Chapters Author's Note
Hi there! Before you read this, I'd like to be very clear about something: I am NOT saying that it's wrong to take precautions for viruses. I myself only leave the house when I need groceries every other week. This chapter and future chapters are not meant to be examples of what you should or shouldn't do. The sole purpose of this is just to make people laugh at such a depressing time. Hope you enjoy! If you do, make sure to leave a thumbs up!
Twilight Sparkle
Dear Diary,
I’ve never written in a private diary before, so I hope I’m doing it correctly. I read a few manuals to learn as much as I could about it, but now that I’m actually doing it, I feel drastically unprepared. Maybe I should just stop now so that I don’t embarrass myself? No, I need to do this. I read in ‘A Basic Guide to Pony Psychology’ that writing your problems down on paper helps to release stress. Not to mention that a lot of my friends already write in diaries.
Well, I feel like I should have some sort of transition, but I’m not really sure how that works, so I suppose I’ll just jump right in.
When I first heard about COVIB-19, I didn’t really think much of it. I just thought it was another meaningless rumor. But yesterday, when Princess Celestia issued the stay-at-home order and declared COVIB-19 an official pandemic, everything changed. I still can’t believe how easily I brushed it off at first! I decided to do a bit of research. After all, as the Princess of Friendship, I felt that it was my responsibility to figure out the best ways to keep everypony safe.
I almost wanted to go through the mirror portal just so that I could use one of those strange mechanical contraptions. I could imagine that my research would have been much easier if I could simply ‘type’ something and have everything related pop up on the ‘screen’. But I didn’t do that, because not only did I think it would be irresponsible to leave my world at a time of such struggle, but I also doubted that the human world would have any information on COVIB-19. I mean, could you imagine humans having to go through a pandemic? They’d probably have it dealt with within an hour with all of their powerful technology.
So since I didn’t have any human technology, the first thing I did was gather all of the newspapers and magazines that had substantial information about the virus. (And of course by, ‘substantial,’ I meant anything that had the words ‘virus’ or COVIB-19 in it anywhere.) It was quite stressful to see how few sources I had to look through. There were only seventy-three newspapers and twenty-nine magazines! I needed to get prepared , not do some light reading!
But even though there might not have been as many sources as I’d hoped, the information that was there was extremely helpful. After the first three newspapers, I knew I needed to make some changes around The Canterlot Castle.
I made it a rule for all of the guards to wear masks, as well as standing no closer than seven feet away from each other. (The newspapers said six feet, but I added an extra foot for good measure.) I felt much better about everypony’s safety after implementing that, but I still thought it would definitely be a good idea to read the other seventy newspapers and all of the magazines.
Each article brought a new revelation. The symptoms were fever, coughing, and fatigue. I made sure to take note of that so that I could be absolutely sure that not I, nor anypony I associated with, showed any of them. At one point, I walked across the hall to go to the bathroom, and I saw a guard yawning. I sent him home immediately of course. I just hope I wasn’t too late. What if I’d somehow caught it from him? What would ponies do if their princess was infected? But, I wasn’t showing symptoms, so I was still pretty sure that I would be fine.
Twelve more articles later, I learned that that was most definitely not the case. Apparently, some ponies who tested positive for the virus showed no symptoms at all! So I could have had it the whole time and given it to some of my guards! Then it would have spread among them, and then they would go home and spread it to their families, and pretty soon all of Equestria would be infected! Before, I would’ve thought that since I hadn’t touched any of them, they would be fine, but the last magazine I had read had said something about cross contamination.
If my understanding of cross contamination was correct, that meant that if I even stepped on the same spot as somepony who had the virus, I was likely to get it myself! Immediately, I informed all the guards that they were now required to wear disposable shoes, and every three hours, they must burn their old shoes and put on new ones. A few of them quit, which I could completely understand. After all, even with all the precautions that I was taking, there was still a risk, and I didn’t want anypony to be out of their houses if they didn’t feel comfortable.
When I got to the last few dozen articles, I started to get very confused. Some ponies were saying that the symptoms were loss of taste and smell, headache, and nausea, but I was sure that that conflicted with other articles that I’d read. I went back and reread several things, and in the end, I realized that I simply had to be extra weary of all of the possible symptoms.
Right now, I still have two magazines and two newspapers left to read, but I’m pretty sure I have most of the possible situations covered. The whole castle is covered in plastic wrap that’s to be replaced every few hours, and I installed a spraying system that sprays everything with disinfectant whenever I feel that it’s necessary.
I’m not sure yet what I’m going to do about eating food, but I’m not that hungry. I’ve gone long amounts of time without access to food before. I’ll be fine.
Wow! Writing in a diary really does release stress! Although, I have to admit that I’m still a bit worried. I know I’m doing my best, but I can’t help but wonder if it’s enough.
Signing off,
Twilight
Dear Diary,
This is so embarrassing. I can’t believe I’m writing in a diary. After all, I sort of make fun of my friends a lot for writing in their diaries. Although I guess it’s not so bad as long as they never find out about this.
Anyway, you can’t really blame me for needing to vent at a time like this, since everything is pretty much total chaos right now. (Seriously, I wouldn’t be surprised if Discord is secretly behind it.) Since COVIB-19 was declared an official pandemic two days ago, everypony has been acting like it’s the end of the world, and quite frankly, I don’t get it.
