Chapters "So, where we goin' right now?"
"I can't tell you, silly. It's a surprise!" Wading states.
We return to the Mare with the Marshmallows who's escorting a blindfolded Babs to an unknown location. Well, unknown to Babs that is. Soon there's a loud roar of cheers and screams.
"Woah! What was that?"
"Hehe, you'll see."
The two ponies arrive at a long line outside of a large stadium. There, a stallion's voice can be heard on the speakers.
"And coming in the ring, the master cart blaster, the Manehattan disaster...GrazeDigger!"
*gasp* That is NOT what I think it is!"
"Oh, it is!" she assures, removing the blindfold from the anticipating filly.
Babs' eyes are as big as dinner plates at the sight of the building.
"THE CART-O-RAMA ROLLER DERBY!!!" she's jumping faster than Pinkie on sugar.
"I think we did an honorable job here, Wading. Truly heroic."
"Way ahead of ya!" Wading pulls out her cannon and fires in the air.
"Happy Birthday, Babs!" she screams euphorically.
Before she can react, Babs is once again clinging to her arm covered in glitter and confetti.
"How did you know I like derbies so much?" she asks, eyes filled with tears of joy.
"I know about everypony and their favorite things."
"That...sounded WAY less creepy in here."
A half hour or so later, Wading returns to her seat with Celestia knows how many sweets at her disposal. Babs on the other hoof, is at the edge of hers as she is fully invested in the derby, carts blown to splinters and horseshoes scattered all over the arena. As Wading reaches her seat, she spots a purple playing card with an 'S' labelled on it.
"Oh, so looks like someone wants to play hide-n-seek, eh? Well GAME ON!!!"
What about the kid?"
"Woooo, GrazeDigger! Crush 'em! SMASH 'em!"
"...she'll be fine."
Wading sneaks out of her seat, although just getting up and leaving didn't matter, she was THAT into the event, and trots off to face-
"Hold it right there, NG! It's superpony rules that the hero/heroine give a proper introduction to their arch-nemesis!"
Alright, alright. Go for it.
"This is the story of my arch-enemy, Stitch Punk. Flashback noises!"
Wooo0oo000oo00o0o
"Once upon a time, there was a pony named Spin Top, an intelligent famous toymaker whose inventive playthings and silly riddles entertained foals for years until things like wooden trains and puppets went considered 'old-fashioned'. He tried desperately to search for the materials to create the next best toy in Equestria, stumbling upon a mystical gem that transformed him into a meany stuffed pony doll. Going by the name 'Stitch Punk', Spin Top creates dangerous toys in order to fulfill his new life's purpose: To ruin everypony's good time.
"Enough explaining already! What's the clue card say?!"
"Alright...it's two symbols:"
"A trophy and a door.
P.S. I hate you. ;p"
"W-Well, we hate you too! NYAH!"
"Enough sarcasm! What does this all mean?!"
"Well all we know for sure is that it has something to do with a trophy."
"Hm. A door is on the wall....and they lead to a...room."
*Tick tock, Tick Tock, Tick Tock*
"Oh my realization, the trophy room! Let's save this party!"
"Not that much of a party, actually."
The masked mare gallops through the crowd of riled up ponies. The occasional hunks of wood and tires would fly throughout the stadium. She finally makes it to the trophy room's entrance where two stallions are guarding.
"CUPCAKES!!! How're we gonna get in the-"
Pinkie's smirk grows wider and wider.
"NO!"
"Now's a perfect time."
The cheeky mare pulls out a blue cube with a blinking red button.
"We haven't worked out the kinks! It's not time and why am I even protesting we all know you're gonna do it anyway."
PP pushes the button and tosses the beeping contraption at the stoic guards. They seem to take the bait...at least I think they did. It's hard to tell with those sunglasses. Then all at once, strobe lights beam out all directions, polka music blaring loud, and multicolored smoke fills the area until...
*POP*
"My eyes!"
"So...much...color!"
The two stallions are COVERED in paint, glitter and, of course-
"CONFETTI!!!"
"The Celebrationator! Best...new...weapon...EVAH!!!"
Pinkie enters the building behind the occupied guards. Inside is a grand room filled with trophies, medals, ribbons and plaques won in past events.
"Sweet Celestia, this place is HUGE!"
"I don't know. Show yourself, Stitchy!"
"Oh, Pinkie. How can I refuse a request like that?"
Out from the highest shelf in the room emerges the deranged doll himself.
"Ta-da! Here I am, your favorite evil toy. Up for another game of tag?"
"This is NO game!"
"I am the sworn protector of the city's parties!"
"You are the sworn protector of the city's parties, then I am their sworn CRASHER! And we'll keep playing this little game until I ruin everypony's good time, starting with this derby trophy!"
"But what will stealing the prize trophy do anyway? Only the best cart out there needs it when it wins."
"And that's why I'm gonna destroy this, and then it'll be a tie and nopony would feel like a winner!"
"Slow day for villainy, isn't it Stitchy? Doesn't really make that much sense. And that's coming from ME!"
"No, it's a totally foolproof well thought out evil plan! I'm very complex...you know you really can suck the fun out of our encounters."
He claps his plush hooves together, somehow echoing throughout the building. Soon, a burly wooden griffon soars through the room and lands near Stitchy. Another one of Punk's inventions. A fearsome splintery creature named...Gary.
"Gary, old chap, can you be a lamb and take care of our little pest problem. That'd be great."
"HRM!"
Gary jumps from the shelf and lands on his sharp paws/talons, his face full of hatred and vengeance.
"Have fun you too!"
He skips away, trophy in hoof, leaving PP at the mercy of the monstrous toy.
"Heeey, Gary! How are things?"
"HRM!"
"Still not getting paid well enough, even though it's questionable WHERE the bits come from?"
*sigh* "Urm, urm."
"Still mad I party cannoned your tail off?"
*CLANK*
"Oh. I see you've upgraded. Heh."
Gary charges at her with murderous intent, bearing his sharp talons. As swift as deflating balloons, PP dodges the enraged monster.
"I think he deserves a GIFT for all he's done. Wink, wink."
"Now's not the time for...Ooooh!"
The sugar-fueled super reaches into one of her pockets and brings out a cake with Celestia knows how many candles on it.
"CONGRATULATIONS GARY! YOU GET A CAKE FOR DOING A GREAT MINIONING JOB!!!"
The action catches Gary off guard, whose eyes widen at the sight of the tempting treat. He approaches the dessert, drooling an insane amount of tree sap.
*shudders* "That is SO unsettling."
Gary attempts to blow out the candles, the flames continue to burn bright. He tries again. No go.
"Almost forgot, wooden TOY. No lungs!"
"Oops! Let me get that for ya."
With a deep inhale, Pinkie blows the flames out-
*FWOOM*
Now's her chance. PP wall jumps to the highest shelf. Gary tries to catch up, but his wings burn out mid-flight and lands helplessly on his back.
"That seemed a little too easy. Didn't even use the tail..."
Pinkie zooms through a trophy filled hallway towards the sunroof. As she pops out into the blinding sunlight, atop the stadium, PP spots her target doing the tango with the prize.
"Heeey, not on the first date, Stitchy!"
Stitchy notices her.
*sigh* "Biscuits! This is why you don't choose griffons over DRAGONS!"
Stitchy swallows the trophy whole, leaving a bulge in his torso.
"So.....it's come to this?"
"I guess it has."
She pulls out a tall balloon in the form of a sword and aims it at her fluffy foe.
"Oh. This is my favorite bit: the sword fight! I see how it is. But let's make this interesting..."
He reaches down his throat and pulls out a little cannon filled to the brim with fireworks.
"Oooh, cupcakes..."
"Come, Pooly. Come dance with me!"
"How much do you have down there?"
"The less you know, the better. I guess I really AM a 'stuffed' animal!" he quips.
Pinkie shakes her head and gives him a disapproving look.
*groan* "You call yourself the 'funniest mare in Manehattan', and you can't appreciate a good pun?"
"We would if it WAS a good pun!"
"You know, this just doesn't feel organic anymore. Look I'm just gonna blast you now." he groans, firing a cracker, and narrowly missing the hero. Pinkie turns heel and runs the opposite direction.
"Ooh, I LOVE this part! Hide n' Seek it is, then."
Pinkie ducks past the unsuspecting crowd, towards the spectator's tower. As she climbs the tall exterior, a stray cracker grazes her hind legs throwing her off-balance.
