Chapters The Grimdark 6 Vol Three: Dark Humor
It was the end of a normal day in Equestria. Or at least, a new normal day.
Thousands of soldiers were making their way home from the Centerlot Training grounds, each baring horrendous scars both old and new.
None of these injuries were due to fighting. In fact, most of the soldiers in question had never seen a real battle in their lives. They had received every scar, and lost every tooth, during their training.
Two years ago, such harsh training would've been unthinkable in Equestria. But two years ago, everything changed. The Dark Eldar taught the friendly races of Equestria that Friendship would only get them so far.
And so Aries, the exiled Space Marine that swore to protect Equestria out of spite for the Ruinous Powers of Chaos, was given authority to draft one hundred members of each species and train them how he wished.
Since that day, the ranks of the War Hound's Planetary Defense Force had swelled to over 2,000 creatures, armed and armored by the latest advancements in weapons and armor Equestria could offer.
Nopony felt safe anymore, but the trainees felt ready. However, there were some who went above and beyond the basic training of common soldiers and vied for rank.
These elite creatures continued to spar for three hours longer, determined to become the most elite fighters in all of Equestria.
Commander Pharynx, Aries' second in command, oversaw the training of these ambitious warriors. Dragons, Yaks, Griffins, and numerous defectors of the Wonderbolts following Spitfire's example. Even Rainbow Dash had committed herself to such training: sparring against larger foes, dodging training bullets from the new Equestrian Defenders, and having Princess Luna trap her and the other trainees in battlefields taken from Aries' memories.
In the center of the training grounds, the War Hound himself sparred with his star pupil: Freedom Fighter.
Aries had been surprised, and secretly grateful, when he learned that Equestrians could change their names if they believed their current name didn't fit them any longer. Though he was far more surprised, and openly impressed, with how far the Earth Pony once known as Pipsqueak had come.
The young Colt had grown vastly larger in the two years since he earned his Cutie Mark, and would one day rival, or even dwarf, the likes of Big Mac and Rockhoof. And his size did little to hinder his speed.
Freedom Fighter fought like a mad beast to the untrained eye, taking full advantage of the enchanted armor he wore that repelled Aries' Power Sword with ease. Aries was forced to move just as fast and frantically, desperately trying to stay at his side or front.
He had made the mistake of attacking the Earth Pony's back only once. Requiring magical medical attention was worth learning that the young Colt could buck strong enough to rupture a Space Marine's organs and dent their armor...and he was still growing.
Aries tried again and again to put his sword to the Colt's neck and end the duel, but his pauldrons were modeled after Aries' own and Freedom was just too fast on his turns as he sought to plant his hooves into the War Hound's chest.
Finally, after determining that Freedom wouldn't have to worry about direct confrontations, Aries decided to be more tactical in his approach and backed off.
Freedom looked at him, he knew what the War Hound was planning. If the Colt charged at Aries, Aries would charge as well and take Freedom's head before he could slow down enough to turn his armored body.
The Colt snorted like a bull and walked forward at a calm pace, eyes focused on his opponent like a Manticore on its prey.
Aries walked forward as well, Warp Eater held out with its tip cutting a path into the ground. The two warriors kept their pace until they were two meters away. Then, Aries struck.
Freedom Fighter turned to meet his mentor's blade with his hooves, but stopped short when he heard the telltale sound of a large armored being rolling forward.
Sure enough, Aries' charge had lasted just long enough to see which direction Freedom would turn his body so that he could leap to the other side and shoulder-roll in front of him. He landed on his knees and swung his sword behind him in one motion.
Had Freedom Fighter not stopped his buck, he would've been helpless. But with all four hooves on the ground, he was able to rear up in an attempt to keep the blade away from his neck.
It didn't work. Warp Eater's Power Field deactivated as the blade found its mark, the naked steel cutting the Colt's neck just enough to draw blood and end the duel.
"Next time, raise your front legs higher to guard your neck." Aries said as he rose his feet and mag locked his sword to his hip.
Freedom Fighter snorted and shook his head in frustration. Aries however was thoroughly impressed.
The first time he saw the Colt's Cutie Mark, he didn't know what to think, but he had felt confident in the fact that a pony of Equestria would never compare to one of his brothers.
Yet, in the two years since, Freedom Fighter had proven beyond doubt that had he been born a human, had he been chosen as an aspirant, he would surely become an Astartes.
The strength of an Earth Pony eclipsed Aries' own by far and wide, but it wasn't the Alien's monstrous power, or the child's untapped potential that convinced Aries. No, it was the warrior's determination to get stronger at the cost of great pain.
Astartes trials were far deadlier than that of common soldiers, those of the World Eaters far more so, yet Aries was convinced that this boy, even as an ordinary human, had what it took to pass them...a shame that he would never be given the chance.
But all else considered, Aries had found himself thinking of the Colt as a battle-brother...albeit an adopted one.
The War Hound turned from Freedom Fighter to note that the other trainees were finishing up their training as well. "That will be all for today. Though I am sure you all wish to push yourselves further, it would be unhealthy." Aries declared.
With varying forms of acknowledgement, the warriors left the training grounds, concluding a normal day.
Elsewhere
The sun was setting outside, the usual time for Ponies to start turning on the lights. But a single room within Fluttershy's cottage already had every light on, with additional lights placed to prevent the existence of a single shadow save one under the bed. This room had been lit up in such a manner for the last two years, for the benefit of its lone occupant.
Three knocks resounded on the door. "It's time for lunch, may I come in?" Silence greeted the voice, as expected. The door opened five seconds later to reveal Fluttershy carrying a tray that held a cup of mashed fruits and vegetables, a glass of water, and a funnel of all things.
The kind Pegasus looked around the illuminated room, her eyes shielded from the excessive light by a pair of sunglasses that looked absolutely ridiculous on her, before finding the tail of the room's occupant sticking out from under the bed.
Fluttershy put the tray of food on a small table in the room's center and laid down beside the bed. "Cozy Glow? Can you hear me?"
The filly in question didn't react. Again, Fluttershy expected this. Cozy Glow had suffered the most of any living creature from the attack of the Dark Eldar. And had barely made any progress in recovering from the ordeal since.
Greenskin, an Ork that had been tortured to the point of submission by the foul Drukhari, had saved the filly's life and sought to nurse her back to health. But while Fluttershy was able to nurse Greenskin back to health in a matter of weeks, Cozy Glow had barely recovered to a point that reminded Fluttershy of herself when she first met Twilight.
"It's time to eat." Fluttershy stated while using her hooves to gently drag the motionless filly out from her hiding spot. She moaned, but didn't resist.
She pulled Cozy Glow to her hooves and walked the filly to the table where her lunch was waiting.
Cozy Glow's eyes drifted down to the tray before the filly tilted her head up and opened her mouth. Fluttershy grabbed the funnel and placed it in the filly's mouth and poured in the mashed food followed by the water. It wasn't a proper way for anycreature to eat, but it was better than Greenskin's method of working her jaw with his hands.
Fluttershy took the funnel out of the filly's mouth. "...may I go now?" The filly asked in a soft voice. As soon as Fluttershy nodded, Cozy Glow went back under the bed. Finding Cozy Glow hiding there the first time 6 months ago had been the first sign of progress since she was flayed alive and sutured onto the tortured body of Tirek.
Fluttershy had since moved the filly's covers and pillow into her hideaway and removed the light that used to be under there, as Cozy Glow would turn it off to hide herself.
Fluttershy took the tray and walked out of the room. She thought she might've heard a quiet 'thank you' but she had more likely just imagined it. Apparently Greenskin, had got her to have a conversation with him once. She did seem to like the Ork better, but Greenskin was needed elsewhere on account of...them.
"Zogg it all 'Ooknose! Spit it out! 'Ow many toimes do I 'ave tah tell ya dat da only animalz yer allowed ta eat is Eating Squigs!!" The bellowing voice of Greenskin rang out, alerting Fluttershy to a dire emergency.
The kind Pegasus quickly took off down the stairs to Cozy Glow's room and out the door of her cottage. She landed harshly in front of the cause of the commotion, the first Orkoid to spawn from Greenskin's spores: Hooknose the Snotling...who was trying to eat a terrified chipmunk.
Fluttershy didn't bother with words and went straight to the Stare. The Snotling dropped the chipmunk without a word...like he did every time.
Hooknose got his name immediately after he was born. The first thing he had tried to do was eat Angel, who had been resting under a tree at the time.
The Snotling had pounced at the rabbit with a hungry shriek, and Angel jumped out of the way: resulting in a head on, or rather, nose on collision with the tree. Hooknose had been trying to eat anything smaller than him ever since...he was just too stupid not to.
Greenskin grabbed the Snotling and shook him like a rag doll. "Dat's a bad Snotling! BAD!! NOW SAY YER SORRY!" Greenskin shoved Hooknose at the overhead branch the chipmunk was now sitting...prompting the Snotling to try and catch it again.
Greenskin threw Hooknose to the ground before he could claim his prize. "'OOOOOKKNOOOOSSSEEE!!!!"
Fluttershy sighed, Hooknose was two months old, and one of three Snotlings to be born. Yet, the other two seemed at least smart enough to realize that trying to eat small animals got them in trouble...and they were younger.
"Aw Zogg. I'll nevah get dis Snotlin' tah listen tah me." Greenskin groaned. "'Ow do ya do it Boss?"
Fluttershy thought about how to respond. "Um..w-well, I-" Fluttershy stopped when she realized that Hooknose had recovered from his tossing and snuck behind Greenskin to climb the tree with the chipmunk again.
Hooknose stopped climbing when a shadow over him and turned to see Fluttershy Staring at him.
Hooknose let go of the tree and promptly fell down. Fluttershy instinctively caught the Snotling and lowered him down, but she held her Stare on him until he decided to go somewhere else.
Watching for a moment to make sure he was heading where the other Snotlings and Eating Squigs resided, Fluttershy turned back to Greenskin. "I have just as much trouble with him as you Greenskin, he really is a problem."
"Y-yeah, I know dat. It'z jus'...dat fing ya do, 'ow ya do it?" Greenskin followed up his question by squinting really hard.
"...Ar-are you trying to do the Stare?" Fluttershy asked.
"Yeah, dat fing. 'Ow ya do it?" The Ork asked.
"Oh, that's mostly just body language. Basically, you uh...tell somecreature not to do something...with your eyes?" Fluttershy was absolutely certain that there was a better to say it, but was there one an Ork would understand?
"Oh, okay. I'll go practice." Greenskin turned to go inside the cottage so he could find a mirror...only to turn his head in the sound of an angry moose and a frantic Snotling.
Greenskin and Fluttershy groaned, their normal day was far from over.
Elsewhere
"That'll be two bits please." Pinkie Pie said to the scarred Pegasus warrior as she handed him his favorite pastry. He smiled back as he took the bagged item in his teeth and walked off, briefly revealing how few teeth were left in his mouth.
PDF trainees going home for the day were most, if not all, of the customers Sugar Cube Corner received these days. They were the only ones who weren't living in dread of the next attack by villains from beyond the stars.
The scarred Pegasus had been the last PDF trainee for the day, so when he left, a normal shop owner would've closed up for the day. But Pinkie would stay behind the counter for a little longer...she didn't have much else to do.
The pink party pony had turned from the door to check on some pastries she had in the oven when the bell above the door rang, signaling the arrival of a new customer.
Pinkie Pie turned back around in a blur. "HI! WELCOME TO SUGAR CUBE CORNER! WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU TO-daaaaayy..." Pinkie Pie's enthusiasm died as soon as she realized just who, and what, was standing before her.
"Hehehehe, the sound of hope dying is truly my favorite sound. You really do know how to make everycreature enjoy your presence." Spoke the newcomer. An Eldar wearing the multicolored unitard of the Harlequins beneath the iconic black coat of a Death Jester, his skeletal mask smiling at the Earth Pony while his Shrieker Cannon was slung over his shoulder.
Pinkie's heart sank as she took an exhausted sigh. "So...it's time to write the third volume, huh?"
The Death Jester snorted in amusement. "Typical Mon'Keigh, believing your third role to play in a story eons in the making would be the third volume."
"It's the third volume featuring this cast of characters, some of whom are going to die, so GET OFF MY BACK!!!" Pinkie shouted.
The Death Jester threw his head back and laughed. "A Haha Haha Haha Hahaa, I think we're going to get along just fine. My name is Krae'Nakh."
And so ended the last new normal day, a new new normal would soon emerge from the Chaos to come.
Elsewhere
Beyond the realm of Equestria, in another dimension entirely, a very not normal day was reaching its climax.
Oh, it was normal to most denizens of this world. But to the graduating students of Canterlot High, it was a day of celebration that they would remember for the rest of their lives.
"And now, representing our graduates this year, a student who has brought more magic to this school than anyone ever thought possible, in more ways than one, SUNSET SHIMMER!!" The crowd watching the podium erupted in cheers as Principal Celestia stepped down to let her most unique student take the stage.
The Unicorn turned human, and villain turned hero, looked out at the crowd of people that once feared her as a tyrant and were now celebrating her graduation, and then to her friends: the human counterparts of Princess Twilight Sparkle and her group of friends back in Equestria.
Sunset had prepared a speech for this day, one that would probably...inevitably, end in a song. But as she opened her mouth to speak...she screamed.
The graduating students and their parents could only watched in confusion as Sunset Shimmer fell to the ground screaming. Confusion that swiftly turned to horror when she started trying to claw her eyes out.
Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna quickly rushed to restrain the girl. When they did, they realized that Sunset had lost control of her bowls and bladder and was weeping in terror at something only she had seen.
Something that had pondered her for only a moment, something that she had only noticed as it investigated her because of her Empathetic powers, something that was so vile, so evil, that Sunset had barely recognized it...but for its core belief: a motto Sunset had heard numerous times before without ever realizing just how evil the man who said it was.
All power demands sacrifice...
Author's Note
I'm BAAAAAACK!!!
Yes, I know I said that I was going to write an original story before I started the third Volume. But due to recent events (FUUUUUCK GAAAAMES WOOOOORRKSHOOOOOPP!!!!!) I felt the need to get as much done as I can before those idiots try to go after fanfics too.
I am still working on my Fantasy Novel though. I've got the prologue and three chapters done and...wow, writing an entire world into existence is freaking hard. How did Tolkien do it?
Now, about this chapter: two years have passed since the events of Volume 2, as a reference to the two years that have passed since I started writing the Grimdark 6. And I skimped on a lot of the exposition that I had planned for this chapter because wow did this get long.
But yes, we have Pipsqueak keeping up with Aries and growing abnormally large(I plan to model his adult form after a Charger) and we have Snotlings and Eating Squigs popping up and testing Greenskin's mettle as a Runtherd. Some listen, one doesn't. And now he's trying to learn how to do the Stare...that's going to come in handy later.
And yes, the Element of Laughter has chosen a Death Jester. I initially meant for it to be Tallik the Solitaire, but the thought of pairing Pinkie Pie with a complete Sadist who finds death funny was too good to pass up.
And finally, SSSSSIIIIIIIINNDRIIIIIII!!!!!! The best villain of any Dawn of War game. If you don't know who he is or what's going on, it'll be explained in the next chapter. Speaking of which: yes, this is going to take our main characters into the mirror and oh, Aries is gonna lose his mind...for a number of reasons(the main one you won't see coming)
However I will say that chapters are going to have more space between them as I try to write my Fantasy Novel beside the third Volume, so please be patient. If GW does C&D fanfics, I'll leave a summary of everything I planned to happen in the Warhammer 40k group.
That's all I got, fuck Games Workshop and I'll see you all next time.
The Grimdark 6 Vol Three: Dark Humor
"Thank you very much for your aid. I promise you, we will repay you." Twilight vowed to Equestria's latest ally.
Rain Shine, leader of the Kirin, smiled and waved off the promise of payment. "If this threat is as horrid as you say it is, then it is we who should repay you for warning us of these horrors."
The Kirin gathered around cried out various forms of agreement, with most, especially Autumn Blaze, being on the verge of becoming Niriks after hearing Twilight describe the last two encounters with the horrors beyond the stars. "That anycreature could be so cruel...rrrr...it makes me furious! "
The blue and red flames emitting from Applejack's Kirin friend didn't warrant nearly the concern creatures usually felt when a Kirin was about to go Nirik...mostly because she was one amongst dozens feeling the same way...and one amongst one hundred that would soon join the PDF.
"With your help, we can make sure it never happens aga-" Twilight was cut off when her Cutie Mark began to glow and flash.
