Chapters Saturday 1: What Is This, A Vaudeville Act? Saturday 2: Less Than Enough is Sometimes Still Too Much Saturday 3: Something Killed the Radio Star But I'm Lost As To What Saturday 4: A Penny Saved Is Worth Two In The Bush Sunday 2: When A Return To Form Doesn't Properly Function Sunday 3: Where Things Get Complicated, Implying They Weren't Before Sunday 4: Given A Level Backstory And A Place To Rest It Sunday 5: It Finally Catches Up With Me How Dumb This Premise Is Sunday 6: In Which The Author Tries Desperately To Cover Up Plot Holes But Only Adds More Monday 2: That's Besides The Plot Point Monday 3: The More You Know: Plot Holes Are Actually A Real Canon Explanation Monday 4: The Word Plot Keeps Cropping Up Recently But I Don't Think Intentionally Monday 5: What The Heck Is Clear Sight Up To, I Mean He Obviously Has Ulterior Purposes For Everything Monday 6: Adding A Few More Dimensions To The Story, Both Literally And Metaphorically Tuesday 2: Take A Step Back, Georges Seurat Tuesday 3: A Break In The Loop, No Not That One, The Other One Tuesday 4: Come Rain, Come Sleet, Come Banks Of Snow, The Mail Service Is Sure To Go Tuesday 5: This Should Actually Be Last Chapter's Title, It's Difficult When You Make The Name First Tuesday 6: Nevermind, None Of Them Should Have Had Tuesday 4's Title, Sorry For The Confusion Saturday 5: Don't Panic Saturday 6: When In Rome, Do As The Roman Tourists Do And Finally Get Some Good Italian Food Fourth Wall Bulletin Board One: Frank Expostulation From The Author Applicable Literature & Psychiatric Help Agency
Saturday 1: What Is This, A Vaudeville Act?
"Hey Res!"
"Yeah, what is it?"
"Can you do me a favor?"
"Uh-huh, sure thing...uhh, what is it?"
"This customer wants some exposition, I thought you'd be a bit better at it than me. What do you say?"
"Heh, really? That's the first time someone asked us that."
"I know, right?"
"Yeah exactly. I'll be over in a minute."
"Cool, thanks for helping me out, bud."
"No problem, I mean, this is almost exactly what I do for my job anyway."
"Great! Bye Res!"
"Bye Clear Sight."
*click*
Res set down the phone. What a wonderful invention, he thought, just what the ponies of Equestria needed. Of course, it put some mail-carrying pegasi out of business, but few enough not to be a problem. Mail still holds that...that intimate, almost sacred feel, like when you tear open an envelope or break a wax seal...no, mail will be unaffected.
Picking up the phone again, his mind wandered. But this phone... every self-respecting unicorn knows a good voice amplification spell, and some even to the extreme...but who would have thought to take an amplification spell and pinpoint it like a laser through wires and over long distances, achieving the effect of talking to a faraway pony as if in the same room? Heh, that's Clear Sight for you. Next comes wireless...hmmm.
A few moments passed, and Res finally snapped back into focus. Well, I'm getting off track. I've got a commission to do, and I already said I'd be there in a few minutes. Rising from his chair, he strode briskly across the room and left, leaving the phone dangling off the hook behind him.
--<>-------Meanwhile, in the Psychiatry Help Agency wing,-------<>--/
Clear Sight was, surprisingly, having a bad day. His customer, an obnoxious tan mare with a pale green mane and an obnoxiously accented voice, had been getting on his nerves for the entire afternoon. Why can't she just be satisfied and leave me the hell alone? crossed his mind for the hundredth time. Why'd she have to bring her whole radio studio with her, anyway? I always told Res that there's just no reasoning with the paparazzi, and this just proves my point--yet again.
"I'm sorry," he spoke consolingly in a tone dripping with antipathy, "but the story really isn't the same without both of us here, okay?"
"Nonsense," replied the mare with a scoff, "I'm sure you'll find a way to recall all the details without him. Besides, you might feel like loosening up when you hear the rumors," she leaned in conspiratorially, "that you are the one running the whole organization from behind, pulling the strings as a front..."
She paused. "For a kingdom-wide criminal extortion organization!"
"Yeah, now I know you're kidding me, because you know just as well as I do that no life-loving pony would ever say that in front of a real-life Mareiarty. If you'll wait just a minute," he gestured towards a chair for the scowling journalist and her recording crew, "you can over-analyse and misinterpret my words while sitting down, of course, but when Res gets here, we'll get into the good stuff." He muttered something about concrete shoes, and walked over to the window.
The now seated journalist scratched neurotically with a quill on her notepad before finally looking up and studying Clear Sight's face for a while, trying to get a good angle for her camera. His trademark sunglasses were perched on his muzzle, hmmm..."forever hiding the eyes which peer ever onward into the future of technology--" I'll have to remember that, she thought, scrawling a note on her pad.
Metaphorically, of course. Whether his foresight holds in the real sense as well...some of his exploits defy all logic and required too much luck to pull off... No matter what angle you look at it, something just seems off. She rubbed her temple. Ugh, I hate migraines. ...something less than savory and more than underhanded is going on here, especially recently...and I'm going to get to the bottom of this if it breaks my soul.
Clear Sight turned his head in her direction, fixing her with what she only could assume was a glacial stare-- those sunglasses are a good tactic, makes his expressions unreadable -- and muttered something about...some...antics? before directing his attention back to the window.
A polite, metered knock came from the door, and soon a grey unicorn entered the room.
The journalist's heart skipped a beat.
Of course, she had seen Resolve Spirit in magazines, photographs, from far away during social events, but in person? He held a...a sort of presence that just made her feel faint...she could practically see the rose-colored tint in the corners of her vision. A mane as grey as a charcoal fire cascaded like torrents around his horn and down his head, reminiscent of some old foreign cartoons she had read once, perfectly framing his piercing deep sapphire eyes and complimenting his more light, ashen coat. Wearing a snappy yet simple dark teal suit, he was in every way the perfect eligible bachelor.
And he was staring at her.
Too late, she realized the reason for his expression, and closed her mouth, looking away.
"Hey Res, on second thought, I'm having second thoughts on this," Clear Sight groaned, but was interrupted by the journalist: "Alright, now that you're both here," she said, checking her notes and motioning to the microphone handler, "I'd like to have a personal discussion about new developments in your company, and perhaps glean some information that could shed some light on the subject of your interests, goals, et cetera. Any objections?"
Clear Sight looked irritable, and was about to speak to his colleague when Res interjected with a flat "Not that I can see, I mean, we've kept pretty in the dark for a while now, and the public deserves to know." He exchanged a meaningful glance with Clear Sight, who gave a small smile and nodded, tapping his temple.
"But first, what's your name?" Res asked. "I don't think I caught it."
"Illesio," the journalist replied dreamily--he just asked me my name...
She cleared her throat, noticing the aside glance the two business owners gave each other. "Alright, let's keep this simple then. First question: What reason is there in the re-branding of your company's trademark phrases?"
"Oh that? That's easy," Res responded. "We thought the company was becoming too commercialized, and although the whole point of the ALPHA was to bring technology, medical assistance, and knowledge to all ponies all over Equestria, commercializing forms of charity seemed a little disingenuous. That's why we changed our phrase from 'Bringing the Horizon a Step Closer' to 'Bringing Harmony a Step Closer.'"
That seemed harmless enough.
"Why, as of recent events, has the company's choice in commissions been reevaluated?"
"For the same reason, of course. We now exclusively focus on inventions and works for the benefit of the greater public, instead of some jobs we had taken on in the past for the sole use of wealthy investors. That particular choice was a little tricky, as we risked angering those same investors that supply us with funding, but to be completely honest, we could do the same job we do now with half the money."
"That leads us into my next question. Does your company still place a great emphasis on humanitarian works?"
"Absolutely. All profits go to charities, such as the Equestrian Red Sun, the Whooves Disability Awareness Foundation, and the Foundation for the Limitation of Undeserved Terror To Animals, and we keep a public tab on all transactions that can be viewed in both the Canterlot and Crystal Empire Business Centers and the town halls for every major city and town nationwide. We are proud to be a source of help for these charities."
"Great! These answers are satisfactory, but now we come to the real reason behind my visit. For years, the entire nation has been clamoring over what the past of this company has been, and the accounts given contradict each other almost completely. I was hoping you could, for the benefit of the public, reveal the truth of the matter?"
There was a long pause, and finally Res sighed. "Well, yes," he said. "Our past has been hidden for far too long, and I fear if we cover it up any longer, we'll pay for it dearly. One last thing," he asked, "We're on air, right?"
"Yes, we are," Illesio replied, gesturing to the radio pony staff behind her, who all nodded.
"Perfect," said Res. "This needs to be raw and unedited. Straight from the horse's mouth, as it were. Will you start us off, Clear Sight?"
"I called you over to tell the story, but yeah, sure man," Clear Sight grinned, sitting down and rubbing his hooves together. "The story of the ALPHA begins back in the year of 20XX, when Mr. Magic Man over here was still in school and I was a lonesome drifter dropout. This is a story about the power of friendship, ingenuity, and an impeccably tailored series of coats. Now, everyone knows us as these real famous ponies, but we weren't always this way. At one point in my career..."
Illesio settled back into her chair and listened intently.
This is going to be good. she thought.
--<>-------Holy actual hecking crap, what's going on here-------<>--/
Author's Note
hopefully i have a decent few OCs, what the hell
Total time spent on this chapter: 3 hrs 45 minutes
Cheers and go hecc yourselves,
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Saturday 2: Less Than Enough is Sometimes Still Too Much
"Now, everyone knows us as these real famous ponies, but we weren't always this way."
Clear Sight continued his monologue.
"At one point in my career," he scratched his chin, "or at least if you hazard to call it that, I was a low-life criminal. I unfortunately must admit that I used my intelligence for petty theft and black market schemes. But," he pointed at his gasping audience with a sly smile, "before you take this all out of context, let me tell you why."
He was just about to start talking again when Illesio jumped in her seat and looked around, quite clearly startled. "Did...did anypony say anything?" she asked nervously.
Every pair of eyes in the room looked at her in complete confusion.
"...No...there's been complete silence. Why do you ask?" Res warily responded.
"Nevermind," Illesio said, waving her hoof dismissively, "I just...thought I heard something, is all. Please continue."
Clear Sight gave a small puzzled smile and resumed his account. "As I was saying, I had a reason for it. I grew up in a family of scientists, a natural oddity in itself, at least in Equestria. My parents had died when I was at a young age, and thus I never knew them, my caretaker being instead my uncle Premonition. I also have one older brother, a bright, successful student of arcane magics, but he prefers to not be associated with me."
He turned toward the radio team, apparently realizing his slip: "I implore anyone listening at this moment to please respect his privacy and to not go looking for him. I cannot stress this enough."
"But I digress," he said, falling back into a reverie, "As a family, me, my uncle, and my brother were happy. Premonition's talents lay in...magical fields, but his passions lay in the development of technology. He was the one who invented the first non-magical camera, a creation still widely used today. And as his nephews, we were his pride and joy. He taught us everything he knew about machinery, physics, all the basic hard facts of life without magic. I took to the life immediately," Clear Sight gestured to his hornless forehead, "but my brother wanted to learn magic. He enrolled and was admitted into Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, specifically its full-year apprenticeship program, and I never really saw him again for ages. I guess that me and my uncle were content to make our own way in pursuit of technological progress."
"Then one day in the summer, Premonition sat down and said to me out of the blue, 'My time has come, my child. I have forseen it.' Naturally, I was devastated, but he asked, 'Clear Sight?' I said 'yes?' and he told me one of the most frustrating things in my life: 'You will be a great pony, a giant among others. Just never forget the value...*wheeze*...of a well-tailored ensemble.' And he had a stroke and died right then and there, like he was just adding insult to injury."
Clear Sight was grinning good-naturedly, but the reporters looked a little put off by this turn. Res smothered a laugh in the background.
"That was his way," Clear Sight explained. "He was always one to make you find your own path through things. I really think that was the best way to do it, considering how I've turned out now. Premonition was true to his name, he could see the future, and I'm absolutely certain his actions were carefully crafted so that I would make my own way in the world."
"Wait, your uncle could see the future?" Illesio asked in disbelief.
"Oh, absolutely. Don't know how, or why, but hey, I'm not complaining."
"But then...did you inherit any of the traits?" There was a tint of hopefulness in Illesio's question.
"Nope. Totally a unicorn thing, 'cause you gotta have magic. And as you can see, I'm no unicorn." Clear Sight tapped his forehead again.
Illesio looked a little overwhelmed.
"But anyway, through an oversight in the familial guardianship system regarding the loss of my birth certificate and my brother's unfortunate, but altogether inadvertent, detachment from my life, I got taken in by the orphanage system," continued Clear Sight, "Proving to be a card to handle, eventually I just became a drifter, working off my own ingenuity and skill at gambling. I always was mad at my uncle for dying without so much as a good-bye. But that's when I met Res here. Re--"
"Whoa, wait a second. You said there was going to be a good reason for your criminal streak--what about that?" Illesio asked, waving her notepad.
"Oh, I did? Well, anybody who's ever been a teenager knows what it's like to harbor anger at that age. I was young, stupid, full of myself." Clear Sight coughed. "I really don't have an excuse for my actions, and I don't know why I thought it was a good idea to tell you I had a good reason for them. My apologies."
"Sorry," said Res, chuckling. "He gets a little caught up in the theatrics sometimes."
"I guess so..." Clear Sight trailed off and looked at Illesio again. After a few moments, he shook his head, and returned to the narrative.
"Res had a much different story, as he had grown up in a family of posh, disgustingly prim casual master racist unicorn nobility in an obscure corner of Equestria. Although he was educated in their ways, he always had a nagging feeling in the back of his head that his family weren't right about it."
"Exactly," Res interjected, "I knew something was off when I realized I didn't actually hold any attachment whatsoever to my family, and even at some of the most private schools in the kingdom, friendship was still a passing subject of study. Others would make small, insignificant remarks about their families, showing the bonds of love and trust between them, and this gave me a lot to think about."
He walked over to the window and stared into the woods beyond, his hoof resting on the sill. "I realized my family never meant anything to me, and from then on my goal was simply to get as far away from them as possible. I enrolled at Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns apprenticeship program, which may sound a little familiar by now."
"Oh, let me guess," Illesio said exitedly. "You met Clear Sight's brother?"
"Sure thing," Clear Sight replied, chuckling. "The two of them immediately hit it off as fellow students of magic. They helped each other through some hard scrapes, and became best friends."
"Of course," he continued, "who should arrive in Canterlot two and a half years in but a certain familial criminal? I figured out pretty easily where my brother's dormitories were, and on a fine spring evening in a dash of rain, my brother walked by a sunglasses-wearing pony who wouldn't stop staring at him. He walked straight into his dorm, shut the door, locked it, walked upstairs, began to brush his teeth, and broke all the windows in the building when it finally clicked. The foundation of that particular apartment is still damaged."
"He rushed outside, but realized it was too late: I had already gone. Reeling at the implications of what he had just done-- particularly just walked past his own brother and apparently, unknowingly, and effectively shutting him out of his life--he began searching for me. He even tried sending mail home for the first time, but they all came back unopened."
Clear Sight cleared his throat. "Not to say that he was a terrible person, he was just forgetful, and I don't blame him for not sending word."
"It took three months of looking all over Canterlot before he found me," he continued, going to the window just as Res sat down, "he got Res to help too, and that's eventually how he did it. Res stumbled across me one day as I was packing some labor-saving devices of my own creation, which I had just signed a load off to a salesman brother duo for a good amount of cash. The conversation didn't go as he intended, however."
"No indeed," Res replied with a sad smile, "I recall a lot of expletives."
Clear Sight scratched the back of his head. "The conversation itself wasn't important, but the effect it had was. I went back to see my brother, and caught him up to speed with the death of our uncle and how life had treated me for the past two years. He, quite understandably, was absolutely flabbergasted at how he could have stayed away from home for nearly three years and managed not to hear this. I just chalked it up to his absent-mindedness and passion for his work."
"I also was introduced during that fateful encounter to Res, who would continue to be a good friend of my brothers, and in his own words, 'a friend of my friend is also my friend.'"
Clear Sight glared at Res. "I told him to get more creative with semantics or I'd revoke our friendship licence."
Res burst out laughing.
Meanwhile, Illesio wasn't sure what to make of this situation. These are the most eccentric (and handsome) (shut up, brain) ponies in all of Equestria, after all, but if the entire story is going to be like this, then I might be in over my head.
---------As the story gets more and more complicated---------/
Author's Note
All'alba vincerò
There are some subtle hints to an underlying subplot that has no reason to exist
Total time spent on this chapter: 4 hrs
cheers from a defeated man
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Saturday 3: Something Killed the Radio Star But I'm Lost As To What
While Res was recovering from his fit of laughter, Illesio took the time to ask a few questions of Clear Sight.
"These labor saving devices, as you called them, were they the precursors to your technological work today?"
"Certainly, although these particulars were more of a get rich quick scheme," replied Clear Sight, "and quite to my surprise, they achieved this rather well. Soon after my run-in with my brother and Res, I had made enough money off of the niche market to afford a respectable apartment in the Canterlot outskirts. And although I didn't have magic, I would sneak into my brother's classes and borrow textbooks from the library to learn all I could about his subject of study."
"I quickly became fascinated with magic, particularly the enchantment side of the matter, as an idea occurred to me one day that a passively and beneficially enchanted object could be used by all ponies, not just unicorns." Clear Sight sat down and gestured with his hooves. "To clarify to our listeners, the difference between a passive and an active enchantment is in how it is activated: a passive enchantment is an ongoing function, while an active enchantment needs a spell of some sort to be run. King Sombra's security system for the Crystal Heart, recently discovered and researched extensively by our arcanists, is a perfect example of both. The Crystal Heart itself was protected by a passive enchantment of anti-magic crystal spires, which would either trap or block anyone attempting recovery."
"At the bottom of a staircase in the heart of the castle lies a door that is unable to be opened unless hit by an activation spell of magic: regular or dark. This is a strange case, as its evasive maneuvers show signs of a passive enchantment until triggered, in which it ends its passive stage and becomes active."
"But I digress. Res, my brother, and I figured out a way to convert any basic spell into an enchantment, a process which we have covered extensively in many books, dissertations, and the like, and which would take too much time to state here."
Res had fully recovered by now, and continued, "Precisely. This method of conversion, although helpful, is rather obfuscated, and uses a few loopholes in the fabric of magic to achieve. However, it did win me and Clear Sight's brother high honors at CSGT that year, and an audience with none other than the singular, at the time, Princess of Equestria. We managed to convince Celestia that the base idea for the conversion came from an earth pony, which she was skeptical of at first, but after Clear Sight somehow managed to sneak past her entire guard force and her personal throne room magical alarm systems, she had to give in."
Clear Sight chuckled. "The second best bit of sneakery I ever did in my life."
"I feel like I don't really want to know the first, but to be perfectly honest, I do." admitted Illesio. "What's your best?"
"Three years later, when I found the Canterlot Library restricted section and stole some of the most dangerous spells known to ponykind. Of course Celestia found me, but after a brief scuffle and extended lecture, she let me off the hook with a warning. Best day of my life."
Silence fell for a few moments as everyone stared at the manically grinning Clear Sight, before Res cleared his throat and began again.
