Kind Hands

“…I don’t think he’s waking up, Evie.”

“Yeah, he is: watch this!”

My morning had started brilliantly. After what felt like fifteen seconds after I’d gotten to sleep, I felt a rather large lump smash itself into my side. Another impact followed, and juvenile giggling proved to fill my ears more often than birdsong during my new morning routine.

Let’s get the obvious out of the way: I felt like shit. In fact, this new pain in my side coalesced beautifully with the burning agony all over the rest of my bloody torso. I didn’t make much of a noise, mainly due to my body still waking up, but I could tell that today would be a rough one.

Obviously though, this didn’t matter to two people in particular. It took some effort to open my eyes, but those two were worth waking up to. Grinning like nobody’s business, a pair of tiny terrors were desperate to greet me, so I had little choice but to comply.

Actually, no. My lack of control in this situation was made immediately apparent when one of the lumps wriggled herself around to join me under the duvet while the other stayed on my back, giggling away as she looked down upon me and watched me come to terms with my helplessness.

With heavy arms, I weakly clutched at the little one before me, finding comfort as I brushed against the brown curls atop her head. “Good morning!” she had called out to me, any movements signalling that she was more likely getting adjusted than trying to push away.

While this happened, I felt a separate pair of hands clumsily grab around my neck as strands of black hair fell over my eyes. A separate cry of, “Good morning!” followed this movement and the darkness that proceeded it made me feel as if my eyes were closed again.

It was always difficult to need to push them away, but no day is ever that nondescript, so the show must go on. “Good morning, girls,” I still offered them before attempting to push myself away from my preferred place of rest. “Now come on. We’ve gotta get ready for breakfast.”

A lack of pressure on my back suggested that Eve had dismounted, but Eva was much less willing to break contact. “You heard me, littlun: let’s move,” I repeated to the one in my arms, giving her a light shove to emphasise my point.

Naturally, she had no interest in doing the right thing, and she responded with a full body shake and a selection of happy yet forceful hums. I had half a mind to accept her decision, but I suddenly felt her slide away from me. “You need to…move!” I heard Eve assert, and sure enough, I was able to witness her drag Eva out of the bed and onto the floor.

Perhaps I was pessimistic by expecting a tantrum to result from this. Eva’s docility was still something to witness as she wordlessly picked herself up from the floor and fell in line next to her sister, studying at me expectantly.

When given an audience like that, I felt guilty just lying there, so I forced myself to sit up. Doing so brought on a whole new level of discomfort as the room began to spin, even when I closed my eyes. It took me a long time to get the nausea under control, and I didn’t make much progress until Twilight entered the scene.

“Ah, welcome back!” the mare cheerily exclaimed. Truth be told, I was jealous of how much bounce she had in her step. Did she even come out to save me last night? “Spike’s already making breakfast; come down and join us after you’ve gotten cleaned up.”

“Yeah, you stink,” Eve wonderfully concurred. As if her point needed emphasising, she pinched her nose and wafted a hand in front her face while Eva looked on, seemingly appalled.

“Evie! That’s rude!”

I laughed at the antics; they weren’t really worth getting upset about. “Ah Twilight! Do you feel as dead as I do?” I asked the mare in question, my voice doing well to cover the various clicks that my body created while I stretched.

Twilight initially responded with a shake of the head. “My night wasn’t quite as stressful as yours,” she elaborated as she floated a glass of water to me. I immediately gulped its contents down for all it was worth, and Eve nearly knocked the thing out of my hands trying to get my attention.

“Where did you go?” she questioned.

“What did you do?” Eva enquired.

“Did you get me anything?!” they both excitedly shouted as they closed in on me. Rather than get involved in a spat, I stood my ground and firmly pointed at the pair, which miraculously rooted them to the spot.

“Ladies…this wasn’t really a shopping trip,” I asserted, much to the girls’ disappointment. “I’ll tell you all about it when we get going. Let me just…have a shower first.”

“Yeah, you kinda need it,” Twilight needlessly added off to the side. I gave her a quick glance, but she didn’t seem to mind, smiling away as if she hadn’t done anything at all. There clearly wasn’t much of this conversation left to salvage, so I relented to my companions’ wishes and disappeared into the bathroom.