I mean, it’s just a virus. What’s the big deal? Ponies get viruses all the time, but we don’t shut everything down and lock ourselves in our houses because of it. Besides, it’s not like I could ever actually get it. I’m Rainbow Dash. I’m a Wonderbolt, one of The Princess of Friendship’s best friends, and did I mention that I’m a Wonderbolt? Not to brag or anything, but I’m clearlyat least twenty percent cooler than most ponies. As if some random virus could take me down.
But, even though I’m not freaking out about it, it’s still a huge inconvenience for me. Yesterday for instance, I went to the Ponyville Farmers Market to buy some food, and everypony was wearing masks and disposable shoes. And get this: Ponies treated me like I was crazy because I walked around normally.
When I went to the strawberry stand, I encountered the first pony to greet me properly and not look at me like I was insane. It was Strawberry Sunrise as she ran her stand, and I was so happy that I yelled
“Finally! Thank Celestia there are sane ponies left!”
Then, I gave her a big hug, only to be shoved away somewhat aggressively. Strawberry Sunrise looked around anxiously, finding that most of her customers had left.
“What are you doing , Rainbow? Are you trying to ruin my business? Did Applejack put you up to this?”
I was so confused. To be honest, I still am.
“What are you talking about?!” I yelled, accidentally spewing a pit of spit on the nearby strawberries as I spoke. I didn’t think it was a big deal, but apparently Strawberry Sunrise did.
“Now you’ve done it! Now all of those perfectly good strawberries are ruined! As if my business isn’t suffering enough right now without your sabotage!”
“What’s wrong with them? What sabotage? I was going to buy some from you,” I said. Strawberry Sunrise looked at me like I was an idiot.
“What’s wrong is that the health inspector has already shut down several booths here, and if anypony were to report me, my business would be closed down until this pandemic ends! Clearly, you have no respect for small business owners!”
I still can’t believe she really said that.
“No respect for small business owners? Oh really?” I said, accepting her challenge. I looked around, my eyes perusing the other stands. I spotted a stand that was selling fancy-looking spices, and noticed that nopony was going anywhere near it. I then turned back to Strawberry Sunset.
“I’ll show you ,” I said. I then proceeded towards the spice booth. When I got there, I noticed that the owner, who wasn’t wearing a mask, didn’t look too well. He was an earth pony stallion who was sitting in a fold-up chair, half asleep and coughing harshly.
Making sure everypony was watching me, I confidently strided over to where the stallion was sitting and grabbed his hoof, shaking it in greeting.
“Hi there. To be totally honest, I don’t really know a lot about spices, but I’m determined to help struggling small business owners such as yourself, so what do you recommend?”
He looked completely shocked. I bet I made his day.
He started to get up, seeming to barely have enough energy to do that much. He walked over to his selection of spices, and picked up two bottles in his teeth, giving them to me. I held them in my wing.
“Well, to start you off, I’d recommend garlic powder and *cough cough* cinnamon. They both go with a lot of different things, so you’ll be able to use them *cough cough * quite a bit.” I opened them up and sniffed. Both aromas smelled good by themselves, but they smelled so terrible together that I cringed. The stallion took my cringe the wrong way, and leaned over to sniff the spices himself.
“Is something wrong with their scent? I haven’t been able to smell very well lately, so-”
That had been the longest amount of time he’d gone without coughing, and he suddenly hunched forward in the middle of his sentence and coughed right into the open spice bottles, sending fine powder into the air and right up into my face. The stallion coughed a bit more and then turned to me, his eyes wide.
“I’m so sorry!”
I sighed, a little disappointed.
“It’s fine. The bottles only lost a little bit of powder, so I’ll pay you the same price for what’s left. After all, it’ll still taste the same even though there’s less of it.”
The stallion was very surprised by this for some reason. I gave him some bits, and when I turned around, I saw that the whole market had gone silent, watching me. I put my chin up and smiled at them, strutting out of the market. I stopped at Strawberry Sunrise’s stand on my way. Her eyes were practically popping out, and even with her mask on, I could tell that her mouth sat agape.
“And that is what I call respecting small business owners,” I said smugly. She was still speechless. Guess she didn’t like being proved wrong.
I flew home and put my new spices up, still not entirely sure what I would use them for. Now, it’s been two or three hours, and I’m laying on my couch.
After writing this entry, I’m wondering if everypony acting so strangely could be some sort of magical spell. But maybe I’m just being paranoid because I’m tired. I’ve suddenly gotten very tired over the course of the last two or three hours. I also think that I must still have some spice-powder lingering in my nose, because even though I can’t smell it, I’ve been coughing a lot.
Anyway, I’m going to hide this diary somewhere that no one will ever find it, and then take a nice long nap.
That’s everything,
Rainbow
Author's Note
Hey! Thanks for reading! And just as a reminder, this is not meant to be offensive, just to be humorous. If you liked it, please give it a thumbs up, and stay tuned for future chapters!
Dear Diary,
Why do ponies always start diary entries with ‘Dear Diary’? And why is the D in Diary always capitalized? Is Diary a living creature? Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! Are you? Huh? I haven’t hugged another creature in fifty-eight hours, twenty-four minutes, and thirty-three seconds, so I think I’ll hug you just in case you are.
