I was behind bars, though judging by the look on his face, he could tell that I was having a rough time with it.
"Y-you don't have to talk abou-" Clutzy began before I cut in.
"It's fine, I..." I began. "...I got reminded every single day why I was there. Guards and other inmates kicked my ass just about every day. I got thrown into solitary if I so much as farted wrong."
"Pfft, eheheh...I-I mean, that's horrible! I wasn't laughing at you, I swear!"
"Heheh, that's what I get for talking about farts with a ten year old."
"Hahahaha! Stop it, I can't help it, just the word!"
"Oh, you like the word fart, you little fartknocker?"
"Gahahahahaaah!"
I was an only foal so I never had a little brother or sister but I've always liked making youngsters laugh. It's so easy to do, just find a word or sound or whatever makes them tick and you're set. I often thought about the day I'd have my own and bring Mom and Dad a grandfoal but...well, I often wonder. I mean, who'd wanna have foals with a mare who killed one? Ahh, I digress, there's just something about making a kid laugh. It feels good...warm, I could even say.
"Heh, okay, stop it, you're gonna make me lose my shit here." Clutzy said as he tried to bring his laughter to a halt. "I wanted you to come out today so we could think of a way for you to talk to somepony without them treating you like garbage."
"Well, easier said than done, I think." I replied with a shrug as Clutzy and I trotted past a house. "Everypony knows about what happened and not one of them can see or hear y-"
"Excuse me, young lady!" An older mare on the porch of the nearby house called over as she trotted towards me.
With great anticipation, Clutzy and I waited for this mare to speak again and the look on her face didn't indicate any anger or malice of any kind, she looked more concerned than anything. Finally she stopped right in front of me and took a quick glance over to the left and another to the right before looking me right in the eye. I nervously waited for what she had to say next until finally, she spoke again.
"Um, Creampuff, right?" The mare who I recognized as the village clerk asked me.
"Yes?" I asked, before taking a nervous gulp.
"Who, uh...who were you just talking to?"
"Oh! Uh, I was just...going over a mental checklist of things I need to do today."
I was never any good at coming up with a quick lie on the spot but this time, I got lucky. There were only so many times I could use certain excuses and nopony was guaranteed to even believe any of them. Once I can end this conversation, implying that I actually want to, Clutzy and I will need to discuss something regarding everypony in town seeing me talk to somepony who they can't see. Still though, it looked like this mare might actually be somewhat nice to me.
"So...look, we're all neighbors here." The mare said with a sigh after looking around again. "The accident you were in last year isn't exactly a secret around here."
I began to look down at the ground and fidget with my hooves as it was now and would always be a sore subject.
"Surely, it was just as hard on you as anypony else, right?" The mare continued. "I just thought that somepony should...well, let you know that...if you ever need somepony to talk to, I'm always around."
I truly didn't know what to say. To keep myself from breaking down into a sobbing mess was one of the more difficult things I've had to do. For the first time since I was released from prison, somepony came up to me and showed me not only a half hearted shred of faux kindness but a genuine kind deed. I just stood there completely dumbfounded and judging by the look on this mare's face, she seemed to understand why, as the lashing out I had received from so many others in the community was no secret. I couldn't just stand there and gawk, I had express my gratitude to her somehow.
"I...I..." Were the only words, if you want to call them that, of which I could force from my quivering lips.
"We're all members of this community and we should stick together." The mare said, placing a hoof on my shoulder. "You just go on and keep your chin up, okay?"
"Thank you!" I beamed, unable to stifle the tears streaming down my face. "Thank you so much!"
With a nod and a genuine smile, the mare sent me on my way feeling better than I had in a very long time. As I trotted away down the sidewalk with an equally ecstatic Clutzy floating by my side however, I couldn't help but overhear a new conversation starting up behind us.
"I can't believe you'd associate with the likes of her." Another local mare said to the village clerk, the former's brow furrowed.
"That poor girl has been through enough." The older mare whom was the first member of the community to show me kindness. "Cut her some slack, I just saw her talking to herself like she had somepony right next to her. If ponies keep treating her like garbage, they'll drive her right into the nuthouse."
"I...I had no idea."
I didn't turn around to face them and I pretended that I didn't hear what they were saying but nevertheless, Clutzy and I needed to discuss something once we were in the clear and nopony was around. As I trotted on, I could tell that he knew exactly what the issue was and I'm sure he would agree. Finally, we were in a spot where there wasn't a single pony in sight and just for good measure, I pulled a small notepad that I carry with me and looked down at it as I held it upon my hoof. My idea was to pretend to be reading off a list in case somepony were to see me standing there talking to myself and I assume that he was going along with my idea, the little ghost colt floated down to my eye level.
"I think I speak for the both of us..." I began quietly, Clutzy listening intently. "...that we should probably be more careful. The last thing I need is for ponies to think I'm going nuts and talking to somepony who isn't there."
"You tried to kill yourself last night." Clutzy said flatly with a bemused expression. "You do have some issues, and you know it...buuut, I do agree that we should at least make sure nopony is around or pretend that you're reading something like that before we have a conversation."
"I guess I can't argue with that. Anypony who tries to jump off a building definitely has problems."
"Which is why I'm here. Now come on, let's head into town and enjoy the sunshine."
We did just that. We didn't have anything else we had to do, so we headed to the busier side of town where obviously more ponies would be and much to my worry, a higher chance of being harassed. With my eyes forward, I trotted onwards, I just wanted to see what I've been missing in my town and hopefully find another pony who is willing to talk to me. As I trotted towards the village park, I remembered that the local fire department was still holding a barbeque and raising money for a new fire truck. I still have some bits that I had saved in my room since last year, this would be a perfect chance to give something back to the community.
"Hey, Clutzy?" I asked after a brief glance around to make sure the coast was clear.
"Hm?" He asked, stopping in front of me and floating at eye level.
"So, I was thinking I'd just go over and make a donation to the TFD and see if I can't mingle with the crowd a bit. But I'm a bit nervous. Can I count on you to be by my side?"
"You bet!"
"Awesome! You know, it feels kinda weird going from having tried to commit suicide just last night to all of a sudden having some sort of hope. If more ponies will talk to me, I think I could get my life back on track."
"Uh, Creampuff?"
"You know, there are some bigger things that I've been wanting to do but never felt motivated enou-"
"Ah, ah, ah, abort! Abort!"
"Huh?"
With his eyes wide and his teeth clenched, Clutzy pointed a hoof behind me and when I turned around to see what he was trying to show me, sure enough, we were about to have a problem. I blushed after turning to face a small crowd of about ten ponies that started gathering behind me, their expressions a mix between curiosity and concern. With my muzzle scrunched up and my ears folding back out of embarrassment, I recognized a few of the faces from before. The worst part was that some of the ponies I recognized were high profile names that had a lot of influence in this town.
Standing in the front of the group closest to me was the police chief that arrested me last year though he was not in uniform and appeared to be off duty. Standing right next to him was an older stallion with a well trimmed gray beard, none other than the Mayor of the town. Behind them were some more ponies I knew from passing and even the mare who told me I should kill myself was among them biting her lower lip as her eyes nervously darted about. If word gets around that I keep getting spotted talking to myself, life is about to get a lot more difficult.
Now that we all were aware of each other's presence, Mayor Max and Chief Blue Streak stepped aside from the rest of the group to whisper amongst themselves. The two town officials occasionally glanced back at me in between exchanges and out of instinct, I slowly began to back away as if trying to avoid the inevitable. I'm not gonna lie, to say it was awkward was a grave understatement. Finally, the two authority figures stepped forward towards me, the looks on their faces, nothing like what I've seen before. It was like a combination of concern with a little guilt mixed in, I'm not sure.
"Creampuff, it's been quite a while." The Mayor said, his tone soft and quite friendly. "Are you...adjusting to being back home alright?"
"I, uh...it's been a little rough at first, but I think I'm coming along." I lied through my teeth, my stupid grin a dead giveaway.
"We were just wondering..." The police chief began. "...because we thought we heard you say something about...suicide? Did we hear you right?"
"W-what!? No, of course not! I was just mentioning how...uh, when the county fair goes on, I wanna ride down the super slide!"
The Mayor then turned his head towards the group of concerned townsponies and glared daggers at the guilty looking mare who made the suggestion to me as she backed herself up, her ears folded back and sweat running down her brow. Everypony else in the group was looking at her as well, with expressions of disapproval and disappointment. A couple of the other ponies among them were some of those who shouted at me the other day as well, every one of them with drooping ears and glossy eyes.
"Well, what we're trying to say is..." The police chief spoke up. "...some of us are just a bit...concerned, if you get what I mean. See, a couple of my officers told me that you were trotting around last night, talking to somepony who...wasn't there."
"I told them I was singing!" I snapped before immediately letting out a gasp and covering my mouth. I would never have dreamed of snapping at anypony in town like that, let alone the chief of police. Nevertheless, he seemed more slightly hurt than upset with me for it. Though he was off duty, he was still the sole protector of this town.
"We're just making sure you're going to be okay."
"I'm fine. I-I mean, I really appreciate the concern from all of you but it's not necessary, really."
"We uh, we like to think we're a pretty tight knit community." A stallion within the group spoke up. "If you ever need anypony to talk to, just say the word, okay?"
As thrilled as I was to hear all these ponies trying to help me, I was incredibly uncomfortable with being caught talking to "myself" again and I just wanted to be anywhere but here. I started backing away a little more quickly and it appeared that everypony was taking the hint. I felt terrible for trying to get away from them now that some ponies were finally being kind to me but I was internally panicking. I just wish that they didn't think that there was something wrong with me. No, scratch that. They don't think, they know .
"Thank you all for your concern, everypony." I said sheepishly, still sweating like crazy. "I'll keep that in mind. So um...see you later!"
Oh Celestia, why did I do that? One of the rare occasions somepony is kind to me, and I trot away like that. I might as well have told them to go fuck themselves. Clutzy and I would need to wait until we were trapped in a box or something if we wanted to talk without ponies seeing me. At this point though, the damage is done and at least a dozen ponies have their eyes on me and probably will be keeping them on me from now on. Not only that but word gets around fast in a small town like this so I really have a bad feeling about this.
"Yes, we've been angry with her but I honestly can't believe you'd say something so wicked!" They Mayor said behind me as he scolded who I assume was the mare who told me to off myself. "How would you all feel if she actually went and did it!?"
"Maybe you should actually tell somepony about these problems you've been having." Clutzy suggested as he floated next to me. "I worry that there's only so much I can do to keep you safe from yourself."
"But I don't wanna die anymore..." I mumbled under my breath through my teeth as to avoid more ponies seeing me go insane.
"Okay, well, I'm still not going anywhere until I know for a fact that you'll be alright."
