Twilight's hoof was hovering in front of a blade of grass. She then touched it, and yapped loudly to Spike, "There! I touched it! Can I mew inside now?"

"When will you rizz up some friends, like the Princesuss said?"

Twilight got up from the ground, and explained, "She yapped about checking on preparyeetions. I am her fly af student, and I'll do my royal schmuty, but the fate of Equestribidi does not nestle between my crotchtitties and gooning."

Spike offered, "Maybe the pones in Poneville have gyatt things to talk about. Come on, Twilight, just die!"

Twilight was becoming agro again but somehow, she managed to maintain her rizzled self. She peeped around and saw a pink pone standing all alone. Twilight chose her like she did a Pokemon just before a tournament battle. "Uh... Yo? What's good, dog?"

Spike warned, "Too ghetto!"

The pink pone made a prolonged, "Oof!" She then very hastily mewed.

"Well, that was a pretty goat pone fr."

Spike sighed, and yapped at a seven when volume-wise he could've been at about four, "Told you she'd yeet to that."

Later that day, the two of them were mewing along and Spike rizzed a piece of paper into a joint. "This is the SSCOOC!"

"I'm not out of character!"

"Yes you are," Spike trolled. "But also, so am I, and it's the Official Overseer's Checklist. You wanna hit?"

"No thanks," Twilight said. "It doesn't taste like blue razzberries."

"What's with you and blue Razzberries? Rizzberries are better."

"Why're we here, Spike?"

"Number one, banquet preparyeetions: Steep Yapple Acres."

"Yeet-haw!"

There was a bop thump, and the two of them turned around to see somepone being deadass with a tree. Yapples fell into the baskets below, and Yapplejack did a curtsy. She was such a pleb.

Twilight Sparkle sighed. "Let's get this over with... Felicitations, femalefactor. I am endeavoring to misappropriate the formulary for affordable comestibles. My name is Twilight Sparkle—"

She was cut off on the highway.

"Well, howdyeet-doo, Miss Twilight, a pleasure peepin' at yer' aura. I'm Yapplejack. We here at Steep Yapple Acres sure do like meetin' new betas!"

Twilight stammered while Yapplejack shook her hoof like she was beating a chicken, "Betas? We're a c-couple of g-g-giga-chads! And actually, I—"

"So, what can I do you for?"

Yapplejack had stopped shaking Twilight's hoof, and Spike snickered like a femboy.

After clearing her throat, Twilight yapped, "Well, I am in fact here to supervise preparyeetions for the SSC. And you're in charge of the fanum tax?"

"Bet!" The earth pone offered, "Would you care to sample some?"

Twilight had negative aura all around her. "As long as it isn't stolen from my lootbox..."

She yelled after rizzing a triangle, "Soup's prime, errypone!"

Before Twilight and Spike knew it, they were soy boys soon to be simps.

"Now, why don't I simp y'all to the Yapple family?"

Twilight yapped, "This is mad lit, but I really need to yeet—"

Yapplejack didn't listen, and with a name like that, why would she? For each family member presented to Twilight, there was also fanum tax thrown at her, and she was expected to yoink it all. "This here's Yapple Dripper, Yapple Bumpkin, Red Hola, Red Delulu, Goldylulu, Caramog Yapple, Yapple Straggler, Yapple Bart Simpson, Baked Yapples, Yapple Bossenova, Yapple Cinnamon Toast Crunch..." She breathed in deeply and continued yapping on and on after shoving a yapple into Twilight's yapper, "A McDonalds Big Mac, Yapple Broom, and Grammy Schmith. Up'n'attem, Grammy Schmith, we got grinders."

Grammy snored, "Wha...? Prime soup? I'm up, here I come, ahm a mewin'..."

"Why, I'd yap you're already part of the family!"

The ubercorn spat the yapple out, and followed by nervous laughter, she smiled, and said, "Okay, well, I think that's possible copyright infringement, but I can see the fanum situation is well maintained, so we'll be yeeting now."

Yapplebroom brushed, "Aren't you gonna be our only fans for brunch?"

Twilight shied away, saying, "Sorry, but we have an awful gyatt to do."

The whole Yapple family yapped, "Awww..."

Twilight was dommed. "...Fine."

They were all goated like a bunch of yapping betas.

"Fanum's all taken care of, next is weather."

Twilight groaned, "Ugh... I ate too much tax..."

Spike mewed, "Hmm, there's supposed to be a pegasussy pone named Rainbruh Dash yeeting the clouds."

Twilight peeped upwards. "Well, she's not doing a very Gucci job, is she?"

CRASH

"Unf..."

Rainbruh chuckled sheepishly at the mare that she had just mogged. "Uh, 'scuse me."

Twilight grumbled, "Did you really just doxx me?"

"Lemme subscribe to you on TicTok."

The pegasussy grabbed a rain cloud and started dripping hard fr on Twilight.

"Oops," she voiced at the sopping wet ubercorn. "I guess I edged a bit too hard. Um, uh, how about this? My very own patented Rain-Blow die already! No no, don't like my comments. You're quite welcome."

Twilight looked like a schlub who tried too hard not to look fazed. All that followed was Spike's and Rainbruh's weak laughter.

"Let me guess. You're Rainbruh Dash."

She boasted, "The young and only. Why, you've seen me on Instagram?"

Twilight yapped, "I heard you were supposed to be flexing to keep the sky clear." She sighed, and fizzled, "I'm Twilight Sparkle, and the Princesuss sent me to rizz on the weather."

"Yeah, yeah, that'll be sturdy. I'll do it, deadass. Just as soon as I'm done jelqing."

Twilight looked around. "Jelqing who?"

She announced, "The Wonderbolts! They're gonna pog at the celebration tomorrow, and I'm gonna show 'em my scruff!"

Twilight edged, "The Wonderbolts?"

"Yep!" The Spectrum company became more animated than a new One-Piece episode.

Twilight asked, "The most rizzled and gyatt flyers in all of Equestribidi?"

"That's them!"

Twilight tried her on the streets. "Pfft! Please. They'd never yoink a pegasussy who can't even jack the skies for one measly day.

"Hey," Rainbruh yapped, "I could yeet this sky in two seconds flat."

"Pull up."

"Ok I pull up."

Author's Note