I’m not sure how you could be alive, but if me and my friends can turn bad guys into stone with magical rainbows or get sucked into a magical comic book and turn into superheroes, I’m sure it’s possible. But wait! If you are a pony, am I even allowed to hug you? I mean, I know social distancing isn’t a law or anything, but Mr. and Mrs. Cake are doing it, and since I live with them at Sugarcube Corner, I don’t want to disrespect them in any way. Much less compromise their business. That’s why I’m social distancing.
Speaking of social distancing, it's making me really, really, really bored, and I’m not quite sure what I should do today. Want to help me decide?
Maybe I’ll have another tea party with Gummy! Or maybe I’ll have a birthday party for Fernando and invite my entire straw collection! Or I could jump on my bed for a few hours, or ride the slide to my party planning cave again and again until I get dizzy, or eat a batch of buttercream frosting, or practice flying with my tail, or sing a song about sunshine and smiling, or have a staring contest with Gummy, or write another rapp, or practice waving my eyebrows at myself in the mirror, or repaint my room, or refriz my hair, or mail a box of confetti to somepony, or fire my party cannon in my room over and over until Mrs. Cake asks me to stop, or blow balloons or…
Hey Diary! Sorry I left for a few minutes! I ran out of ink. Anyway, I-
Wait. Is that a real-life, living, breathing pony walking unsuspectingly by my window? I’ll be right back, Diary. Sorry to leave again so soon!
And I’m back! It was Vinyl Scratch outside my window, the straps of her mask tied to her headphones. Can you believe it?! What were the chances that I’d see her? She only walks by Sugarcube Corner every single day !
Of course, I jumped out of my window, and at the last second, I grabbed the edge of the roof with my back hooves, casually hanging from the edge six feet away from her. I used my Pinkie Sense to avoid a falling flower pot that I’d accidentally knocked over on my way out the window.
“Hi! I haven’t talked to anypony except the Cakes in forever ! How are you? How’s quarantine? Made any new remixes lately?” I asked. She just walked by, her headphones leaving her completely oblivious to me and my words.
The fact that she didn't even notice me makes me a little sad, but I think I just found my new COVIB-19 hobby! Pony watching. Just because I'm not leaving the property of Sugarcube Corner or getting any closer than six feet away from ponies doesn't mean I can't sit on the roof with my binoculars, waiting for ponies to walk by!
By the way, I'm climbing up to the top of the roof while I'm writing this. How is that possible, you may ask? The same way that I can play ten instruments at once and defy the laws of physics whenever it's convenient: It's a secret.
Don't give me that 'Nobody would ever know. I'm just a diary.' I trust you to know my secret, just not that strange two-legged creature from another dimension that's reading this off of an electronic screen. What, you didn't notice them? Get it together, Diary! They've been there the whole time!
Anyway, it's been a whole ten seconds, and no ponies have walked by yet, so I'm thinking maybe I need to encourage them. I'll be right back, Diary.
Well, my voice is a little sore, but I think it worked!
My idea was brilliant! There may not have been any ponies outside around Sugarcube Corner, but there were tons of ponies inside the houses near Sugarcube Corner. All I had to do was scream loud enough that they could all hear me, and then they'd come out!
"HEY EVERYPONY! WANNA COME OUT AND TALK TO ME? DON'T WORRY! I'LL STAY SIX FEET AWAY!"
I got a few ponies to open their curtains, but nopony opened their windows to yell back, nor did anypony come out of their houses. I figured that I wasn't loud enough, so I tried again.
"HELLO? CAN YOU PONIES HEAR ME? IT'S PINKIE PIE! WON'T SOMEPONY COME OUT AND TALK TO ME?"
Even after that, I got no answer, but that was like, twenty minutes ago, and I’ve called out dozens more times since then. (Yes, I know I should just start an entry and not stop to do something else until I finish it, but I have a short attention span, okay?)
I still know that my plan worked though, because I can see an older stallion in a police uniform walking into Sugarcube Corner right now. He has to be here to talk to me. There's no other explanation. And even if that’s not why he’s here, I can still talk to him anyway! I'm climbing back down into my room and shutting my window. Hold on one second, Diary. Somepony is knocking on my door.
Sorry Diary, but it looks like I have to go. Mrs. Cake just came in and yelled a bunch of stuff about neighbors being bothered by my screaming, and something about somepony reporting to the police that I 'disturbed the peace' or something like that. The important part of what she said is that there's a police pony downstairs, waiting to talk to me. Told you it worked!
Finally, I get to have a conversation with somepony besides the Cakes for the first time in the longest fifty-nine hours, two minutes, and seventeen seconds of my life! I'm so excited!
Bye!
Pinkie
Author's Note
Hi again!
I know I sort of shattered the fourth wall, but if Equestria Girls Pinkie Pie could know that Twilight was a magical pony princess from another world, regular Pinkie Pie could know that you were reading this story... Right?
Thanks for reading! Remember to leave a thumbs up if you liked this chapter, and feel free to comment with your thoughts.
