Author's Note

I pulled a little sneaky on ya'll, here's another chapter in my series of literal fucking autism, because I'm bored.

Here's some more music to keep you plebs occupied again

What?! You need a brain to live? Hearsay!

So basically, I just woke up in some weird room with a weird alarm clock I can’t turn off, it’s annoying as all fuck. Opening my eyes, I tried bashing the little shit with my fists of epicness, only to find they wouldn’t move. “What the fuck?” I asked myself, wondering why I’d been enslaved like the common European sheep. Looking to my left and right, I found them bound by at least four tightly tied cloth around each arm. How the fuck was I gonna enslave those horse things while I MYSELF was enslaved like someone who couldn’t be trusted, those monsters.

I was honestly still trying to bash whatever thing was beeping in my right ear, because it was annoying as fuck. It agitated me so much I began to scream like a squealing pig that’s about to get turned into some sweet ass bacon. Luckily whatever the fuck was keeping me bound seemed like nothing to me anymore, and I just fazed through it like a b0ss. “I AM FREED YOU WEAKLINGS!” I bellowed at nothing like a fucking autist on coke.

Fazing through the door, I T-posed to assert my dominance on anyone trying to run away; nothing like a floating god T-posing to scare away the colorful horses. I soon trapped two of the cartoon looking abominations in a corner, as I continued to T-pose and scream in their weak little faces. My reign of awesomeness was put to an end when something connected with my square ass head, and I hit a less epic wall that Trump would laugh at.

Once more breaking fifty bones to stand like I never fell, I pulled out my super epic custom built “AR-15” with a chainsaw and shot at absolutely nothing, because the offender had already left. I screamed a mighty fucking scream as I punched my flat ass chest over and over like a dumbass guerrilla in a zoo. I used my super epic powers of pure autism to faze through the many walls that existed within this building, and T-posed a many so they knew not to mess with their god and king.

I was close to the entrance, I could feel it, the feels of many demanding their new ruler to rule them. I could feel excitement rise in my chest as I couldn’t wait to rule my new horse things. Who doesn’t want a weird looking colorful horse to serve them?

Once I left that disgusting building, that might have been a hospital, Heh, horspital... I was met with about fifty ~~cracker~~ white and gray colored horse things with spears like Medieval era plebs. I pulled out my super epic “AR-15” again “YOU REALLY THINK YOUR GAY ASS TOOTHPICKS WILL HURT ME, I’M A LITERAL FUCKING GOD AHAHAHAHAHA!” I laughed like a retard on helium, and continued laughing until a horse so white, it makes the white colonials look black in comparison to that beauty.

“ENOUGH!” The white horse said, booming louder than my gay ass. “I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE, OR WHERE YOU CAME FROM, BUT YOU WILL NEVER HURT MY SUBJECTS!” The thing said with a mastered god voice, do I finally meet someone as powerful as me? HAH, like that could ever happen. “DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN CHALLENGE ME? NOTHING CAN BEAT ME!” I replied like an oblivious child who was just told they’d get candy if they got in the van.

I charged with a mighty, mousy scream as I charged the horse god faster than the Delorean from Back to the Future while passing through time itself. I was met with something hard connecting with my face, or was it the other way around? And I fell on my back a few meters away. Quickly getting back up, I levitated and screamed at the now present shield, charging once again, I hit the seemingly magical object like a moth trying to get burnt by a lamp.

It may have been apparent to me that hitting the shield at such speeds so often may have caused further brain damage. Why should I care? I was only dropped a total of fifty times as a child, and diagnosed with a very severe case of bi-polar disease... whatever that was supposed to mean, I don’t get cold randomly, or do I? Oh fuck, maybe I do and I just don’t know it’s happening!

Striking the shield three more times, I could feel several teeth missing, and hot blood was running down my face. I wonder what else happened to my once beautiful face? “FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!” I screamed so loud time just slowed fucking down, is that how I controlled time? I could see it’s face was bored, like it wasn’t even fucking trying! I’ll show you power like never before!

I hit the shield again, only I heard nothing but a really loud ringing, and I literally couldn’t see anymore. The headache and pain was unbearable, and there was nothing but red in whatever you could call my vision. I felt paralyzed with pain, my anger was boiling over the top, and I couldn’t move. Is this what dying feels like? Because it doesn’t feel so good like people make it out to seem.

If I die, my last words are gonna be “Fuck you white horse, fuck you shield, fuck you life, fuck you shitty bones and brain, fuck you everything else.” I may have muttered out? It was hard to tell, the ringing was gone, but it was hard to tell what anyone was saying, or what was happening.

“Hey princess?” A random ass white guard asked. “Yes generic pony guard name?” She asked bored, like if the thing she “fought” was supposed to be this epic battle that never happened. “What do you think that thing is? And why does it look so retarded?” He asked again not looking away from the seemingly dead body on the ground. “I don’t know generic pony guard, I don’t know.” She replied once again, and flew off to the sun or some shit I don’t know.

THE END (I mean it this time guys)

Or do I?