"Celestia had to give in after meeting Clear Sight and seeing his incredible knack for finding loopholes and thinking in ways that nopony else had ever thought before. So she gave him an honorary admittance to CSGT for the purpose of introducing this method of thought into the school."
Clear Sight frowned and crossed his forehooves. "Naturally, being the only earth pony in a school for posh unicorns had its downsides, and for a full year I was miserable and depressed. I only stayed in because of Res and my brother. But, over time, the students acclimated to me, my absurdity, and my misanthropy, and began to associate more openly. Some of the best minds in Equestria, now extroardinarily successful scholars in their own right, still credit much of their success to my influence." He scratched the back of his head. "Oof, nevermind, that sounded extremely egotistical."
"But you're right," Res affirmed, "Both Dawn Gleam and Evening Aurora have publicly stated as much, and even those not directly associated with you, such as Sunburst, admit to your influence in modern magical studies."
"Well hey, don't leave yourself out, Res, you've had just as much influence, quite possibly even more than I have," Clear Sight responded, exasperated. "Nothi--"
Res raised a hoof and interrupted, "Perhaps, but that doesn't matter. I have achieved many things, and I won't contradict you when you say I've had influence as well, but you are a completely different case. As an earth pony researching magic and creating some of the most essential spells known to modern thaumaturgy, you showed the world that it doesn't matter what type of pony you are, that you can still make an impact on the world in whatever field you choose."
Clear Sight seemed to hesitate, before he sighed and said "I know, I just don't want to sound like I'm tooting my own horn," he gave a pondering smile. "...There's a joke in there somewhere."
Res raised an eyebrow and continued the narrative. "Clear Sight's brother had settled into his life rather nicely, and showed every sign of being one of the most promising students in the school, but me and Clear Sight had some issues. Although Clear Sight was accepted at school, he still seemed lost. He had got his cutie mark ages ago, but as you can see, it isn't very revealing."
Illesio studied the mark, and had to agree: it was a green diamond with four quarter ovals arranged around the center to form a kind of X.
"And I just was isolated, as I only really had the two of them as friends. There was something lacking, a...a purpose, if you will. But then, something happened, something that only the two of us know about, that realized our true potentials and made us the ponies we are today. Something so totally unexpected, and by its very nature incomprehensible, that no sane pony would ever believe us if we didn't have proof."
Clear Sight joined in again, "Something quite possibly the most unexplainable and inexplicable thing that has ever happened in this world, or ever will. Something so incredibly out of left field that you'd trip over the grandstand, fall down the stairs, hop on a train to Griffonstone, hire a hang glider and jump off the highest peak of the border mountains, fall directly into a hole in time and space that would transport you to a world halfway across the galaxy, and when that planet falls into a black hole, become trapped in a time loop for eternity hundreds of thousands of light-years away from the actual left field."
Everypony Equestria round sat expectantly around their radios, impatiently.
Everypony Equestria round waited to hear what fresh twist would take this tale in a completely new direction.
Everypony Equestria round was on the edge of their seats, wildly speculating mentally, not with their friends, to not miss a single detail of what would be said next.
Res took a deep breath.
"Looks like we're out of time for today," he said. "See you next Saturday for our next installment!"
He and Clear Sight spoke in unison. "Until then, this is the Applicable Literature and Psychiatric Help Agency, signing off. We hope you have a great day!"
The beginnings of hysterical laughter from Clear Sight were heard for a split second before the radio cut off into a solid tone.
A song from Sapphire Shores quickly replaced it, returning the kingdom's radios to a state of normalcy.
Everypony Equestria round all began talking at once.
---------"That was the dumbest ending I've ever heard!"---------/
Author's Note
Well well well.
This was the fastest chapter to write so far, is that a good sign or a bad sign, I have no idea.
Cheers for stupidity, I wouldn't have anything to make fun of if it didn't exist,
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Saturday 4: A Penny Saved Is Worth Two In The Bush
"What? You're just going to end it there? We still had fifteen minutes left in our segment!"
Illesio, quite reasonably, was rather put off, to say the least. Clear Sight was still laughing as hysterically as when he started, the radio crew were still reacting to the sudden magical manipulation of their equipment, and Resolve Spirit was just finishing wiping the laughter-induced tear from his eye.
"You've just ruined a perfectly good radio show and thrown off the CBS schedule by a large margin!" Illesio complained to Res, the only unoccupied pony in the room, who chuckled when he heard the acronym.
"Yes, but those at the Canterlot Broadcasting Services know what they're doing, and will fill in the gap quite nicely," Res assured her. "I'm thinking something by...Sapphire Shores or Countess Coloratura? I can never remember her name," he added as an afterthought.
In response to her exasperated gestures, he raised a hoof, saying, "We also cut the program short for more commercial reasons. Because everypony Equestria round was listening to the radio when we came on, this cliffhanger as it were will do no harm at all. In fact, it will be the only thing people can talk about for the next week, until our next segment comes on. Everypony will have theories by now, and every media company kingdom wide will already be writing articles. See?" He tapped his temple. "Subtle genius."
"But, but--the, how..." Illesio was having trouble talking for several reasons. For a start, she had just listened to two of the most famous ponies in Equestria casually go over their increasingly improbable past, which included a pony with future sight and a penchant for eccentric insight, a very likely royal family, the personal intervention of Princess Celestia, and the only earth pony to ever attend a school for unicorns ever.
For second, as much as she hated to admit it, she was teeming with curiosity: what new twist had happened to the three of them? As strange as their storytelling methods were, they had somehow managed to carry a subversively interesting narrative, and she found herself already calculating how long her week would seem, with all her work.
And third, Equestria's most eligible bachelor was nearly up in her nose, staring at her with a sly grin on his face...no, no, she didn't want to let her mind loose...
Res, of course, was wondering why Illesio had ceased to function in any meaningful way and resorted to an accurate imitation of a paraplegic goldfish, and waved a hoof in front of her eyes. "Excuse me?"
Illesio started violently, and hastily cleared her throat. "Nothing, nothing, sorry...I guess--"
"So sorry, beg your pardon," Res said, and crossed the room to slap Clear Sight on the back multiple times, in a only moderately successful plea to relieve his friend of a severe case of hacking up a lung, a serious case brought upon by the continued hysterical laughing he had submitted himself to.
A few moments later, Clear Sight regained a semblance of comprehensibility, and sputtered through some final relapses, "Ask your doctor if you are right for hysterical laughing. Side effects may include coughing, mania, subsequent regret--" before giving up as a particularly violent spasm rocked his respiratory system like a performance of Songbird Serenade.
Res crossed back over to Illesio, who wore an more bewildered expression, if that was even possible, and resumed the conversation: "You were saying?"
"Oh, uh," replied Illesio, "I was just thinking of something that you said...every media company would already be writing articles. That's true...but I haven't been contacted yet. If they really wanted me to write an article about it, they would have gotten a pegasus here by now, but..." she frowned. "I guess they're more concerned with getting an article out as quickly as possible. Contractually, I'm free for the rest of the day."
She blinked. "Wait, that means the first day off work in...almost three years," she mused, astonished. "Has it really been so long?"
Clear Sight, now fully recovered, picked up his head and shot Res a wild, unreadable look that he knew all too well.
Illesio was too busy recalling the last time she had a day off that she didn't notice the furious mental battle between the two of them.
The radio crew had already packed up and left.
Finally, Res sighed, and Clear Sight flashed him a Cheshire grin, before returning to a completely serious, apathetic expression.
As she broke out of her reverie, Illesio said, "Yes, it really has been three years. How time flies when you're working. I'll, uh, see myself out, then."
She was just thinking to herself, what in Equestria will I do with the time? when...
"Actually, I was thinking."
Res appeared next to her, and immediately her vision was filled with falling rose petals and unsettlingly romantic lens flares.
"Since you don't have any plans, as far as I can tell, how about I give you the grand tour of the facilities here? You can write an insider's article tomorrow."
He extended a hoof. "What do you say to that?"
She didn't say anything.
She took the hoof in stunned silence.
Clear Sight followed along after the two of them, still serious, but chuckling. "It's like a bad romcom," he said.
And they disappeared down the hallway.
--<480>-------Meanwhile, at the publishing offices for the Canterlot Journal, yep that's its name-------<482>--/
Straight Facts was having a bad day.
The radio event of the decade, planned months beforehand, had somehow never been communicated to the actual interviewees. Management is a tricky job, she knew that from experience, but when your subordinates don't tell the most exciting ponies in Equestria they're having a spot on a national radio station like CBS, particularly for a previously agreed on compilation of the most hidden and secretive details of their past?
That was just unacceptable.
Of course...she couldn't complain about the way it turned out. A second spot already confirmed for next week, massive amounts of publicity for the Canterlot Journal, and endless amounts of gossip fodder and overanalysation of passing comments, perfect for articles...on the whole, it was a positive outcome. Definitely, it could have been worse. Much worse.
But she still was angry with Illesio. Her job as a journalist was to get to the truth, no matter how much she had to dig, and the fact that she wasn't able to get them to spill more was an underperformance on her part. Never before had she acted so...so out of character.
"Something's up," Straight Facts said to herself. "Maybe she's having a hard time in her personal life. Maybe...she needs some time off."
That's a good idea! Who knows what might happen if you let her back now! She could be a vicious psychopath who just recently snapped and is waiting to get her revenge on her one enemy: you! her mind clamored at her.
As the head of a journalism company, she was used to this sort of mental thought process, and, hardly acknowledging it, she pushed that thought into the back of her mind. Not all the way back. That might come in handy if things go south.
"Shut up," she growled at herself. "Illesio is one of the least likely people to be a psychopath. She's determined, ruthless, uncaring about other's...feelings...delights in...abuse, scandal...the toppling of powers..."
Suddenly she felt like lying down.
Illesio deserved the day off, after all.
---------"Huh, now that I put it that way,"---------/
Author's Note
you can tell- by the hole in the window- made by an AK round---
yeah, this is getting pretty weird, mostly because I keep doing this without a clue as to what goes on next in the story, its all adlib
also cause this only took me 2 hours
Cheers, the reason Illesio's out of character is because sh--
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Sunday 2: When A Return To Form Doesn't Properly Function
The alarm clock buzzed.
Illesio groaned and sat upright in bed, glancing at the clock. It was Sunday.
What the hell happened yesterday? I can't remember a thing.
She cursed as her head caught up to her mind. Got the worst hangover, too. Must've been out too late again.
She rolled out of bed, fixed herself a quick breakfast, and walked down the stairs of the complex and away from her room, which, if she had only known, was the very same apartment Clear Sight had occupied during his time at CSGT. The universe works in strange ways...
She walked outside, blinked bleary-eyed, and looked around. All she saw were ponies walking outside, blinking bleary-eyed, and looking around.
She was too tired to notice, and left for her office at the Canterlot Journal. A journalist never rests, not even on the weekends: there's just too much politics to comment upon, remarks to twist, and analyses to compile. No, a rest could mean missing the scoop of the century, and that was something she was not going to miss.
But by the time she got there, however, the previous day had flooded back to her, and she was instantly fully awake, taking a fresh look at the situation.
Clear Sight had done something, but what? What was going on?
She reached the Canterlot Journal, where her boss Straight Facts (a peculiar name due to its unwavering hypocrisy) didn't look too much better than she herself had just been feeling.
"Great, Illesio. You don't look so good yourself. I'd be more concerned, but right now I've got a severe migrane. So," she gestured to a sheet of paper on the desk in front of her, "looks like today you get the special privilege of being the first media personnel to interview the ALPHA bit--I mean bosses. Congratulations," she clapped in a lackluster manner. "Now shoo, get the radio crew. You arrive at eleven-thirty."
She returned to her work, muttering and massaging her temples, and Illesio was left in utter stupefaction.
Aside from the pained manner in which the order was given, that was the exact same thing that happened yesterday.
She took a minute to quietly lose her sanity, before she pulled herself together and decided to reason it out. Clearly, Clear Sight was behind this, whatever it was...
The radio crew arrived fifteen minutes later to find her in a state of fear, but besides the fact that they all seemed just as tired as everyone else Illesio had met that day, they acted precisely the same as the first time.
Illesio finally had to admit that something utterly strange, annoyingly unexplained, and truly inexplicable was going on. Everyone she talked to was as put out as she was, they all had no recollection of the previous day, and they all looked at her with blank expressions when she brought up the subject.
She and the radio crew left early, hopping on the train to Ponyville, where they would transfer onto the ALPHA monorail through the Everfree.
The conductor chatted with the same mare two rows up, just like before.
The stallion walking down the aisle slipped on a fallen paper, just like before.
When they arrived in Ponyville, things were just as unexplained. Everyone seemed to have no memory whatsoever of the previous day, because even though she didn't remember anything after Clear Sight had done...whatever it was, she at least...knew there existed a day before today...
She got a sneaking suspicion that she was being put into some sort of science fiction novel, or...or switched to a different timeline, or a time loop, or...something was up, she knew that much.
The monorail swept swiftly towards the previous site of the Castle of the Two Sisters, which had been renovated years prior into the front facade and lobby of the much larger ALPHA head office.
The monorail stopped and the crew stepped out, having recovered from their headaches, and made the same conversation with each other.
Just like before.
They walked into the lobby, talked with the clerk at the front desk, and navigated through the same series of hallways and corridors.
Again, just like before.
They entered the newly built interview room, created for ALPHA's rebranding. The door on the other side swung open...
And that's when things became very, very unlike before.
Clear Sight burst into the room, yelling and holding a lethal-looking pointed object in his hoof. He pointed it at the radio crew and it lit up with a blinding emerald light.
When Illesio looked again, the crew was gone.
But before she could react, Clear Sight hissed, "Don't worry! I just teleported them to a safe spot, no need for calisthenics!"
He motioned wildly for her to follow him, and really, what other choice did she have?
After what seemed like hundreds of hallways later, they were back at the Technology Center. Clear Sight raised the pointed object and lit it up to open the theatrically carved door, giving Illesio a good look at what his weapon was.
It was a...well, there was really only one thing it could be. An artificial unicorn horn.
The thought threatened to boggle her off this mortal coil.
They entered the cavernous room again, but this time, it looked vastly different. The floor was clear, the projects were gone, even the fun six-sided summoning circle had disappeared. You could see all the way back to the end of the room, thousands of feet away.
Something was there, but Clear Sight turned to Res, who had just popped into existence a few feet away, and said, "Alright, Res, now we can all agree that although that idea was probably the best possible way to deal with the entirety of Equestria's logic-less public, it was pretty much the worst."
"I still think it turned out pretty well," said Res, but Clear Sight interrupted, "Are you kidding me? Reality bending in several different exotic ways, rampant denial of the butterfly effect? Sorry, but no shiz, something's going on here."
Res raised a hoof. "Alright, alright, I'll give you that much. But we still have to figure out what to do with the interview. Do we cancel it?"
Clear Sight thought for a moment, and then shook his head, saying, "Heck no! We do the interview, we do something so that the fragile, emotional minds of ninety percent of the population don't snap and come at us like ravenous motorized leeches, and we continue with our lives as whatever passes for normal."
He put his head in his hooves. "But, listen here. Do you know how close to a destabilization in every single aspect of the word we came? This cannot happen again," he said to Res, poking him to accentuate each word.
Illesio decided this was most likely the best time to come into the conversation, "Excuse me, but what actually happened?"
Res and Clear Sight looked at each other for a moment and shrugged. "A single case would probably be OK..." Clear Sight reasoned, and then turned to Illesio.
"OK, so I got this rock here," he gestured to his necklace, "that can help me wipe the memories of any sentient being. I used this on everything in Equestria, except me, you, and Res, all at once to forget what happened from Saturday morning to Saturday evening. It worked, but it did some...other, really interesting things, and I mean interesting in the worst possible sense of the word."
Illesio thought about this for a minute.
She had seen some strange things in her time, most of them connected with ALPHA, but this took the cake.
But to be honest, she wasn't surprised, and it finally seemed to clear up an enormous amount of occurrences, particularly the fact that no media coverage existed of the facilities.
She nodded. "Understandable. So what now?"
Res and Clear Sight looked at each other again and shrugged again. "Guess not," Clear Sight mumbled, and then continued, "So, we've still got to do our interview with you, but we've got to either tell the plot twist before the next segment, which would have no flow..."
Illesio was hoping for that one.
"...Or we make something up on the fly."
Probably not hoping so much for that one.
Res thought about it for a second, motioned for Clear Sight to come over, and had a fierce mental conversation that consisted of a brief staring contest, an interpretive dance number, and a ferocious game of what looked to be rock paper scissors.
Finally Res turned around and said, "We're going to have to make something up on the fly. The pros outweigh the cons of telling the twist too soon."
"Can't you tell the twist to me at least?" Illesio put on her best 'lady with a purpose' face.
Res put on his best 'why do I even bother, you absolutely vapid journalist' face. "That would ruin the point, and the suprise--I mean, surprise."
Well that's that. No use trying to get information out of these two, it's like trying to open a bank vault encased in concrete and protected by a full battery of magic missiles.
She sighed, and said, "Alright, let's get on with it."
--<>-------What in Equestria just happened?-------<>--/
Author's Note
oh yeah,,, lady with a purpose ;;;;)
This is where the story gets strange
implying that it wasn't weird before
2 hrs 45 min
Cheers from a violently bleeding man currently, im not joking
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Sunday 3: Where Things Get Complicated, Implying They Weren't Before
"Alright, now that you're both here," Illesio said, checking her notes and motioning to the microphone handler, "I'd like to have a personal discussion about new developments in your company, and perhaps glean some information that could shed some light on the subject of your interests, goals, et cetera. Any objections?"
Clear Sight looked apathetic, and was about to deliberately not speak when Res interrupted his attempt with a flat "Not that I can see, I mean, we've kept pretty in the dark for a while now, and the public deserves to know." He exchanged a meaningful glance with Clear Sight, who sighed in exasperation and settled down in his chair.
"But first, what's your name?" Res asked, shooting her a cautioning look. "I don't think I caught it."
"Illesio," she said, true to form.
She cleared her throat, keeping a close eye on the radio team to make sure they didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, but she felt that as two of Equestria's most neurotic ponies, the two of them wouldn't draw unwarranted attention. "Alright, let's keep this simple then. First question: What reason is there in the re-branding of your company's trademark phrases?"
"Oh that? That's easy," Res responded. "We thought the company was becoming too commercialized, and although the whole point of the ALPHA was to bring technology, medical assistance, and knowledge to all ponies all over Equestria, commercializing forms of charity seemed a little disingenuous. That's why we changed our phrase from 'Bringing the Horizon a Step Closer' to 'Bringing Harmony a Step Closer.'"
Smooth so far.
It was a good idea to write down their lines beforehand. She had cleverly concealed hers in her notepad.
"Why, as of recent events, has the company's choice in commissions been reevaluated?"
"For the same reason, of course. We now exclusively focus on inventions and works for the benefit of the greater public, instead of some jobs we had taken on in the past for the sole use of wealthy investors. That particular choice was a little tricky, as we risked angering those same investors that supply us with funding, but to be completely honest, we could do the same job we do now with half the money."
"That leads us into my next question. Does your company still place a great emphasis on humanitarian works?"