"You can't escape me, Pooly! It's about time you're 'IT'!"
He fires another, only this time, Pinkie was ready. She holds out her "sword" and deflects the incoming projectile. It flies in the center of the stadium and goes off. "Oohs" and "aahs" can be heard around. Pinkie catches herself and uses her outstretched arms to fling herself through the tower door.
"Laws of physics be darned!"
Thank baked goodness no security was around. Probably searching for the trophy. Cornered, Pinkie pulls out her balloon swor-
*POP*
...well so much for that!
"Whatarewegonnadothere'sacrazydollwithfireworkstryingtoblastusand-"
*SMACK*
"Get a hold of yourself, mare! We'll get through this! And I have a plan:
HIDE!"
"You're a voice! How were you able to-"
"HIIIDE!!!"
"Way ahead of you!"
A few seconds go by when the sound of the door creaks open.
"Come on out, Pinkie. Game's not over yet!"
Stitchy enters the room and spots a fluffy pink tail hanging in the bin. He approaches it with a malicious smile.
"Let's see today's chore list...ok...take out the trash. Got it!"
He aims the cannon in the bin to find...leftover cotton candy.
"Heh. Well played, Pinkie! The ol' fake out."
"One of my favorites." her voice echoes.
*sigh* "It pains me to do this, Pooly."
"Nopony's forcing you, Stitchy!"
"You're the only one that gets me. And I know you feel the same way about me."
"Not TRUE!"
Pinkie pops out and grabs the cannon. The two rivals soon engage in a round of tug-of-war.
"I know you, Pinkie! We are the same! You are the sun and I am the moon."
"Those aren't the same."
"T-they're both round things! I- you know what I mean!"
As they struggle to get their hooves on the weapon, they begin spinning around. Faster and faster and faster and....faster.....and faster...
*THUD*
"Look what you did! You made the narrator pass out!"
"Only if you'd let go!"
"No, you let go!"
"No you!"
"NO, YOU!"
"No yo-" he stops.
"Nope! We're not doing this!"
"Doing what?"
"You know, that routine where you trick somepony into doing what you want."
"...yes we are."
"No we're aren't!"
"Yes we are."
"NO WE AREN'T! NOW TAKE THE CANNON BECAUSE I'M LETTING GO AND THAT'S FINAL!!!"
"Okie Dokie Lokie!"
Stitchy feels proud of himself. Until it hit him...
*POW*
...literally.
"FUDGE BUCKETS!!!"
The firework collides with Stitchy, who belches the trophy out, launching him out of the back window and into the nearby city's park. The rocket explodes, sending his burnt form plummeting into the park's lake. Within a few seconds, Stitchy floats to surface.
"Pinkie-Pool, I shall retu-*gurgle* Ew. This water is DISGUSTING! Oh no it's got in my mouth it'sgotinmymouth! Gary! Gar-*gurgle*"
Gary, meanwhile, is busy flirting with an inanimate statue to care.
"Game...set...match."
YEAAAAAAAAAH!!!
"Darn I wish we had some shades!"
After putting the trophy back where it belongs, our hyped up heroine returns to her seat where an ecstatic Babs is still on the edge of her seat.
"Oh, Wading you missed it! GrazeDigger just flipped over some chump! It was awesome and-"
Pinkie continues listening to the excited filly until something catches her eye: a...a steering wheel? And it's...hurling towards BABS! Pinkie brings out a comically large party horn, leaps out of her seat and blows it. The horn unravels and wraps the wheel in it's grasp and rolls back up to her. Pinkie lands on her seat and presents the hunk of debris to the awestrucken child.
"That...was...AWESOME!!! You were all *whistle* and the wheel was all 'dun dun dun dun dun' and-"
"Note to self: Apologize to everypony for yapping off like this filly here."
Author's Note
No piñatas were harmed during the making of this story.
"-and then Graze Digger flipped these other two chumps and crushed another, and splinters were EVERYWHERE! And then-"
"At this point, watching paint dry doesn't sound too torturous."
*gasp* "Oh come on! It's not that bad. She's cute when she's this ecstatic."
"Too bad she has to go home soon, or else she would've made a great superpony partner."
"The foreshadowing levels are uncanny..."
We see the party protector of parties, Pinkie-Pool as she walks a yammering Babs out of the stadium, contemplating partycannoning herself.
"Let's just find her home and get this over with. I could go for a chimicherry right about now."
"That does sound good at the moment, surprisingly."
"Alright, alright. First thing's first. Getting this birthday filly home."
While reaching Babs' apartment, Wading decides to get a rating...from a filly!
"How sad is THAT?"
"Hush! I do the breaking here!"
"Sooo Babs? On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate this birthday?"
"A WHOPPING 12/10, OF COURSE!!! Nopony's ever given me a birthday quite like this!"
"I'm glad you liked it! Best party planner in Equestria!"
The two ponies eventually reach the building. As Babs opens the door, a HUGE herd of small housepets come flooding out the door.
"Oh don't worry about that. Happens all the time, strangely EVERY time I open this door."
[Obvious Hey Arnold reference is obvious.]
"So. I guess this is goodbye."
"I-I'm not really good with goodbyes so...let's just say 'See ya later, alligator!'"
"Hey! I had a pet alligator once! His name was Gummy!"
"Oh, I miss that scaly scamp!"
Babs chuckles at your remark and embraces the party mare in a tight hug.
Although it seemed she's using Wading as cover.
"Thanks again, Wading. I had a great time. But DON'T tell anypony about this! I'm already a blank flank as it is."
Wading rubs her hoof on her mouth gesturing the 'my lips are sealed' motion.
"I Pinkie promise."
As the sup- *sigh* Do I HAVE to read this?
"Yes! ALL of it!"
*GROANS*
As the super secret, super awesome, supercalafragilisticexpealadocious superpony-
"Now THAT'S much better!"
[Why am I writing this?]
-trudges through the late, busy streets of Manehattan, the sound of collapsing concrete can be heard underground.
The sewers to be exact.
*shudder* "We are NOT going down the-"
"TOO LATE!!!"
Donning her mask, Pinkie-Pool drops into the dimly lit corridors of the sewer. Suddenly the faint sound of agonizing groans breaks the silence.
As Pinkie gets closer and closer to the victim in need, she spots a bruised stallion under a pile of rubble.
"My sweet Celestia! Are you alright?!"
"I-I'm fine. I- *sigh* I can't do this Bronzus. It's beneath me!" the stallion says as he rises from the wreckage with ease.
Soon the wreckage collects itself and forms a pony.
"I know this is awkward." the debris remarks as she turns into a gray coated mare.
"What the- *gasp* I should've known something's fishy!"
Pinkie looks at the rushing river of unmentionables.
"Eh, no pun intended."
"Yes it was. He's the one writing the story."
"Oh come now, team. We needed a pony 'in distress' to lure her here." says a stallion made of bronze metal.
"I've told you before Bronzy and I'll tell you again:
I'm...NOT-"
"Interested? That you're 'a lone timberwolf that works alone on a lone island with a lone statue of loneliness'? Is that about right P?"
"Exactly! I made extra EXTRA sure to emphasize how lonely I am....that sounded WAY less depressing in my head."
"No it didn't!"
"Aw, would you at least give being a member of Z-Force a chance? We could use the support."
"You're good without me. Stronghold and Rubble are enough aren't they?"
"Well of course! Best team a stallion could ask for. But we hope to accomplish bringing ALL superponies together to fight for JUSTICE!" Bronzus dramatically declares.
"Justice is ALWAYS your answer to everything!
'Hey, what's your favorite hobby?'
'What's your most preferred dessert?'
'What do want in your drink?'
What's with that?!"
"She's kinda right, Bronze. You do use the word 'justice' a lot." Stronghold states.
"At least 100 times a week, MAX." Rubble adds.
[Exposition at it's worst.]
"W-Well, it's supposed to add dramatic effect!"
"Just face it Bronzy, you'll never be Bat-Mare."
Bronzus hangs his head in defeat.
"This is...sorta awkward."
"Alrighty tighty then. I'm about to go and get some cherrychangas, so..."
*sigh* "Fine. We'll make a Z-Mare out of you yet, Pinkie. I guess we'll have to put the bouncy house down."
"You do that. And I'll just- PUT THE WHAT IN THE WHA WITHOUT ME IN THE WHAAAA?!?!"
"Oh, are you referring to the super awesome bouncy house in your training quarters? It's expected to be moved later today." he says mischievously. "But enough about that! We best be on our way. Come along team?"