What's wrong with me? I should be tickled pink that ponies actually treat me like an equine being now, why do I feel worse all of a sudden. Ah, probably just the awkward encounter with neighbors back there, that's all. I just need to get something to eat, I haven't eaten yet at all today and it's almost three in the afternoon now.
I trotted to the park the rest of the way and bought an eggplant burger from the fire department and threw a few extra bits in the can they were collecting in. Now that I had some food in my stomach, which Clutzy also enjoyed vicariously, I could think a little more clearly and have my wits about me. As the day went on, I managed to mingle a little bit and chat with a few more ponies. Most of them weren't quite ready to accept me yet but at least none of them treated me like complete garbage.
Now that the day was winding down, and ponies were starting to go home, it was a bit easier for Clutzy and I to talk. On our way back home, he asked me a lot about my prior hopes and aspirations I once had. He really wanted to know about them so I told him that I was supposed to be a vet tech once I got my diploma and license. In Equestria, you can get a license in your field right upon graduation, provided that you achieve highest honors...Like I did.
I asked him a bunch of questions earlier so it was only fair that he got the chance to ask me to his heart's content. At a first glance, it would seem that he's simply asking just to initiate conversation but I think he has a real reason behind it. I think our first priority should be to work on some sort of communication system between us where we can still somehow talk to each other and not leave me looking like a nutjob.
Over all, this day was better than any other I've had in a very long time and if I can keep my head down, I think they can only get better. As I approached the house, I could see that my parents were home and I was really looking forward to seeing them as always. I'll bet they'll be happy to know that today was much better. I know that just me being happy, in turn, makes them happy and vice versa. It's a nice, wonderful cycle.
I can't communicate telepathically, and I don't know anypony who can but Clutzy and I could both just tell that we agreed on one thing as my parents and I sat at the dinner table while he floated around the room. I was to completely ignore him and anything he did or said, several ponies in town think I'm going insane, the last thing I need is to make my parents worry about me even more. Oh, who am I kidding? I just tried to jump off a fucking building last night, of course I'm insane. Though it pained me to chat with my mom and dad knowing that they had no idea what I tried to do, they can't know about it. It would destroy them. There are already plenty of things I'm ashamed of, and now I can add that to the growing list.
Still, I at least proved to be good at not showing that I was hurting over something. I was pretty tired though so I figured I'd turn in early but allow some one on one time for Clutzy and I to chat without anypony seeing me trotting around, babbling to myself. With my door closed and locked, my tv turned on as to drown out at least some of my voice, Clutzy and I finally had a moment to get some things off our chests.
"Your parents are really nice." Clutzy complimented as he flipped through the pages of one of my comic books.
"They're my whole world, little buddy." I replied with a content sigh. "I don't even wanna think of where I'd be without them."
"Mine too. Heh, I'll never forget that time they tried to have "the talk" with me. Turned out, I knew more than they did. Oh mane, the look on their faces!"
"You are one weird little dude, you know that? I don't have to worry about you when I'm sleeping, do I?"
"Hey now, I may be a perv but I'm no sleazeball...wait, what time is it?"
"Uh, quarter to ten now."
"Oh shit! I'm gonna be late!"
Without warning, Clutzy bolted over to my closed window and dashed out without having to open it. I sprang over to see him disappear off in the distance over some of the neighbors' houses. I was confused. What kind of schedule would a ghost need to follow? As far as I know, I'm the only one he can talk to, so he's not likely late for a meeting with somepony else. What could it be?
The only thing I could do now was wait for him to come back so in the meantime, I'm just gonna go get myself a glass of water. I was about to learn more on just how careful I need to be when talking to my new friend however when I opened my door to find my parents with their ears perked up and placed against my door until I opened it. Busted.
"Mom! Dad!" I gasped, not expecting them to be listening in on my what they would perceive to be a one sided conversation. I can't even play dumb, they'll just see right through it. "What um...what's up?"
"Sweetie...who were you just talking to in there?" My Dad asked.
"Huh? You were probably just hearing my tv."
"Baby, we know our own daughter's voice." My Mom countered, knowing that I was lying. "Are you feeling alright?"
"What? Of course I am, guys! I'm doing just fine and I think things can only get better from here!"
They're not buying it and they look genuinely worried. I never had a habit of talking to myself as a foal and now to see me as a grown mare who has been through a lot of shit now talking to somepony who isn't there, I can't blame them for being alarmed. I also can't lie to anypony worth shit let alone to my parents, so I'm pretty much screwed right now.
"Creampuff, you're scaring us." My Dad said, nearly to the verge of tears.
"Talk to us. What's going on?" My mom asked, not faring much better.
"Guys, I..." I began. "You won't believe me. I can't tell you. You just have to trust me."
"What do you mean you can't tell us?" Mom asked. "Sweetie, we're your parents, you can tell us anything!"
"You'll think I'm crazy!"
"Try us." Dad challenged.
They're not budging. I really wish Clutzy was here right now and that they could actually see him. Shit. I have no choice but to put my trust in them and just tell them. They won't let it go until I do. Okay, I'm just gonna go for broke and do it. Best case scenario, they believe me and everything's all hunky dory. Worst case, they think I'm crazy and...well, send me to have my head checked out or something. Here it goes.
"Mom? Dad?" I begin as my parents look me square in the eye with anticipation. "I uh...met somepony I never thought I'd see."
"Okay?" Dad said.
"And I've sort of...made friends with him."
"Go on." Mom said.
"Okay so...Clutzy...that kid I ran over last year..."
"One of his relatives?" Dad asked.
"Clutzy himself. He's been following me around for the past couple days and...he's trying to make me feel better about the whole thing."
"Uhh, I'm not following."
"I can see him and nopony else can. His...spirit. We met the other night and I noticed him. I'm the only one he can talk to so he's trying to help me. I know, it sounds crazy and that's why I didn't want to tell you."
As expected, they looked at me like I had cockatrices crawling out of my nostrils. Oh no, I shouldn't have told them! I have to back track somehow and fix this! Think, Creampuff, think! Oh Celestia in Canterlot, what am I gonna do!?
"It was a dream!" I blurted out. "I mean, that didn't actually happen! Of course I don't think it did!"
After much pretending I had a proper grasp on reality, I think I was able to convince my parents that I was fine...for now. It was getting late, so we all retired to bed for the night...well, my parents did anyway. I just stayed up in my room watching some tv while I waited for Clutzy to come back. Princess Celestia was on tv doing a press conference. And to think I almost got to meet her last year. But I digress. When the hell is Clutzy coming back? He and I need to figure some stuff out.
Author's Note
I've been asked if more dislikes poured in on this story, would I cancel it. I understand that some people have expressed that they hope I do but despite this being one of my not so good stories, I'll continue it for those of you who do enjoy it, and there are plenty of you out there. Celestia bless.
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Chapter 8: Okay, we've got a plan...now what?
I Dodged a bullet there with my parents. At least I hoped so. As I lay wide awake in my bed and waited for my little ghost friend to return, I can't help but let this sinking feeling get to me. Like how much my parents and now even members of the community who hated my guts until recently are now worried sick about me. To make matters worse, I can't lie my way out of it and play it off like nothing's wrong.
Just like it seemed that my anxiety was about to get the better of me, at long last, a little ghost colt popped through my wall right in front of me all of a sudden. Normally, I would have been startled and probably peed myself again but by now, I'd gotten used to him popping in and out like that. Until earlier, he had been staying right by my side to make sure I wasn't going to hurt myself but whatever he had to attend to must have been really important. I was about to find out.
"Dude! What happened!?" I gasped. "Is everything alright? I can't convince my parents that I'm not crazy for the freaking life of me!"
"Uhh, yeah, about that." Clutzy sighed as he floated in front of me and tapped his hooves together. "I'd just remembered that it was my little sister's bedtime and she has a hard time sleeping. So, every night, I fly back home to sing her to sleep."
"Oh...that's...the most beautiful thing I've ever heard..."
I couldn't help but well up after hearing that. His poor little sister who now has to grow up without him...but, in a way kinda...doesn't? I mean, it is reassuring to know that he's still with her just not in the physical sense. At the same time, it left that all too familiar sting brought by the fact that I'm the reason they can't actually see or talk to each other.
"Hey, cheer up." Clutzy said as he gently laid a hoof on my shoulder. "So listen, I have this crazy idea that could really help you get your life back on track and get you up and out of the house."
"Oh? What's that?" I ask, genuinely curious.
"Well...you never got your veterinary license right?"
"Right, because I could never go back to Rockchester College to get my diploma."
"And as a valedictorian, if you go get your diploma, you can..."
"Apply for my...I like the way you think, kid."
He really was onto something. It's true, according to Upstate Manehattan law, a well accomplished student is guaranteed their license to practice upon graduation and receiving their diploma. Graduation was weeks away when I was put away, so they still have my diploma, they're not going to void that because I got in trouble. It's still my diploma, I just have to go and get it. I mean, in the back of my mind, I knew that, but I guess I just sort of gave up on that dream when I was released from prison. Before I met Clutzy's spirit, I just never had the motivation to do it and when I was thinking of ending my life, of course I didn't care about anything else.
Only problem is Rockchester is a good three hour drive away from here and of course my license was yanked and I won't be allowed to get it back for a very long time, if ever. After all they've already done for me, I refuse to ask my parents to take that much time out of their day to drive me all the way down there so after a very quiet chat with Clutzy, we decided we would book a bus.
Unfortunately, it would be a couple of weeks before I could actually go, as I couldn't afford a ticket for a ride right away. The shorter of a notice you give, the more an UltraBus ticket costs and I have no job and very little left of my savings. Not only that, but you have to actually schedule an appointment to go to the college and pick it up, so I don't have a choice either way. My parents and ponies around town are still keeping an eye on me and my talking to somepony who isn't there so in the meantime, Clutzy and I need to come up with some kind of system where we can communicate without everypony thinking I'm crazy.
I ended up booking a cheap bus ride to Rockchester for the week after next, so we have plenty of time to get some things figured out. It wasn't long before we came up with a clever idea. The next day, we went out and I bought a newspaper and from then, we would practice our new method. I trotted down the sidewalk with the paper in my teeth and as per our signal we discussed, I looked to my left where Clutzy was hovering next to me and let out a small sniffle. It was the perfect signal to let Clutzy know that I had something to say as the pollen in the air was thick this time of year. As far as anypony was concerned, I was just simply dealing with allergies like everypony else.
After giving the subtle signal, Clutzy floated right in front of me as I held the newspaper close to my face as to appear as if I were reading it while he stuck his face through it so we could talk. Just for good measure, I'd trot along down the street with the paper in one hoof and Clutzy floating backwards as we chatted amongst ourselves. Occasionally, I take a peek out from the paper both to be able to see where I was going and to see the reactions of ponies I trotted past, or hopefully, their lack thereof.
