The Pony Protection Agency

{Hugo}

I don't always just watch Alex, true he is my favorite person to watch, but sometimes I also like to watch Princess Twilight.

I couldn't help but laugh as I watched Princess Twilight and Alex's partner at the PPA, Violet, hatch a plan to help Alex break up with his awful girlfriend.

I grinned. "This is way too funny and cute."

Zane raised an eyebrow, "Huh?"

"Oh, it's funny because I know exactly what's going to happen next."

Zane rolled his eyes, "Let me guess, you had a vision about it didn't you?"

I nodded. "Yup! You guessed it! It's funny because Princess Twilight has made her mission to make Alex laugh in front of people and be okay with it. I think it's absolutely adorable! I can't wait until the vision I saw comes true. Trust me, the girlfriend that Alex has now doesn't deserve him and he doesn't deserve to be treated the way his girlfriend's treating him at the moment."

Zane chuckled, "I agree, Princess Twilight will be a good fit for Alex. A girlfriend and possibly a wife."

"Well, I don't know about a wife, but a girlfriend, yes," I said, "I haven't seen past that in my vision."

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see." Zane said.

I nodded. Princess Twilight will be a good girlfriend for Alex and if she becomes his wife, that's a bonus.

* * *

{Alex}

When we arrived at the scene of the last bonfire location every trace indicating a bonfire had been there was practically gone. Violet and Princess Twilight looked disappointed at what they saw and I don't blame them, I was kind of disappointed at this myself.

Violet frowned, "So what do we do now?"

I looked down at the remaining ashes and something in my brain told me I could do something with them even though there wasn't a lot of ashes. Hmmm, I wonder...

What is it? Star thought.

I don't know but for some reason, I feel something pulling towards those ashes even though there's not a lot. I thought.

Oh. Star thought.

I bent down and touched the ashes with my finger.

"Uh, Alex?" Princess Twilight asked.

I held up a hand to silence her. Violet smiled and nodded. After I touched the ashes a bright light shined and standing before me, or I should say floating before me, was the latest victim of Pinkie Pie's research, Bob Harper.

* * *

I jumped back when I saw him. I blinked. "Okay, how is this happening?"

Bob smiled, "Hi there Alex!"

"How do you know my name?" I asked.

"I know your name because you summoned me by touching my ashes," Bob answered, "It's some sort of energy coming from you and I don't know what it is. I think it's a good thing you summoned me."

I tilted my head, "But why would I summon you?"

Bob shrugged, "I'm going to assume with your energy, it could possibly help me cross over. Most of the time if a ghost hasn't crossed over yet, it's because of unfinished business. But since there's some strong energy coming from you, I think you can help me."

"Oh," I said, "so can you tell me who killed you?"

Bob paused. He seemed like he didn't want to tell me this information at first. I can understand that because he probably died a slow horrible death.

I sighed, "I understand why you might not want to tell me. I don't know how horrible your death was."

Bob exhaled slowly, "I can tell what I saw but I won't tell you anything else. One of my neighbors, she goes by the name Roxy from what I know of. She seemed kind and very polite at first. But the last time I talked to her I got some weird vibes from her. I thought about staying away from her but my curiosity got the better of me. So as I talked to her, she said she had some cool artifacts that she collected online. I was curious enough to see them. I made the dumb mistake of following her back to her apartment complex. I should've seen this coming when we entered through the back door."

It was heartbreaking when I saw Bob shudder a bit as he told his story. He continued, "Once we entered through the back door that's when I knew I made a mistake in trusting her. She tied me up and carried me down a hallway to the basement or at least it looked like a basement. She tied me down and kept wanting me to sing a song about smiling."

This time I shuddered, the very fact that someone wants the person they are killing to sing a smile is not just wrong and it's sick.

Bob frowned, "Yeah I know. This person was weird. Apparently she had no idea that if a human gets tied up and tortured like that, they're going to fight for their life until the very end. I'm an idiot, I shouldn't have trusted her. But… I did…"

I shook my head, "No you're not an idiot. You didn't know what was going to happen. You can't-" I paused. "You know what, nevermind on that last thought because I can."

Bob raised an eyebrow, "Can what?"

"I can see the future," I replied, "But I don't think these stupid visions are helping, considering Pinkie gets away from me every time."

"Did you just say Pinkie?" Bob asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, why?"

"Roxy kept saying something about Pinkie needs to do her research right before she killed me." Bob replied.

"Yeah, I'm going to catch your killer if it's the last thing I do!" I said, "She's sick and twisted, she needs to be brought to justice."