"Absolutely. All profits go to charities, such as the Equestrian Red Sun, the Whooves Disability Awareness Foundation, and the Foundation for the Limitation of Undeserved Terror To Animals, and we keep a public tab on all transactions that can be viewed in both the Canterlot and Crystal Empire Business Centers and the town halls for every major city and town nationwide. We are proud to be a source of help for these charities."
"Great! These answers are satisfactory, but now we come to the real reason behind my visit. For years, the entire nation has been clamoring over what the past of this company has been, and the accounts given contradict each other almost completely. I was hoping you could, for the benefit of the public, reveal the truth of the matter?"
There was a long pause, and finally Res sighed. "Well, yes," he said. "Our past has been hidden for far too long, and I fear if we cover it up any longer, we'll pay for it dearly. One last thing," he asked, "We're on air, right?"
"Are we?" Illesio asked in a brief moment of panic, looking to the radio pony staff behind her, who thankfully all nodded.
"Perfect," said Res. "This needs to be raw and unedited. Straight from the horse's mouth, as it were. Will you start us off, Clear Sight?"
"I called you over to tell the story, but yeah, sure man," Clear Sight grimaced, sitting down and rubbing his hooves together.
This is where the improvisation comes in...I hope he can tell a good story with no lines, Illesio thought, but she had been assured by Res beforehand that no sentient creature in Equestria was better at it than Clear Sight.
Clear Sight leveled a look through his shades at her that for the briefest of moments, somehow betrayed both maniacal humor and pure existential hopelessness.
"Well, it all started about twenty, twenty-three years ago," started Clear Sight, "I still can't believe it's been that long, to be frank. But the circumstances of our lives need to be told as well, so the full context isn't lost. Who do you want to hear about first?" He carried his intended meaning: for the charade to work, she needed to commit too.
"Oh, well...How about you?" she quickly recovered.
"Good choice," he continued, "I grew up roughing it in the streets of Vanhoover with only a rock and a piece of copper wire to my name. My parents were, as far as I can tell, nonexistent, so I just prefer to think I leapt out of the floorboards at the orphanage one fall evening."
He scratched his chin in thought. "Not much to tell about that, particularly. Next thing I knew I was kicked out and walking the alleyways free and simple. Nick a living off where you can, make a quick bit or two doing a bit of honest work, and make a quick bit or two hundred doing a bit of the dishonest variety. Amazing what a resourceful pony can do with a rock and a piece of copper wire."
He turned towards the microphone. "Now, all you kids listening in, for one you probably shouldn't be, but secondly, don't get any ideas. Jail is a pretty boring place, I should know."
"After one particularly long stint in the con college, I managed to run into the last pony anyone would expect to associate with me." He paused for effect, gesturing to Illesio to keep it up.
"Let me guess, Res here?" she said.
Res chose this point to jump in, "Actually, no. It was my brother."
Illesio had to suppress a laugh, and only barely managed.
"My brother Steadfast was a well groomed, well dressed, well educated unicorn, as he should have been, he was raised with me." Res continued. "We both belonged to a family of the fine arts, including, well enough, fashion design. My aunt, to be precise." An idea seemed to hit him, and he said thoughtfully and with a twinkle in his eye, "She had two daughters, if I remember, I wonder what happened to them? She and her husband did die early in their lives..."
Illesio saw where this was going, and had a bad time restraining another laugh.
Res shot her a warning look tinged with humor, and resumed. "But I'm getting off track. My brother Steadfast quickly befriended Clear Sight, no easy feat may I add, and became, well, a steady foundation for his fickle, manipulative mind."
"It's true," Clear Sight nodded contemplatively. "I did, at one point, have a fickle, manipulative mind. Thankfully, no more, thanks to Stead Fast."
Res continued to resume the narrative, "Clear Sight owes much of his morality today to Steadfast, who not only taught him how to respect others, but also the intrinsic value of friendship."
"Which made for some pretty interesting discussions," interrupted Clear Sight, "but nonetheless, I can verify that beforehand, I was a terrible, terrible pony, and only thanks to Steady and Res here that I am the, uh, pillar of virtue you see today."
Res seemed to be giving out warning glances a lot lately.
--<>-------Man, I have a ton of respect for improv artists-------<>--/
Author's Note
Goodness gracious me
Recurring improv: improv within improv: Improvception
Two hours
Cheers from a man whose eyes are drilling holes into the back of his head
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Sunday 4: Given A Level Backstory And A Place To Rest It
"Anyway, Steadfast quickly became my friend and introduced me to his brother Res," continued Clear Sight, "both of whom were about to set up a huge folk artist culture festival. Music, dance, traditional sweets, you name it: the two brothers were at the head of it all."
Res chuckled and shook his head nostalgically. "Ah, those were the days, when the two of us would create these festivals for the appreciation of the most honest parts of the fine arts. Folk and tradition are the purest and most heartwarming kind of art imaginable."
"Absolutely," added Clear Sight, "the two brothers asked me to help out, clearly seeing my skill with my hooves as something worth enhancing the festival with. With my help, they rounded up all the artists and set up all the decorations well before the deadline."
Clear Sight leaned back in his chair, lost in the nearly real lie he was spinning, almost even oblivious to the fact that it was a lie at all.
"Never before or since have I seen anything so beautiful in my life. The streets of Vanhoover were lined with banners, ribbons, stalls, stages, booths, anything and everything Quebecrop you could imagine. Sounds of Prench singers and fiddles mixed with the haunting tones of shaped note choirs. Stalls sold poutine, ham, maple pastries, meat pies, molasses taffy, dumplings, and some other things that were absolutely incredible but I can't remember the name. Folktales and plays (both starring cheery working class colts with a propensity for local slang) went on in all corners of the city. In short," Clear Sight said, "it was paradise."
He placed his hoof on the table with an air of momentous decision. "As I took this all in, I made a clear choice. These innocent, joyful ponies celebrated the history that made them special. Since I, a guilt-ridden, depressed pony, didn't have any history," he said, taking his hoof slowly off the table and placing it on his chest, "I would make my own to celebrate about."
Illesio felt a surge of compassion for this wonderful decision--and then remembered that none of that had actually happened, and it fled away, leaving her feeling hollow inside.
"So I started by doing what I was best at: making stuff. I had already shown a talent for it during the festival preparations, but this time I intended to help people out my own way. I soon found a job making commissioned decorations for events, and eked out a respectable living."
Clear Sight frowned. "Still, something was missing. I loved to help people out, but I wanted to add something more...substantial, if you know what I mean. So in between orders, I would go to the library and begin to read, thankfully something I picked up as a foal. I read every single book in that library and only one thing truly stood out to me. Magic. It seemed to me, still with my pickpocket mentality, that there were some, some logical conclusions and unexplored regions to magic that no pony had thought of.
Of course," he chuckled, "some of them were really forbidden arts long outlawed, but more importantly, some were entirely new."
He scratched his chin thoughtfully. "It seemed that the only thing stopping magic from proceeding forward at a rapid pace was the blunt fact that the minds of all its scholars were, let's face it, narrow. Thought patterns simply trudged on through the ages, tradition ruled, and to be honest, that caused nine hundred years of stagnant magical research. Thankfully, once this barrier was overcome, interest in magic resurged and development sped along faster than anyone ever thought possible. The everyday unicorn now saw new ways to use magic, and through the clever exploitation of a glitch in enchantments, pegasi and earth ponies could now reap the benefits of their hard work as well." He smiled.
"Of course, I would never have gotten anywhere without the help of Res here. Steadfast had long since left town to start a new festival elsewhere, but Res stayed, having fallen in love with the culture. Together we worked on small projects and magic work until we made a breakthrough."
Res chimed in: "Our new method of transmuting any spell into an enchantment would eventually lead to the creation of previously impossible objects and technologies, and who else knew it but Princess Celestia herself. As the only princess of Equestria at the time, it was a tremendous honor for her to travel all the way to Vanhoover to see two amateur scientists. She even went so far as to give us a royal commission to continue our work and to instruct others in new methodologies that Clear Sight unearthed."
"And that's our past, well, as much as was unknown before," Clear Sight concluded. "Any questions?"
Illesio thought for a moment. "What happened to Steadfast?"
"Good question," said Res, looking a little concerned, "He eventually made it all the way to the Crystal Empire, where he worked for a while, but I haven't heard from him recently...what's he up to now, I wonder? Hmm," he scratched his chin.
Good, that detail will probably sort itself out.
She couldn't think of anything else to ask, every other detail seemed pretty believable.
But then a voice came from behind her.
"Uh, actually, Mr. Clear Sight, I have a question."
One of the radio ponies had spoken up, and Illesio realized where this was going a moment too late.
Oh he's going to reveal the lie, isn't he?
Clear Sight seemed to have seen this too, but he also seemed to be accurately imitating limestone: pale, rigid, and flaky.
"Up until last year I had been living in Vanhoover my entire life," the radio pony said, puzzled, "and I never once heard about the two of you. How did I manage to miss both you and the best folk festival ever?"
Clear Sight stared at him in a state of panic.
Res stared at Clear Sight, who was in a state of panic, in a state of panic.
Illesio stared at Res and Clear Sight who were both coming out of their states of panic and entering states of grim determination.
The radio pony stared into midair, still in a state of confusion.
And the reason why Res and Clear Sight had foregone states of panic for states of grim determination was this:
Everypony Equestria Round entered a state of confusion.
A fraction of Everypony Equestria Round entered a state of realization, and then anger.
The rest of Everypony Equestria Round joined them after having the ones in the states of anger explain the situation.
And then Clear Sight pulled his artificial unicorn horn out of nowhere and entered the radio ponies into different states of unconsciousness, and took the broadcast off the air.
The three of them sat in silence for a few minutes.
Finally, Res spoke up.
"I really absolutely despise you right now, Clear Sight."
Clear Sight stared at him with the air of an utterly mortified and defeated pony.
"...You're not the only one."
Illesio said, "To be honest, that was some pretty good improv. Too bad this was a radio interview instead of an Ogres and Oubliettes session."
Clear Sight looked surprised. "You play that? I wouldn't have guessed, your type usually doesn't, no offense. What class?"
"Oh, um, usually I play a paladin, but I don't really play often, what with work and all."
"No way! Paladins are my favorite class too, I love how you can just whale on someone with Divine Smite while healing with Lay On Hooves, it's so conveni--"
Res said, "Hey, we got something else to be thinking about. So shut the hell up."
There was silence for a few seconds again before Res spoke a second time.
"This attempt was an utter and complete absolutely fully incomprehensible vastly massive faliure," he said. "How does this even happen? Doesn't matter. What do we do to fix it?"
Clear Sight said, "There's no other way. Regardless of the consequences, I've got to use the Memory Fragment on them again."
Illesio said, "Why do you need to? If they get in here and tear the place apart, so what? You can always skip town."
Clear Sight merely looked at her and asked, "Do the words 'Everypony Equestria Round' mean anything to you? Every single pony in Equestria now hates me and Res."
Res nodded. "Not only that, but if they got in here and tore the place apart, they'd tear apart some things that'd tear them apart back, and quite possibly tear apart the thing that could tear apart the fabric of space and time."
"The worst type of fabric to work with," muttered Clear Sight.
Res thought for a minute, then seemed to start, and glared at Clear Sight.
He pointed at Illesio. "Okay, wait, why did we even have to bring her into this? That makes absolutely no hecking sense."
Clear Sight glared back, saying, "Sassafras, man, you know that the two of us together would get about as far as my ego on a Saturday morning, which is to say, stay on the floor in pain and go nowhere. We needed a third party who's got a clear head and a reasonable temperament."
Res looked completely stunned. "You're calling a journalist reasonable?? She's the least likely in the entire world to be reasonable, its her job to not be reasonable, you idiot!"
Clear Sight breathed calmly for a few seconds and wiped the sweat from his sunglasses before answering. "Pot calling the kettle. In real life, not papers, this mare right here is a remarkably reasonable pony. Trust me, I've seen inside her head."
He grinned, and Res muttered, "Haven't we all, Mr. MRI?"
Clear Sight moved on to the next subject. "Alright, if we're really going to do this again, we've got to stabilize reality somehow so our move doesn't warp and weft it. You thinking what I'm thinking? Of course you are. The R.I.T."
Illesio, having felt distant from the conversation for a while, thought now would be a good time to enter again. "What's the RIT?"
Clear Sight leaned back in his chair. "The Reality Instance Tripod."
--<>-------S********s is a pony swear, you know s**t's going down-------<>--/
Author's Note
i said heyyyyyyayyyyyyayyyyyyayyay, heyyyyyyayyyyyyay, I said hey
Wow, I can't tell whether this is a really good chapter or a really bad one.
Cheers from a fatally tired man,
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Sunday 5: It Finally Catches Up With Me How Dumb This Premise Is
"Why did we even have to do an ad-lib in the first place? Holy Celestia, Clear Sight, you can be the densest pony I've ever met," said Res.
The three of them were sprinting down corridors, stopping to unlock private personnel gates, and navigating their way toward the Technology Center.
Clear Sight spared him a glare in the midst of entering a sixteen-digit code on a door."Hey, I thought it would be fun, I never thought the same exact thing would happen like last time, and besides, you seemed pretty up for it at the time too."
"That's because I went against my better judgement and listened to you when you said not to cancel the interview!" Res yelled as they skidded around a corner. "If we had just canceled it, none of this would have needed to happen!"
Illesio nearly ran into Clear Sight, who had stopped dead in his tracks and sunk into a state of intense concentration.
"Actually," he said after a while, "my best guess is that...canceling would have achieved the same result...Everyone Equestria Round has been waiting for ages for this to happen, and we all have seen what they can do. They're more maniacal than those guys that take Saturday morning cartoons way too seriously. This is worse, much worse."
He reflected again. "A single cliffhanger was enough to send them all into a frenzied anticipation that quickly grew too much to be contained. Somehow, either we two have become the most interesting ponies in Equestria to the point of extremely illogical obsession and violence, or something else, something different has happened."
Res saw it too. "You're right, it seems...unnatural. Like a, a 'Want It, Need It' spell in a sense, but this seems different."
Illesio thought back to the previous day, the one that nobody else remembered but the three of them, and recalled the terrible look each of the advancing ponies had worn...there's no way that could be natural, why didn't I see that before?
But then Clear Sight's watch beeped off another five minutes, and snapping back to the reality of the situation, they immediately resumed their dash to the Technology Center.
When they arrived there, the room was just as they left it, empty save for the object leaning against the far wall, but before they could move towards it, they were accosted by a brown stallion.
"YOU THERE!" he bellowed in a reedy voice. "DID YOU SERIOUSLY THINK I WOULDN'T NOTICE YOUR ATTEMPT?"
Clear Sight placed his head in his hooves, and calmly said, "No, Doc, I didn't. I was hoping you would stay home."
"STAY HOME?? AFTER YOU MESS WITH THE FABRIC OF SPACE AND TIME?!??" He was getting more and more hysterical.
"YOU COULD HAVE *cough* *cough* ...excuse me, chaps, you COULD HAVE DESTABILIZED THE UNIVERSE IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD!!!"
He finally seemed to have calmed down after this last tirade, and Clear Sight took this opportunity to explain the situation in full detail. He explained the first run through the interview, the actions of Everypony Equestria Round, the memory wipe, the second run, and their suspicions on something sinister behind it all.
"Oh, well in that case," Doc said cheerfully, "there's no time to lose. What's your name, my lady?"
"Oh, um, Illesio," replied Illesio, who was getting used to being part of the background.
"Such a wonderful name you have! You're part of this too, now, I see." Doc nodded. "Interesting choice by Clear Sight. Absolutely smashing to meet you, Miss Illesio. Right this way, please."
Res asked Doc how he knew something was up, Clear Sight already knew the answer, and Doc was more than happy to explain. "Well, I woke up and it was Sunday instead of Saturday, and everyone knows I was the first to research time magic since Starswirl himself. Simple matter, I called foul, and after the play was reviewed, I was right."
He turned back to Illesio. "But here's something I don't understand, Miss Illesio, if this mentality affecting Everypony Equestria Round is a spell or other magic, how are you not affected by it?"
That's a good question...I don't know.
"Well," she said after a moment's consideration, "I've never been one to let emotions get in the way of my work."
Clear Sight burst out laughing, and Res stared at him incredulously.
Doc ignored them, and frowned, saying, "That might be it, but I have a feeling some other factor as well is keeping you unaffected...No time to speculate right now, we have to get the RIT running."
As they walked over, Doc explained what the RIT did. "Aside from the new craze to acronymize any and all project names, the Reality Instance Tripod does about exactly what it says it does: it chooses three of the most stable alternate timelines in close proximity, and links ours to theirs, creating an environment four times as resistant to reality warping and wefting."
Res added, "This technology is so far ahead of its time, I think Clear Sight actually came back from the future to give himself the idea, but I can't remember..."
Clear Sight choked, and began coughing again. He waved his arms and tried to communicate something across.
"Doc," he said in between fits, "You, you said that Starswirl was the last to research time magic?"
Doc looked suprised. "Y-yes, but he was a lot further along than even me, what does this have to..."
Res had turned very pale.
Clear Sight nodded.
"Because," he continued, "I just had a conversation yesterday about just that subject."
Illesio's mind flicked into high gear. One thing could be said about her with absolute certainty, that she was good at connecting events together. Starswirl the Bearded, a master of time magic, and the original Bearers, the protectors of Equestria, were back, and if Doc had figured it out so quickly, then it was quite clear that Starswirl would know as well.
She saw where this was going from a couple thousand miles away.
"No, really?" she said, just before a loud bashing could be heard from the wall far away on the other end of the room.
The bashing got louder, and along with it, a voice tinged with Viking tones.
"GRAAHH! How is this harder than solid stone? It's so thin!"
The wall finally dented in, and a vast grey stallion with fiery hair leapt through the hole, accompanied soon after by a old greenish mare, a young Southern Equestrian mare, a pegasus stallion dressed in Romare armor, a bluish mare with a strange hairdo, and...well, of course, who else would it be after all this buildup, but Starlight Gli---sorry, wrong page---Starswirl the Bearded.
These were apparently the original Bearers of the Elements of Harmony with him, and all of them looked at the four ponies inside with determination in their eyes.
"YOU FOUR!" Starswirl quickly came to the front of his group and yelled across the divide. "WE HAVE COME TO STOP YOU AND YOUR ATTEMPTS TO MAKE THE POWER OF TIME YOUR OWN! I ONCE WAS ALLURED BY THE SAME GOAL AS YOU, BUT NOTHING BUT TRAGEDY EVER CAME FROM IT! I THEREBY ASK YOU ALL TO CEASE THIS MEDDLING IN THE CAREFULLY WOVEN FABRIC OF SPACE AND TIME!"
"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" called Clear Sight.
"WHAT WAS THAT, VILLAIN?" called Starswirl.
"THE REVERB IN HERE IS KINDA BAD," called Clear Sight, "I CAN'T MAKE OUT A WORD YOU'RE SAYING!"
Starswirl gave up and teleported directly into Clear Sight's face, staring him down, which was difficult, as he was wearing sunglasses. "I said, that we have come to stop your attempts to make the power of time your own, and that we thereby ask that you cease this meddling in the fabric of space and time lest we banish you all to another world."
Clear Sight tilted his head. "Ohhhhh, see you got it all wrong, I just made a mistake, I'm actually actively trying to fix it, also, for a legend from a musty old book," he added, "you pretty much smell like one."
Starswirl stared him down with even more menace in his eyes than before, but asked, "...Explain..."
