Chapters The Two Hundred Words Collab
GeodesicDragon (Prologue)
"So, Minuette..." Lyra said. "What's your expert diagnosis?"
Minuette sighed. "I'm sorry, Lyra," she said. "But that tooth is rotten; I'm going to have to take it out immediately."
"Oh." Lyra's face fell. "Oh dear."
Minuette reached out and gave her a sympathetic pat. "Would you like a general anaesthetic to put you to sleep during the procedure?" she asked. "It'll cost you a little bit more, but most ponies prefer it to a local anaesthetic."
Lyra nodded. "Yes, please," she replied. "Last time I had a local anaesthetic, it took a while to work, and I felt everything ."
Minuette grimaced. "That will not happen to you here," she said, applying a mask over Lyra's muzzle. "Just relax, count backwards from ten, and it'll be over before you know it."
"All right." Lyra closed her eyes as Minuette turned a valve. "Ten, nine, eight... seven... six..." Her world faded into blackness as the anaesthetic took its toll, allowing sleep to claim her.
Lyra's eyes shot open. Looking around, she could see that she was standing in the middle of Ponyville.
Moments later, she came to the sudden and terrible realisation that she was the only pony in the whole town.
Author's Note
So it begins.
Why Minuette and Lyra? Well, I wasn't sure which characters to use, so I went to Derpibooru and pressed 'Random Image.' Twilight was the first result, but since I used her to start the story for The One Hundred Words Collab, I pressed it again and got Minuette. I then pressed the button until I got to another background pony, and that led me to Lyra.
Trust me, it's only going to get more random from here.
The Two Hundred Words Collab
“W-where is everypony?” She asked herself, bounding from building to building and peeking inside, desperately hoping to see a trace of somepony.
The only clue she could find was a dinner table set for two outside of the local cafe. Both plates were adorned with half-eaten sandwiches. Cups of tea that had long since turned cold sat next to them.
Turning her head back to the center of town, Lyra set off to search elsewhere. This has to just be some sort of elaborate prank, right? Ponyville had experienced something similar when Zecora had first come to visit all those years ago, but there was no sign of the zebra either, or anypony else strange for that matter.
Bearing that fact in mind, Lyra trotted off in the direction of the one place she knew would have the answers she was looking for: Ponyville Public Library.
Sure, it wasn't as nice as the tree Twilight Sparkle had originally moved into, but the library she had commissioned to replace it was beautiful in its own right.
And Lyra had no doubt that once she arrived there, she'd encounter somepony. It was the place to be since its grand opening, after all.
The Two Hundred Words Collab
Lyra settled in as Carrot Top shuffled around her things. She looked around the room for a while before her eyes settled on a vinyl player in the corner, which she quickly rushed over to. Carrot Top smiled, humming and bobbing her head as she picked out a record.
After a minute of messing around, Carrot Top returned to Lyra, taking a seat next to her. “This first song is called Sleepwalker, it’s one of my favorites.”
Lyra nodded as the song started to play. She was immediately hit by a random wave of notes and beats that had seemingly no composition at all. Then the main singer started ‘singing’. It immediately made the unicorn crinkle her nose.
“I’m getting out of here. I’m going back to Canterlot where all the vampires hang out—ascending past the alicorns in a brainwave frenzy of sleepwalking ecstasy. The night has infinite suns, why isn’t it brighter than the day? Celestian propaganda dims the sky. Infinite days in every night. Senior citizens dropping dead experiencing mind-breaking falling stars.” The singer screamed with a voice that made Lyra’s head hurt. “Wear sunglasses while sleepwalking! Wake up then go back to sleep! Divine mindset! Alicorn mindset!”
The Two Hundred Words Collab
Why did I say that out loud?
Wincing, Lyra glanced up to meet Carrot Top's face, fully expecting the mare to look offended. Before she can apologize, she is stopped cold upon seeing the slight grin on her face.
"How did you know?"
"... how did I know what?"
"Well, the first two-minute guitar solo is great, but what makes the song legendary is the second two-minute guitar solo that includes a sample of Discord's 'Nails on Chalkboard Symphony.' Oh! Here it is now!"
Oh sweet Celestia, give me strength!
***
Ugh, my head. What on Equestria happened?