At this point I was livid with rage but I tried my best not to show it.

Bob smiled, "That's another thing I could sense from your energy, I know you will find her. Thanks, Alex, it's time for me to go now."

I stood there and watched as Bob floated up into the sky.

* * *

After Bob left I looked over to see Violet and Princess Twilight staring at me with looks of excitement on their faces.

I groaned, "Why are you two staring at me like that?"

"Sorry Alex," said Princess Twilight, "you were talking to that bright light that came from those ashes but we couldn't hear what you were talking about."

Violet smiled, "It looks like you've developed some sort of new ability."

I shrugged, "I guess so. The bright light you saw me talking to was the ghost of Bob Harper, the latest victim of Pinkie Pie's research. He was glad I summoned him because if didn't he would've been stuck here because of unfinished business."

Upon hearing this Princess Twilight looked down at the ground with tears in her eyes. "Oh."

I gave Princess Twilight a hug. "It's okay Terra, we'll find Pinkie Pie and bring her to justice."

Princess Twilight looked at me, nodded, then blushed and looked away. That made me feel a little weird so I let go of her.

I heard Violet tease, "Aww, you two look adorable together!"

Before I could say something to her I heard Star think, Uh, Alex?

Let me guess, incoming vision? I thought.

Yup! Star thought back.

I closed my eyes. What I saw looked like the inside of a police station. Detective S. Carter was looking at the missing person's database on his computer. He looked frustrated as he came up with nothing on his search. Detective A. Ryker opened the door and came into the room. "Still not finding anything?"

Detective S. Carter shook his head and frowned, "Nope. Zip. Zero. Nothing."

Detective A. Ryker sighed, "It's just like what happened with Luke Red, it's a dead-end so far."

"I still don't think we should think negatively yet," said Detective S. Carter, "I'm not giving up on this until we solve it."

Detective A. Ryker rolled her eyes, "You know there are serial killer cases that go cold right? I saw it happen plenty of times before I became a homicide detective."

"It's not going cold if I got something to say about it!" Detective S. Carter declared, "We'll keep working on it, or if you don't want to look, that's fine. But I'm going to keep looking."

Detective A. Ryker groaned, "It's going to be another long night isn't it?"

Before the end of the vision, I saw a number on the door to the office. The door was already open so it was easy to see.

Did you get that number? I thought.

Yeah. Star thought.

Good, because we're going to need it. We should probably give those detectives a call before we pay them a visit. I thought.

I opened my eyes. The excitement Princess Twilight and Violet would give me every time they thought I had a vision was starting to get annoying. "You know, those excited looks on your faces when I have a vision are starting to get annoying."

"I'm sorry Alex, but my best friend and fellow agent of the PPA is a seer now," Violet responded, "I mean can you blame us for being excited by this?"

"I know," Princess Twilight cheered, "I agree with Violet, this is so cool! So, what did you see?"

"Remember those two detectives that I saw in an earlier vision?" I asked.

Violet tilted her head, "Yeah, so?"

"Well, they're looking at the missing person's database and they're coming up with nothing," I explained, "I think we can help them and they can help us."

"How?" Violet asked.

"They're after the 'Bonfire Killer' right?" I said.

Princess Twilight nodded, "Yeah, oh I see! With your visions we can point them in the right direction to find Pinkie!"

"Maybe they'll be willing to give us information in return. Or if we team up with them, we'll be that much closer to catching Pinkie Pie." Violet suggested.

"I can't wait to bring Pinkie back to Equestria where she will be punished to the fullest extent of the law in Equestria! Or right now I wonder if killing her might be best for both Equestria and Earth." Princess Twilight said.

My jaw dropped at how much anger Princess Twilight was putting out at the moment. "Wow. I don't want you getting angry at me any time soon."

Princess Twilight gasped, "Oh no Alex, I could never be mad at you like that. I only get mad at rule-breakers like Pinkie! Rule breakers like her make us ponies look bad."

Violet grinned.

I rolled my eyes, "Would you stop giving me that look?"

Violet looked away, "What look? I'm not giving you a look."

I narrowed my eyes at her because I knew that she knew she was lying, "You know you're not a very good lair Violet. But okay, whatever. The first thing I need to do is make a phone call to those two detectives."

Princess Twilight tilted her head, "Why?"

"Because we don't just barge into a police station and ask to talk to someone," Violet explained.

"Well then, go make that call." Princess Twilight said.

I walked out of earshot and pulled out my cell phone. This is the phone I use when I'm on assignments. Mary doesn't know about this phone or the number, and with good reason. If she called me while I was on an assignment, that would put me and my partner in danger. Not to mention, she would be calling me every waking moment of the day.