Dear Diary,
I would’ve hoped that my two-thousand, four-hundred, and fifty-seventh diary entry would be filled with mystery, intrigue, and romance, but quite sadly, it’s not. It’s just a dreadful, highly un fabulous explanation of my doomed state of being.
As soon as I found out that COVIB-19 was a pandemic, I was distraught, but the true trauma didn’t come until much later. In fact, it was just yesterday evening. I had recently tried to purchase more of my favorite sensitive coat soap, gloss shampoo, leave-in conditioner, moisturizer, makeup remover, ‘Hair Flare’ brand styling cream, and a few other basic things. I’d sent in my order for delivery-through the mail of course, since there’s no other way to order delivery-and I’d been shocked by their response. It was all out of stock!
I was so paralyzed by my shock and despair that I fainted onto a couch that had miraculously appeared beside me. After eating the remnants of an old carton of Vanilla Oat Swirl, I went to the sink to clean off my smeared mascara, but I was out of makeup remover!
I didn’t know what to do! I cried into my ultra-soft silk pillow until Opalescence batted at me aggressively with her paw.
“Mrrrrowr!” she meowed judgmentally.
“Oh Opalescence! Whatever will I do?” I said as I put my hoof to my forehead in a distressed manor. Opalescence rolled her little eyes and walked away.
At first I thought that she’d abandoned me. Can you imagine my own sweet, innocent little cat abandoning me in my time of need?! Luckily, I was wrong. Opalescence came back holding a newspaper in her mouth. Then, she jumped up onto my bed, and dropped it in front of me.
‘High-end Personal Hygiene Store Called ‘Glamorous You’ Promises To Restock: Next Shipment To Arrive Any Minute,’ I read from the cover.
Glamorous You was the store that I’d ordered from! Any minute?! I knew I needed to get going right away. All I had to do was grab my custom-made mask and anti-virus stilettos. It wasn’t as if I could restyle my hair or clean up my eyeshadow before I left. (I cried a bit more after realizing that.)
Before I knew it, I was on my way. When I got there, I was a horrible mess. Actually no. That wording doesn’t even come close to the reality. I was the epitome of messiness, the most messy I’d been since The Sisterhood Social. I looked absolutely horrid.
There were already a few dozen ponies at Glamorous You when I got there, including Lily Lace, Spoiled Rich, and even Inky Rose. They all recoiled at the sight of me, my hair sticking out in strange directions and my whole face covered with soggy makeup.
“What are you all looking at?” I asked angrily.
About an hour later, there were significantly less ponies waiting, and my right eye was starting to twitch. But, all the suffering was worth it when a few more hours later, at two in the morning, Lipstick Vanity came out of Glamorous You and made an announcement.
“Sorry for the delay everypony. The shipment came much later than expected. We’re fully restocked now, but-”
“Thank heavens!” I shouted, interrupting her. Lipstick Vanity looked at me for a second, taking in my disheveled appearance. The nerve! As if she could possibly understand the hardships that I was facing.
“You’re welcome to come in now, but please try not to buy more than you need. That’s why we went out of stock in the first place. Everypony has been stocking up on our products due to this pandemic. You-”
“Yes, darling. We get it. Now will you please just let us in? I need my essentials!” I called out. Lipstick Vanity was clearly getting annoyed now. She rolled her eyes at me. I couldn’t believe she would do that! Who knew that Glamorous You would have such dreadful customer service?
“Fine,” Lipstick relented, stepping away from the doorway. Before anypony else had the chance, I pranced in as fast as I could. Lipstick Vanity’s warning had given me a revelation. There were ponies who would take everything for themselves. I would like to think that ponies would be more generous than that, but I couldn’t be sure, so I had to get everything I could possibly need, before other ponies took it all.
I ran to the soap aisle, and found my regular soap relatively quickly. I usually only purchased one or two bars, but if it was going to be sold out for weeks because of greedy ponies, I needed to get more. Much more.
Once I had a few dozen bars in my shopping cart, I went to move towards the hair aisles, but then I saw another brand of soap that I’d been wanting to try for a while. If I didn’t try it now, there was a chance that I wouldn’t be able to try it for quite some time. I put one of those soap bars in my basket.
But wait. If I only got one, and I ended up liking it more than my regular soap, but couldn’t get more because it was out of stock, what would I do? I added more of that brand to my basket until I felt it was sufficient.
About twenty minutes later, the four or five other ponies who had waited for the shipment were glaring at me as I walked over to checkout with my four full carts. I couldn’t imagine why. I looked around the store, and saw that most of the products that I’d been worried would go out of stock were almost gone already. I couldn’t believe that just these few ponies could buy that much stuff. I glared right back at them.
Soon enough, I returned home. It’s almost three in the morning, and I just finished putting my stuff in my attic. Normally, I would put all of it in my bathroom, but I was surprised to find that I didn’t have anywhere near enough room.
Now, I’m going to take a much needed bath. Well, after I decide which of my five types of soap and nine types of shampoo to use of course.
Until tomorrow,
Rarity
Author's Note
Hey guys! Can you imagine getting through quarantine without Amazon? Talk about a nightmare...
Anyway, I hoped you like this chapter! If you did, make sure to give it a thumbs up, comment, and stay tuned for the next one!