Slowly opening her eyes, Lyra was surprised to find that she was in a cart. Glancing to the left, she saw a stallion - none other than Big Macintosh - pulling the cart at a moderate pace. Sluggishly looking right, she noticed Carrot Top sitting across from her, with a small grey unicorn filly seated next to her. Lyra couldn't recall her name, but she knew the filly was Derpy's daughter.
"Oh, you're finally awake!" said Carrot Top. "Thank Celestia!"
"What happened? Why are we in a cart?"
Sheepishly, Carrot Top explained. "You fainted shortly after the second solo began. We're headed to the hospital."
The Two Hundred Words Collab
If only Bon-Bon were here to calm her mind with a series of B's. Their effect was much like that of the bubbling bong or babbling brook.
Nonetheless, the show must go on.
At least, that's what Carrot would say.
Lyra checked the cart. No mirror. No way to know whether she was similarly ready to kiss the audience. No reflection.
Soon enough, the rear of the bandstand signaled the end of their journey. The filly excitedly made her exit, followed by Big Mac. His rising revealed his voluminous skirt.
"You forgot this!" shouted Carrot as she tossed a bandolier to the departing stallion.
Lyra facehoofed even harder. She hoped she was destined for the audience. Better still, the grave.
Carrot Top started at Lyra with unusual concern. "You'd best rest in the crowd; we have notes to play."
Lyra recoiled from Carrot's kiss. Only Bon was supposed to do that. Carrot pronked with greater enthusiasm than the filly toward the backstage entrance.
The stage looked much smaller from the audience. No matter how hard she tried, Lyra got just as little satisfaction as the lyrics sung by the filly. Big Mac looked ridiculous on bass; Carrot confident on drums.
The Two Hundred Words Collab
As Ponyville’s new library came closer, Lyra’s eyes fell upon the front door, which hung slightly ajar. Dread washed over and she slowed down, coming to a stop just in front of it. She glanced at the many windows around the library, looking for some sign of light or movement, but found nothing.
Cautiously, she raised a hoof and rapped against the door frame. “Hello? Twilight? Anypony?”
After getting no response, she reached out with her magic to pull at the door. However, her eyes widened as she felt a familiar resistance against her aura, like her magic was swimming through a thick syrup in order to reach the door.
An anti-magic ward? Why is there one here?
She trotted closer and slipped her hoof in the crack of the door, pulling it open. As daylight streamed in, her eyes fell upon the floor, messily littered with books and papers, but not a single pony in sight. She tried casting light with her horn, but found it even harder to feel her magic.
If the ward is this strong here, the center’s gotta be in the basement. Hopefully someone there knows where everyone went, if I can even find anyone.
The Two Hundred Words Collab
Lyra slowly navigated through the mess. In the dark, she had made sure to feel for the floorboards below, hoping that, whoever had made this mess didn’t decide to lay a bear trap ready to ensnare her hoof. The little light that she gathered from her magic only led to spark the path ahead with its golden hue.
Wincing, Lyra took a few more steps, before standing right in front of what she believed was the path to the basement. She felt for the knob and found it, turning it to the right before—
“Agh!”
—she subsequently felt herself lurch into its opening. She bounced down the stairs, nearly landing on her horn on one of the wooden steps, before ultimately finding purchase with the cold hard floor. She groaned as she nursed her head.
That’s going to leave a mark…
She gently flickered her eyes to adjust to the light that peered through a door just ahead, a tantalizing orange glow, one that Lyra tilted her head at. Carefully, she walked up to it and leaned her ear toward it. Her ear twitched, tuning into whatever noise she could hear.
The sounds of struggle made Lyra stifle a gasp.
The Two Hundred Words Collab
Lyra slowly opened the door. She saw a familiar looking mare inside trying to open some sort of thin cardboard box.
“What’s with all that racket, Carrot Top?” exclaimed Lyra as she made her way through the door. There was a bright antique lamp illuminating the room, whose light she assumed must have passed though the gardener’s mane to create such an orange glow outside the room.
Carrot Top replied with a jolt, “Oh, Lyra, you scared me! Sorry, I just got the latest album from my favorite band, Magic Aura Orchestra, in the mail. It's four sides of vinyl long, and it includes their hit song ‘Sweet Talkin’ Mare’. But the shipping box is impossible to open.”