“Don’t wait up! I hope breakfast is good…”

Breakfast did little to perk me up- but it helped. The weather too; it was glorious. The previous night and its events seemed far in the past as Twilight led the girls and I in some random direction for the second time in as many days.

I had already asked her where we were going, but again, she had kept her cards close to her chest. This distressed me to no end; if yesterday was any indication, then I had every right to be nervous. I didn’t want to see the colour pink for a little while.

At least the girls were calmer today. Eve had called shotgun to ride on my shoulders, and Eva was compliant in her sister’s absence. If anything, she was leading me around. She wordlessly followed behind Twilight, glancing up at me occasionally for reassurance- as if I had any more control in this situation than she did.

Eventually though, Twilight led us to a familiar place. Some old dainty bridge and a glorified tent. Of course: it was Ponyville’s spa- the place where I’d met Rarity. As far as I could tell, though, Rarity wasn’t here this time. Which meant that…

“I was thinking that you might need some R&R after what you went through last night,” Twilight explained, completing my train of thought for me. She produced a small note out of thin air that indeed confirmed that Ponyville Spa would be seeing me today for a massage.

I gave no thought to how or when Twilight had arranged this because I was quite touched. Although, calls of, “What does it say? Let me see!” from my shoulders somewhat disrupted the mood.

But you know what? I wasn’t going to complain today. From now. “…Thank you, Twilight,” I awkwardly mumbled, eyes focused fully on the note in my hands. Why did it feel so awkward? I should’ve had enough practice with this by now.

Regardless of my social ability, I was still able to get a little laugh from Twilight. “You’ve never been good at this sort of thing,” she responded. Truth be told, I wasn’t sure if she was asking me a question or stating the obvious.

Her words cut straight through me though, slicing my confidence as they travelled. I was almost fortunate when Eve decided to stick her nose into my conversation with some advice.

“No, you say it like this: Thank you, Twilight!”

The little one sung out those last three words with a syrupy-sweet intonation and in that moment, all of my time as a teacher came back to bite me. I couldn’t believe that I was expected to practice what I preached, and my uncertainty must’ve shown in my lacklustre imitation:

“Thank you, Twilight…”

Oh, but this was not good enough for the little ones. Even Eva now had gotten involved, pulling on my arm before singing out a “Thank you, Twilight!” of her own. Soon enough, Twilight was being praised from every angle and at every volume, and I knew that I needed to get involved now before we woke the neighbours.

“Thank you, Twilight!” I very painfully cried out, my voice cracking as I failed to hit the girls’ coveted high notes. Of course, the pair of them laughed at me while my face burned. I could feel the heat escape from my cheeks as Twilight let out a giggle, her features also tinged a familiar shade or red.

Eve didn’t seem to see anything wrong with the conversation. With a “You’re funny, Mr. Bayard!”, she wrapped her arms around my head and lazily rested her hands over my eyes. The darkness was comforting, but I’d need her to stop before I walked both of us into the doorframe.

But until then, I had to rely on my hearing. “You’re very welcome,” I heard Twilight say, although it was difficult to hear her voice. Thankfully, she must’ve given herself a moment to turn up the volume before speaking again. “The princess has worked you so hard this last week; you deserve something like this.”

I desperately felt the need to say something in response to that. “How much do I owe you?” was my best attempt at keeping the conversation going, but it was obvious that I was struggling. Much like how I must’ve been flailing with my hands trying to find the mare, my words also seemed wildly off the mark.

Eventually, Eve let me see again. I was greeted by Twilight once more, albeit her being much closer to me now. Her eyes were focused on mine, and she simply stated, “It’s not about the money,” while her gaze urged me to respond. It didn’t sound as if she was upset, but I had the suspicion that I was testing her patience.

“Then I won’t say any more about it. Take us inside, madam,” I concluded with a clap of my hands.

Thankfully, Twilight did as she was told, and I was soon introduced to the spa’s interior. It was about what you’d expect from a reception area: a large open space with a load of plain chairs dotted around the perimeter. All of the seating pointed inwards towards a rustic reception desk.

I always liked the colour purple, and this place was full of it: the wallpaper, the flowers that sat between the seating groups…even the small gems that adorned the chandeliers above me were almost entirely composed of that lucrative lilac.