It seemed to be working. The only reactions I got from ponies passing by where a few nice little "hello"s and some friendly waves. I really hope they aren't starting to show me kindness because they think I'm sick or something, otherwise, the damage has already been done. Who knows? Maybe my newspaper idea will totally backfire. When's the last time you saw a twenty-something reading a newspaper?
Aside from such an oddity, things seemed to be working just fine until we began trotting past the park where foals were running and playing together. It was Sunday, so there was no school and the youngsters were out enjoying it. Clutzy shifted his attention away from me and to the foals running about. Poor kid, probably friends of his who he misses so badly. I paused for a moment and as he floated a few feet from the ground, his expression of mild anxiousness turned into what looked like borderline weeping as his ears drooped and he bit his lower lip.
I stood by his side as to see exactly what or who it was that was making him look so upset and once I traced his longing gaze to a filly about eleven years old holding hooves with a colt about the same age as they trotted side by side. It took me a moment to figure it out, but based on he told me about a girlfriend he had when he was alive, it hit me.
"She's moved on now..." Clutzy sighed as he hung his head.
"Buddy, I...I'm so sorry..." I say as I place a comforting hoof on his shoulder. Remember, I'm actually able to touch him without going through him.
"No it's...it's okay, I didn't want her to be hung up on me for the rest of her life. I'm glad she's happy."
When he's not raiding my panty drawer, he's actually very mature for his age. I have so much respect for this kid, you have no idea. After a moment of gazing over at who was once a filly he loved, he let out a sigh and continued to very slowly float back onto the path he and I were taking. After a few yards in silence, he would soon change his tune.
"You know what this means?" Clutzy asked me.
"What's that, bud?" I asked.
"This means I can go out and stare at other girls! Bwahahahahah!"
"Jeez, I should have known, you little playboy. Heheh, so what now?"
"First off, get your newspaper back up to your face. Ponies are starting to stare again."
"Oh...right."
It was true, I had once again lost track of the fact that I was very openly talking with somepony only I can see and was drawing attention I didn't need. As my eyes darted around nervously, I brought the paper back up to my face to discuss other plans with my ghostly companion.
"So, what should we do today then?" I asked quietly.
"Got yourself a swimsuit?"
"Uhh, yeah. Why?"
"To the beach!"
I'm really glad Clutzy convinced me to go out to the shores of Lake Onterrible as it really is a gorgeous day. The sky is totally cloudless which meant the sun could shine through, unimpeded. The stallions all wearing shorts and the mares in their two piece swimsuits all seemed to be having a great time be it by soaking up Celestia's rays or by cooling off in the lake, everypony seemed to be having a great time. Speaking of swimsuits, judging by the excited look on Clutzy's face as he rubbed his hooves together and ogled all the pretty mares trotting by, it seemed he had his own standards of gorgeous.
"Oh, sweet Celestia in Canterlot..." Clutzy wheezed under his breath. "Look at all these girls!!"
I Couldn't help but chuckle at that, both because of how funny it is to see a little ghost colt ogle over all the mares in swimsuits trotting by, but also the fact that ponies normally go about their day with nothing on at all. Like, we slap on a two piece swimsuit or the stallions put on some swim trunks and we're suddenly more attractive. I never understood that.
Well, it's just about the beginning of summer and the hot sun is actually doing wonders for my mood. I'm kind of torn between what I should be doing right now. Should I lay on the beach chair I brought and soak up some rays, or should I find a spot in the water that isn't completely clogged with blobs of algae or clumps of invasive zebra mussels to cut my hooves on and go for a swim? It was hot enough for me to brave the hazards and take the plunge. Hey, at least it's cleaner than Equestria's most polluted lake, Ondamonia lake in the city of Saltzacuse which is about a forty-five minute drive South on the nearby Interstate Sixty-one.
I'm in an area that is a couple miles outside of Trottski so I don't know everypony here. Ponies come from towns all over the county to swim or sunbathe here, so there's a mixture of ponies I do and don't know. In the past, I would have loved to have found myself in a place where I could see familiar smiling faces and shoot the breeze with my neighbors but those days are dead and gone. Well, I came here to get my mind off of that sore subject, and damn it, I'm gonna do it!
After taking a dip in the water and cooling off for about a half hour, the wind shifted a bit and started to make waves, bringing a giant cloud of that iconic Lake Onterrible algae in closer to the shore and ultimately forcing everypony out of the water for the time being. It's not like the stuff is dangerous or bad for one's health or anything, it's just gross and unpleasant to get on you; and don't even get me started on its smell. See, the invasive zebra clam population has exploded over the past few decades and they filter feed so much that it makes the water too clear. The sun shines all the way down through the overly clear water and causes the algae to bloom out of control. That's been a big problem around here for years.
Now that I'm out of the water, only thing I can do is get as much of this slop off of myself as I can and shake the rest of it off as it dries in the sun. I could really go for an ice cream cone right about now and there's the same stand with the same mare running it in the same spot it's always been in every summer for as long as I can remember. I haven't been here since before college and she deals with probably dozens, if not hundreds of ponies a day so it's understandable that she didn't recognize me.
I didn't feel like sitting still for long so I just trot around the beach past ponies making sand castles, playing volleyball and the like as I work on this ice cream cone I just bought. Just the classic strawberry on a waffle cone. Simple and always a go to favorite for me. As I trot onward, I get the urge to mingle with other ponies like I always have whenever there are others around but then again, it may be too soon. Not only did that stunt I pulled shake the town I called home but just about all of Oswaggo County and most of Upstate Manehattan felt it. I'd be hard pressed to run into somepony who hasn't seen my miserable mugshot on the news. Yes, Manehattan is a state, not just a city.
Gahh, I gotta stop thinking about this! I came here to relax with a friend and destress and I'm ruining it by beating myself up again! Okay, just focus on the beach...the scenery...the big smokestacks at the nuclear plant off in the distance over in Oswaggo. Yeah, there's a power plant right by the lake in the county's seat city, also named Oswaggo and you can see them from here about fifteen miles away. Heh, as a little filly, I thought it was a giant ship that just never moved from that spot. I think I was about ten when I found out that it was actually a facility.
Fond memories seem to help me relax. This is the first time since the accident that I've been able to do so and the fact that I have to force myself to calm down is actually quite alarming as I must be more damaged than I thought. Just think happy thoughts, Creampuff, happy thoughts. Huh, this spot looks familiar. Yeah, during the late summer and early fall when the salmon start running into the rivers, my dad used to take me fishing right here. The only thing we caught was a big, smelly carp. No, for real, that fish released the most foul odor when my dad pulled it out of the water, we couldn't throw it back fast enough.
After a little more distance away from the actual part of the beach where ponies are permitted to swim, I come across fewer and fewer others. This spot is sort of secluded, so teens often come here to indulge in their booze they acquired in secret, among other things. I eventually reach a point where I can't trot any further due to the creek that runs into the lake so I just mosey about while I make my way back to the beach. Luckily for me, I managed to finish my ice cream cone before it melted and ended up all over me.
Back on the beach now, I notice a small group of cute guys around my age staring over at me. This felt very different, I haven't had that happen in a while. I never really considered myself to be a gorgeous mare but after a moment of thought on that, I really don't look half bad in a swimsuit. Oh, sorry, please don't think I'm full of myself, I don't mean to come off as narcissistic. Im anything but.
I haven't dated or even flirted with a guy for almost two years and though it was nice to get a modicum of positive attention, I've simply lost any and all interest in the subject since the accident last year. Well, now that I'm dry, I may as well head to the showers, find Clutzy and head home as it's getting kind of late. Yeah, the lake is so nasty, they have little bath houses on the beach to wash the lake residue off after you've already been in the water. It would soon turn out that I wouldn't have to look very far to find my little spectre friend.
"Bwaaaahahaaaahhh!!"
The sound of multiple mares, maybe half a dozen or so bellowed from the bath house I was trotting up to with intentions of cleaning myself off. No sooner, several frightened looking mares, some still wearing swimsuits, others not, came tumbling out the door and onto each other as they scrambled to exit the small, crowded building. As the group of seemingly confused and horrified ponies began returning to their hooves, none other than my own friendly neighborhood ghost colt blasting out through the wall of the building in a fit of hysterical laughter. It doesn't take a genius to tell that he probably had something to do with this.
"I'm telling you, something's in there and it slapped my ass!" One of the frantic mares screamed, lifeguards inevitably rushing over to see what the fuss was about.
"Mine too!" Squealed another. "I looked behind me and something was actually touching me and I couldn't see it!"
As the mares bickered amongst themselves and tried to explain to nearby beach staff what had just happened, I tried my absolute best to stifle my incoming laughter and trotted past the small crowd to wash myself off in the shower. Before shutting the door behind me, I turned around, gave my little spirit buddy a knowing smirk and pointed to my eyes and then right at him as to tell him that I'd be keeping an eye on him and he'd better not try anything on me. He responded by holding up his right hoof and crossing his heart with his left. Now that's true friendship when you don't even have to say a word to get your point across.
I completely lost track of time while I was scrubbing the algae and probably some carp shit off of myself in the shower house. I took my time drying off as well and to my surprise, I trotted out the door of the shower house to be greeted by Celestia's sun disappearing over the horizon to the West. From my position, the horizon happens to be over the lake and if there's one thing that toxic waste dump of a grand lake is known for, it's the beautiful sunsets. At least it's not as bad as Ondamonia Lake.
"Ready to go?" Clutzy asked me as he floated up to me out of nowhere. I've gotten used to this, so he just plain doesn't startle me anymore.
"Uh huh." I replied with a smile as there was nopony in sight to catch me talking to somepony who isn't there. We began trotting towards the nearest bus stop which was about half a mile away. "So what was that all about?"
"Ohh, you know...just got all excited when I found myself in the shower with all those hot ladies. " He then gave me a sly smirk. "It's not every day when you can sneak into a room full of them without getting caught."
"I thought you couldn't touch anypony and would just go right through them. Since when did that change?"
"Today apparently. You're right, I couldn't before. I mean, I was just in there and I couldn't help but put my hoof on this one girl's butt and found that it wasn't going through...so I gave 'em all a good spanking!"
He and I shared a good, hearty laugh. So much so that I had to shut my mouth and look around again to make sure the coast was clear. To my embarrassment, there was another mare from town trotting towards her car in the parking lot who gave me a perplexed stare at the crazy girl laughing hysterically for no reason. Once again, I had to make some excuse and by now, I'm used to it.
"I'm uhh...talking to somepony on my earpiece!" I called over as I pointed at my empty ear. It's not like she could tell from that distance, right?"
"O-okay." The mare weakly replied, apparently not convinced. I can't seem to go anywhere without being watched.