The Kirin were taken aback by this, but Twilight was almost ecstatic. "...It's been so long...Uh, I'm afraid I have to go now. I have an urgent problem to take care of. Thank you somuchforallyourhelpIpromiseI'llfindawaytorepayyoulaterTHANKYOOOOUU!!!!" And with that, she was over the horizon.
Rainbow Dash dodged a stream of lightning as she sparred with Yellow Jacket. The vengeful veteran of the PDF had become one of Equestria's most ruthless warriors, and few sparred with her willingly.
Rainbow Dash was one of those few. After flying around behind the Unicorn, the daredevil Pegasus landed with authority onto her back.
Yellow Jacket electrocuted herself with her own attack in order to shock Rainbow Dash. Most opponents would be so shocked by the unexpected attack that they'd let go, but Rainbow Dash had seen this technique before and was ready. She simply gritted her teeth and bared it while wrapping her front legs around the Unicorn's neck.
Rainbow Dash then rolled over with Yellow Jacket in her death grip and wrapped her lower legs around the mare's stomach while squeezing as hard as she could. It appeared as though her victory was near...when her Cutie Mark began to glow.
Rainbow Dash threw Yellow Jacket off her and sprang up, throwing her hooves up in surrender. "WOAH WOAH WOAH!! TIME OUT! TIME OUT!!...looks like I'm needed elsewhere."
Yellow Jacket looked to the glowing Cutie Mark and nodded. "Alright, but we're having a rematch as soon as you get back."
"You got it Jack, let me just tell Aries that I gotta- oh..." Rainbow Dash was stunned silent to see Aries walking up to her with a familiar glow emanating from the emblem of the War Hounds.
"Alright, that should do it" A Unicorn by the name of Magnum Opas stated. This Unicorn was one of the most renowned artists in Equestria. So when Greenskin decided he wanted a tattoo on his shoulder in the likeness of the reshaped Element of Kindness, he had enlisted the Pony's services.
He had gone to Rarity first, who was absolutely horrified by the idea of tattoos, but she did what she could to repay the Ork for his part in fighting the Dark Eldar and used her connections to the Canterlot Elite to introduce the art of tattoos to anypony who wanted to take up the challenge.
Two years later, Greenskin had his tattoo...and it started glowing.
"Hmm? Wut dat meen? I didn't want no fancy glowin' tattoo. 'Ow do I make it stop?" Greenskin asked the equally bewildered Artist.
Magnum stuttered for a moment before Fluttershy came into his Art Studio. "Greenskin, I have to do something very important to- oh."
"Ay, yer Mark is glowin' too. Wut's dat about." Greenskin asked.
"Um, well, it means that the Spirit of Harmony needs us to solve a Friendship problem." Fluttershy said, very worried over what sort of problem they would need Greenskin to solve.
"All I need ta know." The Ork stated as he walked over to a coat rack and grabbed his sleeveless jacket with Tirek's horn attached to one of the shoulders. He then reached beside the coat rack and grabbed his Big Choppa: a long handled two bladed battle ax made from the ruins of Dark Eldar flying machines with a variety of totems attached to it...including the Element of Kindness and the skull of the Haemonculus that Fluttershy had killed. He had tried to give Fluttershy the skull, and she was relieved when he finally stopped.
Greenskin turned back to Fluttershy with a grin on his face. "Time ta get stuck in Boss."
Pinkie Pie watched her friends make their way to Twilight's castle. Rarity and Applejack got there first due to proximity, followed by Rainbow Dash and Twilight for their speed, and Aries met up with Fluttershy and Greenskin to bring up the rear. All that was left was her...and one other.
The Party Pony looked up at the glowing mask of Krae'Nakh. "Well, let's get this heartbreak over with."
Everypony stood in shock at where their marks directed them. "...The mirror..." Twilight breathed.
"So...Armony wantz us ta smash a mirrah? Okay." Spoke the Ork amongst them, but Aries doubted it was that easy.
"What is this mirror?" The War Hound asked the shocked Alicorn...who only seemed to grow more concerned.
"U-um...well, y-you know how...I would find some things out about your world that would help us, and you would assume that I was reading your mind or something?" Twilight spoke nervously.
"...so this mirror is the source of your information on my world? Does it show you the wider galaxy?" Aries asked.
"N-no, it's...a doorway to another world where duplicates of me and my friends live...as humans." Twilight stated with a wince in her face as she anticipated a negative reaction.
Aries processed the information before coming up with his first question. "Are they part of the Imperium?"
"N-no, but...it seems as though echoes of what goes on in both of our worlds make it into theirs. But they have no idea that these echoes are from actual worlds and just assume they imagined it...which leads to things like this." Twilight materialized a book in front of the War Hound, a book labeled 'Warhammer 40,000 Ork Codex: 8th Edition'.
Aries took the book and quickly skimmed through it. Now , he understood Twilight's reaction. "...Had I discovered this madness two years earlier, I don't know what I would've done. For now, I only wish to know what we are meant to do in this world?"
"That's a good question. Another one would be 'Who the heck is this supposed to be'?" Rainbow Dash stated while pointing to a symbol in the same group as theirs that appeared to be a humanoid skull.
"...I can answer both of those." Pinkie Pie's voice alerted the ponies and nonponies gathered around the map that the last of Twilight's friends had arrived...and she wasn't alone.
Aries and Greenskin beared their weapons at the sight of the Eldar and the ponies showed looks of concern, but Pinkie Pie put a hoof up between them. "It's alright, he's with us. Everypony, this is Krae'Nakh. He's the new Element of Laughter."
Krae'Nakh reinforced the party pony's claim by presenting the Element, now in the shape of his his skull-shaped mask. Greenskin lowered his Big Choppa, but Aries did not lower Defiance, his Equestrian Defender.
"You do not need to trust me Astartes, but you should trust her ." Krae'Nakh gestured towards Pinkie Pie who walked forward.
"I'm sure you all know that we wouldn't all be needed if this was something simple, but it's more than that...Chaos is back. And this time, they mean business. I don't know exactly what they're planning, and trying to beat the answer out of Krae'Nakh will take too long, so all we can do is go through the mirror and figure out what's going on." Pinkie Pie stated in a serious tone.
Even Aries knew that this was highly abnormal for her, and lowered Defiance. "The moment I believe that our interests no longer align, I'll feed what's left of you to the Ork."
"An' I'll feed wut I don't eet ta me Snotz!" Greenskin shouted, the Death Jester reminding him just a little too much of the Dark Eldar.
Now standing before the Mirror, the group made their farewells. Twilight lent a magic journal to Starlight, saying that any words written within appeared in a twin on the other side. Greenskin and Fluttershy were informing Dr. Fauna on how to care for Cozy Glow and the Snotlings, two of them, Hooknose had been deemed too dangerous to leave unattended, and was thus tied and gagged onto Greenskin's Big Choppa.
The Snot decided to make it's presence known by squirming, resulting in Greenskin jostling him a bit. "Oy! You see dat War 'Ound standin' roight dere. You get loose while he's 'round an' I won't be fast enough ta save ya."
Aries heard the Ork's threat but didn't bother to acknowledge it, he had his own preparations to make. "Pharynx is to handle the new recruits from the Kirin, Yellow Jacket will handle the tests of Dazzling Light's latest invention, and Freedom Fighter will start drilling the PDF extensively on combat formations...in the event we are incapable of containing this new threat."
A trio of 'yes sir' rang out from the champions of Equestria's army. And then...it was time.
"What awaits us on the other side?" Aries asked.
Twilight activated the portal before answering. "Well, the human civilization is only in the 2,000s, or the early 3rd Millennium as you would put it. Oh, and when me, Starlight, and a Pony named Sunset Shimmer passed through the portal...we turned into humans until we came back."
Aries started at that, the thought of Aliens masquerading as humans bringing back old paranoia, but nonetheless, he pressed on.
The group went through the portal. Opposed to a Unicorn's teleportation, this felt very similar to Warp Travel. Lasting only a single second, but a second that stretched beyond eternity.
When Aries appeared on the other side, he was disoriented, more so than he felt he should've been. The vertigo drove him to his knees and then to his hands.
"...es...Aries?" A lavender hand cupped his face and brought face to face with an adolescent girl that he recognized as Twilight. "It looks like the portal effected you too...you may want to sit down."
"Wuh-what do you-" Aries cupped his mouth. Where was his helmet? Where was his gauntlet? He then looked down upon himself and realized that he was no longer Astartes...he was mortal.
He wore cobalt sneakers that blended in with his blue jeans and cobalt colored hoodie with white shoulder pads, one of which bore the emblem of the War Hounds. He had a student's bookbag strapped to his back and his weapons were nowhere to be found.
"...I...I'm..." Aries was just coming to terms with what he was seeing when- "WHAT DA GORK!?"
Turning to the high pitched voice, he saw that Greenskin had also become a human...a female human dressed like an underhiver with studded leather boots, pants of a similar nature, and an open vest over a tank top, all of which was black. She also had grown bright orange hair that was worn in a ponytail.
Aries, for the first time in his life, passed out.
Author's Note
I had meant to make this longer, but I let the day drag out and I go back to work tomorrow. I'm also putting this story and my original novel on a tiiiny hiatus to participate in a certain competition.
Earlier this week AuroraDawn, author of the infamous Rainbow Factory fanfic, celebrated her masterpiece's tenth anniversary by opening a challenge for the best fic featuring the Rainbow Factory universe. Cash prizes await the best, 2nd best, and 3rd best. We have until September 30th, and I do have any for an small one or two chapter Epilogue to her third installment of the Rainbow Factory: Reckoning that I'd like to throw in the ring.
So, I'm gonna writing that for the forseeable future, until at most September 30th, but for now, let's discuss this chapter.
Now, there isn't really much to discuss, it was mostly just me getting the characters through the mirror, and a prologue of the hilarity to ensure because yes! Aries and Greenskin are human now, and Greenskin's a girl.
Orks are genderless with masculine and I am WAAAY too big a fan of Stringstorm's Ork Idol not to do this. But I did provide some originality with the hair, which is colored the same as the Orks on Dawn of War.
As for what else happens with Krae'Nakh and Hooknose, you'll just have to wait for Aries to wake up. See you then.
The Grimdark 6 Vol Three: Dark Humor
Chapter 2: Lost Innocence Returned
The pounding of his heart eclipsed the impact of his opponents fist smashing into the side of his face. He grabbed the offending fist and pulled his foe into a couterstrike in his teeth.
The other boy hit the ground clutching his bleeding mouth."Finish him!" Shouted their instructor, and he complied.
Climbing atop his opponent, he savagely beat the other boy in his face and body. Wings of blood had unfurled beside his head by the time he stopped.
The instructor came over and inspected the beaten boy. "...Dead. Pathetic."
The instructor turned his attention to the victor. "There were at least ten points where you could've ended this battle sooner, and far more where this fool could've defeated you. Take no pride in this victory, it is not worth remembering."
The aspirant nodded, and the instructor shooed him away like a stray dog. "Rest up and be ready for tomorrow. You will either die, or become an Eater of Worlds."
Aries' head pounded as he awoke. He brought up an arm to clutch his skull, only to be shocked at how small it was...before recalling the day's events.
The War Hound made mortal chuckled to himself. Now that the memory was fresh in his mind, he realized that he had become the exact same age as he was during the trial he had dreamed about. "It appears I remembered it after all."
"Funny how that works, isn't it." Aries started when he realized he wasn't alone. The other mortal boy was clad in pitch black bejeweled attire and his face was as pale as a Night Lord. Aries recognized him as Krae'Nakh.
"...How long?" Aries asked. "Since you passed out? Three hours. Twilight brought us to the home of her human counterpart. She is currently visiting the one called Sunset Shimmer while the others are being given tours of this world by their counterparts, the Ork travels with Fluttershy and his Snotling."
Aries looked around the room, it definitely felt like a younger version of Twilight lived here. Science literature adorned the bookcases, of which there were many. In fact, the only walls that weren't lined with books were those occupied by the girl's bed and a 3rd Millennium computer.
"Have we found any information regarding our task?" Aries asked. "Twilight will answer that when she returns."
Aries wanted to say more, but faint footsteps interrupted him. The door to the room opened, revealing a young girl that looked exactly like Twilight's human form, except that her hair was bound in a ponytail.
As soon as Aries saw her, he was dumbstruck. He couldn't stop staring at the teenager standing before him, she was just so...so...
"...uh are you alright?" The human Twilight asked him. Aries didn't answer...which brought a chuckle out of Krae'Nakh. "Hehehe, he never saw a woman until he became an Astartes. Part of the process includes removing his sex drive, so this is his first time noticing a young girl's beauty."
Twilight and Aries turned as red as a Blood Angel and turned away from each other. Aries, who was still laying in Twilight's bed, fell onto the floor in a tangle of blankets.
Krae'Nakh guffawed at the foolishness. "BE SILENT SCUM!!" Aries shouted.
"Hehehohohehe, very well. In the name of our continued cooperation, I'll attempt to refrain from acknowledging how humorous this is." The Eldar stated.
Aries snarled in embarrassed rage before turning his attention back to the other Twilight in an attempt to return to the task at hand.
...By the throne, she's cute when she's flustered... Aries shook his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts before concluding that he would have to keep his eyes on the girl's feet in order to address her. "Where may I find the Equestrian Twilight?"
"U-um, she's at the hospital. Visiting Sunset Shimmer." Twilight replied, fidgeting as she spoke. Her knees bending this way and that and drawing Aries' eyes up to her fluttering skirt before he suddenly found the ceiling very interesting.
"Where will I find this hospital?" Aries asked in as straight a voice as he could manage.
"I'll drive you there...just let me find something to put in the front seat."
"ZOGG IT ALL OOKNOSE! WHEN I KATCH YA, I'M GONNA POUND YA INTA SQUIGMEAT!!!" Greenskin shouted after the runaway Snot. Unlike the others who passed through the portal, Hooknose had not been transformed into a human, but rather a very hideous dog with snot colored fur, floppy ears, and an upper jaw that would've been longer than his lower jaw but for it sharing his nose's signature bend.
The Ork Gal had been walking the Snot Hound with the other Twilight's version of Spike and the two Fluttershys, who were now running behind Greenskin in a futile effort to keep up, when the beast suddenly bit into his leash and sliced it off.
The Snotling hadn't become any bigger, but his needle sharp teeth and frantic desire to bite everything ment it was only a matter of time before he hurt someone. Greenskin knew this, and was desperate to tie the chewed up leash back around the Shot's neck...and never walk him again.
"FLUDDASHOY!! I'M STARTIN' TA FINK DAT NOT KRUMPIN' DIS GIT IS MOR TROUBLE DAN IT'Z WERF!!! E JUS' WON' LISTEN!!!" The Ork Gal shouted over her shoulder as she ran.
Greenskin realized, with no small amount of concern, that Hooknose had turned just the tiniest bit to the right...where a group of friends was sitting on a bench eating something. "Oh no...oh no no no no. "COVAH UP YER FOOOOD!!!" The Ork Gal shouted.
The three girls turned to the ruckus with expressions of confused curiosity, which quickly turned to concern when the hideous Snot Dog lunged at the nearest one's hands.
"KYAAA! MY TACO!!" The girl shouted as she was robbed of her meal. Hooknose landed on the middle one's lap and bounded onto the third one who quickly shoved the vile beast off of her.
Hooknose had eaten roughly a third of his prize, the rest laid in pieces on the laps of the two girls he had jumped on...hence why he was turning around to attack them again.
"GOTCHA!!" Greenskin shouted in triumph as she pounced on the Snot Dog. Rolling a few times before landing and tying the leash around Hooknose's neck tight enough to make him go bug eyed. She then dragged the troublesome beast up to her face and scowled at him. "...I don' want ya ta do dis."
It seemed like Greenskin's attempt at the Stare had worked...until Hooknose bit the Ork Gal's protruding nose.
"YYYOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!" Greenskin shrieked in pain and shock. Her humie body was a mite more sensitive than she was used to.
The Ork Gal had dropped the Snot Dog to soothe her throbbing nose. But fortunately, the others had caught up and Fluttershy was able to subdue the beast with her Stare.
"Oh no, is everycreature alright?" Fluttershy asked as she took in the scene...but Spike and the other Fluttershy were concerned for very different reasons.
The three girls that had been attacked by Hooknose stared at the latecomers with shocked familiarity that swiftly turned to hatred. "Was that mutt yours? " Asked the one with bright orange curly hair reaching down to her waist.
"He stole my taco!" Pouted another with blue on blue hair tied in a ponytail.
"And slung it all over us!" Added the third who had purple and cyan hair similar to Starlight's tied in pigtails.
"I am very sorry about this. We can pay for your food, righ-" It's at this point that Fluttershy noticed that her other self and Spike were both backing away fearfully. "Do...do you know them?"
"Hmph, so you're the one from Equestria, are you? I guess the Princess forgot to mention us. We're the Dazzlings ." Said the leader of the trio.
Fluttershy shared her counterpart's expression now. Twilight had indeed told her and the others about the three sirens that had been banished to this world by Starswirl The Bearded a thousand years ago. Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze, and Sonata Dusk.
"Dazzlinz? Wut dat?" Greenskin asked as she finished having a fit over her nose, which was bleeding from five small wounds.
Fluttershy looked at Greenskin with concern, if she said the wrong thing, Greenskin was definitely gonna start a fight. Unfortunately, her other self didn't know that.
"They're evil sirens from Equestria tha-" "NOOO!!" Fluttershy warned her human self too late. Greenskin heard all she thought was important and punched Adagio in the face.
The other two sirens gaped in shock, allowing Greenskin an opening to grab Sonata and throw her onto Aria...or so she thought.
The Ork Gal lacked the monstrous strength of his true form. And while Sonata was the lightest of the Dazzlings, she was still too heavy for Greenskin to throw like a ragdoll. Instead, she pulled the smaller girl, and herself, off balance.
Aria capitalized immediately and caught the Ork Gal with a haymaker. Greenskin tumbled to the ground, once again caught off guard by his newfound sensitivity. Luckily, a lifetime in the Dark City meant that while he wasn't accustomed to this sort of pain, she had learned to adjust to new forms of pain very quickly.
Greenskin was back on her feet in time to grapple with Aria. The siren then introduced the Ork Gal to yet another new form of pain: hairpulling.
Luckily, Greenskin was more accustomed to sustained pains than sudden shocks of pain. And he was kunnin enough to realize that Aria had more hair than she did.
Greenskin grabbed one of the other girl's pigtails and pulled. Aria was not as accustomed to pain as Greenskin, and while the Ork Gal wasn't as strong as an Ork Boy, she was still stronger than the siren and could pull a lot harder.
Aria reeled back in an instinctive attempt to ease the pulling pressure on her scalp, allowing Greenskin enough room to throw a Toof Tayka.
True to its name, the savage punch to the jaw sent two or three of Aria's teeth flying as the Dazzling fell to the ground like a falling tree.
Greenskin surveyed the area. Adagio was still out after Greenskin's sucker punch, and Sonata was staring at the Ork Gal like a grot staring at a large hungry Squig.
Greenskin charged at her last opponent. "WAAA-" "STOP!!!" The Ork Gal skidded to a halt as Fluttershy jumped between her and Sonata, who had fallen to the ground in the fetal position. "Oy! What gives? Deze gitz!"
"They were gits. The other me didn't know enough about you to start with that." Fluttershy corrected.
"Oooohhhh...oops."
Twilight stood beside Sunset Shimmer. The former student of Celestia had to be sedated and strapped to her bed for own safety. The scabs on her eyelids cracked and bled anew as the young girl's eyes darted this way and that, ensuring that her self inflicted injuries would remain as permanent scars. "...sss..rrii...e's...eal...ssinnn...driii..."
Twilight had spent hours trying to figure out what her friend was saying to herself, what she had pieced together was "he's real...Sendrey."
Taking a smartphone that she had burrowed from this world's Rarity(who seemed to have several) Twilight opened the Google tab and searched the word 'Sendrey'.
Apparently, it was the name of an American Composer that had died in 2003...she didn't see the relevance.
Next, she tried 'Sendrey Warhammer 40k'. The two most relevant tabs were the Tarantula Sentry Gun and Vaul: the Aeldari God of Smithing. Vaul had been devoured by Slaanesh, but if Sunset had seen that Twilight was certain she would've said something closer. Then again, how does Vaul come up when I search for Sendrey?
Twilight was puzzling over what to try next when Sunset grabbed her arm and squeezed.
Twilight almost jumped out of her skin at the sudden contact and stared wide eyed at her traumatized friend's shocked expression. "...All power demands sacrifice..."
Twilight stared at her for a moment before bringing a loving hand to her friend's cheek. "We're going to help you, and we're going to stop whatever did this to you."
Sunset didn't respond for a moment, then she released Twilight and her eyes went back to darting to and fro.
Twilight watched the horrible sight with pity for a moment before googling the word 'All power demands sacrifice'.
The results were immediate, images of the star of Chaos, a Let's Play video for something called Dawn of War, and then...the first Wiki link: Sindri Myr .
Author's Note
And another done, I know a lot probably aren't going to fond of Aries suddenly having hormones, but the thought was just too funny.
I refer to Twilight's computer being from the 3rd Millennium because I think that would follow the same rules as the 21st Century.
And my fellow Dazzling fans need not worry, this isn't a one-off encounter.
Coming up next, the gang learns what they're up against, and get a clue on their enemy's intent.
That's all I got for this one, see you all next time.
The Grimdark 6 Vol Three: Dark Humor
Chapter 3: Know Thy Enemy
"Uuuh..." Adagio groaned as she came to. "...Wuh...what happened...hrk!"
"YOU'RE OKAY!!" Sonata shouted as she hugged her sister.
"Wuh-AH! GET OFF!!" The leader of the Dazzlings shouted as she pushed their ditziest member off of her...and realized that she wasn't alone...and that she had an icepack on her face.
Adagio's confusion turned to anger as she glared at the green skinned girl between the two Fluttershys. "You! Just who the heck do you think you are!?"
One of the Fluttershys nudged the girl who groaned in discomfort. "Gah, I'm sorry I zogged ya." She said unconvincingly.
The Fluttershy who nudged her rolled her eyes. "Greenskin didn't know that you weren't villains anymore and thought he was fighting bad guys."
"Yeah wel- wait...he? " Adagio inquired, but the conversation was cut short by another waking groan.
"Urn, huh? YOU!! " Aria shouted as she glared at the green girl.
"I'm so-gak!" Aria tackled the other girl to the ground and tried to pound the daylights out of her, but Greenskin had managed to get her hands up first.
"Gah, piss off humie! Fluddashoy said I wasn't allowed to foight ya no more an' I had ta apologize! So get offa me so I can apologize!!" The girl shouted through the ineffective beating.
The two Fluttershys tried to pull the siren off their friend, but Aria pushed one of them off her and pulled the other one's hair. She was about to deck the second one when a green hand shot up and grabbed her lower jaw, two fingers pressing into the gap where her lost teeth used to be, and pulled her down to the other girl's face. "Don'. Touch. Da Boss."
At last, Aria began to consider that angrily attacking the girl that knocked her out with one punch may not have been the best idea. Luckily for her, the tension was melted by the sound of crunching taco shells and a shrill scream of horror.
"NOOOO!!!" Sonata screamed as Hooknose, who had slipped away unnoticed by the Fluttershys during the fight, devoured what was left of the Dazzlings' lunch.
"OOKNOSE!!" Greenskin shouted before throwing Aria off her and running after the Snot Dog, who was too concerned with his meal to notice until Greenskin grabbed him by the scruff "I! Have! HAD IT!!" Greenskin shouted as he brought Hooknose over his head and slammed him into the bench the Dazzlings had been sitting on.
The Dazzlings were absolutely stunned by the display of brutality. And one of the Fluttershys was a bit more than stunned. "HOW DARE YOU!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? THAT CREATURE IS YOUR PET! HOW DARE YOU TREAT HIM LIKE THIS!?"
"Wut? It'z Ooknose! You know wut kinda trouble he causes, an' maybe dis'll be da fing dat foinally makes'im stop fer a min-" "I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT!! YOU ARE GOING TO APOLOGIZE TO THAT CREATURE RIGHT! NO- "STOP!!" Greenskin and the outraged Fluttershy and the dumbstruck Dazzlings turned to the other Fluttershy who had just spoken up.
"I know that was hard to watch, and I know that it's hard to understand, but Hooknose deserved that, and maybe he'll finally listen for the briefest moment." The two Fluttershys stared at each other, one in dumbstruck confusion, the other in understanding sympathy.
"...Fanks Fluddashoy...fer a moment, I fought dat waz you yellin at me." Greenskin said, her eyes moist with hurt tears at the thought that the one who brought him back to an acceptable level of Orkyness cursed him for it.
"Uh...what just happened?" Adagio asked.
The Equestrian Fluttershy breathed out through her nose before addressing the Dazzlings. "Greenskin isn't a Pony or a human or any other creature native to this world or Equestria, he's an Ork. Normally, Orks are violent monsters that worship war. But Greenskin was captured by an even worse monster, and tortured until he just wanted to die. I found him and nursed him back to health. He's...sort of normal again, but he appreciates Friendship just as much as violence...and he probably thinks Aria is the friendliest of the three of you." Fluttershy explained.
"As long as she keeps it tween us. 'Ands off da Boss." Greenskin stated.
"Uh...that...explains why she, or he, attacked us. But there is still too much going on here an-" Adagio was interrupted by a sudden series of noises coming from her pocket.
She pulled out a phone and her eyes shrank to pinpricks. "Oh crap, we're late! We need to get to Capper's now! " And with that, the Dazzlings lost interest in the bizarre chain of events and ran.
"Oi, where deyze goin?" Greenskin asked. Still holding the dazed Snot Dog in her hand by one leg.
"I guess they're late for something? Maybe th-" Fluttershy was interrupted by a noise from her own phone. She took it out and had a similar reaction to Adagio when she read the message. 'Ive found what happened to Sunseg'
"Okay, the hospital should be ri-" Twilight stopped when, just as she about to park her vehicle, she saw her other self jumping into a taxi.
"You all saw that too right?" She asked. "Indeed, it appears this trip was meaningless." Aries stated. "Well, I wouldn't say meaningless. You're not thinking about your hormones anymore." Krae'Nakh chuckled.
"The moment you lose value to the Imperium, I am going to kill you." Aries declared.
"Maybe...maybe." Krae'Nakh hummed to himself.
"Uh, okay so...back home?" Twilight asked nervously.
The other girls had all made it back with the sole exception of the two Pinkies. Twilight explained that she needed everyone present before she could address the primary issue, which gave the others time to talk.
The two Raritys got along famously, the Equestrian Rarity had never seen a mall before, and was just as determined to open one in Equestria as she was to introduce her counterpart to the Equestrian bazaar.
The two Rainbow Dashes were disappointed. The Equestrian Rainbow Dash couldn't use her counterpart's geode, nor was she experienced enough on two legs to race effectively or play soccer...but she was confident that she could learn in no time.
The Applejacks had a good time on the farm. The Equestrian Applejack was amazed at how much longer the harvest takes when you have to pick the apples one by one...she also had to explain to Granny Smith that she bucked the trees, opposed to something else.
There was a fair bit of concern when the Fluttershys explained their run in with the Dazzlings, but the Equestrians were content to celebrate the fact that since his beating, Hooknose had stayed on his best behavior.
It was concerning for most, but as Applejack had been forced to run the Snotling out of her orchard more than once, she was the most vocally delighted.
Finally, the door opened to reveal both Pinkie Pies...dressed in Russian winter clothes for some reason. "Sorry we're late everyone. We were snowboarding in Russia when we got Twilight's text." One of them said.
"And on the way, we had to help an aspiring author find time in the main plot to explain what the supporting characters were up to." The other added.
"We have no interest in your shenanigans. Let us proceed with our objective." Aries demanded.
The two Pinkies sat down and all eyes went to Princess Twilight. She had been incredibly nervous this whole time and could be heard talking to herself until the Pinkies arrived. Now, she was as quiet as death. "...Do you remember how I told you all that Sunset and some other denizens of this world are aware of Aries' world without realizing it?"
"You're talking about Warhammer 40k right? What about it?" The human Rainbow Dash asked.
"Well, Sunset said something to me, a quote, and when I looked it up on the internet, it was the quote from a villain in a Warhammer 40k video game called Dawn of War...I think that villain is who attacked her...if he attacked her." Twilight explained.
"What is that supposed to mean?" The human Applejack asked.
"Are you suggesting that Sunset just had a panic attack and did that to herself!?" The human Rarity inquired.
"Sunset Shimmer is an empath. She can read minds and feel emotions, and this villain...is a Daemon Prince." Twilight stated.
Aries was on his feet in an instant. "We have to kill her." Shouts of protest followed the statement. A cacophony of noise thundered through the livingroom until the arguing teens were engulfed in lavender light and levitated into the air.
The human Twilight took a breath and turned to the Princess while retaining her hold on the group. "If this Daemon Prince knew about Sunset's powers, I would qualify that as an attack...and so would you."
Princess Twilight nodded and her human self released the others and adjusted herself to sit between Aries and the door. "The other me is right. I don't think Sindri meant to expose himself. If he did, he probably would've possessed Sunset...but I don't think he can. At least, not without help."
The human Rainbow Dash snarled. "Sindri. I beat that jerk a dozen times in Dawn of War, but players take on the role of Space Marines who had to join forces with Eldar to pull it off. He's an Alpha Legion Sorcerer. A real mustache twirler. He's planning something, and if I were him, my first step would be getting some goons."
"...Or some gitz! Didn't dem Dazzlinz 'ave somewhere ta be? Could dey be werkin wiff dis spiky git?" Greenskin interjected.
"That's...actually a good possibility. They gave up because we took their magic away, but...a Daemon could definitely give it back...or say they will." Princess Twilight stated.
"Then we should find them and destroy them." Aries stated.
"We don't even know if they're guilty yet." The human Rarity stated.
"If they would take the first offer of power given to them, then they are a liability. Just purge them and be done with it." Aries said.
"Does it always have to be violence with you!?" She retorted.
"Uh, you do know he's a World Eater right?" The human Rainbow Dash asked.
"Enough!" Shouted Princess Twilight. "Fluttershy, both of you, take Greenskin with you and find the Dazzlings. Try to figure out if they have any connection to Sindri. The rest of us are going to look into other people that could possibly be swayed. Aries, I understand. After what happened when three Chaos Space Marines got into Equestria, and the Dark Eldar two years ago, the last thing I want is to let them strike again. But for now, just wait for something more solid than 'they might be bad guys' okay?"
"...Very well. Is there anything else?" Aries asked, knowing there was further point in arguing.
"Yes...there may be another reason we're here." Twilight took a breath as everyone's attention once more focused on her. "Sindri Myr became a Daemon Prince through the blood and souls of an entire world...this may or may not make him just as powerful as the Spirit of Harmony...in it's current state."
Aries stood and paced in a small circle, unable to control himself as he once would've as Twilight's implication set in. "You want...to spread faith in Harmony to this world."
"Well...yeah." The Princess replied. "Is that not what would be necessary for its power to function as you wish?" Added Krae'Nakh.
"...yes...I suppose it would...Emperor preserve me." Aries pleaded.
"The Emperor of Mankind demanded the destruction of religion because it was used to control the subservient, the Spirit of Harmony does no such thing...less so than your Emperor." The Death Jester stated.
"...Very well...but I am not preaching." Aries stated.
"Pretty sure that's my job. For now, just keep an eye out for other potential risks. Okay, I think that's everything." The Princess concluded.
The group dispersed, many of them lingered to say goodbye and wish their friends good luck, but Aries was not one of them. He knew of another potential risk far more likely to be corrupted than the Dazzlings...and he remembered the way to the local Hospital.
There was no point in arguing, but the Equestrians were unhealthily forgiving.
Aries had hailed a local transportation system called a Taxi cab and returned to the hospital. He froze up when he realized he hadn't considered payment, but was relieved to find a wallet with sufficient funds in his jeans...odd, but convenient.
He had to be quick, he knew Twilight and her friends would try to stop him when they figured out where he had gone. Luckily, visiting hours were still open, and the receptionist never considered that Aries was anything more than another concerned friend...she even blessed the girl's fortune for having so many.
Aries made sure to bring the school bag that his power pack had transformed into, as it held his weapons within. Making it much easier to carry armaments among civilians whilst being one himself.
Aries came into the girl's room. Sunset slept anyway but peacefully, flinching and jerking this way and that as the horrors of the Warp tore at her mind.
Aries had to be quick, he went to the other side of the room and opened the window. They were only on the second floor, and there a small garden of flowers beneath them, a perfect getaway.
It was time, Aries removed his school bag from his shoulders and opened it. Defiance had become a large pistol chambered in 50 caliber bullets. Aries ignored the pistol for now and drew Warp Eater, the massive sword having been reduced to a double edged blade that measured two feet from tip to pommel. It would suffice for the task at hand.
Aries came to Sunset's side. In one fluid motion, he placed his free hand over her mouth and raised his blade. It would've fallen into her chest just as swiftly...but something unexpected occurred.
Fear. Suffering. Despair. Aries knew these emotions from Istvaan III, but had never felt them as he did now. The sensation was overwhelming. He opened his mouth to scream, but no sound came forth.
The bland colors of the hospital room gave way to the vibrant and maddening colors of the Warp and Aries fell to his knees with a great thud.
The first thing he saw was an armored gauntlet digging its fingers into the tainted earth. It was his own hand, he was transhuman once more...but still felt a mortal's fear.
He rose from the ground, Warp Eater still in his hand, and surveyed his surroundings. He was once more in the bowels of the Immaterium, but he wasn't alone.
Not far from where he stood, an Equestrian Unicorn with a bright orange coat, a red and orange mane, and bright blue eyes was staring into the void.
The void stared back. Streaks of lightning revealed countless eyes as thunderclaps drowned out a thousand secrets whispered into the mare's ears.
That was it. Not a single Daemon moved to end the mare's life and devour her soul...why?
Aries knew there was only one way to find out. "Sunset Shimmer!"
Thunder roared once more. A slight twitch of her ear was the only sign the mare had heard his voice among the others.
Aries moved towards her, and the Daemons lunged at him.
A frightened scream erupted from the flame colored Pony and she projected a crimson shield on instinct. A single Daemon collided with it as it moved to attack Aries...disintegrating with an agonized shriek.
Aries' Astartes mind gathered all of this...even while the mortal fear spiked and drove him into a panic.
For the first time in his life, Aries instinctively fled from combat. Leaping backwards in a panicked flight that saw him tumble to the ground...back in the hospital.
Author's Note
Well well well, what have we here? There is a logical explanation for what just happened, but I'm not spoiling anything.
As I'm sure you've all guessed by now, the Dazzlings are Red Herrings. But they do serve a greater purpose than that...as do the Pinkies, beyond giving me windows to explain what the other characters have been up to.
Aries' weapons have turned into a Dessert Eagle and a Spartan Xiphos, in case my description wasn't clear enough.
And of course, the big bomb. What just happened? There are two possibilities, one will be used as a Red Herring, the other...you will have to figure out.
That's all I got for now, see you all next time.
The Grimdark 6 Vol Three: Dark Humor
Aries shakingly rose to his feet, staring at Sunset Shimmer's still form. She had grown calmer, but was still very much afraid...Aries understood that much.
What he didn't understand is why he was able to feel her fear as his own. Even as a mortal, he refused to believe that he would ever run away from a fight, least of all panic. And his fear had spiked not when the Daemons attacked him, but when Sunset Shimmer believed that they were attacking her.
And her shield, it had destroyed a Daemon outright. It made sense when Aries remembered that the Ponies were Daemons themselves, manifestations of the Spirit of Harmony: Chaosbane.
Perhaps Sunset Shimmer had grown calmer because she realized that attacking her meant death to the Neverborn. In which case, he could possibly reach her...he could save her.
Aries reached for the girl again, the stunted Warp Eater ready for combat, when he was suddenly bombarded by an entirely different set of emotions.
Fear. Anger. Betrayal. And an overabundance of duty and devotion. Aries felt as if he were back on Istvaan III fighting his treacherous brothers once more. At least, he felt such mentally. Physically, he felt as if something had just grabbed him and dragged him out the open window in Sunset's room before dropping him not in the garden below but the pavement beside it.
Aries landed on his shoulder. It didn't break, but it definitely hurt. He rolled over and stood, a whooshing sound drawing his eyes to face his attacker: the human Rainbow Dash.
The young girl's magenta eyes burned with rage, and Aries realized that she had taken Warp Eater from him and held it in a trembling hand. "I don't care if Sindri is possessing her. Anyone tries to hurt my friends...I'll pound them into the dirt."
"I-" Aries wasn't given the chance to speak. The next thing he knew, he was on his back with Rainbow Dash on top of him pressing Warp Eater into his neck. "Give me one reason. Just one why letting you go is a good idea. Tell me you won't try again! Tell me that if I let you up, you won't make a beeline to Sunset's room and finish her off! TELL ME!!!"
Aries stared into her eyes. Once more, he felt her emotions as his own. The fear of losing someone precious to her. The determination to protect them at all cost. The anger that someone she considered a friend would try to take her loved one away.
Despite himself, Aries chuckled at the last one. "You've known I existed for less than a day, we've never interacted personally, and still you think of me as a friend?"
Rainbow Dash blinked. "What!?"
"When I tried to end Sunset Shimmer's life, something occurred. I could feel her emotions as if they were my own, just as I feel yours now, and I could see her soul in the Warp. The Daemons dare not touch her, her magic is anathema to them." Aries explained.
The fear and hate in Rainbow Dash's eyes faded and she stopped applying pressure to the blade on the War Hound's neck. "...She...she's okay...b-but how could you use her geode? I tried to let Pony me use mine and it did zilch."
"I do not know what this 'geode' is, but as long as I can use it's power to save Sunset Shimmer's soul from the Neverborn, then I don't care." Aries stated.
"Yeah, that's fair...sorry for assuming that you were just going to kill her." Rainbow Dash apologized.
"That was my intent, but now that I have a way to save her, I plan to do so." Aries clarified.
"Oh...yeah, shoulda guessed." Rainbow Dash lamented, clearly uncertain how to respond.
"...Would you mind getting off. I have been plagued by hormones since my transformation and your buttocks is uncomfortably close to-" Aries was suddenly sprawled out on the floor in Sunset's room with Rainbow Dash standing a fair distance away from him with an immense blush on her face. "Just focus on helping Sunset and don't ever mention that to anyone! "
Aries nodded his agreement and rose to his feet. "I will need my sword to face the Neverborn."
Rainbow Dash looked between him and the sword in her hands. Even though he could no longer feel her emotions, the mistrust was plain to see.
"I lack the speed of an Astartes and even if I didn't, you are still faster than me. And I give you my word that I will not kill your friend." Aries stated as he held out his hand.
Rainbow Dash paused for a moment, but ultimately decided to trust him and gave Aries his weapon.
Aries returned to Sunset Shimmer's side and placed an open palm onto her forehead. The surge of emotions wasn't as bad as it was before. Not only because Aries expected it, but because the emotions themselves were growing calmer.
Aries hit the ground feet first, he did not stumble this time.
Sunset Shimmer retained her shield, the Daemons circled her like vultures, but none dared to attack. The Unicorn was still scared of them, but knowing that she could protect herself had made her bolder.
"Sunset Shimmer!" Aries called out only for a thunderclap to drown him out once more.
Aries brought up Warp Eater, the sword returned to its true glory, and ignited the power field. There would be no running this time.
Aries stepped forth. The Daemons surged, startling Sunset. But this time, her fear was not panicked. She did not seek to flee, but to defend herself. And this caused her fear to spur Aries onward.
"FOR THE EMPEROR!!!" At last, Sunset heard his voice and traced the swarm of Neverborn to their quarry. Aries charged the swarm and struck like a thunderhammer. Warp Eater dissipated every Daemon it touched as the War Hound's fist and feet added to the carnage.
Shock. Astonishment. Hope. These emotions did not sway Sunset's fear, but Aries found them an odd, but pleasant sensation.
Aries cut through the swarm with minimal damage to his armor. He charged straight for Sunset's shield with the surviving Neverborn hot on his heels.
The War Hound commando rolled into Sunset's shield, passing right through, and smiled at the shrieks of agony as the Neverborn crashed into the fatal barrier.
Sunset kept her eyes on the Neverborn. The slower Daemons diverted away from the shield, but were now far more agitated.
Her eyes drifted towards the kneeling War Hound as Aries rose to his full height and turned to her. "I am here to wake you."
Sunset examined him while keeping an eye on the Great Enemy. "You...You're Aries, aren't you. The one Twilight told me about?"
"Yes, I am Aries of the War Hounds Legion. By request of the Spirit of Harmony, I and Twilight Sparkle, among others, have traveled to this world to undo the machinations of the one called Sindri." Aries explained.
Sunset's eyes widened. "...S-Sindri...that's right...I...I saw him..." Aries felt the crippling fear before the tears flowed. Sunset Shimmer lost the strength to stand while Aries' breathing became erratic and his sword arm trembled.
As Sunset Shimmer stood on the verge of a nervous breakdown, her shield began to waver. "St-STAND AND FIGHT!!" Aries shouted with a broken voice.
Sunset was removed from her stupor and brought her guard back up just as a Daemon was confident enough to lunge at her, costing the creature its existence.
"Yes, Sindri is real. The Ruinous Powers are real. Are you going to let this reality consume you? Or are you going to spit in the face of those who despise you for no reason save you have the audacity not to lay down and die?" Aries questioned.
"...I have a bad habit of not doing what I'm told...I've been trying to grow out of it for awhile...but there are times when I just can't help myself." The Unicorn replied. Her horn glowing brighter as she stood more confidently.
The Daemons grew anxious. Some swarmed around the shield more violently, losing their clawed hands in probing strikes, but others distanced themselves, afraid of the creature within.
"The Spirit of Harmony revealed itself to me as a presence in the Warp. Your sorcery is tied to its power. You are Chaosbane." Aries.
Sunset chuckled to herself. "Seriously? I've been afraid of something that can't even hurt me this whole time?"
Aries felt pride and confidence swell in his being. "Don't overestimate yourself. A Terminator armed with a heavy flamer can still be brought low by Orks capable of outflanking and bypassing its defenses."
The words of caution did the trick. The confidence lowered and the gap was swiftly filled with focus. "Right. They can hurt me...but only if I make it easy for them."
"Time to awaken. FOR THE EMPEROR!!" Aries shouted. Sunset dropped her shield and fired a laser into the heart of the swarm. Aries cut down any Daemon that tried to outflank the Unicorn. And while Aries merely banished the Warpspawn, Sunset Shimmer destroyed them.
The beasts fled, nothing greater than the animals of the Warp revealed themselves, and everything turned white.
When the whiteness faded, Aries was standing by the now waking Sunset Shimmer. "...erm...ur...uh...what? Where am-" "SUNSET!!" Rainbow Dash shouted as she rushed forward and hugged the barely conscious girl, bumping into Aries as she did so and giving him a taste of her relief and joy. Aries had never known such happiness before.
"Heh, it appears that I am still connected to this 'geode' you mentioned. I've always wondered what such emotions felt like." Aries stated as a relieved tear rolled down his cheek.
Sunset finally realized who he was. "Woah, you're...human? I mean human human?"
"In this world, yes. A side effect of the portal that brought us here." Aries explained.
"Heh, you should see the Ork. He turned into a girl for some reason." Rainbow Dash stated, though the humor for the Ork's new form remained buried under the joy in her eyes to see Sunset Shimmer alive and well.
"Heh, that's...something. Can't wait to see it...and get to the bottom of this." Sunset's eyes shined with focused fury as she spoke.
"Yeah, pretty sure the doctor's not gonna let you out because a Space Marine from a tabletop game chased the Daemons out of your head. That's a stretch even by our standards." Rainbow Dash snarked while unstrapping Sunset's protective restraints.
Sunset laughed at the absurd truth of her statement. "Hehehe, I guess I'm stuck here a whi-" She stopped, patting the base of her neck for a moment before checking under her shirt for something that wasn't there.
"...M..My geode. I don't have it." She muttered in a confused voice.
"What? Uh, do you have it?" Rainbow Dash asked Aries.
"I've never even seen the thing...did it grant me its Empathy powers from afar?" The War Hound inquired.
"I don't thi- ...Empathy ...Empathy ...OF COURSE!!" Rainbow Dash shouted, slamming her fist into an open palm.
Aries and Sunset both stared at her. "What? Isn't it obvious!? He's like Talos Valcoran!"
Sunset's eyes shined with recognition, but Aries was more confused than ever. "In what manner could you possibly compare me to the Prophet of the VIIIth Legion?"
"Well, Talos got his powers from his Primarch...and so did you." Rainbow Dash clarified.
"...Pfffthaaahahahahahahahahaa!" Aries couldn't help himself. The thought was too absurd for his mortal mind to process. Angron? Empathy!?
"Wuh...what are you laughing about? It's true!" Rainbow Dash pouted, taken aback by the War Hound's reaction.
"He wouldn't know that Rainbow Dash. Most World Eaters didn't." Sunset clarified.
Aries regained control of himself. "...You...You're serious."
Sunset nodded. "Angron had empathic powers, a gift from the Emperor, but he lost them when the Nucerians implanted the Butcher's Nails. And since he had all the World Eaters receive the Nails too, none of them would've awakened such powers...until now."
"...I...I see." Aries all but whispered. Sunset knew what he was thinking.
"...The power is yours Aries, not your father's." Sunset assured him.
"Besides, your dad might've turned out alright without the Nails in his head." Rainbow Dash added.
"Well they are in his head...and they made him a monster...a monster who betrayed the Emperor and slaughtered my brothers." Aries stated.
"...R-right, sorry. I won't pretend to know what that's like." Rainbow Dash said, ashamed that she had brought back these memories.
Aries didn't reply, he simply grabbed his school bag, placed Warp Eater within, and walked out of the room. Rainbow Dash tried to say something else, but Sunset stopped her.
Aries exited her room. He had accepted the reality that Harmony had given him the means to save Sunset Shimmer without killing her, but knowing the true source of this power was a heresy he could not forgive.
These thoughts flooded his mind...until the explosion.
A thunderous blast followed by heat and shattered drywall almost threw Aries to the ground. He rose to his feet and ran back to Sunset's room.
Her room had been the origin of the blast. The room within was a smouldering wreck with Sunset's empty bed being close to falling into a hole in the floor whilst a bed on the third floor had already fallen into the first.
Even as a mortal, Aries could tell the blast had originated on the ceiling, but not from the third floor. A handheld missile launcher fired into the window was the cause of this. An assassination attempt!
Simdri has enlisted a mortal's aid! Aries thought to himself as he turned away from the room...only to be met with a pleasant surprise.
His mortal eyes had failed to register that Sunset and Rainbow Dash were out in the hall, but his mind quickly pieced together that Rainbow Dash had been fast enough to carry Sunset Shimmer to safety between the missile's launch and its detonation.
Sunset had been thrown clear and was trying to get her bearings...Rainbow Dash had flung her across the hall just as the missile detonated, sending the door crashing into the rainbow haired teen and slamming her into the wall.
Aries ran to her, but hospital staff had finally arrived and shooed him away. Mortal and unranked in this world, he complied and waited.
A nurse put her fingers to the young girl's neck...and shook her head. She was gone.
Aries turned to Sunset, the flame haired teen had regained her senses in time to see the Nurse turn away from Rainbow Dash's corpse and question her and Aries. Neither responded, one for her grief and shock, the other for knowing things were more dire than they initially thought.
Author's Note
Dun dun duuunn. The plot thickens.
Giving Aries Empathy was something I didn't think of until after I had finished Broken Beast, and was actually one of the deciding factors in me starting Vol. 3 so soon.
I'm still contemplating how Aries is going to react as local authorities get more and more involved with this fiasco. But for now, the next chapter focuses on Greenskin and the Dazzlings.
So, can anyone guess who our Chaos Cultist is, or how many there are? I hope it won't be too obvious before the reveal.
That's all I got for now, see you all next time.
The Grimdark 6 Vol Three: Dark Humor
Chapter 5: Safety WAAAGH!
"Iz you sure dis iz da roight place?" Greenskin asked.
"They said they had to get to Capper's, but that was a while ago so they could've left." One of the Fluttershys stated while scanning the bar for any sign of the Dazzlings. So far, they only found a small group of fans wearing Dazzling clothing sitting next to a stage where an amateur band performed.
"Well, let's figure it out den." Greenskin stated while walking up to the bar while getting more than a few stares from a group of men who stood out as trouble makers.
"...they...they know she's a teenager right?" The Equestrian Fluttershy asked.
Greenskin passed a man who decided to squeeze her butt. The Ork Gal threw a Toof Tayka on instinct and knocked his lights out, eliciting roars of laughter from the guy's friends. "...This is a very bad place to be." The local Fluttershy replied.
Greenskin made her way to bar. The Equestrian Fluttershy recognized the man running as a human version of Capper: the Abyssinian she and her friends met in Kludgetown.
"How can I help you little lady?" The sharply dressed barkeep asked the Ork Gal.
"I'm lookin' fer a group ov gitz called da Dazzlinz. Know where I can foind'em?" Greenskin inquired.
"Sure do, they'll be on that stage in 4 minutes. Can I interest you in a drink while you wait?" Capper offered.
"Sure. Come on ovah Boss, we'ze gonna wait fer'em 'ere!" The Ork Gal called out to the Fluttershys.