It was a shame that the pony behind the reception desk didn’t match this colour scheme. She was still alright though- a blue coat worked just a nicely. She looked well-kept and far too fancy to be working for minimum wage, so I imagined that she was who we were looking for.

“Welcome, customers,” the receptionist proudly proclaimed. She spoke with a ridiculously thick…Eastern European(?) accent, and no amount of converting ‘they’ to ‘zey’ could do her inflections justice.

“Good morning, Lotus. I’m here for my appointment,” Twilight stated on approach, simple as you like. Without missing a beat, she grabbed the small note from my hands and presented it to the mare behind the desk, who briefly glanced over it.

Once the receptionist finished scanning the paper, she turned her attention towards me. Her blue eyes certainly gave me far more attention than she had given the note, and I could only watch as her neutral expression changed into a slightly unnerving grin.

“Ah, but it is not for you: maybe it is for your friend here.”

By the way she looked up at me expectantly, I imagine that she was waiting for me to speak. This assumption was compounded by Twilight, who gave me a small nudge to begin my introduction. “Yeah, I guess that’s for me…uh, I don’t actually know what it’s for though.”

“No problems,” Lotus reassured me. She pushed herself away from the desk and set off down one of the hallways behind her. “Come, come.”

For whatever reason, this setup distressed me, so I looked to Twilight for extra reassurance. The alicorn must’ve noticed my unease, so she reassumed her role of leading the way. “She won’t bite,” she softly stated as she overtook me. “You might even enjoy it.”

It was somewhat ironic that the proposal of a relaxing massage made me so paranoid. I probably shouldn’t have been, given that Twilight seemed to have some kind of interest in keeping me alive. These ponies were just hard to trust, I guess; I couldn’t imagine us all getting along so well.

Still, we were here now. We were still surrounded by purple, which was nice, only now we were in a larger room with a couple of massage tables and a nice pool of water. The sight of the water brought back traces of trauma, but I’d be sure to keep my head above the surface this time.

“Right this way, friends,” Lotus stated, gesturing towards the set of massage tables. “Massage for three.”

That couldn’t be right. “Three? With these two?” I clarified, expecting there to have been some form of poor communication. Alas, I was to be ignored as Lotus patted down three of the massage tables before turning back to me with a deadpan expression.

“Your foals have had a rough time too,” Twilight sought to remind me. She was good at telling me these things, like an angel on my shoulder. Still, that left another question to be asked.

“Well, what are you gonna do?”

I don’t know why I really asked; I could’ve just looked behind me to see Twilight sit herself down on what appeared to be a recliner some distance away. She clearly had other plans.

But even so, was this right? Is this what we were supposed to be doing? Can you give a four-year-old a massage? I feel scared to research it.

Either way, the girls’ faces displayed the reactions that I was expecting. “What’s a massage?” Eve asked like clockwork, and I tried my best to think of an explanation that didn’t sound immediately predatory.

“It’s…when somebody rubs your body in a way that feels good. It’s relaxing.”

Yeah, that’ll do it. My imminent blush notwithstanding, I did well to persuade Eve, who shrugged before clambering herself up onto the table.

It was a shame that Eva was never quite as bold. True to form, she’d already worked her way over to me before proceeding to grab at my arm once more. She always had a way of signalling when she had doubts about something, but I knew that there was a way to get through to her.

Simply picking the little one up was usually enough, and judging by the way she reciprocated the contact, this action was still sufficient. “Trust me. You know that I won’t let them hurt you,” I reassured her, instinctively wiping away tears that didn’t yet exist.

Her expression was always fragile, but again seemed to be permissive as I moved towards the table with my cargo. She gave little resistance to being let down, so down she went. “Brave face,” I told her, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek for good measure.

Right. So, with that done, it was now time to…figure out why Eve was back on the floor again. Stern-faced and with arms crossed, she pouted up at me as if I’d done something wrong here. “Why?” was all I asked her, my facial expression surely matching her own.

Without missing a beat, Eve lifted both of her arms in front of her. I knew what that meant, so up she went as well, followed by her being deposited on a table of her own. It was strange that it took a little bit more coaxing to get her to dislodge.

“Tell me I have a brave face,” she demanded of me, albeit in the form of a hushed whisper. While she requested this, she also tapped a finger on her right cheek, indicating her desire for similar treatment as her sister received.