As the supers exit the sewers, the conflicted candy croaker thinks her next move.
"This sounds like bribery..."
"We HAVE to go! Yah BRIBERY!!!"
"And the other 15%?"
"HEY, WAIT UP!!!"
Pinkie-Pool and her NOT team, Z-Force are in the always trusty BlueBird blimp. They would've gone with 'BlackBird' but that was taken.
There, our hyped hero bonds with the other members-
"Ooh, Stronghold, can I fly the BlueBird now?!"
"Eenope!"
Very poorly...
"Are we there YET!"
"Nooo! It hasn't even been FIVE minutes!"
VERY, very poorly.
"YOU HAVEN'T TRIED A CHIMICHERRY OOOR A CHERRYCHANGA?!?! Well if you did, which would prefer? Chimicherry, Cherrychanga? Chimicherry, Cherrychanga? Chimi-"
"Celestia, help us all."
Eventually, the four ponies reach a small island outside of Manehattan where the famed Fortress of the Z-Force's Solitude resides.
"We're here!"
*POP*
Pinkie dashes through the doors of the mansion, searching for the fabled 'bouncy house'.
While searching the kitchen, she bumps into a stallion in metal attire.
"So, you finally decide to join the cool side, eh Pink?" he asks in a cocky tone.
"Not now, Magne- er, Reflecto! Where's the training room?!"
"Down that hall, through the garden, and to your left. Why'd you ask- and you're already gone aren't ya?"
She was...
Anyway, PP Sonics her way through the garden and takes a sharp left, where she bumps into Bronzus and company.
"Oh, glad you could make it Pinkie!" Bronzus nonchalantly says.
"Bouncy...I need...my BOUNCYYY!!!" she screeches in her demented Rainbow Dash impersonation.
"Just past that door-" is all he could utter before a flash of pink zips right by him and into the training room.
Inside is a large sleek high-tech room of high-techiness. Cannons, armor, weapons, the works.
"This...is the TRAINING ROOM!" Stronghold's voice dramatically echoes.
"And I'M the dramatic one?" Bronzus whispers under his breath.
"This is where we hone our abilities. Don't let the flashy tech distract you."
"Yeah, I had to learn that the HARD way." Stronghold winces, rubbing his flank.
PP, meanwhile, is too busy eyeing her side of the training room:
Inflatable walls and a trampoline floor.
"Pretty impressive, right Pink- Pinkie?"
"Boing! Boing! Boing! This feels RIGHT!"
"This is SO emotionally soothing!"
"Pinkie! Look out for the-"
"Wheeeeeeee-"
*POP*
A boxing glove shaped piñata collides with Pinkie, raining confetti as she falls to the floor.
"Piñata..."
"What-"
"That...was...AWESOME!!! IT'S LIKE A GAME!"
"Yeah, but the point of the 'game' is to not get hit-"
"Take THAT!"
*POP*
A cracked open apple piñata lands in front of the Z-Team.
Meanwhile, at Sweet Apple Acres
The Apple family are harvesting apples until Applejack pauses during her work.
"Uh, Applejack? You a'ight there?" the youngest sibling AppleBloom asks.
"Huh. Oh, A-ah'm fine. Somethin' just felt a little...off."
Author's Note
With Celestia as my witness, not ONE story will be finished without the word 'Confetti' in it!!!
"One hundred and fifty. She smash one hundred and fifty piñatas....with her FACE!"
"I don't know if that's impressive or ridiculous."
"Haha! That was fun, let's do it AGAIN!!!"
"I think that's enough smashing for today, Pink."
"I'll TELL you when I've smashed enough! HYYYAAAA!!!"
Pinkie lunges at Bronzus with ravenous rage.
*CLANG*
She crashes muzzle-first into his metal hoof.
"You're not the Incredible Bulk."
"What happened? Did I Pink out again?"
"Wait, this happened BEFORE?"
"On occasion. It doesn't end well." she shudders.
"The less I know, the better."
"Wooo! I LOVE this place!"
"Well that was easier than expected. I didn't think that would've worked."
"She's Pinkie. Doesn't take that much to convince her."
"And don't you forget it!"
"I think that was an insult."
"How?"
*whispers*
"Heeeeeyy!"
Suddenly, the sound of a deafening alarm fills the room.
"INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT! BREAK IN AT THE STORAGE FACILITY!"
"Well team, he's at it again." Bronzus says in annoyance.
"Who's at it again?"
Before she could finish her sentence, the group of supers dash out of the training room.
[At the Library]
Pinkie catches up to the team to find the damaged charred remains of what used to be a bookshelf/facility's entrance.
Out of nowhere, Reflecto comes soaring out of room before crashing into the wall, beaten and bruised.
"Reflecto! Are you alright?!"
"Ugh, yeah I'm good. I tired him out for ya!"
Pinkie rolls her eyes and gallops off with the others.
Inside, the team encounter a mechanized dragon who is tearing away at every crate, capsule or exhibit it sees. Strapped to the center of this behemoth's barrel is a stallion in a red metal suit.
"What monstrosity is that?!"
"An improvement over a wooden griffon, that's for sure."
The beast turns and spots the four.
"Oh. Greetings Z-Force! Just doing my weekly 'shopping' is all." he maliciously comments.
"You'll never find the Crystal of Immeasurable Power!"
"Honestly, the fault is on you guys. If the words 'Immeasurable Power' are in your possessions, chances are somepony might wanna steal it."
"He's not wrong."
"Who ARE you, fiend?"
"Who am I? Who am I?! My little pony, I. Am. BLADE!!!" he bellows overdramatically.
"Worst. Title drop. Ever."
"Wait! Aren't you that 'supervillain' in Trotham City on the PC side of Manehattan? Except your an obvious ripoff of me and, ya know...half of your face is black, and you have swords. Pretty boring."
"Boring?! My outfit, like, rocks! You're just a goofy clown that's a WAY less cooler version of me. Plus, I've been terrorizing this city for years LONG before you were born. PC has more interesting villains than Marble! And swords are always AWESOME!"
"I wasn't born yesterday!"
"Hm, no matter. When I find that crystal, I'll be the most powerful stallion in-"
We'll spare you the dialogue.
"Booooored. So boooored!"
Without warning, Pinkie chucks a Celebrationator at the yapping villain, only for it to be caught in the dragon's claws.
"Aw, how cute. What's in it, a balloon animal? A birthday cake or how about a-"
*BOOM*Come on everypony smile smile smile
It was glorious. Pink paint blinds the metal lizard, knocks Blade on 'Smile' was playing on repeat and, of course, there was a LOT of-
"Confetti! It was CONFETTI! You're really bad at this game."
"Charge, team!"
Bronzus, Stronghold and Rubble use their combined strengths to tackle the dragon to the ground.
"Guys, it's not hug time yet!"
Suddenly, a sword slices the very tip of PP's mane off.
"Let's play a game."
"Yah! Now you're getting it! What is it?!"
"Tag, and you're IT!"
Another sword grazed her muzzle.
"Well, you better start RUNNING! Hyaaa!" she says pulling out her mallets.
The two rush at each other in a cinematic fashion so epic, I don't have the time, money and patience to animate it and have lesser known ~~people~~ ponies halfassedly narrate it.
Like me...
The battle between two legendary individuals, whose skills are the stuff of legend, was a legendary confrontation that will last-
*SHING*
For ten seconds. Eleven, tops.
But that's what happens when you use RUBBER mallets instead of viable weapons against sharp steel.
"I wanted to be SPONTANEOUS!!!"
"Who is she talking to?"
The whole Z-Force stop their assault on the dragon and turn their attention to Blade.
"She's Pinkie-Pool."
"We don't question her..."
"EVER."
"Oh, so NOW they get it?!"
"That's right! I can take you down with just a cup of water." she says holding said cup.
"And just how do you do that?"
"Like THIS!"
PP splashes water into her opponent's face pulls a comically huge boxing glove out of thin air and uppercuts him in the wall.
"Hay-douken!!!"
The enraged stallion recovers and decides to spice things up a bit.
"This next one's gonna BLOW your mind!" he states.
"Hey, I do the puns! You- WHOA!"
She's interrupted by an oncoming BOMB!
Woah, woah woah, wait a minute. You can't use that kinda stuff, guy!
"Well why the buck not?!"
Pinkie points to the ceiling. There, Blade spots the problem.
TV-Y
"Oh. Well if you just add a '7' on there, everything'd be fine."