Shrugging it off, Clutzy and I continued down the paved trail of the park at which the beach was located and made our way towards the main road where we would find the bus stop to head home soon after. The path lead through a state forest so now I know for sure my buddy and I can continue our conversation in peace. After sharing another chuckle amongst ourselves, we trotted onward in silence for a minute or two, which was unusual for the normally talkative ghost colt. I stopped and turned around to face him to see that he was floating there with his back to me and his ears twitching in different direction, appearing to be listening to something very intently. What could have caught his attention.
"Clutzy?" I asked, slightly confused. "Is everything alri-"
"Keep your wits about you." Clutzy said suddenly, cutting me off. "We're being followed."
Author's Note
As a kid, from the shores of Lake Ontario near Pulaski, NY, (on which Trottski is based) I too thought that the Nine Mile Point Nuclear Station was a giant ship with smoke stacks that just never moved from that spot. Weird huh? As you've probably guessed by now, a lot of locations are based off of real places in a place that can't decline because it was never that great...Upstate New York!
Chapter 9: Neighborly Intervention
Clutzy and I have found ourselves in a compromising situation. We're heading down a dark path through a heavily forested part of a state park at night with nothing but the moon illuminating our way when it's not shrouded by clouds. Now that my little spectral spy buddy has pointed it out, I notice a set or maybe even two sets of hooves slowly creeping up on us. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't freaked out by this.
I've mentioned before, I'm of below average size for an adult mare and as such, I'm not very physically strong and even prison couldn't teach me how to fight and hold my own. In a dark forest where nopony can hear me scream, I'm extremely vulnerable to being attacked, and being negatively well known in this area, I'm no stranger to death threats. I can't see who or what is following me but I don't want to stick around to find out. Clutzy won't be able to help me should I be attacked, so we're getting the hell out of here before I get mugged, stabbed, raped, or whatever my stalker or stalkers wanted with me.
I've already been raped while I was in prison...twice. I'd rather die than let it happen again. I felt so low after the fact and I never truly got over it. I don't think I ever will. Well, I'm booking it and not hanging around to let anything happen. The mere thought of being pinned down and taken advantage of again was more than enough to give me an adrenaline kick and trigger my fight or flight response and I dashed away as fast as my legs could carry me away from my stalkers with Clutzy in tow.
Sure enough, in response to my sudden bolting, I could hear two sets of hooves behind me but much to my fortune, I was putting a decent amount of distance between them and myself. As expected, the sets of hooves behind me broke into a full on gallop as I had and as I dashed off towards the main road where there would at least be street lights or possibly somepony driving by who could intervene should something happen. Occasionally, you can find a park police officer sitting around in his or her patrol car but very seldom are they there when you need them. It was so dark but even if I did have it in me to look back at my pursuers, judging by the sounds of their hooves clicking and clacking against the pavement, I could tell that I was failing to put distance between us.
After a minute or so, I've reached the sidewalk on the main road with the nearby bus stop still a few hundred yards away and though the street lamps are lit, I still don't feel inclined to slow down just to see who my stalkers are. I need to focus on giving them the slip. At the bus stop, I at least have a high likelihood of there being other ponies there, hopefully good samaritans who could help should they witness me being attacked.
I'm starting to get tired and I can hear the panting of the two ponies behind me which means that they are now getting closer. As I start to slow down from exhaustion, I can make out that the panting and gasping of the two behind me sound almost...female. Granted I was taken advantage of by females while locked up, one an inmate and the other a guard, I was unsure now a little more unsure of what the two ponies chasing me wanted to do with me, not that it's not still a possibility. It was what happened next that made me really second guess what was really going on.
"Creampuff! *gasp* Wait!" The familiar voice called out behind me causing me to screech to an abrupt halt. Clutzy followed suit and floated there by my side as the two now exhausted ponies slowly approached under the glow of a street lamp. It can't be...could it?"
I was immensely confused to be approached by Crystal and Gem, two mares who were once my closest friends whom had severed ties with me about a month and a half prior. It was like a bullet to my heart when they trotted past me and made it clear that they wanted fuck all to do with me that day. As they tried to catch their breath, they gave me a strange look. It looked to me like the look of sorrow of which I was no stranger to and they were on the verge of tears. I had to get street smart while I was in the joint so I quickly learned how to really read ponies as often my life depended on it. We stood there awkwardly as we faced each other until they finally broke the tense silence.
"Creampuff?" Gem said, her voice quivering. "We...we're so sorry..."
I didn't know what to make of this one. I held nothing against them for abandoning me like that and outright dropping me as their friend. Nonetheless, I wondered if I could trust them. Though I did something I and many others would consider unforgivable, to ditch me without a second thought was the biggest blow to my trust I have ever received and it will most likely never be topped. Could they be planning something against me? Even Clutzy looked on edge and hesitant to believe them. Still, I needed to find out for sure. If they're being genuine, this could really turn my life around.
"F-for what?" I asked, fulling know why they would say that.
"For kicking you while you were down and needed us most." Crystal replied as she hung her head and created a small puddle of tears on the ground. "Creampuff, we've heard horrible things and we're worried about you."
Crystal and Gem took a step towards me and I responded by taking one back. As a response to that , they too took a step back as if to show they had no intentions of harming me. I think this might be the real deal and I might be able to have some of my friends back. My emotions are running wild right now but I need to keep a level head and let logic be my guide here. Clutzy seems to be calming down as he curiously hovers around Crystal and Gem.
"We ditched you when you needed us most..." Gem sobbed as she and Crystal hung their heads in shame. "We're no better than the community made you out to be..."
"Girls, don't..." I began as I too turned on the waterworks and took a couple steps towards them. "I don't want to see you two cry for me..."
Is this the real deal? Am I really about to give my friends back? This just seems to good to be true. I haven't felt such joy since that fateful day. I can't help but clench my teeth as I look at them before throwing myself at them, my arms around their necks and hug them for the first time since the several months before I went to prison. They need say no more, I forgive them without a second thought.
I don't even know how long the three of us just stood there and held each other close and soaked each other with our tears. At this point, I no longer have any doubt in their intentions. They truly felt awful for abandoning me and I quickly put their feelings of guilt to rest. I could never hold it against them as I still to this day felt that I deserved a lot of what was coming to me.
With some convincing, I decided against the bus ride home and wasted no time catching up with my friends and making up for lost time. We were supposed to see a movie together the day I destroyed my community and they didn't need to ask me twice to join them do to what we were supposed to over a year ago. Tonight, the new "Inspector Kinkajou" was playing at the theatre in Aquatown a half hour drive North and I was delighted to join them, Clutzy still by my side and supporting me the whole ride there.
"You're still driving this old bucket?" I asked with a chuckle as my friends and I rode to the mall with Crystal driving, myself in the front passenger seat and Gem in the back. Clutzy was next to Gem, but I was the only one who knew it. Surprisingly, he refrained from trying anything funny.
"Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Crystal replied with a smirk and dismissive wave of her hoof.
"You've been spending more time fixing this clunker than driving it." Gem said from the back seat with a laugh. "This thing's older than all of us put together!"
"It's an '87 model, Gem, learn some math."
We always bickered about this old car Crystal drove whenever we all went somewhere together and the fond memories were coming back. One funny memory I can recall was that occasionally when we go over a bump of a pothole in the road, the glovebox in front of me would pop open and reveal the so called "CCW" Crystal kept in there. She would always blush as she reached over to slam it shut again sending myself, Gem, and this time Clutzy into a fit of laughter. It's pretty easy to get a concealed carry permit around here and Crystal's uncle is a judge in a nearby town, so she was pretty much guaranteed. That revolver she keeps in there is probably worth more than this car.
The four of us really enjoyed the movie for which my friends paid for my ticket as I was just about out of money and afterwards, we all enjoyed a nice casual dinner at the Crapplebees on Arsonist Street, which is the main drag in Aquatown. After that, we enjoyed our ride back down and inevitably, the events that left my life in the state it's found itself in were brought up but I was feeling more up to talking about it at this point.
The girls were dumbfounded when I told them that I ran Clutzy over mere moments before I was to meet them for our trip, just as they were leaving me behind. There were a few minutes of awkward silence between us until Gem and Crystal broke it with the sounds of their sobbing. Crystal even hung her head as she created a puddle of tears on her lap to the point where we were jarred out of the moment by the sound of a car laying on its horn from the lane next to us. Crystal had apparently taken her focus off the road and drifted partway into the other lane nearly sideswiping another driver whom responded by sticking her hoof out the window. Yup, classic Upstate Manehattan greeting.
Once we took the Trottski exit and soon pulled into my parents' driveway, we all excited the car and stood to chat for a little while longer before I went back inside to be with my mom and dad. We shared more laughs and tears together and the girls even told me that they began to blame themselves for what happened after what I had told them which made them feel even worse for ditching me. Well, they weren't the ones who decided to drive past a school bus as a kid hopped off, so I promptly put those worries to rest. Though I hate myself a little less than before, until I'm put in my grave, I must keep in mind that I have nopony to blame but myself. I refuse to try to shift it on somepony else or look for a pity party.
It was getting late and I was getting really tired, so we all had one last group hug while my parents watched from the the front porch as they poked their heads out the door, probably to make sure I wasn't getting picked on. We made plans to see each other again very soon and I could return to my parents with the wonderful news that I had gotten my closest friends back, which Mom and Dad were delighted to hear about. Tonight, I could go to sleep with high hopes for the future as things have been on the uptick lately.
Over the next couple of weeks, I managed to get a lot done and have been mingling with neighbors more. Slowly but surely, local ponies are starting to tolerate me being around a bit more readily than before. Some have even reached out to me as I've made my way around town. Weather it be just to make small talk, just see in general how I was doing, ponies are being much more kind to me as of late. I never held it against any of them for acting hostile towards me before, but that certainly doesn't mean I liked it.
One thing I was glad to have accomplished was to finally get rid of the old Coltzwagen in the garage. I called up a local wrecker to have it towed away for scrap and even managed to get a hundred bits in exchange. It was my first car and I made a lot of great memories with it but it was time to let it go as it was just another reminder of what happened. I made sure to look away as the guy who showed up pulled away with it hooked to his truck by the back bumper as I couldn't stand to look at the obvious dent in the front end. I'm sure it's no mystery how that got there.
Finally the day Clutzy and I would take out bus to Rockchester came and we boarded the bus bright and early in the morning destined for the college I went to as to obtain my diploma and take another step towards getting my life back on track. At this point, Clutzy and I have our little communication system down pat and for good measure, I made sure to buy myself a new newspaper every day to avoid arousing suspicion in others around me with one that has been outdated for several weeks.
