Chapters Dear Diary, today has been a fairly normal day. I had school, got boba, hung out with friends, and finished my homework. So now I'm bored. You know what I do to deter boredom? Find a reason to go shopping for crafting supplies! Like seriously, I love arts and crafts! You know what, I'm gonna go do that right now! Thanks diary!
~ Donut
"Walmart is only about five minutes from home. Let's do this!" I decided. So in the car and to Walmart we go. I perused the aisles for a bit and found some cool patches and pins I could use to decorate my computer bag, so I got them. Then I found some cute stickers to add to the ever shrinking space on my laptop. I also went to the cosmetics section and got some brown eyeliner and dewy coconut setting spray (It smells really nice). Suddenly, there I saw it. The best thing ever, the best thing you could even imagine it was great it was...
A doughnut pop socket
At the register: $90
I will be broke before I leave the store... #brokecollegestudentlife
Just before I left the store I saw a book lying on the ground. "The Book of Doughnuts," I read. I opened the book to see what it was about, but unfortunately it was empty...
"Insert story here," the first page prompted.
"Well, if you insist." I went to the register to buy this too, but they said there was no barcode and it didn't look like the book was sold here, so I can just have it. "Great! Gotta love free stuff!" So home I went.
~ Back at home now ~
I went to my room to start writing. Just as my pencil hit the page though, I was rudely interrupted by my sister asking if her shirt looked fine...
"Yes, it looks fine."
"Are you sur-"
"Of course I'm sure!!!"
"Ok."
Now, back to the strange book. I decided to write an MLP fanfiction. "I've always wondered what it'd be like if I inserted myself into the My Little Pony universe..." Writing begins.
It was just a another day. The sun was shining, the ponies were humming, and all was well... that is, until I showed up in the middle of Ponyville! Nopony knows where I came from, and I don't know how I got here, bu-
"Excuse me."
"OH MY FREAKING GOSH!!!!" (Is dying)
"Oh I'm sorry! I, um, was just wondering... what are you? What are you doing here?"
"Excuse me? Wh-what? How?..."
"Oh my goodness, um, this seems like a Twilight problem..."
"Twilight? Wait, am I really?... You're Fluttershy."
"Yes, but I don't know your name..."
"Why do I think you should be freaking out more?"
"Honestly, so many crazy things happen here and get resolved in about twenty-two minutes, not much surprises me anymore... except surprise parties... and jump scares... and sudden appearances... and Rainbow Dash in the spa... huh, you're kind of right..."
"I wonder..."
Fluttershy, being the first to see me, is scared out of her mind and calls for Twilight at once.
"OH MY GOODNESS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???? TWILIIIIGGHHHT!!!!!" That's more like it.
"Huh, didn't think it'd be that effective... what else can I do?" ~~bring it in bring it in~~
As if things couldn't get weirder, Princess Celestia and Luna are notified by local security that there is a strange colorful bipedal creature in Ponyville. Celestia initially assumes that someone from the mirror portal came here... but then, how did they stay human? Actually, why wasn't it Twilight who reported this?
"Actually, what am I doing? Hold on."
Just when Twilight thought today would be a slow day, Fluttershy comes rushing in like she had seen a monster.
"Fluttershy? What are you doing here?" Twilight asked making sure there was no terrifying creature or new villain following her in.
"I saw a strange bipedal creature outside in Ponyville!" Fluttershy cried. "Is that one of the humans you were talking about from the portal?"
"I don't think so. If this human came through the portal, they should've turned into a pony..." Strange, Twilight thought. This seems like a mystery maybe Princess Celestia could answer what with all her years of experience...
So Twilight called Spike to send a letter to her mentor.
~ Dear Princess Celestia, A most unusual event has occurred. There is a human in Ponyville. I don't think they came through the portal, because then they'd be a pony or pegasus or unicorn. Has this ever happened before? If there is any way you could figure out what's going on here, that would be much appreciated.
Your faithful student and friend, Princess Twilight Sparkle ~
The letter was sent and now all we needed to do was wait for an answer.
Interesting that I am writing about a conversation I can't see happening... I wonder how it's going? I guess I'd better just write the rest or they may be standing in an awkward silence...
or...
As the lonely human known as Donut grows bored of waiting, she decides to go to Twilight's palace to explore. It didn't take long though for her to get lost...
Why did I just write myself into getting lost here?... Great, now I have to find my way through this maze of a palace! And they say IKEA is bad...
So I walked around for a bit. Couldn't help but notice how empty it was... "Hello? Anyo- er, anypony here? Dude, how long is it gonna take for Celestia to get here and Twilight to try and find me?" Then it hit me. I haven't written that part of the story. "This is gonna get annoying fast having to actually write the story to make things progress..."
