The Best Troller In ALL Of Equestria

"She is rather pretty, isn't she?"

"So, you're saying that this isn't even my universe?" Emoshy asked with a confused tone.

Twilight sighed, and said, "Not by a long shot."

"Huh," Emoshy said. "I thought it looked quite different... Your world is far too colorful, and sunny all the time for my personally darker tastes."

Twilight giggled, and said, "Not all the time."

"Trixie doesn't know," Trixie said just to annoy her admirer. "Earlier, there was that couple of weeks where the sun wouldn't go away. Not to mention how it was shaped like a-"

"Okay!" Twilight cried out, hoping to change the subject. "Girls! Look, we're here." They stood before the Centerlot palace entry room. There, at the bottom of the stairs that would lead them first to the library, and then the throne room, Trixie commented, "Last time Trixie was here, it was decorated for the Grand Galloping Gala. Everything looks completely boring now!"

Twilight rolled her eyes, and saw Princess Celestia and Luna coming down from the left wing. They appeared to be headed towards the library. "Princess Celestia!" Twilight yelled, and came running up to greet her mentor. "We've got Emoshy, so now, we'll have to return her, and get our Fluttershy back. What about you? Any luck finding out more about Trollestia's mischief?"

Celestia looked worried, and she didn't hide anything from anypony. "Actually, I have brought Trollestia here to interrogate her myself."

She then continued walking, and everypony else just followed. Everyone including Celestia herself was nervous about Trollestia now being in this very universe. All except for Emoshy, however, who just did what she was told in the hopes of getting back to her own home sooner.

As they trotted by the library, Celestia said, "She's actually this way... By the way, Twilight?"

"Yes, your Highness?" The student asked, feeling as though what Celestia was about to say would be rather important.

"You do realize... this is no longer the definitive universe of Equestria anymore, right?"

Twilight seemed puzzled, and asked, "Can you elaborate?"

Celestia gulped, and said, "Sure... I'll try my best... You see, just like the universe that was tampered with, where Trixie was in charge? That world at one point was diverged from the ultimately correct one. It's no longer ultimately correct, and neither are we. In other words, this universe has been effected in one way or another that will forever change its course of history as compared to what would've actually happened had we could've simply been left well enough alone."

Trixie nodded, and asked, "In other words, there's a universe out there where everything falls into place the way things are always meant to happen. We'll never be able to know what universe that is, though, because even if we tried to visit that universe, we really wouldn't be able to because we'd then just be creating another diverged universe, just as Princess Trollestia's done to us. Not to mention, so many other universes."

As they entered, Celestia concluded, "Correct."

Before them was Trollestia, chained. She was secured in a magic disabling, pink and sparkling bubble. Several unicorn guards kept it running, as well as Molestia herself. "That's it, everypony. That's the ticket," she chanted as moral support. "Make sure this slut doesn't get the chance to- Oh, myself! How have I been???"

Celestia smiled awkwardly, but openly hugged her counterpart while feeling Molestia nonchalantly grope her flank. "Molly! I've been good! These past two months have been something else, but that's alright. What about yourself?"

"Oh, molestation, intimidation. You know, the usual. It's just, nothing seems to work with her." Molestia was quick to redirect the subject of the matter back to their captive. "Our pretty little troll of a mare here just won't lighten up! She just won't tell me a thing, Celestia. Not a thing!"

Celestia peered through the transparent magic. It was like looking through a mirror, except the mare before her had a pink coat rather than white. "She is rather pretty, isn't she?"

Trollestia stopped looking so annoyed for a second, and asked, "What was that?"

Molestia chimed, "Oh, of course she is! I can hardly resist myself at times."

Celestia chuckled, but Trollestia didn't catch on so quickly as to what she was secretly planning. "Tell us, Trollestia...? How ever do you get your complexion to stay so soft, so smooth, and so sexy all the time?"

The trap was set, and the mouse appeared to be taking the bate. "Well, if you must know, I can accommodate you. First, I take some cocoa nut oil, and I mix it with chunks of jazz-grape seeds. Then-"

Celestia cut her off. "How absolutely, and incredibly interesting! I wonder just how you'd react if you were no longer beautiful anymore."