The girls looked at each nervously before taking the long way to the bar to give the group of trouble makers a wide berth.
Capper laughed to himself when the other girls joined Greenskin at the bar. "Hmhmhm, you Dazzling fans sure are devoted. It's such a shame that there's so few of you left."
"So few? I thought the Dazzlings had plenty of fans." The human Fluttershy said.
"They did a few a couple years ago. But they've only just put together a new song in all that time. They never really recovered from the incident." Capper sighed.
"Youze mean when dey got krumped fer bein' gitz?" Greenskin asked.
"I don't know the full story, and most people who say they were there tell the most hair brained things you ever heard with magical pony princesses or whatever, all I know is that they tried to cheat out their competition during a battle of the bands, their opponents got physical, and they haven't been able to sing right since. Hmph, showbiz." The bartender said.
"Well, dat'z wut happens when ya pick a foight wiff sumfin bigga an' meena dan you." Greenskin stated.
The band that had been playing when the trio walked in concluded their song to a moderate applause. As they left the stage, the lights shut off...and a single piano note announced the next group.
It wasn't Orky, not even close, but Greenskin still found her head swaying as her mind wondered back to his time in Commoragh. Day in, day out, nothing changed. It was an endless repetition of agony that ultimately convinced him that life wasn't worth living...until he came to Equestria...and found the magic himself.
While Greenskin appreciated the song, as well as the small group of fans, most people either tuned them out or shouted at them to stop playing.
The song wasn't long, but it left an impression on the room. A good one for Greenskin and the fan club, not so much for the other listeners.
"Heh heh, glad to see some of you still like that one, but none of you came here to hear the same song again. So without further ado, our new single!" Adagio announced to the supporting cheers of her fans, and cantankerous indifference of the other people in the bar.
The band started a more upbeat rythm, and the two Fluttershys felt something.
Both of them were perplexed, not because they didn't what was...but because they did. It was the urge everycreature in Equestria and this world of humans experienced before breaking into song. This had been accepted as part of reality by both cultures over the years, but what struck the scenario as abnormal was the fact that they were struck with the urge to sing along with a live performer's song...and a group of performers that would most definitely object.
The two Fluttershys were so enveloped by the absurdity of this scenario...that neither of them noticed Greenskin moving towards the stage.
Adagio swallowed the building saliva in her mouth, thinking to what led them here.
It had taken the Dazzlings so long to learn how to sing naturally after the Battle of the Bands left them all but tone deaf and unable to hold a rhyme. And when they did return to the stage, it was with the humiliating assistance of an instrumental loop for their hit single.
In the two years since, all efforts to write a new song have failed. Aria spoke up, saying that she had a way for the Dazzlings to regain their power and take over the world. But Sonata was concerned about losing what they had made for themselves.
"We're already losing it you idiot. Without our magic, we're just one-hit wonders." Aria had argued back. Adagio put an end to the fighting, she wasn't entirely thrilled about the risk, but she knew something had to change.
Luckily, she had already put together their next show...in a bar with only a half dozen fans left who cared. So she told Sonata that if she could put together a new hit single to save their reputation, they would stay the course. If not, they go along with Aria's plan.
The band had been instructed to just play along with whatever Sonata came up with...but Adagio knew there'd be nothing to play to. "Alright Sonata, what're we singing?" Adagio asked with a knowing frown.
Sonata, as expected, choked. "Um, uh, w-we could try We Will Be Adored again."
"You really need to choke on the song of our defeat one last time before you give up?" Aria deadpanned.
"We'll never know we can't do it until we try!" Sonata said unconvincing sincerity.
"Whatever, let's get this ove-what the!?" Aria shouted as the tomboyish girl that gave her and Adagio a makeover, that they had hastily covered up backstage, suddenly jumped onto the stage and snatched Adagio's microphone from her.
"What're you lot doin? Just sittin around, doin nuffin, muckin about!? We've got humies ta krump, Necronz ta put back in da ground, and ovva peepul ta ovvawise incapaceetayte!" Greenskin shouted into the mic before turning around and throwing three fingers into the air. "Free!..Too!...WAAAGH!!"
The band, believing this to be their cue, switched beats to an intense heavy metal song that relied heavily on drums and guitar riffs. The Dazzlings were every bit as shocked as their fans and the bar goers, who were suddenly paying a lot more attention.
We can waaagh if we wannu, we can leave yer gitz be'ind.
We can fight where we wannu, we can krump da buggies in dere 'ives.
An' we can WAAAGH!
The Ork Gal paused and headbanged while the band went nuts. The bar goers started cheering and standing from their seats to move closer to the stage. Meanwhile Sonata had started dancing to the Ork Gal's tune and encouraging her sisters to play along. Adagio has hesitant, Aria refused, and even tried to stop the Ork's performance before Adagio stopped her. "We're the ones getting paid for this. Just let it go."
We can waaagh if we wannu, we can leave yer gitz be'ind.
We can rayde where we wannu, humies bezt keep dat in moind.
An' we can WAAAGH!
As the band had another break down, Adagio saw both Fluttershys making their through the crowd, looking nervously at their friend who was stealing the show, but also dancing along to the song.
Adagio was naturally miffed, and so was Aria who was ready to start another brawl with Greenskin at any moment, but Sonata seemed to be having fun, and more importantly, so did the crowd.
The Ork Gal sang another verse while one of the Fluttershys called out to Sonata to whisper something in her ear.
We can do what we wannu, keep da grotz an' gitz in line.
We can foight what we wannu, warband is all ready now. We WAAAGH! in da day, we WAAAGH! in da noight, we WAAAGH! till erryone is gone!
Sonata passed the Fluttershy's message to her sisters. Aria dismissed the idea aggressively, but Adagio decided to go along with it and chant alongside Sonata in the background.
We Can WAAAGH!
The crowd went wild, and so did the band and the Ork. Adagio and Sonata did a much tamer dance...but it wasn't tame enough.
Sonata accidentally stepped on Aria's foot, and the already irate siren exploded. "OW! THAT'S IT! I'M PUTTING AN END TO THIS FARCE RIGHT NOW!!!"
Aria moved to attack Greenskin, but Sonata intervened. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? WE FINALLY GOT PEOPLE TO CHEER FOR US AGAIN!!"
"THEY'RE NOT CHEERING FOR US! THEY'RE CHEERING FOR HER!! THIS ENTIRE SHOW WAS A MISTAKE! WE'RE GOING ALONG WITH MY PLAN JUST AS SOON AS I PUT THAT COW IN A HOSPITAL!!" Aria declared while Sonata tried to wrestle her away from the Ork Gal.
People in the crowd started taking notice while the band increased their tempo like the argument was part of the show. Adagio prepared to intervene, but Greenskin beat her to the punch as the song's rising beat reached its peak and fell into another break down.
QUIIIIEEEEEETT!!!! YOU GITZ BEZT STOP MUCKIN AROUND OR I'LL BOP YER 'EAD OFF AN' FEED IT TO DA SQUIGZ! WE'VE GOT WORK TA DO! GET IN LINE!
Sonata listened, if only out of fear, but Aria moved to attack Greenskin again only for Adagio to catch her by the shoulder. "We're going to see this song through and then we're going to have a conversation about who's in charge." The Dazzling's leader hissed venomously as she pulled her rebellious sister in line with Sonata as Greenskin signaled the band's guitar solo. Free!..Too!..WAAAGH!
The crowd went insane. Some of them actually trying to get on stage, but the Ork Gal chased them off with unfiltered viciousness. The exception was the two Fluttershys, who Greenskin brought on stage and directed to stand next to the Dazzlings and get ready for the next chanting segment after one last chorus.
We can waaagh if we wannu. If we charge in, we'll be fine.
We can waaagh if we wannu, we can- Greenskin stuck out the mic for the crowd to shout out a thunderous LEAVE YOUR GITS BEHIND!! before bringing it back to finish out the chorus. Cause yer Gitz don' WAAAGH! an' dey don' WAAAGH! den deze no Gitz ov mine!
The Fluttershys and Sonata started chanting again, followed hesitantly by Adagio.
Once again, the crowd, band, and Ork Gal went wild. Once again, the back up singers danced in a tamer manner...and once again, someone stepped on Aria by accident as the song ended.
The unfortunate soul this time was one of the Fluttershys, who was promtly shoved into the other by Aria who tried to follow up the push with a beating, only for Adagio to intervene in order to try and stop her sister from getting arrested.
This sparked an argument between the Dazzlings which Greenskin unknowingly masked as part of the show by saying into the mic. "You Gitz iz werfless." Eliciting roars of laughter from those of the crowd who had taken notice...most were still cheering.
The Ork Gal then dropped the microphone, still puzzled by why she suddenly felt the urge to sing, but there was a more pressing matter to attend to. Greenskin walked up to the arguing Dazzlings and shouted. "OY! YOU GITZ WERKIN' FER A GIT NAMED SINDREE!?"
Two of the Dazzlings looked at her with confusion...Aria looked at her with shock. "...H-how do you..."
Greenskin smiled menacingly and cracked her knuckles. "All I needed ta heer."
Author's Note
This is definitely my most MLPish chapter to date, but I just couldn't help it.
While this is obviously a parody of the Safety Dance, it is also a 40k spin on a Warhammer Fantasy parody that actually introduced me to the Safety Dance and is a must hear for any Ork fans reading this.
Coming up next will be Greenskin confronting the Dazzlings about Sindri...as well as an explanation for why she spontaneously bursted into song.
That's all I got for now, see you all next time.
The Grimdark 6 Vol Three: Dark Humor
Chapter 6: Songs Of The Heart
"All I needed ta heer." Greenskin said with a smile as he advanced towards the Dazzlings.
"Wait, who's Sindrey?" Asked Sonata.
Greenskin stopped. "Wait, so da lot ov youze ain't werkin' fer'im? Just dat one?" He asked, pointing a finger at Aria.
Adagio looked towards her more aggressive sister. "Aria, what is she talking about?"
Aria snarled between clinched teeth. "...You remember that plan I had?...it wasn't mine."
Adagio breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, it's a good thing we didn't go along with it. No, we are not working for this 'Sindrey' person."
Greenskin moaned in disappointment at not having a git to punch, but the two Fluttershys breathed sighs of relief. "That's good, he would've tricked you anyway." One of them said.
"Duly noted. And...thanks." Adagio said.
The Fluttershys and the other Dazzlings did a double take. "D-did you just thank us!? "
"Why wouldn't I?" The head Dazzling asked with a sarcastic smirk as she waved a hand towards the cheering crowd who were demanding autographs. "I'm pretty sure they want more than just ours...but we're the ones getting paid for it."
As the Dazzlings expected, Greenskin was the most popular girl of the night, which was a nightmare for the Equestrian Fluttershy because Greenskin didn't know how to write or even what was happening. But the three of them needed to stick around a little longer.
Aria had spoken with Sindri, and even if the Dazzlings were turning down his plan, she might still know some details.
It was a long shot, given the Alpha Legion, but it was the only lead the girls had at the moment.
Luckily, the bar hadn't been packed. So the ordeal was over in an hour or so. Most of the audience had left to blog about the song and Greenskin(who most believed was a new member of the Dazzlings) leaving only a few dedicated drinkers on the edges of the establishment while the Fluttershys and Greenskin sat opposite the Dazzlings near the center of the bar.
"So to start, do you know what Sindri is planning?" Fluttershy asked.
"...No, he just told me that he had a plan, and was willing to give us more power than we ever held before if we agreed to help him." Aria explained, still miffed about Adagio making her talk to them as 'repayment'.
Greenskin snorted in amusement. "An' you beleeved'im? He's a Daemon ya git."
"Well it was better than singing for the few creeps who were lonely enough to give us the time of day and enough money to buy junk food!" Aria snarled.
"It really is fortunate that our otherworldly metabolism prevents us from getting fat." Adagio added while Sonata noisily snacked on some nachos provided by Capper.
That seemed to be it for Sindri, but the kind nature of the Fluttershys compelled them to ask an entirely different set of questions. "Couldn't you just...find some work?"
The three Dazzlings stared at the young girl like she had spoken in the ancient language of the Necrontyr before throwing their heads back and laughing. "GaHAAA-haahaahaahaahahahahahaaaa!!! Us!? Doing normal jobs!?"
"Well if ya gitz can't sing, an' ya can't foight, den all dat'z left is Grot'z Work." Greenskin snipped.
The Dazzlings stopped laughing. Aria stared daggers at the Ork Gal, Sonata awkwardly went back to her nachos, and Adagio took a breath. "...We could sing. We lost it for awhile after the Battle of the Bands, but the Song in our hearts did come back."
"Da song in yer wut?" Greenskin asked.
"It's a magical force in Equestria that compels everycreature to sing. Some scientists traced the origin of its energy to the Tree of Harmony, but it's known to have existed before the tree was planted. There are some who say ancient spirits brought the song to Equestria, but nopony knows where it really came from. And even stranger, it also exists in this world." Fluttershy explained.
"So dat'z why I jumped on stage an' started flappin' me gob loike dat!" Greenskin exclaimed.
"The legends in our world say masked angels came from the Heavens and sang the first song. No one knows if there's any truth to that, but there are several churches who sing the exact same song and agree that the angels sung it." The other Fluttershy added.
"Oooookaay, so wut does dis 'ave tah do wiff dem." Greenskin asked while pointing at the Dazzlings.
"Well, considering that they were using the songs for evil, somehow, I guess when we blasted them, it took away the song in their hearts." The human Fluttershy stated.
"Yeah, that's about it. Those amulets we wore held a spell that allowed us to warp the song's purpose. We discovered that they were used to enhance those sickening frivolous emotions you Ponies are so fond of. We could use them to enhance negative emotions. But after the amulets were destroyed and we lost the song, we grew desperate. We could always get by on our music, and I'm pretty sure it's the only reason we survived the Dark Ages, but without it, we were helpless, homeless, and hopeless." Adagio explained.
"But then it came back!" Shouted Sonata, who had finished her nachos and decided to join the conversation.
Aria was not amused by the sudden outburst. "For one lousy song, that's it."
Adagio sighed. "Yeah, I hit an all time low. I threw in the towel and said an honest prayer to...whoever was listening that if they let us have a way out of this situation, I'd be grateful for what I had and never try to take over the world again. It worked, my sisters and I came up with Find The Magic the very next morning, like it came to us in a dream...but that was it. The song kept us going for a little while but...you know the rest."
Adagio looked down at her hands, Sonata laid a comforting hand on her shoulder, and Aria turned away from her sisters with a huff.
"Wut was dat about?" Greenskin asked the aggressive siren.
Aria went bug eyed for a minute before returning to her default irate expression. "W-what are you talking about?"
Greenskin narrowed her eyes. "If ya really didn't know, ya wouldn't 'ave acted loike you was caught fer a second dere. You Bony Gitz is really bad at loiyen."
Sonata opened to inquire about the conversation but Aria shouted over her. "We're not Ponies you idiot!"
"You'ze still a bad loiyah! An' youze da one who stole dat song fing!" Greenskin pointed an accusing finger at the Dazzling.
"WHAT!?" Aria shouted. "THAT'S INSANE!! SINDRI ONLY JUST GOT HERE! WE LOST THE SONGS TWO YEARS AGO!!!" The siren all but screamed.
Greenskin stood from her seat. "An' 'ow did you know dat eh!?"
"Greenskin! What are you doing!?" Shouted Fluttershy.
"Askin' kweshunz. Dat'z wut weze 'ere fer innit!? Now 'ow do you know dat da Spiky Boy only jus' got 'ere?" Greenskin repeated with an accusing glare while the Fluttershys looked at Aria apologetically and her sisters seemed to be waiting for an answer themselves.
"Um, I-I don't know, maybe he has been here longer, but he didn't contact me until after he attacked Sunset Shimmer!" Aria blurted.
"Wait what!?" Shouted Adagio and Sonata while the Fluttershys apologetic looks became shocked and the Ork Gal grinned victoriously. "An' just when did da Boss mention Sunset to ya? I know I didn't."
Aria went quiet. Everyone at the table stared at her. Her sisters most of all. "Aria, how much do you really know?" Adagio asked in a stern voice.
Aria glared at her sister. "How much do I know? I know that you've gone soft! " The siren shouted. "I expected that from Sonata, but you're the one who discovered the spell that let us harness power from hatred in the first place, and you're willing to give that up to be a Pop Star!? "
Adagio was in Aria's face in an instant. "We're not giving it up, we lost you idiot! Trying to go above our station is the reason we were banished from the Harmonizing Isles, banished from Equestria, and left powerless, tone deaf, and starving until we finally got the message...and you would rather play along with a demon who is more than likely trying to use us as disposable pawns!?"