"What, the smell? Or the fixing it part?" Clear Sight said, then threw up his hooves, "alright, alright, the fixing it part. Celestia, haven't you heard of a joke?"
He went on to explain everything, and by the time he had finished, the rest of the Bearers had joined them and were listening intently.
"I see," said Starswirl. "There lies power in this stone that you do not understand. Do you know what it is?"
Clear Sight said "Well--"
"It is nothing less than the Memory Stone of Clover the Cl--"
"No, no, wait, not that one," Clear Sight interrupted. "I know all about that one, some scrolls on it are in the Canterlot Library Restricted Section, and it's not in this world anymore. This one is a Memory Fragment, much different."
Starswirl looked blankly at him.
"Well, that complicates things." he said. "But you are right, if we hope to stop those seemingly controlled ponies from destroying much, we must activate your machine. To use the Memory Fragment again without support would be unwise, I think."
The Romare stallion raised a gauntleted hoof. "Will you keep our memories with us? I don't think we want another repeat of this same encounter."
"No problem," Clear Sight replied, "just let's get the RIT running first." His watch beeped. "We don't have much time."
--<>-------Whoo hoo hoo hoo this is so bad-------<>--/
Author's Note
man, remember the E meme? that was when the final vestiges of the modern art phase were transmuted into reality. Memes are now avant-garde
Starswirl. Why not? It's simply a logical conclusion.
2 hrs 15 min
Cheers from a man with no funny ideas left or at all,
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Sunday 6: In Which The Author Tries Desperately To Cover Up Plot Holes But Only Adds More
Illesio was, surprisingly, having a good day.
Never before had she felt like she had a purpose, a goal in life beyond doing her work and surviving the next day, which admittedly was a little sad, but nonetheless certainly not the worst worldview she'd ever seen.
She was a journalist, the most universally despised--and contrarily admired--kind of pony in existence. The public hung from the press's fingers like a marionette, if you knew what strings to pull. Politics, intrigue, any kind of lies and deceit were the stagnant pools that the mosquito-like journalists would revel in. Practically even suck your blood, too.
And her new role in a desperate cover-up of terrible secrets, incredible and dangerous technology, and perhaps even an evil scheme or two?
Fits me perfectly!
Clear Sight turned his head and gave Illesio what probably amounted to a wink, it was hard to tell...Guess he made a good choice, then.
Meanwhile, Res and the Bearers were having a lengthy discussion about what to do, she wasn't really paying attention. Doc was telling her the proper combinations of commands to input into the Reality Instance Tripod, which according to him housed...time...tethers, or something equally implausible.
Doc was a strange case, he reminded her of someone, maybe from a comic book or something, but she couldn't put her finger on it.
She snapped out of her reverie in trying to remember who...exactly, just in time to see Res walk back towards them and say, "You know, really, its kind of sad. Here we are in a jam and we've already resorted to the multiverse theorem." He shrugged.
Doc was in a state of concentration, and replied, "Almost...one more line...there. Should be ready."
"OK," Res said, "what timelines are the best bet?"
Doc replied, "The most stable ones are pretty simple to find, there's three relatively close ones that suit the bill. Good to go."
Starswirl had walked over, and eyed the machine with a strange wary wonder. "How in Equestria did you make this machine? Its magic is more complex than anything I ever accomplished..."
Clear Sight smiled. "Well, I got the idea from you, apparently, I don't remember because I traveled back in time from what is now the future to give myself the idea in the past. Or at least, I think I did, I don't remember that either." He scratched his head.
The Bearers gathered around, and introduced themselves as Rockhoof, Mistmane, Flash Magnus, Mage Meadowbrook, Somnambula, and Star Swirl.
Illesio took the time to ask, "...So is your name one word or two? Starswirl...Star Swirl?"
"Oh, two separate words, to be precise," replied Star Swirl.
"Dangit," she said. "I've been visualizing it wrong for ages. So sorry."
Clear Sight quickly got into a discussion with Mistmane about the sacrifice she had taken in being old, and managed to somehow turn the subject to the media the modern-day residents of her home town had created. Soon Mistmane was listening wide-eyed to Clear Sight regale her with tales of mechanical houses, bird men, and witches.
Doc, Star Swirl, and Mage Meadowbrook all became one group talking about science, and revealed that Mage Meadowbook had actually been the first to come up with a method of enchanting items permanently for her artifacts, although she agreed that the modern way was more efficient. Star Swirl wanted explanations of all the technology he had seen so far, and Doc was only too happy to oblige.
Res was accosted by Flash Magnus on the somewhat unexpected subject of fashion, which became even more unexpected when Rockhoof joined in. Apparently he had an eye for it, who knew.
Somnambula, however, walked directly over to Illesio and struck up a conversation.
"Good afternoon to you," she said in a lilting, pleasant accent.
"Good afternoon to you too," Illesio said. "So...you came back from limbo after a thousand years, huh?"
"It was not really as bad as you would think," was the reply, "It was as only a moment to us. However, our self comitted banishment was, in the end, for naught, as our objective failed."
"Oh no, that's terrible," said Illesio. "To think, a huge sacrifice and knowing that you probably won't ever be free, and even if you are, that your friends and family would have died ages beforehand, and all of that for nothing?"
Somnambula smiled. "Well, not for nothing, to say...He's been here the entire time, and I think your friend with the strange facewear has already noticed him...but there is another honorary member of our circle. His name is Stygian, and his story was tragic..."
Somnambula then proceeded to tell her the entirety of their backstory, up until the reformation of the Pony of Shadows by Twilight Sparkle, Starlight Glimmer, and their new Bearers.
"Wow, so I guess," said Illesio, "the banishment wasn't entirely a failure, since you still got to stop the Pony of Shadows and take back your friend from its clutches...You said he was here already?"
"Yes, but he has been rather timid as of late, he fears himself. I tell him there is nothing to fear, that we must hope in our own convictions, but even when he wants to understand, he struggles."
A huge chorus of laughter burst out in a newly formed group of Doc, Clear Sight, Rockhoof, Star Swirl, Mage Meadowbrook, and Mistmane. Flash Magnus and Res were chatting in the corner.
Illesio interrupted. "Hey, guys, there's a rumbling from up there, I think we've got to get this show on the road."
Res listened for a split second, then nodded, saying, "Yep. Doc, do the honors."
Doc pressed a button and...nothing happened.
"That's supposed to happen," he said. "If it made a noise, something would have been wrong."
Clear Sight then looked around at everyone, and said, "Alright, let's get memory business over with."
Somnambula spoke up. "Wait, there is one more of us to take into account."
Clear Sight nodded. "Yes, he's been quite cleverly concealing himself up on the catwalks. He's got a good eye for...keeping in the shadows." he chuckled.
He yelled up, "Don't worry Stygian, I got you too," and was rewarded when a pair of pale blue eyes appeared from behind a support beam and a faint voice answered, "Thank you."
Clear Sight reached for the necklace under his shirt, and this was when Illesio finally got a good look at it: it was an octahedron the size of a grape colored with a deep, pure emerald color.
She gasped.
Res said, "What is it?"
Clear Sight said, "What is it oh freaking geez--"
And the world turned to light.
Author's Note
whooo stygian is the worst name, it literally means 'very dark'
I've got nothing to say about this other than pointing out the very, very nearly pseudocanonical nature of this fic
2 hrs
Cheers to fame and fortune and a good set of luck,
Applicable Literature & Psychiatric Help Agency
Monday 2: That's Besides The Plot Point
The alarm clock buzzed.
Illesio groaned and sat upright in bed, glancing at the clock. It was Monday.
What the hell happened yesterday? I can't remember a thing.
She cursed as her head caught up to her mind.Got the worst hangover, too. Must've been out too late again.
She rolled out of bed, glanced at Clear Sight, fixed herself a quick breakfast and walked down the stairs of the complex.
Sunglasses, she thought.
That's when something tapped her on the shoulder, causing her to shriek and jump in shock.
Naturally, it was Clear Sight, who said, "Did you know you live in the same apartment I used to? What a coincidence!"
Illesio had a brief moment of entirely genuine and complete confusion before the memories of the past two days began to resurface. She sighed in relief.
"Phew, thought something out of the ordinary was happening," she said, before immediately adding, "On second thought, forget I said that sentence."
"No problem, happens to me all the time," said Clear Sight, "So let me catch you up to speed. The Bearers are going to meet us in the Tech Center in approximately half an hour, and since the RIT functioned properly, we're going to see what happens if we just don't hold the interview in the first place."
"This is surreal," replied Illesio, "I mean, it's like a time loop of some sort, but without the...the time? To be entirely honest, I think it would be much easier to just have a time loop instead of what nonsense we're going through."
Clear Sight frowned. "Yeah, I don't get it either...you would think more subtle changes would occur, but the butterfly effect seems to have taken the week off, I guess we're all just winging it at this point."
"Mmm-hmm," said Illesio, "but how are we supposed to get there within half an hour?"
"Don't even trip, bro," was the response, "remember this?"
He pulled the artificial unicorn horn out of nowhere again. "This is the Klaspmente, so named because of a failed hardware prototype, really, don't ask." He shuddered. "Nightmare fuel."
Illesio stared. "Amazing...how did you make this? This is incredible, this could easily change Equestria for the better..." She thought for a second, "Or worse. Most likely worse. Probably best to keep it hidden for now."
"Well, I thought I had come back from the future to give myself the idea, that seems to happen a lot, but like I said yesterday, I can't remember..." He scratched his chin habitually.
Illesio realized something stood out to her about this statement, and thought about what it could be for a minute. Meanwhile, Clear Sight prepped a teleportation spell, and explained, "Since I'm an earth pony by birth, the magic in the horn is completely artificial, and has a harder time recognizing its owner. Et cetera, other funny business, just link the horn directly to the brain through a wireless connection--"
"Wait, you already invented wireless? How come you don't use it already?"
"Well, because it's impractical so far, I mean, take a severely metered lightning spell and transform it into a form of data, then teleport the electrical values to a linked node elsewhere, it's pretty complicated, and only used for real expensive stuff so far," Clear Sight explained, just as the spell zapped them both directly into the Tech Center. Ponies were rushing around in a general hullabaloo, moving all their projects into adjacent, smaller rooms.
Res walked towards them. "Great, Clear Sight. I've been thinking, and why do we still need to drag Illesio into this?" he gestured at her.
"Because it lets a less experienced main character gradually introduce the audience into the backstory and lore of our current story, and also other reasons, so shut up about it," Clear Sight said, brushing past Res and fiddling with a machine behind him.
"No, heck you, why do you always have to make this about theater? You shut the hell up." Res scowled and stalked away through the hubbub.
Clear Sight turned to Illesio and smiled warmly. "He just thinks I'm trying to hook him up with you, he gets mad about that stuff."
"Are you?" Illesio eyed him warily.
"Absolutely, no doubt about it." He winked. "Thank me later."
And went back to his work.
Res eventually walked back over, having calmed down, and said, "Well, since you're here, you might as well help around. We've got to figure out what is up with Everypony Equestria Round, and whether they're influenced by magic, which by now is the best-case scenario, or just really sociopathic, which means we're extremely screwed."
"So," he continued, "Before the Bearers get here, we've got to clear the room and set up some divining functions. You know anything on the subject?"
Illesio nodded. "One of my assignments had to do with the, ah, authenticity of a...certain spell," she blushed, "I had to learn advanced divination for that project. But I bet this is going to be master-class level, isn't it?" she guessed.
Res looked slightly impressed. "Good, you do. As for the skill level, you're mostly correct. Yes, it is master class, but we use enchanted technology for our most complex divination spells, so really, only a basic knowledge of the needed magic is required." He raised an eyebrow. "Is it alright if I put you in charge of the divination group?"
"Uhh, sure, why not?" replied Illesio.
Res sighed, "Great. Go see Doc about what to do. Next on the list..." he walked quickly away, consulting a piece of paper.
Coranto stood for just a second while her brain yelled at itself.
WHOA DID YOU SEE THAT! You played it so cool with him! He's impressed, good job!
But he's way out of my league, and not even remotely interested in any mare he's ever seen, what chance do I stand?
No way!! You got a chance, don't say that! Just play it cool, keep it up, and one day you--
She snapped back to reality when she realized Doc was waving a hoof in front of her face.
"So sorry to bother you, but I was wondering, if you are quite alright?" he asked. "You seemed a little, well, confuddled at the moment."
Illesio shook her head. "No worries, I was just, just thinking to myself, that's all. Also, apparently I'm in charge of the divination team?"
Doc clapped his hooves together. "Ah, smashing! Perfect timing. I'd been over my ears in work, but with a little explanation, you'll do a bang-up job, mark my words."
He quickly began explaining how the divination technology functioned, which Illesio jotted down in shorthoof in her notes. Afterward, he introduced her to the Divination team, a group of one each of unicorn, pegasus, and earth pony.
"Everyone, this is Illesio," Doc said to the group, "Illesio, this is Crystal Mirror, Quick Quill, and Pinkie Pie." He then disappeared into the crowd, yelling a rushed "Sorry, but I've got a busy schedule!"
Illesio did a double take at the pink earth pony. "Pinkie Pie? Since when did you work for ALPHA? Don't you have a job at Sugarcube Corner in Ponyville?"
"Yep," Pinkie replied, "and since half an hour ago. I woke up feeling all funny and woozy," she punctuated these words with a kind of sadistic choreography, "and looked at the calendar and it said Monday instead of Saturday! How weird, right?"
She kept talking faster, with no sign of stopping.
"So I thought to myself, 'why in Equestria would the calendar be wrong?' Then I though maybe the calendar was right and I was wrong, and I went to see the only ponies I knew that would help me out, which were the ponies here at ALPHA, but by the time I got here, everyone was in such a biiig hurry to do something that I felt I just had to help them out! So they put me on this team, with Cryssie and Quickie," Illesio choked, "and now you! That just happened just now, actually!"
Crystal Mirror raised an eyebrow. "Turns out she's quite knowledgeable in our field. Who would have guessed?"
Quick Quill shivered, and whispered, "Why are her bones not broken? Bones don't do that...Brrrr..."
Illesio shrugged. "Not the strangest thing I've seen the last few days..."
--<>-------Meanwhile, at the same moment,-------<>--/
Clear Sight suddenly raised his head and swore.
"What?" said Res.
Clear Sight responded, "Two things. Doc?"
Doc appeared. "Yes?"
"Stop pronouncing it WRONG, Doc. S-C-H-E-D-U-L-E. I don't care what accent you have, as long as you pronounce some specific words correctly."
Doc nodded, quickly disappearing again.
"OK, so what's the other thing?" Res asked.
Clear Sight cleared his throat. "When the memory wiped days go on, these ponies do the same things over and over. But since it's not a time loop, things done in previous days, ones they can't remember, stay done." He looked terrified. "How do they not notice, like, lets say Mrs. Cake baked a cake, the next morning a cake she never remembered making would be on her counter. How, how, does this not change how the day progresses??" He put his head in his hooves. "Nothing makes any sense anymore, Res, I can't deal with it."
Res gave a sarcastic smile. "If there's anypony who can deal with nonsense, you're the one, Clear Sight. Now stop having an existential crisis and give me time to have one instead."
"Ok, fine." Clear Sight jumped up and grinned, and proceeded to console the now hysterical Res.
"I still don't get it though," he said.
--<>-------Exeunt.-------<>--/
Author's Note
Oh better far to live and die / under the brave black flag I fly / than play a sanctimonious part / with no propensity for the arts
The absolutely serious explanation for the last logic problem?
3 hrs
Cheers from the redneckiest nerd you'll probably never see,
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Monday 3: The More You Know: Plot Holes Are Actually A Real Canon Explanation
The divination team was running a series of tests on the Dowsing Circuit v.Mg to discern any background residual spells that may have had something to do with Everypony Equestria Round. So far, they hadn't detected anything, and Illesio was getting discouraged.
There's no way there could be any spells affecting them, she thought, the data adds up.
"Well, there could be an encryption on a spell," said Clear Sight, who had just appeared, "so we should probably check that too."
He took the Klaspmente out of an invisible, and most likely nonexistent, box next to him, and pressed a button on its handle. It folded up elegantly into a small slab of metal which he then slotted into a gap in the Dowsing Circuit.
Illesio watched in some interest as Clear Sight sat down, put his head in his hooves, and began muttering to himself too quietly to make out.
Quick Quill hovered over, and whispered, "He does this sometimes, it kinda freaks me out to be honest."
"Why, what's he doing?" asked Illesio.
"Oh, just mentally connecting himself to the machine and manually scanning Equestria for encrypted spell remnants. That's all."
They watched in silence.
Clear Sight stopped muttering to frown. He spoke up. "Hey...Crystal?"
"Yes?" answered Crystal Mirror, who had just walked over anyway.
"Calibrate the Circuit to extraneous frequency spectrum setting 42." Clear Sight looked like he was trying to remember something, or hold on to a thought that's nearly slipping away...hmmm.
Crystal turned a dial a few clicks, and Clear Sight immediately gave a triumphant shout. "AHA! Not at all what we were looking for, but there's something there!"
He hopped up and turned to face them. "There's some extremely specific eddies, not in magic, but in spacetime, that look far too planned to be anything but. Looks like we have a third party after all!"
Illesio sighed. "Whew, I had almost given up on the moral steadiness of ponykind."
"Yeah, well, let me have a closer look," Clear Sight replied, and returned to concentration.
Pinkie chose that moment to reappear. "Hey guys! Anything interesting happen while I was gone?"
"Um, yes, actually," replied Illesio.
"Good! Because if you found something, that means I gotta get back to Sugarcube Corner, a pretty big order came in this morning. See ya!"
She blinked out of eyesight almost too fast for the eye to follow.
Clear Sight picked up his head again. "She's more of a nutcase than me, and I respect that. But Celestia, if she's not nosy. She's got creepily extensive records of everyone in Ponyville, and one day decided to extend that to ALPHA as a present. That took me three weeks nonstop to erase."
He got to his feet. "Nonetheless, good news. We now know what keeps things happening the same every time, but we got nothing on Everypony. Nothing seems to click."
"That's strange," said Illesio, "I was sure something was up..."
Clear Sight shook his head. "But I've tried every imaginable frequency, and nothing shows up, nothing...It's like something has been wiped from the face of the earth, but you can't even remember what...remember..."
He looked at Illesio. "What are you thinking?"
Illesio had a look of revelation on her face. "Try using the frequency of the Memory Fragment, its magic probably doesn't even fit on the spectrum at all."
Clear Sight stared.
"Now I'm mad I didn't think of that, that is genius," he said, and turning to the Dowsing Circuit, started taking it apart, looking at his necklace, fiddling with wires, and putting everything back into place.
The minute he did so, he gasped.
"No shiz," he said. "You were right."
On the magically constructed display screen, a flat line showed what the frequency should be...but high above it, a jagged red line moved slowly across the screen.
"No shiz," he said. "Looks like the Memory Fragment isn't the only Fragment, either."
He began a frenzy of observation around the Circuit, and finally walked over to the group. "Full report. First, the subject on reiteration similarity. Things are happening the same each memory wipe because of a disturbingly organized series of holes in space and time that set things to how they were the previous day. How, or why, this happens, is a mystery to me, and to be frank, it gives my stomach the butterfly effect."