Eventually, Donut found her way to the throne room where the map was. This also happened to be where Twilight was. Just as Donut had entered the room, Celestia arrived just in time to see Donut and ask-
"Who are you and what are you doing here?"
"oh, um... I'm Donut, Majestic Donut. But, you can just call me Donut. I have no idea how I got here. Well, scratch that, I kind of do know. You see, I started writing in this weird looking book and somehow ended up here sooo.... um, why are you not saying something about this right now?" The entire room was silent and almost creepily still. "um..." That's when I remembered how the magic of my book worked. "Riiight."
Celestia asked how I found the book, to which I said- "I found it on the floor at Walmart. Wait, you wouldn't know what that is. Shoot..."
"Walmart? Is that where you're from?"
"Uh, no. I live in (insert location here)."
"I see."
"I don't want to be one of those people (though I am), but, where's Luna?"
silence
Shoot, I've got to write that too? What am I supposed to say that she's asleep? Actually, of course she is. Why'd I even ask?
Celestia responds to the question explaining Luna is asleep this time of day. "But if you'd like a proper introduction-
"ABSOLUTELY!" Wait, this is very uncharacteristic of Celestia... Darn it. Does it have to be canon?........ nah.
Celestia teleports Luna to the palace and well… Luna reacts as you would expect
"WHAT THE FRICKIN HAY IS GOING ON HERE TIA I WAS- oh..."
"hi!" do not fangirl now please just get ahold of yourself! "Wow, it's really you!"
"And you are?"
"Donut"
"My sister's second favorite snack?"
"Um... no?"
the story halts again... this is super annoying hold on one second while I change the rules of the magic.
As Donut remembers she has a book that can shift the fabric of reality with a few words, she changes the rules of the magical book to let the story keep advancing within canon even if she isn't writing the story. Essentially, the story can write itself.
"Much better."
"What did you just do?" Luna asked
"Um, I just said I changed the rules of the book's magic."
"And where did you get this book again?"
"I am not about to explain it again okay just ask your sister."
"..."
"..."
"..." okay this is getting awkward. Twilight, Fluttershy?
Twilight interjects in the awkward silence. "So! Since no one can figure out what you're doing here or how any of this is happening, maybe we call on somepony else who knows a thing or two about mysterious spontaneous magic that can change the fabric of reality?"
"Maybe next chapter." I said.
"Next chapter? What in the hay?"
Author's Note
Hey guys! Hope you like this little one shot I did! I don't remember how I got this specific idea, but it's a culmination of multiple story ideas that I decided to group into this story cause it will make sense later. Give me a like if you're interested and hope y'all have a great day!
Insert Another Chapter Here
Twenty-three days later, Donut begins writing chapter two.
“Wait wait wait,” Twilight interrupted, “you mean to tell me we’ve been standing here for TWENTY-THREE DAYS???”
“Um, yes?”
“Why don’t we feel like it?”
“Well…”
Celestia was currently smiling one of two possible smiles right now:
1) I need to pee so bad right now but I’m too confused/interested in what’s happening right now.
Or
2) I stepped on a pickle…
We’ll go with the first option.
“…”
“Sooo, I guess we need to find out where this book came from?” I asked.
“Yes.” Twilight responded.
“I have a sneaking suspicion of who would make a book like this.” Luna said.
“Me too,” I say. “But there’s only one way to find out…
Suddenly, without warning, Discord appears. He doesn’t seem too happy about being spontaneously summoned by a book…
“Wha- Honestly. I love a surprising entrance as much as the next draqonicus, but I was in the middle of a shower.” Discord complained through chocolate milk dripping from his fur. He snapped his shower cap off and dried himself off with his towel and somehow ended up clean and not sticky… (don’t ask)
“So Discord, would you happen to know anything about this?” Celestia gestures to the book.
“Oh, that’s where that went! And look what it brought back! -gestures to me- Wow, you know when I made that book and sent it into a random dimension, I didn’t expect to actually get it back…” Discord mused.
“Wait a minute. You mean to tell me that you created a book that has the power to rewrite reality… and you sent it FAUST KNOWS WHERE and didn’t think it could be used for potential EVIL????” Prepare Twilight’s grave (or hair dye to hide the grey)
“I’m not evil! For right now…”
“What was that?”
“Nothing. I do have to wonder though, Discord, how did you make a book that can change reality?"
"Well, to be fair, it didn't initially have that ability..." Discord responded with some level of confusion.
"How is that possible?" Luna asked.
"When I made this book, it was a prank book for making fiction into reality. You know, things like making it rain cotton candy or making a super sized hot dog appear."