"We can use him as a pa- "NO!!" Adagio shouted. "Everything we worked for! Everything we had to beg to get back! You're willing to throw it all away for the smallest chance at a better life with a bigger risk than we've ever taken before!..And you stole our songs? Why?"
"Because I wanted you back! He told me that the only way to keep you from becoming like Sonata was if we lost our singing permanently...and he was right." Aria said, pouring as much venom as she could into her last word.
The sound of flesh striking flesh rang out across the bar and drew every pair of eyes towards the group.
Aria regained her balance with a soothing hand on her throbbing cheek, staring at Adagio with a dumbstruck, almost pleading expression, but her sister wouldn't budge.
Aria's expression changed into a hateful glare. "I knew it, you have gone soft."
Adagio met her stare with one of her own. "Are you going to do something about it?"
The tension momentarily dissipated when Capper walked over. "Now, I heard barely a half of your shouting match and didn't understand every other word of it, but I should warn you that if things turn physical, I will contact the authorities."
Aria looked between her sister and the bar owner and the other bar goers who seemed to be concerned by their conduct. Then she took a breath and glared at Adagio once more. "They'll be no need for that...I was just leaving."
"Oh no youze ain't." Snarled Greenskin as she circled around the table towards Aria. "If youze really is werkin' fer dat Daemon git, den youze ain't goin' nowhere."
Aria snickered. "If you lay a finger on me, the cops'll haul you off to jail. Mention anything about demons and magic, and they'll haul you off to the loony bin."
Greenskin moved to attack, but Fluttershy grabbed her arm. "She's right Greenskin, we can't cause a scene."
"Better listen to your 'boss' your only option is to let me go." Aria said with a smug grin as she walked past the Ork Gal.
"DA HELL IT IS!!" Greenskin shouted as she wrenched her arm Fluttershy's grip and threw a hammer fist into Aria's face.
"NOO!!!" Screamed Fluttershy as she rushed to the Ork who had followed Aria to the ground with the intention of beating her to death. The other Fluttershy and Sonata tried to help while Capper reached for his cellphone and several bar goers took out their phones. Some to contact the authorities, others to record the fight.
Suddenly, Capper seized and went limp, falling to the floor like a puppet with cut strings followed by the bar goers.
Adagio, shocked still at the sudden string of events, stared dumbly at the bar owner's body...and the dart protruding from his neck. Her eyes moved from Capper to the bar's entrance where she stared into the dark eyes of a very pale boy who seemed to be amused by the chain of events.
The boy's overcoat made it look like he was gliding as he made his way to the dogpile on Aria.
"Grr, sto-GET OFF!!" Greenskin shouted as he shook off the human Fluttershy, sending her tumbling into the mysterious boy.
He caught her without stumbling. She looked at him with recognition, it was someone they knew, but that was all Adagio could put together as she watched him glide around Fluttershy towards the pile.
Sonata was thrown off next, she crashed bodily into Adagio, finally shaking her out of her stupor as she was tangled up with her sister's limbs.
The two sisters untangled in time to see the mysterious boy tap Fluttershy's shoulder. "It's alright, there are no further witnesses. Let him kill her."
"Wha-NO!!" Shouted Sonata. The boy's hand moved faster than Adagio could see, she was barely able to make out the dart in her sister's neck as her body fell to the floor.
"Apologies, I had forgotten that one was...slow. But you understand the situation, don't you." Adagio realized that he was speaking directly to her.
"This is insane! Greenskin please stop!" Fluttershy shouted, just as taken by the madness of the situation as Adagio.
"There's nothing to understand little one. The Siren has chosen damnation, and she must die. Sparing her life would not only mean more suffering for us, but also for them. " The boy inclined his head towards Adagio and Sonata.
"Da Panzee's roight Boss! You 'eard her! Dis git's mukkin' around wiff DAEMONS!" Greenskin shouted while trying to strangle Aria. She had learned during the struggle that she wasn't capable of smashing her head in with her humie fists.
Fluttershy stopped pulling against the Ork, but didn't let go. "B..but i-"
"Do you recall the Haemonculus you killed? The horrors he unleashed? This girl is willing to unleash a greater monster upon this world. One that will unleash suffering the likes of which you have yet to witness...but I already know that's not the reason you hesitate. In your heart, you know she must die. But you're thinking of her sisters, the ones she is willing to betray, the ones she is willing to subject to such horror. They still love this traitor. They've been together for millennia after all. So fine, if Adagio there is foolish enough to spare this filth, I will permit it...there is still a window of opportunity to destroy her before she can cause suffering to anyone else ." The boy looked Adagio dead in the eye as he said that, causing the Dazzling to feel an icy chill on her spine, as though someone had walked over her grave.
Adagio looked down at Aria, her hateful eyes focused on Greenskin, struggling desperately to stop the stronger woman from choking the life out of her.
Aria had always been the more aggressive of the three. Even though Adagio shared her lust for power, Aria could never think beyond what she wanted, never thought about anything but getting it. She was in and out of trouble long before Adagio and Sonata started their own bad habits.
She would often blame her sisters for not helping her with her foolishness, and Adagio would promise that when the time came, they would all have what they wanted.
She believed that time came when she created the gemstones that let them harness hatred incited through their singing, Aria thought so too, but it was not to be. And now history was repeating itself, Aria was going to do something foolish and it was going to backfire. But this time...the consequences would be far more permanent.
Adagio choked. She knew the smart thing to do, and it's not like she never put others in harm's way for her benefit before. But she had never directly caused someone's death, least of all her sister.
That moment's hesitation would prove fatal. Aria managed to get one of her thumbs into Greenskin's eye, causing the Ork Gal to bring up one of her own hands to defend herself, which in turn allowed Aria time to reach down and draw a knife from her boot and stab the Ork.
Fluttershy, who was all but touching the Ork Gal's shoulders at this point, immediately pulled her friend away from the armed Dazzling for fear that Aria would stab her again. Aria took the chance and ran.
"Hm hm hm, that will come back to haunt you." The dark clothed boy said to Adagio with an amused smile.
"You...WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP HER!?" Shouted the mortal Fluttershy.
"All is as it should be. Tragedy is a merciless, but effective teacher. Speaking of which, during the chain of events that transpired since entering this establishment, you received a message from your friends on your smartphone." The boy said.
The young girl's eyes shrank to pinpricks at the implication and she swiftly pulled her phone and messages. Adagio watched her stare numbly at it, letting it fall to the floor and continue staring into her hand as her breathing elevated, the only implication the Dazzling had for what had happened was the blood curdling scream before Fluttershy broke down and wailed in despair.
The boy nodded in understanding before turning his attention back to Adagio. "Things are in motion that cannot be undone. The fires of war will forge heroes capable of reshaping the very galaxy. Fleeing from this city will not save you from the horrors to come. If you wish to survive, it would be wise to join us."
"Wuh...wh..who are you?" Adagio all but whispered.
The boy's smirk grew wider. "A fool found in a situation so desperate and absurd that all I can do is laugh at my immanent demise as I head towards it hoping I somehow survive. But you may refer to me as Krae'Nakh."
Author's Note
And another one done. Sorry if this one seemed more thrown together than the past three, I've hit the bottom of my pre-thought up plans for now and it'll be two or three more chapters before I get back to something I've long since envisioned.
Harlequins are perhaps the only sub faction more mysterious than the Alpha Legion, makes it a little difficult to justify what Krae'Nakh is up to until several chapters down the line.
And yes, Fluttershy's text was informing her about the human Rainbow Dash's death. Speaking of which, next chapter will feature Aries in the most uncomfortable position possible: explaining himself to the police.
Also, in unrelated news...I did a funny.
That's all I got for this chapter, see you all next time.
The Grimdark 6 Vol Three: Dark Humor
Chapter 7: The Price of War
"They are nothing to us. Pay them no mind." The words echoed in Aries' mind as he waited. The words were spoken by a Chaplain when he was but a Neophyte, he had been observing menials for the first time since his ascension. Even then, he hadn't believed the Chaplain's words...far less so now.
As a witness to a murder and potential terrorist attack, Aries had been taken to the local police station for questioning. He waited in an interrogation room, mortal and helpless to defy this delay to his mission. He had no authority on this world.
A few more moments of silence passed before a detective, this world's counterpart to Neighsay, made his way into the room. "Officer Berrytwist tells me that you had weapons in your backpack. Do you care to explain how a minor got possession of a firearm?"
"...I am older than I appear." Aries stated. Informing this world of the impending threat looming over it would be the wisest decision, but doing so in a manner that they would believe seemed impossible to the War Hound. But he would lie as little as possible and try to lead this human to discover the truth on his own...if he couldn't find a better solution.
"Old enough to be involved with terrorists, it seems. Who are you, who is responsible for this, and why are you so interested in Ms. Shimmer?" Neighsay inquired.
"The answer...is difficult to explain. I would first need to know how much you are aware of...Ms. Shimmer." Aries stated.
Neighsay narrowed his gaze. "If you are referring to the numerous unexplainable incidents that occurred prior to the young girl's graduation, we know enough. What do you know?"
Aries was afraid of this. Neighsay didn't trust him. Wise, but inconvenient. If the detective was aware of Sunset's true nature, Aries could explain the situation and earn his assistance. But if Neighsay wasn't aware, and Aries told him about magical talking Ponies from another dimension, and that he was a super soldier from another other dimension, then that would be the end of it.
"...I know that she and her friends have saved a lot of lives and thwarted a lot of evils. I know that one such evil has come here to destroy her and this city, and I know that this evil is responsible for Rainbow Dash's death." Aries explained.
"And you think you can stop it alone...with a short sword and a Desert Eagle...without a proper identification...even your fingerprints don't match anyone in our database. You do not appear to exist...in this world." Neighsay said.
Aries breathed out a sigh of relief. It was easily the oddest and most uncomfortable thing he had done since coming to this world. "So you know."
"It's difficult not to. But our fresh recruits still think we're just messing with them. Of course, we have no idea how to handle a magic problem. But the madman behind this didn't use magic, he used an RPG. Not the easiest piece of hardware to find in a peaceful town that has stricter gun control laws than the entire state of California. Which means that us normal heroes can find it. Unfortunately, we will have to cooperate with the FBI. Which means that your vague approach will be a wise choice. But I need the whole story." Neighsay explained.
And so Aries told him. He explained Equestria, he explained Sunset Shimmer, and then he explained himself, the wider galaxy, and Sindri.
"So...an interdimensional human sorcerer who transformed into a demon that also comes from another universe's Earth that fights aliens...I never thought I'd miss the days when I didn't believe in such nonsense, but here we are." Neighsay sighed.
"As I said, I will have to cooperate with the FBI, so getting your direct assistance is out of the question. I will be assigning a pair of Uniforms to watch over you. Formally, they are protecting you and Sunset's friends. Informally, I will pass information to you through them and hope that you will do the same." The detective stated.
"Thank you...sir." Aries stated.
Sunset was shell shocked. The memory of the explosion kept playing back in her head. She and Rainbow Dash were talking about how much they pitied Aries for what he went through, Rainbow Dash heard screeching tires just outside their window and investigated, and then Sunset was outside her room and being showered with shrapnel.
The paramedics had bandaged her scratches and scrapes, there was nothing serious, and then she had been taken from the hospital to the police station.
Rainbow Dash was dead. That undeniable fact refused to give Sunset peace. She hadn't spoken a word during her interrogation, and only nodded in acknowledgement when an officer informed her that they were taking her home.
She sat in the back of a patrol car beside Aries. The only contact between the two was when Aries accidentally brushed Sunset's arm with his, and then pulled away sharply as if he had been bitten by a cobra.
One of the two cops in the front seats said...something, possibly inquiring about Aries' sudden reaction. He replied in a broken voice, entralled in the fading effects of Sunset's grief. He kept as far away from her as possible after that. Sunset barely even noticed.
Eventually, the car stopped and the officer in the passenger seat came around to open Sunset's door and offer his hand. He was a short pudgy young man with snow white hair sitting atop dark ash colored skin, his hair formed into a wild mohawk that leaned down between his dark teal colored eyes. He seemed a little dim witted, but not on the same level as Derpy or Sonata Dusk.
He looked at her with confusion when she didn't take his hand, prompting her to finally do more than observe the world around her and react with it.
She took his hand and stepped out of the vehicle. He and his partner, a woman just older than Sunset with reddish dark purple skin, slightly brighter hair in a wild and unkempt style, and brighter sapphire eyes than her partner that shined with a professionalism that marked her as the senior between them, both spoke to her while beckoning towards her apartment...she didn't understand a word of it as she walked towards her home.
She heard Aries' voice, perhaps apologizing for her absentmindedness, or explaining some danger or other regarding the threat they faced, Sunset didn't understand it...she didn't understand anything...except that Rainbow Dash was dead.
She opened the door to her apartment building. Climbed the steps to her room and went inside. And then...nothing. She stood in the middle of her living room and did nothing, staring at nothing in particular as the same truth, the one thing she understood, held her in place and crushed her mercilessly.
Rainbow Dash was dead, the words drilled themselves into her mind and refused to let her process their meaning. Sunset's eyes slowly observed her surroundings, familiar as home and as alien as a Craftworld at the same time, but she couldn't understand why. Nothing had changed, nothing was out of place.
Her dirty clothes hamper was still half full, her dishes were still filled with days old water after she realized she was going to be late for her graduation ceremony, her favorite book was still left on it's side in front of the neat row of books on the middle row of her book shelf, and her pictures...
Her eyes locked onto a picture of her and Rainbow Dash, one of six with her and each of her friends surrounding a picture with all seven of them together.
Sunset numbly walked over to the picture and held it in her hands. She and Rainbow Dash were doing the Fortnite Dance. She had never wanted to do anything that ridiculous and fought valiantly to convince Rainbow to do something different, but in the end her confident friend had convinced her that "We can make anything look awesome."
And so there they were, cemented in irrefutable evidence that all the confidence in the world couldn't make that dance any less ridiculous. And yet, as horrified as Sunset was when she saw the photo, Rainbow Dash had been convinced that it was the coolest photo of her in existence.
Sunset smiled as she stared into her friend's confident eyes...and then the crushing truth came back...and Sunset realized exactly what had changed. Rainbow Dash was dead...and Sunset Shimmer would never see her again.
Tears fell onto the picture as Sunset lost the strength to stand and brought the picture close to her heart as she fell onto her side and was devoured by her grief.
She was not stirred from her grief until she felt a hand upon her. The sudden contact shocked her into awareness and she feared she was being attacked, but her fear turned to relief and then back to sorrow when she looked into the tear-blinded eyes of both Twilight Sparkles.
She lunged at them. Clinging fiercely to the comfort her living friends provided as her silent weeping now returned as wails of the truest agony.
The two Twilights wept with her, the sound drowned out by Sunset's own cries. Yet, she knew of the pain as their bodies pulsed and twitched upon hers. The warmth they provided granting but the briefest balm to her heart.
Aries stared at the door to Sunset's apartment building, he knew he should be in there to watch over her. In fact, he should've been inside before the Twilights showed up. Yet, the grief he felt from Sunset Shimmer had poisoned him in a manner he never thought possible: her grief gave birth to his own, the loss of her close friend reminding him of all that lost.
Jerrik, Eron Karr, Captain Ehrlen, and many others. He had sworn to avenge them, and he focused on that goal for he knew it's what they would've wanted. Wasting time shedding tears is not how the World Eaters honor their dead.
Yet, he was not a World Eater any longer, and neither was he transhuman at the moment, he was human...and his human heart felt as if it were being crushed by a power fist.
"...Are you too weak to be human Mon'Keigh?" Krae'Nakh mused as he stepped from the shadows.
Aries turned to the voice of the thrice damned Eldar with a snarl. "What would you know of being human Alien?"
"Less than the Ponies. But perhaps, more than yourself." The Death Jester grinned the closed lipped smile of a serpent.
Aries' hand went to his backpack. "Present a purpose to your presence, or vanish."
"Very well, I am here to tell you to stop being afraid to mourn. It hinders you more than the mourning itself." Krae'Nakh explained with a wave of his hand.
Aries didn't react for a moment, then he removed his hand from the pack. "Also, you may want to find an actual holster for your gun." The alien added while pulling his coat back to reveal a rifle with a folded stock hidden within easy reach.
"...you're saying that I should join them? Fall to my knees and weep amongst teenagers for the loss of my brothers, brothers who would disown me for such a humiliating display?" Aries inquired.