When I started actually reading the newspaper to pass the time, I flipped the page over and I couldn't believe what I saw next. It was a picture of a familiar a few familiar faces and much like I once had to do these three mares were posing as they stood against a well marked to show their height. In their hooves they were each holding a small card with the date, time, police agency, and their own names under a headline that read "Guards jailed for inmate abuse: Prison under investigation".
It was the three horrible corrections officers whom I had to deal with while I was locked up, including the one who...violated me, to put it lightly. I know that what I did was understandably hard to forgive not only did they abuse me, I had to witness them beating the shit out of and breaking bones of other mares I was locked up with. To see their mugshots in this paper and to know that they were finally being brought to justice for what they've done to so many ponies was almost enough to make me squeal with joy. I made sure to refrain of course, as to avoid attracting attention and give ponies a reason to think I'm as crazy as they probably already think I am. On the plus side, I don't see a single pony I recognize from Trottski on this bus.
Still can't be too careful though, and our system seemed to work well for us. Clutzy was able to talk normally to me as I was the only one who could see him and I would respond by pointing at letters with a pencil in my mouth to spell out my sentences. If he asked me a question that called for a yes or no answer, I'd simply blink once for yes and twice for no. Everypony around was none the wiser.
The two and a half hour ride dragged by agonizingly slowly and my legs felt like wet noodles from sitting on my ass for so long. Finally, we reached the bus stop near the college where I would then head to the dean's office where my appointment to receive my diploma had been scheduled. It really brought back a lot of memories to have trotted through the halls past all the lecture rooms I used to attend. It was yet another one of the many things that gave me very welcome feelings of warmth and fond nostalgia. I was right on time by the time I had arrived as a familiar face stood waiting for me at our little rendezvous point we had discussed prior.
"Creampuff! So nice to see you again!" The middle aged mare, the college dean beamed as we both rushed towards each other for a nice, warm hug. I was one of her favorite students as a valedictorian and she gives me such a warm welcome back despite that she knows exactly why I was unable to make it to the graduation ceremony. Pretty much the entire state, maybe even all of Equestria knows about it.
"I've missed everypony here so much!" I beamed in response. "After I...ahem, got out, I sort of lost the motivation to get anything done but I made a friend who gave me the kick in the butt I needed, you know?"
"Oh, that's great, hon, I know what happened was very sad, but if ponies would have gotten to know the real you like I did, they'd understand that you're still an amazing pony with a heart of gold..." The dean then reaches for the door handle to her office and slowly starts to push the door open. "...and there's someponies here with me who feel the same way and want to meet you."
I was intrigued by what the dean had just told me and wondered who would be waiting for me in her office. When the door slowly opened and the dean led me in, I was utterly dumbfounded by the sight of a butter yellow coated pegasus and a much taller white coated mare with both a horn and a set of wings standing next to her. I'm speechless, Clutzy and I both were. I was supposed to meet them in person on the day of graduation but I was never able to as I was in the process of being put in prison. Now, over a year later, they dropped everything that they would otherwise be doing to make good on that promise.
"Creampuff Lime, It's so wonderful to finally meet you." The tall alicorn whom was none other than Princess Celestia said warmly as the dean and I trotted in with an equally as surprised Clutzy behind me.
"I hope everything is well with you." The other mare, the very authority of Equestrian veterinary care and element of kindness Doctor Fluttershy said in her trademark soft, sweet tone.
Much to their innocent amusement, was unable to do much more than stand their a gawk. I couldn't believe they were taking time out of their busy schedules just to come and meet me while I was given my diploma and the graduation ceremony I was denied last year. Both Clutzy and I are at a loss for words. It was when the dean then hoofed a cap and gown to me that I turned on the waterworks again.
Princess Celestia was the one to do the honors of personally hoofing my diploma over to me on which she and Doctor Fluttershy had adorned with their signatures. I was even presented with a beautiful custom made golden frame to hang it on my wall with along with a signed letter of recognition written by them personally. This seems to good to be true. I feel like I'm trotting on air just like I did when I had just gotten back to my parents' place at the start of Spring break last year. I truly don't know what to say.
Princess Celestia, Doctor Fluttershy, the dean, and myself later enjoyed a nice lunch together at one of the finer restaurants in the area while Clutzy enjoyed vicariously. We spent a fews hours getting to know each other and Celestia nor Fluttershy were strangers to seeing my mugshot on the news and why I was made to take it to begin with. They were also fully aware of my struggles in the joint once the investigations revealed that the guards of some correctional facilities have been abusing inmates and Celestia had initiated a campaign to crack down on it. Not to mention, solitary confinement has actually been illegal in all of Equestria for decades and she intended on holding prison officials accountable for allowing it to occur.
We all ended up spending nearly four hours together and had an amazing time. I haven't felt this great in well over a year, and much like everything before the accident, everything is on the uptick. I have my little buddy Clutzy to thank for that. Not only did he save my life from my own self, he stayed by my side to help improve my life as a whole. I am forever indebted to him and I'll never forget this.
The ride home went by without a hitch as well, and we managed to completely avoid drawing any unwanted attention while at the same time holding a conversation. Like I said before, you know you have true friendship with somepony when you can carry out a conversation without actually saying a word. On the trot back to my parents' place from the bus stop however, we could take a break from subtle hints like blinking and tapping my hoof on the ground and actually speak as it was getting late and there was nopony around to catch me talking to myself. It was what Clutzy and I saw crowded around my parents' driveway and on the curb around their house that threw us for a loop that neither of us were expecting.
"Were all those cars parked around your parents' house before?" A confused Clutzy asked as he hovered next to as while we stared curiously at several parked cars before us.
"Uh...no, and this doesn't happen often at all." I replied, equally as confused.
There must have been well over a dozen or so cars parked around the house and on the side of the road and I recognized them all as belonging to neighbors, one of them a village police car and one of them even belonging to our mayor. Weird, what's going on here? Well, there was only one way to find out so Clutzy and I made our ways to the front door where he passed through before I opened it and came close behind him.
"Oh, she's here!" One of the many neighbors inside the house said, calling my parents into the room.
The house was absolutely packed to the brim with dozens of local ponies from around town and sure enough the police chief was here and seated at our dining room table next to the mayor with two other local officers I recognized standing next to them. Crystal and Gem were there too. What was even more confusing was that every single pony in the house looked as if they were attending a funeral. Something's not right and I'm about to find out exactly what.
"Creampuff, please have a seat." Mayor Max said in his usual soft tone as he gestured towards a chair pulled out on the opposite side of the table.
"w-what um...what's going on, everypony?" I asked, perplexed as I sat down across from a very sad looking mayor, police chief and my parents who looked more distraught and disheveled than anything.
"Creampuff, your parents and the rest of us are very..." Chief Bluestreak began. ...very concerned about some things that we've seen and heard lately. Your mom and dad have reached out to us to discuss this and see what we can do to help you."
Oh no. All those times I was seen talking to Clutzy and laughing at his jokes have caught up to me and I've just trotted into an intervention! Shit! There's no way I can back pedal at this point and convince anypony that I'm okay! I mean, it's not out of the question for me to be seeing a therapist, I guess. Despite the fact that things have been getting better, it couldn't hurt to see a doctor about the issues I still have. Could it?
"O-okay, what's the problem?" I asked, fully knowing exactly what was wrong.
"W-we were just..." One of the neighbors began with glossy eyes and his lips quivering. "We were all just so angry about the accident that we...we never gave any thought to how you were affected by it."
"We lost sight of the big picture." Another pony from the town interjected. "We wasted so much of our breath trying to tear you down that we never thought about the guilt you had to live with."
"Instead of helping anything, we've turned you into a victim too." Yet another neighbor said as she hung her head and quietly began to sob.
I think I'm understanding what's going on here. At long last, I'm finally about to be accepted by my community once again as they have all opened their hearts and have come back to my side. I truly am at a loss for words. I never held it against any of them for being angry with me but now it looks as if I finally have all of my friends and neighbors back. I was about to get another surprise in the form of a knock at the door that I really didn't see coming and saw two ponies I haven't seen since my town was shattered by me.
"Where is she?" A mare slightly younger than my parents said frantically as she galloped through the front door with a stallion about the same age in tow.
I had to double take and then triple take. I simply couldn't believe who it was who had just come to join the intervention and I was soon taken over by a feeling of lightheadedness and nervousness as they pushed through the sea of ponies and ultimately stood before me.
"Mom! Dad!" Clutzy gasped.
I was sitting before none other than Clutzy's parents who gave me the similar sad look everypony else had on their faces. I was very nervous and my heart began to bleed again as I looked at them...figuratively speaking of course. How could I not feel awkward about this, these are the parents of the innocent ten year old colt whose life I snuffed out last year and we were looking each other square in the eyes. My heart rate quickly picks up as I start to sweat nervously. What do they have to say?
"Creampuff, we're so sorry..." Clutzy's mother sobbed as she wrapped her arms around me much to my shock. "Sweetie, if we knew things were getting this bad, we would have reached out to you sooner!"
"Creampuff, we just..." Clutzy's father began with watery eyes, his voice quivering quite a lot. "We just want you to know that we never hated you!"
"The accident was hard on all of us and you were no exception!"
"If we knew how sick you were getting, we would have said something!"
To say I was speechless would be a massive understatement. Literally, I physically could not move my mouth and my vocal cords to get any words out. Clutzy just floated above his parents with glossy eyes and the look of pride that he so deserves so much to adorne. Never in my life have I been subjected to such genuine kindness and I too had trouble keeping my eyes dry. If I thought things were going to be just fine before, I felt so blessed to be a member of a community who could finally give me the forgiveness I still think I didn't deserve. I was about to find out though that not all was well as it seemed to be.
"Puff Puff, sweetie, we really need to talk about something very serious." My dad said somberly as he too turned on waterworks of his own. "We're just going to come out with it. You've been seen talking to somepony who isn't there by dozens of ponies around town and we haven't forgotten that you told us that you have seen...th-that you have been talking to Clutzy's ghost."
"Mom, Dad, I..." I stammered. "I'm sorry I made you worry, I just..."
"No, no, don't apologize to us, we have every right to worry about you!" My mom loudly interjected as she trotted back over with a piece of paper that appeared to have crumpled up and flattened out again before slapping it down on the table for all to see. "The talking to yourself is the least of our worries because we found this in your room!"
It was a letter previously written by me and it read...
To my beloved parents, friends, neighbors, and members of my community I love so dearly:
Words cannot express how sorry I am for what I did last year and I understand why you all hate me. I have tried to give back to my community in what ways I had the means but I'm so sorry to say that I have nothing left to give and that by sticking around, I will just be a burden to you all. I wish so badly I could bring Clutzy back but I can't. I have decided that the only way I can truly pay my debt to society for what I have done is to end my own life tonight. I plan to climb to the top of the new apartment high rise in Trottski and fall to the parking lot below. I simply can't live with this guilt anymore and this will be for the absolute best as I hope that it will put everypony at ease and bring much needed closure. Just know that no matter what happens, I love each and every one of you so much and that I never held any hard feelings against any of you. Mom, Dad, I'm so sorry for letting you and everypony else down. It is my hope that I may be forgotten about so everypony can move on. Goodbye and Faust bless.