Dear Diary,
I probably would’ve written this entry much sooner, but I’ve been busier than a moth in a mitten since COVIB-19 was declared an official pandemic. At first, I thought me and the rest of the Apples would get through it as long as we were together, but now that I’ve been stuck at the farm with them all day every day, with no breaks, for six long days, they’re starting to drive me a little crazy.
You see, we’ve been trying real hard to follow the new health regulations, since we could get shut down if we don’t. Well, at least I’ve been trying to follow them. The others said they were gonna be cautious too, but they haven’t given it even a lick of effort!
It all started with Granny. Everypony was doing their best to social distance, and then on the second day, Granny decided that since she couldn’t go and play bingo with The Golden Horseshoe Gals, like she usually does on Sundays, she was gonna improvise, and do something more pandemic-approved with them. I thought that it was a great idea! That is, until I saw Granny, and all of The Golden Horseshoe Gals swimming in the stream that runs through Sweet Apple Acres. There were no masks or disposable shoes, and there was a heck of a lot less than six feet between them.
“What do you think you’re doing, Granny?! I thought you were doing something pandemic-friendly with the girls!” Granny just looked at me like I was crazier than a chicken in a crib.
“Of course! As if I’d ever put the business in jeopardy! I said I wouldn’t leave the property, and I haven’t. We’re not in public, so we’ll be fine as a frog-hair.” The rest of the group nodded in agreement. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I was at a loss for words. My face turned red with frustration.
“But you...! Did you really…? Why in Equestria would you think...?!” I mumbled.
“Sweetheart, are you alright?” Auntie Applesauce asked while doing a sidestroke through the stream.
“Don’t worry about her. She’s just having one of her fits,” Granny answered before I could say anything.
“Granny!” I yelled.
“Fillies,” Granny said as she and the others nodded their heads in understanding. I almost countered, saying that I’m clearly not a filly seeing as I’m eighteen years old, but I didn’t. I could not deal with that load of baloney, so I went to feed the cows, and pretended like I never saw any of that.
Unfortunately, I was forced to acknowledge it just two days later when I caught Applebloom sneaking off to the Crusader’s Clubhouse in the middle of the night. She had a saddlebag, but no mask or disposable shoes. She was almost to the front door when I found her.
"What in the hay are you doing, Apple Bloom?" I whispered in an effort not to wake anypony up. Apple Bloom stared at me defiantly.
“What do you think I’m doing, Big Sis? I’m sneaking out to the clubhouse to see Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo!” she said in a sassy tone. I still can’t believe my own lil’ sister would talk to me like that! The nerve !
“What in Equestria makes you think that you can get out of quarantine, little lady? We all have to do our part in a crisis like this,” I said. Apple Bloom made an overly dramatic pouty face.
“But Granny did! If she can do it, why can’t I? I saw her swimming through the stream with her friends two days ago, and she said that it was fine since it’s private property! The clubhouse is on our property too! I can’t believe you trust Granny more than me! It ain’t fair!” Apple Bloom whined. I wanted to scream.
“That has nothing to do with it, Apple Bloom!” I said.
“Well then why? Why are you doing this to me?!” Apple Bloom yelled at the top of her lungs. Apparently she had no respect for other ponies sleeping. I groaned. How in the hay was I supposed to explain it?
“Look, you are not leaving, you hear? It just ain’t happening.” To reaffirm my statement, I grabbed her saddlebag and held it up where she couldn’t reach it.
“But why ?” Apple Bloom moaned.
“Because I said so! Now go to sleep!” I yelled, entirely giving up on trying to be polite.
“Fine!” she yelled back. Then she stomped all the way back to her room.
Ugh. Granny alone was a pain in the ranny to handle. Did Apple Bloom really have to make it even harder? But, even after that, I worked through it. I was determined not to give up.
By this morning, I was finally starting to get used to keeping Granny and Apple Bloom under control. I wasn’t even lashing out at them anymore! It always helped that I had Big Mac there to help me. He might not talk much, but he was a real help to me with our sister and Granny.
The problem was, about an hour ago, I was walking past the patch of trees that Big Mac was supposed to be bucking, and he wasn’t there. I was worried something terrible had happened to him! Ponies had been acting pretty crazy since all this pandemic business had started up, and I couldn’t bear the thought of my big brother getting caught in the middle of it all.
I searched the entire orchard, but he wasn’t there. Then, I checked his room, but he wasn’t there either. Just when I was about to give up, I remembered to check the silo.
I walked up to the door, and was very surprised to hear music and laughter coming from inside. All I could think was ‘What in the hay? Who would trespass on our farm?’ I never expected what I saw when I opened the door.
There were maskless ponies wearing party hats everywhere , and right in the middle, snuggled up to Sugar Belle, was Big Mac. My shocked expression quickly turned into a seething glare, and somepony turned the music off.
“Uh oh,” Big Mac said. He, Sugar Belle, and everypony else looked terrified.
“Big Mac. Out here. Now, ” I said. Big Mac slowly and cautiously walked through the doorway and out of the silo with his eyes to the ground, closing the door behind him and leaving all of the party-goers behind.
I took a deep breath in and then let it out, hoping that it would calm me down enough to have a civilized conversation.
“WHAT IN TARNATION DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” I was so loud that I’m pretty sure ponies as far as The Crystal Empire could hear me.