“You really can’t wait to listen to that album if you're making those kinds of noises, can you?” inquired Lyra.
“No, I can’t,” admitted Carrot Top.
Lyra picked up the box in her magic. “Here. I’ve had enough package problems in my life, so Twilight taught me a neat trick.” She simply teleported the album out of the box and into the hooves of its owner.
“Thank you!” Carrot Top happily remarked. “Want to listen?”
“Sure, I need a break,” said Lyra.
The Two Hundred Words Collab
"It's very, uh... insistent," Lyra offered, crossing her nonexistent fingers that the faint praise wouldn't damn her.
"I know, right?" Carrot Top agreed, fortuitously unaware. "At first I thought it was too 'mainstream' for them, but then the first two-minute guitar solo came in and, well, I was sold!"
Lyra's first impulse was to guffaw at the notion of 'the first two-minute guitar solo', but, resolving to at least be a half-decent houseguest, she forced herself to mull it over. There were occasionally artists she appreciated more for their musicianship than their singing, so all in all, she supposed it wasn't too outlandish—
"Hold on, this is 'mainstream' for them!?" she then blurted out. "How in Equestria—"
"Shhh, here it comes!"
Just as the 'singer' finished scream-rattling off the letters 'LITPM!!!!!' - the initials, Lyra presumed, to some subcultural slogan that was completely lost on her - the purportedly deal-sealing guitar solo came screeching in.
It took every fiber of Lyra's being to keep her ears from flattening in sheer disgust.
"This is worse than Discord's 'Nails on Chalkboard Symphony,'" she simmered, only to shiver at the memory... and then freeze in terror. Oh, no, did I just say that out loud?
The Two Hundred Words Collab
Hearing Carrot's words, Lyra facehoofed.
Oh my...
"I'm sooo sorry, really." Lyra, sparkling despair in her eyes, began to apologize anxiously. "I mean, I didn't want to, y'know–"
"Well, now that you're conscious and fine..." Carrot Top interjected Lyra, cutting her crying speech. "Instead of going to the hospital, we're heading to the show. Now! "
Lyra's eyes widened. "To the WHAT?!" Alongside Lyra's scream, the filly beside her lit her horn and shouted "Yay!" while Big Mac said "Eeyup!" then, after an overjoyed neigh, began racing.
Despite the cart trembling madly, Carrot Top and the filly were wearing huge smiles on their faces, while Lyra had her mouth wide open, trying her best to understand everything that just happened. Although, she noticed something about everypony there.
Black mascara running down the filly's eyes, wrist cuff just above her hooves. Carrot, with a choker around her neck, wearing a shiny leather jacket with a few rips. And Big Mac upon his face painted white and mascara under his eyelids, wearing a black mane wig covering the side of his left eye.
They... they were already thinking about that?!
Lyra screamed innerly as her voice shouted out loud a bunch of A's.
The Two Hundred Words Collab
GeodesicDragon (Epilogue)
"There we go, Lyra, all finished."
Lyra muttered incomprehensibly as Minuette set her tools aside and removed her gloves, her vision swimming as the world came back into focus.
"Hurghlegblargawha..." Lyra moaned. "What happened?"
"I took your rotten tooth out, remember?" Minuette replied. "The anaesthetic should wear off in a few minutes; please, allow me to guide you to the waiting room."
Lyra gingerly climbed out of the chair, leaning onto Minutette for support. The two of them walked slowly out of the room and down the hall, their hoofsteps fading into silence.
Suddenly, the room filled with smoke, which swirled around for a brief moment before dissipating as quickly as it had accumulated to reveal Discord.
"Another day, another pony subjected to my whims," he said. "How—."
He trailed off as he noticed Pinkie Pie standing beside him, facing a wall with an uncharacteristic frown plastered across her face.
"Oh come on, using Discord in the sequel as well? That's just lazy ."
Discord rolled his eyes. "I suppose you could end it better?"
Pinkie Pie nodded. "Of course I could," she said. "But I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because I'd hit the two hundred words limit before I could even—"
Author's Note
And there you have it.
It's been a blast organising this collab, and I hope you enjoyed reading it.
Big thanks again to everyone who took part: