The Pony Protection Agency

{Alex}

As soon as we got to Pinkie Pie's soon-to-be burial site of the woman I saw in the vision, everyone except Princess Twilight pretty much lost their lunch.

I puked and groaned, "You weren't kidding about getting queasy."

"Oops, sorry about that guys," said Princess Twilight, "but it's the easiest and fastest way to travel. I practice this spell just about every day! It's actually my favorite spell to do."

Detective Simon Carter, Detective A. Ryker, and Violet were too busy throwing up at a nearby tree to even speak at the moment. Princess Twilight did the healing spell to help everyone to recover from puking. When I finally stopped puking, Princess Twilight said, "So where will Pinkie be coming from this time?"

I pointed in the direction where I saw Pinkie Pie come from in the vision. Princess Twilight stomped a hoof on the ground, she was getting ready to charge in that direction but I stepped in front of her to make her stop. "Why Alex?"

"Due to the fact that Pinkie Pie hasn't come here yet, she's not going to be here for another-" I said.

Princess Twilight pointed behind me, "She's coming from there, and yes, she's talking to a dead body."

"Shit." I turned around to see Pinkie Pie standing there carrying a dead body over her shoulder.

"What the fuck do we have here?" Pinkie Pie laughed wickedly, "All five bitches that I want to examine standing right in front of me. I wonder, how come you haven't tripped my alarms yet?"

It was as if Princess Twilight knew exactly what was going to happen next. "Oh, hell no Pinkie!"

Pinkie Pie's look went from amused to shocked as Princess Twilight picked up me, Detective Simon Carter, Detective A. Ryker, and Violet in her magic. She also picked Pinkie Pie up with whatever spell she was doing. She picked up the dead body Pinkie Pie was carrying off the ground too.

I looked down in horror to see three bear traps along with floor traps and a rope tied up to a nearby tree that Princess Twilight had saved us from. I could tell from the look on Princess Twilight's face that she was having trouble holding the spell.

"Muahaha!" Pinkie Pie laughed, "I know this spell very well Twilight. You only have two more seconds left to hold this spell. It's a shame you were too busy reading books to perfect this spell. This is the hardest spell for an Alicorn to do. I know, I looked it up. Once you let me go, I'll be gone in the blink of an eye with my magic necklace. I'm glad I keep it on me when I'm burning my research subjects. Although I do hate wearing human clothes. Oh well," She then gave us a sinister smile and started singing, "Come on everypony smile, smile! Fill my heart up with sunshine, sunshine! All I really need is a smile, smile, from these happy friends of mine!"

Pinkie Pie was right, Princess Twilight had to let go of us and she dropped everyone but Pinkie Pie away from harm. Laughing like a psycho Pinkie Pie said, "Oh well, I must be going! Too bad I can't give Cathy any more friends. Sorry, Cathy, I'll just have to leave you behind. Goodbye!"

Like Pinkie Pie said she would, she touched her magic necklace and disappeared.

* * *

Once Pinkie Pie left, all of us got to our feet.

"Okay, what was that creepy song about?" I questioned.

Princess Twilight exhaled slowly, "Pinkie calls it 'The Smile Song'. Originally, she would parade around town and sing it just to cheer ponies up. It worked for the most part. Then she started using that song to hide her evil intentions. She was right about the spell I did. I can only hold it for so long and then I have to let go."

When Princess Twilight started to cry I gave her a hug. It seemed to work and she stopped crying. I let go and Princess Twilight wiped away her tears with a hoof. I looked over to see Violet smiling at me. "What's the look for?"

"I finally figured out why you and that turd you have for a girlfriend aren't compatible," Violet remarked.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Let's see, for as long as I've known you, you have compassion and can't stand it when people cry in front of you," Violet answered, "Mary could care less about that. If you ask me, I don't think that turd has a soul."

Detective Simon Carter laughed, "That bad huh?"

Violet nodded, "Yup. I've been telling Alex for quite some time to flush the turd down the toilet. You know how it goes."

Violet made a motion as if flushing a handle on a toilet. She added a sound effect to go with. Everyone started laughing except me because I kept telling myself not to laugh.

Princess Twilight looked at me, "You know you can laugh at that, Alex. No one's going to discipline you for laughing."

Detective A. Ryker tilted her head, "Huh? You got disciplined for laughing Alex? By who?"

I sighed, "It's a long story."

"Oh, I see." Detective A. Ryker said.

"Anyway, what do we do now?" Princess Twilight asked.

This whole seer thing is getting more and more complicated by the minute.

Why doesn't a vision come when I need one? I thought.

I don't know, because I don't think it works that way. Unless… Star thought.

I paused and thought, Unless what?

I don't know, I doubt it'll work anyway. We'll just work with what we have to go by for now. Star thought.

Okay, I guess. I thought. I stopped talking to Star and saw everyone looking at me for guidance. I shook my head, "I don't know where we should go next for the time being. I don't get visions every waking moment of the day. I think we should go back to headquarters."

"I guess we should call ahead to give the two detectives access to the PPA before we go," Violet suggested.

I nodded, "That would probably be a good idea."

* * *

{Hugo}

I sat back in my chair watching as Alex and everyone that was with him had an encounter with the 'Bonfire Killer' Pinkie Pie. "So, that's the 'Bonfire Killer' Pinkie Pie?"

"It's funny how Princess Twilight knew exactly what Pinkie Pie was going to do?" Zane inquired.

I sighed, "She's been a victim of Pinkie Pie's research, so of course she would know what was coming."

I looked over at Zane to see he looked like he had a chill down his spine. "And that creepy 'smile song'? Yeah, I agree with Princess Twilight, Pinkie Pie needs to be brought to justice. Can't you help them?"

I shook my head, "Nope, that's not how this works. I have the responsibility to rule over the Underground. I was told I can only go outside when I'm going to give to the human world another half-child."

Zane chuckled, "Yeah, I don't want that job either. I'm a one-woman kind of guy."

I rolled my eyes, "I know, I've heard you say that many times before."

"I wonder, when are you going to send an invitation for Bear to come and watch Alex with us?" Zane asked.

I sighed, "I've tried to invite him, but he's always busy. So it's just you and me for now."

Zane nodded, "I see. I wonder if Princess Twilight and Violet's plan to get Alex to break up with his girlfriend will work?"

I smiled, I didn't want to say anything about what was going to happen next. "Sorry Zane, I can't say a word."

Zane rolled his eyes because he knew that I knew what was coming up next.

* * *

{Alex}

It was nightfall by the time we got back to PPA HQ. Detective Simon Carter and Detective A. Ryker were given access to stay there and they were given room assignments too.

I noticed that Princess Twilight was the most exhausted out of all of us. I had a feeling it was probably because of doing that teleportation spell and the spell that saved us from Pinkie Pie's traps that almost killed us.

I knew Princess Twilight's room was on the other side of HQ, so I pulled her to the side. "You look tired, Princess."

Princess Twilight yawned, "Yeah I am. I'm pretty sure once I get some sleep, I should be fine and ready to go back out and catch Pinkie again."

Once again, I found myself thinking about how cute she is not just in her human form, but in her pony form too. I figured the least I could do was help her out when she's done some much for us lately. "Um, princess?"

"Yes, Alex?" Princess Twilight asked.

"I was thinking, maybe you should stay in my room tonight?" I suggested.

Princess Twilight tilted her head, "Why?"

"Because it's closer to where we are now," I replied. "And it's the least I could do since you've helped us out so much already."

"You don't have to do that for me." Princess Twilight protested.

I smiled. "I know, but I want to do it."

Before we could head over to my room, Violet pulled Princess Twilight off to the side and whispered into her ear. She smiled and nodded, "I know, we can do that tomorrow. No, I won't tell him. No, that's not going to happen tonight. I wish you would stop teasing me about it!"

Violet laughed and I saw she had a mischievous smile on her face when Princess Twilight and I headed over to my room.

The room I live in at the PPA is basically a small apartment. It's furnished, and in each room, I had what one would expect to see in an apartment like a couch and a Tv. In the kitchen I had a table, a fridge, and a sink. I have a full bathroom, which has a shower and a sink, and the room is decorated with tiles on the walls and floors.

Then there's my bedroom which isn't really much to look at. There's a bed and a dresser with my clothes in it. I don't feel the need to decorate everything when I'm always on the move. Especially when I don't sleep in my apartment every night when I'm on an assignment.

Since I'm an agent for the PPA, the rent comes out of my paycheck.

When I opened the door, Princess Twilight looked around the place with awe. I gave her a quick tour of the place. I couldn't get over how adorable she looked when she looked around and examined everything. She was as adorable as she did when she examined my bike.

"Wish I'd brought a notebook and quill with me!" Princess Twilight exclaimed. I guess I was smiling at her again because she looked over at me, "I've noticed you've been smiling at me a lot lately. Now if only you could add a laugh to that, it would be nice."

I felt myself blush, so I looked away. "I, um…"

Princess Twilight snorted, "No matter, one of these days, I'm going to make you laugh. Not just in front of me, but in front of everyone else and be okay with it. I'm going to do something so funny that you won't be able to hide your laughter in front of everyone even if you wanted to."

I raised an eyebrow, "Uh-huh, yeah, sure you are."

"So, where do I sleep?" Princess Twilight asked.

