Lovely Misadventures

Until earlier this afternoon, I had it all. A whole town full of friends, a wonderful marefriend, good standing with the law, and more shit than I can count in the chronically drunken state I've found myself in. That's right. Since Cadence and Twilight lifted my ban on drinking, I was able to pick up a sack full of bottles which I was now tipping back as I aimlessly stumbled around Ponyville. I've relapsed and I fucking hate myself for it.

I was pathetic. The looks I was getting from ponies whom passed me by ranged from pure distaste to that of shame and pity. None of them would so much as grace me with eye contact. Just when I was becoming well liked within the community, I went and fucked it all up. I was so drunk, I didn't even know what part of town I was in. My only clue I would end up finding moments later would be a very familiar building I would wind up stumbling right into...the wall of it that is.

I struggled for a minute or two to pick myself back up and once I finally did, I was greeted with the one and only thing I have left to be proud of; my carriage parts store of which I haven't been able to work at in over a month. I'm so depressed, I need a safe haven so badly and since I don't know the way home in my inebriated state, my store would suffice. I still even have my keys to it on me. It's closed for the day so that at least gives me somewhat of a clue as to approximately what time it is.

This is going to be easier said than done. With a half empty bottle in one hoof and a key in my teeth, I attempted to insert it into the lock over and over again. After I don't even know how many minutes of making an even bigger ass of myself, I finally managed to stick it in and fumble around with it until the door unlocked. I wasted no time staggering in and I didn't even care to lock the door behind me. Fuck it all. I've got nothing else left to lose. Why do I even bother?

This place is all I have left and I haven't even been allowed to work here in several weeks. Granted, the time off was good for me but right now, it was the only thing that would even keep me going, assuming that I even wanted to. I just want to go out back and sit in my office and drown my sorrows away. I proceed to stagger over to my destination, open the door and drag myself in where I plopped down on my nice plush chair behind my desk and continue to tip my bottle back.

I just need to be alone. I don't want anypony seeing me like this and I don't want to burden anypony with them having to watch me die if my liver ends up giving out. Honestly, I hope it does. I sat there, sobbing for I don't even know how long and the only solace I had was a spare cigar I just happened to find in my desk. I wasted no time lighting up while I polished off the last of the vodka. As I glugged down the last gulp however, I could hear my name being called from the front entrance of my store.

"Caddy!?" A familiar female voice called out as a few sets of hoofsteps came closer.

"Dude, are you in here!?" A male voice called out.

My saving grace approaches. The door to my office swung open, revealing three ponies whom from which I desperately needed help. The looks of concern on their faces quickly gave way to those of horror once Shining Armor flipped the light in my office on. They've seen me drunk before but judging by their expressions, you'd think I'd been decapitated or was hanging by my neck from a rope. What gives?

"Caddy!" Twilight gasped before her eyes welled up. "You're gray!"

"What!?" I gasped as I looked down at my legs and hooves to see that sure enough, my coat and most likely my mane and my eyes had turned totally gray.

This is not good. When a pony turns gray, it means clinical depression which if not quickly treated with the support of friends can ultimately lead to a pony committing suicide. Basically, it's the body's natural response to sickness that alerts other ponies to the problem so it can be dealt with accordingly. Now, I was the latest victim.

"Caddy, this calls for extreme measures." Cadence said somberly as she, Shining Armor, and Twilight hugged me as I sat in my chair.

"C-Caddy, we don't..." Shining Armor sniffled before beginning to sob profusely. "You're our friend! We don't wanna lose you!"

"We're scared, Caddy!" Twilight sobbed. "You really have us scared of what you might do! Caddy, you just...you went around blasting the streets with a gun! What the hell are we gonna do with you!?"

I don't deserve friends like them. No matter what I've done, they've always been there for me and they've taken time out of their own lives and gone out of there way to help me. What have I done to them. I'm doing nothing but stressing them out and ruining their lives. Now I have them scared shitless but I at least know what I can do to start making it up to them.

While my three friends hug me tight, I use my right forehoof to thump the top of my desk just above the drawer on the right, causing the drawer to pop open, ultimately revealing one of my prized possessions; a beautiful, shiny, perfectly polished, chrome colt single action forty five caliber revolver. One of the most expensive firearms in my collection...now formerly in my collection. I reached in, grabbed it, and placed it atop my desk much to my friends' confusion.

