The Best Troller In ALL Of Equestria

Business Begins

Previously on The Best Troller In ALL Of Equestria, the three heroines known as Twilight Sparkle, Luna, and Celestia thought that their travels to parallel universes had come to a final, although eventful end. Twilight had convinced Trixie into visiting Canterlot to stay with her as her special somepony. Around two months had gone by before they learned of Trollestia's secret reports, and because of these reports, Twilight felt scared that her friend Fluttershy was in danger.

Some alternate universe Fluttershy had come into their world. The picture Twilight had seen appeared deeply intimidating, with the doppelganger featuring a set of nasty, black highlights, and a stare seemingly telling all that gazed at it that their time had come. There was also a killer lower back tattoo of a snake winding through twin flaming skulls. None of it looked particularly pleasant to Twilight.

With no other choice, Twilight ventured to her old hometown of Ponyville. Celestia and Luna stayed behind, mainly because Celestia had some unfinished business with her sister. One particularly fateful afternoon, the alicorns had gathered together just as all the royal peons had conveniently gotten sucked into a staff meeting.

In the throne room, light shined upon the two through the fancy, stained glass that depicted tales of older times. Luna sat in front of her sister, curious as to what exactly she needed to hear. Princess Celestia’s flowing mane shielded her disgruntled eyes, waiting for her sister to finally get the conversation started.

"What do we need to talk about, sister?" Luna asked, sitting up straight while putting on somewhat of a blase look.

Nothing but the sounds of winds hitting the glass behind them occurred in reply. Ominous feelings seeped into Luna’s being, as though things simply had to remain silent from their very nature. Once Celestia did speak, however, it became clear to Luna that she had made a terrible mistake.

"You gave your alternate self a blowjob, didn’t you?" Celestia calmly yet firmly asked.

Luna’s eyes began to dilate. "It was, ah, it..." Her voice betrayed with her curiosity, and her tendency to experiment with anyone and everything even though for every action there is always a consequence. She thought about how not all were bad, while not all were good, either. "One can easily... m-make a m-mistake, my dear... sister..."

"Mistake or not, I’m shocked that my own blood would stoop so low, though I might have thought ill of you from the very start of it all," Celestia replied, glancing over outside the nearby window as she betrayed her sense of resignation rather than regret. "Twilight is young, yes, and didn’t know any better when she…" As much as her subconscious wanted to bring up every last amazing, sensual detail of that story, the rational part of Celestia’s mind shoved that all away. "When she... You know… But, you should know the difference from right and wrong."

Luna said nothing, and merely listened with pity for herself while her mane fluttered upon her shoulders. She leaned down, trying to at least look remorseful, but she wondered if she detected a twinge of jealousy in they way her sister's spoke. Still, she kept quiet.

"The big question is just, well, how could you even consider giving someone like a male version of yourself," Celestia began, but she trailed off. Talking about the unusually sexual occurrence indeed made her feel extremely discomforted, especially thinking about her sister’s upcoming travel plans. She returned her gaze to her sister for a moment, and asked, "If I let you come with us on this journey, do you promise to try to behave, and honestly control yourself?"

Luna nodded, trying to convey from her supple pose that she’d try her best to obey her sister's wishes, and resist temptations. Though, as Celestia turned away completely, and moved over to the window, Luna thought to herself that she had only promised to try to behave. Since that was not the same thing as promising to succeed in behaving at all, Luna suppressed a smile.

Meanwhile, Twilight and Trixie arrived in the Ponyville Carousel Boutique, wanting to put a quick end to their search for answers. Rarity and Fluttershy had become exceptional friends recently, possibly friendly enough to start the hearing gossip about them that Lyra and Bon Bon had spread around. Twilight thought that surely Rarity could tell them about Fluttershy’s recent activities.

"I have no idea what she’s been doing," Rarity remarked, annoyance flashing over her face as she flipped her ears. Twilight felt shocked, listening intently as Rarity went on. "She’s been locked up in her cottage. She's been crying, and doing who knows what in there for the longest time! Every time I try and visit her, I knock, but then I’ll hear her tell me to simply go away in a pained voice."

"Pained?" Twilight repeated. Deep in her mind, she repeated the words over and over again like a metronome, Please not Emoshy, please not Emoshy, please not Emoshy!

"Her voice, well," Rarity went on, looking up from a gigantic pile of brightly yellow fabrics. She took a little breath, and said, "Yesterday, I walked over asking if she’d like to share in my butter-coated scones. I had made quite a bit, you see, and when she peeked open the window, loud, noisy banging sounds nearly blew me away! Fluttershy said something along the lines of, butter coats the scones. However, it’s not butter that coats my soul."

"Oh," Twilight muttered, the color draining from her face.

"And then, Fluttershy remarked something like, crawling in my skin, these wounds, they can’t be buttered like scones before turning up her grimy music, and slamming the window on me," Rarity finished, sighing before returning to her fabric assortment.

"Oh, horseapples," Twilight whispered, pressing a hoof against her cheek.

"It’s almost heartbreaking to hear her behave with such a temper. Usually, she’ll invite me right on in, and we’ll have tea, or we'll talk about our day. Lately… I just don’t know what's gotten into her." Rarity magically hovered a set of threads, and needles towards her.

Twilight glanced over at Trixie, who had gotten herself sucked into imagining herself in a golden dress. Twilight stepped in front of her friend in order to break the bad news to her. They gulped simultaneously after that. Their fears that Fluttershy had gotten herself replaced by an emo-version felt devastating, yet they had no other choice but to visit that pegasus, and see if they could somehow get her back to her own world. Trixie made up her mind to have a little chat with the alternate universe mare, but she wondered if she could pick up some anti-emo armor from Rarity somehow.

Having no such luck, Trixie gave Twilight a sigh before stepping out into the street. Just before leaving Rarity’s establishment, Twilight assured the other unicorn that everything would work out alright. "We’ll find out what’s wrong with her. Just trust us."

"Oh, but… Twilight?" Rarity called out before the door closed. Twilight popped her head around the corner, and listened to the last question. "Seriously, why are you with that loathly ruffian, Trixie?"

The purple mare smiled with embarrassment as she realized she hadn’t exactly explained that to any of her friends in all the time she’d been back in her own universe. She'd just been planning on putting it off day by day, the same way one neglects to arrange the sock drawer properly. With a small chuckle, and a slight sigh, Twilight said, "Look, I’ll explain later, but she’s a friend now. Listen… Could you do a favor for me, and tell all my other friends that I won’t be back for quite some time?"

Rarity shook her somewhat bewildered head, and said, "Oh, of course darling, but wherever are-"

Before the mare could complete her question, the door closed, and Twilight sent herself galloping towards Fluttershy’s with Trixie far ahead. Upon their arrival, they saw all the windows barricaded, the door locked tight, just as if not a single animal seemed in sight. Twilight told Trixie to simply stay close while she magically picked the lock.

The door slowly opened with a rather startling creak. The two mares entered to see darkness surrounding the living room. Dust lofted by the creases of the windows where light poured in, but only enough got through to illuminate the white, crystal shaped holes on the floor. Everything else appeared pitch black. Twilight lit the way with her magic while Trixie just quivered behind her, too frightened by the idea of whatever Emoshy would have up her sleeve to recall any magic of her own.

Up the stairs and over to Fluttershy’s room, Twilight heard the whimpers of Fluttershy, or at least, what sounded like her. As the door slowly opened, Twilight saw her friend kneeling with the upper portion of her body on the bed, crying her poor eyes out. The two unicorns approached while Twilight looked at the conflicting colors of her mane. Some strands appeared pitch black while the others had a bright pink shade. As Fluttershy raised her head, the two intruders saw tears sliding, and cascading down her face. The pegasus just started, looking annoyed by the company of the two mares.

Twilight broke the silence first, hoping to start a conversation. "You’re… from another universe, right?"

The mare looked puzzled, and said, "I’m just… depressed about everything. All my friends were like me. We hating everything, and we were antisocial… What happened to you, Twilight? I thought we could cut ourselves together, like every other Wednesday."

The mare shook her head, and explained, "Look, you need to come with me to Canterlot. You’re in the wrong universe… I’ll explain on the way."

The three ponies returned to the royal chariot in front of the tree house where the Canterlot guardians stood, waiting to transport the ponies to the palace.