I pointed at my bedroom, "You can sleep in there and I'll just sleep out on the couch."

Princess Twilight shook her head rapidly, "No, that's not going to work Alex! I'm your guest! I can't take over your bed!"

"Okay," I bit the inside of my cheek trying to figure out what to do next. There was an awkward silence between us.

Princess Twilight broke the silence, "I know what might work!"She said as she changed into her pony form. "You can still sleep in your bed, as long as I have enough pillows to sleep on, I can sleep on the floor next to you."

"You sure about that?" I asked.

Princess Twilight nodded. "Yup!"

"Okay then." I grabbed as many pillows that I could find and made a neat pile for her to sleep on. Once she curled up on the pile and went to sleep, I got changed and went to sleep myself.

* * *

When I fell asleep I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or having a vision. But all I saw was Princess Twilight standing in front of me in her human form. She was saying something but what it was, I didn't know because I couldn't hear it. I didn't know why it happened, but for some reason, I kissed Princess Twilight and that was when I opened my eyes.

When I opened my eyes, I heard Star laughing in my head. What is so funny?

I felt your emotions Alex and you like her. Star thought.

Uh, like who? I thought.

Star laughed and thought, I can feel her emotions too and she likes you.

Yeah, no. I thought.

Star snorted and thought, You just had a vision about kissing her. I could tell from your feelings it really turned you on!

Excuse me? I thought. I pulled back the covers and looked to see that my underwear was wet. Great…

I looked down at Star to see that she was glowing green. Then I heard Star laughing and she thought in a sing-song voice, You're going to get a new girlfriend!

Then I realized Star was right about me having feelings for Princess Twilight, because of how cute I thought she was time and time again. The vision that I had just had confirmed my feelings for her.

* * *

{Princess Twilight}

The next day I thankfully woke up before Alex did. I couldn't wait to put the plan Violet and I talked about to get Alex to break up with his awful girlfriend named Mary. I cast the sleeping spell on him to make sure that he would stay asleep at least for another half an hour or so. Once I saw the sleeping spell worked, I headed out the door to meet up with Violet. Before I headed out the door, I changed into my human form.

I saw Violet and she had a smile on her face, "You ready to do this?"

I nodded, "Yup, if it means getting Alex away from that evil woman, I'm ready to do this!"

"Thankfully, I just got another cell phone from the store at headquarters," Violet said, "So once this phone call is done, I'm shutting this one off and Mary's not getting my new phone number that's for sure. I don't feel like getting any more angry phone calls from her ever again. Trust me, there's going to be an angry mob outside her house if she makes him quit his job again."

I nodded, "I agree, and I will go with you on that. What's her full name?"

"Gretter," responded Violet, "Mary Gretter."

Once Violet dialed the number she handed the phone over to me. The phone rang a couple of times and Mary answered it. "Gretter's residence, may I ask who's calling?"

"Yeah, is this Mary Gretter by chance?" I asked.

"Speaking, who is this?" Mary questioned.

"My name is Terra," I said, "I'm a close personal friend of Alex and I have something to say to you."

Mary chuckled, "Oh really? What might that be?"

"I've heard about the mean things you've done to Alex. He's living far away from you because of it." I informed her.

"Is that why he's gone for weeks at a time and not at home spending time on my days off with me?" Mary asked.

"Yup, that's exactly why," I growled, "let me tell you, something lady. Alex doesn't have to be at your house every waking moment of the day."

"Actually he should-" Mary started.

"No, he doesn't!" I snapped, "You should know that Alex can be friends with whoever he wants to."

"Yeah, not with me he can't." Mary snarled.

"What are you?" I bickered, "His mother? In case you didn't notice he's a grown adult! You're so mean and abusive to him, I'm going to do everything in my power to take him away from you. He doesn't need friends like you and if you even try to make him quit his job, I'll come and find you, and I don't care if I get jail time because of it."

"Oh yeah?" Mary sneered.

"Yeah!" I hissed, "So take this threat to heart. Like I said, I don't care if I have to do jail time to get him away from you. Got that?"

"Yeah, whatever, good luck with that! Alex isn't leaving me, so goodbye!" Mary roared.

I smiled as the phone on her end of the conversation went dead.

* * *

When I got off the phone, Violet smiled at me, "How did it go?"

"I think it went fine," I said, "like I told her, I don't care if I do jail time myself if it'll get Alex away from that evil woman!"

I didn't realize that Detective Simon Carter and A. Ryker were standing right behind me and Violet.

"What's up?" Detective Simon Carter asked.

I smiled, "Nothing, I just did something that'll hopefully get Alex to break up with his turd girlfriend."

Violet nodded. "I agree. Let's hope this is the straw that breaks the camel's back."