I heard giggling somewhere in the background, and my blush quickly resurfaced. “Yes, you have a brave face, sweetheart,” I relinquished with the second kiss of the day. I could only hope that these two would be satisfied after all this.

A comment of, “We can see where your stress may come from,” brought my attention back to my masseuse. She was a new pony, almost identical to Lotus except with her coat being pink in colour rather than blue. I hadn’t even heard her come in.

I didn’t have anything else to say, so, after one final check to see that the girls were okay, I lay down on one of the massage tables and waited for fate to have her way with me. “Do your worst, magic hooves.”

Magic fucking hooves indeed. As soon as the mare above me sank her hooves into my poor back, I was all hers. Any concerns that I’d previously had about this place evaporated in an instant under the pressure of those magnificent forelegs.

Forget what I said earlier; from this massage onwards, I was the ponies’ personal plaything. All of those awful trials and tribulations from my time here began to disappear. Fairfeather- never heard of him. Blueblood- what chapter was he in again?

Wishing for nothing other than this continued sensation, I shut my eyes and let the ladies do their work. There was no use focusing on where they applied any pressure; I felt it throughout my body as wave after wave of orgasmic bliss washed over me. It took a lot of strength to stop myself from swearing.

Admittedly, I may have lost sight of where I was as the sounds that I’d begun to make sounded…explicit. During this time, I was clearly beyond the point of caring, but I must’ve been pretty loud due to the reactions I got from the little ones.

“They’re hurting him!”

Even in this state, I could feel Eva’s plight. In response, I lazily stretched out one of my arms, and I was very quickly reintroduced to the little girl’s grasp.

“It’s okay: Mr. Bayard wants the ponies to step on him,” Eve summarised from her own place of tranquillity, albeit with some horrendous wording. I perked open one of my eyes to witness her give me a thumbs up and wink from off to the side. Why our massage tables were laid out like this, I don’t know.

I should’ve been prepared with some form of snide comment, but there was no need for it right now. The girls were fine; I was fine; Twilight was…hopefully not listening to me moan, so there was nothing left to do other than listen to my masseuse’s running commentary.

“Then this is good- for we are the best at what we do!”

“Well, it’s a good thing that there’s nobody else in this bloody town who needs some treatment…”

You know, it’s nice to label something as a success; the spa trip had been a wonderful idea from Twilight. Granted, her session must’ve finished before mine had, so I’d found her loitering around outside. It was strange though: she didn’t look quite as relaxed as I would’ve imagined her being.

Either way, her generosity was still clear to see: the little alicorn had gotten us a reservation at some nice little outdoor restaurant. Thankfully, she’d made it exceedingly clear that we were not to go back to Sugarcube Corner- we were going to somewhere a lot simpler.

It was this little outdoor café thing. Tiny little tables with tiny little hay bales to perch upon while you ate. Sure, it was much too small for me, but it housed Twilight and the little ones very nicely indeed. Speaking of…

“How’re you feeling, kiddo?” I asked both Eve and Eva, not too fussed about which one of them decided to answer. I knew that my massage went swimmingly, but I was still worried about those two and their fragility.

Eve appeared to be the one to take the mantle. “I feel funny,” she uncharacteristically mumbled, having completed her tenth stretch in as many minutes.

“A good ‘funny’?”

“I think so. I feel stretchy…”

That was good enough for me, and upon sitting down at our table, the feeling of somebody climbing onto my lap suggested that Eva had kept her strength as well. Even better than that, ordering food was quick and painless, leaving lots of time for conversation.

“Twilight, you know you don’t need to do all this,” I began, feeling slightly uncomfortable with how well the day was going so far. Sat opposite from me, the mare gave me a look of determination before proceeding.

“I already told you that it’s not a bother; you don’t need to thank me,” she calmly reassured me. Her voice was soft, perhaps even a little melancholy, so I quickly dropped the subject.

Besides, Eva was shifting around again, which usually meant that an idea had popped into her head. “I want to say, ‘thank you’ too,” she quietly murmured, voice strained as if she had been trying to force her words out for some time.

As expected, she kept her head down after that. I would usually be happy to keep it like that, but this time was different. “Hey- look at me,” I told the little girl as I raised her head. Judging by the way her lip quivered and the effort she took to evade my gaze, it was clear that she was struggling with something.

