You must listen to this ENTIRE SONG while reading this story. If you do not, I will not be held responsible for you sanity dripping out your ears. (I will also not be held responsible for your sanity dripping out your ears if you DO listen to the entire song while reading.)
Derpy Hooves was walking down the street. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Spike came and started walking with her. They walked on for a bit, but then Derpy got bored.
"Spike?" she whispered.
"What?" he asked.
"Can I eat you?" Derpy asked.
Spike laughed. "Of course not!"
But Derpy didn't hear that last word. She jumped on top of Spike and ate him up in one bite. Then she walked to Twilight Sparkle's house.
"Twilight!" Derpy called as she knocked on the door. Twilight opened the door.
"Derpy!" she exclaimed. "Nice to see you! Have you seen Spike anywhere?"
"Yes." Derpy replied. "I ate him. Now I'm going to eat you too."
Twilight laughed. "Yes, I'm sure you did, now if you'll excuse me I have to..."
She was interrupted by Derpy jumping on her and swallowing her whole. Now full, she walked back home and went to sleep. While she slept, Discord snuck into her room.
Ok, now change the music to this and continue reading.
Derpy woke up, and screamed when she saw Discord. He gobbled her up, and he liked the taste so much, he ran around Ponyville gobbling up everypony in sight. Soon, not even Celestia was left, and a few years later Discord died of kidney failure. Equestria became a fairy tale, and billions of years later, strange creatures called humans took over the land. Equestria was never heard of again.
"TWILIGHT!!!!" screamed Pinkie Pie as she flew through the air. Twilight turned around just in time to see Pinkie about to collide with her.
"Oof!" Twilight yelled as Pinkie landed on top of her.
"Uck!" Pinkie gleefully responded.
"Get off of me!!!" Twilight screeched.
Pinkie Pie pinned her down on her stomach. "NEVER!!" she screamed. She tied Twilight up and took her to Sugarcube Corner. When they got there, she threw Twilight into her room upstairs.
"Why am I here?!" Twilight asked. Pinkie Pie just smiled and started singing.
Pinkie Pie's song is here. Please enjoy responsibly.
"TAKING A BUS DOWN TO BOGNOR REGIS! BECAUSE WE'VE HEARD THAT THEY ARE PANDA FREE!!" Twilight stared at her friend like she had two heads.
"THAT MAKES IT SAFE FOR US TO PLANT CUCUMBERS!" Just then, Derpy Hooves jumped out of Pinkie's closet and started singing with her.
"AND THEN SHIP THEM, OVER THE SEA!" Pinkie jumped over Derpy's head.
"PANDAS ARE THE CUCUMBERS ENEMY, THEY ATTACK THEM WITH THEIR FEET!" Pinkie kicked Twilight four times.
"THE CUCUMBER HAS ONLY ONE WAY TO ESCAPE THEM, THAT'S RIDE A GO-KART DOWN THE STREET!" Pinkie picked up Twilight and threw her into the closet. Then Derpy shut the closet door and locked it.
And Twilight Sparkle was never seen again... Until next Tuesday, when she woke up in her own bed, walked out the door, and fell straight into a pile of dragon crap. The dragon crap never came out of her mane, and for the rest of her life the other ponies called her Twilight Shit-face.
The moral of the story is, never eat purple bananas on a Tuesday, or the orange monkey will throw pies at the rooster.