In the blink of an eye, Celestia poured her might through the force field, and onto Trollestia's fragile face. In a matter of seconds, her girly complexity was altered to a grotesque structure. She didn't even look like a normal pony anymore. She looked like an ugly guy, if anything, and sounded like one, too. She frowned with a deadpan expression, and asked, "You're getting desperate, aren't you?"

Celestia came up to the surface to stare at Trollestia's disturbing face, and asked, "Problem?"

Trollestia's eyes went wide with anger. She then asked Princess Celestia, "What?"

"You mad, bro?"

This made the captive's eyebrow twitch ever so slightly. "Stop... I mean it."

"Well, then?! Tell me what you've done! Out with it! Spit it out!"

"NO! Never! You're never going to win this fight! I'll never..."

She stopped her banter for a second, holding her throat, trying desperately to clear it. "Yes?" Celestia asked with a sweet smile.

"Wow, I really do hate this voice, and this face... I think..."

"Yes?"

Trollestia bowed her head in defeat, and said, "I think I'll just cooperate now, if you don't mind. Just, please! Turn me back to normal! I don't want to look like a hideous freak for the rest of my life! This... voice will haunt my nightmares for ages to come, too, if I have to listen to it for another second!"

Celestia advanced closer towards the shield, and demanded, "I want some information first, and then... maybe, I'll think about turning you back to normal."

Trollestia knew not to throw down all her cards onto the table, all at once. She needed to at least keep herself useful, so that she wouldn't be disposed of by Celestia and Luna so quickly. "Let's... strike a solid deal, shall we?"

At that, Celestia commented, "I've been told in the past... Don't deal with the devil. With a case like this, however, I'm willing to make an exception."

"I'll give you slips of precious information here and there, but not all at once. After all, otherwise, what use would you have of me?"

Celestia just looked crossed at the decision she had to make, but nevertheless, she was still kind hearted. "I'm willing to go through with that, but here's the stipulation, Trollestia..."

The mare behind the shield grimaced, and said, "Go on."

"Each slip of information you give us earns you an improvement on the way you look, or the way you sound, and it'll be of your choosing."

Considering this was probably about as much leniency as Celestia was going to provide, Trollestia accepted the terms. "It's a deal! What do you want to know?"

Celestia looked at Molestia with a cocky expression, and then returned her gaze to Trollestia. "Well, let's start from the beginning. We have Emoshy, and we're planning to return her to her world. Then, we'll be returning our Fluttershy back here. Is that all we have to do in order to restore the emo universe of Equestria to it's regular state?"

Trollestia nodded. "Yes, but I can't guarantee any changes made to your Fluttershy due to what world she's been in for such an extended period of time."

At that, Twilight gulped, and wanted desperately to teleport on over to Emoshy's universe then and there. Instead, however, she waited, and listened. Celestia continued to question Trollestia, "As for myself, and my sister, Luna... I want to know where the most probable instance of destruction and mayhem might be that you've caused, and with who, or what?"

Trollestia asked, "Aside from that population of ponies that I teleported to some God forsaken wasteland, and what I did to you and Molestia?"

Celestia nodded, and said, "Yes, aside from what we already know."

"Gee, hmm... I guess that would have to be when I teleported a certain something to Canterba, City of the Sands."

Celestia's ears perked up at this. "You don't mean...?"

Luna asked her sister, "What is it?"

At that, Celestia breathed for a second, and said, "I wondered what could've happened all those years ago, had I not..." She looked at Trollestia, hoping that she would just explain it, and she did.

"You see," Trollestia said. "What was it? Five hundred years ago? Great sand storms from both the east, and the west regions of the planet came raging towards the inlands one day, and had Celestia not stopped it, Canterlot would've been buried. However, Celestia always stops it, no matter which universe it is. Actually, it becomes a quick entry in the newspaper, if anything. Life goes on. It's the same story, no matter which universe you go to. Even mine, but there's just one universe in which she doesn't stop the storms from coming. You'll want to search in that universe."