“I’m just really happy…”

Eva must’ve been sitting on that for a while. Immediately after she made this confession, she collapsed against me, having seemingly used the last of her strength projecting those two statements. With the feeling of a small face making even smaller tears against my shirt, I came to assume that we were unlikely to hear from the timid soul for a while.

“I’m really happy that you’re happy, sweetheart,” I tried to console my teary-eyed companion. I knew that she didn’t need much more than that; she clearly wanted something to hold, so I just left her with that while I turned to her sister. “How’re you doing, Eve? Still holding out?”

Eve was more than happy to respond, giving a clear nod and a resounding “Mm hmm!”, occasionally glancing at her sister in the meantime. “Sorry about Eva: she’s very…”

“Overcome?”

“Yeah. Overdone.”

“…I’m just glad you two are alright,” I concluded with a chuckle. Even with her poor diction, Eve was doing what she could, I suppose. She deserved a little something. “And you two have been so good…to me and to Twilight…”

An audible gasp from Eve signalled that she’d caught onto what I was suggesting. “You mean we can go…?”

“Yes, we can go to the beach.”

At the mention of this, Eve made a sound that I’m not even going to try to transcribe as she dove at me in a chorus of ‘thank you’s. I was worried for how Eva would deal with the impact, but my declaration caused her to look up at me in wonder as well. They’re so easy to please…

“What’s the beach like? Who lives there? Is it warm?” Eve continued, seemingly having entered another gear. As she prattled on, she got increasingly bold, eventually standing on top of her chair as her excitement continued to rise. “Good golly-gosh: I’ve never been to the beach, so…”

“Don’t go on the table…”

“…I want to know all about it because what if there’s something that lives there who doesn’t means to live there? Because if there’s something that doesn’t…”

I put a stop to this rambling by placing my hands on each of Eve’s sides. She ceased her monologue almost instantly before being gently lifted back down to Earth. “That’s great and all…but get off the table.”

Although her mind may have been running riot, Eve seemed calm in the wake of her defeat. Plopped back down in her chair, she applied all her attention to swinging her arms and scanning the area for something interesting to focus on.

This time, however, it was Twilight’s turn to speak up. “Actually, I might have some books on the kind of creatures you can find at the beach. You’re free to look through them if you like.”

“Can I?” Eve asked me, acting as if this situation was mine to control. Her childish enthusiasm must’ve gotten the best of her as she looked set to explode.

“Don’t look at me,” I helpfully pointed out, gesturing towards Twilight instead. Once she and Eve made eye contact, a pair of nods were exchanged with varying levels of excitement before I felt a pair of miniature hands grab at me again. “Again, your love and affection are both directed at the wrong person right now.”

Eve didn’t seem to mind; she just kept on clinging. “You know, I’m glad that you two have taken to all this so well,” I noted to the little ones, who both focused on me in response. “Like, I thought that you’d have wanted to go back to school by now.”

I was clearly mistaken in my assertion as the pinching along my sides entered into a crescendo as Eve sought to gleefully burrow her way directly into me.

“I don’t want to go back to school!”

To be fair, I should’ve expected such a reaction from someone so young. It’s always a question of ‘all or nothing’ with this lot. “You don’t want to see people at home or at school…?”

“None of it’s very nice,” Eva quickly replied with an alarming level of eloquence. From what little time it took her to answer, I could only assume that such a response was automatically conjured up in that mind of hers.

“You’re not there,” Eve perhaps sought to elaborate, losing much of the energy behind her voice.

Initially unsurprising, I was beginning to grow concerned that this conversation was heading in a negative direction. “There’s not anything you miss?” I asked the duo, hoping for some shred of positivity. I was met with a long period of silence which was only hesitantly halted by Eva.

“…I miss maths.”

Both Twilight and I found some amusement at such a comment. In all honesty, the mare’s laugh reminded me that she was still here; she seemed to have a habit of sitting back whenever the little ones were involved. “Then we’ll make a list of stuff and see what we can do,” I summarised, and a whole load of smiles suggested that I was on track this time.

Despite this brief flash of positivity, the mood felt fairly subdued to me. Thankfully, waiters soon appeared with our food, which gave all of us a distraction. Even so, Twilight had one last question to ask before her mind was completely clear.