"You guys can take this from me." I said as I hung my head. "I'll surrender all of my firearms if it will make you guys feel better."

Cadence hastily grabbed the handgun from atop my desk, proceeded to unload all of the rounds one by one and hugged me again while her husband and sister in law followed suit. I'm actually quite surprised she knows how to handle it, but I digress.

"It does make us feel a little better, Caddy." Cadence sighed out of relief. "It's too bad it's come to this but it's for the best. Thanks for being willing to do this if not for yourself, but for us."

"I'll do whatever it takes, guys." I said with a sniffle. "Oh, by the way. You can take this too."

To the immense confusion of my friends, I tilted my head to the left and used my right hoof to thump my head as I held my left hoof under my ear. After a couple firm knocks, a tiny twenty two caliber twin barrel pistol fell out and I hoofed it over to my friends who just stood there and gawked for a moment.

"You keep a gun in your ear!?" Shining Armor gasped.

"Kept." I confirmed. "Oh, and I have some more too."

I lead my three friends to the front of my store where I then reached under each counter and produced various forms of projectile weaponry including a nine millimeter beretta, a snub nose thirty-eight special, and a twin barrel twelve gauge. Fun fact. This was the same gun I used to scare ponies out of my first store in Canterlot just before Twilight and I burned it down in "Part Time Princess".

"Wow. You uhh...sure have a lot of guns." Cadence stammered.

"You think this is a lot?" I asked, confused. "Follow me."

After a trot to my house...

I lead Twilight, Cadence, and Shining Armor all through my house and garage as I pull gat after gat out of various hiding places. A three-eighty pocket pistol from a drawer in my nightstand, that huge fifty caliber I used to bring down the Cadillac from the safe in my bedroom, an m1911 forty-five ACP from one of my toolboxes and a twenty gauge pump action hanging on my wall. Think we're done? Far from it. I open my closet and present to my friends a twenty-two semi auto rifle with a seventeen round tube magazine, a thirty-thirty lever action rifle, a break open twelve gauge single shot, and a thirty ought six bolt action with a scope.

Whoa, hold up, we're not done yet. I lead my friends to my basement where I keep the rest of my stash. A seven millimeter semi-automatic rifle, a three-oh-eight bolt action, a four-ten bore over/under shotgun, and a nine shot single action twenty-two revolver. Oh, and a forty-four magnum, you know, the one Clint Eastwood looks so badass with. Let's see, a desert eagle fifty caliber, a bfg forty-five sev...

"Why do you have so many fucking guns!?" Cadence yelled.

"Hey, if Equestria gets invaded again, who's everypony gonna turn to for help?" I ask with a shrug.

"Okay, good point, but it's best that we hold on to them until we're sure you're going to be okay."

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. I went from being an upstanding citizen and well liked by the community to being viewed as a public menace. My mane, coat, and once beautiful green eyes are lifeless and gray, I've been put on probation by the village judge, I've been served with a five thousand bit fine, and to top it all off, by order of Twilight and Cadence, I'm on twenty-four hour suicide watch. Isn't life just peachy?

Basically, the goal of my friends and their other friends they sent over to take shifts making sure I don't try to off myself is my emotional and physical recovery. I have been unable to get Fluttershy off my mind and the fact that she always excuses an animal's rotten behavior just eats at me. I've lost my appetite and simply can't get myself to sleep, try as I might. As the days go by, I start to lose weight and my eyes start to sink into my head as dark circles develop underneath them.

The only thing that keeps me going at this point are my friends. Not just Cadence, Shining, and Twilight, I can't keep yanking them away from their duties. As such, they have sent other friends of theirs to take shifts spending time with me and obviously ensure that I don't do anything stupid. Today, they've sent Rarity over to foalsit me. As long as I've known her, I always thought she was hella snobbish and I just plain didn't like her. Upon getting to know her more however, I came to realize just how kind she truly is and that she's putting in genuine effort and taking time from her life to help me. The best part is that she brought a truck load of ice cream which we both gulped down as we whined and bitched about our woes.

Pinkie Pie came over the next day. She put her focus on making me smile, which wasn't easy for either of us. What a wonderful group of friends I have. I'd be nothing without them. By the end of the night, Pinkie had managed to get a tiny smile and a slight chuckle out of me. It was a start. I began to put a little bit of weight back on so I at least wasn't malnourished anymore. Still gray and over all, still feeling pretty shitty. Just trying to forget about Fluttershy and how fucking stupid she was to blindly take that little cocksucker Angel's side.