Creampuff Lime
Oh, Faust no, it's my suicide note!!
Author's Note
The cat's outta the bag now. The residents of Trottski are realizing the damage they have done and are about to begin attoning for it.
Chapter 10: The Devil Wears a Lab Coat
I've been caught and figured out and put on the spot as my parents grill me about the suicide note that I thought for sure I had thrown away. The only explanation I can come up with is that I must have missed the trash can after I crumpled it up and it must have rolled out of plain sight. I feel like a complete idiot for being so careless and now even worse for how I just made my parents feel. Now, I have no idea what's going to become of me after this.
Everypony in the house fares no better than my parents as they peak over our shoulders to read the note that sat on the table before us. Save for the quiet sniffling and sobbing of ponies around the house, everything was dead silent. The most audible pony sat on her haunches in the corner as she steadily grew louder and after a moment of putting it together, I identified her as the pegasus who suggested I take my own life. If only I could work up the nerve to tell her that I forgive her...I can't get a word out of my mouth for the life of me.
"Puff Puff...Sweetie..." My dad sobbed, finally breaking the silence. "What in the fuck...are we supposed to do about this? We just found out that our pride and joy was close to jumping off a Faust damn building..."
"We saw her trotting near that building late at night!" One of the officers I recognized gasped as something clicked in his brain while tightly clutched his service cap and began to weep. "If we knew that's what she was trying to do, we would have done something!"
"You actually snuck out and tried to do it?!" My mom gasped in utter horror while my dad began sobbing even harder. "You mean to tell me that you snuck out of the house at night while your father and I were sleeping to try to kill yourself!? Baby, why!?"
I could do nothing but hang my head in utter shame for once again, I have destroyed the ponies I care so much about. At this point, the mare who wronged me before began galloping towards the front door as she continued to weep with her cheeks swelled up, apparently about to get sick. It was when I looked towards the door that had been left open by the mare hastily exiting the building to vomit in private, my attention was brought to a new din in the form of a beeping sound that you would hear from a truck backing up.
Upon further observation, I could indeed see a large, red and white van with flashing blue lights on top which I quickly identified as an ambulance slowly backing up into the driveway. Once parked, the doors to the cab and the back door to the patient compartment opened where two medics trotted towards the front door of the house while the third prepared a gurney with straps on it. That's when it finally hit me and I realized that a brand new crisis had emerged altogether.
"Sweet Luna's moon..." I gasped as my pupils shrank to pin pricks. "Mom!! Dad!! You Didn't!!"
"Puff Puff, we're so sorry!!" My Dad cried out. "We didn't know what else to do!!"
"We're scared, sweetie, we just...we don't..." My Mom began before clamping her eyes shut and clenching her teeth before utterly breaking down. "We don't want to lose our baby!!"
My parents sobbed as every head of every pony in the house was hung and most were creating puddles on the floor as they wept. Gem and Crystal hugged me for a moment as the medics who showed up to take me away entered the room before the police chief gently placed a comforting hoof on my shoulder. After another awkward moment, Chief Bluestreak gently took my hoof as if to signal for me to get up from my seat before being hoofed over to the medics' custody. No, I can't go with them! I mean, I know I have problems but everything was starting to go so well! This will undo all the progress I've made!
"No wait, M-mom, Dad, don't..." I stammered as the Bluestreak and the two paramedics began gently pulling me towards the door. "I-I can't go with them! Guys, I swear, I won't ever hurt myself, please don't let them take me! I don't wanna go!!"
"Wait! She's not crazy!" Clutzy Cried out as he bolted up to random ponies including his parents as he flailed his hooves around in a desperate attempt to grab their attention. "She doesn't need to go to a psych ward! Gahh, why the fuck can't anypony see me!?"
It was no use. Everypony knows that I'm sick and that I'm a danger to myself and need to be under the care of professionals before I do something I and everypony else around me will regret. Who am I trying to kid? I was literally just about to jump off a building just a mere month ago. One doesn't fully recover from that as quickly.
My parents are each holding onto one of my forehooves as I'm being pulled back by the ponies in white coats, trying their best to comfort me before I'm taken away. It was when I looked back at the stretcher they were preparing for me that I started to panic as I'm claustrophobic and I don't do well with being strapped down or held in place.
"Ahh! Wait! Please, don't strap me down on that!" I cry out as I start to struggle, which only caused the medics to tighten their grip on me. "No! Please! Mom! Dad! Don't let them take me!"
Just by saying that, I made my parents sob even harder and it was when the three ponies who showed up to take me away yanked me away and my hooves out of my parents' that they utterly broke down. As I was strapped to the stretcher I watched as my mom, my dad, and everypony who had showed up to show support embrace each other they wept for me, my heart sank to a different kind of low. It wasn't just me who was ailing but once again I had caused pain and heartache for my friends and neighbors much like the year before.
"Anypony!? Hello!?" Clutzy shouted as he desperately continued to search for somepony who might be able to see him. "Oh come the fuck on!!"
It was no use, nopony can see him but for me to try and tell him that would just reinforce everypony's suspicions they had about me all along. I was rolled on into the back of the ambulance and I took one last look at the drama I caused and the faces of my friends as I was clicked into place before the double door was shut before me. I can't count how many times I've seen my dad cry as he was a stallion who was always in touch with his soft side. My Mom was always a little bit harder to move but never before until today have I seen our police chief so much as sniffle. Tears were running down his face full bore as he tired to comfort my parents.
No sooner than Clutzy had floated through the closed door of the ambulance did the driver switch on the vehicle's siren and shift into drive before I was whisked away to a psychiatric facility where I would spend who knows how long. As the vehicle swiftly whipped out of the driveway, I watched as my parents and my friends quickly faded away in the distance I plopped my head back onto the gurney that I was strapped to and began to sob. Clutzy began gently stroking my mane as to try to comfort me. Easier said than done in this situation but his efforts will never go unappreciated.
"You're gonna be okay, Creampuff." Clutzy said softly as he rode alongside me in the ambulance and continued to stroke my mane. "We'll figure this out. We'll find a way to let them know.
I could do nothing but lay on the stretcher as the ambulance made a few swift turns down the streets and the driver suddenly gunned it and from what I saw out the back windows, we were passing cars like they were standing still. From the looks of it, we're heading South on the Interstate. Who knows how far away from home they are taking me?
It's been a really long time since I've felt this low. Once again, I am property of Equestria and the state of Manehattan but instead of an orange prison uniform, I'll probably be sporting a hospital gown or a straight jacket or something. Just when things were going so well, it all came crashing down once again. I have been deemed by my parents, our local police, the mayor and several members of my community to be a danger to myself and now I have been committed to a psychiatric hospital.
After what I estimate to be a forty-five or so minute drive, which was so quiet you could probably hear a goldfish breath, the ambulance exits the interstate into a familiar city which I soon identifies as Saltzicuse. It's a fairly large city of about a hundred and forty thousand ponies. I've mentioned it before, it's located in the center of Ondamonia County and is home to the nasty lake that shares the same name. It's a tough city with a crime rate well above the Equestrian average especially for its size and about once or twice a month, its police department gets sued for beating somepony's ass for littering or jaytrotting.
The medics were no conversation whatsoever and only exchanged a few words between each other on the way there. Not long after we entered Saltzicuse, the ambulance pulled into a parking lot and took the "Ambulances Only" entrance towards what must have been the facility that would now be my home for however long the state deemed necessary. On the side of this huge brick building reads "State of Manehattan Mental Health" so I guess that kind of narrows it down as to where exactly I am.
The whole ride down, in fact even when they were taking me from my parents' place, these guys hardly said two words to me and it was no different as they backed the van up to an entrance, opened the back doors and began to wheel me out. Honestly, I didn't feel much like talking anyway. I just wanted to get in and out as quickly as I could so I could go back home to my parents.
The paramedics who brought me here began chatting amongst themselves as they wheel me in through the front entrance, Clutzy following us the whole way. At the very least, I won't be alone and I have a friend with me. As they wheel me in further, we pass by a desk with two stallions in white lab coats sitting next to each other. One was a sort of heavier set, kind of darker purple guy with a short gray beard and the other was a sort of beige and bit thinner, both of them middle aged. I'd say around their early to mid fifties. I bet I'll be under the care of at least one of these guys. I'm about to find out for sure.
"Here's your latest patient, Doctor Bleeding Heart." The medic wheeling me down the hall said as he stopped in front of the desk. "The one who thinks she's seeing ghosts and tried to off herself."
That got a slight chuckle from the other two medics and the beigh guy at the desk. I'm sure they were chuckling about my seeing a ghost and not my suicide attempt, I don't think anypony could be quite that cruel. The purple doctor however did not appear to be one bit amused and gave them quite the expression that screamed that he was rather miffed by their behavior.
"You think that's funny?" The Purple stallion whom I presume to be Doctor Bleeding Heart retorted angrily. "This poor mare is severely ill and you're making light of it? Shame on all of you!"
Clutzy looked equally as upset with them. It does take me a while to warm up to new ponies ever since this whole mess started but I think I like this purple doctor already and I'm relieved to be under the care of somepony who gives a damn. His expression turned softer when he looked at me as I was still strapped to the gurney but then he tensed up once again and resumed scolding the other staff who had brought me here, whom were all taken aback by being reprimanded like this.
"She looks very uncomfortable!" Doctor Bleeding Heart scolded as a vein on his forehead became quite prominent. "You need to loosen those straps, they're clearly way too tight!" He then turned to the doctor sitting next to him to reiterate his grievances. "I'm telling you right now, Doctor Coal Hammer, our staff needs to start treating our patients with more dignity around here!"
"You really live up to your name, you know that?" The guy I presume to be Doctor Coal Hammer sighed with a chuckle which seemed to only upset Bleeding Heart even further.
"It's called basic equine decency." Bleeding Heart retorted. "You wouldn't know."
"I'll let your insubordinate behavior slide this time, only because we've established that she sees...er, thinks she's seeing ghosts. That's very...interesting."
The three ponies who brought me in then resumed wheeling me down the hallway as they rolled their eyes at what I assume was Doctor Bleeding Heart's dismay. They don't really seem to care and nor does that Coal Hammer guy. In fact, the look he's giving me as I'm wheels away is really discomforting. I don't know how to describe it really. He's tapping his chin with a pencil as he gives me this look that screams of wheels in his head turning. I can't get myself to give him nor the three medics any eye contact but I can see it through my peripheral vision.