“Good golly-gosh?”

“Mrs. Stuart didn’t like using The Lord’s name in vain.”

Well, we were all done with that- and I was quietly excited to see what gift Twilight was going to supply us with next. From the direction that we were travelling, I began to wonder if a trip back to Rarity’s was on the cards.

Eve had once again failed to occupy the space on my shoulders, although that didn’t mean that she was out of ideas. The only person who was more surprised than I was with the little one’s desire to sit on Twilight’s back was Twilight herself.

But there they were, bobbing along quite nicely. Maybe the promise of some reading time had brought the pair together. Or maybe Eve just couldn’t be bothered to walk anymore. Either way, this walk was a far cry from the one during my first day in Ponyville. I almost felt a moment of nostalgia from the whole ordeal.

And in no time at all, we were back in Carousel Boutique. It even looked the same as it had all that time ago, which…actually wasn’t unusual in the slightest. I guess the only difference was how I felt once I stepped back inside it.

Although, that didn’t mean that things were entirely smooth. Almost immediately after having Eve dismount from her, Twilight suddenly appeared to be rather flighty. Every now and then, she snuck glances at the boutique’s door while biting at her bottom lip.

“You need a wee or something?” I asked my unsteady companion. With a jolt so strong that I was surprised that she didn’t break her neck, the mare wrenched herself around in an attempt to answer me.

“No, no, no, no, no!” she protested, waving her forelegs around. “I just remembered that I needed to do something…”

Honestly, I could’ve entertained the idea of keeping Twilight around, but my heart wasn’t in it this time. “Well, go on then, hun. The world is out there waiting for you.”

“…May-maybe you could go gift shopping after this too…?” the giddy mare suggested for whatever reason. I could only laugh at how unnecessary how nervous demeanour was.

“Just go, madam; we’ll see you back at the castle later.”

And so, shakily, off she went. Without another word, she was gone within an instant, leaving me feeling somewhat rejected. I didn’t know where she had to be, but I hoped that it was more important than staying here with me.

Whatever- I was being yanked around anyway, so I doubted that I’d be given time to miss her. And Rarity was approaching as well, all dolled up for no reason whatsoever. It was just like old times.

“Good afternoon,” the pristine mare called out. Her voice was sharp yet welcoming; it made me stand up straight when I heard it.

“Yeah, we’re back,” I mumbled out in reply, sounding like a man who was out of his comfort zone. “Twilight…told us to come here…and now she’s gone again.”

Such an incomplete line of dialogue may phase some mares, but Rarity seemed to be the exception. “Yes, she mentioned the need for some new garments on your behalf. Perhaps something for the Grand Galloping Gala?”

She must’ve been expecting me to know what the hell she was talking about, so she was rather bemused when I didn’t reply. “…The Gala has not been discussed with you?”

The blank faces continued as a sort-of impasse descended upon us. The only thing I could do to alleviate this- aside from checking on what the little ones were doing- was to offer some vague point in the right direction. “I think Luna might’ve mentioned it…”

This seemed to have been good enough for my little seamstress. In the same friendly tone, she let me in on a little secret. “Well, if the order I have here is any adequate indication, you are invited. Congratulations.”

With such a cheerful delivery, it was hard for me to tell if she was being sarcastic with that last bit. I decided to be optimistic with my outlook this time- although I still had some questions. “Is it worth celebrating?”

“Oh, but of course! It is one of the most exclusive get-togethers in Equestria!”

Well, well, well- a party with the elite. A gathering of some of the most cardboard ponies around, no doubt. Rarity certainly had a high opinion of it though, but that could well have been from a ‘distant admirer’ kind of viewpoint. I was ready to turn my nose up at it.

“Yeah, but will I actually want to go?”

“Perhaps not. Are you a fan of royal pleasantries?”

“I don’t even know what that means.”

“Then you probably have your answer.”

Time for some mixed feelings: firstly, what use was I going to have there? And even after that, what if I was to be paraded around on a leash, hence the new clothing? Twilight sent me here for a reason- but if Twilight was going to this place too, then I doubt that she’d let something happen to me.

Now that I’d thought about it, there was nothing ‘mixed’ about my feelings at all. I guess it was something to do. And besides, Rarity was still quite chipper about it, as she made her own positive comment of, “Although, just because one may not be a fan of the occasion, that does not mean that one cannot still look fabulous.”