Days turned into weeks and all we had in mind was my recovery. With some supervision from Rainbow Dash, I managed to go to the park and volunteer for some community service which shaved some time off my probation and slowly re-earned the trust of my neighbors. I've usually known Rainbow Dash to be a hardass and being Fluttershy's closest friend, I thought for sure she was gonna go out of her way to make me miserable. Nope, I was wrong. She had a lot of words of encouragement for me as well. I wasn't expecting that, but I also wasn't complaining.

More days and weeks later, ponies came and went just to have another relieve them at the end of their shift. Cadence and Twilight weren't taking any chances so they were keeping me on watch and refused to allow me to be alone. I guess I can understand but I can't masturbate with somepony watching. Luckily for me, I would soon have a chance to open up the 'ol pressure valve if you know what I mean.

Applejack took a few turns watching and spending time with me. We connected before but I still wasn't expecting to fuck her again but...well, we fucked a few times, which actually did help me to feel quite a bit better. I was no longer tied down with a committed relationship and Applejack and I find it easy to confide in each other. It was fun, just some good, casual fucking. We even had conversation during.

"So how's business at the farm?" I casually asked Applejack as I pumped in and out of her while she was bent over the desk in my home office.

"Can't complain, sug-ooh...cube." Applejack replied. "Kinda went limp after ya ain't been at yer store but we're...oooh, that's the stuff...uh, we're doin' alright Ah guess, but could be better. Hey, Ah think yer color's comin' back a bit."

"Yeah, I think I'm getting there, heheh."

"Aww, already? Ya just started."

"No no, I mean I think I'm getting a little bit better...mmm, day by day."

Wow, this is pretty hot. I like this! No strings attached and no big deal made out of it. After Applejack and I shagged, we'd order a pizza and just hang out. Slowly but surely, I'm starting to think about Fluttershy less and less. Applejack's a good friend and a damn fine lay. She also gives the best blowjobs I've ever had. Sure I may not be the best judge as I've only gotten a couple others but seriously, she's good at it.

So at this point, it's been about three weeks since the whole shotgun incident and things are slowly getting better. Some of my color is returning and I've been able to catch up on some sleep. I've also managed to make some more friends as more ponis took their shifts with me. It was never announced to me beforehoof who would be showing up next so while Noteworthy prepared to make his trot back home, the knock on my door announced the arrival of my next foalsitter. Much to my surprise, it was a very close friend of mine whom made the improvement of my health a major priority of hers.

"Cadence?" I asked with a cocked brow as I opened the door to let her in. "How's it going?"

"Hi, Caddy!" Cadence beamed as she greeted me with a nice warm hug. "I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Mkay, have a seat. Want some tea?"

"Sure, I'd love some."

I'd taken up drinking more tea as a way to relax and hopefully flush some of the toxic sludge out of my body. So after I poured my guest and myself a cup, I took a seat on the sofa next to her where we would proceed to catch up and I would give her some updates on my progress.

"So how are things at the Crystal Empire, Cadence?" I asked before taking a sip of my tea. Hmm, a little too hot. I'll let that cool a bit.

"Things are just fine, Caddy." Cadence replied with a smile. "So listen, here's what I wanted to talk to you about. I've found somepony who I think you might get along with and relate to."

"I'm not ready to start dating again, Cadence."

"Oh no, not a date, just a new friend to hang out with. She's going through a rough time as well. Not too long ago, she lost...well, pretty much everything."

"I guess I could relate."

"Yeah, and I think you'd like her."

Eh, what the hell, a new friend is always a good thing. Okay, I'll go meet this pony sometime soon. I have a couple of questions but first, I'm gonna take another sip of my tea. Ah, perfect.

"So, what's she like? Who is she?" I asked as I set my cup back down.

"She's quite tall." Cadence said as she took a sip of her own.

"Oh?"

"She can be a bit cynical and has low expectations for the ponies around her."

"Gee, doesn't that sound familiar. Go on."

"She's exotic."

Cadence said that with a wink. She didn't want to give me this girl's identity so she just gave me a few minor clues. I have no idea who or what she could be. Exotic? I wonder if maybe she's a kirin or a dragon or something. I look forward to finding out.