Star relayed the number that we saw on the door to the detectives' office. The phone rang and I was put through to the receptionist. I asked to speak to Detective S. Carter and she put me through to him.

"Hello," I said, "is this Detective S. Carter?"

"Actually, it's Detective Simon Carter." Detective S. Carter said.

"My name is Alex Shipman, I have information on your 'Bonfire Killer'."

"Excuse me?" Detective Simon Carter said. Judging by the sound of his voice he didn't believe me, not one little bit, "What information do you know?"

"I know a little bit, is there a way I can come down to your office and tell you what I know?"

"Well, sure."

"What time?" I asked.

"If you could be here as soon as possible, that would be great." Detective Simon Carter said.

"Good, I can be there in a half-hour."

"Well, thanks Mr. uh…" Detective Simon Carter said.

"Mr. Shipman," I said, "Alex Shipman, see you soon."

I hung up the phone and went back to Violet and Princess Twilight.

"So, did you get an invite?" Violet said.

I nodded, "Yup and we should get a move on. I told him we'd be there in a half-hour."

With that being said, we got on our bikes and headed over to Detective Simon Carter's office.

* * *

When we arrived at Detective Simon Carter's office, he was doing paperwork. He looked up from his paperwork when he saw us. He smiled, "Ah, you would be Mr. Shipman right?"

I nodded, "Yes sir."

"So who are your friends?" Detective Simon Carter asked.

"Oh," I said, pointing to Violet, "this is my friend Violet," I pointed to Princess Twilight, "this is my friend Terra."

Princess Twilight gave Detective Simon Carter a small wave, "Hi there, Mr. Detective sir!"

Detective Simon Carter chuckled, "So, you said you know about our 'Bonfire Killer'. How do you know about it?"

"Because we know who she is!" Princess Twilight said before I could answer. "She's a rule-breaking rogue pony named Pinkie Pie!"

"Uh, Terra, I'm pretty sure he doesn't know about the PPA," I said.

Detective Simon Carter chuckled, "Did you just say rogue pony and the PPA? As in the Pony Protection Agency? We know about that place, it's a running joke around here because it's not real."

"Sorry sir, but we have evidence to prove otherwise," I said. I pointed to Princess Twilight. "Terra here is actually a pony in disguise herself."

Princess Twilight nodded, "Yup!"

Detective Simon Carter laughed, "I should probably call Ryker in here, so we can witness another one of Paul's jokes."

Detective Simon Carter went outside and called his partner Detective A. Ryker into his office.

Detective A. Ryker raised an eyebrow, "What's this all about Carter?"

"We're about to witness another lovely prank from Paul!" Detective Simon Carter laughed. "He's really outdone himself this time!" He pointed to Princess Twilight, "Apparently, this woman is a pony in disguise!"

I guess Princess Twilight had a feeling the two detectives would try to pull more people into the office so they could witness Pauls 'prank'. So she quickly used her magic to close the door, and close the blinds. She then pressed a finger to her forehead and changed into her pony form.

* * *

When Detective Simon Carter and his partner Detective A. Ryker saw Princess Twilight in her pony form their jaws dropped. Detective Simon Carter freaked out the most. The next thing I know he started shouting, "There's a pony in my office! There's a pony in my office! There's a pony in my office!"

Finally, Detective A. Ryker composed herself enough to cover Detective Simon Carter's mouth, "Deep slow breaths Carter, deep slow breaths."

Princess Twilight chuckled, "I figured you two might respond this way. So I shut the door, closed the blinds, and made this room soundproof with my magic."

Detective Simon Carter stopped freaking out and paused, "Soundproof?"

Princess Twilight pointed her hoof at the ceiling. I looked around the room to see a pink shimmering light that covered every wall of the room.

"This is called the Bubble of Silence spell," explained Princess Twilight, "no sound can get out unless I say so."

Detective A. Ryker, looked around the room in disbelief, "Okay then."

Princess Twilight had a look of pride on her face, "Yup! Now I could do a spell that allows me to talk to you through a book but that might freak you out even more."

I rolled my eyes, "No kidding!"

Detective Simon Carter composed himself, "I'm going to assume you guys are agents of the PPA?"

Violet nodded, "Uh-huh."

"So how do you even know about us?" Detective A. Ryker said. She gave us a skeptical look.

"Well you see, Alex is a-" Princess Twilight started.

I nudged her on the shoulder before she could finish her sentence, "Sssh, I think they need to know about that right now."

"Oh." Princess Twilight said.