Sorry. Have to live with it.
"He's right."
The Z-Force and even the dragon nod in agreement before continuing to kick each other's flank.
*groan* "Fine! Turning somepony into stone and shattering them is foal-friendly but bombs that haven't caused harm yet? Blasphemous. But what the one I just threw a minute ago?"
"I don't know, where is it anyway? And who's cupcakes are burning?"
Um, yours.
"Oh no."
Suddenly, Pinkie starts writing in a book and the bomb freezes where it stands, the fuse a centimeter away from going off.
"Okay, what was that?"
"The script, silly!"
"The wha?"
Soon, Reflecto staggers in.
"Hey team. Did you stop Blade ye-"
"And then the bomb attatches itself to Reflecto because he's SUPER magnetic and SUPER annoying!" she says scribbling on the pages.
"I resent that!"
The bomb levitates high and sticks to the stallion.
"Pinkie!" Bronzus protests.
"Just kidding! Mostly. It instead fades from existence." she adds.
*POOF*
"While that's all fine and dandy, we do have a legendary battle to continue. What weapon can I use that is AWESOME, effective and 'foal-friendly'?"
"I GOT IT!!!"
Pinkie starts writing in the script ferociously and soon whoopie cushions and water balloons replace all the explosives strapped to his barrel.
"Ugh, enough of this nonsense! You're so ANNOYING! Dragon, here!"
The mecha-dragon tosses the super team aside and slinks to its master.
"Not so fast beast!"
Reflecto uses all the magnetic energy hoohaw he could and knocks the dragon through the wall and off the cliff of the mansion.
"It's no use! The thing's skin is made of pure adequatium."
"Super durable. I took EXTRA precautions to ensure your defeat, but obviously didn't work out well. But I WILL find that crystal's around here somewhere."
"Um, could it be behind that paint-covered door labeled 'Top Secret'?" she points out.
"PINKIE!!!"
Blade spots the door and facehoofs himself.
"Seriously, dude? Out of ALL the things you've demolished, you didn't think once to try that?! *sigh* This is getting out of hoof, I'll do this myself."
"Pink, what are you doing?!"
The unrealistically oblivious Blade trots towards the door.
"I'm serious, henchpony season is terrible this year! You can never find good help around he-"
Opening the door, he sees a pair of giant metal wings displayed on the wall.
"W-What is this piece of junk?!"
Pinkie reveals a red button.
"Thank you for flying Air Pool! And remember to SMILE!!!"
The wings begin to flap erratically, bouncing against the walls before colliding with Blade sending flying out of the hole in the wall and into the horizon.
"Three...two...one..."
"I'LL GET YOU, PONKO POOOOOL!!!"
"The name...is Pinkie Pool!"
"Right on cue."
"Went for the wings. Impressive." Rubble says.
"Although, where'd you get the remote? Unless..."
Bronzus frowns.
"So YOU'RE the one! We should've known.
Pinkie chuckles nervously.
"It may have been a small miniscule tiny little itty bitty bit of a prank. But, if you REEEEEALLY think about, having a pair of unstable prototype wings wreaking havoc on a daily basis is pretty funny."
The team gives her disapproving looks.
"Oh come on, you can't completely blame me! I'm still a little peeved mad at Timberwolverine for replacing me with a goofball who can't talk!"
Ugh. We're still trying to blow past that."
"Tried to tell 'em. Making her silent was a terrible move." Reflecto retorts.
"Can we all just agree that she was better than the Fanatic Four?"
Everypony shudders at the mere mention of the name.
Out of nowhere, the dragon crawls it's way back into the room.
"AH, CELEBRATE!!!" she screams as she tosses a Celebrationator down the beast's throat.
The dragon revs up for a fire blast until-
*BOOM*Come on everypony smile smile smile
Instead of scalding hot flames, confetti, paint and glitter leak out of its mouth.
Reacting on instincts, Pinkie reaches for the script.
"'And then the Celebrationator's effects turns the scary dragon into a good guy, because that's what happens in this world: rushed redemption.'"
Soon, the beast smiles as its color changes from dreary silver to baby blue. It turns its attention to Reflecto.
"Don't. Even. Think about-"
*SLUUUURRRP*
"Ugh, my mouth was open!"
"I'm gonna call him...Dragonflap!"
"How long it'd took you to come up with that?"
"JUST NOW, YAH!!!"
"I'd say your first mission is a success, PP."
"Does that mean...? she asks expectantly.
*sigh* "Yes, we can have a party."
"WOO! I think I can get used to this Z-Force thing."
"Can somepony get this dragon off me?!" Reflecto asks.
"First, this dragon's name is Dragonflap. Second, you're the one with the magnetic powers. Stop being...attractive."
"Oh. You think I'm attractive, Pinks?"
"Don't push your luck."
Suddenly, the Z-Force's unnecessarily humongous communications screen goes off as a blue stallion appears.
"Incoming call from Captain Equestria!" Rubble states.
On the screen, the stallion is in the middle of an insanely intense battle going on.
"Z-Force! Calling all Z-Force! Cap here! I'm at the docks. I need- wait you actually got Pinkie on your team?!"
"Yep. Impressive, I know."
"What's the emergency?"
*BOOM*
"Well, it's a code 219!"
"What are they doing?"
"What's the deal?"
"Alright team, this is not a drill! This is not a DRILL! Oh you're gonna love this Pinkie. Every year we have a Saddle War!"
"Saddle wha?" she says in confusion.
"A Saddle War is something we participate in ever since the Captain Marble/Kazaam incident."
W-What was the Captain Marble/Kazaam incident?"
"Same super names." Stronghold adds.
"And we're trying to prove we are the better superponies!"
Soon, the whole team equip themselves with armor and jet packs. As they prepare to take off at the launching bay, Bronzus turns to Pinkie.
"You coming or what?!" he yells through the outside winds.
"This is your fight, not mine!" she retorts.
"Come on! It'll be epic!"
"Do you know what's at stake here?!"
"You're just fighting over a name. What could possibly be at stake?!"
"I heard Green Canterlot had her eye set on those cherrychangas of yours!"
"Ahora que?!"
"I take that as a yes?"
"Dólar sí! Ella pagará!"
Pinkie dashes for the spare jetpack and joins the rest of the team.
"Easily manipulated. Bronzus whispers to Stronghold who hoof bumps him.
Before Z-Force takes off, Dragonflap saddles over to Reflecto with the dreaded puppy dog eyes.
"Fine, you can come too, I guess." he says annoyed.
The giddy dragon also joins the group and they soar out of the mansion.
"Para el cherrychangas!!! Ruidos de guerra!"
Eventually, Z-Force arrives at the Manehattan Docking center where a full on battle between Marble and PC heroes takes place.
As they land, a mare in Glow-Pasgardian attire crashes before them, lightning surging through her veins.
"Gor! Are you alright?!"
"I'm fine. Super-Mare trick shotted me. She's lucky I didn't invoke Rag-in-a-rock!" she fumes, slamming her axe into the ground and zapping back into the confrontation.
"What's Rag in a rock?"
"It's best you don't know." he shudders.
"I'm getting a feeling we will when times get dire."
Soon, the team duck behind a conveniently large dock barrier as a huge crate breaks into a pile of splinters against Dragonflap's chest, angering him. He snorts his flames and throws himself into the battle, going one-on-one with Solomon Pony.
"That's my dragon!" Reflecto yells proudly.
The rest of the team give him an 'are you serious' look.
"W-What? He is! M-Makes me look cooler! Buck it, let's just fight already!" he grunts before also jumping into the field.
"Alright. Two piñata bats, a pack of firecrackers and minimum effort!"
"Um, don't you mean 'maximum'?" Bronzus asks.
"Nope! Already taken. Anyways, let's defend the cherrychangas franchise!
Prepararse para su cálculo de cuentas!"
Pinkie flips over the wall and tosses a perfectly wrapped blue present at Bat-Mare.
"What is this foolishness?" she says in a gruff tone.
"How come her voice hasn't given out yet?!"
"Just a present, Batsy!" Pinkie squeaks.
"I am NOT opening that."
"Yes, you will."
"NO, I'm not!"
"No you won't!"
"Yes I will!"
The Duped Crusader opens the box with her Batmarang.
*POP*
The party cannon literally blows the mare into a nearby warehouse with confetti.
"Haha! Why so serio-"
[
"Okay, Fable? Come here for a moment?"