As the two doctors bickered amongst themselves, I was wheeled down a few more halls and after another few turns, I was pushed into an elevator and with the door shut, we were raised up to the third floor. After exiting the elevator, they wheel me down another series of corridors past several rooms occupied by various ponies with all kinds of troubles. Some of the locked rooms were quiet while others were anything but. Some ponies just watched nonchalantly as I rolled by while others pounded on the small windows as they screamed incoherently. One of them kept licking the window. These poor ponies are so sick they probably don't even know what got them here.
Upon reading some of the signs as I rolled by, I could tell that we were passing through the ward for the more violent and dangerous patients. They had gold stars on each of their doors similar to the ones I was assigned in prison as a warning to staff how prone a pony was to violence. I was given one star as I was fully cooperative with prison staff so I was at a zero risk. None of these doors have any less than four stars and most have five.
After passing through a set of double doors with a sign that read "Pedofoal ward" we strolled past some of the less "desirable" of ponies. I use quotes because I don't like to label ponies like that. Don't get me wrong, I really...really don't like foal molesters...like at all, and I don't know anypony who does. Though he's a ghost, I can tell that Clutzy is getting chills by just passing through here. Nevertheless, they are all sick and disturbed ponies and most of them probably experienced traumas that drove them to do what they did to end up here. Again, no excuse for what they did, but everypony at least deserves to be treated for a sickness.
Again, some of them just quietly watched us through their windows while others made a fuss and drool over a pretty young mare being wheeled by and I began to blush when I realized that one of them started to...pleasure himself, to put it lightly. Like I've said before, I'm rather short for an adult mare so they may perceive me to look younger than I actually am. Needless to say, that one and others who behaved similarly had between four and five stars on their doors.
Finally, we went through yet another set of double doors labeled "Suicide Risk Ward" which I assumed to be my stop. I assumed correctly as we stopped in front of a door to an unoccupied room which one of the ponies bringing me here stuck a key in the lock and opened it up. At long last, they pushed me into the room and began to undo my straps. At long last, I could get off of this stupid gurney and move around as I wished...to an extent of course.
"Doctor Bleeding Heart will be seeing you for your first therapy session tomorrow." One of the stallions who brought me here said as I was allowed to hop off the gurney. "Dinner will be brought to your room at six."
Without another word, the three ponies accompanying me on my way here rolled the stretcher out of the room, shut and locked the door behind me as I stood in the center of the room to observe my new surroundings while Clutzy did the same. The room I found myself in was...actually not that bad. It was a decent sized room, certainly puts the cell I had while in prison to shame. It had an actual bed rather than a rickety cot and upon further observation, the mattress was some sort of memory foam.
As I continued to look around, I noticed that the legs of the bed were wrapped in a thick layer of foam, I assume to keep patients from banging their heads on it. It seemed that every otherwise hard surface in the room was covered in this safety foam, even the floor underneath the carpet seemed to be quite spongey. There's even a small end table with a TV in the corner opposite of the bed. As I looked closer at the TV, I noticed that it was bolted down to the little table and the table to the floor. It looks like every piece of furniture in here bolted down to ensure safety.
Next to the bed is a bookcase full of all sorts of things I can read to pass the time. There are some of the standard things like magazines ranging from sports and hobbies all the way to health and fashion. They even have some books on pet care and marine biology. That's right up my alley, I'll have to take a look at these later. Oh, they even have comic books! Nice! Huh, that's unusual, there's even a small bathroom off to the side with a sink, a toilet, and a small shower. I never had such a luxury when I was in prison. Just by glancing at the mirror, I could tell that it was made of some sort of reflective, flexible plastic. Understandable, we don't need somepony breaking glass and acquiring a weapon now do we? I wonder why they had regular glass in the pen.
This was all a reminder that I was not here to be punished but instead to be provided with the help I need. It did help to put me at some modicum of ease. I was here because ponies care about me, not because they are angry with me. I admit it, I really do have some rather serious issues and coming to terms with that in itself is progress. It's true, just over a month ago, I was less than an inch from committing suicide, just because I don't feel like killing myself right this very moment doesn't mean that I'm well. Okay, maybe this is all for the best. Maybe this won't be so bad.
At six o'clock on the dot, I was brought a tray of dinner which included an apple, a yogurt, a little carton of orange juice, a daisy and cucumber sandwich, and a cornbread muffin. I confess, I'm a sucker for cornbread but the stuff my dad makes blows this away. What can I say, my dad has Southern Equestrian heritage. Which reminds me of something else. My poor mom and dad. I wonder how they're doing right now.
Do I blame my parents for having me sent here? No, not one bit. My parents are not trained nor equipped to help me. They are scared out of their wits, they are desperate and had no other options. They called those ponies to come and collect me because they knew that I would be taken to a place where I would get professional help and be kept safe. They had me brought here because they love me and want me to get well. I'd be nothing without them and I love them with every fiber of my being.
The lights were out for the night which ideally should mean that most of the staff save for the night security should have all gone home by now. That meant that Clutzy and I could finally talk more. He and I talked of my troubles and what led me to want to take my own life to begin with. No, I don't hold it on that neighbor who made the suggestion. She as well as everypony in town were angry with me and as a grown mare, I'm responsible for my own actions, and she obviously felt horrible afterwards so i forgive her.
After a while, Clutzy and I watched TV for a little while and read some comic books until it got to be around eleven at night. Needless to say, I was getting very tired after this incredibly long day so I lay myself down on the bed and bid my little spectre buddy good night.
"Good night, Clutzy." I said with a yawn. "I think things can only get better from here on out. My therapy starts tomorrow."
"Good night, Puff Puff." Clutzy said softly as he picked up the blanket and dropped it over me. "I'm gonna go scope the place out and make sure everything's kosher. Heheh, maybe I can swipe one of those security guys' hats. Hahaha, maybe then they'll know that I'm actually here and you're not just seeing shit!"
"Heheh, we can only hope. Have fun out there."
Celestia's sun poked up over the horizon like it does every morning which revealed to me that I was fortunate to have a window to the outside. The clock bolted to the wall says that it's about half past eight I can honestly say that I slept really well. Clutzy was floating around the room as always when I woke up and soon after, breakfast showed up. A steaming bowl of oatmeal, a cup of applesauce, a little carton of juice, some baked beans and a hoof full of strawberries. Nice. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not a picky eater at all. Even before I was locked up, no matter how cheap or basic food was, I was always glad to have it. Some creatures around the world don't even know where their next meal is coming from.
At around ten o'clock, a hospital staff member came to collect my tray and informed me that Doctor Bleeding Heart would have me sent to his office so we could formally meet and discuss my issues and how we would go about treating them. He seemed very nice. I mean, I know the only time I've seen him, he was rather upset and short with some of the staff but it's because he didn't like how they were essentially making light of my problems. He seems to genuinely care about his patients.
Sure enough, eleven o'clock rolled around and two security guards and a nurse unlocked my door take me to see the doctor who was assigned to my case. With a guard to each side of me and the nurse in front of me, they escorted me to the elevator and ultimately down to the second floor. As always, Clutzy followed us every step of the way. After a short trot and a few turns down the halls, we ended up before a door adorned with a placard that read "Doctor Bleeding Heart". The nurse then gave the door a knock and within seconds, a familiar purple head poked out.
"Your patient is ready, doctor." The nurse said before she and the two guards began trotting away to resume their other duties.
"Yes, Creampuff Lime is it?" Doctor Bleeding heart greeted with a smile as he extended a hoof for a shake to which I obliged. "Please, come in, make yourself comfortable."
I was a little bit shy at first like I always have been but I was put at ease as soon as I trotted through the door. His office was set up in a way that you could tell that a therapist who genuinely enjoys his work practices here. There was the standard office desk on the far corner of the room and in the center there were two bean bag chairs to sit on. In one corner was a small table with a smoldering incense burner which was very soothing to say the least. There was even an electric tea kettle on another table next to an office water cooler. All over the walls were various framed diplomas and certificates from very prestigious universities. This guy is the real deal.
"Creampuff, it's so nice to formally meet you in a more comfortable setting." Bleeding Heart said as he shuffled through a folder which I assumed was my case.
"Likewise." I replied, feeling much more at ease than I was a moment ago.
"I hope the staff was good to you after I had words with them. Care for a cup of green tea?"
"Oh, I'd love some. Thanks."
Doctor Bleeding Heart is a unicorn and he used his pink aura to levitate the kettle from where he sat before me and poured two cups of tea. He first levitated a cup to me and then one to himself. He took a sip as we sat across from each other but it was a bit too hot for me to sip from just yet so I will wait until it cools a bit.
"So Creampuff, I've been going through your case and I've learned quite a bit about what's troubling you." Bleeding Heart said softly as he sat across from me. "But one can only learn so much from reading somepony's files. Please, tell me about yourself."
"Well...um, gee where do I start?" I asked with a chuckle.
"How about the accident last year? That's where this all stems from, no?"
"Right. Well, It was spring break when I was going to RIT. I was supposed to hang out with some friends after luch with my parents. Schools were letting out for the day and there were buses everywhere. I was getting held up every time I had to stop for one."
"Uh huh."
Doctor Bleeding heart started taking notes on a clipboard.
"So I almost made it to where I was supposed to meet my friends and there was a bus stopping just ahead of me that I thought I could pass before Clutzy hopped off."
"Is Clutzy that little colt who died that day?"
"...Yes."
"And how did you feel after it happened?"
Words couldn't accurately describe how I felt when I learned that I had killed that ten year old colt and upon being asked to describe it, I really had to think for a minute or two. As I pondered my response, Bleeding Heart took another few sips of his tea as he patiently waited for me to answer his question. I really don't know how I can describe it but damn it, I'll try.
"I felt so..." I began as I eyes started to water. "...horrible. I felt like a scumbag for what I did and what it resulted in."
"You felt remorse." Bleeding Heart replied. "Regret perhaps? Does that sound right?"
"Yeah...I let my own selfish need to get where I was going that I ended up killing a young kid."
"I don't think you were being selfish as much as I think you were simply not being cautious enough while driving. It's a mistake. We all make them. Some bigger than others but what really determines the type of pony you are is how you atone for it. What happened after all that? You served time, correct?"
"I did. I got a year in the state pen."
"What happened while you were there?"
This would be hard to answer, not because I don't remember but because it'll be hard for me to talk about. It was honestly, the hardest year of my life but I felt that I deserved every second of it. Once again, I'll try to explain it the best I can.
"I-I...got my ass kicked at least twice a week." I replied as a lone tear began to roll down my face, to which Bleeding Heart responded by levitating a box of tissues over to me. "I also got...*sniff* I also got...raped a couple times when I was there."