I guess that meant that I didn’t have a choice as to whether I was going or not. Even so, it’d be nice to get some nice clothes- something for the occasion. If everyone would be wearing something nice, it might be the first time that I’ll come close to blending in.

In terms of manners, however, we were nowhere near to being part of the crowd. By ‘we’, of course, I’m lumping the girls into this, who admittedly were doing well to only touch the mannequins rather than pull them down. But yeah- I knew that they wouldn’t fit in well at the Gala.

I was moments away from bringing the girls back to me, but Rarity had other plans. “You can leave them be,” the mare stated. “Luckily for you, your foals won’t need to be measured again; I only need more accurate measurements for your clothing. A tighter fit and whatnot.”

That made sense: what else can you do with dresses anyway? Make them more flowy? I guess that also confirmed that the girls would be with me too, so that was something to consider- and I would surely consider it once I’d gotten some size adjustments.

“Okay girls- you hang tight for a few minutes.”

Neither Eve nor Eva had decided to ‘hang tight’. From the moment, the curtain was closed behind Rarity and I, rusting could immediately be heard behind the decorative fabric. At this point, I didn’t mind them seeing me shirtless; I’m sure they’ve seen it before.

Putting them to one side for a moment, I focused on what Rarity was doing. “So, you need to…” I half-prompted, eyeing up the seamstress’ many floating utensils.

“Twilight asked me to make you something more fitting for the Gala,” Rarity curtly replied, more concerned with her measuring tape. “As much of a pleasure it is to do so, I require some more accurate measurements.”

Wordlessly, my shirt was removed from my body as I assumed the position that Rarity undoubtably desired. It took but a moment for her to get going, humming a cozy tune while doing her duties on my chest.

But after a short time, she stopped and frowned at me. “Your stomach is rather…how do I put it…?” With a forehoof on her chin, she looked over my torso, her eyes scanning around its perimeter in a way not too dissimilar to one of Twilight’s gazes.

It was clear what she was alluding to, and it was a bit harsh. My stomach rolls had shrunk down over the last couple of years, but there wasn’t anywhere for the fat to go at this point. I know all about the ‘if you can pinch more than an inch’ crap, but come on now. You never see a dwarf with a six-pack. “Hey, it’s not through lack of effort: I’ve been working my arse off ever since I got here.”

Regardless of the bitterness in my voice, Rarity continued with her measurements unperturbed. “Of course, of course. I was merely commenting on human bodies in general rather than yours specifically.”

“That sounds like a very roundabout way of saying that I’m fat.”

“No, no, no- your foals seem to share your proportions after all.”

“This just keeps getting worse.”

I may have been brooding, but I think it was more likely that I needed to have a nap rather than me actually being upset about anything. After all, my mates always called me a fat bastard whenever I wanted something to eat, so Rarity was being pretty polite, all things considered.

Besides, I wasn’t alone. “You’re not fat, Mr. Bayard!” came a little whisper from behind the curtains. Eve’s face entered the space just after her voice did, showing me another thumbs-up that seemed even more unnecessary than the one before.

Trying to keep it together, I gestured for her to disappear once more, and she did so, seemingly having played her part perfectly. “That was rude of her…”

I sucked in a gulp of air as I waited for Rarity’s reaction. Worryingly, she gave me no expression to read into; she instead watched as I attempted to think of an excuse for Eve’s behaviour.

My inner thoughts must’ve been easy to deduce as the seamstress very quickly set herself back on task. “I assure you that it’s quite alright. Would you still like something of a tighter fit?” she enquired without bothering to look up at me. What a professional.

I couldn’t particularly focus on what the mare was saying; I was somewhat concerned about what the little ones were getting up to in my absence. Resultingly, I didn’t really think about my reply before it spilled out of my mouth- somewhat aggressively, I might add.

“Yes, I definitely would. I want to look good for Twilight.”

A giggle from Rarity brought me back to Earth. With a playful grin, she eyed me expectantly in a way that put me on edge. “You’ve been very preoccupied with her today. Is there any news that I should know of…?”