"What do you want now, Pool?" the half-metal stallion says annoyed.
"Oh nothing. Hey what's that?!"
*CLONK*
Expecting him to turn, she punches him in the jaw. It was both a terrible and ineffective idea.
"....ow."
"Are you trying to steal my time pad again?"
"Trust me, it's for a good cause! Can't you see our story's gone?!"
"This story's too silly for it's own good. About time we start over and actually make good stuff. It's probably best if we let-"
"Do you WANT to be in Z-Force: Origins Part 2?"
"Oh buck no. Just take it already." he says slightly shaking.
Pinkie takes the small device and turns the dial 2 minutes back.
In a flash, she's back to whooping Bat-Mare's flank.
"Haha! Why...did you agree to be in BvS?!" Pinkie struggles to quip.
"Don't bring THAT up!" Super-Mare yells grazing Pinkie's tail with her laser vision.
She dodges the beam and almost falls off the dock. As she regains her balance, the ocean sparks her mind.
"By the way, where's Aqua-Mare?"
Suddenly, said superpony leaps out of the water and onto the pier.
"Right here-" *gasp* she exclaims before clutching her throat and jumps back into the water.
Moments later she jumps right back on the pier.
"Hoo, okay. NOW I'm-" *gasp*
She falls in the water once again.
"She's a little...preoccupied at the moment."
"But anyways...WHAT THE BUCK S.M.?! YOU COULD'VE TURNED ME INTO ROASTED MARSHMALLOWS!!!"
"Yeah, that was kinda intense." Bat-Mare groans, staggering out of the warehouse.
"BULK SMASH UGLY RED CAPE! YEAAAHH!!!" a voice echoed.
Then, an extremely buff green stallion, the Credible Bulk, lunges through the air and knocks Super-Mare to the ground, severely damaging the concrete.
"Sheesh! Do you guys just find a random public spot and destroy it?!"
"Well this IS the 'Old Abandoned Docks'. It wasn't called that for nothing." Captain Equestria states.
Pinkie turns to see the sign.
Manehattan's Old Abandoned Docks
It's old, AND abandoned
"I stand corrected..."
"Plus, Pony Star bought the place. If only Mandarin Orange wasn't in her way."
Out of nowhere, an orange blur trips Pinkie over.
"What was that?!" she screams.
As she stands up, the same blur knocks her on her flank once again.
"Could it be...?"
The red blur circles around her before stopping dead center in front of her. Instead of seeing an old friend, she's greeted by...
A Fastsilver knockoff.
"Nope. Just your friendly neighborhood Crash!" he says cockily.
"Um, EXCUSE me?!" a voice screams.
Then, Spider-Mare swings in and webs Crash's muzzle shut and his hooves to the floor.
"Sup guys." she says.
"Hello...Me 2.0." Pinkie teases.
"You know I have the best one-liners, Pinks!"
"You're lucky you're on Marble's side." she says through gritted teeth.
Spidey is then whipped in the side by a glowing rope belonging to Wonder Equine herself.
"Hey, hey! Watch the stuff, lady!" she screams.
Bulk charges and jumps at the A-mane-zonian warrior, who easily brings the brute down with her 'Lasso of False Lies'.
"Uhn! I...like...to...GROW FLOWERS!!!" Bulk groans out loud.
"Aw, how cute." she chuckles.
Spider-Mare pops up and tosses a tiny capsule at Wonder Equine that explodes in a sea of webs, trapping her.
"Now THAT was cute!" web head adds.
Suddenly, a goofy looking group of heroes show up on top of the warehouse.
"Mind if we joined?" a colt in the group asks dramatically.
Everypony in the area freeze in there tracks.
Bat-Mare looked the most frightened.
"Pigeon? Go back to the cave." she demands with an embarrassed smile on her face.
"B-But we wanna help! Why not?!" he whines.
"After that waffle adventure of yours? There's just no coming back from that, I'm sorry." Cap states.
Defeated, the team hang their heads in shame as they take their leave.
"That. Was. Close. Now where were w-"
*BONK*
A giant transparent green hammer slams the mare into pancake.
"Pop, goes the Pinkie!"
The mocking tone and familiarity in the attacker's voice awakens the mare, fueling the fire in her eyes.
"YOU..." Pinkie says with a hint of malice.
She finally spots her target: Green Canterlot herself.
"Hey, Ponko-Pool! Wasn't that a smash?" she cringily quips.
"Gran error."
"I'm sorry, what?" Canterlot says confused.
PP rises to her hoof with a sinister smile plastered on her face. Like lightning, she lunges at the mare who almost ruined her reputation...
It's a long story. A long story that will have me brutally beaten if Pinkie hears me bring it up, that I will zip it.
Green Canterlot retaliates with a trio of bear traps that the Merc with the Marshmallows swiftly annihilates with her piñata bats. GC produces two walls, intending to sandwich the mare in between. Luckily, her blind rage enables her to wall jump through the assault and bicycle kicks Canterlot out of the sky.
"YOU WILL NOT TAKE MY CHERRYCHANGA! AY AY AY AY AYYYYY!!!" Pinkie screams as she pins Canterlot down.
"Ugh, cherry-what?" Canterlot winces.
"AND NOW YOU PLAN ON CHANGING THE NAME?!
The vengeful Pinkie pulls a Celebrationator the size of her head.
"WOAH, WOAH! TAKE IT EASY, US!"
"Buck that! Don't forget to SMILE!"
As she prepares to activate the doomsday device-
"WAIT!" Bronzus yells.
Pinkie's hoof stops a centimeter away from the button and turns to the approaching Z-Force.
"Stay out of this, team! I must save my brand!"
"I lied!"
Meanwhile, at Sweet Apple Acres
Applejack shivers at the dinner table, gaining confused looks from her family.
Back at the docks
"You what?" Pinkie says.
"We did it to bring you here. You know, teamwork and whatnot?" Rubble says.
"Aww, was that all? Okie dokie lokie! Sorry for almost awesoming you Greenie." she says in her usual chipper tone.
"It's fine. To be honest, a cherrychanga sounds kinda weird actually." Canterlot adds.
"Oh no she DIDN'T!"
"WHAT?!" her voice booms, shaking the ground.
Gor uses her axe to ascend to the sky. Said sky is blocked out by dark clouds.
"I knew it."
Super-Mare flies by, grabs Pinkie's Mega-Celebrationator and goes to confront the Glow-Pasgardian.
"Super-Mare! What are you doing?!" Pinkie screams.
Gor's axe flickers and sparks while scattered clouds swirl around it until a large bolt of thunder strikes it. As she sends the legendary current down to ~~Earth~~ Equestria, Super-Mare activates and tosses the Celebrationator towards Rag-in-a-rock.
That combination of What-the-buckery creates a marvel so grand, it makes Rainbow's rainboom look like a balloon popping. Rainbow colored lightning, paint, clouds and more littered the place, including-
"CONFETTI!!!" Pinkie screams.
While she dances around in her handywork, she notices an elderly stallion sitting in a recliner, clapping.
"Mane Lee? What are you doing here?!"
"Why, enjoyin' the fight of course! Really entertaining. Excalibur!" he exclaims.
It was an epic fight, although pretty much EVERY superpony is currently unconscious at the moment.
Soon, two ponies jetpack their way down to the paint covered battlefield, Captain Marble and Kazaam themselves.
"Sweet Celestia, what happened here?!" Kazaam says shocked.
"We celebrated." Pinkie says smugly folding her arms.
The two ponies stare at each other before shaking hooves.
"Draw?" he offers.
"Mmm-hmm." Marble agrees.
"I don't recall seeing you in Marble's hero gallery. Are you new?"
"Eeyup. This is our new Z-Force trainee, Pinkie-Pool."
Captain Marble's eyes widen at the name.
"P-Pinkie?" she whispers.
"How do you know my name?" she asks suspiciously.
Then, CM removes her mask.
"Marble?!"
Author's Note
Bat-Mare: aka Juice Drain
Super-Mare: aka Spark Lit.
Wonder Equine: aka Banana Rinse.
The Crash: aka Berry Almond.
Green Canterlot: aka Val
Aqua-Mare: aka Mercury.
The Pie Rock Farm, home to the stoic Igneous Rock Pie and Cloudy Quartz.
Not the most cheerful place in Equestria.
On this dull farm resides a young mare named Marble Pie, an introverted shy little pony who doesn't say much, unlike her bubbly sister Pinkie.