"What's a hot dog?" Twilight asked.
"Don't ask questions Twilight, you don't wanna know," I said. "However," I think for a minute, "that does give me a theory... You said this book gives its holder the ability to make fiction reality? Where I'm from, you guys are just a fictional TV show based around Twilight's friendship adventures and friends adventures (with far too few episodes about the royal sisters...). When I placed myself into the world of My Little Pony, I created an entire fictional world devoid of the rules it normally had... In other words, I can control this entire realm because my realm says it's fiction. Anything goes!"
"So, you have the power to completely control this world for good or evil?” Twilight asked.
“Why do you keep thinking I’ll be the villain of this story?! Not that there won’t inevitably be one…”
“…”
“Well, since we’ve already covered how the magic works, that you’re not a threat, and Discord makes stupid decisions… How about you (Discord) give her a tour of Equestria since it’s kind of your fault she’s even here?” Celestia interjected into the awkward silence.
“Oh, I don’t kno-“
“I’D LOVE THAT!!!” I shouted.
“… fine. A tour for the human.”
“Donut”
“I thought you were a human?”
“Um, no, my NAME is Donut. I’m not saying I AM a doughnut 😂”
“Okay, then. A TOUR FOR THE MAJESTIC DONUT!!!”
So we began by heading to Sugarcube Corner for some of Pinkie Pie’s famous cupcakes! They were ✨ divine ✨ and Pinkie reacted to me how you’d expect.
(To be read quickly and with a high energy voice)
“Pinkie please!!! We just want a cupcake.” Discord interrupted.
“I don’t know, I was just getting invested in this. Maybe we should visit human Pinkie sometime and have an epic Pinkie party!”
“Ooooh with balloons and cake and confetti cannons and all our friends!”
“ABSOLUTELY!!! And we’ll invite Luna and Celestia and the Principles can meet the Princesses and-“
“Wait, you know about the mirror and their world?” Discord asked.
“Um, yes… That world is also a part of a movie series and sub series called ‘Equestria Girls’. Meeting Sunset Shimmer would be cool.”
Shoot, I’m trailing off a bit. Back to cupcakes 🧁.
“But um, yeah, we’ll have two of your famous cupcakes please!”
After we enjoyed some ~~diabetes pills~~ cupcakes, I wasn’t sure what to do next. So I decided to leave that to the next chapter and wait for my readers to give me some ideas 😉
"Are you breaking the fourth wall Donut?" Discord and Pinkie asked
"But of course! 😏"
Author's Note
I seriously don’t know what to do now. The first chapter was a one shot, the second chapter was a one shot, and the third chapter will likely be the same thing! But I need YOUR help! If you have any ideas for events or shenanigans I could get into next chapter, please let me know! I need inspiration… Thank y’all so much for the likes, faves, and follows!
Insert Wild Goose Chase Here
~ The Annual Royal Swan Graduation ~
"... Yup, seems like the right event to me!" I said once I finished reading the flyer.
"Ugh, I think I'll pass, thank you very much..." Discord said with visible distaste.
"Alright, suit yourself!"
So off I went. (Sure, I did get the odd stare and "What is that thing?!" here and there, but nothing I couldn't ignore.)
Along the way, I saw a few ponies I recognized as "background characters" in the TV series. Lyra Heartstrings was sitting in a very "familiar to me" way while talking to Bon Bon about who knows what (probably the bug-bear debacle from a while back) while Derpy was delivering the mail as usual. I can't imagine how a pony with those crazy-crossed eyes is supposed to fly in a straight line, but oh well. If she gets the job done before the next villain shows up next week, that's fine.
When I got to the palace, I ran into some... problems...
"Halt! Invitation or noble status please." The royal guard shouted.
Oops. I don't have an invitation, so... "Um, if I told you I was the Duchess of Narnia hailing from Spare Oom, would you believe me and let me in?"
"... no."
"Dag nabbit... Um, I know Princess Twilight Sparkle!"
"Congratulations! Join the other 90 percent of Equestrians that know Twilight Sparkle. Now hit the road!" Nameless guard says as he points his spear at me.
"How rude. If only I could change your mind somehow
After a moment of consideration, however, the nameless royal guard decides to believe Donut after all and let her in to the ceremony.
"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry. Yes, I completely believe your unbelievable story and let you pass in to the Annual Royal Swan Graduation!" He says almost robotically.
"Thank you very kindly good sir. I'll be sure to let Mister Tumnus know of your kind heart 😊" I said in a terrible British/regency accent as I leave to enter the palace.
"bppbdmdmm, what just happened?"