Celestia mumbled to herself, "Whoever it is, I just hope they're alright."

Trollestia hadn't been smiling much after revealing all of this, but hearing Celestia mistakenly suspect that she had delivered a living, breathing body to Canterba forced Trollestia to chuckle ever so slightly. Although, Celestia still heard her. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," Trollestia lied.

Celestia then demanded to know, "Also, Trollestia, just who did you teleport to Canterba?"

"I think I've told you enough, actually. You'll have to work with what you've got! Now, your Highness... GIVE ME MY REGULAR VOICE BACK, DAMN IT!"

Celestia groaned while rubbing her ringing ears. "Fine, but later, we'll be back to extract more information. In the mean time, Molly will continue to watch over you." She came over to her alter-ego, and asked Molestia, "Are you sure your sister is alright with running your world for such a prolonged time while you're gone?"

Molestia hoofed at such a silly question. "Psh! Princess Celestia, please. She's probably doing a better job of it right now than I ever could have! You go on. I'll take care of everything else from here."

Celestia thanked herself, and then turned for the door along with her sister. Twilight stopped Trixie from following them, and said, "We'll teleport to Emoshy's universe from within here. Luckily, the spell should work rather easily thanks to all the magic I've managed to build up throughout my travels. All you have to do is try with all your might, and we should be able to take Emoshy with us. After that, you'll probably be able to do this without even breaking a sweat."

Trixie scoffed at Twilight's words, and boasted, "Are you kidding? Do you not realize who you're talking to? Trixie won't even break a sweat this time around! Let's just get this over with, Sparkle."

As the two magically disappeared, Trollestia's regular voice began returning to normal. "Ahh... That's so much better! Hehe..."

Celestia and Luna left the room, and started heading towards the outskirts of town in order to transport to Canterba. They had no idea what the landscape would be like, so to avoid any accidents as best they could, they did their best to locate fairly high grounds. While in the middle of their city, however, just before the two would leave this world to embark on their quest, Celestia experienced an odd occurrence.

She was walking alongside Luna when somepony trotted directly into the back of her, and fell down. "Oof!"

Celestia turned around to see who it could've been, asking, "Are you alright, my little pony?"

It was a female pegasus, pink in color. Celestia also noticed a crystal heart for her cutie mark. "Yeah," she grumbled while getting up from the gravel. "I'm sorry! I'm just late for class!" At first, this mare seemed rather preoccupied with her studies, but upon her seeing just who she'd bumped into, she gasped. "Y-you're Princess Celestia, and you're Princess Luna! I'm... Why, it's just such an honor to meet the two of you, and... I'm so sorry that I ran right into you! Are you alright?"

Celestia hoofed for her to calm down, saying, "Yes, I'm fine." Although, something about this pony seemed different, as if she were important in some peculiar way, but Celestia couldn't quite place her hoof on it. That's when other ponies, presumably the mare's friends began calling out for her.

"Hey, Cadance!"

Celestia's head jerked towards where she'd heard the voices come from. "Cadance?" she asked aloud.

"Come on, Cadance! The Wonderbolts aren't gonna be visiting Canterlot forever!"

"Okay," Cadance shouted back. "Coming right now!"

Celestia then and there knew that she'd seen this mare once before, at some point or another, and something was supposed to happen all those years ago, but it didn't. "Perhaps," she whispered to herself.

"Alright," Cadance said to the Princesses. "I suppose I'll... see the two of you later. It's been such a divine privilege."

She left shortly there after, and Luna then came up to Celestia to ask, "She's interesting to you? Why?"

Celestia shook her head, and commented, "I don't know why, Luna... Look, anyways, we have to go higher than this. Let's not waste anymore time."

Soon, they were outside the city walls, away from the busy streets of Canterlot. Amongst the mountain trails, Celestia and Luna stopped, and agreed with one another that this was a fair altitude to work with. Finally lighting their horns, they slowly began disappearing together in the usual spectrum rays of light. Just like that, the very landscape all around them changed.