But she may not be the innocent, silent, timid earth pony that we all know and....I guess love? We barely know anything about this girl and she's somehow considered favorite pony...
Yeah. I don't get it either, folks.
But I digress.
One day, while harvesting ore and crystals from the dust damp caves underneath the farm, the silent mare stumbles across a mysterious glowing, blood red ruby in a hidden section of the cavern. Like anyone EVER, Marble's curiosity gets the better of her and she touches the mesmerizing mineral.
The crystal abruptly becomes one with her and the next day, she exhibits feats of strength, focus and speed. Of course, being a superpony origin story, this has to be kept a secret for....some reason.
Hey, why did she have to keep it a secret, Pinks?
"Limey doesn't take kindly to those stronger than her. Just keep going."
Soon, Marble got the inspiration to create a massive group of coincidently gifted superponies as the one and only 'Captain Marble'...
How creative.
"And that's how Equestria was made!"
All the Marble heroes are at Revenger's Tower, cheering after Kazaam gave the most 'engaging' backstory of their founder.
"Although, how'd you get ALL of that from just 'Mmm-hmms', Kazaam? That's my thing!"
What am I, chopped liver?!
"You learn a few things....once you get to know them." Kazaam states as he and Marble look away, blushing.
"I ship it!"
"Buuut now that THAT'S outta the way, OMC YOU STARTED A SUPERPONY FRANCHISE, HOW IS THAT POSSIBLY?!?!" Pinkie squeaks ecstatically.
Marble shrugs.
"She's....had some close calls in the past, keeping it a secret. Classic Hero 101, Section 5: Home Before Getting Caught. It was kind of a challenging phase for her." he says matter of factly.
"But hey, at least she got through her phase. How about your emo phase, Spider-Mare?" Pinkie chuckles.
Everyone bursts into hearty laughter except for the embarrassed webslinger.
"Ya had to bring that up." she says, face in hooves.
"But I have to ask, how do you get from Manehattan to the farm?"
"Ask her how Saddle Arabia was."
"H-How was-"
Suddenly, Marble zooms out of the building in a gray flash and back with a turban and other attire.
"She thought it was great. Quaint place, nice scenery." Kazaam states.
"Mm, I stand corrected."
Eventually, a few of the super's watches go off.
"Welp, about time I head out. Blue Head's at it again." Captain Equestria says.
"YEAH! BULK HAS FLOWERS- I mean, SMASHABLE STUFF....TO ATTEND TO!!!" he barks as he leaps out of the tower.
"WACOLTA FOREVER!!!" a light gray stallion yells crossing his hooves and jumping out the window.
"Whatever, Black Puma."
Soon, EVERY hero had some 'business' to attend to, coincidently.
"Eh, I have cooler duties to attend to." Spider-Mare says cockily.
"Like what, get rebooted three times?"
"N-No! I just-"
"Patty Packer! Nerd work!" a voice calls excitedly on Spider-Mare's watch.
"C-Coming, Ms. Star!" she says swinging away.
"Remember, don't dance in public again, Spidey!" Pinkie laughs.
Spidey webs her mouth shut as she leaves.
"Mmm, could use some food coloring." she muffles.
That just leaves Marble, Kazaam and the Z-Force.
"It's about time I take my leave. Nice to see you again, 'Captain'." Kazaam says flying out.
Marble bashfully hides her face under her mane with a smile.
"Eeeeee, somepony's got a coltfriend!" Pinkie playfully says.
Before I move on I'm going to add the 'Marble Translator'. Patent pending.
The shy pony brushes it off.
"I'm good. Throwing parties, kicking flanks. The usual."
Marble looks around Pinkie in confusion.
"They're right there. Pretty good team now that I'm a part of it."
Bronzus prepares to protest, only to be stopped by Bronzus.
Marble shakes her head slightly.
Pinkie's smile slowly sinks into a forlorn frown.
*gasp* "Is this...an emotional moment going on here?"
"I have no idea what's going on. Bronzus whispers.
"Let her have this one." Stronghold says.
"Oh. We haven't really...seen each other often." Pinkie says unenthusiastically.
"We've seen THEM, though."
Her sister tilts her head.
"Long story short...
I'm-not-really-Pinkie-Pie-I'm-a-clone-the-real-Pinkie-created-me-and-dozens-of-other-Pinkies!" she blabbers in quick succession.
Pinkie takes a deep breath.
"And-even-though-we-were-having-the-best-fun-the-real-Pinkie-had-all-but-I-poofed-away-and-I-want-to-see-them-so-badly-but-they'll-poof-me-away-so-now-I-have-started-a-new-life-kicking-flank-but-I-already-told-you-that!" she finishes, falling on her face.
Marble stares wide-eyed.
"Did any of you get that?"
"Not. A. Word." Rubble replies.
The founder of superponies walks up to her depressed party-planning clone sister, weird combination of words, and rubs her mane assuringly.
"You know what? You're right! I DO have a supportive team!"
"Well, THAT was a serious change in mood."
A reinvigorated Pinkie wraps Marble and the three members in a tight hug.
"And friends!"
"W-We enjoy you as a member, Pinkie." Bronzus groans.
"You kinda do keep Reflecto in line." Rubble admits.
"You're a riot, Pinks." Stronghold says.
Marble taps her hoof softly.
"Whoopsies! Sorry."
Pinkie releases the group and hops in place.
Marble gives a small smile and waves before dashing off.
"BYE SISTER!!!" Pinkie shrieks. "Let's go home team, that shwarma smell's getting to me."
"I'm glad I'M not the only one who thought that!" Rubble adds hoofbumping the mare.
"Reflecto, you coming?"
"Who's a good metal dragon? You are. You are!" he coos rubbing Dragonflap's belly. "You were great out there!
"HOGARTH, YOU CAN PLAY WITH THE GIANT LATER, LET'S GO!!!"
The not so attractive stallion stands at attention, embarrassed.
As the Z-Force go to leave the tower, something in Star's lab catches Pinkie's eye.
"Oooh, what's that?" she asks, pointing at a metal red suit in a display case.
"That's probably one of Star's prototype suits, appears to be made for Patty. Why?"
The cheeky 'hero' gives a devious grin on her face.
Moments later
"I'm telling you, the whole dance thing was all Denim's doing." Patty says defensively.
"Yeah, sure it was." Star chuckles.
The two trot into the lab when Pony Star spots the empty display case. There, a note is attached to the glass.
"I believe this is for you."
Star passes the note to Patty.
I promise not to throw it away more than twice in my franchise! XOXO
~P
"PINKIEEEEE!!!"
The Mare with the Marshmallows swings through the busy streets of Manehattan in the iron mare suit.
"Did you guys hear something?" she asks.
"The sound of a quip war happening in the future."
Pinkie and the team fly through the city towards the mansion for cherrychangas.
"Ugh, I don't know. I can't believe I'm saying this, but that shwarma scent made me lose my appetite."
Oh, well...for combat training?
"Do you KNOW how long it'll take to make more of those piñatas?" Rubble says.
Chillaxing?
"That'll work." Stronghold nods.
"Wait, one more thing..."
Pinkie pulls out her party cannon.
*POP*
"CONFETTI!!! Ha! Can't finish a chapter without saying that word."
Are you guys still 'chillaxing' now?
"Yep."
"Of course."
"Eeyup."
"What else would we be doing?"
Hmm, oh, I don't know. Maybeeee.....actual CRIME FIGHTING?! You ARE superponies after all.
"I have an idea!"
P1nK!E st0P m3sS/nG WitH mY LEtT3RZ!!!
"Okie dokie lokie pokie!"
"Our hero, everypony."
*sigh* Where's that script?
"Riiight here!"
Okay, let's see...
-Bake cherrychangas
Pinkie, this is your to do list.
"Oops, sorry let me get that."
She reaches into her pockets and pulls out a piñata shaped like Tirek, year-old Nightmare Night candy, a rubber duck, until-
"You're right here, why are you still narrating?"
Force of habit...
"Oh, okay, then. Here it is!"
Alright, just a few more adjustments. Buck all that, edit THAT aaand...
Suddenly, the sky fast forwards through the night and to the next morning. Eventually, a pigeon flies through the window carrying a scroll and passes it to Bronzus.
"Hm, Mayor Milton 'Frisbee' Disk wants us to show up on Mane Street for the annual city parade this afternoon."
That's MUCH better.
"Killjoy..."
On Mane Street
The city ponies shortly arrive on the street as the police block off the surrounding roads for the event. Foals were shaking in anticipation, security was...adequately tight, and comic geeks waiting to spot their 'Best Superpony'.