"Second. Everypony Equestria Round is being controlled after all, but this is much more scary than I thought at first. Someone else with a Fragment is literally suggestively altering their psyches, to the effect of a run on our facilities every day we keep the memory wipes up. This Fragment seems to be focused on mind control, so I've dubbed it the Control Fragment." He ran his hooves through his hair. "That means we are extremely lucky the Memory Fragment can erase memories, because without that, our facility would already be a smoldering crater a mile wide and a few years in either direction long."
Everypony nearby had already stopped in shock.
There was a long pause as the full weight of the situation fell on their shoulders.
"But then, how does this Control Fragment not affect us?" asked Crystal Mirror.
"There's a extra-wavelength shield that protects the ALPHA building." Clear Sight answered. "I installed it myself, with a specific guard that I forgot I added to only allow one specific magic artifact, the Memory Fragment, to function through it. Basic magic works well enough, but anything too weird is out of commission inside."
He looked at Illesio with an expression that she wasn't able to place. "Now, I've got to go tell Res and the Bearers."
--<>-------Meanwhile at the other end of the room,-------<>--/
"Ok, when Clear Sight gets here, we'll have a clear picture of the situation," Res said. "Hopefully a new lead will come up."
"Perfect," replied Star Swirl, "Then we will be happy to help in any way we can."
Clear Sight walked out of thin air like it was a door, slamming it while he put away the Klaspmente and spoke to Res: "Good news Res, we know what's up. Bad news, it's really bad."
He quickly explained to everypony what exactly he had found out.
"To be honest," he concluded, "The thing that bothers me the most is the space-time holes. It just seems too convenient."
Res nodded. "I agree. There's a certain level of improbability, impossibility about it, that just makes it seem strange."
"Although," he added, "The less likely something is going to happen, the more probable it is that it will... Million to one chance? Improbable certainty, really I'm not surprised. Besides, this clears up our logic crisis."
"Well, I guess," Clear Sight responded. "But I just think it sounds too complicated and over the top, it doesn't have any good explanations, and it's freaking weird how all this turns up at the same time to resolve some existing problems and present us with new ones."
"Right now?" he continued, "We've got to figure out who has the Control Fragment and neutralize them before the Memory Fragment tears the world apart."
Res shrugged. "Well, I agree, it does sound over the top..."
--<>-------Reference Defence Association-------<>--/
Author's Note
Fun fact!
The Klaspmente was named after a failed prototype that instead of directing electrical signal to and from a small chip in the brain, rather physically fused with the brain as if one were a real unicorn. Clear Sight tried this, and after it failed spectacularly and rather morbidly, barely survived. He still has a scar, hidden by his hair.
---back to reality
See? Plot holes. What did I tell you?
Cheers cheerfully played on the theremin,
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Monday 4: The Word Plot Keeps Cropping Up Recently But I Don't Think Intentionally
"So."
Clear Sight and Res stood in the center of a group of ponies. Anypony that wasn't cleared enough was sent to work on observations from the adjoining rooms, and so the group now was comprised of Illesio, Doc, Crystal Mirror, Quick Quill, Star Swirl and the Bearers, and Deep Thought and Clear Thought, who had just been called in. Fourteen ponies in total, only fourteen to figure this outlandish situation out.
"We know the source of the unusual actions of Everypony Equestria Round now, the Control Fragment," said Res. "But..."
"We don't know where it is just yet." Clear Sight spoke up. "I'm working on it."
Res spoke again. "That's why I want Doc, Clear Thought, Starswirl and anyone of his that can help to, while we do this, figure out the source of our other problems, the--"
"Plot holes," finished Clear Sight.
"Not actually a bad name," responded Res thoughtfully. "We've got the Dowsing Circuit loaded up with the data, we need you to figure out where the source is, whether it's in Equestria or even out of our timeline. Do not do anything to it, it's what's keeping us in the clear right now," he emphasized.
Clear Sight raised his hoof. "Meanwhile, we need Deep Thought, Crystal Mirror, and any other Bearers to help us with the Control Fragment location managing. Illesio and Quick Quill, we need you as temporary scribes." He gestured to each of them. "Illesio...you go to our group, and Quick Quill, you go to Doc's group."
"Meanwhile," Res continued as the group separated itself, "The Memory Fragment can't handle the overuse it's getting. Some rough calculations give us until Saturday to stop the pony in control of the Control Fragment. In short, we have no time to lose."
Res leveled a serious look at every individual there. "We need your absolute cooperation and dedication to complete this task. Now let's go."
Doc's group walked off in the direction of the Dowsing Circuit, while Illesio, Somnambula, Flash Magnus, Meadowbrook, and the others followed Clear Sight and Res towards the back of the room.
Clear Sight leaned over and quietly spoke to Illesio. "Remember that summoning circle from the original Saturday? Well, one of the only things that those plot holes didn't touch was this building. We still have the materials that were delivered then, so we've been able to continue work on our most secret project."
They entered a section of the room blocked off by a thick lead dome, first having to go through a door with two simultaneous twenty-four digit passcodes that Res and Clear Sight tapped off like a Liszt piece.
When they were through multiple levels of security, door upon door and wall upon wall, anti-magic charms and teleportation bafflers, time dilation refusal units and retcon safeguards, and even a few dreamcatchers for good measure, they finally found the door to the central chamber.
Clear Sight checked a screen to the side. "Huh...one of the retcon safeguards is out...lemme check."
He tapped the screen a couple times. "Nope, nothing big. Just a rewrite." He turned back to the door.
Inside this heavily guarded and extravagantly locked door, if Clear Sight and Res were correct, was the central piece of their technology--a machine so important they had come back from the future to give themselves the idea...
Before Res and Clear Sight opened the door, Illesio gave a shout of realization.
"Aha! I get it!"
Everypony turned her way. "What is it?" asked Res.
Illesio turned to Clear Sight. "You can't remember if you came back from the future to give yourself the idea? Isn't that just a confirmation that you did? I mean, you have the Memory Fragment. It would be the obvious thing to do!"
Res said, "You continue to surprise me, Illesio."
Clear Sight said, "That's the second time today."
The two of them then used their magic, Clear Sight from the Klaspmente, on the vault door, which released its few hundred locks, spun around and slowly slid to the side.
Inside the strangely large room, on an ornately carved mahogany and bronze pedestal, was a watch.
A wristwatch.
Of course, it wasn't just a wristwatch, because Res caught sight of it and said, "Ah, here we are. The Six-Coordinate Modulus."
He walked over and strapped it onto his forehoof, before coming back and showing it to all of them.
Illesio looked closer and found there were some differences between it and her first impression of a wristwatch, for instance the fact that no clock appeared on its metal face, but rather a delicately embossed emblem. Res pushed a button and this face flipped out to either side, revealing the inner mechanism.
Beneath a protective slice of glass, a geometrically perfect, multi-layered, exceedingly complex maze of wires wrapped around a small gem glowing with all the colors of the rainbow. Tiny machines crowded the rest of the available space, making a small, faintly harmonic humming. As they watched, a green tinted hologram appeared above the machine, depicting a small ring separated into 360 degrees.
"The SCM is a very strange and complex machine, but due to the shipments from Bitaly we received last week, we've been able to incorporate fully five out of the six circuits needed for complete operation," Res said proudly. "However, as I said to Illesio a few days ago, it is already the most technologically and magically advanced machine in existence. The reason why is that not only can it traverse and monitor all three dimensions of space, but..."
He paused for dramatic effect.
"...Well, potentially two of time, as well. We're still working on it."
Somnambula balked. "But time, as Star Swirl is fond to say, is the fourth dimension...and the fourth only, how does the fifth come in?"
Clear Sight sighed. "Look, this is really complicated and I hate having to explain this, but we're not going to get anywhere like this..." He sat down.
"There are three dimensions of time, just like there are three dimensions of space. Just like space has X, Y, and Z, time has forward/backward, around, and sideways." He gestured to the hologram floating above Res's wrist. "Forward/backward is easy: that's time travel, but around and sideways are two ways of getting to alternate timelines, universes. There, that's the short version, and all you'll really need to know."
Everypony stared. "My," said Meadowbrook. "That's incredible. Too incredible, perhaps. I could imagine those who would kill to own this much power."
Flash Magnus, who was quite conspicuously wearing a red tuxedo, said, "Yeah...Anybody with this amount of power could shape not just the entire world to their whim...but all entire worlds."
Somnambula turned to Clear Sight, and asked, "Why have you let us in here? We are strangers, you don't know us, how could you just trust us like that?"
Clear Sight raised his eyebrow. "Anybody who embodies the Elements of Harmony can't be that bad, can they?"
Illesio, who was just next to him, whispered, "That can't be your real reason."
"Of course not," whispered Clear Sight out of the corner of his mouth.
"Alright," said Res, now fiddling with the hologram and moving its images around. "The SCM will help us in locating the Control Fragment."
"I was just about to ask," said Meadowbrook.
Clear Sight spoke up, "Because this can monitor all of Equestria as of now, all we do is plug in some small magic examples from the Memory Fragment and let it scan around for similar impulses."
He pulled his necklace out from under his shirt and held it up to the SCM.
Again, Illesio was reminded of something by its shape and color...what was it?
Something flickered in the back of her thoughts.
Clear Sight looked in surprise at the Memory Fragment. "What now?"
She made a mental note to check on it later.
--<>-------Ooh, cliffhanger-ish-------<>--/
Author's Note
when you have to use a dictionary when writing a my little pony fanfiction
whoa there's a lot going on here. SCIENCE STRIKES AGAIN
Tuesday is where it starts
Cheers and good tidings of cheer
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Applicable Literature & Psychiatric Help Agency
Monday 5: What The Heck Is Clear Sight Up To, I Mean He Obviously Has Ulterior Purposes For Everything
"Holy cow...There's a bunch of them," said Clear Sight.
"A bunch of what?" asked everyone else.
"What else? Fragments."
The hologram showed a complete, miniature map of Equestria and the surrounding lands.
Scattered across it were five colored dots: green, red, purple, orange, and white.
Illesio looked in disbelief. "No way there are five Fragments."
"Well, I guess we'd better believe it," replied Res. He zoomed in on each one in turn to discover their whereabouts.
Green was obvious: Mind Fragment in the Everfree Forest, particularly the ALPHA head offices.
Red was probably the Control Fragment, which was located directly in Canterlot...most likely a bad sign.
Purple was out in the wilderness near Neighagra Falls, to which Clear Sight added, "That's where I grew up!"
Orange was deep in the Badlands far to the south of Equestria.
White was in the north of the Griffonlands, which seemed a little suprising.
Clear Sight studied the map, and then spoke again. "Alright, so there's a load of them. The Control Fragment is the only one that really matters now, so we've got a few hours left before Pony Yuga. Do the honors, Res?"
Res nodded. "But first, do any of you have any idea how to stop this pony from controlling us?"
Nobody said anything, so Res continued. "In that case, Clear Sight should stay behind and use the Memory Fragment at the appropriate time if we can't do anything. Everyone ready for a graceful failure?"
Deep Thought shrugged. "Not like I have a choice."
Crystal Mirror cricked her neck. "I need to get out more anyway."
Meadowbrook nodded. "I'll do anything to stop that evil pony."
Flash Magnus stretched his muscles. "No way I'm giving up on this now."
Somnambula flexed her wings. "We will give our best."
Illesio scratched her head. "How, exactly, can I help?"
"Great!" Res flicked the hologram and selected a few parameters. "We're off, then."
A portal appeared, silently menacing, and one by one they all leapt through, cheered on by Clear Sight.
Illesio thought to herself as she took a running jump, Wow, this is surreal.
They were now in Canterlot, particularly the Sculpture Gardens. There was nopony around.
So they walked quietly around, Res constantly checking the SCM for the location of the Control Fragment. "There, just behind that empty pedestal," he said.
They peeked around.
A slender, purple-blue mare with a pale green mane highlighted with faint red sat there reading a book.
Res gasped. "Evening Aurora?"
Evening Aurora looked up. "Hmm? Oh, hello Res! I haven't seen you in ages! You must have got that invitation late, I see."
Res looked baffled.
Illesio had a sneaking suspicion she knew what was going on...
And Aurora had a red octahedral gemstone around her neck.
--<>-------A character introduced in Saturday 2, huh-------<>--/
Meanwhile, back at the ALPHA head office, Doc, Clear Thought, Star Swirl, Quick Quill, Mistmane, and Rockhoof were all gathered around the Dowsing Circuit and the RIT.
"So this machine can locate the source of these holes in reality?" asked Rockhoof.
"Precisely," Doc said. "We already know where all the anomalous places are, the result of the input that set them all off. All we have to do is to trace the traces of these anomalies to their origin."
He fiddled around with the Circuit for a while. "Rockhoof, can you bring the RIT over here?"
Rockhoof hefted the monolithic slab easily, setting it down--very gently--next to Doc.
Clear Thought then ran some wires between the two of them, setting up a scanning function. "The RIT is actually a less advanced version of a more powerful technology that Clear Sight and Res's group are using currently," she said. "It can map out a graphical representation of space and time in the local area, which is why we're combining its power with the Circuit."
"We might need your help once we figure out exactly where it is, Star Swirl," said Doc. "What with your knowledge of time magic."
They ran the scanning function.
It took a while, the silence of the machines rather unsettling. One would think a device of that power would make a humming or something, but no.
After a while, results appeared on the screen of the Circuit. A few lines intersected at a solid dot, six coordinates of which were shown above.
Doc clapped his hooves. "We're in luck! The source is in the same universe as us, which gives us the opportunity to actually do something about it, and...looks like...Oh, located in the Crystal Empire, the library more specifically."
Star Swirl stroked his beard. "The Crystal Empire survived all these years? It must be the oldest empire in Equestria by now."
Quick Quill hovered over and said, "Well, there was this whole big deal about it getting trapped in limbo just like you guys, so really not that old yet."
"They got trapped in limbo too? How?" asked Mistmane, and she, Quick Quill, and Rockhoof got into a discussion on the possible causes for this turn of events.
"What I'm more interested about," said Clear Thought, "is why the Crystal Empire is where the source is located...whatever, or whoever there effects all of Equestria, they could have chosen anywhere."
Doc frowned. "The Crystal Empire...well, it's been said that it holds ancient artifacts of strange power...I heard something about a mirror given to Princess Twilight Sparkle as a gift, but only rumors of a terrible ability...to summon monsters that could defy the laws of proportion and gravity...hmm."
"Well," he snapped out of his reverie, "It's worth a shot. Let's go, we've only got a few more hours before the End of Equestria."
He, Clear Thought, and Star Swirl looked at the group still talking animatedly. Mistmane, Quick Quill, and Rockhoof seemed to be having a wonderful conversation and were completely oblivious to any outside input.
Star Swirl chuckled. "Let us leave them to it. We will investigate on their behalf as well."
Doc showed him a map, and after a quick study, Star Swirl teleported the three of them in a flash of light.
Clear Sight casually came walking in, past the group still talking, and looked around.
"Hey," he called. "Stygian, did they forget about you again?"
A pause.
"...No, I asked not to get involved...how did you know I was here?"
"I know everything," replied Clear Sight sarcastically. "Now come down from there, you look hungry. Bitalian?"
--<>-------Return of the Running Gag-------<>--/
Doc, Star Swirl, and Clear Thought materialized just outside the door to the Crystal Empire Library. Doc pulled a small slab from his pocket and consulted it. "It appears that our source is inside..."
They entered, the ornately carved purple doors swinging open soundlessly. Ponies walked quietly by, all either reading or carrying books. Shelves upon shelves towered above them, and small signs told what sections each aisle contained.
"Our source," Doc continued, raising an eyebrow, "is in the, the Ippariopology section. Interesting."
They walked along, Doc and Star Swirl stopping every few rows to peruse the selection, Clear Thought having to be true to her name and pull them back to the task at hand.
"My! Star Swirl, come look at this!" Doc whispered from a corridor.
They followed him. Rounding the corner, they came upon a row of books so old that the lights were dimmed to prevent them being damaged. "Ah," said Clear Thought. "The Star Swirl the Bearded section."
Star Swirl looked around. "I remember writing these books...it feels like only last week I penned a dissertation..." he picked up a book and flipped through its pages. "Ha! No wonder. Temporally, I did write this one last week. The last scientific paper I wrote before facing the Pony of Shadows."
Doc looked impressed.
But as ponies in the row were giving them strange looks, Clear Thought cleared her throat and pulled them away.
"We got a source to observe, you know," she whispered tiredly. "So stop getting distracted."
They finally reached their section, Ippariopology, or the study of ponies, pony behavior, and societies in the past and present. There was also a Grypaetopology section and a Zevrapology section, although these were both underdeveloped fields.
"Alright, whatever you do," reminded Clear Thought, "Don't do anything to draw what or who's attention. We want these plot holes to continue and cover up the Memory Fragment stuff."
Doc and Star Swirl nodded, and did their best to act casual--as casual as you can be in a flowing blue robe with bells sewed on it.
They rounded the corner.
There, in the center of the aisle, slumped against a bookshelf and staring at the ceiling muttering to himself, was Clear Sight.
He immediately looked their way. "Oh...hey you guys," he said. "Sorry to bother you."
Doc looked in astonishment. "But, but Clear Sight? You were the source of the holes?"
"Yeah dummy," was the reply. "But use your brain for a second. Since I'm the source of holes in reality, don't you think, I dunno, that I'm not the same Clear Sight you know, but one from a different reality? Sheesh, you should have taken that into account. Oh hey Star Swirl," he turned his head. "Do these guys work for me here? Might explain their...interesting expressions." He chuckled.
Star Swirl looked from Clear Sight...Clear Sight 2 to Doc and Clear Thought. "Yes...although I think you might explain yourself."
"Oh, well I've been contracted to clean up this situation. This universe's ponies are critical to the survival of the multiverse as a whole, we wouldn't want some lazy writing to get in the way of a good plot now, would we?"
He leaned back. They noticed his lack of sunglasses for the first time.
"Ehhh, that sounds like a ripoff of this one cartoon show everybody where I come from won't shut the hell up about...it's about this one guy with no morals and every multiverse version of him comes together and makes a city where they all live...pretty dumb, I wish they'd stop making a huge deal out of it."
Clear Sight shook her head and came out of her shock. "They have something like that in comic form here, I think I skimmed an issue in the Canterlot House of Magic Comics."
"Ugh, really?" Clear Sight frowned. "Hopefully it's not as bad as the one back home..."
--<>-------For the record, I had this idea way before Rick & Morty-------<>--/
Author's Note
Hey hey hey, how will I get out of this hole I've dug for myself.
My notepad file of loose ends is massive, but I think I have a way to fix it real soon
Cheers,
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Monday 6: Adding A Few More Dimensions To The Story, Both Literally And Metaphorically
"Ok, when I put it that way, it seems pretty strange," said Clear Sight. "But you seem to be taking it rather well."
Jumping up from the floor, he turned to his three visitors. "Why aren't you, you know, shocked at my appearance as an alternate universe form of your boss?"
Clear Thought shrugged. "Maybe because it's one of the oldest ideas in science fiction? Because we've known about the existence of other universes for years and have been researching how they interact with each other for almost as long? We have the SCM, too."
"Oh yeah," said Clear Sight, raising his arm. "I've got one of those, but us employees only get four coordinates."