"We all mourn in our own ways. Some weep, some rage, some join causes they don't believe in to accomplish a goal they know is impossible because they can't bear to live without the one they lost. But it is not only what you feel for your brothers that impedes you. Your father's Empathy is a powerful tool...one you should learn how to wield it." The Death Jester stated.
Aries eyed the Eldar warily, he had a feeling that last description described the creature's own reason for bearing the Element of Laughter, but that wasn't important at the moment. "...I have no patience for your riddles. You want me to mourn my brothers? You want me to use Angron's power? To what end Eldar!?"
"You humans always boast that you are stronger together, prove it. Go to that girl and take her suffering unto herself. And when you have mustered up the courage to face your own grief, return the amulet that officer gave you so she can take your grief unto her self. Mourn together and heal together, teach her how an Astartes honors the dead and stop foolishly shouldering your own burdens. Yes, your brothers mocked you for your humanity and forced you to carry your burdens alone. Do you really think they would do the same?" The Death Jester inquired.
Aries did not reply, not verbally. He took the orange amulet from his pocket, inspected it as though it would have answers, and then headed into the apartment building.
His head and chest felt as though his organs were trying to flee from him. He could hear Eron's mocking voice. Hell, even Jerrik didn't shy away from telling him that he didn't fit in...though he was far more grateful.
The more he thought about it, the more he realized that despite inheriting Rainbow Dash's Element, he played a role more similar to Fluttershy among his own kind. He couldn't prevent a smile and a chuckle at the thought.
He had climbed to the third floor lost in thought before he realized that he didn't actually know which room belonged to Sunset Shimmer. He looked around in confusion for a moment, fearing that he would actually have to ask the damned Eldar for directions.
No! If nothing else, I can ask one of the people living here. Aries thought to himself as he considered choosing a door at random.
Such did not prove necessary. Aries heard a faint wailing from one of the rooms nearby. He went to the door and opened it without knocking. Sure enough, the two Twilights and Sunset Shimmer were kneeling on the floor weeping into each others arms. Their throats were rasp and their cries barely a sniffle, and yet Aries did not need to touch them to know they were not close to fully healed.
One of the Twilights, the Princess, noticed the War Hound as he approached and rose from the pile to address him. "A-Aries, we-I know that we're wasting t-time, I jus-she can't- she's not ready, she's in pain...we all are."
"I know, I am here to help." Aries replied and showed the amulet in his hand. "Let me see her."
Twilight seemed confused, but moved aside for him nonetheless.
Aries went to Sunset, the other Twilight noticed him and moved aside as he knelt beside the grief stricken girl. Sunset reacted more to the loss of warmth than anything...until Aries laid his hand upon her.
A sharp inhale finally drew Sunset's attention to Aries. Tears flowed down the War Hound's face as he opened himself to Sunset's grief...and his own. "...I...I understand this pain...I endured it when my brothers died on Istvaan III...and I shouldered that burden alone."
Aries lifted a trembling hand, revealing Sunset's geode. "But you are not alone...I will help you shoulder this burden...if you will help me...shoulder mine. "
Sunset's mind was beginning to clear, she realized that that's because Angron's Empathy ability was stronger than her own. Aries wasn't just feeling her pain, he was literally taking it as his own.
Sunset reached out and touched her geode. The minute she did, Aries became an open book to her.
She met Jerrik, and fought numerous honor duels in his name. She met Eron Karr, and was just as annoyed by his insistence that she belonged with the Salamanders as he was every time she saved his worthless hide from an ambush so obvious, a child wouldn't fall for it.
Then she met Captain Erlhen, she knew very little about him from Galaxy In Flames, but from Aries' eyes, she learned that despite his ferocity, he understood the importance of caution in battle and saw Aries and those like him as an impeccable advantage afforded to his Company.
She met them all, learned to cherish them...and then lost them.
There is a grave difference between reading Galaxy In Flames and standing in the midst of the bloody melee between the traitorous and loyalist elements of the World Eaters Legion. Blood and bodies were everywhere, and Aries found it harder and harder to lay down covering fire...and then it happened.
Jerrik went down. Aries watched his closest friend die. He immediately mowed down his killers in fit of rage that costed him the last of his ammunition.
He casted his bolter aside and drew his chainsword, charging into the fray. A call to retreat came over the vox from Shabran Darr, but Aries ignored it. He demanded blood.
Sunset felt something odd as Aries crashed into the enemy lines. A primal pleasure. She knew from her time as a villain that being cruel to others could be fun, but this was...better. It felt almost ecstatic. It took Sunset Shimmer a while to understand that she was under the influence of the Butcher's Nails secondary effect: releasing endorphins directly into the brain when a World Eater is in the heat of battle...Aries was using these endorphins as a distraction from his grief. Like drowning your sorrows in alcohol.
Sunset didn't even notice when Aries had started fighting Daemons, it was just too intoxicating to think. And yet, Aries kept one thought firm in his mind: Loyalty.
While he had charged into his death to drown out his grief, he somehow managed to retain enough sense of self that when the Daemons materialized a Guardsman in front of him, Aries stayed his blade despite his rage.
It hurt, Sunset felt every bit of his pain. Both, the usual unpleasant sensation that comes from restraining an outburst, and added agony of the Butcher's Nails demanding that Aries resume the slaughter.
That Guardsman turned out to be an illusion, but some that followed were true captives.
Aries would try to rally any Imperial that was thrown in his path. Some would fight beside him for a time, most were cut down instantly. And so Aries fought alone for ten thousand years.
Then the Blood God Khorne cast Aries into Equestria to slaughter in His name. Again, Aries refused. And again, Aries believed it was only a matter of time before these temporary allies were torn asunder and Aries fought alone once more...yet it was not to be.
Sunset watched with horror and pride as her homeland pushed back against the darkness, as Equestria earned Aries' trust and friendship, and as Aries met with both the Spirit of Harmony and the Emperor of Mankind...the latter of whom seemed aware of Sunset, though He did not acknowledge her.
The memories came full circle as Sunset found herself staring at her own body. Certain that killing her was the right thing to do...until Aries discovered a means to save her.
She saw the brief intervention of Rainbow Dash, the fight to free herself from the machinations of Chaos, and then...Rainbow Dash's death.
Aries took it very differently than Sunset. He was filled with resolve to ensure that Rainbow Dash was the only victim of Sindri's forces...until he touched Sunset and felt her grief...and realized that he had felt it before.
Now, there was no immediate enemy to fight, no Butcher's Nails to drown out his sorrow, and not even his transhuman biology to push his grief to the back of his mind. He had needed to process it like a normal person, and realize that he missed them...and the only one he may see again is Eron Karr...if he were a traitor.
But with Aries' grief, Sunset also felt his resolve. He would honor their memory, and he would fight in the Emperor's name until his last dying breath...as they would've wanted.
Aries and Sunset removed their hands from one another. Both Twilights stood to the side with concerned and curious expressions as Aries spoke. "Rainbow Dash meant a lot to you. She is a lot like Eron...in a way."
"I'm sorry that you have to doubt his loyalty. I wish I could find evidence to prove he wasn't a traitor but...I've never heard of him." Sunset stated.
"It matters not. Until I see him before me with the thrice damned mark of Khorne carved into his armor and flesh, I will remember him as he was, and honor that memory until my last dying breath." Aries proclaimed.
"Yeah, that's what all of us should do. Geez, I can't imagine how mad Rainbow Dash would be if she knew we were wasting time instead of tracking down Sindri's goons." Sunset laughed sheepishly to herself.
The human Twilight shared her grim amusement. "Heh, she'd probably just chalk it up to how awesome she was."
"Yeah, she would...whoever did this is gonna pay." Sunset said with a stoic expression.
"Agreed. Blood for blood, pain for pain, we will have our vengeance."Aries vowed.
"Hm...you know there were a few Sons of Horus loyalists who survived Istvaan III." Sunset said, confusing Aries for a moment. "I...fail to see the relevance."
"Because Pre-Heresy Sons of Horus had a mantra that I feel is appropriate for the situation." Sunset explained.
Aries understood her meaning now, for he was familiar with these words. "Live for the dead. Kill for the living."
Author's Note
Oy vey, three weeks solid, and this is all I could come up with.
The interference of the police just make sense, but I almost just said 'they never appeared in the actual show' and skipped it. But I wanted to go that extra mile.
I wish I could say I spent all this time on my original novel, but no. I was just doing fuckall.
I haven't written anything in my original story since posting Chapter 4 of this one, and I've finally found out the reason...I'm an attention whore: I've grown addicted to the responses of my readers.
But, I found a way out. I short while ago, I was reading a fanfic that struck me as...odd. The characters were all OOC to the point that only their names marked them as mlp characters.
I questioned the author, and it turns out that he was doing this deliberately so that he could write an original novel on this site and receive feedback...so I've decided to do the same.
I'm going to upload what I've written thus far onto this site while changing the names of all but my two main characters (the other names were place holders anyway) into those of mlp characters.
I want everyone who decides to check this new story to be as merciless as possible when criticizing it. I want to dominate every typo and every pothole before this thing ever gets printed.
With all of that out of the way, I'll see you all next time.
The Grimdark 6 Vol Three: Dark Humor
Two Days Later
Autumn Blaze fought to keep her Nirik form active as her anger faded. She may have been powerful as a Nirik, but such a kind soul could only channel anger for so long before becoming apathetic.
She looked upon the wall of blue and pink flames she erected to buy some time, not too surprised when her opponent walked through it.
The Chaos Space Marine stared her down with purple lenses, it's idling chainsword seeming to growl in hunger as it hung loosely in the monster's hand. Skulls of creatures the young Kirin had never seen adorned it's dark blue armor, and flayed skin bearing a Pony's Cutie Mark was nailed onto his right shin.
The monster did not speak, nor did it attack, it simply waited to see what futile effort it's latest victim would throw at it.
Autumn summoned her rage, ignoring the fear and shame that would come with defeat. She couldn't lose, she wouldn't lose. With a scream of defiance, the Nirik unleashed a concentrated inferno that struck the Warp-tainted curiass of her foe with enough force to drive him backwards.
The Astartes carved trenches into the earth with its feet as it fought to retain its balance, squatting and shifting its body to take the inferno onto its pauldron. The shoulder redirected the flow of flames away from the heretic and allowed it to slowly advance.
If Autumn Blaze had been focusing on her opponent, she could've redirected her stream of fire to the enemy's head. But alas the drawback to drawing power from anger is losing control.
Oh, she could focus her anger onto a single target to avoid lashing out at unrelated bystanders, but she couldn't strategize how to win beyond empowering herself enough to rival an Astartes. If she turned her focus away from her anger, her flames would lose their potency and be ineffective, even when striking the enemy's weakpoint.
Her only hope was that her rage burned hot enough to destroy the monster. And so she focused on all he had killed, all he would kill, on every single living thing just trying to live their lives in peace and pursue their innocent dreams and ambitions without harming anyone. The fact that this monster would slaughter them all if Autumn didn't stop him was the only thing she focused on.
She screamed in outrage and fury that this monster forced her to dig so deep, her flames burning hotter and shooting from her throat in greater force. Only the greatest of Dragons could match a furious Nirik's fire. The greatest of Dragons...and the Emperor's chosen.
A ceramite clad hand grabbed the Nirik's throat and squeezed. Shock and fear snuffing her flames instantly and changing her back into a Kirin as she sought to make sense of what was happening.
The Astartes lifted her up to look her in the eyes. As he did, Autumn Blaze looked upon his armor to survey the damage. His pauldron had barely held. The ceramite was cracked and losing fragments, but it was far from enough. "I...I failed."
"As I suspected..." The Chaos Space Marine began as it lowered the Kirin and disappeared in a flash of purple flames.
"...even the strongest Nirik fire isn't good enough to burn through Space Marine armor." Pharynx concluded, barely paying any attention to the 2nd degree burn on his shoulder.
Autumn's ears hung by her head as she processed all this. "...I guess we're not going to be much help, huh."
Pharynx snickered. "Don't be ridiculous. You can still use the Equestrian Defenders, and Nirik flames will work wonders against Chaos Cultists or Ork invaders. Just because Greenskin is on our side doesn't mean the next Ork will be."
The young Kirin nodded solemnly. The Changeling was right, but it was still a shock. The Kirin had once used a magical stream to remove their emotions for fear of their destructive power, to realize that power wouldn't be enough to defeat the forces of Chaos was a culture shock to say the least.
"...Don't worry about it. We're strong enough together." Came a new voice, alerting the training warriors to the arrival of Freedom Fighter.
"How are they doing?" Pharynx asked the large armored colt.
"The Kirin are still getting the hang of it, but I think we'll be ready in a few more days." Freedom replied. They were of course referring to the formation drills. The ideal defensive formation consisted of armored Yaks at the front of the group in a spearhead formation with Dragons and Griffins right behind them armed with Equestrian Defenders. Behind them would a group of 3-7 Unicorns and Changelings(depending on the size of the formation) who would supply magical shields before testing the Yaks' enchanted armor.
These formations would be divided between the first and final defensive lines, as they were the most powerful. Other lines would be better entrenched in order to compensate for the lack of heavy armor, and would feature heavier firepower...including Dazzling Light's latest weapon of war.
Cloudsdale may have been destroyed by the Dark Eldar two years ago, but in those two years the city of Las Pegasus had changed from a vacation resort to the new capital city of the Pegasai, and featured it's own Weather Factory. A fact that the Fireworks crafter turned Gunsmith was absolutely delighted to discover.
Prior to the invasion of the Dark Eldar, Dazzling Light had an idea to utilize weather manipulation in order to create a short range artillery weapon. Two years later, the idea had manifested in the form of the Cloudsdale Cannon. Far different from Pinkie Pie's Party Cannons, this weapon fired a glass orb containing a thundercloud into the sky and down upon the enemy force. Members of the Mirror Dimension would've compared it more to a mortar than to a cannon, but Equestria new nothing of mortars, and so the name remained.
"Perfect! At this rate even a Greater Daemon won't be enough to take us down." Pharynx chuckled.
"Not one anyway. There's no preparing for the sheer absurdity of Chaos and it's forces." Freedom reminded him.
"Hey, who's the veteran here kid?" Pharynx asked him.
"Heh." Freedom smirked at the compliment, but his focus was elsewhere.
"Hey." Pharynx called to get his attention. "He's fine. He'll be back before you know it."
"Yeah...I know." Freedom sighed, wondering to himself how powerful the enemy must be to hold Aries and the Element Bearers in another dimension for so long.
In the two days since the human Rainbow Dash's death, Sunset Shimmer's resolve compelled the humans and Equestrians around her to spread the Magic of Friendship to her world. She would have to leave this to her friends until her would be assassins were dealt with, but that didn't stop from doing what she can in hiding with Aries and the two police officers guarding her.
The first step was simple: copy Twilight's journal, change every mention of 'ponies' to 'people' and spread it far and wide.
The Pinkies took the Lion's share of the books on their next 'vacation', while the rest attended a county fair.
The Twilights would attend a booth with the books, while their friends would spread the book to all who would read it throughout their own activities.
"Ya brought it on yerself ya git." Greenskin snarled to the rattling animal kennel she had stuffed Hooknose into before returning to help Fluttershy tend to the petting zoo.
Most humies would freak out at there suddenly being two of everyone, but with the humie Rainbow Dash's death, most of the other humies didn't feel like running small businesses anyway. So the humie Fluttershy stayed in the back where she could help if she was needed.
Fortunately, the fact that Equestrian Fluttershy was an adult, and familiar with creatures the likes of Manticores, Bugbears, and even Cerberus itself meant that her teenage humie counterpart could stay in the back with her head in her arms.
"...is you sure yer okay?" Greenskin as her as she passed her.
"...No. But Sindri isn't going to wait." Fluttershy sighed.
Greenskin didn't know how to respond. The differences between humie mobs and Ork mobs were staggering, and Greenskin himself never had a mob, so he simply lowered his head, gently squeezed the young human's shoulder and went back to the front where Equestrian was overseeing a Pony ride.
Fluttershy watched her go, trying to think about something else, anything else, when there was suddenly a loud crash further back.
Fluttershy shot up immediately. Her first thought was that Hooknose had gotten lose again, but then she saw someone sprinting towards her: Aria Blaze, covered in blood.
Panic shot through Fluttershy, and she tried to scream, but Aria closed the gap first and put a hand over her mouth. "Shhh! Your green friend isn't going to hear me out and I need your help! You were right about them, okay!"
Fluttershy took in the situation, as well as the panic and urgency in the rogue siren, and nodded her head as she calmed down. Aria's hand came away with a relieved sigh. "Thank you. Thank you! I thought I was done for."