"If I'm not in there, I'm raising Tartarus!"
"Who are you talking to?"
"None of your business, Reflecto! Let's go!"
The Z-Force gear up for their appearance in the parade that is MOST certainly, 100% positively not gonna get crashed in the slightest.
"You're not even TRYING are you?"
"Okay, we'll just fly over the balloons a few times, do some air tricks, and then- Pinkie what are you doing?" Bronzus asked.
"Taking my tricycle. Somethin' wrong with that?"
"I-It's a tricycle. Not really the most SUPER way to appear." Rubble states.
"ExCUSE me?! This is the
"Pinkie, I'm not sure if-"
"TOO LATE!"
She hops on the 'C.U.P.C.A.K.E' and pedals off in the blink of an eye.
"Let her go." Stronghold huffs. "She's Pinkie."
The rest of the team board the BlueBird and fly off into the city while the pink menace takes the ~~long~~ super mega fun way.
Pinkie, this isn't the Emperess' New Jam.
"I REGRET NOTHING!!!"
Meanwhile, in the 'Bad Guy Check #5: abandoned observatory', a brown stallion watches the parade unfold with his Baddy Check #17: 'dumb as buck henchponies', Patsy 1 and Patsy 2. Soon, his walkie buzzes to Baddy Check #63:
"Is your team in position?"
"Affirmative, sir."
"Excellent."
'Secret Boss'.
"Yo, trainee." he calls out in the walkie.
"Roger, boss?"
"Who's Roger?" he says to himself. "A-Anyways, you're up today."
"Oh that is superly duperly fantastic to here! What to wear, what to wear! Maybe a green- NO a red!"
"Just hurry!"
"Oops, alrighty!"
"Ugh, all these sugar fueled kids annoy me so." the boss groans.
"Heh, I feel your pain. I hate sugar."
As Pinkie zigzags through the streets, her mysterious Pinkie sense throws her off...
Of the bike, screaming.
"Pinkie, is everything alright down there?" Bronzus calls on her earpiece worried.
"I-I'm good! I just felt...a disturbance." she pants.
She gets back on and rides off.
"I think it's about time I kick into my super jams. GET IN THE ZONE!"
Pinkie pushes a button on the C.U.P.C.A.K.E.
"Let's hit it!"
Eventually, she reaches the blocked off roads and hurdles over every single one.
"Where are the police at this time?
"Smart Me, you're over thinking things. Everything'll be fi-"
A group of masked stallions on a nearby building carrying small crates catches her eye.
"O-Or maaayybe you could be-"
"Abso-bucking-lutely right!"
"Whatever, you're lucky you're a disembodied voice."
Pinkie turns a corner and leaps onto an Angry Curds float, gaining curious looks from the audience. She launches herself and the C.U.P.C.A.K.E off their trademark slingshot and flies over the crowd and lands on the building's roof.
As she ascends, a spray can falls from her belt and catches the attention of little Babs Seed.
"H-Hey, ya dropped your can!"
Yeah, like she'd hear her from that high.
"Surprise, bad guys!"
The four criminals jolt in shock.
"What is this?" one of them asks.
"I believe this is called a...'con-fron-ta-shun'?"
"Get the super!"
Pinks pedals to the metal- er, plastic, and rushes at Baddy Check #18: 'the charging, POWERLESS henchponies'. With enough speed, she spins the tricycle into a wheelie that slugs a stallion in the jaw as she jumps and tackles another. She hammers a balloon into his face, flips over and lands on one's mane and tugs at his hair, making him punch himself silly.
"HA! IT ACTUALLY WORKED! THANK YOU RAT-PATOOTY!!!"
Funny how, out of ALL this acrobatic skills, not ONE enemy falls off the building.
"Rated E, remember?"
Yeah, but remember the Incredible Bulk game? He slammed a freakin' train car on somepony! It's a faaaamily game.
"Yeah...it was rated 'F' for Foals and everything."
"Whatever, obscure references can be such a PAIN!" she says, striking the last enemy to the ground. "Hoo! Great way to start off your mornings."
"Patsy #4, come in. Where are ya guys with the gear?"
Pinkie hops over and grabs the henchpony's walkie.
"On the way, boss." she mimics the stallion's gruff voice perfectly. "But uh, hypothetically speaking, where would we be taking this stuff?"
"Ugh, we went through this a hundred times, if the building looks old and/or abandoned, I'm most likely there. Sweet Celestia, DERP-3 would make a better help."
"Duh, 'kay. See ya then."
"Wow. That was on point."
Pinkie clears her throat.
"Bow to me, for I have CHEESE legs! Aren't they just GOUDA!"
The three giggle their flanks off as they locate the boss.
At the hideout
"Yes sir, we're right on schedule...yes, Mr. Snuffy's been fed today...no I'm not PLAYING with it!" he says, holding a crystal that shrinks a mug on the table.
Suddenly, there's a knock at the door.
"There they are. Gotta go, boss."
When he opens the door, however-
"Special delivery, friend!"
A wall of confetti bursts through the door, throwing the stallion against the wall.
"Let's get it started in here!"
"Who are you?" he winces.
"I'm Pinkie-Pool, who the buck are you?"
"Name's Apex. It WOULD'VE been a pleasure to meet you."
"How co- whoop!"
Pinkie leans back as Apex nearly slices at her with a glowing axe. As he pulls back to attack again, a stray piece of paper falls out of his coat.
"Oh no."
The mare's eyes widen and jaw dropped at first sight of the note.
"Your real name is PRANCES?!"
The superpony bursts into a hysterical laughter, angering the stallion.
"Ha! Priceless!"
He pulls out a crystal and aims it at the mare.
"I can't even say it anymore, I'm sorry!" she wheezes.
"See ya, friend."
The crystal shoots a red beam that engulfs the pony, pushing her through the brick wall itself. As she plummets, her cherrychanga recipe flies out of her pocket and at the hooves of the stallion.
"A piece to remember you by!" he says, pocketing the note.
All the commotion alerts the crowd as Pinkie falls on a float dedicated to Captain Equestria.
"Rookie, you're up." Apex says in the walkie as he flees.
"Aye aye, boss!"
The injured super staggers to her hooves and the crowd cheers. When she stands, her face burns hotter than a thousand suns. To protect her identity, she hides under a paper mache shield, takes off her mask and pulls out a makeup mirror.
"Walk it off! Just WALK IT OFF!!!"
"Maybe...nopony would notice?"
"Y-Yeah, nopony would notice your freak- FACE!"
Soon, the shield melts into a pool as she dons her mask, when she is confronted by a yellow earth pony with a black mask and red suit.
"Hey there, I heard you're a bit of a troublemaker." he says.
"Well THAT'S the understatement of the day."
"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Who are you?"
"I'm Cheesizoid! Member of the League of Ignorant Entertainers or 'L.I.E' for short, and I've been given the greatest task of bringing you in."
"But I didn't do anything wrong!"
"Well, you did
"ALRIGHT, YOU'VE MADE YOUR POINT!" she screams. "Look, Cheesizoid, I don't know who you work for-"
"Neither do I. They just offered me free cheddar with a side of plastic seeds for Boneful here."
Pinkie looks behind him to see a bloated rubber chicken resting on his back with a black mask.
"I see. But I can't let you turn me in so..."
Without warning, she pulls out her cannon and sends the stallion flying into a Haybro themed float, amazing the crowd.
"T-That cannon...so famil-"
Before Cheesizoid could process things, Pinkie comes barreling into him, uppercutting the pony on a tall Trans-morphers statue on the float.
"This is gonna be fun." he chuckles eagerly.
The giddy rookie unrealistically oozes his way into the statue, becoming one with it.
"Uh, team?"
"Yes, Pinkie?" Bronzus chips in.
"Nothing much, just a giant statue of Oblivious Prime is trying to SQUISH ME!" she utters, running from the pursuing behemoth.
"Something you don't hear every day, but we're on it." Stronghold adds.
Eventually, the BlueBird flies overhead as Rubble and Stronghold drop from the ship.
As Prime's about to step on the mare, Stronghold rips off Prime's right limb off as Rubble holds him in place in concrete. Before his arm hits the ground, a yellow ooze clutches it and pulls it back in place.
"Ugh, this is getting ridiculous!"