Doc nodded in appreciation. "And add that to the fact that this really isn't the strangest thing we've seen so far, I remember the time when Clear Sight fought a duel with a princess of a foreign land, I think it was Prance? Bitaly? Nonetheless, that was the most complicated piece of psychological warfare this world has ever seen." He chuckled. "Did wonders for advertising, too."
Clear Thought spoke up. "Not to mention Res's mastery of loophole magic, what a weird field."
"Well," added Star Swirl, "I have been sending monsters to other worlds for a good portion of my career, the confirmation of established fact has no great effect on me."
Clear Sight looked around and shrugged. "Ehh, good enough for me." After getting up, he extended his hoof to each of them in turn. "Let me properly introduce myself. My name is, funnily enough, Sharp Vision, and I am an employee of the Multiverse Protection Committee. Now," he scratched the back of his head, "you may ask me what exactly I'm doing here. The precise reason is to help this universe through a particularly dubious set of circumstances known by you as the Memory Loop."
Noticing that Clear Thought raised an eyebrow, he explained, "Yeah, the Memory Loop never would have worked everyone would already be dead if I hadn't been resetting things, as it were, every time Clear Sight here used his Fragment. Luckily, that's where my higher-ups come in."
"Higher-ups?" asked Doc.
"The ones with clearance to use the full six coordinates in the SCM. Essentially time travelers as well as multiverse hoppers, cool stuff. But freaking bonkers, if it doesn't make things complicated."
"Wait for a minute. Are you telling us," interjected Star Swirl, "that our personal welfare plays a critical part in the functioning of the multiverse as a whole?"
"Sure seems that way," replied Sharp Vision, "I don't know much about it, sorry. But..."
He looked at his watch. "Yep, just as I thought. Nice chatting with you, but I really gotta be going, or I'm going to miss my bus. Bye guys," he walked away for a and hey, are y'all listening?"
They all nodded.
"Don't speak a word about this to anyone, and actually...now come to think about it..."
He took some small green gemstones from a bag at his side. "Here... let me program these." Concentrating for a second, he then gave each of them one. "Now trust me," he said, "I want to to slam these directly into your forehead. Don't worry about it, just do it for the safety of yourself and your friends, no joke."
There was a moment of incredulous silence.
"I think he might actually be serious," whispered Clear Thought.
"He acts the exact same as Clear Sight," whispered Doc, "I'm pretty sure he's not from an alternate universe, just setting us up for a joke."
"I am quite uncomfortable," whispered Star Swirl. "My brain is only of use to anyone when it is not in several pieces."
"Well," said Sharp Vision, "at least heavily consider it. I've already broken protocol telling you about this, and I'm not about to wipe your memories, that's freaking expensive, I mean whoof, I don't have the budget for that."
"Anyway, see you!" He took a running dash straight at the wall, and just before he arrived, a portal appeared.
As he dived through, the three of them got a good look at what was through the mystical door.
A good enough look.
"Yeah, nope, he's definitely right," said Clear Thought.
Nodding in silent astonished agreement, Star Swirl and Doc both joined her in slamming the gemstones directly into their foreheads.
As soon as the gemstones touched their coats, they flashed brightly and disappeared. No other change took place.
Doc sighed. "Well, count me wrong. It wasn't just Clear Sight pranking us."
--<>-------Speaking of...-------<>--/
Clear Sight settled down from his plate of parozzo and took a sip of his coffee. "Coffee in Italy is a strange drink," he explained, "as the coffee itself is not the main reason for drinking it. Rather, the coffee is merely a warm, caffeine infused receptacle for sugar."
He set his cup back down on the table. "I once saw a man in Romare order a cup of coffee and empty twenty sugar packets into it, every day at the same time for the entire week I was there. Crazy people, those Bitalians."
He shook his hoof. "But, I will say, they make the best candy. There's this, this chocolate, about the size of a bite-sized Whickers bar, made out of dark chocolate and filled with liquid espresso. They call it Pocket Coffees, how amazing is that?"
"That sounds...really impressive," replied Stygian, who hadn't yet touched his parozzo. "I could see that being a useful tool on long office days, too."
"Exactly!" Clear Sight threw his arms around in passion. "But I haven't found a supplier who exports them! I've been trying to work out a series of side companies to do it for the last three years, but it got too expensive, and I had to shut it down. And you can't even make them yourself, they've got this trade secret that really makes it good and for the LIFE of me," he put his head in his hooves, "I haven't been able to find out a way to replicate it. I'll just have to find an excuse to go back to Bitaly for a business trip. Maybe Sand Dune could finagle something out, we're on good terms..."
Stygian patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, I am quite sure you'll figure something out."
He sat back down and finally took a bite of his snack cake. His eyes widened.
Clear Sight continued. "Thanks, Stygian. I guess I'm just getting worked up about the small details... I guess that's why I have Res to help me out. He's a big picture kinda guy, I guess he keeps me on track most of the time."
He looked back to Stygian, whose entire plate was completely clean.
Clear Sight chuckled, but was interrupted by a ringing noise from the wall.
Picking up the phone, he said "Hey, this is ALPHA, what is you---"
"HEY, UH, CLEAR SIGHT?" Res called from the other side of the phone amidst screams and explosions. "DO YOU MIND MEMORY LOOPING A BIT EARLY TODAY?"
Clear Sight raised his eyebrows. "Shiz, man, what's going on?"
"NO TIME," a loud explosion occurred.
From the other end of the phone could be barely heard, "Lost in the mail? LOST IN THE MAIL? THAT IS THE LAST TIME I EVER--" the rest was drowned out by another explosion.
"SH**!" yelled Res. "JUST DO IT! PLEASE!"
"Alright, alright," said Clear Sight, fiddling with his necklace. "Just let me see if I've got the list straight."
He counted in his head for a few seconds and then started the Fragment.
"Geez, I wonder what all that was about," he said. "We'll have to hear about that tomorrow."
"Oh, and Stygian?" he added.
Stygian turned his head.
"How about potato dumplings next time?"
"I...I'd be delighted," smiled Stygian.
And the world turned to light.
Author's Note
hey all, this is the first chance I got to write
holy cow though I have a lot of good ideas for where to go with this.
longer chapters once the Memory Week is finished
Cheers back from the dead,
Applicable Literature & Psychiatric Help Agency
Tuesday 2: Take A Step Back, Georges Seurat
The alarm clock buzzed.
Aurora groaned and sat upright in bed, glancing at the clock. It was Tuesday.
The days sure seem to fly by this time of year, she thought. but bonker my headache, ow.
Unbeknownst to her but similarly knownst to any outside observer, she had said the same thing three times before already, and was slowly working herself, completely obliviously, into a rut.
So for the fourth time that week, she stepped out of bed, dressed, ate breakfast, and moved to her study and her latest project...something she'd been working on for ages and so impressive that it might just change society forever.
Of course, she reasoned, it must also be completely secret...if others had this power, they might use it in unwise ways...
She flipped through her notes. I've got the semantics down pat, but the base magic is missing something...something that could rewrite the strands of reality just so-- she scribbled a few lines. No, no, that'd never work.
Sitting back, she thought to herself what a difficult practice the creation of magic is. The more complicated spells involved words, that was true, but also require intense concentration to twist, caress the magic carefully into the proper shape, as it were.
It's like trying to fold a real, living breathing crane out of origami paper, she sighed. Perhaps it's just too difficult, maybe I should cancel the meeting.
She continued her note taking, absentmindedly clasping at her necklace.
--<>-------Meanwhile, our regularly scheduled program-------<>--/
The alarm clock buzzed.
Illesio groaned and sat upright in bed, glancing at the clock. It was Sunday.
What the hell happened yesterday? I can't remember a thing.
She cursed as her head caught up to her mind. Got the worst hangover, too. Must've been out too late again.
She rolled out of bed and shrieked as she promptly fell through the floor.
"Sorry," said Clear Sight, "but we've got a situation on our hands."
In a few moments, she found herself back in the ALPHA Technology Center, with her memories quickly resurfacing.
"Sweet Celestia," she said, rubbing her eyes. "I always forget how disorienting starting the new day is, could you at least try and soften the mental blow?"
Clear Sight handed her a glass of coconut water.
"Alright then, guess you're well prepared," she replied. "Yeah, we've got a situation on our hands. We know who has the Control Fragment and nearly why she's using it. Evening Aurora."
Walking up towards them, Res nodded. "Yep, Evening Aurora's behind this. She must have got the Fragment pretty recently, because I don't remember her wearing it last time I saw her...when was that? Geez, I can't remember."
"Wasn't it at that magic convention last year?" Clear Sight said. "Arcanacon?"
Res tapped his forehead. "Yeah, that's it. I remember now, because we were talking about how good of a name that was. Anyway, she sent me a letter that was lost in the mail, I don't know what it's about, but she had arranged to meet me this afternoon to talk about something, again, I don't know, and when I didn't know, she had a total mental breakdown, like WHOOF." He gestured widely. "Literally and figuratively. Insane."
Illesio shivered. "She started to use her mind control powers on the rest of us, which was the wierdest thing, although she seemed too mad at Res to...to either be able to or want to control him. She didn't seem like she knew what she was doing," she frowned, "which was the strangest part about it."
"And that's when I called you," concluded Res. "That's the extent of what we know. What do you think?"
Clear Sight put his head in his hooves. In a few minutes, he raised his head. "This is so fricking complicated. What the actual hell is going on here? So we've got four days, four shots left before the collapse of the universe, and not only do we have to deal with increasingly improbable twisting of reality, but a mentally unstable mare with mind control powers who can call upon, perfectly unknowingly, literally everyone in the nation on our backs with the vengeance of the most unstoppable force in the world: an angry woman. Add to that that something definitely is off with Clear Thought, Doc, and Star Swirl, and we have a recipe for the best loser lasagna ever created. Great." He put his head down again.
"Well, nothing for it," he sighed, getting up. "I think the best term of order for today is to just go with the flow. I'll see if I can track the letter, and you go meet her at the appointed time, which to be safe," he gestured to Res, "should be about an hour early, I'd say about one thirty."
Res nodded. "Just what I was thinking. We should see what her motivations are and see if she really knows what the Fragment can do. Who should I take this time?" He looked uncertainly at Illesio. "If what I remember about her is correct, you probably...shouldn't come, Illesio."
After seeming to think for a minute, Clear Sight frowned. "No...I've got an idea. Take her and nobody else. This might just work," he muttered to himself.
Res looked at him imploringly, but Clear Sight waved him off. "No, trust me on this. Now go plan out something, I've got to meet with the Bearers, sort out what's up with our plot hole investigation committee, find that lost letter, and I've got a lunch appointment with the Dark One to keep. I wish I could come with you guys, but I'd hate to see what could happen when the Memory Fragment's mind controlled. Catch ya later."
He walked briskly from the room, and Res gave Illesio a look of exasperation.
"Is this," Illesio said, "another one of his subtle plots to hook us up?"
"No, and that's why I'm worried," replied Res.
"Actually," said Clear Sight, popping his head out from around the corner, "I didn't mean Dark One in that way, whoops. I just meant Stygian, his name is literally 'very dark,' just wanted to make sure you weren't confused. I'm not into that kind of magic. Sorry," he disappeared again.
"Honestly," said Res, "I wonder why I don't worry more."
--<>-------Not necessarily at the same moment,-------<>--/
Another broken quill fell onto the floor.
Why does nothing work? thought Evening Aurora to herself, her head laid despondently upon the desk. I can feel that I'm so close, it's just one step away...
She toyed with another quill and then snapped it, throwing it down with the other quills that met the same fate. Why, why can't I think of anything?
She had tried hundreds of different theories, each one more desperate than the last, on how to make her spell work, but it just wasn't going well for her. Every time she thought she had it, the magic would fold in upon itself and fail entirely. Nothing, not even a destructive failure indicated it was ever going to work. But she still felt she already knew the answer, that it was just inches away at the corner of her eyesight, but whenever she tried to fix her mind's eye on it, it slipped away...
Fix my mind's eye on it...
She sat bolt upright, scrawling notes as quickly as she could. That's it...Crazy, but still...
Settling down into her chair, she tried to relax entirely. I don't fix my mind's eye on it at all...I let it come to my mind's eye instead. That mindset's exactly what my magic was lacking.
She tried to eliminate her thought's ordered, analytical form, molded from years of training, and revert it to a more loose, fluid state.
And that's when it finally clicked.
--<>-------Aaaaaand break.-------<>--/
Author's Note
I have nothing to write at this particular moment now
but now, a week later i do.
do you think 'clasped' is also anatomically incorrect, cause just personally I'd let it slide
Cheers,
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Applicable Literature & Psychiatric Help Agency
Tuesday 3: A Break In The Loop, No Not That One, The Other One
Isn't it always strange when the thing you've been looking for turns out to be in the opposite direction than from where you look?
And that it always is right there in front of you when you turn around?
Like spending fifteen minutes looking for your glasses to find them already on your head, or three hours looking for your Pokemon Platinum cartridge only to find it's still on your shelf.
Well. Aurora had been looking for years, growing more interested but more desperate with each passing month.
And all it took was to simply think about it in the opposite way than how she normally did.
Nevermind convenience of story arcs, a complete reversion of her carefully trained mindset is no easy feat. It took her hours to enter a state of fluid thought.
But when she did, the answer to her years of searching smacked her upside the head and shoved a late returns note directly into her cerebellum.
So simple. Something you would never have thought of normally, but just like any good moment of fridge logic, so obvious once you finally notice it. The Waldo is never lost once he is found.
The loophole to the answer opened wide in front of her.
She had it--in theory, anyway. All she needed was a few ponies as good at magic as her.
She had a letter to write.
And although its reputation was a little dim, she knew what she had to do. It was a matter of urgency.
She had to send it by Derpy's 15 Minute Delivery Service.
--<>-------Ah...that explains it.-------<>--/
"Coolio," said Clear Sight. "Everyone's here."
Looking about the room at the Bearers, he scratched the back of his head. "Great...so while Res and Illes are going off to stop a Nastasia clone, I came up with a new mission," he grinned in anticipation. "We're going to raid the post office."
Confused glances came from around the room.
"Let me explain," he continued, "The Control Fragment's Controller, Evening Aurora, sent a letter here, perhaps before the Memory Week started. However, the more likely and more interesting option is that she sent it today, using a faster delivery service."
He pointed at various ponies in the room. "So, Flash Magnus, and...Meadowbrook, you two search the post offices. We're looking for a letter addressed to either Resolve Spirit, Res, ALPHA Head Offices, anything such, with a return address of..." he glanced at a piece of paper in his hand. "133 Banker Street, Canterlot EQ, 20006. Got it?"
"Yes..." replied Meadowbrook, "but I am always impressed by how advanced society has become. Now everyone's home has a number...convenient, but very impersonal."
Clear Sight continued. "Rockhoof, Meadowbrook, and Mistmane. You three get to check DDS." He handed them each a piece of paper. "This is the address of Derpy's Delivery Service, which includes same-day, two-hour, one-hour, and fifteen minute delivery of mail. My guess is that if the letter is lost, it's lost in there. We're looking for the same address as Meadowbrook. Got it?"
"Yes..." replied Mistmane, "but fifteen minutes? Back in our time, we couldn't even write letters, we had to walk two days to the next town. How efficient society has become."
"All right..." Clear Sight clapped his hooves. "Last but not least, Stygian and Star Swirl. You're with me. I've got to check something and I think your perspective on the matter will help me. What'd you say?"
"Of course, sure thing." Stygian replied. "What is it?"
"Well...we need some other ponies before we can start anyway." He turned to the others. "Let's get moving, this letter could mean the salvation of the universe."
The five mail investigation crew left, nodding.
"Cool...now." Clear Sight picked up a land line phone from the wall. "Doc, Clear Thought. Meet me in the Applied Literature wing Room 3 in ten minutes."
Hanging up the phone, he sighed. "Star Swirl, I've got my eye on you. Let's go."
They set off down the hallway.
--<>-------oh boy, now what's up over here?-------<>--/
"Alright, so judging by her previous reaction, the letter contained some critical information as to the meeting," noted Illesio.
Res nodded. "Yes...if we can't find the letter by then, we're just going to have to wing it and tell her we don't know what's going on."
Scratching out a reminder on the whiteboard, he continued. "Somehow, we're going to have to explain it to her that we know when the meeting was without the letter the meeting was planned in. You got any ideas?"
"Well...my hope is she's a sensible mare," answered Illesio, "and won't blow this out of proportion. Although she did seem rather stressed last we saw her."
Res snorted. "That's putting it lightly. She's acting weird, I've never known her to be this out of it before, she usually just gets quiet when she's angry, quiet and dangerous like a snake about to strike. This mental breakdown she got into yesterday? Somehow, it seems out of character for her."
"I see what you mean..." Illesio frowned. "If only we could see what she's thinking..."
Res started. "Hold up," he said. "That's a great idea. I've got something just like that, wait here."
He sprinted from the room, leaving Illesio confused and startled that mind reading actually existed.
With nothing better to do, she started reviewing the notes on the whiteboard.
Res, of course, was sprinting towards the Applied Literature wing of the building, the previously unexplored and mysterious narrative location. Specifically, to his office, where he kept his most secretive and dangerous work.
Narrowly avoiding tripping over his desk, he found the safe. Only he knew the spell to get inside.
He thought outside the box. Then he thought inside the box.
Presto. He looked around the small room, scanning the shelves for the proper spell. On one of the lower shelves, he paused, picked up one of the pages, and read it carefully. "Perfect," he muttered.
He thought outside the box again and sprinted back through the hallways with the paper clutched in his magic.
After a while, he got back to the room. "Illesio. This one."
Illesio looked down from her budding abstract art piece and read the paper. "What is this?"
"It's a spell...specifically a kind of loophole magic," replied Res. "This allows one to read the minds of others."
Illesio recoiled. "So, everyone else, or just the one the spell is directed at?"
"Well it used to be just everyone, but that's a little mentally deafening, so I refined it to just one at a time. Don't worry, I'm not going to read yours."
He raised his eyebrows. "Unless you want me to," and chuckled at Illesio's expression.
After a moment, Illesio frowned. "Still, using a mind reading spell on her without her knowing seems a little disingenuous, don't you think?"
"Well, I think we don't have enough time left to argue about morals. We'll just use the spell to find out her motives are and then figure out what comes later."
"Alright...but I still have second thoughts about this..."
"Yeah, I know."
"No, no, just kidding," he said to a very angry Illesio, "I promise."
--<>-------subtle-------<>--/
Author's Note
Boy howdy these two weeks have been busy
Cheers,
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Tuesday 4: Come Rain, Come Sleet, Come Banks Of Snow, The Mail Service Is Sure To Go
"Ok, you three. What's up with you?"
High above them stretched a carefully inscribed vaulted roof, and to their sides, reaching nearly up to the ceiling far overhead, were hundreds of extended bookcases, each easily holding half a thousand books or more. You could have easily pictured a Gondorian king of Tolkien legend striding down the warmly lit passages, rustling through ancient scrolls and deciphering forgotten scripts to increase his immortal knowledge.
Of course, this was only one of the four main Applied Literature libraries, which were all given proper names by Res but which were usually called by their numbers due to their esoteric and mostly unpronounceable fashion. And instead of a learned hall for elders and kings, these were mostly used as the world's largest public library---unprovable due to limited knowledge of lands outside Equestria, but easily assumed due to their impractically large size.