"Let's just say, I have certain talents that helped me track you guys down." I said.

Detective Simon Carter chuckled, "Yeah, you're not the first guy that's said that to me."

Then I felt an incoming vision and this time, Star didn't even have to tell me about it.

Thanks vision, perfect timing. I thought.

I closed my eyes and I saw Pinkie Pie in human form carrying a lifeless body of a young white woman. The woman was dressed in a grey t-shirt and blue jeans. Pinkie Pie had already dug a small hole big enough to put the woman's body in.

"I'm sorry Cathy," said Pinkie Pie, "I'm done researching you and I've seen those two detectives put out my bonfires. They're definitely party poopers! I wonder what the brain of a detective looks like? I would also like to examine the brains of those two agents of the PPA and maybe I'll examine Twilight this time too. No one will stop my fun if I have anything to say about it!"

I saw Pinkie Pie look over at a nearby red barn. "You know something? I might actually go examine those animals in the barn over there. I can't wait to see what their brains look like! Then you'll have lots and lots of friends!"

After Pinkie Pie buried the body she went inside the barn.

I opened my eyes, I saw Violet and Princess Twilight giving me looks of excitement.

I growled, "Would you two stop giving me those looks every time I have a vision?"

"As I said before, we can't help it," said Violet, "it's just so cool that you can do that now. So, what did you see?"

"Well, I saw Pinkie Pie talking to a dead body. She's upset with you two detectives for putting out her bonfires. She's upset with us for tracking her down. She's upset with you, Princess, for whatever reason. She wants to examine our brains to see what they look like." I answered.

Princess Twilight then did the universal sign as if to say someone's 'crazy'. "Yup she's lost it! Lovely, first she researches the males of a species and then she goes over to the females. So did she kill a male or female this time?"

"It was a female." I answered.

Detective Simon Carter looked confused. "Wait, what? All of the evidence we have says that only men have been killed."

"Nope, Pinkie does this all the time. It probably would be best if she was dead." Princess Twilight explained. "At this point, I wouldn't mind doing the honors of killing her myself!"

Violet and I gasped at this statement.

"But I thought you were all about protecting your friends?" Violet said.

"My friends yes, I'll protect them, " Princess Twilight replied, "enemies no. Right now Pinkie has shown she's an enemy of both Earth and Equestria," She stomped her hoof on the ground in anger, "Pinkie's just about as bad as Alex's controlling girlfriend. But at least with Pinkie I can take her down and bring her to justice."

Detective Simon Carter, Detective A. Ryker, and Violet chortled at this.

"See Alex?" Violet teased, "All you have to do is flush that turd down the toilet and run as far away from her as possible."

"Where are we going to find Pinkie now?" Princess Twilight asked.

I was thinking about something. Star thought.

What? I thought.

Well, you have magic, Princess Twilight has magic. I wonder if you can transfer the location details that you saw in the vision to her. I'm pretty sure she can do a teleportation spell since she's an Alicorn and all. Star thought.

Huh, that's not a bad idea. I thought.

"Alex, you know the details on where the burial site is." Violet said. "What are they? Because we need to get going soon, if we want to catch her."

"Actually," I said, "I have a question for the princess."

"Yes, what is it?" Princess Twilight said.

"Can you do a teleportation spell by chance?" I asked.

Princess Twilight nodded. "Well yes, why?"

I went over to her and whispered into her ear what I was thinking.

"Oh but I don't-" Princess Twilight started.

"You will soon." I put a hand on her forehead and transferred the vision details over to her.

Her ears perked up and she smiled. "Well, that's an interesting way to give information. But information nonetheless."

"Okay," said Detective Simon Carter, "where do we go from here?"

"Well, I have an idea, but first time travelers are bound to be a little queasy." Princess Twilight responded.

"What are you talking about Princess?" Violet asked.

"It's a teleportation spell I can do," Princess Twilight explained, "even though you'll be there in the blink of an eye it tends to make the ones traveling with me a little sick the first time it's done."

Suddenly, I'm not sure if I like the idea of traveling through a teleportation spell. I thought.

I can understand that. Star thought. But we have to get to the burial as fast as we can or we'll lose Pinkie again!

Fine. I thought.

Violet turned to me, "So what do you think Alex?"

"I say we go for it," I said, "it's the fastest way to get there. So yeah."

"Alright then," said Princess Twilight, "let's go! We'll be there in like five seconds tops by my count!"

I braced myself as Princess Twilight charged up her horn. Before I knew it, Detective Simon Carter's office was gone and when I opened up my eyes again, we were at Pinkie's burial site.