Rubble turns to cement and slinks her way to his forehooves then to tough stone, doing the whole 'Quit hitting yourself' gag. While he's distracted, Bronzus parks the BlueBird and races towards the giant with Reflecto. The metal super gets a running start as Reflecto uses his 'attractive' powers to fling him full force at the robot's chest, shattering him to pieces. The crowd gives a standing ovation to the show as Cheesizoid morphs back to his normal size, collapsing in defeat.
"THAT was for Shia LaHoof!" Bronzus exclaims.
"Woohoo- ouchie!"
The Z-Force rush to their fallen member, whose wounds take over.
"Pinkie, are you all right!" Rubble asks worriedly.
"I-I'm the prettiest ballerina in the whoooole pickle barrel." she slurs.
"I can't tell!"
"Let's get her back to the mansion."
Cheesizoid tries to stagger off, only to be caught in Dragonflap's toothy grip.
"Oh, you're coming with us." Reflecto says matter of factly.
"Okie...dokie." he sighs.
Everypony jumps aboard as the Mare with the Marshmallows mumbles on.
"Pinkie, rest."
"Come on everypony...smile...smile...smile..."
Then, she passes out.
Author's Note
Google it, you millennials...
You are a millennial, dude!
Zip it!!!
"Manehattan.
"I am Pinkie Clone #33, and I'm the pony this city deserves...wait, wrong hero...My hooves hunger for justice...? No! Anyway, you're probably wondering 'A clone, wha?' Well it all started when-"
"We know the story! Just get on with it already!!!"
"Woah! Who are you?"
"Not a brony reader, that's for sure...!"
"Then...why are you here?"
"Oh, would you look at the time. Gotta GO!"
*Silence*
"Ooookay? Fourth wall breaking inside a fourth wall break. Anyway, like I was saying in my gritty tone:"
"I'm on the run...although I don't really need to worry, THEY don't know I exist. We just wanted to have fun and they blew us up like balloons...not as fun as it looks. Luckily I escaped, too crazy to explain how I did it, the writer's too lazy. I've run into them a few times, but thank Celestia I had my disguise on me. It's REALLY clever. I just paint my mane and tail YELLOW and my coat white. They never noticed! But back on the not-so-tragic backstory."
"I've made a name of myself in Manehattan. No longer am I Pinkie Clone #33. I am...
PINKIE-POOL!!!
Roll those credits!"
"Anyway, I have balloons to blow, cakes to chomp and...poopers to party! Alright narrator that explains in EXTREME detail of what's going on, take it away!"
Pinkie puts on her red mask as she spots five shady stallions breaking into the back of a bank. For a 'city that never sleeps', they sure don't seem to be awake for times like this. But who's complaining? More villains to whack.
"Alright. Minimum effort!"
With two tall inflatable mallets, she leaps off her 'deep thought' tower-
"It's my brooding location. Can't a pony just brood about...something?!"
-and bounces from conveniently placed awning to conveniently placed awning until she lands behind the unsuspecting perpetrators. They're passing bags of bits from one stallion to another until they unknowingly pass one to Pinkie.
"Aww, is it my birthday already?"
The burglars' ignorance got the best of them, and by the time they noticed their mistake-
*SQUEAK*
She strikes the closest robber, knocking him out cold.
For inflatable mallets, they sure do pack a punch. She approaches the rest of the robbers.
"What is this?!"
"Hi! I'm Pinkie-Pool! The pleasure is all SPINE!" she says whacking the two stallions' spines on both opposite ends of her.
She uppercuts another stallion into a trash can and stops right in front of the last one.
"Who are ya, freak?!"
"Didn't you hear me earlier? I'm Pinkie-Pool!!!"
She pulls out a party cannon and fires it. A large boxing glove rockets out and knocks the stallion out cold.
"Now that was a knockout!" PP's mind quips.
"NO! This is MY fic! I do one-liners. Y-you don't get one-liners, Kid Pink!"
The dazed robbers watch in confusion as Pinkie-Pool talks to herself.
"One-liners aren't important at the moment. Completely irrelevant to the task at hoof."
"Who asked you, Smart Pink?! Every superpony has at least ONE one-liner! Whatever, let's finish this up, alrighty tighty?"
"Eeyup."
Eventually, the policemares arrive and find the bags of bits and criminals tied up like a present in front of the bank with a note:
"Dear Police,
Justice is SERVED!
...with a side of whipped cream."
*Pinkie-Pool
"Inner monologue time!"
"In this city, I'm known as the 'Mare with the Marshmallows'. I can practically go out in public in this suit. One time, a filly's mother thought I was a birthday clown and that's when I lived a double life as 'Wading Pool', the funniest mare in Manehattan!"
*BEEP* *BEEP*
"Oh. Time flies when you're kicking flank. I have a nightclub party to get to."
Pinkie-Pool pulls out her party cannon and clings on it. She strikes the bottom and propels her off the building. As she plummets, five balloons pop out and glides her to safety.
"Time jump away, Mr. Narrator guy!"
After a night a crime-free partying, "Wading Pool" rests in her 'Super Duper Cool Super Secret Party Cave of Partying Hideout', under the Statue of Marity, preparing for her next party plan.
"A party planner never sle-"
She faceplants on her desk, passed out.
"Hello? Equestria to Pinkie!"
"SMILE!!! *snort* H-how long was I out?! Are the cherrychangas ready?!"
"Sadly, no cherrychangas. But good news: we have a party that needs Pinking up."
"Oh, right! Almost forgot!"
Wading dashes towards a bulletin board with thousands upon thousands of client's addresses scattered around it.
"Let's see here. Lyra, Harshwhiny, Coco Pommel...AHA! Here we go! This filly's gonna have the greatest...party...EVAH!!!"
She jumps on her cannon a launches herself through a totally not conspicuous entryway out of the large statue. More balloons pop out and the day's winds carry her to shore, into the bustling city. As she nears her destination, Wading spots three little fillies cornering another in an alleyway.
"Looks like we have a Code 546."
"Yep. Meanie bo-beanies!"
"...that's ONE way to call it..."
She deflates a few balloons as she dons her mask. While she slowly descends behind the unsuspecting bullies, she gets an idea.
"Superpony landing, incoming!"
Pinkie-Pool leaps from the cannon and lands HARD on her hind legs.
"Stop it, guys!"
"What're you gonna do about it, Blank Flank?"
"She's about to witness a show!"
The supposed ringleader of the group turns to face you.
"Wha-?" is all she could utter as Pinkie-Pool jumps in the air, grabs her cannon, flips in front of the bullies and blasts them FULL FORCE out of the alley, confetti everywhere.
The balloon animal kit in her suit inadvertently goes off, giving the impression that she was hulking out.
Nyah! Let's get out of here!"
The three bullies run off as Pinkie-Pool deflates and comforts the orange filly.
"You okay, kid?"
"Yeah. Whatsit to ya?" the hurt child says, teary eyed.
Pinkie-Pool gives an intense stern expression, rivaling Fluttershy's 'Stare'.
"But...thanks. I appreciate it." she says more sincerely.
As the little one trots past her, Wading hears her mutter something:"Worst...birthday...ever."
"BIRTHDAY?!?! We HAVE to do something, girl!"
"She looks familiar..."
Pinkie-Pool reaches into her front pocket and pulls out her client sheet.
"I knew it! This must be Babs Seed."
Having a record on EVERYpony in town of their likes, dislikes, etc. she skims through her notes.
Name: Babs Seed Gender: Female Age: 9 Likes: Roller derbys Dislikes: Needles Cutie Mark?: N/A
She looks up from her papers and spots a store, a cart with flames painted on it in the display case. Wading zips across the street, inside the shop. As Babs leaves, she jumps from taxi chariot to taxi chariot as she catches up to her.
"Hey! Wait up, kid!"
"What is it no- *gasp*"
Babs' eyes grow wide and her jaw decided to play a game of HANGmare as Wading presents the model to her.
"I-Is that for me?"
"Suuure is!" she states with a smile.
Before Wading can react she finds Babs clinging to her arm.
"THANK YOU! HOW'D YOU GET THIS?! THIS IS EXPENSIVE! I WAS SAVING UP MY BITS FOR THIS! HOW DID-"
"Is THIS what we sound like sometimes?"
As Wading walks the babbling Babs home, she ponders on how to surprise her at her party since SHE'S the pony planning it.
She notices a billboard.
"Come one, come all to the annual Manehattan Roller Derby Friday Night!!!"
And she knew just how to do it...
Author's Note
Keep in mind this takes place before Babs met AppleBloom.
