Zipporwhill and the CMC go on a little cruise and end up stranded on a small deserted island. With few sources of food, it's a good thing a magic meteor granted Zipporwhill's plot some very useful abilities. The CMC would almost rather starve, though...

Written as the logical extreme result of asking what use tentacles could be if not for sexual, combined with toilet humor of the highest order.
Warning: This will be squicky to most, it involves buttentacles and bodily fluids...unusually edible bodily fluids.

Note on the rating: If you're looking for clop, you'll be a little disappointed unless you have much heavier and more sensitive fetishes than me, as the closest this ever gets to sex is some brief implications.