“Uh…” was all he said, still staring at the ground like an idiot.
“Quit you’re mumbling and explain yourself!” I demanded. He looked up to meet my gaze, his eyes guilty.
“It’s her birthday.” I stared at him, my face blank.
“Oh. Alrighty then. It’s her birthday , huh? I spend five days straight away from my girlfriend, my best friends, my favorite diner, and the entire world. Oh, and the entire time, I’m trying to keep Apple Bloom and Granny Smith under control so that we don’t lose our family business, but it’s totally fine and dandy because it’s YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S BIRTHDAY?!”
That’s all of the conversation that I’m gonna include in this entry because let’s just say the rest of it got a little messy. And by that, I mean that there were a lot of ‘eeyup’ s, ‘nope’ s, and ‘sorry ‘bout that’ s on Big Mac’s end, and a lot of yelling and kicking people out of the silo on my end.
At least I still have my own sanity to rely on… But I reckon I don’t know how much longer that’ll last. Anyhow, I guess that’s everything I needed to say.
Hopefully I won’t have to write in this again anytime soon,
Applejack
Author's Note
Hey guys! This was the only chapter in this story that I didn't really have an initial idea for when I started writing, but I think it turned out just fine. I hope you liked this chapter, and if you did, please make sure to give it a thumbs up, and feel free to comment with your thoughts!
Dear Diary,
I know I usually only write in my diary on Nightmare Night or when Angel gets mad at me, but today, I’m making an exception.
I woke up this morning feeling totally fine. I was having a very pleasant week, just listening to the birds sing their songs and taking care of some newborn bear cubs. (They’re just so cute!) But this morning, Angel was acting very strangely.
He kept poking me with his paw and pointing towards the front door. My first thought was that he wanted me to go buy him some more snacks and toys, but when I checked, I found that he still had plenty of food left, and Angel’s old toys were still in great condition. I tried giving Angel a massage, feeding him extra, petting him more, and even carrying him around everywhere, but he still kept trying to lead me towards the front door.
It was a very traumatic experience, and I eventually started crying softly.
“Oh Angel! I’m sorry that I’m such a terrible owner! I don’t know what you want me to do,” I said. Angel rolled his eyes at me and ran back to the front door, this time banging on it as hard as he could until the lock broke, and it opened.
“Oh no! You broke the lock,” I said. Angel ignored me as he hopped out the door. A moment later, he returned holding a rolled up newspaper that had been delivered this morning just before Angel had started acting strangely.
I stared at the newspaper he held in his front paws for a moment. I knew he was trying to tell me something, but I couldn’t quite put my hoof on it. Then, I had a thought.
“Of course! You’re cold, aren’t you? You want me to use that for kindling!” Angel dropped the newspaper on the ground in order to slap himself in the forehead with his paw. Then, he picked the newspaper back up, came over to me, and slapped me across the face with it’s papery surface.
“Ow…”
When I didn’t do anything else, Angel proceeded to unroll the newspaper, jump onto my head, and hold the paper right in front of my face. I was about to ask him to please stop, but then I happened to read the front line of the newspaper.
“Oh no! I’m sorry Angel, but I think making a fire for you is going to have to wait! This says that there’s a pandemic going on!” I continued to read on through the front page as Angel stared at me, looking very annoyed.
“But that can’t be right. This says that the pandemic became official a whole week ago! That’s impossible . I’ve been out since then, and everything was fine.” Once I said it, I realized it wasn’t true. I hadn’t been out in a while. I guess I was just so preoccupied with the birds and bear cubs, that I just sort of… Didn’t go out.
Then I realized that in the time I’d been in my house, I hadn’t heard from my friends at all. What if something had happened to them? I turned to the next page of the newspaper.
‘Princess Twilight Sparkle and Friendship Counsel Respond Badly to Outbreak,’ the article read. What in Equestria could that possibly mean? My friends have always been such strong ponies. I would have thought that they would have responded better than most.
‘Princess Twilight Sparkle has enforced rules for guards to wear full hazmat suits that are burned and replaced every two hours. This is in stark contrast to her good friend and one of her lead advisors, Rainbow Dash, who has been trotting all across Ponyville completely exposed, coughing on anypony that gets within twenty feet of her. Another mysterious member of The Friendship Counsel, Pinkie Pie, had to spend a night in jail for disturbance of the peace. Then of course, there’s the trendy fashionista, Rarity, who has ponies protesting outside of her Ponyville boutique. When questioned, one of these protesting individuals named Lilly Lace spoke to one of our reporters.
‘’Rarity like, got my whole business started. She was like, literally my only role model. I never would have expected her to buy out all of the bottlesof my favorite brand of shampoo. It’s literally the only one I can use.’
‘Then of course, there’s Princess Twilight’s most honest advisor, Applejack, who confessed to a health inspector-after being harshly interrogated-that she has been a witness to gatherings of more than ten ponies, even confessing that there has been at least one wild party at Sweet Apple Acres hidden away in her family’s silo.
‘And while Princess Twilight and most of her counsel lose their good name and reliable reputation, the final member of the friendship counsel, Fluttershy, has been completely unreachable for the entire time of the outbreak. Some sources believe that the pegasus died, and her friend’s crazy behavior is a result of their grief for her, while others believe she’s simply too terrified to leave her home, but one thing's for certain. Wherever she is, she’s a help to nopony.’