The room stretched out in all directions. A blazing fire in an ornate Coltic marble fireplace dramatically silhouetted Clear Sight's pacing figure, obscuring his expressions in the contrasting darkness.
Clear Thought, Doc, and Star Swirl sat behind him, warily eyeing his movements.
And Stygian kind of lurked in the corner at the edges of the shadows, unsure why he had been summoned as well.
"I said," repeated Clear Sight, sitting down and putting his head in his hooves, "what is up with you three?"
"What...do you mean, exactly?" replied Doc waveringly.
Clear Sight raised his head and fixed Doc a heavy stare with his now duly obscured eyes. Green ripples of light came from the air above his head, and the Klaspmente materialized. Grabbing hold of it, Clear Sight pumped it like a shotgun, creating an eerily quiet, terrifyingly precise clicking sound.
"I mean what is up with your previous mission," he said softly. "I've never got an answer so far as to what you've found yet."
Clear Thought spoke quickly. "We didn't find anything, there was nothing there--"
"DON'T LIE TO ME." From behind Clear Sight's sunglasses glowed an ethereal green fire. "I KNOW when people lie to me."
He began pacing again. "You did find something...but a sensitive subject. You don't want to tell me, for fear of revealing some dark secret...and somehow..." he turned again, "you've been...affected...by it. Something is not right."
"So..." he continued, "what is it? We don't have all day now..."
Silence reigned for a few seconds.
Finally, Star Swirl spoke up. "You would be wise not to know. Knowledge of some things and not the whole picture can lead to improper judgments." He got to his feet. "However, in this case, I believe telling the truth may be a suitable alternative to the destructive behavior you clearly are well acquainted with."
Looking at the other two of the three, he told Clear Sight what had happened. "And that is when we met an alternate version of you from another timeline. He told us to--"
"Wait," Clear Sight interrupted, "that's it?"
"What...do you mean?" replied Star Swirl, baffled.
"That's it?" Clear Sight lowered the Klaspmente. "Just an alternate timeline version of me? Thank Celestia!" He flopped down onto the floor, chuckling. "And here I thought it was something really bad!"
"Ok, nothing to worry about then." He got up again and dissipated the artificial horn. "Looks like even from other universes, I still look after myself. What'd he do?"
"Oh, well," said Doc, "He gave us all these strange green diamonds and told us to slam them directly into our foreheads--which we weren't going to do until he let slip a glimpse of the alternate reality. Then we knew he wasn't lying."
"Ohhh," breathed Clear Sight, "those diamonds would explain the...affectations. No matter," he waved them off. "Consider our discussion over. You guys," he smirked, "you could just tell me things I don't know, you know?"
"Maybe if you stopped acting like a mafia torturer we would," muttered Clear Thought as they left the room.
Clear Sight turned to Stygian. "Oh, geez, sorry Stygian. I was going to have you help me convince Star Swirl to tell me, but I guess it's too late for that now. You always get the bum end of the deal, huh?"
Stygian shrugged. "Well, you get used to it. Are we still scheduled for lunch?"
Clear Sight managed to convey the meaning of glaring sarcastically at somebody through polarized lenses. "Not if you keep pronouncing it that way."
"Oh...I think I did remember you saying something about that...sorry, sorry..." he began to carefully sound it out, "S-C-H-E-D-U-L-E. Is that better?"
Clear Sight clapped him on the back. "Much better. I always say, quarrel about the things that don't matter rather than argue about those that do. Now what you want, a...stromboli?"
They exited the room.
--<>-------what is happening to our good friends ove[actually nevermind more development here]-------<>--/
"Hey, what's all this?"
Clear Sight had just bumped into Flash Magnus, who had been flying wildly down the corridor, and toppled over Stygian.
Flash Magnus recovered. "Sorry, I was just trying to look for you and it is a maze in here," he panted, then recovered. "We searched the post office. Nothing to be found."
"That's what I expected, but better be safe than sorry," replied Clear Sight. "Any word from the others?"
Just as Magnus was about to open his mouth again, Rockhoof came barreling through the wall, screaming in terror.
"Man, that's an expensive wall, watch where you're barreling," called Clear Sight ineffectually against the wall of manly sound resonating throughout the corridor.
"WHY???" yelled Rockhoof. "WHY CAN SOMETHING LIKE THIS EXIST???"
"What are we talking about?" called Stygian.
"ROCKHOOF, WHAT IS IT?" yelled Magnus.
Rockhoof calmed down a bit and stopped screaming. "That, that, that pony ...what abomination created that creature...what twisted hand of fate created her...it...I don't know..." He shuddered.
"No, uh, seriously," said Clear SIght, "what is up?"
"HOW CAN A CREATURE SO STUPID EXIST???" bawled Rockhoof.
"Ohhhhhh," went everyone else.
"You mean Derpy," said Clear Sight. "Yep, she's a freak of nature. Don't know why she exists, some malcontent probably did it, but hey," he shrugged. "she's a pony just like everyone else, she just...thinks in a different way, that's all."
"Now," he continued. "Tell me all about it--once we get somewhere better suited for barrelling and screaming. This is a public library, you know, Rockhoof."
"It is?" Rockhoof drastically lowered his voice. "My bad."
Everyone began walking down the corridor, but Clear Sight lingered for a moment, thinking carefully.
"No, I...No, he wasn't there by then...who was it?..."
Snapping his fingers, he remembered. "Cinder Banks, if i'm not mistaken. I bet...man, I need to catch up with my brother..."
He exited the room for good this time.
--<>-------aww, we're out of time to see anypony else...how tragic-------<>--/
Author's Note
ma me hee boo ga roo
how's everybody doing? All y'alls 83 people looking at my stuff, you interested?
CheersBetless
i hate myself
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Tuesday 5: This Should Actually Be Last Chapter's Title, It's Difficult When You Make The Name First
"Why...why six?"
Dark shadows surrounded an indistinct silhouette standing before the glowing trunk of the Tree of Harmony.
"Why does that number pervade all of existence?"
The figure stepped out of the cave mouth and looked upwards, squinting against the sunlight. Barely visible over the edge of the cliff was the carefully designed facade of the ALPHA head offices building.
It was Sharp Vision. "It seems too purposeful to be a mistake...six Elements, six Bearers, and now here discovered the six Fragments, not to mention their bearers themselves."
He sighed. "My own sets of sixes...the six Guides, the six branches of office, the list goes on and on."
"Is it a sign of something sinister? Or perhaps they meant to merely remind us of our own imperfection, the incompleteness of seven minus one?"
"Depends on the culture, I guess," he shrugged. "I've heard that six is a lucky number in countries far off..."
"but why does it continue to be six that is the central aspect of everything?"
He put his hoof to his chin.
"Well, that's a line of thought for another day." He shook his head. "Gotta stop having existential crises on the job."
Turning, he made his way back into the cave, rubbing his temple. "I just keep forgetting how blasted unpredictable I am, I leave for a minute to get a good calzone and what happens? He just up and cycles again without me! I had to scramble to violate causality that time, let me tell you."
"You know you're talking to yourself, right?"
"Of course..." he sighed, turning around. "And I still am. The surest sign of either insanity..."
Standing in the mouth of the cave was another Clear Sight. "...Or genius," Sharp Vision finished. "Basket Case, nice to see you. What's wrong? Is it upper management?"
"Hold up, I'm not the harbinger of destruction, that's Lost Cause," said Basket Case. "But you are right in a sense, it is upper management. They have an update on what's the directive for this universe. The reason they had their eyes on this one is that it fits into the Omega Timeline's history."
"I always thought that Greek was a little gratuitous, but I see what you mean. Really important, huh?"
Basket Case nodded gravely. "However, they also stated that if they fail to, unassisted, place their six Fragments into capable hands, the jig is up. We leave them alone and find a plan B."
"I see..." Sharp Vision thought for a second. "But personally, I don't doubt they'll find and control each as capably as considered possible."
"Placing so much faith in ourself, eh? Don't get too bigheaded. But seriously," Basket Case continued, "that's what upper management has planned. I don't know what else they have in mind, because as you know, they aren't some of us. ...If only I could tell what they were thinking as easily as we can each other."
"Anyway," he reopened a plot hole. "I've got a few appointments to keep with the Forward Wing, so catch me later."
"Sure thing," replied Sharp Vision. "Keep yourself out of trouble."
Basket Case smiled and disappeared.
"Well, my job got a little more interesting," said Sharp Vision, pulling a hologram up from his four-coordinate-modulus and a bag of popcorn from nowhere. "We'll see how I do."
--<>-------oh my gosh so many plot points-------<>--/
"Well, since Clear Sight hasn't found the letter yet, we'd better go," said Res, checking his watch.
Unsurely, Illesio frowned. "I still don't think this is a good idea...she doesn't seem like the kind to listen to reason."
"She never was, and especially not now, apparently. But we don't have any time left. We'll just have to wing it and see what information we can gather now." He started up his three-coordinate modulus.
"Well if you say so..." Illesio followed Res into the newly opened portal. Appearing back in the Canterlot sculpture garden, they looked for the empty pedestal where Evening Aurora would soon arrive.
"Oh thank heavens, she isn't here yet," Res breathed. "We've still got some time left."
And suddenly started. "Freaking fridge logic. I needed to test the mind reading spell before I came. Gotta see if it still works."
Illesio raised an eyebrow. "Actually, I was interested...how does it work?"
"Good question," said Res, sitting down. "Let me put it this way: you know how any lock, no matter how complicated, can still be picked?"
Illesio nodded.
"Well, any spell can also be modified, if one knows the right backdoors. I believe that I and Clear Sight are the only two ponies in Equestria that know this method of magic, which I call 'loophole magic.' Clear Sight prefers to call it 'hacking' but I say that's a little less mysterious. Anyway, Clear Sight and I came up with this a few years ago, although," he whispered conspiratorially, "I don't try to let my ego get too big, but even Clear Sight isn't as good at it as me."
"So...you can find a loophole, a backdoor around...Wait," Illesio perked up. "Don't tell me. Does every pony's mind emit small, almost imperceptible signals of magic?"
"Exactly, you've got a quick mind, Illesio. By finding ways to amplify these brainwaves, one can hear the thoughts of other ponies, and even see glimpses of their imaginations. All it takes is to take a spell, use it in a situation no one would ever think of, and essentially jiggle the bobby pin until the tumblers fall. Easy as pie."
Illesio nodded appreciatively. "That's probably the most interesting thing I've ever heard...but how will you test it? There's nopony around, and I sure hope you won't use it on me," she shot him a suspicious look.
"Well...I was thinking. Since you're averse to me reading your mind, how about...how about you read my mind? That way you can learn some loophole magic and we can still see whether the spell works or not."
He pushed the paper into Illesio's bewildered hooves. "Here, give it a try."
Illesio looked at the paper, then up at Res. "Are you sure about this? I don't even know if I can..."
"If anyone could, I bet it could be you," Res smiled. "You've got the quickest mind I've seen in a while, give it a shot."
"Alright..." Illesio looked down at the paper and frowned. "This is really something else..."
She squinted into the distance concentrating. "Really different from everything I've done before. I don't really do magic that often anyway...I always thought you could do about as much with your own hooves. But this, it's like trying to write with your left hoof...strange."
"Focus on the mind of the person you want to read," said Res. "Otherwise you'll get mentally deafened by everyone in Canterlot's thoughts bombarding you at the same time."
Illesio nodded slowly. "Hmmm...wait a second..."
She paused.
"No...that's not it," she sighed.
"Just relax and follow the directions. The magic shouldn't be folded, but allowed to flow freely and bent like a stream of water, you see? In a sense, the directions only guide you toward your personal method of achieving a goal, everyone has different paths to the same gate."
"Alright..."
A few quiet minutes passed. Res watched Illesio's closed eyes intently, waiting for any sign that the spell was working.
His thoughts ran on, still unable to be heard by the concentrating Illesio. Hmmm...she's most likely on the right track, I hope Evening Aurora doesn't come around before we know the spell works. But if it does work...I'll need a way to know if she really read my mind or not. What to think of? Oh, I know! I've got to think of something so strange, or ridiculous, or something, that it won't fail to get a reaction out of her...hmm...aha.
The minutes continued to drag on, only broken by a small twitch of Res's mouth.
Finally, Illesio's eyebrows went up...and she broke into hysterical laughter.
"Why?? I should have known you were tricking me!" she managed to say between spasms.
"Well," said Res, chuckling as well, "at least we know the spell works, right?"
"How do you even think of this stuff? What a weirdo."
She recovered and sat upright again. "Alright, in any case, the spell works. I think I know how to do it. I'd have to practice for a while to get it comfortably right, it is a weird way of thinking about magic, but I think in time I might get the hang of it. Thanks, Res. I haven't enjoyed a problem like that since geometry in ninth grade."
"What, you like geometry, huh?"
"Yeah I did. Everything was so easy when it was all physical objects on the paper and not just imaginary values in your head."
"Well, I guess that's where you and I differ..." said Res, shaking his head. "I hated geometry. I honestly would rather do almost any other form of math than that."
"Why not?"
"I dunno." Res leaned back against the pedestal. "Hope Aurora gets here soon...we could potentially figure out what she wants even without the letter."
"I sure hope so, being left in the dark's a little too mysterious for my tastes...but I wonder how she'll react if she figures out we know when the meeting is without being given the letter beforehand?"
Res bolted upright. "Don't you dare jinx it, stop, wait, uh, do we have any wood here I can knock on?"
"Oh, you're...here already?"
Res gave Illesio a meaningful look as he pocketed the mind reading spell, and they turned to see Evening Aurora standing behind them.
"Of course, Aurora," said Res. "When I got your letter, I came here as fast as possible."
"Well, if you were in such a hurry, you could have come to, you know, my house?"
Res maintained a blank look for a few seconds, before he managed to say, "Wow. What an idiot I am. You're right, I could have come to your house, I know where it is...Aw geez, never occured to me, sorry Aurora."
Aurora shrugged and sat down. "At least you haven't changed since I saw you last. I would ask how are you doing, but I've just stumbled across something extremely interesting recently, and I thought you might have a look."
"Yeah, I know that part already, what is it?"
"Well, it is--" Aurora cut herself short as she finally noticed Illesio sitting there too. "Uhhhh, who's this?" she asked, a little confused.
"Oh, you mean Illesio?" Res responded. "She's only my star pupil and my irreplaceable assistant in the workplace. Quickest mind I've seen in a long while, she might give you a run for your money."
Illesio waved, eyeing Res bemusedly.
"And don't worry," he continued, leaning towards Aurora. "Everything you think you can tell me, you can tell her also."
"Oh...well, in that case, I've discovered--here's the part where I think you'll be impressed--I've discovered a new branch of magic."
"No way!" Res genuinely expressed his surprise. "Wait, I want this explained to me very slowly..." he looked back to Illesio and nodded, giving her a significant look.
She nodded back and closed her eyes, concentrating.
Well, Evening Aurora, thought Res. We'll see what you're up to...
--<>-------wow-------<>--/
Author's Note
aguhh why am I away so long sometimes
also this is a mess
anyway
Cheers and crackers,
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Tuesday 6: Nevermind, None Of Them Should Have Had Tuesday 4's Title, Sorry For The Confusion
"Alright..." resumed Aurora. "So I've had the idea for a few years: you know how any lock, no matter how complicated, can still be picked?"
Res nodded disbelievingly. No way, it can't be...
"Well, I figured out that any spell can also be modified, if you use the right backdoors. Simply taking the spell, using it in a manner you wouldn't normally think of, and adjusting it a little can lead to previously impossible feats of magic."
"Whoa...that--that sounds amazing," said Res, starting to sweat.
"I think I might be the only pony in Equestria that knows this method of magic," continued Aurora, clapping her hooves. "I've been thinking of a way to develop instantaneous communication between two places, using the backbone of your telephone spells. I think with widespread knowledge of this magic, more than just communications can be improved, however," she leaned forward. "Military, security, transportation...there could be a thousand different ways to improve society!"
Res looked back at Illesio, who met his gaze, nodded, and shrugged. Res pointed to himself, shooting her a meaningful look as he turned back to Aurora, saying, "You're right...it sounds like it has a lot of potential..."
Illesio turned the mind reading spell towards Res, and listened in: Illesio, can you hear me? Don't respond. This is very, very bad. The reason only me and Clear Sight know about loophole magic is because of how many logical conclusions can be drawn from it, there are countless examples hidden deep in security of spells too dangerous or potentially catastrophic to use...If Aurora reveals the secrets to backwards thinking and the specific techniques used in loophole magic, there would be no end to the terrible crimes committed.
"I know, right?" said Aurora, thankfully oblivious to the secret exchange. "I called you over because I thought you would be the best option for pitching the idea. I don't...really like Clear Sight, he gives me the creeps, no offense."
"None taken," Res said, having recovered his poise and perfectly placing a chuckle. "Clear Sight gives everyone the creeps."
Think, Illesio. What if a pony, even a good pony, figured out that there's a way to remove magic from unicorns permanently? The power would most likely corrupt him, as it almost did us. Don't ask how we got to know that spell either, it's a long story. But seriously, if Aurora doesn't misuse it accidentally, then somepony will if she lets the cat out of the bag. Some is fine, like the borderline loophole magic we used in the telephone business, that's just using a spell in a different way. But the full bending of the rules that this magic is based on? We've locked up any evidence it existed at all, after a few misadventures in our past.
"So...what do you think?" finished Aurora.
"I think, as I said, it has a lot of potential...but I don't know. Messing with the fabric of magic? I have a feeling it won't end well for anyone..." Quick, focus on her and see her reactions to these statements.
Illesio turned the spell back to Aurora, and as she did so she noticed something different between Res and Aurora's thoughts...she couldn't put her hoof on it.
"Are you sure? Because I think that with the right safeguards, a controlled, simple method could be just what we need to push Equestria over the edge into rapid technological advancement." Aurora's thoughts mirrored the statement.
"Well, yes, but think about it, you said yourself any safeguard can eventually be picked, eventually somepony's going to find a way to complicate matters and break into something they really can't afford to be dealing with."
"I see...well, could we just have a select few to use it and not reveal it to the public? It could be a trade secret." Again, her thoughts mirrored the sentiment, although they were getting a little impatient.
"I suppose so, but you'd have to keep in mind the gravity of any situation you use it in...maybe that would work, but then again it is kind of risky..."
"Alright, then I guess that's a risk we're going to have to take," said Aurora with an air of finality. This is going to be my life's crowning moment, she thought.
Res looked at Illesio with a begrudging expression, then turned back. "I just noticed...what a lovely necklace that is. Where'd you get it?"
Aurora glanced at the octahedral gemstone around her neck. "Oh, that? It used to be part of...an amulet or something, the previous owner had it removed, and personally I think it looks better by itself." No fraction of her thoughts indicated she knew it's true power as the Mind Control Fragment.
Res's eyes went wide. "Interesting...I've always been a fan of gemstones." He gestured to Illesio.
Turning the spell on Res again, Illesio noted the hysterical tinge to his thoughts. I know that stone, I know...it used to be a part of the Alicorn Amulet! But how did the Mind Control Fragment get there, and why isn't it affecting... he paused in his small talk with Aurora to have a fit of coughing.
"Are you alright?" said Aurora.
"Oh, perfectly fine, I believe it's just my ragweed allergies kicking in..." replied Res.