Inside the palace, I now have to find my way to the gardens. Luckily, there seems to be a lot of stuffy looking ponies heading in the same general direction, so I'll just follow them.
"Why do they even do this? I mean, I guess if you like swans that much, sure. But still... too many obscure celebrations. I'd much have preferred the Grand Galloping Gala myself, but that isn't for several months (a Fall celebration, remember?)..." I thought to myself as we all made our way to the gardens. Along the way, I couldn't help but notice the famous stained glass windows in the halls.
"Wow, they're even better in person! I mean, sure, they're still 2D... but wow..." (If you didn't already know this or suspect it, I still look like me but cartoon and the Ponyville/Canterlot/Equestria world is still cartoon 🙃)
Finally, we arrived at the gardens and gathered around as Celestia gave the opening speech.
"Welcome my little ponies and nobility! Today we are gathered here to celebrate the graduation of a very special class of swans! This class holds a special place in my heart and I couldn't be more proud of the hard work they've put in to be the best swans these gardens have ever seen. There is great promise amongst us, and I am pleased to welcome our first graduate Snowflake," Snowflake waddles up gracefully and daintily takes her diploma.
"Oh wow, this is a serious graduation for swans... but why?..." I muttered to myself in the background.
"Our second graduate, Dawn," Dawn comes up and also takes her diploma. "Amethyst," takes her diploma... you get the picture. The rest of the graduating class walks up and takes their diplomas as official Swans of the Royal Gardens. Celestia did notice my presence at some point, but ignores me for the time being. Finally, the last one walks the line.
"Lastly, valedictorian of her class, I am very pleased to welcome my personal favorite, Pearly!" Pearly takes to the stage in a gloriously graceful glide and elegantly ruffles her feathers upon landing.
"There's a valedictorian for swans? Okay that's it. This is too ridiculous. I need to shake things up..." I look to my right. "You ever seen an actual wild goose chase?" Insert mischievous and conniving grin here. (Celestia is gonna wish she'd kicked me out when she had the chance...)
However, just before Pearly could take her diploma, a flock wild geese crashed the party.
“HONK!!!” (WE WILL PECK YOU ALL TO DEATH!!!)
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!” Screamed all the nobles and guests as they ran for dear life.
“Everypony calm down ple- AAAH!!!” At that moment, a goose flew in Celestia’s ~~hair~~ mane.
Nobles were running scared, geese were honking wildly, and swans were panicking hysterically! As if things couldn’t get any worse, Discord emerged back on the scene…
“I’m really regretting coming now. I just about missed the best part of the show!” Discord complained as he grabbed a bag of soda and a can of popcorn (yes, you heard me right).
“Did I… go too far?” I asked.
“Nah.” Discord responded.
Just then, a table got flipped by a frenzied pony and a three tiered cake landed right on Pearly’s…. Well, all of Pearly.
“NOOOOOO!!!! PEARLY!!!! AND MY CAKE TOO???!!!!” Celestia screams.
“Oh snap…”
“DONUT!!!!!!!!”
“Maybe now is a good time to write out your rage at the moment before you make any rash deci-“
“TO THE MOON!!!!”
“Oh snap crackle pop rice crispi-“
Poof
Author's Note
Well guys… here I am… writing from the moon. How do I get off of here? No seriously, how? I know I could just write “and then Donut magically reappeared on Equestria safe and sound,” but where’s the fun in that? Get creative y’all! I’m counting on y’all to get me off the moon in a way that would make Discord proud!!! (Like and follow if you want and thank you those who have already followed and faved this silly story 🫶🏻)
Insert Fan-Inspired Chapter Here
After some deliberating that didn't advance time in the story in real-time like the last chapter, I started feeling kind of funny and vibrating a bit (that's normal, right?).
"Um, are you... supposed to be doing that?" Discord asked. "Honestly, you look like a maraca," Discord continues as he shifts into a mariachi guy. Then, I see Rainbow Dash flying in the sky.
"OHNYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH IS RAINBOW I FEEL LIKE I COULD RUN A HUNDRED MILES AN HOUR RAINBOWRAINBOWRAINBOW I CHALLENGE YOU TO A RACE READY SET GOOOOOOO!!!!!" And without warning, I run an ACTUAL hundred miles an hour while Rainbow (who, last I checked, regularly flies at 60 miles per hour unless she's breaking the sound barrier with a sonic rain-boom) tries to keep up in confusion.
"What is in those cupcakes?!!" Rainbow asked as she could barely keep up with the hyperactive writer.
"A bag of sugar silly!
Even after I obviously won the race, I didn't stop running... I couldn't.