I was fortunate that Rarity had taken a break from her measuring as I instinctively turned myself away from the mare. A much larger laugh was elicited while my back was turned. “Your bubble is so easy to burst! And you needn’t worry about your garments: Twilight has never been the type of mare to care too much for decadence.”

Rotating back around, I was able to witness a much softer expression than I was expecting. Much could be portrayed by those eyes, and they were practically beseeching me to offer my side of the story. In this moment, I still said nothing, so Rarity spoke once more.

“Do treat her nicely, David. She is not one to ‘push the boat out’ with romance, as it were.”

There was only sincerity in Rarity’s request; it was quite easy to pity the mare when standing above her like this, yet I still found myself shrinking away from the ordeal.

“Rarity, we’re not even going out…” I quietly reminded the mare, my voice reflecting the tenderness of the conversation. Rarity continued this feeling by staying silent, her eyes once again doing much of the talking. “I mean absolutely no offence when I say this, but…I’m not a pony and she’s not a human.”

“And that is the only concern you have?”

Rarity had a strange way of making any reply sound quaint, regardless of its bluntness. It was her mellowed approach to the conversation that willed me to reply, even if I struggled to think of an answer. The seamstress’ measuring tape lay in heap on the floor; compassion was the only thing keeping me behind that curtain.

“But you know what I mean? Going out with another species…like, you’d rather be with me if I was a pony, right? It’s a difficult thing to think about.”

“Only difficult for some of us, dear.”

With this comment, Rarity picked up her measuring materials and let them float just above her head. I took this as my cue that she’d finished her work, so I offered the sort of vague, mildly positive statement that normally signals the end of a conversation. “I’ll talk to her about it.”

However, Miss Rarity was not yet satisfied. Even though I was more than happy to leave, I waited for the mare to make the first move. From there, it was clear that more needed to be said, as she, with a slight degree of tentativeness, continued. “Do say what you need to say, darling. Twilight is a lot stronger than she looks.”

“And just a moment ago, you were asking me to treat her nicely.”

“Love is complicated, darling- and you are a complicated pony.”

Her painful examination seemingly complete, Rarity turned away from me and back towards the curtain. I wasn’t entirely sure if she was satisfied with the conversation, so I added a little bit more for good measure. “I’ll have a chat with her at some point, then. I don’t know if I’ll be much good at it.”

I received no reply from Rarity; instead, she opened the curtain in front of us, revealing only Eve, standing tall and proud. “Mr. Bayard doesn’t like talking to people,” the little one gracefully elaborated, having decided that this information needed to be said.

“Yeah, but you sure do,” I retorted before flinging my arm in the girl’s direction, which she was happy to grab onto. “Where’s your sister.”

“Sleeping.”

Acting out a familiar ritual, I was led to the sleeping little lady. Stretched out over a lovely pink sofa was Eva, fidgeting in her slumber as if she was having a tough time drifting off. I calmy beckoned the girl with soft presses on her left shoulder until she lifted her head.

“If you’re going to go to sleep…” I started while lifting the sleepyhead from her seat. “…We’re getting you back to a real bed.”

I felt very little resistance with this. Eva wriggled slightly as I held her until I felt her body relax once more. And with this wordless agreement, I brought myself back to Rarity. “I’m sorry to cut this short, but I’ve gotta get these two back.”

Rarity simply looked back at me amusedly. “You always have your hooves full…” she mused. “…But my measurements are all complete; do be sure to swing by when everything’s ready.”

“Well, how do I owe you, then? At least I can actually pay for something now.”

“No need, dear: Twilight already paid in advance.”

“Of course she did…”

Well, there wasn’t much use in staying here then. The finish line was in sight for us, and I was tempted to join Eva in having a nap when we got back. I wasn’t bothered enough to argue about payment this time.

And Rarity seemed happy with this. Having understood the pseudo-urgency in the air, she led us to the exit with a contented smile. I didn’t have any arms free, so I was thankful when the door to the boutique was opened for me. “Thanks for this, Rarity.”

“The pleasure is all mine, darling,” the little seamstress simply replied. “Take care, now.”

I could hear Eve give her own ‘goodbye’ as I stepped outside the boutique. A pattering behind me confirmed that she’d followed me out, and soon those blue eyes were drawing me in.

“Where do we go now?”

“Well, I think one of us needs a good sleep, so we’re going to go find Twilight.”