“Oh dear,” I said as I finished reading the article. I could barely believe it. How had I not left the house for a week and not realized it? Well, I guess since I have such good friends, I just sort of got used to them coming over and bringing me out of my cottage every day or so.
From only reading those two articles, I could tell that the world was turning to chaos. (And not the kind that comes from Discord.) I knew I had to do something about it.
A little later, after a bit of procrastination, I wrapped an old towel around my muzzle as a make-shift mask, put on some disposable shoes, and went to the Ponyville Post Office to mail five letters that I’d just written. I only hoped that the post office was still open.
It turned out that the post office was supposed to be closed, but Derpy had decided to sit outside of the post office on the front porch, and deliver the mail that ponies normally would’ve taken inside the post office. No offense to Derpy, but usually I would’ve been a little nervous that she’d mix up the addresses, but luckily, the letters all had pretty much the same message, so even if she did, I was pretty sure my friends would understand what I meant.
A little later, I got home, then sat down in a chair on my front porch, and waited. And waited. And waited. In my letters, I’d asked my friends to meet me in front of my cottage at six in the afternoon, and it was already seven. I was beginning to worry when suddenly, Twilight teleported to a spot that was about twenty feet away from me. She was sporting a full-body hasmat suit, and holding a gallon-sized jug of disinfectant spray in midair with her magic.
“Hi Fluttershy! I’m so sorry to keep you waiting. Derpy delivered your letter at six-thirty four, and then I had to take some last minute precautions. Just basic stuff like changing hasmat suits forty-nine minutes early, getting together some-”
“Don’t look at me! ” Rarity interrupted loudly as she walked through the nearby trees, and made her way towards Twilight and I. Of course, me and Twilight both looked at her immediately.
Rarity had rotten tomatoes all over her. They were on her face, stuck in her mane and tail, and even on her hooves, leaving small red footprints everywhere she went.
“Is it really so hard to pretend it’s not that bad?” she asked. Then, she put her hoof to her head as if she was fainting. “I suppose that-”
“GET BACK!” Twilight yelled as she blasted Rarity away with her magic. I was very confused at first, but then I noticed that Rarity had just walked up around five or six feet away from Twilight. Rarity had fallen over, and she slowly stood back up, touching her hair with her hoof. When she realized that the force of Twilight’s magic had made her already… Slightly unattractive hair look even worse, her whole face turned as red as the tomatoes.
“Twilight! I can’t believe you would-”
“Hey girls! Wow, it’s been a while! What new cake flavors have you tried? And what’s the capital of Yakyakistan again? Oh, and I’m loving the new haircut, Rarity!” Pinkie said, showing up in the middle of Rarity’s sentence. It was clear that Twilight and Rarity wanted to object to her poorly timed appearance, but all three of us were silenced with one look at Pinkie’s insane looking hat. It looked almost like an umbrella or parasol, since it shielded Pinkie from the sky, but it wasn’t round or colorful. It looked like some sort of strangely shaped slab of some kind.
To everypony’s surprise, it was Rarity who first dropped the old conversation in order to confront Pinkie.
“Pinkie Pie…? What is that?” Rarity asked, pointing at the contraption above Pinkie’s head.
“Ooh! Good question! Let’s play ten questions later, okay? So, I promised the Cakes that I’d stay on the property during COVIB-19. But then I got arrested and- Oh, by the way, you should totally try Ponyville’s prison food! It’s the texture of mashed potatoes, but it tastes like artificial chicken mixed with rotting celery! Crazy, right? So I got arrested, and when I got back, the Cakes said I broke their rule of not leaving the property, and I was like ‘But the roof is part of the property,’ and they were like ‘Fine, we’re changing it. From now on, stay under the roof.’ So when I got Fluttershy’s letter, I didn’t know what to do at first, but then an idea hit me. Well, it didn’t actually ‘hit’ me. Wouldn’t that be so weird if ideas hit ponies? So, after I got the letter and had my idea, I got my secret chain-saw that I keep in my party-planning cave, and cut off a chunk of their roof! Then, I just super-glued it to a plastic tiara and put it on my head!”
We all stared at her silently, trying to comprehend everything she’d just blurted out in under ten seconds.
“I’m *cough* here!” Rainbow called from a few feet above us. “Sorry I’m so *cough* late. I started getting ready as soon as I got *cough cough* Fluttershy’s letter, but I didn’t really have the energy to *cough cough cough* get up and come over here until now. I’ve been *cough* more tired than usual recently. Although, more than anything I’m just *cough cough* tired of everypony making such a big deal about this dumb virus. *cough* Am I right?”
Twilight gaped at her, open-mouthed. Her left eye twitched.
“Think I’m just gonna *cough cough* curl up by you and take a nap,” Rainbow said as she dragged herself over to me, collapsed onto the floor, and grabbed my leg as if it was a teddy bear.
“Rainbow! That is a total violation!” Twilight yelled.
“Well I um-” I started quietly.
“Shut up, Twilight! Stop being *cough* ridiculous. I’m trying to sleep. Fluttershy’s *cough cough* fine with it.”