"OHMYGOSHWOWI'MRUNNINGSOFASTIDON'TEVENFEELTIREDIDON'TTHINKI'DEVERSTOPRUNNI-" And then I suddenly had a major sugar crash and fell flat on my face as I went instantly to sleep.
I can't really remember what happened. I think there's a vague memory of losing a few teeth, Discord putting the teeth back in my mouth (incorrectly), and maybe I was taken to Twilight’s castle to crash for a few hours. I must've been taken to Twilight's palace, cause that's where I've just woken up...
"Wow that sugar crash did a number on me! I swear my molar is where my front tooth should be... wait a second...... DISCORD!!!!"
Okay so that fiasco got fixed. What next?
"Thanks for fixing my teeth CORRECTLY this time."
"No problem, I just had to have SOME fun right?" Discord replied.
"Actually, I have an idea for something else FUN we could do (that doesn't involve sugar crashes and lost teeth)..." I mused.
"Great! What did you have in mind?"
So we went apple bucking.
"What's so fun about apple bucking?" Discord asked
"What if... we turned some of the apples into rubber ducks? The ones hidden deeper in the trees of course. Then when Applejack bucks the trees, she'll get apples AND ducks! Great right?"
"I suppose... or, we could turn them into jello!" Discord added.
"BOTH!!!"
"BRILLIANT!!! I like you Donut. You're my kind of human!"
"Yeah!"
And so thats what we did.
"Hey Applejack! Mind if we help with the apple harvest?" I asked definitely not crossing my fingers behind me whaaaat.
"Not at all sugah! Ah just got ta get a few apples over there, then we can buck the ones here." Applejack responded
"Great! We'll just get started. 😉"
So Discord got started by turning the deep apples into jello, while I wrote the ducks into the story.
While we were at Sweet Apple Acres, the apples that hadn't already become jello apples turned into rubber duckies! This will go over just perfectly, right? (wrong. Of course it won't. Didn't you see that comedy tag? )
Apple bucking time.
"WHAT IN TARNATION? DISCORD!!! Ah should've known not tah let ya help with the harvest. Seriously???"
"... I may be guilty too."
"Gotta love that you have that book to help in the chaos, though I don't mind causing ALL the chaos." Discord said as we fist bumped.
"What in the what now? You got a book that can turn my apples into jello and rubber duckies?" Applejack asked.
"Well, not quite. (insert full explanation here because the readers already know how this works)"
"We'll I'll be darned... Ah almost wouldn't have believed it if ah hadn't seen it with mah own eyes..."
This chapter is feeling very dialogue heavy, so now Discord and I continue to do a bunch of random *bleep*. First we turned the river into chocolate milk while floating on doughnut inner tubes (Take a random guess at who's idea that was), then we made a visit to the royal palace and pranked Luna (cause why not? Luna is best princess ~~and needs and emoji. Even CELESTIA has an emoji! Why can't we have a "Forgive me, if I withhold my enthusiasm" Luna emoji please!!!~~ not important right now Donut...), and after that we went to Rarity's boutique to see what she would style for me.
"Oh my, I've never really designed a dress for a human before, but I suppose it's worth a try... what did you have in mind?"
"Well, hold on one sec." I then did this.
As I miss my ability to use the internet, I decided to write that my iPhone from home suddenly appeared. How did it get here? Magic.
"Okay, now I have my phone. Lets see... If you could make this, that would be great! Maybe add your own touch too."
(What can I say. I've always loved the pink dress more than the blue one in both movies...)
"Seems easy enough. Let's just measure your dimensions then shall we?" Rarity said.
We realized Rarity didn't have a human mannequin to drape and sew on, so I wrote it in (too lazy right now to do the whole write in italics thing, just trust it happened alright?). After some time, the dress was finished!
"Oh my gosh, yes Yes YES!!! I LOVE IT!!! Especially the tiny flowers and sparkles added on the skirt and bodice!" I gushed as I had (one of) my dream dress(es). The twirl on the skirt was phenomenal too (Rarity did a full circle skirt ❤️). Now that I had an amazing new dress, we needed an event to wear it to (and there won't be any evil family members there to ruin it!). Stay tuned for next chapter as more chaos (and some normal things too) ensues!!!
"Next chapter? What is this, a story?" Rarity asked.
Author's Note
Thanks for reading! What event do you think I'll be crashing next chapter? It probably won't be what you think, so guess wisely (or if you make up a fun fake event, I could use that instead!). Thanks to all who read this while I write from my New Testament Survey class! (Don't tell the professor I'm not taking notes 🤫) Still open to all ideas y'all may have for future chapters!!! Thanks again to SombraTheTyrantKing (I think that's right) for the ideas!