"It's okay Aria. I'll tell the others that you were betrayed. We won't let Greenskin hur-" Aria cut her off. "There's no time! I didn't escape alone, and my friend was badly hurt while helping me escape! She took a hit that was meant for me and I-I can't stop the bleeding!"
Fluttershy understood immediately. "I'll get my other self an-yeep!" Before Fluttershy could respond, Aria was pulling her by the arm through the barn where the animals were kept and out the Employees Entrance she had come in from.
A sharp icy pang of fear told Fluttershy she needed to call for help, but Aria was just trying to save her friend's life. And if Greenskin heard Fluttershy shouting, she'd rip Aria's head off.
Luckily, a juvenile life of being pulled around by Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie gave Fluttershy some experience in this sort of thing. Allowing her to pull out her phone and text the emergency phone she had given to her other self as Aria pulled her into an alley way where another figure was slumped against the wall clutching their side.
At the sight of someone in need, Fluttershy rushed ahead of Aria. She knelt down and gently removed the hooded figure's hand to see his wound.
There wasn't one. The person's clothes were covered in blood or thick syrup. Confusion dazed Fluttershy for half a second before the terrifying realization set in.
The other Chaos Cultist seized the young girl's wrists. She tried to scream, but Aria covered her mouth. "Works every time. Idiots like you are the easiest ones to isolate from their little herds."
Fluttershy tried to drive her elbows into the siren's stomach, but the other Cultist held her firm while Aria pulled out a knife and raised it over her head. "Two down. Four to go."
"Hmm?" Fluttershy said to herself when an audible 'ping' sounded from the device in her pocket. She pulled it out and read a hastily typed message from her other self.
spmeone in rrouble. Went 2 help out bsck.
"Oh dear, why did she- Greenskin, I need you to go out the back entrance to find my other self. She says someone needs help." Fluttershy asked the Orkette.
Greenskin, just staring at kids riding actual Ponies with nothing else to do, shot right up.
Going into the back, a cold feeling crept up the Orks humie spine. Someone had come in here in a hurry and knocked over Hooknose's kennel.
Greenskin ran over and grabbed the small cage, and sure enough, the Snot Dog was gone. And the back door was wide open.
"Oh Zogg!" Greenskin shouted as she ran after him.
All thoughts of helping Fluttershy's humie double went out the window. Greenskin ran in a straight line trying to find any sign of the bite happy Snotling before-
KYAAAAAAAAAA!!!! "OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!" Greenskin ran with all the speed her black studded boots could manage... which by Ork and humie logic wasn't very much.
Greenskin came to an alley that echoed with angry shouts and beastly snarls. But when she turned into the alley, she saw something very different from what she expected.
Hooknose had bitten into someone alright, but it was the Dazzlin' Git. And she was holding a knife while someone else was holding Fluttershy!
All concern for the Snotling went to the Squig pens as Greenskin reached for something on her waist. Fluttershy hadn't let him carry it in public during their first encounter with the Dazzlinz, but her opinion changed after the humie Rainbow Dash was killed. It came into this world as an Ork Big Choppa, but the mirror transformed it into what the late humie Rainbow Dash described as a 'Tacticool Tomahawk'.
"WAAAGH!" Greenskin shouted as she ran full tilt at Aria with the intent to split her head open. But even with a Snotling chewing on her calf, she managed to duck Greenskin's overhead chop.
The Dazzlin' tried to stab Greenskin while the other Git kept holding Fluttershy, but Greenskin tagged her in the temple with the butt of the ax and went to swing again.
Finally, the other Git realized Aria wasn't going to handle this on her own and shoved Fluttershy into Greenskin, who fell right onto Hooknose, dislodging him from Aria's leg.
"We should've just used this from the start." The other Git, a girl by her voice, hissed as she pulled out a pistol and leveled it at the Orkette.
Greenskin didn't have time to throw the ax properly, and so opted for a thrusting throw which, by the grace of Gork and Mork, landed the top of the ax blade just under the gun and into the other Git's fingers.
The other Git didn't drop the gun, but she did cry out and stagger while Fluttershy removed herself from the Ork. Who then shot up and tackled the Git with a gun and bit into her gunhand.
The other Git gave a shrill scream and tried to grab the gun with her other hand, but Greenskin seized her wrist with her right arm and used her left to start pummeling the Git.
Blood dropped from Greenskin's mouth as the thrill of a propa fight took him. Greenskin wrenched and pulled to tear free a chunk of the Git's hand. Only to finally realize that one of the terrified screams wasn't coming from the Git!
Da Dazzlin'! FLUDDASHOY!!! Greenskin remembered before doing something completely reckless. With one last punch, Greenskin brought both hands away from the Git and tried to snatch her gun.
As she pulled, she put her eyes on the rest of the fight. Aria was on top of Fluttershy, Fluttershy was trying to keep the knife from skewering her, and Hooknose.
... Hooknose was laying on the pavement. Blood pooling from his neck. He wasn't the best Snot, he wasn't a good Snot...but he was Greenskin's Snot.
As he processed the battlefield, Greenskin wrenched the gun free and righted it in her hands and fired at the Dazzlin'. An Ork's accuracy in a small teen's body saved Aria's life the first two times. The third shot winged her, but the other Git grabbed Greenskin's wrists before he could shoot again.
Greenskin headbutted the offender, knocking her to the ground, and put two boolitz through her face before turning back Aria.
The Dazzlin' legged it. There was a blood trail Greenskin could follow, but Fluttershy had a cut on her neck and Greenskin wasn't a Dok.
"Call da Boss! We needz ta stop da leekin'! Dey ain't takin' you too." Greenskin said as he came over. Once he saw Fluttershy pull out her voicy box, she went over and put a gentle hand on Hooknose. "Good Snot."
Author's Note
I! HAVE! RETUUUUUUURNED!!!!
I'll bet you all thought this story was dead. I did for a minute. But I'm happy to tell you all it's back.
Now, some of all know I've started a new fic called Ahriman's Answer(Harmony cures the Rubric) and I'm not stopping that. In fact, I'm probably gonna drop a new chapter of that before anything else.
I'm also currently cutting my way through the next chapter of the Lion's Heresy(With Ponies) hopefully I'll have that up before next year.
All in all, I got my groove back...sort of. Shit is still chaotic in my life right now and things could change at the drop of a hat, but for the foreseeable future, I know where I'm going with this now.
Regarding the chapter itself, veteran readers will recognize half of it(the good half) as the last chapter I wrote before I petered out, I got the pacing a little bit better this time. I'm still going to get us back to Equestria relatively quickly, but not jarringly so.
And if Greenskin didn't like Aria before, he definitely don't like her now. I honestly didn't know what I was doing with Hooknose going in. I wanted to do a Grot, but I know the Ork lifecycle does Snotlings first, then Squigs, then Grots.
I honestly should've just went through that during the time skip, but hindsight's 20/20. And rather just erasing the Snot, I decided to let him go out like a Boss. He finally got to bite something, and he EG Fluttershy's life. Not bad for a Snotling.
That's all I got for this one, I'll see you all in the next one.
The Grimdark 6 Vol Three: Dark Humor
Two hours had passed since the human Fluttershy was injured by the Chaos Cultist Aria Blaze. Determined to prevent another assassination, Aries and the others made all haste to her location.
The hospital was too risky, and still under repair from the missile launcher attack two days prior, so Detective Neighsay arranged for her to be treated in the police station.
Aries breathed a sigh of relief when he learned the Federal Agents were following Aria Blaze's blood trail. And thus were not yet able to interrogate him...for now.
Now, Aries, Greenskin, Krae'nakh, the Ponies and their counterparts, minus the two Pinkies, were simply waiting in the police station for Fluttershy to come through...or not.
"Zoggin Dazzlin'. I'll Ave her ead fer dis I will." Greenskin snarled to himself while gripping the bloodstained collar of his departed Snotling.
"Get in line there missy, I'm gonna take a piece of'em fer Rainbow Dash." The human Applejack commented.
"We will be taking nothing if we cannot find them." Aries declared as he approached them.
Greenskin put a finger to her cheek, and Aries had to mentally shout at his juvenile hormones that the cute puzzled girl before him was a foul Alien brute with a very masculine true form. "Hmm, well da uvva Fluddashoy said sumfin about dem bein aftah six Gitz in total." The Orkette replied.
"Six?" Aries asked. "Yeh, Da Dazzlin' said 'too down, foor ta go' when she tried ta krump Fluddashoy." Greenskin clarified.
Aries pondered this. Sunset Shimmer and Twilight's group consisted of seven individuals. Eight if you included Spike the dog. If they were only targeting six, then this wasn't an attempt to remove their opposition...it was a sacrifice.
"The enemy is sacrificing this world's Element Bearers. They must be trying to summon Sindri's physical body into this world." Aries hypothesized.
"And they're planning to use me as the main sacrifice. Makes sense, my powers are the closest thing to a Psyker's perception of the Warp in this world." Sunset hissed while tightening her grip on her arms.
"So they're targeting...us." The human Rarity paled. "...Wuh- well, maybe we should stay here. In police custody."
"It would be better to escort the five of you to the portal to Equestria. You may return to your own world once the enemy has been annihilated." Aries suggested.
"...Four." Whispered an almost unrecognizable voice. The group of teens turned to the only door in the room and beheld a single Pinkie Pie, one with straight hair and grey skin.
Panicked stares of horrible realization swallowed the four true humans in the room. "Wuh...which one are..." The human Twilight couldn't finish the question. Everyone already knew the answer.
The grey Pinkie grabbed her face and pulled, her unnatural body stretching like taffy until she let go and it snapped briefly into the shape of her equine face before the pronounced muzzle melted back into a human face.
The human Twilight cupped her mouth and stepped back in shock, the human Rarity fell to her knees and started to cry, and the human Applejack refused to accept it. "No! Bu-but HOW!? Y'ALL WERE GOOFIN' OFF IN ANOTHER COUNTRY LIKE YA ALWAYS WE-"
GOOFING OFF!?? The abrupt shout from Pinkie Pie stole the room's attention. "DID YOU REALLY THINK WE LEFT RAINBOW DASH TO DIE SO WE COULD EAT KOREAN FOOD!!? NO! WAIT! I GOT A BETTER QUESTION!! DID ANY OF YOU ACTUALLY THINK A DAEMON PRINCE FROM THE ALPHA LEGION ONLY HAD ONE CULT ON THE ENTIRE PLANET!?"
Pinkie Pie took a breath and held up a closed fist and began opening her fingers one by one. "Vladimir Putin, Kim Jeong Un, ISIS, The Houthi Rebels. Certain Fanfic writers might not know what's going on inside their heads in his world. But do you know who caused them all here? SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNDDDRRRIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!"
Pinkie Pie took a few deep breaths and then analyzed the room. "... I'm sorry guys. I know you're all used to me doing crazy things that don't actually help us with things like this, but the truth is I want to. I want to just magically stop the bad guys before anyone else gets hurt, but I can't. "
"Why not?" Aries asked.
Pinkie Pie locked eyes with the Astartes. Aries realized that her eyes still held their natural color, a deep icy blue that burned with a furious hatred for her predicament. "I can break normal physics all day every day without a care in the world. But I can't break my physics anymore than you can."
Krae'nakh snickered to himself. And as fast as lightning, Pinkie Pie turned her full attention towards the Death Jester. "... You think this is funny... YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY!?"
"Hehehehe, you take the Galaxy's cruelty too personally. You must learn to-" Whatever cryptic madness the Eldar intended to deliver was interrupted when Pinkie Pie, without Aries seeing her move, seized the Alien turned Emo kid by his jacket and slammed their heads together. "NO! YOU NEED TO LEARN!! THE ELEMENT OF LAUGHTER THAT HARMONY GAVE YOU IS ABOUT SPREADING AS MUCH JOY AND HAPPINESS AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN TO AS MANY CREATURES AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN!!! I KNOW THAT WE NEED TO TO PUSH THROUGH YOUR PRECIOUS 'GRIM DARKNESS' IF WE'RE GONNA SAVE THE GALAXY!! I KNOW THAT EVERY BAD THING THAT HAPPENS HERE WILL HELP US OUT IN THE LONG RUN!!! BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I HAVE TO LAUGH AT THE FACT THAT I KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE IN THIS ROOM ARE GOING TO DIE AND THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO TO SAVE THEM!!!"
A dead silence gripped the room. Pinkie Pie had shaken the Eldar during the final sentence and slammed his head repeatedly into the wall. Blood stained the the holes in the wall as Krae'nakh gripped the back of his head, and yet he continued to laugh. "Sorry that my jokes and jests are not to your liking, but I'm afraid dark humor is all I know."
Pinkie Pie wrinkled her nose in disgust. "You can tell the funniest, most well thought out and put together joke the universe has ever heard, but if your audience doesn't laugh? You're. Not. Funny."
"Hehehehe, well then, it appears neither of us are comedians tonight." Krae'nakh stated.
Pinkie Pie froze up, realizing what she had just said out loud. She turned away from the laughing Eldar and beheld her friends staring at her in horror, none more so than the surviving humans.
They knew. One look into their eyes was all Pinkie Pie needed. They knew their roles to play.
Pinkie vanished. There was no comical pop, no blur of motion as she ran out of the room faster than the eye could see, the pink party pony had simply vanished into thin air.
"Wuh- where'd she go!??" Rainbow Dash asked.
No one answered her. They all just attempted to process what Pinkie Pie had unwittingly revealed.
Pinkie Pie was on the roof of the Police Station, curled into a ball and crying into herself, trying to regain control of her emotions.
She noticed Krae'Nakh ascend to the roof, but didn't acknowledge him. The Death Jester sat down beside the crying girl, and waited. "... I'm afraid I don't know how to cheer someone up. Could you at least give me a pointer."
Pinkie emitted an exasperated sigh. "You could say something hopeful, or happy, or something that would make me laugh."
Krae'Nakh held his chin in thought, pondering how he could accomplish such a difficult task. Hmm, I suppose I know one hopeful joke."
Pinkie side eyed the Eldar as he cleared his throat. "So, this one time in Commoragh-" "If this is about the Tau Ethereal who wouldn't leave his Fire Warriors behind and they all got tortured together, I already know that one." Pinkie interrupted.
Krae'Nakh snorted. "That's one of my favorites, but no. This one's about a Wych and an Incubus."
Pinkie narrowed her side eye. "If this ends horribly, I'm throwing you off the roof."
Krae'Nakh laughed at the notion and continued. "Well, as I'm sure you know. Wyches and Incubi look down on one another. Wyches drawing out they're prey's suffering while Incubi kill with efficiency. These two were no different at first, but since they worked with the same Cabal, they two centuries together. And in those two centuries, they did something that is considered taboo amongst the Drukhari...they fell in love."
Pinkie's side eye blinked as more of her face became visible. "Really?"
Krae'Nakh nodded. "Of course, the concept of love is seen as a weakness. So while they both loved each other, they were both convinced the other was manipulating their feelings."
Pinkie sighed in disappointment. "So, the punchline is they only realized the truth when one of them died horribly, right?"
"No, the punchline is that after the Wych sacrificed herself to save the Incubus, he became a Death Jester. Not because he truly believes in Ceogorach's schemes, but because he would rather die fighting for the Magic of Friendship, than leave her to She Who Thirsts." Krae'Nakh concluded.
Pinkie blinked, then looked Krae'Nakh eye to eye. "Well you get points for absurdity, but your backstory still isn't funny to me."
"Backstory? I'm not even in the same troupe as this guy." Krae'Nakh stated with a smile.
Pinkie's eyes shrank to pin pricks. "WHAT!?" Her head briefly disappeared from Krae'Nakh's vision before reappearing with a fresh scowl. "YOU LIAR!! THE AUTHOR'S NOTES CLEARLY STATE THAT'S YOUR REAL BACKSTORY!!"
"But it made you react, didn't it?" Krae'Nakh's smile widened as he shot finger guns at his audience, whom was overwhelmed by the absurdity of the action coming from an Eldar, and could no hold back.
"pffffHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!! Hooo. That was good. I mean it was a good first try, and it'll make me laugh. But keep in mind that I'm as easily entertained as an Ork." Pinkie stated as she caught her breath and sighed again. "Thanks for trying."
Krae'Nakh tilted his head to the side. "Trying? Are you not ready to rejoin the others?"
"I would be...but the plot's about to accelerate in three, two, one." On Pinkie's cue, an explosion was heard.
Author's Note
So, y'all remember how I was stated I was getting back into this fic and then didn't touch it for a freaking year!!! How's that for a joke?
I won't make any promises this time, but I have a much clearer idea how I want this to go.
And yes, that is Krae'Nakh's backstory. (Thank you Pinkie)