“Actually I-”
“No she’s not!” Twilight yelled even louder. Then, she started spraying my and Rainbow’s entire bodies with disinfectant until we were soaked.
“I can’t believe you!” yelled Rainbow.
“I can’t believe you !” yelled Twilight.
“Can everypony just-”
“Well I can’t believe Fluttershy hasn’t offered me some of her shampoo for my ugly mane! You’re hoarding it just like everypony else, aren’t you Fluttershy?” yelled Rarity.
“Wait, wha-”
“I’m gonna yell and interrupt Fluttershy too!” yelled Pinkie.
Then, Rainbow Dash got up and walked the ten feet towards Twilight. She started yelling offensive things in her face, not seeming to realize that it was her repeated coughing that was offensive to Twilight. Rarity crossed the few feet of distance next, although I couldn’t hear why over all of the yelling. Then Pinkie did the same, although I had a feeling that Pinkie might not even have a specific reason to have jumped into the fight. I had no clue what to do, and in the midst of the screaming, I heard hoofsteps a few feet away from me. It was Applejack.
After taking a look at all the arguing, Applejack started yelling too, though not as loud or crazy as the others.
“Great ! Good to see it ain’t just my family! Nopony even cares anymore, do they?” Then, before I knew what was happening, Applejack joined the others in their in-your-face screaming. I shrunk down into myself, not knowing what to do. What had happened during the pandemic that had turned my friends so crazy so quickly? It was like one moment, they were doing totally fine, and then the next, they were at each other’s throats. I understand that pandemics are scary, but why couldn’t they just be kind to each other? I had to stop this madness. I was determined.
“Uh, girls...?” I called timidly. They all ignored me, so I said it a few more times, but they still didn’t pay me any attention.
“Girls!” I yelled. Well, it was more the volume of how Pinkie talks on a daily basis, but for me, it was probably some of the loudest I’ve ever been. My friends looked over at me in unison. I started to shrink down again, but I managed to stop myself.
“I know we’ve all been having trouble lately, and that we all have different opinions about how best to cope with everything, but we’re best friends! We could get along before this despite our different opinions. What changed?”
Twilight rolled her eyes condescendingly.
“Maybe we could get along through our differences before, but this is serious!” Twilight said. That made me really sad.
“So that’s it then? After everything we’ve said and learned about how our differences bring us together, when things get serious, none of it matters anymore?” We all looked a little sad after that.
“I know what you’re saying darling, and I think it’s very sweet, but you must be able to tell how horribly they are responding to this! Their behavior is disastrous,” Rarity said.
“Us? I couldn’t even get my *cough cough* sensitive skin soap because of you! Not that I *cough* actually use those frufru brands or anything…” Rainbow countered.
“I think Fluttershy is right,” Twilight said, surprising us all. “We’ve all made a lot of mistakes in the past week, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t at least try to maintain our friendship. I guess I can admit that I might have gone a little overboard with my ‘precautions’.”
“I suppose you might have a point, Twilight. We’ve been through so much together. It would be tragic to simply give up now that we’re in a difficult position. And perhaps I didn’t need all forty-six bottles of conditioner that I purchased,” Rarity admitted.
“Hearing ya’ll admit your issues makes me think that I might need to have more faith in my family and friends. Just because we all make mistakes doesn’t mean I should give up on ponies so quickly,” Applejack added.
“I guess that even though I don’t believe in all of this virus crap, *cough cough* I should still respect that other ponies do believe in it and *cough cough* give them their space,” Rainbow said begrudgingly.
“I probably shouldn’t have cut such a big chunk of the Cake’s roof off for my hat… Oh, and getting arrested might not have been the greatest thing either,” Pinkie said.
“And I should be able to leave the house enough to hear about these things, even if my best friends aren’t there to remind me,” I said.
Normally, at a moment like this, we would’ve hugged, but given the circumstances, we all took a few steps back from our close proximity instead.
“So… Can we be friends again? Even through our differences and our current limitations?” I asked. I’m proud of myself for having been so forward with my questions.
“Well, we all know this dumb virus is *cough cough cough* not a big deal, so how about we just ditch caution altogether and come over to my house for a *cough* sleepover tonight?”
We all stared at her, unbelieving. She smiled and let out a hoarse laugh.
“Just kidding!” she said. We all laughed more light-heartedly than we had for what seemed like a very long time.
I think that’s about it for this entry. COVIB-19 is still a serious problem, but now, all six of us know that we can get through it. How? Because we have the most powerful magic of all to keep us from going insane: Friendship.
See you on Nightmare Night!
Fluttershy
Author's Note
Hey bronies and pegasisters!
I know this probably isn't the ending you were expecting, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless! I think that right now, a lot of people are growing apart because of their political beliefs, and while I certainly understand that at some point, enough is enough, I also think that behind most stupid ideas is a true purpose, and I ask you to take a moment to try to understand where your opposing friends are coming from before you dissmiss them. Sometimes continuing contact with people and educating them can prevent them from doing dumb things in the first place.
Anyway, enough of my rambling. Shout out to Ri2 for giving me the idea of Fluttershy not knowing about the pandemic! If you liked this story, make sure to give it a thumbs up, and tell me in the comments what your favorite entry was!