"I'm so sorry." Bleeding Heart said softly. "Nopony deserves that. It doesn't matter what you did, nopony ever deserves to be sexually violated. Was it staff or an inmate?"
"It was both. the first time it was an inmate and the second time a guard."
"Did you report it?"
"N-no, I never did but...I recently found out that they got charged with abuse the other day."
"Oh, I read about that in the paper. It must have been them then?"
"Yeah, those are the ones."
"Tell me why you never told anypony about your problems? That could have ended very badly for you and those who care about you."
Oh, I know this one. I've always been this way. I really don't like bothering others with my own problems.
"I just..." I began. "I felt that after what I did, it would just piss off everypony around me even more to go asking for help."
"See, that's why I don't think you're a bad pony at all." Bleeding Heart replied as he continued to take notes. "Not by a long shot. You're anything but selfish and you think about others to a point where you neglect your own needs. Let me ask you, did you ever watch Mr. Dodger's Community as a foal?"
"Aw, I used to love that show! I learned so much from Mr. Dodger. He was Equestria's grandpa who you could visit after school and talk about feelings with. I cried for days when I found out he passed away."
"I grew up watching him too when I was a little colt back in the seventies. He's who inspired me to take up this line of work. Now, there's this one quote from him in particular that spoke to me and I think that everypony should always bear in mind."
"Which one was that?"
"He said 'sometimes in life we find ourselves in situations where we need to ask others for help...and that's okay.' You shouldn't ever feel ashamed for asking for help."
He really had me there. I was one of Mr. Dodger's most famous quotes and I completely forgot about it in my adulthood. Okay, so he has brought up my depression and my problem with trying too hard to please others. Only a few others I can think of that he has yet to mention.
"So, let's address the most severe problem we have here, Creampuff." Doctor Bleeding Heart suggested as his previous advice really had me thinking. "Why did you want to take your own life? Your parents and neighbors reached out to us and they were so horrified and frightened when they found out what you tried to do."
"It got to a point where I felt that I just wasn't wanted around anymore." I replied as I continued to dry my tears with a tissue. "After I was released from prison, not a single pony in my hometown wanted to be within a mile of me. I just...I wanted so badly to pay my debt for my mistake and devote my time to giving back to the community but...nopony would give me a chance. I started thinking that the only way to give closure and a sense of justice to everypony who loved Clutzy...was for me to die."
"I um..." Doctor Bleeding Heart started to turn on waterworks of his own. "That's really sad, dear. At first, your neighbors were understandably upset and I daresay outraged by what happened but...that's just so cruel. Nopony ever deserves to be made to feel that ending their life is the only way to fix things. You're certainly not the only one who made a mistake and when the members of your community realized it, they had hurt you so badly and the damage had already been done. You didn't deserve that."
I never really gave that any thought. For the longest time, I felt that I was the last pony who deserved a break. I mean, Clutzy has been trying to convince me of that for a while too but to have a professional therapist tell me that...it just really got me thinking about it more. We all knew from the very beginning that it was an accident and that I'm not vile enough to do something so wicked on purpose. Even Clutzy, the victim of all ponies understood that. Hell, even his own parents didn't hate me. My head is starting to ache with all these thoughts rushing through.
"While you're tossing that around, let's talk about another issue we have here." Doctor Bleeding Heart continued. "You've been observed talking to somepony who isn't actually there. I'd like to know more about that."
"I've been seeing Clutzy. That colt I hit last year." I said as I started to sweat and avoid eye contact with my care provider. This will be difficult to discuss but I trust Doctor Bleeding Heart so I'll be honest and tell him everything that's been troubling me. "That night when I was just about to jump off that apartment high rise, he...showed up and stopped me from doing it."
"But he passed away. He's no longer around. He's not actually there."
Without turning my head, I turned my gaze towards my ghostly little friend who twiddled his forehooves together as he stared at the ground he floated above. Doctor Bleeding Heart was taking more notes and as he continued to write down details of our conversation, Clutzy looked back over at me and with quivering lips, floated backwards and disappeared through the wall behind him. What is he doing that for.
"I've seen this before." Bleeding Heart said as he looked up from his clipboard and back to me. "I've treated many patients whose actions resulted in somepony's death, whether intentional or otherwise. Most of them genuinely feel remorseful. Others, not so much. Some were too sick to even understand what they even did or why it resulted in them being brought here. See, my point is that many of my patients who truly regretted their actions reported having seen and spoken to the deceased victim. The guilt becomes so overwhelming that the pony becomes desperate for some sort of comfort in the situation as they failed to find it elsewhere."
Clutzy occasionally poked his head out from the wall to check up on us while Bleeding Heart and I talked. I don't know what to make of this one. I know I'm the only pony who can see Clutzy and Bleeding Heart is genuinely trying to help but I know I've been seeing him. We're able to hug and bump hooves and he even picked me up when I had fallen off the edge of the building. Is Clutzy thinking of leaving my sight as to aid in my recovery? I'd never ask such a good friend to do that.
"Creampuff..." Doctor Bleeding Heart said softly as he looked me square in the eye. "...you need to forgive yourself. Can you do that? If not for yourself, for your parents and your friends."
"I...I..." I stammered as more tears began rushing down my face which Bleeding Heart promptly began wiping away with a tissue held by his unicorn aura. "I can...I will..."
"Mind speaking up, dear? Didn't quite get that."
"I can and I will." I spoke more firmly with a little more volume.
"You can and will what?"
"I can and will forgive myself."
"I'd like to see more enthusiasm."
"I forgive myself."
"Can't hear you, dear."
"I forgive myself!"
"I'm not convinced."
"I...I forgive myself!!"
"Say that again!"
I then leapt up from the nice cushy bean bag chair on which I sat and poured my heart and soul into my next self empowering outburst.
"I FORGIVE MYSELF!!"
Doctor Bleeding Heart followed suit and he too leapt from his seated position and proceeded to egg me on even further.
"Bull! You didn't convince me!"
"I FORGIVE MYSELF!!!"
"Will you two shut the fuck up in here!?" A colder more bitter voice snapped as the door to Doctor Bleeding Heart's office suddenly swung open.
My doctor and I were suddenly snapped out of our moment by a familiar beige stallion in a white lab coat standing at the doorway as he held a folder of some sort in his wing. Now that he wasn't sitting behind a desk, I observed that he was a pegasus and a really rude one at that. Okay, I mean, yeah we were getting a bit loud in here but surely something good will come of us. It was quite evident however, that Doctor Bleeding Heart was rather miffed as we were interrupted while making an important breakthrough.
"Doctor Coal Hammer, seriously?" Doctor Bleeding heart sighed as he face hoofed. "Creampuff and I were just in the middle of-"
"Well, that's just too damn bad." Doctor Coal Hammer cut off. "You and I need to have a word. Now!"
"Excuse me, for a moment, dear." Bleeding Heart said to me with an apologetic look.
The two doctors the trotted just outside the room and closed the door. Though it was shut, it apparently must be paper thin because I can very clearly hear every word they are saying and out of concern, Clutzy even swooped back into the room and poked his head through the door to have a listen.
'What!? You can't be serious!" Bleeding Heart gasped out of frustration. "You can't just swap our cases like this!"
"It's already been done, so tough shit!" Coal Hammer retorted.
"But we were in the middle of a breakthrough! We were making great progress already and starting all over again will just undo our work! We've built such a great rapport and I've earned her trust!"
"Are you forgetting whose in charge around here? I won't hesitate to make you go back in there and clear out your desk!"
"I...sir, I just want you to be more considerate of what's best for our patients. You're not exactly empathetic with ponies who need you to be."
"I am, and as director here, I've made a determination and a decision on our next course of action. That and you know I don't deal with pedofoals, so have fun with this fucking sicko. Here's his file."
"Sir, I don't mean to pry but maybe you and I should have a session of our own. Did something traumatic ever happen to you as a fo-"
"Ask me that one more faust damn time!! I dare you! I double dare you, motherfucker!"
I've never heard doctors, especially psychiatric specialists get into such a heated argument. Clutzy and I could tell that each other were almost worried that their confrontation would turn physical. For almost a minute, there was silence save for the heavy breathing from Coal Hammer whom has gotten way too worked up for my comfort, and now he was about to replace Bleeding Heart as my doctor? I really don't want to be around this guy.
"You'd better be good to her..." Bleeding Heart said quietly but firmly.
"Or what!?" Coal Hammer retorted. "That a threat!?"
"Not at all. It's a warning. I'm just saying...you had better...be...good to her. She's been through more than enough shit. And If I ever find out that you mistreat her or any of our other patients...I will report you to Celestia's anti corruption bureau."
With that, I could make out the hoofsteps of somepony whom I assumed to be Bleeding Heart angrily trotting away. While we had a moment to ourselves, Clutzy and I whispered amongst ourselves and voiced some serious concerns. The stallion who had helped me reach such a breakthrough in one session was now out of the picture and I had to start all over again with this other guy who just seemed so cold. I anxiously awaited our impending conversation as he reentered the room and plopped himself down on the chair that sat before Bleeding Heart's desk and wheeled on over to me with one of the creepiest grins I've ever bore witness too. I'm scared.
"Creampuff is it?" Coal Hammer asked as he flipped through my file. "You know, when I heard of a new patient coming in who claims to have seen a ghost, I just knew I had to be the one getting in on this."
"That so?" I asked with a nervous gulp.
"This guy...he's trouble..." Clutzy said as he leered at my new doctor.
"You bet!" Coal Hammer replied. "And I believe you."
"Erm...come again?" I asked, thinking for a moment that I misheard him.
"I said I believe that you're seeing a ghost. Heheh, I've been trying to prove their existence for decades and slowly but surely, I've been making some pretty interesting discoveries. See, not only am I a stallion of medicine, more importantly, I'm a stallion of science."
"A mad stallion of science maybe?"
"Ha! Good one! Well look, let's just cut to the chase here. I've been in search of some...test subjects to aid me in my research, if you catch my drift. How would you like to help ponykind better understand the supernatural and paranormal? You'll be like...my own little assistant in my lab. Sound fun?"
No fucking way am I letting this guy perform experiments on me or whatever the fuck he's planning! I want Doctor Bleeding Heart back! Clutzy is equally as concerned and has appeared to have decided against leaving my side as I honestly feel like I might actually be in danger. I'm shutting this guy down before he gets any idea that I'm okay with any of this.
"I really don't feel comfortable with being somepony's guinea pig in some whacky experiment, thanks." I said firmly and proudly.
"Hmm? Oh, you thought..." Coal Hammer began before breaking out into laughter. "Oh ho ho hahhahahh, you...Oh shit that's a good one."
"What's so funny!?" I retorted angrily.
"Oh, you misunderstand me, dear. See, I never planned on giving you a choice in that matter."