That's it, that must be it, he thought even faster than before. The Alicorn Amulet was noted for its near infinite source of power, but also for corrupting the user! The Fragment must be what was responsible for the almost mind control-esque change in personality through the Amulet's corrupting power. But it doesn't seem to be affecting her so far...I'll bet some ancient pony found the Fragment and used its power for evil, and when he died, he had it placed into an amulet to continue his evil ways...perhaps, even a little morbidly, put his soul into the amulet itself as a corrupting force...
but regardless, he continued catching up with Aurora, talking about their experiences in the past years, there must be some residual corruption on the stone from the amulet...that must be why she's been acting out of it...well, there's only one way to find out... he winked at Illesio. Keep an eye on her thoughts as she gets angry.
"Well..." he spoke up to Aurora again. "I hate to tell you this, but..."
"Why, what is it?"
"Would it bother you that this new branch of magic you've invented had been...invented before?"
"WHAT?" Aurora looked shocked to the core.
"...by me and Clear Sight?"
"You...you can't be serious." Aurora was shaking like a jackhammer. "All, all this time, I'd been searching for an answer, and it was right...under my nose?"
"'Fraid so," said Res. "We thought it was too dangerous to use, too many logical conclusions to handle. So we locked it up. That's why I said it was a bad idea."
Aurora was just about to furiously reply when Res's phone went off. He picked it up.
"Hello? Oh, hello Clear Sight. You got it? Great. I was just about to contact you. Did you read it yet? No? How long do you need? Alright, I think I can survive that long. Catch you tomorrow. Thanks! No, I don't need your sarcasm, you can shut up. Stop it, stop, hanging up now."
He turned his attention to Aurora. "...you were saying?"
She just started screaming and throwing objects at him with her magic.
"SEE?" Res called to Illesio, who was thankfully out of the major blast sites. "NOT SOMETHING A NORMAL THOUGHT PROCESS WOULD DO--"
He narrowly dodged a flagstone. "FREAKING HECK!"
"SO, DEFINITELY CORRUPTED, HUH?" yelled Illesio back.
"NO DOUBT--" his voice was obstructed by a massive explosion. "--INITELY RESIDUAL CORRUPTION ON THE FRAGMENT."
Illesio felt a tugging at the back of her subconscious. "OH LOOKS LIKE SHE'S DOING THE MIND CONTROL AGAIN, I'LL TRY AND KEEP OUT OF YOUR WAY," she started running away from the two battling unicorns.
Res wondered why he didn't get to be mind controlled too, he was beginning to feel left out.
In the distance, he could see Illesio turn around and start running back towards them. "Got her, huh?" he mumbled, managing to miss being decapitated by a flagpole.
His phone rang.
"Oh thank heavens," he said, and the world turned to light.
--<>-------another day another dollar-------<>--/
Author's Note
i think Mark Twain once said "First get your facts correct. Then bend them at your leisure."
well I'm sure doing a bit of bending here, whoaly cow
I didn't plan on the Alicorn Amulet thing either, it just worked out that way
this whole story is a disaster, but one that I really can't look away from
I don't know what exactly is going to come next, but it sure as hecc will be just as weird
oh crap I just realized this fanfiction is just a less artistic and inventive version of Homestuck what have I done
ehhh who cares
Na Zdorovie,
Applicable Literature & Psychiatric Help Agency
"And this here is the Psychiatric Help Agency wing, where we run our services and conduct cutting-edge research on how the brain functions and how mental disorders are created or inherited."
Res gestured through a stark metal door into a starkly contrasting room: an enormous, well-furnished, cozy mansion foyer, with windows leading into beautiful forests running the length and breadth of the walls, fountains tucked away in small gardens as stepping stone paths wound between them.
"We wanted to make sure that those who really needed our help were comfortable here," said Res, "and our studies have shown the most reliably comfortable places for nearly all ponies are a good house and a good slice of nature."
"What happens when there's a pony who doesn't feel comfortable here?" asked Illesio.
Res nodded appreciatively, "Good question. We have a separate series of smaller rooms which we can personalize to fit any particular pony, but for most, we introduce them here."
"Clear Sight," he continued as he walked down the pathway, "figured out that the best way to go about the art of psychiatry is a mix of professionalism and fluidity. For example," he gestured to a small garden where two ponies were having a discussion, "ponies feel comfortable when they know they're seeing an expert, but combined with a more open experience and the assurance of environmental factors, it improves their experience."
Illesio noticed that even as they passed by, they couldn't hear the two ponies talking. "A silence spell?" she wondered.
"Absolutely." Res nodded again. "Privacy is important as well, especially in this field of medicine. All their problems are treated with the same secrecy as Celestia does the Canterlot Intelligence Agency."
"Wait, what?"
But Res had already moved on through a second door: "Now, I'd like you to meet some of Clear Sight's best employees here: Deep Thought and Clear Thought." He waved at the two ponies inside.
They were quite obviously biological twins, because although Deep Thought was a stallion and Clear Thought was a mare, they shared the same dark blue coat and white manes.
"Hello there," said Clear Thought in a clear voice, and looked at the two visitors in veiled amusement.
Deep Thought was busy, furiously writing numbers and equations on the wall, all with an air of...of devastatingly important purpose, like he was going for the answer to life itself. "...about seven million..." he muttered.
He noticed them finally, and started, waving to them amicably.
"Hello there," said Deep Thought in a deep voice, and looked at the two visitors in unveiled bewilderment.
"Hey Deep, hey Clear," responded Res. "This is Illesio, a journalist for...the Canterlot Journal, if I'm not mistaken? I'm taking her on a tour of the facilities for an article she was going to write."
Deep Thought stared. "That's nev-"
"-ertheless interesting," interrupted Clear Thought, "The entire building system is one of the most fascinating places I've ever seen, if I do say so myself. I'm extremely glad I work here."
She shot Deep a meaningful look, and slowly a light dawned in his eyes. "Oh, yes, absolutely," he said. "My favorite part of the place is the room directly behind this door...perhaps you'd like to spare a glance?"
"Yes please," said Illesio faintly: she was feeling like she was missing something. The entire day had been one strange occurrence after another, and she still didn't know what to make of it.
"But of course," said Res graciously: he was feeling like he wasn't missing anything. None of the subtle (or less so) attempts to hook him up with a girlfriend escaped his notice, and he knew, from the moment Clear Sight had the idea and given him the look, that he was in for something rather irritating.
"What's up?" said Clear Sight impeccably: he never missed anything but always felt like acting not to. "Going to see the MRI room?"
Res gave him a withering look, to which Clear Sight politely doffed his sunglasses.
"Why yes," said Clear Thought, "we were just about to. Would you like to explain it yourself this time?"
Clear Sight waved dismissively. "Nah, I've got some work to do. You're better at it than me anyway. See y'all around!" He disappeared out the door. He appeared back in. "I'll need Deep Thought though," he said, and un-re-appeared himself with Deep Thought in tow.
"In that case," said Clear Thought, "please, follow me."
They entered a small room full of metal machinery, where a large ring of carefully constructed metal and plastic hung above a small cot at the edge of the room. Surprisingly enough, there was a small Zen garden on one side of the room, and several tinted windows opened out onto a beautiful park.
Clear Thought said, "This is the MRI--or Magnetic Resonance Imaging--room. This machine we have here is a way of mapping out a pony's brain using the power of magnetism." She turned to Illesio. "You know about how bats echolocate, right?"
"Yes, I remember learning about that in grade school," Illesio said. "Does this use the same method, except...with magnetism?"
"Well, it's a little more nuanced than that, but essentially, we just throw a magnetic field around the person's head and see what bounces out." explained Clear Thought, making gestures to illustrate her point.
"No, no, no," she said, noticing Illesio's pained expression, "not in that sense, sorry. Bad choice of words. We measure what radio waves are emitted from inside the magnetic field. Radio waves pass through us all the time on their way to our devices, so rest assured: it's perfectly safe."
She smiled. "Would you like to see the inside of your own head?"
---------Meanwhile, what's Clear Sight up to?---------/
Clear Sight was up to par with his schedule for Saturday, but there was one last thing to do before he could definitively end it.
"Ah yes," he said, nodding thoughtfully to himself, "last on the list is to call up anyone who calls 'schedule' 'shed-jule' and yell at them for a minute." He turned to Deep Thought. "You mind helping me out? We got a sizable list here."
Deep Thought was up to his eardrums in bemused consternation.
--<1>-------On second thought, who really cares: what's going on literally anywhere else-------<4>--/
Rarity was having a lovely afternoon at the Carousel Boutique: customers were good, her new shipment of rare chartreuse topaz had just arrived, and she was working on a simply gorgeous dress, that, if she said so herself, would really even outdo, well, herself.
This was all accentuated by the fact that the ever-loyal Sassy Saddles had just called and sprung the news of an absolutely dazzlingly grand order from none other than Resolve Spirit himself. He was replacing his entire wardrobe and donating the first set to CSGT, for whatever they would decide to use them for.
Although Res had many great qualities, one of the best (in her humble opinion) was that he knew how to pay well. She would have been head over heels for him at one point, but life had taught her to be skeptical of good-looking ponies, a well-founded trait, as Res had shown absolutely no interest in any mare (or stallion, for that matter) in recorded history. He knew her quite well, but sadly, only as a business associate.
She sighed, and poked idly at her sewing machine. Well Rarity, no use crying over spilt milk, there's nothing you can do about it and you'll just have to deal with it.
She returned to her dress, and soon her spirits were lifted: she even forgot all about Resolve Spirit.
Suddenly the phone rang again, and she glanced carelessly up from her work and back down again.
She looked again.
She readjusted her glasses.
She looked again.
The number--the number was the private business hotline for ALPHA.
Unsteadily, she walked over to the phone, picked it up, and said, "Hello, this is Rarity at the Carousel Boutique. What ca--"
"Excuse me, but do YOU KNOW HOW ANNOYING IT IS TO HEAR 'SHED-JULE?' JUST CALL THE WORD BY WHAT IT WAS MEANT TO BE CALLED BY! Please forgive me, Miss Rarity, Clear Sight force--"*click*
Rarity sat down.
But then again...she was used to this type of nonsense from the second of ALPHA's creators by now.
She sighed and went back to work.
---------Holy hecking crap, there's more---------/
Author's Note
hey,,, that's pretty good
Man I have a very vague idea where this is going
Took me 2 hrs 30 min
Cheers and good luck to all you psychotic cases
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Applicable Literature & Psychiatric Help Agency
Saturday 6: When In Rome, Do As The Roman Tourists Do And Finally Get Some Good Italian Food
Saying that technology was a new field in Equestria was like saying that Bitalian food was the best thing ever created on the planet, in that it's entirely true and more likely an understatement.
In this regard, the insanely fast development of the subject due to four ponies struck the world by storm, and the general public still had trouble wrapping their minds around its existence.
For example, try thinking for a moment. You are a simple journalist, used to complications in politics, a generally predictable genre as history once performed will likely be repeated. Magic is no stranger to you, and even if you aren't necessarily a scholar, there is a certain common sense followed by most magic that makes it easy to understand.
But when technology arrives, to the common mind it seems more magical than magic itself.
Not to mention that most technology in Equestria nowadays is the clever combination of technology itself and loopholed, nearly bootlegged magic.
So when a simple journalist like you realizes she holds in her own hooves a physical representation of the way she thinks and acts, you wouldn't really blame her for taking an existential outlook on things for a moment.
Naturally, the feelings pass, and reason kicks in, but the nagging doubt at the back of her mind continues to exist. Once created, it never truly leaves...
All this is observed and carefully noted.
--<?>-------That last line is important in about thirteen chapters or so, I dunno-------<?>--/
"I still can't believe that this technology actually works."
Illesio was walking down the hallway towards the Applicable Literature side of the building, Res close beside her.
"To be entirely honest, I'm still getting over it myself," said Res, "it's just happened so fast. Really, I guess all Equestria needed was three or four ponies that thought differently than everypony else to kick it off."
"Three or four? I thought there were only the two of you?"
"No, no, remember Clear Sight's brother? There's a third, and the fourth one is another of our employees here at the...Ah, here." He gestured towards a theatrically engraved door. "The Technology Center."
He put a hoof to the side of his mouth and spoke confidentially. "This section is one of the best-kept secrets in all of Equestria, but Clear Sight and I have been talking recently, and with our rebranding, decided to open inquiries to the media. Congratulations, you're the first," he said as he walked up to the door, lit up his horn for a spell, spouted an incredibly complex and credibly incomprehensible series of syllables, and stepped back as the doors opened.
Illesio raised an eyebrow. "That's one strange security system."
"Oh, I just do the noises to throw any surprise visitors off," he grinned.
Illesio rolled her eyes...but as she walked through the door, rolling was the least of her eyes' problems.
An absolutely massive, cavernous room, easily three or four times the size of the Psychiatry foyer, stretched out before them. Countless numbers of metal grate catwalks snaked across the ceiling and between pillars, connecting different sections. Wherever her eyes turned, there was something extremely interesting going on, between prototypes for wireless telephones, the development of a reliable full video capture camera, beta testing on artificial pegasus wings, the six-sided summoning circle set into the floor with a crowd of exited ponies setting road flares around it at intervals, or even the built-in cafeteria.
She noticed very suddenly she was very suddenly hungry: it was already two-o'clock.
Res seemed to notice as well, because he said, "How about something to eat, eh? Does Bitalian sound alright to you?"
And when she said yes, it did, that was also more likely an understatement.
--<+>-------Running gags are difficult to pull off well-------<^>--/
Clear Sight had, to everyone's relief, finished his list for the day and was now winding down, preferably by finding some lunch first, it was getting pretty late. "Thanks a ton, Deep Thought. I'd be lost without you."
"No problem, Clear Sight," Deep Thought sighed, "it's not like I have anything...i don't know, better to do?"
Clear Sight looked at him with that peculiar unreadable expression he got at times. "Oh, geez, sorry man. I mean I...guess I just got caught up in the act. You know, I gotta look like the most insane nutcase the world has ever seen, you know?"
He crossed to the balcony of his office and leaned on the railing. "When people see the most irrationally insane pony ever known run a business built upon bringing others to, to sanity, it creates this...duality, this mystique, a part of history that never really will be explained, like how could a pony like that ever accomplish anything, let alone the exact opposite of his personality?" He sighed. "A narcissistic act? Yes. A powerful act? Yes. And although the media won't necessarily tell you, ask anypony who's ever come to see me on a personal appointment. They can tell you."
Deep Thought simply scratched his head, stood there for few minutes in shock, and left in silence.
Clear Sight then looked after him with that peculiar unreadable expression...that anyone who actually knows him knows is perfectly readable, just in the exact wrong way.
He muttered to himself, "Sure fooled him," and broke into an easy smile.
The smile faded as a faint rumbling could be heard in the distance.
"Holy, holy actual Celestia freaking shiz," he said.
---------What's going on with him? Too bad, more A plot---------/
A shout emanated from the group of ponies gathered around the six-sided summoning circle.
Illesio thought to herself, as she finished her pasta carbonara, that would make a nice tongue twister.
As the ponies scattered, a burst of bright light emanated from the previously aforementioned circle and materialized into a stack of meticulous, elegant boxes, which were promptly carted away towards the side of the room she hadn't seen yet.
"Ah yes, our new shipment," commented Res from the other side of the table. He had elegantly chosen the white truffle gnocchi with an old Barolo for pairing. He also had casually suggested she try a Gavi di Gavi with her meal, which turned out to perfectly accentuate the taste.
"One of our...larger projects requires some interesting items only importable from foreign parts," he continued, "and if it works will be the single most theoretically advanced invention of all time. However, that is one project that we will keep a secret, as its nature is sufficiently...hmm. Mind-boggling?"
He waved a hoof dismissively. "That's not what we're here for anyway. Would you like to take a closer look at any of these projects?"
Illesio looked around, but all of the projects looked far too complex. "Thanks, but...I don't think I can handle much more mind-boggling today." She was feeling particularly small, and wondered to herself how none of the media stations had ever unearthed any of what she had seen today. There was simply too much to keep hidden.
"Say, uh, Res?"
"Yes?"
"How do none of the outside public know what is in this building?"
Res smiled, a genuine, honest smile. "That's Clear Sight's job, and he is rather good at it."
The phone rang.
Res picked it up, muttering an apology to his guest. "What's up Clear Sight?"
The phone had somehow been left on speakerphone, and Clear Sight's words fell like landslides on Res's eardrums.
"Hey yeah, nothing much," Clear Sight said as Res fumbled to set the phone down, "I got two things to tell you. Good or bad first?"
"Why, of course good," Res replied, confused.
"Well good news is that on a phone call, I found out Starswirl the Bearded is back along with his friends, the OG Bearers, and this should totally be nipped in the bud,"
"Yeah, Wow, if that's the good stuff, what's the bad news?"
"Everypony Equestria Round Wave One is bashing itself at our defenses," Clear Sight said in a tone so desperate, everypony around the cafeteria stopped and stared at the phone in shock.
Clear Sight never resorted to desperation.
Two minutes later, Res and Illesio stood looking out the window of the second floor main lobby mezzanine, where they were joined quickly by Clear Sight.
Res said, "I guess we shouldn't have ended that story on a cliffhanger after all."
Clear Sight said, "No kidding, this is where Fallout Equestria begins."
Illesio said, "You actually read those comics? I never would've thought."
Clear Sight said, "Oh yeah, I read em. Got the collectors editions from the Canterlot Store of Magic Comics, cool stuff."
Illesio said, "But you've got to get the good writers. They keep changing them up and it drives me nuts."
Clear Sight said, "Oh yeah absolute--"
Res said, "Hey, we've got more to worry about right now."
The road before the front entrance to the facility was thick with furiously galloping ponies. The sky itself seemed dark with the wings of speeding pegasi.
Their eyes, every single individual's, burned with a clear and purposeful goal: the end of the story.
Res turned to Clear Sight.
"You for it?" he asked.
Clear Sight seemed unsure for a split second, before he shrugged and said, "Ehhh, ready as I'll ever be."
He reached for a small necklace he was wearing, but before he did anything, he looked at Illesio, and tapped his forehead.
"Don't worry. You got my insurance."
And the world turned to light.
--<>-------What in Equestria just happened?-------<>--/
Author's Note
When the moon hits your eye cause the whole world to die that's amore
Italian food is the best running gag ever and holy crap I got ambitious with this one.
Three hours Fifteen Minutes
Cheers from a man surprised at how many times he misspelled the word 'surprise,'
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Applicable Literature & Psychiatric Help Agency
Fourth Wall Bulletin Board One: Frank Expostulation From The Author
Author's Note
Goodness gracious me, I just went back and reread the entire story from start to finish
this is an absolute trainwreck
Well that's what you get when you do improv, i guess.
OK:
Plans: I will continue the story, even with this terrible premise and plot points, I think in a sort of strange masochistic way, having this handicap of trying to fit everything together in a semi-coherent final plot will turn out to be a good exercise in how to do improv.
Years in the future, I'll look back at this story and say 'holy crap I was so stupid then,'
Speaking of, as this story gets longer, if any of you find any unresolved plot points or suggestions as to how the plot should progress (I'm sure some of you might think of something to save this story), please, please comment and help me out.
Let's turn this mediocre, unfortunate trainwreck into a slow-motion, artistic, beautifully engineered trainwreck worth looking at.
Cheers to a new era, and to the egotist behind it all,
Fourth Wall Bulletin Board One: Frank Expostulation From The Author
